My gay best friend is no help. He likes to fuck women, too. He's the worst wingman ever.
My gay best friend is no help. He likes to fuck women, too.
I'm not questioning your judgement, Joe, but you might have been the victim of a deception.
All of my gay friends are as hopeless with guys as I am with gals.
you might have been the victim of a deception
Too many to count, my friend.
I don't think we should do anything more to mar the perfection of 1 and 2.
That's great advice and pretty shrewd, to the degree the stereotypes hold, which they usually do. But my closest gay friends when I was young were themelves such dweebs I was able to give them useful fashion advice. But that was the early seventies. I hope Savage's world is more normal now, and I think it is.
So what you're saying is that we need to send teo out to the bars with Labs?
5 -- Well you got a problem then.
So what you're saying is that we need to send teo out to the bars with Labs?
If Labs weren't eight feet tall, and wouldn't make teo look like his pet monkey, then yes, precisely.
I thought he'd agreed not to insist on the little red suit with the pillbox hat.
That was the outfit Teo had on at the Gingerman meetup, right?
I went out with a straight guy/gay friend pair the other night, and they were so cute. Straight Guy made fun of Gay Friend's matching shirt and shoes, GF called him a bitch, GF put his arm around SG at some point as they walked along.
There must be a Craigslist category for this -- Straight man seeks comic gay wingman, will reciprocate as wingman in gay bars.
Sure, the solution for how shy people should meet girls is that they first need to make other friends. That really solves a lot, that does.
12: Are you sure you weren't just reading old Unfogged threads?
13: A gay friend or a straight guy?
You guys are all invited to my birthday party.
You should make it a rainbow party.
senility is wasted on the senile. I'm in the middle, so I have to go to work. Whereas the young and old amuse themselves at rainbow parties.
15: But making male friends should be much easier than meeting girls! Unless our hypothetical shy person is secretly gay, too.
*eerie music*
I know I'm hopelessly literal-minded, but did anyone else react to those rainbow-party stories by thinking that a blowjob that left a prior lipstick mark on the penis unsmudged wasn't much of a blowjob? I mean, yes, immoral and a sign of decadence and all sorts of social ills, but on top of that they appear to be doing it wrong.
Wouldn't you want to be red? It would come (ahem) first, and thus wouldn't involve dealing with everyone else's germs, and also it would be easier to reach fruition--I imagine violet being a tough sell.
I didn't actually understand the etymology of "rainbow party" until just now.
I see one potential downside here. A couple of months ago, I was casually checking out these two guys in the subway; one of them was cute in a metrosexually ambiguous kind of way, but the other set my gaydar a-pingin'. So I concluded that they were both gay and that I probably shouldn't do anything that could be taken as staring.
It would come (ahem) first
I would be rather impressed with a group of kids who thought to organize the people into proper ROY G BIV order for this kind of thing.
29.--That is exactly what I thought. In general, though, I'm pretty skeptical about the "rainbow party" phenomenon.
purple is prissy.
Not if you're black. Exhibit A: Mace Windu's purple light saber.
36: Isn't Mace Windu prissy, though, as Sam Jackson roles go? Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Wikipedia says the silly rainbow party story began on Oprah, where the color order/smuding issue was explained this way:
According to the report, girls reportedly enjoy the competitive aspect of the event by using the lipstick to essentially "mark" the depth of penetration, treating the sex play as a contest of sorts
This is, of course, also improbable. Can't most people wrap their lips around the base of most penises? The quote from Debora Tolman in the NYT had it best:
"This 'phenomenon' has all the classic hallmarks of a moral panic, ... One day we have never heard of rainbow parties and then suddenly they are everywhere, feeding on adults' fears [of] morally bankrupt sexuality among teens is rampant, despite any actual evidence, as well as evidence to the contrary."
Is there a name for a practice that begins as an urban legend, but actually winds up being performed regularly by people who have heard the urban legend?
Can't most people wrap their lips around the base of most penises?
Rob's blowjob experiences obviously only involve small dicks.
40: Either that or me and all my friends have unusual deep throating skills.
A professional acquaintance of mine once needed endoscopy for a stomach problem. The doctor complemented him on his ability to repress his gag reflex. “A lifetime of practice,” replied my (male) acquaintance.
Does complementing a man on his ability to repress his gag reflex automatically count as an inquiry about sexual orientation?
39: Rosicrucianism.
Actually that story, that it was a fictional sect that some people decided to make real, may itself be an urban legend. Or something I made up.
Fuck Dan Savage. I've decided I'm going to go into business in LA as an Ancien Regime Mistress, kind of along these lines, only less Top Gunnish. Also, we're not talking Heidi Fleiss here. But shit, if people will pay other people to walk their dogs, surely they'll pay a clever lady like me for the smartassed bossy advice I hand out here for free.
Really, you guys don't know what a bargain you've been getting.
re: 43
There's a novel which has a similar, although more complex, premise. I won't name it in case of spoilers but it's linked here:
Doesn't work. Strike that: it might work if your gay friend is Dan Savage, who was a chick magnet in his college days.
I dunno. If you have a gay friend already, fine, but if you're a single friend looking for a gal, cultivating a gay friendship from scratch seems to me the exactly wrong way to go.
15 gets it exactly right. (And 28 gets it exactly wrong.)
49 - I leave tomorrow noonish. You can't wait to get rid of me, can you?
Dude, Dan Savage is still a chick magnet.
B, with all the advice you've given the ingrates here at Unfogged, do you know if anyone's ever taken any of it, and whether it worked?
Ooh, ooh, I'm going to delurk to try and answer #39. I just asked my wife about such a possibility of acting out urban legends and folklorists have a term called ostension .
I thought the correct term was "American culture."
And BTW, the first two sentences of this post would be a big improvement on "An Eclectic Web Magazine for YOUR MOM."
Fuck -- the brochure my guidance counselor gave me didn't say anything about a folklorist.