Since it can't possibly be me, it seems clear that you have no ethical obligations other than an obligation to be a sharing member of the unfogged community
You are ethically obligated to create a new profile that conceals your true identity and conforms to their list of what they are looking for, then get to work on laying the groundwork for the greatest Unfogged post evar.
Unless it's me.
I think you're obliged to date them. Regardless of gender or sexual preference. And put some real effort into making the relationship work.
For a second I got scared it was me. Not because I have any embarrassing profiles out there, but just... general random fear.
You are ethically obligated to create a new profile that conceals your true identity and conforms to their list of what they are looking for, then get to work on laying the groundwork for the greatest Unfogged post evar.
I'll endorse this. But be careful when filling out the profile, ogged's TV show obsessions could give the game away.
Be a good person and keep it to yourself. You may email the person in private to harass them.
How could you know? Anyway, if you could find them, so might someone else. You ought to let that person know that he or she isn't as opaque as he might hope.
I once put did a matchdotcom profile, which was up for about a week in 1999. And I guess I was on friendster at some point, three or four years ago. But I think I forgot my password shortly after I put it up, and never checked it. I think I'm only linked to the one friend who suggested I join. A forlorn friendster endpoint, that's me.
I found an Unfoggedster's personal ad once and didn't even tell them I found it because I knew they would be embarrassed.
B-b-b-but, Becks, that's boring!
You are ethically obligated to create a new profile that conceals your true identity and conforms to their list of what they are looking for
Someone once did this to a friend of mine.
However, as an addendum, if the profile Ogged found was a normal one on Match or Nerve or whatever, he should be discreet and respect their privacy. If the profile he found was on Craigslist in one of the "specialty" sections or Casual Encounters or the like than he is obliged to share.
These are the rules I just made up.
That all depends on whether the ad is for a man or a woman.
I've got a friendster profile, but friendster isn't really a dating site.
7 indicates that it's Becks. Since that's established, we might as well get a link to the profile itself.
ask yourself, "How much embarassment would be too much for this person?" Then go right up to that line. And if you guess wrong -- what the hey!
It wasn't me. My Unfogged persona is at least as embarrassing as reality, anyway.
I want to hear more about ogged's hypothetical "bopping around a people-meeting/dating." Is there going to be another fun round of helping ogged revise his online dating profile?
7 indicates that it's Becks.
Nope. I do not have an online dating profile out there right now. I'm merely making a pre-emptive strike as I expect to again in the future.
What are the chances that ogged's trawling, waiting to see which of us goes to a bookmarked profile to check that it's not embarrassing.
When did we stop being an eclectic web magazine and start being a malfunctioning organ?
malfunctioning organ
Heh
You are ethically obligated to link to it immediately.
I say this knowing that my AFF profile has been disabled and I no longer remember the password, but even if it were available, I'd say this. I was really proud of that profile, actually. It was clever and amusing.
Link to three profiles, one of which is the commenter's, and let us have at.
Ogged, did you come across such a profile, or is the hypothetical only a hypothetical?
I don't understand 21. How could ogged know if you checked your profile?
(It's probably Timbot.)
29: I thought website owners could see from whence you came and to where you went. Perhaps I'm wrong. And it could be me, if [Unnamed Site] makes available profiles that are several years old. I wouldn't put it past such sites; I assume such practices would plump their user numbers, and thus make them more attractive to potential new users.
30: Only when you follow links on the site to get where you're going. Typing something into your address bar or following a bookmark doesn't leave any traces on the site you're visiting.
I thought tim just meant using the feature, on some such sites, which lets browsers know how recently a given user has logged on.
But I see now that he's far less adept than I thought he was.
31: this is true of the "whence you came" info (since you did not really "come from" anywhere if you typed something into your address bar or) but "where you went" info is totally up to the website owner to collect it and how you got to his page would not affect what he could find out about your actions while there.
30: ogged can only track referral links (links on other sites to Unfogged) and outbound links (links on Unfogged to other sites), but otherwise not. And all this time you've been taking the long way to your myspace account!
But Clown, if you depart also by typing the address in the new link, then "where you go" is also not available to the owner of the departed site. And you need fancy gadgets (such as ogged has installed here) to track outgoing links anyway.
It was clever and amusing.
I have to believe this means it was in the minority of AFF profiles.
Given the number of people who must visit their profiles, how helpful would that information be, w-lfs-n?
It just means B is easily amused.
It would be fitting to strip the names from those emails and amuse ourselves at the various strategies used to attempt to pry the information from me.
This would make it the best Unfogged post evar.
37 -- Is this in response to Weiner's mockery on the other thread?
I bet I could come up with an effective strategy for getting information from ogged, but then he would kill me.
This would make it the best Unfogged post evar.
Seconded.
It would be a very funny post, but it's so very obvious who sent each one, even with the names stripped, that I can't do it.
I just went to Match.com, and filled out the initial search fields. How depressing when you're not attracted to any of the returned results. It's like being told, "Hope no more!" Time to find a mail order bride, I guess.
45: So break it out by not-unique characteristics. Were the genders evenly represented? The ages? All frequent commenters? Let the invidious comparisons begin!
I have tried OKCupid, which has a neat matching system that actually does a good job. Unfortunately, no female in my area has a match percentage higher than 82% for me, and most are much lower. (I went on a date with the top one. It went well, but things didn't work out.) The point of this anecdote, though, is that when I look at males in my area, I get much higher match percentages. 85-90%, easily. I suppose that means I ought to be homosexual. Or, at least, less geeky.
I suppose that means I ought to be homosexual. Or, at least, less geeky.
"But then I repeat myself."
Ogged: like Patterico, only with less kidney.
It would be a very funny post
Naturally. It's four-goon conclusion.
no female in my area has a match percentage higher than 82% for me
Only 82%? I would think 82% would be a pretty high match. I doubt anyone I've dated has been that close of a match to what I think I'm looking for (which often ends up being different than what I end up liking about a person anyway).
All right people, fess up. How many of you rushed to go look at your various profiles to check for embarrassing material?
And I'm going to speculate that the odds favor that the profile is of one of the females as that's the most likely category Ogged was bopping around in.
49: Do you mean to say that geekiness is like gayness with a moustache? I'm not aware of that perception/stereotype.
females...as that's the most likely category Ogged was bopping around in.
Who, our ogged?
You made me curious, SCMTim, and so I went to Match.com and did the same thing. Among the first thirty pictures, there were some not unattractive men, but it reminded me of going shopping and deciding that I hated all clothes sold on hangers.
53: It's hard to say without having more experience with the actual people behind the percentages, but 82% was a very good match--we had lots in common, got along pretty well. And since it didn't work out (she didn't seem very interested), and there aren't any others that look as appealing, I'm stumped. Also, I haven't really been looking all that hard.
"going shopping and deciding that I hated all clothes sold on hangers."
That always happens to me. Death to malls.
55: Eh, sorta. More that they are, stereotypically, not correlated. It was a poor joke.
Actually it could have been me, if it's more than a couple years old. My present no-relationships policy was preceded by a period when I was trying to figure out a way to market my unique factory-seconds product to the online gyn world. This period contributed to my adoption of the no-relationships policy.
I don't know if I actually used the phrase in my ad, but the term "jagged personal profile" ended up sticking in my memory -- one non, plus a lot of 9s and 10s and a lot of 2s and 3s. The problem was to avoid giving the wrong impression while not driving everyone away entirely.
And my belief that everyone on the scene is looking for someone much better than themselves, making the game necessarily a mostly-losing one like the lottery, also crystallized there.
The only things I can think of I've got out there is a half assed Myspace profile created pretty much entirely for the purpose of getting messages from my little sister. But since I'm not anon and have linked to my pic before, I doubt he's talking about me. And I think a couple years back I faked some profiles on a couple sites for the noble purpose of fucking with people I worked with. Surfing around looking for the profiles of co-workers is can be very, very fun.
To return to your original question: Your ethical obligation is to tell her that you're LizardBreath and meet her in Chicago.
I don't think I would do well with a dating site that gave a numeric match to how good of a fit someone would be. Yes, as an engineer, you'd think I'd like numbers but I suspect it would lead to the same type of frustration I felt when I was in RightWingRyan's football pool. (What do you mean I lost this week? I went with the odds! If they aren't going to be right, why are they the odds!)
27: I've never denied being vain.
37: It was. I wasn't actually trying to meet anyone, you see. Plus let's just all admit that I'm cleverer than your average AFF user.
Re. the update, I freely admit that I am one who emailed Ogged trying to get him to tell me, and he is more than welcome to publish my emails for the edification and amusement of the lot of you. I am vain, but I'm no hypocrite.
Sites do numeric matches? Oh lord. Probably a bunch of calculations designed by a communications major or something.
B has quickly moved to "limited modified hangout" mode. Expect more revelations: a semen-straind dress. A beret. A cigar.
Limited modified hangout?
I'm sure I've got clothes with stains on 'em. But no beret, I swear.
66: Harvard mathematicians. The system does a good job.
Here is where I reveal how entirely ignorant I am. How can Ogged tell? Is it someone he's seen at a meetup, or is there some hideous techno method?
68 verifies the cigar. But we already knew that.
"Well, it's only the questions of the thing hanging out publicly or privately." (SFW.)
Actually it could have been me, if it's more than a couple years old. My present no-relationships policy was preceded by a period when I was trying to figure out a way to market my unique factory-seconds product to the online gyn world. This period contributed to my adoption of the no-relationships policy.
Only two years, Emerson?! Now I'm inclined to think you're just going through a phase.
I just managed to marry you off to Teo, and you're making eyes at Emerson already?
As a friend of mine pointed out, I don't have a lot of phases left in me.
At least four Unfogged commenters, incl. me, have Facebook profiles. Facebook, however, is a social networking site, and there's no reason not to be on it if your friends are. One of the profiles is blank.
BTW, dagger, if you're at all interested in language--literature-culture questions, stop over at languagehat.com. If only because Steve over there would absolutely love your handle, with its combination of linguistic geekiness and the air of occult Rosicrucian threat.
78: I've been reading LanguageHat for years, and I comment once in a blue moon. Last time I commented one of his readers checked out my site and in response to one of my posts, recommended a really interesting monograph on the Turkish language reform program.
One gets high-quality commenters coming over from LanguageHat.
As ogged won't release even non-identifying information about either the profile or the e-mails, I assume that he's playing a fun game of "I've got a see-cret!" Let's move on. No one "bops" through those sites; they hunt. Which means the the ad ogged found either fit potential criteria for his prospective mate, or fit criteria for men against which he might compete. So who could it be?
I'd guess Becks, Tia, or Cala, among the women. I'd bet 'Smasher, text or w/d for the guys.
72: I wasn't sure what to say about the cigar. I bought cigs again the other day, and I am ashamed.
I've never tried online dating. If I did, it would be J-Date, because one friend of mine has recently had a lot of luck with it.
80: w-lfs-n was right, Tim, you are a boor.
81: Did you ever try hypnosis? It's the only thing that's ever worked for my parents.
Tim, you're on crack. Your logic is unsound.
Tim, you are a boor
You can't talk to Tim like that, you'll give him a complex. Guaranteed that he's consumed with guilt and self-loathing now.
LanguageHat has an insane number of books on the library thing.
Also, I'll admit to being one of the people who emailed to ask who it was. But only because Ogged's protests had a very "no means yes" air about them and because Ogged is my gossip bitch. We've established that one of the other emailers was B. I'm guessing the last two were chosen from the set [Apostropher, Labs, Weiner] with an off-chance of w-lfs-n.
81: The patch worked very well for me. After almost 30 years of smoking, I've been smoke-free for eight. God I loved smoking.
Ogged is my gossip bitch
I don't even know what this means, Miss Becks.
Ogged's protests had a very "no means yes" air about them
I worried about that, but I worried more that twenty people would write me if I didn't say something.
You all know that Timbot is hanging from a belt in his room right now, yes?
83: Honest to gawd, I don't know what you could find offensive about that.
85: Why? It was roughly a guess based on my recollection of commenters, their ages, and their marriage status.
And yet he continues to comment! That's dedication!
Aren't Ogged much older than Becks otr Tia.
81: We had a medium-sized family crisis this weekend, and my sister started smoking again after 3 months or so, and my other sister and I smoked with her out of sympathy even though we're non-smokers. How's that for loyalty?
Honest to gawd, I don't know what you could find offensive about that.
Therein lies your problem.
Am I not the boor around here? Was it not I who alluded to B's traumatic Keillor experience?
93: I do believe that ogged are generally considerably older, yes.
95: I think she's flirting with you, Tim.
You're all frickin' boors. Even Weiner, for saying that I was making eyes at Emerson. And on preview, Chopper too.
When someone farts in the elevator, do you people say, "Who farted?"
94 gets it right. I'll quit again when this fucking move nonsense is over (actually sooner, as soon as this paper's sent off, which should happen as soon as I get back from once again vacating the house so some stranger can wander through it criticizing my orange kitchen in peace). Also, we're probably moving to Ventura County, where smoking in public, at all, is actually illegal.
When someone farts in the elevator, do you people say, "Who farted?"
I think with this crowd it would probably be "How'd y'all like that one?"
99: At this blog, it is mandatory.
And why are you flirting with SCMT if you think he's a boor?
This site continually tries to find the precise level of bad taste required by its founding paradigm. From time to time we nervously ask ourselves whether the invisible line has been crossed and back off for a bit. Is that boorish? Probably.
Whoa, ogged, big surprise there. Is the word OK now? Fart fart fart.
When someone farts in the elevator, do you people say, "Who farted?"
No. I say "Jesus, what did you EAT last night??" while looking pointedly at the most likely culprit.
Cut it out, Weiner. We had an agreement, you and I. I let da slide, because she's cute (if prissy), and didn't know better.
It has been cut... out.
(Surely she knows well enough that my 75 was mandatory? I had a distinct, "Man, another day at the office" feel when I was formulating it.)
Blech, incredibly clunky use of 'mandatory' in two straight comments.
103: It took you three minutes to read my comment, find that link, and post it. Wow.
Ogged: you have a problem with the word "fart," but I'm prissy? OK.
Ogged: you have a problem with the word "fart," but I'm prissy? OK.
Comity!
111: I type slow, OK? (Yahoo site search for The Word.)
Wow, ogged, was it the loss of a kidney that made you so lame. Or were you always so lame and the loss of a kidney merely made it plain? Just curious.
Comity is a term used in international law (and in the law governing relations between U.S. states) to describe an informal principle that nations will extend certain courtesies to other nations, particularly by recognizing the validity and effect of their executive, legislative, and judicial acts.
Comity is always a thread-killer, and I've been on the record against comity almost from the beginning.
Fuck you, comity!
No, fuck you, John Emerson. But, you know, no hard feelings.
chosen from the set [Apostropher, Labs, Weiner]
I did not email about it.
M/tch, if I want to talk to Ogged, I just reach across the bed and stroke his notch.
I emailed to complain that he had announced the count too soon, but was not planning on emailing.
