Your first link is wonky.
Also, I don't think she knows how disclaimers work. ('Here are all the scenes of graphic violence which will be shown this evening.')
Surgeon General's Warning: Quitting Smoking Now Greatly Reduces Serious Risks to Your Health. Reading This Text Just Gave You Eye Cancer.
Labs, do we need to have an intervention?
Fixed. I once came *this close* to pasting a student's email address in the space where the URL should go, and boy that would have been funny.
I love the disclaimer. I was trying to think of a "SPOILERS AHEAD: THE BUTLER DID IT" sort of joke, but I couldn't, so there it is.
Would this be funnier if I knew who or what the Anchoress was?
'We advise our more delicate viewers to close their eyes at 43:25 into the film, as that is when the crew discovers that the the alien lifeform pops out of the stomach of its victims, just like this [graphic picture.] '
Sorry to butt in (I sense these spaces are usually reserved for the gang) but I had to say the thought of putting a student's email addy in the URL zone completely cracked me up. I got some good visuals out of it. Thanks.
/receeding back into the woodwork
I also have a morbid fear that one day someone will suggest using Redi-whip as part of a sexual act.
Let's all create porn mix tapes and mail them to FL.
6: from time to time I wonder what emails would have come out of this. Hilarious and incomprehensible, I bet.
2: Intervention or deprogramming?
Roger L Simon has outted himself. He’s not really a Republican, but he’s voted for some of ‘em…and…he’s gay!.
It's sunday morning, and I just woke up. Is the entire R blogosphere going to out themselves as gay?
That would be funny, actually, in an overcompensating kind of way. "We must nuke Iran...because I'm gay!"
Yippeekayae! Can I get an “arghghghghg” for Readi Whip and maraschino cherries? Arghghghghghg!
You're not supposed to choke on them, hon.
What, no brownies?
I decline to touch that...or clean it up as the case might be.
I also have a morbid fear that one day someone will suggest using Redi-whip as part of a sexual act.
Redi-Whip is fun, you dork!
max
['Man, you so gay.']
10: Is the entire R blogosphere going to out themselves as gay?
Or as child molesters. They seem to think it's the same thing.
Again, who is the anchoress person? Must I think of middle-aged Catholic women have callisthenic sex? I'd -- I'd -- rather work.
1-866-DISGRACe! Hot Horny gay Congressmen want to talk to you NOW!
2.99$ for the first minute, 0.99 cents per minute thereafter, all proceeds benefit Foley Legal Defense Fund and RNC.
max
['Where's his Myspace page?']
I don't read the Anchoress generally (nuns just ain't my fetish), but in all fairness her disclaimer is pretty best read as an (actually kind of clever) attempt at the same ironic view of her entire post.
I've decided to take Labs' idea and turn the Weblog into a pro-Foley site.
arghghghghghg!
Is this the noise that Popeye makes? Great, I'm even more appalled now.
Must I think of middle-aged Catholic women have callisthenic sex? I'd -- I'd -- rather work.
First, it's okay to leave the gaze at home. She's not writing to water your boxer crocus. And second, what's so awful about middle-aged Catholic women, or anyone but John Madden, for that matter, having underwater sex? Let's not begrudge folks their underwater sex.
Did I say "underwater"? I meant "calisthenic". This is not the underwater sex blog.
I thought that underwater sex would cause lubrication difficulties.
15: That and Yglesias's couple posts on the topic have probably been the most sensible things on Foley I've read.
Not to mention lucubration difficulties.
But without underwater sex, how does Popeye get it on with the Sea Hag?
"I'm strong to the finish/ when I perform cunnilingus..."
arghghghghghg
I read that as a Homer Simpson-like drool. Popeye is more of an "agahgahgahgah", I think.
(added after preview) "I biffs 'em and buffs 'em and always outroughs 'em" indicates certain problems with the Sailor Man's technique.
I bet she doesn't even use real maraschino cherries—probably just those toxic chemical things.
Click through to the OP, and you'll see that among the men who make her hot are Bryn Terfel and Derek Jeter. Her tastes are truly catholic.
So who is John Madden, that he can only be fucked underwater?
The fact that Standpipe caught it Standpipeself shouldn't distract us from the monumental weirdness of slipping "underwater" for "calisthenic."
It would indeed have been monumentally weird, if I hadn't done it deliberately to tease teofilo.
So who is John Madden, that he can only be fucked underwater?
It's a buoyancy thing.
So who is John Madden, that he can only be fucked underwater?
Aquaman.
Wow, it's like a female 2Blowhard!
"This may freak out a bunch of people....you may say I'm unwise for admitting it...but what the hell. I AM NOT POLITICALLY CORRECT! OH SNAP! I am brave. Anyone else care to agree with me??"
So who is John Madden, that he can only be fucked underwater?
A huge sports personality.
if I hadn't done it deliberately to tease teofilo
Shit, I didn't get that. I thought you'd possibly just outed yourself as a dolphin trainer.
So who is John Madden, that he can only be fucked underwater?
A living god.
The next time I make fat jokes, Bridgeplate, you'd better just stand down, son.
I thought you'd possibly just outed yourself as a dolphin trainer.
Naturally, I can neither confirm nor deny.
I think its sweet when ordinary, middle aged, conservative people admit their enthusiasm for sex. It humanizes them. It also helps democratize sex. All the ultra sexy movie people have us thinking that sex has to be this smoldering thing that only perfect bodies really do right, and the rest of us should be a little embarassed for practicing. "I don't want to think about middle aged catholic women getting it on" is like saying "sex is shameful unless it is done by starlets." Fuck that.
Appreciated, Tim, but ogged genders me on purpose. He likes to imagine me, and would have others imagine me, as a gay, black, Jewish professor from St. Louis. If you wondered whether this informs his TiVo issues at all, I could hardly blame you.
People aren't saying, "Sex is shameful unless it is done by starlets." I think they're saying, "Watching sex is shameful unless the sex is done by starlets." And who can disagree?
I'm gonna get you yet, Standpipe.
(But mainly, in this case, it's that you can't say "stand down" properly without appending a "son" or maybe a "brother.")
43: I'll go ahead and disagree with that one, too. I'll admit that I enjoy filmed Hollywood sex as much as the next person, but I am generally neither ashamed nor displeased when I come across pictures or descriptions of ordinary people having sex.
42: I imagine Standpipe as an unusually plucky strain of algae.
42: Have you read that thread lately? Oh lordy, it still cracks me up.
Have you read that thread lately? Oh lordy, it still cracks me up.
It's a beautiful thing. It would appear that a long time ago, we used to be funny.
lucubration
I admit, with appropriate shame, never having before known of this wondrous word. I now await a power failure to use it in an unforced manner. Until then. . .
It would appear that a long time ago, we used to be funny.
But that was in another country, and besides....
I always forget who the wench is in this scenario, and I abjure the casting of aspersions. Inasmuch as the "wench"ing of someone amounts to aspersion-casting. Which I'm sure it would earn me a whistle from Weiner.
A whistle from Weiner is always a tweet.
Is the frozen Cool-Whip ok?
I mean getting the carton of dairy whipping cream, folding in some thyme honey and strawberries, could take so long as to spoil the mood. Thank goodness Hershey's Dark Chocolate now comes in a plastic squeeze bottle.
As an Atkins guy, I have to make do with the Kraft canned cheese dispensers. If I had class and lots of money, I suppose good pate or cavier would work.
Actually, I cast my eyes down in the cinema when watching the sex scenes in The Constant Gardener last night. So maybe I don't like to watch anyone else's Tivo.
48: I hereby submit that allusions to how we were better back in the day be abjured at least as much as the phrase "only at Unfogged. . ."
Also, *I'm* a middle-aged Catholic woman, goddamnit. People who object to the sex lives of middle-aged Catholic woman can bite me.
Or actually, what I mean is, they are forbidden to. That'll show 'em.
52 -- better use pasteurized honey though -- I think the raw stuff would have negative, yeasty consequences.
43 -- "starlets" s/b "obese older women going down on well-hung black studs".
That's a pretty weird post, coming from that same woman who wrote this.
(Specifically, the whistle for fellatio.)
Brock, fellatio need not culminate in ejaculation.
*the* same woman, not *that* same woman, although I guess it's not a significant difference.
wow--you're a middle-aged Catholic woman? I'm a middle-aged Catholic woman, too! Now *there's* sympathy for you (as Falstaff said).
So are you raising your child Catholic? Middle-aged? Womanly?
We don't take our kids to church, but are otherwise following most of the old customs. You know, had our son molested by a priest. Slap our daughter every time menstruation is mentioned. That sort of thing.
Actually, my wife had a far worse time in her Catholic upbringing than I did, and hates it far more intensely now as a result. I find it all mildly distasteful, hope the Church will sink further into poverty, infamy, and impotence during my life-time, but otherwise don't bear it any grudges.
(which is to say, you should see what I hope for where I *do* bear grudges).
The Catholic priest here for 50 years was so misogynist that a friend of my mother's was able to write it into the official church history. A very muted mention, but everyone understands.
Your wife was, after all, personally responsible for bringing sin into the world, so it's not wonder that she was more harshly treated. You are only guilty of being manipulated by her into succumbing to your carnal desires.