Re: Gah

1

Yes, Limbaugh should be strangled.

No, Elvis Costello most decidedly does not suck.

He's not asking how to use a stapler, he's asking for a brand/model recommendation.

I think you need to eat something.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 9:26 PM
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You're alright, Mills.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 9:28 PM
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Well, somebody around here has to be.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 9:31 PM
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Wait, someone gave him tenure? well, there goes one of my favorite schadenfreude.


Posted by: Omphale | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 9:32 PM
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Actually, I want to know the answer to the stapler question.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 9:32 PM
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Project: pretend "The Ballad of Hank McCain" is actually about John McCain.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 9:43 PM
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This is a pretty lame (but successful!) bleg as well.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 9:43 PM
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the stapler thing is legit--it's really annoying having to staple 100 page court cases in five batches, and binder clips don't quite work--but I'm slowly coming to realize that you're right about elvis costello. (my husband has been arguing this for 7 years)


Posted by: Katherine | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 9:45 PM
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Elvis Costello is all right, but the people who think he is teh coolest bug me.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 9:48 PM
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Isn't Elvis Costello one of those people about whom you have to specify which Elvis (that is, what era) you mean? This Year's Model Elvis not the same as Burt Bacharach Elvis.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 9:56 PM
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>it's really annoying having to staple 100 page court cases in five batches

Have you considered a STANLY BOSTITCH ANTIJAM


Posted by: If you have a crummy stapler that constantly jams, you really NEED this beauty! | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 9:57 PM
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You go about dragonslaying a weird way, Ogged. "Pretend I defended this indefensible claim." If you don't see the merits of staplerblegging and can't be bothered to even explain yourself, I'm not going to argue with you.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:03 PM
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Obviously the internal loop should be at the back.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:04 PM
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Ogged is a pioneer of argument by praeteritio.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:05 PM
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Paperclips are practically the definition of a loopback device.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:08 PM
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I bet I could kill Rush L with a paper clip.


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:10 PM
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13: What? That's all wrong.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:12 PM
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No, Ben's right. Inner loop at the back.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:14 PM
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Ben's wrong, and I didn't realize I had an opinion about this until just now.


Posted by: Katherine | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:16 PM
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13, 18: Okay, smartypants, I'll bite. Why?


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:16 PM
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That's the way you should put it on. You put the bottom of the external loop at the top of the front sheet, bend the internal loop back, and push down. Duh.

That's the practical reason, but there are also theoretical reasons into which I don't have time to go because I need to buy toothpaste.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:17 PM
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hi. i am sorry for spamming this thread, but there haven't been too many orange-colored grass roots political actiony threads lately that i've noticed (sadly not able to read much lately). and i thought one of you might easily be interested in this notice, emailed to me by a friend:

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Posted by: mmf! | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:18 PM
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Just wait, though, because when I return from my toothpaste/bar excursion I'll be armed with several devastating reasons that will bend your mind to my will.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:18 PM
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I just can't believe no one's suggested this stapler to Drezner yet...


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:18 PM
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Ben's right on the paper clip issue.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:19 PM
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Except that if you want to be able to read more than the first page in your stack, having the inner loop at the front makes it much easier to fold the paper back over the paperclip.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:21 PM
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Yeah, and it fucking sucks when the back sheets go sliding off the stack because the tiny inner loop ain't doing it's job. If anything's going to slide off, I want it to be the sheets I've already read and bent back, because they'll be in the right place anyway.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:25 PM
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Of course, this is why no one in their right mind uses paper clips; *binder* clips are where it's at.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:26 PM
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bend your mind to my will

I'd rather see you bend a paper clip with your mind, like Uri Geller.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:26 PM
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Hey, Timbot, I just updated to your effin Firefox 2.0, and now every time I click on a comment thread, it reuses the comment tab that's already open. WTF, dood?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:27 PM
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I generally just take off the paper clip if I want to read the papers.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:29 PM
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Go to a copy center and ask what kind of heavy-duty stapler they have. At the place I go to they don't have it out in front. There really are two different kinds of stapler.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:33 PM
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26, 27: This is like wearing your clothes inside out so the seams won't chafe. It makes some sense but it's still wrong.


Posted by: Sean Flame | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:34 PM
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30: I'm not sure what you're saying, but you can always right click and open in a new tab.

Do you use a podcatcher? I'm pretty impressed by Ziepod; it's the only working one that I've found that isn't painful to use.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:34 PM
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Yeah, places that do serious stapling have serious staplers.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:34 PM
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you can always right click and open in a new tab

And everywhere is walking distance, if you have the time. Gah!


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:40 PM
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35 is one of my favorite comments ever.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:40 PM
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You're welcome, Jesus.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:42 PM
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36: Do you mean that when you click on a "Recent Comment"? Or on the "Comment (129)"? Because my browser's working the way it always did: in the former case, reuse; in the latter, new window.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:42 PM
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34: Or if you have a 3-button mouse (or a mouse with a scroll wheel), just click the middle button or scroll wheel.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:43 PM
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On the Elvis question, observe this bit from the autism telethon. Summary: if you don't give us money, Elvis will play his current songs. The more you give, the further back in his career he'll go. Talk about "funny because it's true". (Mostly, with significant exceptions. And I liked the Bacharach phase, myself.)


Posted by: DonBoy | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:44 PM
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in the latter, new window

But what about the next comment link you click, does it open in the same tab (which mine now does, annoyingly) or in a new tab (joy)?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:45 PM
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Yeah, I see what you mean. I don't think I've ever tried to open two threads at once. Surely there's a control for this in options? Anyway, you get spell checking; that's pretty awesome, no?


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:48 PM
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Spell check is nice, but I open several comment threads at once, and now I have to either right click and open new, or ctrl-click, which means (horror) using the keyboard to navigate (no mouse; touchpad).


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:53 PM
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Did you not have this problem before?


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:54 PM
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I did not. Each thread opened in a new tab with a plain left click. (I was using Tab Mix Plus.)


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:56 PM
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(no mouse; touchpad).

So these two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub…


Posted by: standpipe b | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:57 PM
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It must have been Tab Mix Plus doing the work, then, because I've always had this problem.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:57 PM
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Maybe. I'm using it again, because the scrolling when there are too many tabs thing really is unacceptable. I'll see if I can find an option that works.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 10:59 PM
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To answer the stapler question, this is the best stapler ever.

Only a 20 sheet capacity, but still...


Posted by: Gaijin Biker | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 11:02 PM
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You know you can change the default minimum tab width, right?


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 11:03 PM
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By the way, Japanese staplers are pathetic, puny pieces of plastic that can staple about 4 sheets together before they choke. Oh, what I wouldn't give for a good 20-sheeter.


Posted by: Gaijin Biker | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 11:04 PM
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I do, and I have, but I still sometimes have, say 15-20 tabs open, and I ain't scrolling.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 11:04 PM
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Whoops, I missed #24. Damn.


Posted by: Gaijin Biker | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 11:05 PM
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I don't know what 47 means, SB, but I'm betting that it doesn't mean that I shouldn't still beat you up.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 11:06 PM
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Firefox 2.0 tab hacks:

http://www.lifehacker.com/software/firefox-2/geek-to-live-top-firefox-2-config-tweaks-209941.php


Posted by: Gaijin Biker | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 11:08 PM
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47, 55: I thought it was beautiful.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 11:14 PM
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Thanks, AWB. ogged, you should still beat me up, because you need the exercise.


Posted by: standpipe b | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 11:27 PM
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A man who hosted a weblog
A man I hardly knew (ooh-ooh ooh ooh ooh)
A man who hosted a weblog
Sought to beat me


Posted by: standpipe b | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 11:30 PM
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You people are on crack. It is in fact the lamest bleg ever.

The man wrote a book titled "Locating the Proper Authorities", and yet, (as Emerson said) it does not occur to him to locate a copy center and ask.

So much for the rugged individualism of the libertarians.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 11:52 PM
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There was a muslim named Ogged
Who made aggressive when he blogged
However in person
He showed his aversion
to beating anyone up, really


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 10-26-06 11:55 PM
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Well I'll be damned. A local supply store that happens to be a national chain has an entire category called Heavy Duty Staplers.

http://www.compusa.com/products/products.asp?N=201176


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 10-27-06 12:05 AM
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"Isn't Elvis Costello one of those people about whom you have to specify which Elvis (that is, what era) you mean? This Year's Model Elvis not the same as Burt Bacharach Elvis."

One of my favorite "you don't really deserve to be as big of an asshole as you put on" moments was when my friend pointed out to a guy we met at a show that he liked this person's satchel button, which said "ELVIS" with a picture of him behind the letters. This aquaintance tells my friend "Yeah, Costello in a real dismissive tone and turned around.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 10-27-06 12:37 AM
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Bow down before the majesty of the heavy-duty stapler! Two fifteen-inch pieces of metal that you lean down on like an Acme detonator to ram in 5/8" staples? I wouldn't consider anything else if I were stapling 100-page documents all the time.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 10-27-06 5:38 AM
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I generally just take off the paper clip if I want to read the papers.

At my old office, I was infamous for my habit of absentmindedly removing paper/binder clips from reports I was reading on the train, attaching the clip to my lapel so as not to lose it, and then forgetting to take it off. One winter I ended up with a row of six or seven down the edge of my winter jacket before a colleague finally announced theatrically that she wouldn't walk down the street next to me.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 10-27-06 6:10 AM
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Ogged, you are a philistine.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-27-06 6:10 AM
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65: I often discover that I am wearing anything up to six rubber bands like bracelets over the right sleeve of my jacket, having removed them from around files. It looks ridiculous.


Posted by: Emir | Link to this comment | 10-27-06 6:28 AM
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Ben and SCMT are wrong about the paperclip issue. Their stated rationale (as I understand it) is that placing the larger loop on top of the sheet allows the paper to provide leverage for bending the clip open and around the stack of sheets. But of course this is ridiculous on its face: our wrists swivel in both directions, so there's nothing stopping a person from performing the same operation from the other side. In fact, doing so seems more comfortable to me, although we'd probably need a kinesthesiologist to get a definitive answer.

Given that the ergonomics of the situation are immaterial, it becomes a question of aesthetics. One must consider which way the final structure is likely to be presented: flat on a surface, with the front side of the paper facing up. Consider the paperclip in this configuration. Does it make sense to have the larger loop on top, dangling precariously over its smaller base? Of course not. It would take a profoundly diseased mind to think so. It makes much more sense to have a wide, firm base composed of the outer loop, with the smaller loop sitting soundly on top. This organization recalls the fundamentals of all of man's greatest engineering achievements and, indeed celebrates the triumph of human ingenuity in general.

Also, I once heard that Elvis Costello isn't really British but was actually born in New Jersey. As far as I can tell this isn't true, but it's a rumor I'd like to spread.


Posted by: tom | Link to this comment | 10-27-06 9:15 AM
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I have other reasons too.

I didn't even know that Costello was supposed to be British. Is he?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 10-27-06 10:04 AM
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I have other reasons too.

Is this how you're planning to defend your dissertation? I'm unpersuaded.

And yes, he's supposed to be, according to mainstream Elvis Costello norms.


Posted by: tom | Link to this comment | 10-27-06 10:11 AM
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He's Irish, but born in London, no?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-27-06 10:17 AM
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Like those Pakistanis who happen to be born in London.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-27-06 10:21 AM
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A lot of his early songs have very British content: "Shipbuilding", "Oliver's Army", "I Don't Want to Go to Chelsea", etc.

Can't speak about his later stuff because I stopped listening when he began to suck.


Posted by: dagger aleph | Link to this comment | 10-27-06 10:24 AM
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Is this how you're planning to defend your dissertation? I'm unpersuaded.

When I defend my dissertation, it will be to people capable of giving and understanding reasons, and not merely emitting a stench of jargon in the direction of a problem.

Three out of four people at the bar last night agreed with me. The fourth likened the paper clip to a topographical map, reasoning on those grounds that the inner loop should be on top. That's respectable, though ultimately misguided.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 10-27-06 10:25 AM
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Isn't his name actually Declan McManus? Irish as Paddy's pig.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-27-06 10:25 AM
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Robert Wyatt's cover of "Shipbuilding" is fantastic.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 10-27-06 10:27 AM
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merely emitting a stench of jargon in the direction of a problem

Oh come on. How else am I supposed to play with you philosophical types?

Your friend's topographical analogy is a good one, although needlessly complicated. Things should be wider on their bottom than their top -- it's that simple. Until we start doing office work in microgravity, anyway.


Posted by: tom | Link to this comment | 10-27-06 10:31 AM
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Declan Patrick Aloysius MacManus. How many of Paddy's pigs is that. His dad played in dance bands in Britain, and he was born there.


Posted by: OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 10-27-06 10:32 AM
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Robert Wyatt's cover of "Shipbuilding".

I think your analysis, tom, depends on thinking that the paperclip has to support the stack of paper. But that's ludicrous. No one cares if there's a slight declivity in the direction of the corner opposite the paperclip (anyway it won't even reach that far, given that paper isn't very stiff).


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 10-27-06 10:33 AM
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Aloysius

I thought this was a Croatian thing. Irish people name their sons Aloysius too?


Posted by: dagger aleph | Link to this comment | 10-27-06 10:37 AM
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So ogged, are you going to say that actually, you find peace, love, and understanding funny, now?


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 10-27-06 10:37 AM
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Ogged was talking about Elvis Costello, not Nick Lowe.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 10-27-06 10:40 AM
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79: You're still approaching this from the perspective of functionality. I don't think there's a difference there — rather, it's a question of propriety and avoiding dissonance with the outside world. It's like balancing a beer bottle upside down: it's possible, and even if it's knocked over it probably won't break. But it still seems like a bad idea.


Posted by: tom | Link to this comment | 10-27-06 10:42 AM
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you find peace, love, and understanding funny, now?

I wonder if I could turn off my sense of humor for a week and post that way. But...it might be fun. Black holes, paradoxes, it'll never work.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-27-06 10:54 AM
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Having the outer, larger loop on top creates more confidence, presents a bolder face, and generally engenders an impression in the observer of the wholeness of the bound material. As with men who, in wearing bow ties, diffuse their energy bootlessly into their surroundings, we have an antecedent though defeasible reason to be suspicious of material boud inner-loop-on-top.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 10-27-06 10:55 AM
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Aloysius: "His full given name is often listed as Declan Patrick Aloysius MacManus; however, Aloysius was not one of his names at birth, being added years later, around the time of the release of "King Of America", when he toyed with the idea of changing his name back to Declan MacManus from his "stage" name, Elvis Costello."


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-27-06 11:11 AM
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Irish people name their sons Aloysius too?

Germans, too. A second-cousin of mine was named Aloysius (but every one knew him as "Stanley").


Posted by: Paul | Link to this comment | 10-27-06 11:12 AM
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but every one knew him as "Stanley"

Aloysius and his knab
(Who called himself Labs)
Were in the next room at the hoedown.
B-Wo stepped in, and grinning a grin
He said "Labsy boy, this is a showdown!"


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 10-27-06 11:18 AM
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But Labs, he was hott --
He drew first and shot --
And B-Wo collapsed in the corner.


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 10-27-06 12:57 PM
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82: It must be said the best version of P,L&U I ever heard was when Costello pulled Lowe on stage to duet it.


Posted by: OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 10-27-06 1:02 PM
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Also, I was hoping that Ogged, from the infinite depths of his intellect, was going to tell us what was so funny about them.


Posted by: OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 10-27-06 1:04 PM
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I stopped listening when he began to suck.

The sentence preceding this would indicate otherwise.


Posted by: I Can't Put Esquire After My Name | Link to this comment | 10-27-06 1:09 PM
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But Labs, he was hott --

He drew first and shot --

And B-Wo collapsed in the corner.

"was hott" s/b "was insensitive and thought only of his own pleasure"


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 10-27-06 3:03 PM
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But, that would not rhyme, silly Ben!

If you're interested in seeing a rad video, go watch this animation of the opening bars of Syd Barrett's "Thinking of You".


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 10-27-06 4:24 PM
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Er, ah, I mean "If It's In You".


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 10-27-06 4:24 PM
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85: A bolder face, perhaps, but a false boldness, ultimately unsupported by the smaller loop cowering behind the stack of paper. As with men who stuff their pants with socks.


Posted by: Magpie | Link to this comment | 10-27-06 4:26 PM
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There is a symmetrical paper clip for such as you.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 10-28-06 8:19 AM
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59 prompted limericks? Where's Joey D when you need him?


Posted by: standpipe b | Link to this comment | 10-29-06 8:20 AM
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The clear solution to stapler and paper clip problems is to not read anything printed on paper. Easy.


Posted by: dagger aleph | Link to this comment | 10-29-06 9:17 AM
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Cushla Mochree!


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 10-29-06 3:49 PM
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