"Captain, what does the first mate say when he reaches orgasm?"
"OOOOOH--AAARR! That be trickery."
"Captain, who's in front of you?"
UUUUUUU
"Captain, have some rum. Now who's in front of you?"
DoubleUUUUUU
I've been struggling with 'W' for years now! Thanks.
Further letters are left as an exercise for the reader.
Why?
Ache? H?
"Captain, I don't underftand "'Ess.'" This is the eighteenth century. What does "'Ess.'" mean?
"Eff."
5.1: Yes.
5.2: Helpless giggling.
FWIW, I have several friends that have been tall ship sailors and they all hate "Talk like a pirate day." They've had too many tourists come up to them saying "Arrrrrrrrrr" to find it amusing.
For myself, I think that anything that's good enough for Evil Stevie is good enough for me.
LB, I wouldn't have guessed that you were into sailboat racing. I apologize for pulling nautical rank by proxy.
Captain, can I trust that you're not just spitting random letters at me?
"Aye."
Captain, what's the first letter of the alphabet?
"A"
Etc.
Captain, how far are we from shore?
Ell.
That's pretty close, actually; they're probably in a bad situation if that's true.
I haven't been since I was a teenager: I used to race Sunfish, badly, and crewed on a J-24, rather better. But I'm incredibly rusty these days.
A couple of years ago we rented a cabin by a lake in New Hampshire that had an old Sunfish that came with it, so I took Sally out sailing. The first day it went fine. The second day, we sank.
(Not all that badly -- we sailed back into shore with the deck only a couple of inches below water. But the boat was submerged. I shoulda checked the hull for holes.)
I think L. meant to be a Spanish pirate:
¿Qué?
'Queue' is another word for braided ponytail, L.
'Arrrr, captain, what be that colorful bird thar?'
'Jayyyy'.'
"Pirate! What's another name for Professor's treasure?"
"I think it's 'Aaaaaaa'. 'Aaaaaa'" Wacka wacka.
Hunh. Who knew? I assumed it was a typo for queer. Really, what kind of pirate goes around with a 'braided plait hanging from the back of [his] head'?
19: more sailors that pirates, probably. Supposedly where the little (us. white) kerchief thingies in sailor suits came from.
Dreds seem like an obvious choice. Shaved head, certainly. Maybe even just sort of a longish mop-type affair, in the style of Bob Dylan. But a braid? Practically a pigtail?? No way. Much less the fancy name for it.
This opinion is based on having seen at least five movies involving pirates. Airtight!
But all of those movies got their pirate archetype from the same, earlier movie.
Um, braiding your hair which has grown long after many months at sea without access to such fripperies as a barber shop would be a most effective way of keeping it from blowing around in the wind.
Also, sailors invented knitting.
Shouldn't "G" be really easy, since "Gee" is a word in English?
Save it for Talk Like A Cowboy Day.
without access to such fripperies as a barber shop
Frippery schmippery. How 'bout those knives they're constantly carrying clenched in their teeth as they climb rope ladders?
Knives are for cutting rope and killing enemies, not for blunting with nonsense like caring about your hair.
"Also, sailors invented knitting."
Additionally, vikings invented the button.
"Pirates don't say 'gee.'"
Stop telling the pirates what to say. Have you no respect for language?
I'll start quoting myself and responding if that's what it takes to keep this thread going.
"I'll start quoting myself and responding if that's what it takes to keep this thread going."
loser.
A mind is a terrible thing to taste.
Maybe if we ate each other's brains, we'd understand each other better.
...arrecaim comrad chind-cherchailli eturru.
Interloping antelopes. Fickle fecal treacle trickle.
I wonder if innate physical differences in brain structure account for why women's brains are so much tastier than men's.
43- Those people did have a cult of the severed head.
Avast! There be brainnabals 'pon this isle! To the ship, and put yer backs into it!
"Captain, I hear you're an objectivist, and that's why you decided to make your own fortune at sea, rather than leach off of society. What does A equal?"
"AAAAAAAAA"
How do objectivists feel about cannibalism?
Objectivists don't feel, they reason.
Maybe if we ate each other's brains, we'd understand each other better.
On the upside, if we didn't understand each other, we'd not have to argue any more.
IKt's posisble that we understand each other perfectly.
But maybe we'd, like, take on each other's thoughts and characteristics. And get mono.
I'd love to give mono to the lot of you, but that's not the method I had in mind.
Does the Fonz count as a pirate?
24, 25: "Cap'n, what do you say instead of 'Holy fucking shit!' when there are kids around?"
"Gee."
Brains with Mushroom Sauce [From To Serve Man by Karl Wurf]
Exercise toughten or enlarges almost every part of Man except the brains, so those of a thinker are quite sa tender as those of - well, whatever ethnic or occupational group one cares to insult. They are so tender - the brains, not the ethnic/ovccupational group - that they should be pre-cooked immediately they become available, as follows:
1 set brains (about 2.5 bls)
2 tsp. salt
2 tsp. vinegar
Rinse gently in cold water, place in a saucepan, cover with gently boiling water, add salt and vinegar, and simmer, covered, for 35 minutes.
1 set brains, pre-coooked as above
1 pint sherry
2 cups sliced mushrooms
2 cups cooked tomatoes
1/2 cup flour
1/4 cup cooking oil
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. pepper
1/2 tsp oregano
Cut the pre-cooked brains into 1 inch cubes. Place in bowl, pour in sherry and let stand 90 minutes. Saute mushrooms. Add tomatoes and seasonings, bring to a boil, transfer sherry from bowl to sauce, and bring to a boil again, Serve sauce hot, over the brains. For 6 to 9.
2.5 pounds of brain for up to nine people?
Add some al dente pasta and it sounds like you could have spaghetti 'n' brainballs.
Always add sauce to pasta, never pasta to sauce.
I thought the rule was always add acid to water.
Cap'n, are you sure you're not too tired to keep answering my questions?
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz