I suppose recovery is going to knock some people down a notch on the emotional maturity scale.
Hmm, berating a recovering alcoholic for an hour after you've gone out of your way to snub her? You can't really make the evaluations over the intarweb, but seems like kind of an, um,...asshole.
What interesting coffee-havings. A hyper-critical person like that, not surprising he's not good at facing external criticisim; I'm sure he feels it really severly. But he does need it. Regarding bums, I have been totally the opposite, lately. I even yelled at one the other day; it just came out. I guess they've just begun to piss me off.
I'm thinking what a wonderful thing it is that, having absorbed this between these two, when you've probably got a full plate yourself, you can blog about it and release it. One could always have written in a journal, or a letter, and got some catharsis just from writing, but not gotten nearly instantaneous support like having sympathetic comments represents.
Literally ran away? That is pure awesome. You should see how often you can get him to run just for the entertainment value.
I suppose recovery is going to knock some people down a notch on the emotional maturity scale.
This dude is mentally ill. Seriously. Sane people physically run away from stuff like bears, not conversations.
I'm going to start running places. Just cause it's faster.
I feel you, al: being polite can get you into all kinds of trouble. And I don't know what to do else! Except avoid teh crazies. But then one risks ending up with no friends.
I'm going to start running places. Just cause it's faster.
Well, at least you have the right shoes.
The running bit is truly bizarre. Did he do the 'Vampire recoiling from a cross' routine -- throwing his arms up in front of his face before turing to run? Because that would be awesome.
Maybe he was running away because of the python.
Sane people physically run away from stuff like bears, not conversations.
I've run away from conversations...well not run, but suddenly leave without even giving an excuse other than "Sorry, I gotta go." What it takes for this to happen is two factors:
1) A person who I haven't seen in a couple years, who is both annoying and incredibly boring, and who I always feel extremely awkward talking to, suddenly says hi to me and starts wanting to talk about old times and what we've been up to recently.
2) In the middle of this awkward conversation, ANOTHER incredibly boring person who I haven't seen in years, with whom conversations are always awkward, suddenly says hi to me and wants to talk about what we've been up to recently.
I imagine the correct thing to do is introduce the incredibly boring and awkward people to each other so they can become friends, because they clearly have a lot in common, but instead I basically froze at the appearance of the second person and said "Sorry, I gotta go."
Honestly, it was an incredibly weird experience. Imagine that first, you're engaged in a conversation with somebody, and the only thing going through your mind is "Of all the people in the entire world, this is the person I least want to talk to. And he will never realize this, no matter how bored I act." And then, out of the blue, someone EVEN MORE BORING shows up, whom you've completely forgotten you were ever friends with. I literally panicked.
This is not to say that I am arrogant and get bored easily by people. There are only about five people in the world who I consider to be 100% boring and awkward. Anyone else is fine.
I think someone should introduce Cryptic Ned to Alameida'a crush boy.
My first response to crush boy's insanity was to think, "boy, glad I'm not in any kind of Program," but then I realized that this is hardly recovery-dependent behavior. So then I just thought "so that's why I spend so much time in the bosom of my (totally functional & happy) familiy." Cos man, other people are just nuts.
And although actual high school socialization means nothing in the rest of your life, that's only because you're not, physically, in high school anymore. But it's all the same people and neuroses and crazy shit.
I diagnose this guy as having "issues" with women and being a bossy asshole.
I think it's okay to run away from boring people. I have scampered away from a few myself, apologizing as I went (natch) that I just had to go... somewhere... and that I was late and soo soo sorry, will call you later (and then never called, of course). Yes, I am a terrible person.
Also, I have to walk away from conversations with my BF at times, who will not drop a topic once he gets on a roll, despite the late hour or my desperately waning interest/ patience/ agreeability (and I have a great store of both patience and agreeability, so this says a lot). I have literally gone to bed and turned the lights off, only to have him storm into the room and hover over me, continuing with his diatribe on whatever. Garlic and crosses might come in handy at such times.
The only conversation I've ever really run away from in person is one struck up by the guy with whom my girlfriend kind of cheated on me. He wanted to be all buddy-buddy -- I wanted to kill him. But there is kind of that instinct, when you've somehow trespassed on a man's territory, to be really pathetic toward him. I experienced this with one particular couple, and in retrospect, my servility had actually earned me a lot more "trespassing" than I in fact did.
I do run away from phone conversations, though. Everyone tells me that I sound like I'm really annoyed whenever I'm on the phone -- which is appropriate, because I hate talking on the phone.
And although actual high school socialization means nothing in the rest of your life, that's only because you're not, physically, in high school anymore. But it's all the same people and neuroses and crazy shit.
I second this. In the last few months alone I have often had occasion to murmur, "fuck, that's so high school."
Adam in 17 reminds me of an ex-coworker who was great on the phone. He didn't seem to mind cold calls, hard-assed calls, shooting-the-shit calls. But practically every call, when he was done with it, he'd end thus:
"Alright, guy, I gotta run."
[Hangs up phone, kicks back in chair, reads trade newspaper]
People, we're not talking figuratively here. She says he ran. Like took off down the block. We've all avoided conversations and/or people. But this sounds like her criticism actually provoked a "fight or flight" type response. More than a bit nutty, and very funny.
In my mind, I picture him running like Napoleon Dynamite. Y'know, with a little forward lunge first.
I'm willing to bet that you sent the first text message in history using the word "hectoring."
He's a maroon! (He could probably do with more help than just AA.)
You pegged him with sanctimonious and hostile and lecturing. Maybe he can get better, maybe not. But his actions are rude.
I'm really not thrilled with his ignoring her phone call. It isn't just for her sake he should be considerate; he should do it because it helps him (I hate slogans, but I am is responsible is correct). OTOH, he should do it with a spirit of kindness. Maybe it was a kindness after all that he didn't enage her. Would that he had stayed disengaged.
There are lots of broken people in AA/NA. The degree of damage varies widely. I'd say it can be worse than HS. For me at least, I got worse (socially) after I quit drinking. I think that I've gotten better since then, but I wouldn't have wanted to spend a bunch of time with me in early sobriety.
I had to add 'hectoring' to the phone dictionary.
because I hate talking on the phone.
Preach it, brother. You and me both.
I'm willing to bet that you sent the first text message in history using the word "hectoring."
Someone made a similar comment to me after I complained that there didn't seem to be a semicolon in my phone's alphabetical armamentarium. But, actually, there was, and the day was saved!
yay b-wo! I use semi-colons in sms's all the time.
Phone dictionary? They spell-check text messages?