You see, Champagne...is not Champagne...unless it comes from the province of Champagne. I learned that in bartending school.
Drunk Orson Welles said it, I believe it, and that settles it, buddy.
What is that noise he emits right before saying, "The French Champagne"?
There's some version of this with voice of Brain from Pinky & The fame. I can't remember where I saw it.
Here you go, #4. Took about two seconds to Google it up.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=IH1PJTY9AVA
Here's another one:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Za3EuqU385k
Another one
http://youtube.com/watch?v=f3B3C5hR1lk
(although none of those are about Champagne)
#5 is riffing on the recording of Welles trying to read an ad for frozen peas, btw. God, I love the internet.
Speaking of Loving The Internet, Wuzzadem's latest, summarized by Roy as "Mom's a stupid whore and her kid becomes an Islamofascist because of it", surpasseth understanding.
years ago I heard an audio-tape of Colonel Sanders, deeply senile or Alzheimered, trying to cut an ad for his Kentucky Fried Chicken.
It was very, very, funny.
In that way that lots of things about old people were, before I became one.
11: this is an awesome recording. "You have no idea what I'm up against...crumb crisp coating, wow that's tough."
Welles isn't really failing to read the ad. He mostly seems to think it's really stupid.
We know a certain fjord in Norway...
5: Gosh, thanks. Pinky just said "green penis" in front of the three male movers. You know, the same guys that packed my lingerie drawer.
the same guys that packed my lingerie drawer
And that's not a euphemism.
He said Green Pea-ness. You have a dirty mind.
"There's too much directing around here."
Hey, at least I remembered to get the sex toys put into the car before the guys showed up this morning.
But I assume they were already in the custom-made attache case where you keep them, so no packing was necessary.
No, they were in Mr. B's old helmet bag.
There's a dickhead joke to be made here, I just know it.
Oh god, I can't watch that Wells clip. Some things are too depressing.
You have no sense of humor, mwah.
The link in 11 is a lot less depressing than the link in the main post. He is upbraiding the copywriters for producing bad copy, and his criticisms are perfectly sensible. But this was the 60s, by the time you get to the 70s and the Paul Masson campaign, he has just given up.
That Paul Masson clip reminds of Lionel Hutz courtroom speech praising bourbon as the brownest of the brown liquors.
Hmm, there should be a "me" after "reminds" and a "that" before "Lionel".
Damn bourbon.