I have a sneaking suspicion that by the time Americans are in their twenties, they already possess a firm understanding of how abstinence works.
And then there's this (from the article):
One advocacy group says using abstinence education for twentysomethings won't work. That's because more than 90 percent have already had sexual intercourse
So far as I can tell, the major difference between teenagers and twenty-somethings is that the twenty-somethings have moved past the question, 'Should I be having sex?' and have few remaining doubts. It might be a function of the slutty queer and queer-friendly people I hang out with. But, still, it seems like what people my age miss in terms of sheer hormonal overflow, we make up with knowledge of mutual seduction techniques and lack of inhibitions.
This month I'm personally sponsoring an abstinence-only campaign for males aged 41-41. Think I can get some grant money?
It's obviously a morale boosting program for people who can't get laid- they can tell themselves they're just being good citizens. However, I'm surprised Republicans would spend money on a program designed just to make people feel better about themselves.
It's obviously a morale boosting program for people who can't get laid- they can tell themselves they're just being good citizens.
It doesn't seem to be working...
Ogged should apply. His haircut has promise.
Awesome. Now when I have sex, it's an act of political protest.
I'm actually surprised that it took them less than a week to come up with something more laughable than the Giant Illegal-Defeating Fence.
No, no the silly jokes are supposed to be on April 1st, not at Hallowe'en.
But then, this is the gummint that gave us W. David Hagar and the miracle Bible cure for cramps.
What about the 30-somethings? The 40-somethings? The 50-somethings? What about us? Are we supposed to just go around having sex?
7: Then try a little civil disobedience.
10: But even if that fence did work, certainly the abstinence-only campaigns will be conducted in an English-only setting, meaning the Mexicans are just gonna keep right on bumping uglies, while the Loins of European Descent remain idle and unproductive. The unintnetional consequences the country's demographic make-up have clearly gone unconsidered by the wingnuts.
15: You should try posting that on Free Republic and watch everyone's heads explode.
14: I've been trying, but that's not working either.
16: I should preview for typos, too. Whoops.
15: You mean pasty folk need to start getting all sexed up lest taco-eating Mexicans come across, penetrate our borders, and get all the sexiness for themselves? There's an at-the-mineshaft gap??
17- They have pills for that now, see your doctor.
Does anyone seriously worry, as a matter of public health or concern, that someone in their mid-twenties will get pregnant?
I mean, really, what I'm going to fail to graduate from college because the pregnancy will launch me back in time? If I have a lot of sex, can I go back and get a do-over on high school?
Isn't 19 like the primary argument of some major white guy pundit whose name I can't be bothered to remember, but who's always on about how professional (white) women need to quit their jobs and breed?
20: I suspect those kinds of pills are more readily available from a vet.
Some background on Assistant Secretary Wade Horn, assistant secretary for the Administration for Children and Families.
One day I will learn to cut and paste cut and paste and cut once more.
21: It's public *morality*. Plus, those 20-something single girls have the most abortions. Plus they all end up on welfare, the money-grubbing sluts.
At 27, I've decided. Ima be a born-again virgin. It will totally rock. Then, after this Wednesday, when I have a date, I will get all born again again. The angels will have a party in my name every few days or so, and I will receive government funds each time I get re-educated into virginity.
They know it will work because they tested it on Ogged first.
THE GOVERNMENT WILL GIVE US ALL FREE TiVOS.
Ahem.
27: I will receive government funds each time I get re-educated into virginity.
Oooh, let's get government funding for a study! I'm willing to write the grant proposal.
Obtaining research grants yearly was my goal in life until I realised that, having foolishly given up a hard science major for litrachur, I'd probably have to spend it in the oubliette sections of elderly university libraries, poring over ancient texts and abstaining from human contact except for the occasional illustrative monk. [Not that I'm opposed to the former in theory, but it wreaks havoc with my allergies.]
30 -- what is "the former" referring to?
31: It's "poring over ancient texts". I have no particular objection to human contact. At times, I even seek it, in a D-fun kind of way that doesn't exceed the number of people I can seat at dinner.
Of course, tomorrow, when my tiny town [1.9 square miles] is overrun with 400,000 or so costumed revelers, I shall be hiding under the bed, eating leftover Samhain candy and trying to avoid incomprehensible discussions in Norwegian with the souls of my ancestors.
I thought you lived in Los Angeles?
I live in the independent country, er, city of West Hollywood. We are not part of the city of Los Angeles; we are a small, separately incorporated city nestled into the right elbow of Beverly Hills. And we are frequently mis-identified as "Hollywood", which is a part of Los Angeles. The Sunset Strip, all those bars that Paris Hilton is carried out of blind drunk, most of those lovely Oscar parties, and the death-sites of River Phoenix and John Belushi: All West Hollywood. [Well, I take back the Paris Hilton thing; apparently, she is capable of getting blind drunk in Beverly Hills as well.]
Emerson should get federal funding for his "no relationships" campaign.
35: Thanks, Apo. ogged, as a heathen, refuses to believe. Redemption isn't a part of the Muslim faith.
Bad hands are like bad backs: there's no fixing 'em. I do believe in love, however, so when you gay marry Kwame, I'll be there.
38: I don't think that's true. When someone refers to a "bad back," I understand what he's talking about: a physical ill that can't be cured. Absent severe injury, which the Wizards and then the Lakers would have known about, what could "bad hands" mean? After all, we know he's physically able to catch the ball. His hands aren't so small that it should effect his ability; that's another characteristic the relevant teams would have recognized prior to acquiring Kwame.
It seems to me that there should be abstinence testers to check and see how well these abstinence programs really work. "Abstinent? Oh, I really admire that.... it makes you hot!! I've read that only people who "save it" can really experience how exciting sex can be. Have you thought of working as a model, BYW?"
Also, Marc Stein is an unbelievable jackass, Chris Mannix is insane, and Scoop Jackson is an embarrassment to humanity.
For all your born-again female virgins: does it grow back?
#42 - apparently yes, but then you get all sad and hairy and start raising Dobermans instead.
Oh, and:
THE GOVERNMENT WILL GIVE US ALL FREE TiVOS.
Ahem.
No, no, no: the Government will give us all Free Plasma flat-screens. And Ipod Nanos.
Mind you, the rate these guys are fratxing up the economy, perhaps shares in Chinese manufacturing would be better.
I don't think jrochest got the tivo joke. I'd enlighten him/her, if it weren't for the googley hoohole.