But at least you have a steady job, apo.
Otherwise I wouldn't be able to pay the cable bill and I'd lose his respect altogether.
And hockey equipment doesn't buy itself, you know.
That's awesome.
I just had parent teacher conference night, and in the pictures my nine year old drew of us on vacation in Glacier, everyone is smiling but me. And not only am I not smiling, I look full on angry. Her explanation is that I don't smile in pictures, which is largely true. But meanwhile her teacher probably thinks I'm a sociopath.
How little is this person who says things like, "Yeah. Less than desirable."?
At least yours hasn't said, when commenting on dinner with my ex-husband: "When my dad and I are in a room, there's one grown-up and it isn't my dad."
That's hilarious. But the last sentence makes it sound like it was written to buck up someone else, so maybe he's just a very nice kid, willing to take a hit to make someone feel better.
Sell him to the gypsies (this is probably illegal where you are, but I would be surprised if the Economist blog doesn't publish an article explaining why it ought to be legalised some time soon).
I think your kid has a writing future in him, dude. Teh awesome.
There's probably a post somewhere that I've missed, with 500+ comments, explaining your fascination with dead armadillos. They are armadillos?
There's probably a post somewhere that I've missed, with 500+ comments, explaining your fascination with dead armadillos. They are armadillos?
Fucking love it - you must be so proud. That "less than desirable" is genius.
Yes, yes. But what does he have to say about the ice hockey?
the weird thing is that it reads like a blog post. It has many writing-mannerisms that have become prominent in blogging. (previous commenters have picked up on them, e.g. "yeah. less than desirable." or "So, I guess alright". Short, staccato sentences. Main verbs elided.)
This is a very distinctive vocal register--I tend to blog in this voice (merely by imitation), but I certainly don't publish books in this voice, and I certainly don't talk in it.
But maybe people somewhere do? E.g. around where your kid is growing up?
16 -- I think it's an age thing -- my younger sister (older than Apostropher's child by more than ten years, but still) talks with the blog-posting mannerisms.
Yesterday, I was talking to some bechilded cousins, who were talking about kids and their greed for toys. I decided to lay out my own plans lock my future children up and depriving them of creature comforts. One of them found it funny, the other stopped talking to me. I thought I had scared her, but maybe she was just afraid of temptation.
18: When the Barbarian Princess was about ten and complaining about living with a "less than desirable" family, I half-way convinced her she was the legitimate ruler of a troubled country from which we had fled. As the Wazir, it was my duty to keep her safe until she could reclaim her title, and that required us to blend in with those around us so that was why she couldn't live in the style she thought was hers by right. She still sometimes refers to me as "The Waz" 2.5 decades later.
10: I checked into the Gypsy market when each of the kids hit the the terrible twos. We could have gotten around $40K for the B.P, less for the boy. The family catch-phrase was "Where are the Gypsies when you need them?"
Bottom line: Don't bother explaining anything about children to anyone who wearing rose-colored glasses. They tend to romanticize the little beasts.
My dad never told us we were princesses in disguise. When we complained about our terrible lot in life, he said we were born to a long line of Russian peasants, and toil and misery was our family heritage. He also said that he would put us out for the wolves if we kept complaining. He has also lived in lifelong fear of Cossacks.
Cossacks have an un-deserved bad rep. I inherited a great shade of blue eyes during one of their fun-filled rape & pillage festivals.
I just told my son I'd make him into soup, comparing it to the leftover turkey soup my mother made, with the entire turkey carcass submerged in the soup.
Apparently when Apo whips out his wonderful penis for others to admire, it doesn't have the traumatizing effect we've been led to expect it would have. "Less than desirable" -- it doesn't seem that there are deep-lying problems which need to be resolved.
I told my brother and our neighbour that if they didn't behave I'd put them in the bin. They were about 3 and 5 at the time.
Then, I actually did it. It didn't really have the desired effect -- as I closed the lid [it was a big refuse bin] they were laughing hysterically.
Hmmm. I have blue eyes, of uncertain origin.
It all comes down to ancient history as detailed with total accuracy in the 1958 movie "The Vikings". They really knew how to party in the good old days-- even better than the Iranians in L.A. in 2006.
Hmm, I had always assumed that Cossack was just an antiquated spelling of Kazakh. This page shows me otherwise, which only further confirms my ignorance of the region.
Your son sounds just fine, apo - you must be proud of him. My son loves hockey too and displays a similar level of guileless perceptiveness and general wise-guy-dom.
Cossack and Kazakh are cognate, like Dutch and Deutsch. They can still fight each other.
26 - Maybe, if I weren't my Dad's clone. I just asked him where my light eyes came from; his exact words were "Some Cossack.".
That'll teach you to try to dictate someone's content.
Humorless PC girl feels compelled to point out that the gyspys are too poor to really be in the market for healthy American children nowadays, however smartmouthed.
31: Oh, please! Do you really think the hidden tribes of rich American Gypsies spill all to NYTimes reporters? Who do you think is the real power behind the ZOG puppets?
I see PC girl is fine with referring to the noble Rom as "gypsies".
Actually, normally I don't, but I was trying not to be *too* superior.
Disneyland was tiring and reasonably fun and I'm amused that PK, who three years ago wasn't frightened by the pirates or the haunted house, is now apparently old enough to imagine Terrible Things and hated them both. OTOH, he absolutely adored the teacups, especially the part where the first ride made grandma and papa too sick to do it again, so mama had to be the sacrificial lamb for ride #2.
Also, god help me, but I did buy myself a sweater that says "grumpy."
The haunted house and pirates oughta show the little bastard. "Ha! That was FUN! Hahahaha! FUN!!!!"
Actually it made me feel like a shmuck for being one of those annoying grownups who's all "let's do what *I* want to do!" in Disneyland.
I'm feeling more confident these days steering Caroline and Joey toward kids activities that *I* want to do but are still legitimate kids activities. I mean, they have to learn compromise eventually, right?
Also, they are getting more to the age where there are really cool kids activities.
B: Fuck him if he can't take a joke. This is part of the maturation process.
39: Plus it's way better than letting them talk you into yet another incredibly boring game of Candyland.