Re: Higher education.

1

Look, that's all well and good, but no student government president will ever hold a candle to Evil Dave Sheldon. This isn't just Northwestern pride; this is a fact.

He ran a professional wrestling-themed campaign every year he was a student, and every year one of his planks was to return Northwestern's Lakefill to the underwater-dwelling People of the Lake. And who were they? Dave's sophomore year platform explains clearly. (Every year's platform really needs to be seen to be believed.)

During his sophomore year, the debate was marked by the appearance of a pro wrestler-looking individual during a debate, who claimed he was out to destroy the People of the Lake. Dave left the podium to defend his oppressed friends, eventually hitting the wrestler over the head with a folding chair.

During the debate his senior year, he got into a fight with two of his campaign workers who were upset with his debate performance. After Dave threw several foreign objects at one of the staffers, the other actually body-slammed him through a table. (There is video of this on the sight.) Perhaps inspired by his physical sacrifice, the students finally elected Evil Dave Sheldon that Spring ... as an outgoing senior.

Evil Dave was before my time, but he lives forever as a Northwestern legend. Evil Dave Sheldon: Putting The "R" Back In ASG.


Posted by: jhupp | Link to this comment | 10-20-06 12:39 AM
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2

Wow. That was inappropriately long. Sorry everybody.


Posted by: jhupp | Link to this comment | 10-20-06 12:42 AM
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3

*cough*


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 10-20-06 12:47 AM
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4

But was Evil Dave ever elected? Doesn't every school have joke candidates every year? Even Chicago has one; one of their planks every year is to fill the midway with beer.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 10-20-06 12:58 AM
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5

NORML? Doesn't this dude seem kind high strung for a pothead?


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 10-20-06 2:14 AM
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4: Yes, he won in April of his senior year.


Posted by: jhupp | Link to this comment | 10-20-06 2:25 AM
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7

Thanks 5 -- I was misreading NORML as NAMBLA and trying to figure out what that would mean.


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 10-20-06 5:54 AM
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8

Yeah, I'm with 5. This guy is not the authentic face of the stoned.


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 10-20-06 6:24 AM
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9

Hey, speaking of tools produced by institutions of higher education...


Posted by: arthegall | Link to this comment | 10-20-06 8:05 AM
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10

I misread NORML as NARAL. I would have felt marginally better about NARAL if it had been them.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 10-20-06 8:33 AM
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11

I was misreading NORML as NAMBLA

I misread NORML as NARAL

What are you guys smoking?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-20-06 8:37 AM
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12

I only smoke the finest man-boy love.


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 10-20-06 8:40 AM
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13

(Presumably John is smoking abortion rights.)


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 10-20-06 8:42 AM
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14

(Kind abortion rights bud.)


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 10-20-06 8:44 AM
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15

Clownęsthesiologist will take this thread all the way to 20 by himself, just you wait.


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 10-20-06 9:04 AM
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16

You know, between PSUVM and this, there's a reason I don't usually tell people where I went to college...


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 10-20-06 11:22 AM
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17

"If the students are stupid enough to vote for someone so inappropriate and retarded as I am, then they deserve a president who is going to give the worst performance to the best of his ability," he said, adding that he wants the "lowest approval rating in history." Bundy continued on a lengthy tirade, calling his upcoming presidency "a fucking shitshow," without offering any explanation. "You voted for me, bitches," he said. "That was a bad idea."

It was funny when Bush said this at the beginning of his presidency too.


Posted by: JP | Link to this comment | 10-20-06 12:51 PM
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18

The administration can always disqualify a candidate for rules violations, as far as I can tell. It seems as though campaign rules are essentially designed so that every candidate breaks a number of them, so that candidates can be disqualified willy nilly by whoever is in charge of investigating rules violations.


Posted by: John | Link to this comment | 10-20-06 9:22 PM
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