Lest anyone actually start thinking about George Michael & that guy, here's an inquiry that seems right up Unfogged's alley, so to speak:
My friend e-mails me:
There's a word that I can't remember...I'm pretty sure it's from the Greek. It's the female
counterpart of 'phallic' or 'phallus' but it's not as commonly used. It's usually used when describing art. It's not vaginal or vulva or yonic...
She adds that there's something floral about it. "Baubo" and "pudenda" came to mind but neither is right. Anyone got a clue? Meaningless & trivial reward a possibility.
The kitten blessed my bleg! I feel justified!
Yeah, and the guy's comments about the incident are just really fucking gross. Though I suppose when you're fucking a complete stranger you can't be held responsible if he turns out to be an asshole.
1: kteis? (Not floral, though; from scallop-shell).
Ogged, that would be a great answer except for 1: It's not vaginal or vulva or yonic...
No matter. It's charming that you try.
Gonna update that blog ever?
I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by hemoglobin.
That's good news, but nothing can make up for the fact that no one wants to talk about George Michael park sex.
11: Well, did you see the picture of George? He's not looking his best either.
11: It's old hat, Labs. I mean, we've all had it. What is there to say?
11:
So I was about to post about:
Kirtland's confession then took a bizarre twist as he bragged: "There's a secret that I have which no one knows about. It's a personal thing. Most people pull away from it. But George actually seemed to respond.
But then I thought, "these people are total strangers; they don't need to know how badly you need to know what Kirtland's terrible secret is." But now you know.
Oh God could Kirtland's secret possibly be?
George Michael likes to have his balls massaged by a sockpuppet. Now you know.
I feel bad for the guy; that doesn't make me a Republican, does it?
Eh. He doesn't perform anymore, does he? It would suck to have that story written, but the continuing harm to him seems minimal.
the continuing harm to him seems minimal
It might not do much for his relationship with his boyfriend. But that would be a risk one assumes when one goes trolling for blowjobs in the park (or so I've heard).
Like if he was on the brink of lucrative 50-concert comeback tour?
Wait, is he? Because he needs to get some plastic surgery on the eyes, if that's true.
14: The secret is obviously that he has a Huge Cock. Whenever guys pull that crap about "I have a secret, it's kind of personal and embarrassing, but. . ." followed by "took it," it's a covert way of bragging about their enormous cock size.
Labs will confirm this, I'm sure.
21: George is a man with the world at his feet. He's on the brink of a lucrative 50-concert comeback tour, which sold out in half an hour.
22: I don't know. I'm no expert, but he looks more like a sock-puppet than like a guy with an enormous cock. Did you not CHECK OUT THE SEX SHAME SLIDESHOW?
Why on earth would you be romping with that dude when you've got this at home? Hott.
22: No, I hadn't. And thanks so very much for making me.
Anyway, I didn't say he had an enormous cock. I said he's bragging that he has an enormous cock. By capitalizing Huge Cock in "the secret is," I was, you know, taking the piss. As the Brits say.
25: Maybe hottie has a really tiny cock.
25: Sometimes you want a little strange, Becks.
Ok, the last picture in the "sex shame slideshow" is really disturbing. As is this line, from the article:
Yet he ignored all the risks and dangers to pull seedy Norman Kirtland.
Yeeeaaah.
27: Oh, I see. I assumed you were capitalizing Huge Cock out of respect.
Why didn't you check it out? If something's on the Internet and it's in ALL CAPS you really should check it out.
I haven't yet watched the slide show. I'm a little frightened of it.
Whenever guys pull that crap about "I have a secret, it's kind of personal and embarrassing, but. . ." followed by "took it," it's a covert way of bragging about their enormous cock size.
I have a secret, and it's kind of personal and embarrassing. So I don't want to talk about it.
I will, however, discuss my ginourmous schlong.
max
['It's fuckin' HUGE!']
If something's on the Internet and it's in ALL CAPS you really should check it out.
Rules to live by.
No one here will be surprised to hear I checked out the slide show immediately. Funniest bit: the contrast between the on-the-run shots of Michael and the super relaxed poses of the ugly dude. The man looks like he's posing for glamorshots, only with terrible shoes.
Rules to live by.
My people have lived that way since back in old country.
29: Maybe you know this, so sorry if I'm being patronizing, but in the language the Brits use, "to pull" someone basically just means to pick them up. NOTW may be attempting a double entendre there, but I actually don't think so.
The man looks like he's posing for glamorshots, only with terrible shoes.
Aha! So the attraction for GM is that the ugly guy looks straight.
In a civilized world, one could shoot paparazzi.
The man looks like he's posing for glamorshots, only with terrible shoes.
And white socks! (Only, they look a little gray, probably because, as the News helpfully points out, they were picked from a pile of filthy laundry.)
I wish Kirtland had a cell phone clipped to his hip in that photo.
Question: Would it be more or less commendable if George had been caught with either Boy George or Pete Burns?
37: I figured, but c'mon. "Pull"? "SEEDy"? Can we allow an unintentional double entendre? (A double unentendre?)
42: Digging up bodies is less commendable than cruising in parks. Most of the time.
And this is why I would never buy the News of the World (otherwise known as the Screws of the World or the News of the Screws).
TBH it astonishes me that what people do in their sex lives is still a subject for 'newspapers' - I can see that it's interesting (one only has to remember B's sex threads to know that people like to know what other people are doing!), but the judgmental reporting makes me very queasy.
44: This is the exact polar opposite of a healthy and empathetic interest in other people's sex lives, though, isn't it? The Screws is only interested in George Michael's activities to the extent that they can be used to humiliate him. (You cannot, for example, imagine the Screws' readers reading this and wanting to ask Michael, "well, what's it like?" or "really? Why?") It's not the sex they're swarming to -- it's the scent of weakness.
My own curiosity about the terrible secret of Kirtland's underpants is of course pure as the driven snow.
I expect they'll pay Kirtland a bit more in the next few days and get his terrible secret out of him ;-) And yes, you're completely right, and I didn't phrase my comment very well.
I expect they'll pay Kirtland a bit more in the next few days and get his terrible secret out of him
Oh great now I'll have to check their horrible website every day until they do thank you very much was that really necessary
I bet it turns out to be some sort of disgusting hentai tentacle thing
get his terrible secret out of him
I'll bet it's this.
I bet it's a tiny deformed little face that constantly whispers the ninety-nine known names of God; during the moment of orgasm it will cry out the hidden hundreth name, but you will of course be too distracted to remember.
Jesus, where's a guy gotta go on this Internet to get people talking about feminine counterparts to the phallus.
Unfogged was my ... best hope [sniffle]
--Thanks, Felix--I'll pass that on, maybe that's it.
49: That'd work.
But fuck - just noticed I used a wink - should I yellow card myself? Or do I get one free one before chastisement?
Just insist that you were using it ironically.
Maybe Kirtland's penis talks with a funny British accent, like that of Tia's old beau.
And Anderson, have you considered "yonic"?
One question I have about this whole thing is whether the "staking out Hampton Heath" gig is sought after or shunned at NOTW?
have you considered "yonic"
Often have I raptly contemplated it, prior to ... oh wait, you're talking about my question? See # 6.
A quick search of art history glossaries reveals Venus pudica, and mimosa pudica turns out to be a plant. Pudica seems to be from Latin and shows up in relation to art on google.
I don't know why I looked this up just now.
How bad off does it have to get for somebody to take the job of trolling the park for trolls? Yeeks. "OK, Bob, your assignment this week is to hang out in a public park, after hours, while strangers have sex with each other behind the tree line. If any of them are famous, please take their picture. The rest of them are going to be guys with greasy mattresses in the backs of their vans."
In comparison, I suddenly feel great about every job I've ever had.
58: I assumed there are people who, rather than watch the parks, watch George Michael (and other celebrities, especially anyone who seems possible to provide copy and pictures) and follow where he goes. Especially late at night. Extra especially if they've heard a tip that so-and-so has been doing a little of you-know-what recently, and you might catch him if you play your cards right.
From 45: This is the exact polar opposite of a healthy and empathetic interest in other people's sex lives, though, isn't it?
Sure. But how many people have a healthy and empathetic interest in other people's sex lives who are not either their sexual partners, intimate friends, or paid professionals (certainly not all of the last category)? After that (if not before) it's pretty much all voyeurs and exploiters.
Often have I raptly contemplated it, prior to ... oh wait, you're talking about my question? See # 6.
Yeah, I know. I was just trying to be cool by imitating Ogged.
