So she's not neurotic enough to read over her profile seventeen times before posting it. That's a good thing!
Yeah, going out with people who can't proofread their profiles is not a good idea. I tried to be open-minded about that once and it was a huge failure. I made it 30 minutes into the date before I rushed out into traffic.
Also, "word-weaver"? Flashing red light.
The Australian accent might help, though.
If I could be anywhere right now
18
Is this like saying the meaning of life is 42?
I guess she might mean age 18 (an odd enough wish on its own), but that's not really a place.
I said there was stuff to niggle at, people. Open your minds!
4: Perhaps she could help him cross the highways of fantasy.
I'm looking for someone Agilent but non-mountaingoatinous.
Wait, what happens if you find a girl for AK? Do you write the message, all Cyranoesque, or does he? Do you send flowers to both their houses with a note saying "A certain mysterious someone wants to meet you"?
No no, Adam's on his own past the finding.
Wait, what happens if you find a girl for AK?
You direct her to me, obvs.
Something else to niggle at: "Realizations of how intangible security isellipsisellipsisellipsis". Ellipses: warning!
"someone Agilent?"
You mean, like Dar/lene Sol/omon?
5- Right, she's being creative. It's a good answer. I hate the people who say backpacking in Europe. Including me, five years ago and, uh, several weeks ago in a publically-chronicled blind date. Gah.
Since when do they do the rating thing? Voted 8.00/10..., was that you, Ogged?
You mean, like Dar/lene Sol/omon?
A Lucent observation, arthegall.
Hmm, possibly artsy to the point of being annoying, but hard to tell from a profile. But artsy often also means "puts out". And an artsy, 5'9, dance trained, and fits in skinny jeans just might mean "comfortable hanging out in my apartment scantily clad, and a great screw too."
Go for it dude.
She looks constipated in the picture. Which I guess is good for Kotsko....
Exploring Nerve in my area for the first time in aaaages. Immediately find person who describes themselves as being like an engima, and in the previous section I see the one word that describes her is engima.
I'm aghast that I contemplated for at least three seconds that engima was some sort of reference I didn't get.
Unfogged comment threads require a Nimblegen wit.
(Also, inter-caps are teh l4me.)
22: I thought she kinda looked like a bitch, which I can respect. At least she's not all, "Here's a picture of me dressed for prom, covered in flowers and beaming virginally!"
Here's a probably bad strategy for writing personals: lie like a dog. I had one of those nerve personals (through the onion, actually) in which, in answer to the "celebrity I resemble most" question, I likened myself to Lance Armstrong and Cu Chulainn.
23: She means she's a codebreaker.
Why is Adam's family name googleproofed in the post title? You do know that he posts here as "Adam Kotsko", right?
Though I would never say anything so crass as "puts out," once again, gswift reads my mind. You should hear yourselves, you nerdmongers! Here we have a mostly literate dancer chick who doesn't seem like she'll be cowed by Kots/ko's grousin' and larnin'. These are good things!
Why is Adam's family name googleproofed in the post title?
w-lfs-n, you shriveled nutsack, it's so that when she inevitably googles him after he contacts her, she'll be unlikely to come across this post.
Kotsko's name is all over the internet. That would be baffling in a pre-date Googling experience, don't you think? I mean, imagine what a Googling w-lfs-n-dater must think.
I'm more than just my nutsack, ogged. Have some respect.
I'm really enjoying watching Ogged be the voice in favor of spontaneity, joyful openness, and erotic possibility.
(Seriously, folks, it's a profile, not the rest of his life. Plus: Good dates=happier Adam; bad dates = better blogging. We can't lose.)
And Ogged? Why don't you look for Teo, too, since you're on such a roll?
It looks as if there were cuter pictures that she could have used for her profile default. Why is she burying the lede?
In a strange turn of events, ogged is morphing into Megan.
Why don't you look for Teo, too
Mainly because I haven't met him.
35 is totally right. I wondered the same thing.
What's the estimate of how many guys she hears from on a daily basis through this profile? Manageable enough that Kotsko wouldn't have to do something bizarre and creepy to stand out from the crowd?
35: It's all about misdirection. You don't want too cute of a main pic, as a lady.
I once googled one of my Nerve dates and found that the NY Observer had a whole article about what a miserable failure he was at meeting and dating women, despite being a fairly well-known and successful creative type. It took me about 20 minutes on the phone with him to realize I would not be able to tolerate that much time in his company without stabbing him in the eye with a dinner knife. Googling didn't alone ruin his chances, but I'm glad I know I wasn't just being harsh.
He also doesn't know where I live.
IP addresses, my dear boy.
Anyway, online dating is not a very popular activity 'round these parts.
Pecan pie, y'all. It's officially Thanksgiving.
48: It's about time.
Mmm, delicious.
I didn't get any pecan pie for Thanksgiving this year, which means that I may have to learn how to make it.
You should hear yourselves, you nerdmongers! Here we have a mostly literate dancer chick who doesn't seem like she'll be cowed by Kots/ko's grousin' and larnin'.
And a love of Arrested Development sounds promising. A good ass and a sense of humor? There's possibilities here.
I don't like pecan pie, but I love walnut pie. I have a recipe that doesn't use corn syrup, if you want it.
Would you like a recipe? I know one that'll be the archstone in your baking repertoire.
Mine is better than w-lfs-n's. Pick me!!
person who describes themselves as being like an engima
On a quick read, I wondered who would describe herself as being like angina and what that would mean. Soothed by the regular application of flannel?
Megan,
I am interested in this "walnut pie" concept. If you let me in on your recipe, I would be appreciative. I believe that in one of Marcella Hazan's books she has a (pecan or walnut) and pine nut (pie or tart) recipe, which also sounds interesting.
I remain your humble servant,
53: I'd appreciate your pecan pie recipe, Ben. I have a couple, but I'm not fully satisfied by either.
My recipe is actually not mine, but that of a former classmate who now works at a consulting firm.
Oo, another bake-off challenge. I've never had walnut pie, but I bet I'd like it. Corn syrup is satanic, so I'd like to avoid it if possible. If you both were to post receipes, then I could choose...
On a quick read, I wondered who would describe herself as being like angina and what that would mean. Soothed by the regular application of flannel?
Uh, flannel soothes heart conditions?
Email it to me anyway? Pretty please?
Her music choices definitely throw up a couple warning flags of intolerable self-conscious artiness. Or they could be genuine good taste that just happens to align with indie opinion. If she were 10 years younger, she'd almost certainly be one of the girls that I spot at a concert and feel warm and fuzzy inside because they're so adorable.
I say Adam should go for it.
51: The goodness of ass isn't clear, unless dancing alone establishes the fact. Not that it's at all relevant.
flannel soothes heart conditions?
That might be some other disease I read about in Agatha Christie novels.
"theatrical if I'm feelin' "? Oh Christ. That plus Origen? Oh Christ.
I mean, go for it, and blog the screaming disaster.
56 - As far as I can tell, you just substitute walnuts for pecans in a pecan pie recipe. I like the flavor of walnuts better though; pecans are too rich. Do you specificallly want the recipe without corn syrup?
Since I'm posting this in comments, you don't get to see that the document is titled "Archstone Default Word Document". I paste it in below verbatim; it's for chocolate pecan but I always omit the chocolate. A couple more notes:
1. It calls for corn syrup but you can probably use molasses, Try It and See! I was actually at the store buying Sweetening Agents today but I decided that since in the past when using molassesy recipes I've sometimes had weird setting problems I'd try it later. (The molassesy recipe I've used in the past is the one in James Beard's American Cookery, which, when it works, is also very good.)
2. You'll note that it doesn't tell you how hot the oven should be. I have had success at 350F.
3. Don't use a pre-made crust (but you wouldn't have anyway).
4. I usually replace the vanilla with either bourbon or maraschino liqueur (tastes like dusty cherries).
Conor's Fudge Butter Pecan Pie
Filling Ingredients
1/2 cup firmly packed brown sugar
1 cup light corn syrup
3 eggs
2 tablespoons butter
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 (4-ounce) package (1 cup) chopped pecans
1 (8-ounce) package pecan halves
(1 cup Semi-Sweet morsels)
(1 stick German chocolate)
I use a pre-made pie crust from the store. Pillsbury has just come out with a rolled-up pie crust that I find works really well. Crimp the edges of the crust (not totally necessary but adds to the presentation).
Combine corn syrup, brown sugar, eggs, butter, vanilla and salt in small bowl. Beat at medium speed, scraping bowl often, until well mixed. Stir in pecans by hand.
Melt German chocolate (I do it in the Microwave, but you can only do it for 7-10 seconds at a time because it burns quickly, stir constantly); pour melted German chocolate into pie crust spread evenly across bottom, allow to cool and harden slightly.
Pour filling into crust, adding ½ cup-chocolate chips after halfway through and other ½ cup-chocolate chips after all of filling is in. Add pecan halves on top of filling in concentric circles, presentation is important.
Melt an additional small amount of butter and brush on pie crust before baking and 30 minutes into baking (this prevents pie crust from burning too much. (beaten egg whites have the same effect and are a little better for you).
Bake for 50 to 55 minutes until center is set (check with toothpick), let stand for roughly 1 hour (allows pie to set up).
Being happily married since twenty,* I've never even considered the effect of Google on dating. Damn, the non-anonymous types have it hard. If nothing else, your prospective mate'll know you spend an inordinate amount of time online.
*Which was eight years ago, before Google Became Lord.
The goodness of ass isn't clear, unless dancing alone establishes the fact.
I'd say a couple factors favor the odds of a good ass here. "Dance trained" implies years of dance lessons, and favorite clothing is "skinny jeans." To me this says the ass is likely small but muscular. Good times.
51: I seem to recall having a nightmare experience with a dancer (ballet), but I can't place it, so maybe I'm making it up. In any case, there's more to life than a nice ass.
S.'s pecan pie is the absolute tops.
there's more to life than a nice ass
So, so sad.
70 - I'll send it to your email account, hon, lest we clutter Adam's personal ad thread with recipes.
74: then why doesn't she post it?
And damn I just heard the most vicious car accident. Now all I hear are multiple sirens and people screaming. I mean screaming. (And I'm typing from my bedroom, which is supposed to be a haven from such things.)
55 has an angenda.
I don't get it.
Great, start 'em young.
To follow up on Cala's 67, since I'm also getting some run away! vibes from this girl, she mentions 1) the word "zine" in her ad, and 2) that she's "dance-trained." What the fuck does that mean, "dance-trained"? She took ballet for a couple of years when she was a a preteen? She's not actively doing dance now, so... is she looking for a salsa partner? no?
70 - I'll send it to your email account, hon, lest we clutter Adam's personal ad thread with recipes.
I was just following Jackmormon's desires. I'll have no implicit remonstration from you!
O/T, obviously. But yes, classically-trained, currently-employed dancer = thin and athletic. (Not a judgment, just a fact. A sad, sad fact.)
Dance-trained and liking skinny jeans probably equals obsessed with weight. (Unless she's currently dancing, the ass has probably faded.)
Seriously. Am I the only one that thinks a date with Miss Theatrical would be a chore?
80: maybe she means she has a hot ass.
So, so sad.
It sure is. I hope if I ever reach this point in my life I hope someobody will do the right thing and put me down.
Maybe square-dancing. Unite with 45 = long distance joy?
84: Of course she does. If she didn't, she couldn't do that creepy gliding thing formally-trained dancers do.
Ballet dancers do not have great butts. They tend to have thin legs, but you only get a good butt if you jump a lot, and build muscle mass, but that means you put on a few pounds.
If she's dancing ballroom, maybe. But still. You can find plenty of hotter asses that don't have owners that use the word 'zine.'
83: That's reading a lot into it, Cala.
That pie looks very yummy, Ben; thanks for posting it.
I'll have no implicit remonstration from you!
Would you prefer explicit remonstration from me about talking to the pretty girl in your class or answering an ad that Ogged picks out for you? I could provide that.
I vote that Megan posts the walnut pie recipe here, for all to enjoy.
Seriously. Am I the only one that thinks a date with Miss Theatrical would be a chore?
Allow me to point out that if she's really as bad as all that, the fact that Adam would likely never see her again means that, once he came to the bad as all that realization, he could spend the rest of the date in a spirit of not caring, idly and snarkily needling her and being amused to himself.
I mean, if someone's really terrible, then in this situation, isn't that basically just material? And not only that, but material you can begin working on in real time? Now, a bad date with someone with whom you have mutual acquaintances, or whom you interact in some regular fashion, or whatever, that would be bad. Or a date that was bad but not really beyond the pale.
89: Not really. It's hard for an average thirty-year old to fit into skinny jeans, let alone like them.
The word "ballet" does not appear in the profile, haters. And I'm sure "dance-trained" just means "trained dancer." So it turns out that the women of Unfogged are absolutely committed to keeping Adam from ever enjoying the company of a woman. Why?
75: I was obliquely referring to her rack, which I can't really make out.
I mean, if someone's really terrible, then in this situation, isn't that basically just material?
Yes, but then two years later you find yourself in a seminar with her and she's apparently not as vapid as you thought and the whole department turns against you...as happened to a friend of mine. Just saying, it never hurts to be a gentleman, even if it ain't much fun.
I used to square-dance, and even performed occasionally. However, I was in third grade at the time, so my skills have likely withered.
Guys, she's not a professionally employed dancer. I seriously doubt she's even taking classes right now. I'm tending toward Cala's 83, but, hey, don't let me get too negative in a thread about pie.
Wow, fast moving comments. 99-->86, mostly.
93: I wasn't arguing that it wasn't easier than going on a date with a friend of a friend and having a hideous experience. Just that I'm not seeing the attraction of what little I know of this person to what little I know of Adam. And while it's not the end of the world, surely this isn't the only profile up on the Interwebs.
don't let me get too negative in a thread about pie.
It's also a thread about ass. As for ass building in ballet, I submit the following moves must have some value.
http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/40793000/jpg/_40793995_darcey203.jpg
http://www.rogerspictures.com/Images/Pictures/main2.jpg
One of the other pics (that I initially thought was the buried lede from faraway but changed my mind) reveals her to be quite skinny, but I don't get ana vibe, really.
All this crap aside, she's cute and an intellectual and obviously available, so an inclined fellow should be on this right now before she hears about this thread, because there's like 2 degrees of separation between this person and this blog, guaranteed.
Look, if she were a dancer, she'd say, 'professional dancer' or 'salsa instructor' or whatever. 'Dance-trained' is saying 'um, not exactly athletic now, but I used to be!' Bit like saying 'former high school letter winner.' 'Quarterback trained.'
Plus, I'm surprised that people are making such a big deal about her use of the word "zine" while ignoring that she used it while approving of VICE Magazine
The VICE dos and don'ts are worthwhile.
while ignoring that she used it while approving of VICE Magazine
Exactly. There's potential here.
Ben, you would get your ass kicked in the South for organizing your pecans in concentric circles.
106: What's really funny is that we're all pretending she won't immediately delete Kotsko's (or most other guys') emails.
An ex-boyfriend of mine made a pecan pie in his roach-infested NOLA apartment once and I was so horrified that I would bite into something thinking it was a pecan and find out later it was a roach.
110: As you'll note, I was only following the instructions of the recipe (and only doing so because I had witnessed Conor's pies made according to that scheme and remarked on their appearance). Now, you might think, so what? I'm still arranging them in concentric circles. But! Conor himself is from Houston! Plus there's chopped-up pecans in the filling.
Damn you, SCMT! Your grasp on reality has no place here in internet dating land!
I have the Vice Do's and Don'ts book, only intermittently funny, but when it is it's extremely so.
Perhaps, but Houston is most definitely a Southern city. I can't speak for Conor's authenticity, though.
I would have made the joke in 79 if teo hadn't.
But surely an email from a violent young theologian would intrigue most women?
Well, that's a start at least. Stand out from the crowd, and all that.
115: AWB is absolutely correct. Texas is a whole 'nother country, not part of the South at all.
He should riff on "word-weaver" if at all possible.
Not sure if it's possible w/o fucking up, though.
108: And as for the usefulness of Vice's Dos and Don'ts, I would beg to differ (though I can't argue with these words of wisdom).
Actually, what's really annoying me is how at least half of the Dos are just variations on "Yeah, it's kind of ordinary/annoying/ugly, but she's hot so it's ok.")
The South starts in central Iowa, as I've explained.
It's true that many of the Dos suck. But sometimes they're awesome.
Of course they aren't useful.
My coffee date was kind of akward. I had some tea. When the guy mentioned that he was taking on a second job sellign real estate, because his j ob in higher ed wasn't quite enough, I didn't want to be greedy.
I really had to work to come up with conversation topics. It appears that he thought that it was just great, because he sent me an e-mail offering to cook me a stir-fry sometime. (We talked a bit about cooking.) It had a horrid emoticon in it. [;)]. He plays on a sports team with friends of mine. Crap. Now I need to come up with something to say.
No, the DOs and DONTs aren't useful. But the funny ones are very funny. I like that he picks many DOs for their authenticity instead of straight-up hotness.
"akward" s/b "awkward." Obviously.
In retrospect, I can see that 66 was basically a "Family Circus" joke, but with extra crotch. I should have been ashamed.
A few phrases that haven't been pored over yet, with my suggestions:
"architecture and history-buff" means "loves to shop for furniture, both old and new"
"conversator of intangible concepts" means "experiments with obscure drugs while sitting in a circle with people comparing their experiences"
"fashion-lover" means "loves to shop for clothes, and not vintage clothes, new clothes"
"dance-offin'-explorer" is very unclear. I'm not sure what the word dance-offin' means. It could mean that she dances often, or that she engages in dance-offs. Either way, "explorer" indicates that she likes to dance in new and unfamiliar environments full of men who are extremely good dancers.
I like her response to "If I was given a million dollars" and "The sports I play, and the sports I watch", but it doesn't outweigh all these warning signs. Also, Happy Endings was a terrible movie.
When the guy mentioned that he was taking on a second job selling real estate, because his job in higher ed wasn't quite enough...
There's nothing wrong with a back-up career in real estate. Obviously, there is...but I don't need people to remind me of that.
It had a horrid emoticon in it. [;)]. He plays on a sports team with friends of mine. Crap. Now I need to come up with something to say.
What the hell does that even mean? Stir fry with a wink? Is that supposed to be suggestive in some way? Ew.
Cryptic Ned's comment means "I am a misogynist".
I have a feeling there is no one good enough for Kotsko. Can we find a single profile we wouldn't find hideous after more than a moment's reflection?
The front page of Yahoo has has a link to online dating tips.
http://personals.yahoo.com/static/singles-life_start-conversation
There's some real genius in there. "Icebreakers can be tough at first, but I find it helpful to break the ice by commenting about something they have written in their profile." Fantastic. I'd better write that down.
135 - just being a sort of devil's advocate. Also, I've never seen one of these profiles that didn't contain a few things that worried me, leading of course to those being the few things that were constantly on my mind ("Is that really so bad? I'm sure it won't come up too often...But how can I forget such très gauche taste?") while taking for granted all the positive attributes.
Also, I've never considered the idea of using these sites, since nobody finds me likeable until they've known me as part of a social group for several months, because I say everything in a monotonous deadpan that is neither sarcastic nor earnest.
Actually, what's really annoying me is how at least half of the Dos are just variations on "Yeah, it's kind of ordinary/annoying/ugly, but she's hot so it's ok."
I think this is both true of fashion generally, and this thread. ('No, seriously, she must be cool.') Half of the ridiculous fashions we convince ourselves we should wear are only attractive because of the attractiveness of the model, or the artistry of the shot.
In other news, I cannot sleep because I cannot stop sneezing.
137: The best one I got was from a performance artist who sent me an email full of really repulsive phallic-yonic imagery (mostly describing slow-motion vehicular accidents involving a truck bearing daikon radishes and a truck of canned peaches) with attachments of what he described as "cute pictures of me!!!" that were clearly of him in absurd robotic headgear with eyeballs sticking out on stalks. As I recall, the picture on his Nerve profile was nude, from the neck down, with his legs crossed in the gay/European way.
Reader, I had sex with him.
So the Mineshaft lurkers are really nosy and email-happy, aren't they? (Yes, I mean you...just like I told you I would after your gracious acceptance.)
With whom doesn't AWB have sex?
This is a totally nonjudgmental question. I'm curious now.
I want to stop sneezing. I've taken two Benadryl and I can't remember if I took a synthetic opiate Happy Pill. I think I'm becoming allergic to my cat.
143: I'm very picky. It's just that my rejection-threshhold is on a boring/not-boring scale, rather than on whatever scale other ladies use.
There you go Adam, just ramp up your boringness to absolutely insane levels and you're in the game with at least one lady.
There's nothing wrong with that young women. It's a date, not a 2-man raft voyage to Fiji. Jesus, people.
137: I'm guessing they didn't choose those members for their brains, huh?
And Ben, I've mentioned on this thread TWO guys I met from blind-dating whom I didn't fuck. TWO.
I'm very picky. It's just that my rejection-threshhold is on a boring/not-boring scale
Man, no wonder you meet a lot of freaks.
150 comments, and no one has thought to mention that "dancing" can mean "stripping"? You should all be ashamed of yourselves.
Also, where's that walnut pie recipe? Come on, people.
128: One real advantage of out-of-the-blue dates (as against friend set you up dates) is that if it doesn't go well you can just drop it.
The worst is being set up by a good friend with someone totally inappropriate --- and then wondering what it is your friend actually thinks you're like.
139: I'm tired of hotties getting a free ride on the coolness train. It's time we started using our rationalization in the opposite direction and tried to convince ourselves that all those well-dressed people or those with good taste out there are actually incredibly hot as well.
I'm starting to move in this direction by developing mini-crushes on any girl who seems to genuinely like Man Man.
Perhaps because I've never heard the two in concert before, but "walnut pie" just sounds dirty, dirty, dirty.
The question in 143 is clearly in the simple present tense, not the past or perfect. This indicates a question about AWB's habitual behaviors, rather than a question about events that have happened in the past. I think the answer is "boring guys" rather than "two guys from blind dates, plus teo".
156: I'm even a little uncomfortable just going out with someone vaguely associated with my friend group. The guy I'm seeing now hangs out with some of the people my friends hang out with, and I feel like talking about any of the private details of our relationship would create unnecessary gossip.
Also, where's that walnut pie recipe? Come on, people.
Megan emailed me. Take it up with her.
159: Well, then the answer is that, when I stopped being a hardcore Christian at 17, I had to replace my psychovirginal sexual ethics with something, and "I will not sleep with anyone who won't make a really good anecdote one day" was as good as any. It kept me out of trouble, too, for a very long time. I have, over the past few years, developed additional requirements like, "Nice to me" and "Funny."
156: I hear you. It's difficult in a new city though friend group and potential dating aren't very well defined.
Also, where's that walnut pie recipe? Come on, people.
OK. Here's what I sent Ben:
Hey hon,
Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
1 cup light brown sugar (I use dark brown sugar)
1/4 cup white sugar (I use turbinado or unprocessed cane sugar, because I am a hippy)
1/2 cup butter
2 eggs (which I buy from a co-worker who raises chickens, because I am a hippy)
1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract (I've changed that to a quarter cup of rum, with tasty results)
1 cup chopped nuts.
Special bonus extra! Easy pie crust recipe:
1 stick butter
1 1/3 cup flour
salt and sugar to taste
mix the butter into the flour until it has the texture of breadcrumbs
add a little cold water, until the mixture clumps enough to roll
I like this crust recipe for two things. It is easy to remember the quantities of one stick butter and 1 1/3 cup flour, and it makes more crust than necessary for a nine-inch pie dish, so you don't have to worry about stretching it to cover or you can use the excess for trimmings.
*************
HEY! It is good I looked at that again, 'cause I forgot the instructions. Ben, sorry 'bout that. Filling instructions:
In a large bowl, beat eggs until foamy, then stir in melted butter. Stir in the brown sugar, white sugar and the flour. Last add the milk, vanilla and nuts.
Pour into an unbaked 9 inch pie shell. Bake in pre-heated oven for 10 minutes at 400 degrees, then reduce temperature to 350 degrees and bake for 30-40 minutes, or until done.
*************
I also asked Ben about the girl from his classes, and he confessed that he hasn't talked to her recently. Ben, don't pine for her indefinitely. Hit on her already.
I also asked Ben about the girl from his classes, and he confessed that he hasn't talked to her recently.
Remember the sanctity of off-blog communications, people.
157 gets it exactly right - I've never understood that way of thinking. The same impulse that leads us to say "Whichever credit card advertises the most must be shoddy, because otherwise they wouldn't need to advertise so much" should lead us to say "The hottest person in this room is most likely to be deficient in other qualities, because s/he has not needed to cultivate anything other than hotness".
There's no free lunch, people. If Milton Friedman and Ayn Rand have taught us anything, it's that strapping, good-looking men aren't actually brilliant, heroic visionaries with amazing sexual stamina.
Thanks, you rule. But shouldn't 'hippy' be 'hippie'?
Also, OT, this here turkey pot pie is fabulous. Fabulous, I tell you.
167: what ever. Not everyone is a freak like you, o-face.
If Milton Friedman and Ayn Rand have taught us anything, it's that strapping, good-looking men aren't actually brilliant, heroic visionaries with amazing sexual stamina.
Where did Rand say that? I just remember lots of strapping, good-looking, brilliant, heroic men making long speeches and raping people.
strapping, good-looking men aren't actually brilliant, heroic visionaries with amazing sexual stamina.
No one believes me when I say this. I'll start saying it louder, I guess.
167 - My bad. We also talked a little about raising chickens.
174: It's so true though. For a little while there I was actively anti-hot, at least at the extremes. I'm mostly cured of that* but still has a knee-jerk reaction sometimes.
[*] by meeting a few excellent people who happened to be hot, and restoring my faith that it was possible.
169 to 166, obvs. Also, on closer inspection of the recipe, I would add the following: for making this kind of crust, where you want to cut, rather than knead, the butter into the flour, a pastry cutter comes in handy. Also, it's best if everything is really cold -- mixing in a thick ceramic bowl kept in the freezer for a half-hour or so beforehand helps. Finally, whole wheat pastry flour is still whole wheat flour, and smells and tastes of hippies; (unbleached) white pastry flour is preferable.
Now that I am back from Thanksgiving travel, I would like to report that I am thankful for my own quiet home, where I can actually get work done. Also for cryptic crosswords and the absence of tiny dogs (Snarkout's parents have the littlest dog I have ever met and it kind of freaked me out). Also, I have now encountered Meerkat Manor, the show on Animal Planet, and deem it awesome.
My advisor sent me a link to the Helsinki Complaints Choir after I spent all of last week being obsessed with it. I am curious about how it came to his attention. Is it all over the place?
I am merely anti-superhot. I am fine with a masculine jaw, piercing green eyes, strapping shoulders, remarkable stature, a dazzling smile, and fantastic hair as qualities in isolation, but more than about three of them, and I'm not interested anymore.
Mm. I haven't read all the comments because I'm totally loaded right now. But I have looked at the profile and what leaps out at me is that this young lady A) thinks Vice is a 'zine and B) she reads Vice. Very worrying.
Also, you bastards, I can't possibly read all the comments you've made since I left to eat turkey. I hate you. I hate you all.
180: Luckily, I have blue eyes and rarely smile.
181 - I think 'zines qua 'zines don't exist anymore and have been replaced by blogs. Therefore, the word 'zine can once again be used as a simple abbreviation for "magazine". I admit this grudgingly.
176 - I told Ben that Ogged wrote me off the blog to beg for an invitation to my next party. Ogged said he would dress up like anything I wanted.
yeah, it's more the superhot than the `merely' hot. I met in various contexts a bad run of incredibly dysfunctional people who would also regularly swivel every head a room just by walking in. Kind of made me leery, to say the least.
Megan, hasn't everyone begged you for an invite though?
Everyone should already know they are welcome. New Year's Eve is the next raucous party, by the way. If you're around and want to come, email me for directions.
A friend who is a professional firecracker maker has volunteered some. Should be good.
Particularly since it seems to involve setting off explosives.
Particularly since it seems to involve setting off explosives.
Aw, teo, it's not nice to call Adam names. I presumed he was reacting to something else.
On preview, pwned. Eh.
Yeah, I'm kinda sad that there's only one girl being offered. Kotsko should get his pick.
Adam, it's about time you showed up. I've taken the first step for you...
If Milton Friedman and Ayn Rand have taught us anything, it's that strapping, good-looking men aren't actually brilliant, heroic visionaries with amazing sexual stamina.
Would that it were so. My best friend for a number of years was repeatedly shown to be extremely attractive to women, yet was also intelligent, financially astute, athletic and had a fine sense of humor. I am unsure of his sexual prowess, but he was actually a truly decent guy. Why isn't he married (at age 27)? Get this: he has a tendency to fall hard for women and freak them out by overcommitting. Good guy, shit to meet girls with.
Re: 'zines: Any zine worthy of the name is photocopied. Noone photocopies anymore, since if you want your text to reach a (relatively) mass readership you just post it online. Hence zines -> blogs.
197, that's not strictly true. What about her and her?
He found those two on his own, didn't he?
200: Oh, right, I almost forgot. But he's already rejected them! God, AK's so picky, he'll never get laid.
190: I'll be in Lake Tahoe for New Years, but S.F. for (parts of) the 2nd of January. Unfogged meetup?
Holy shit, this thread is awesome.
Oh my God. M. Leblanc was totally out with Kotsko. They missed the whole thing.
This one or this one might be good.
For just a date, rather than the proverbial two-man raft trip, her or her.
191 was just a reaction to the very existence of this thread. I have no objection to the specific woman you chose -- I like that we have different interests and that she's older than me. Plus she's cute, of course.
But what's the process here?
Word-weaver? Seriously?
136 and 205 get it exactly right.
191 was just a reaction to the very existence of this thread.
Yes, I realized. Now you sign up at personals.nerve.com (I think the free sign-up allows you to contact people--of course you'll have to have a profile) and send her a message.
I think the free sign-up allows you to contact people
This is not the case.
Shit, leblanc is right. Hell, I'll pay for it if you'll sign up and email her.
210: Back when I was Nerve-dating, guys would encode their IM names, email addresses, or websites cleverly into their profile, then send free winks. These guys were cheap, but the method of their encryptions was often, itself, quite attractive.
I think it costs about a dollar for an a la carte contact, it's not too outrageous.
I have an account now. I've seen this profile in its native form.
212:
I could see this as a method of finding chicks who find system-gaming attractive (a postive trait), but wouldn't the cheapness reverse-advertise? Doesn't one want to display both cleverness and indifference to minor financial considerations?
This seems like some weird reality show. I think AK should contact her and never again speak of this thread.
Are you kidding? This thread gets read at the wedding.
136: Do you mean objectively, or due to my overweening arrogance?
I can't figure out the "X is sexy; Y is sexier" thing. Is it expected that I'll say something like "smart"?
I gave tips on dealing with these questions back in the day.
That only works if you play in a band, gswift.
225: anything works if you play in a band.
That thread is great. And it contains the (startling!) revelation that LizardBreath lies for fun, frequently.
regarding 226: As a wise man said about John Mayer "withuot a recording contract, his hobbies would include renaissance faires and celibacy, not being groped by a drunk Jessica Simpson"
anything works if you play in a band
Untrue.
sexy/sexier dyads:
"my cock/your mouth"
"hot wax/bundling"
"rilke/ogden nash"
"fluffy handcuffs/water-boarding"
And, for the record, 229 is not a confession. It's based on the observations of an astute ethnographer.
And, for the record, 229 is not a confession. It's based on the observations of an astute ethnographer.
I don't know why you are pressuring Adam so much, ogged; he already posted an ad on Craigslist.
Hey, ogged, wanna start a band?
Yeah, I'll play the tambourine.
232: oh fine, pick nits.
almost anything works if you're in a band they've heard of.
anything works if you're in a band everyones heard of.
this applies, of course, on average.
Yeah, I'll play the tambourine
Great. You'll be our sole cage dancer. With tambourine, of course.
"rilke/ogden nash"
It would be so awesome to come across this.
It would be so awesome to come across this.
This, of course, would make a great headline for a woman-seeking-man ad.
Oh, not with that whole cum/come thing again.
Just teasing Ben.
**new comment**
Off to bed...
Ogged is just being a little bitch.
237: sorry, soubz, I wasn't trying to pick your nits (unless you're in a band, in which case: nut up already). I was just snarking.
Sure, give a girl a guitar, bass, keyboard, drums, whatever, and yeah, instant hottness. Same for dudes. It's unfortunate.
Sure, give a girl a guitar, bass, keyboard, drums, whatever, and yeah, instant hottness.
Not really.
246 gets it right. If 245 were so, I would get laid way more.
Not necessarily. Maybe if 245 weren't so, you'd get laid way less.
246: Well I said "Same for dudes" and I was obviously exaggerating the extent of the "instant hottness" but, really?
247: Hottness and Getting Laid are two separate-but-related categories.
248: What ben said.
The post title is missing a comma.
ogged has a problem with not putting commas before names. If I were less lazy I could link to, like, 8 examples of this, right now.
As I contemplate the lurch towards bed, it seems a good time to remind everyone that love is only a feeling.
Is it just me, or is is the come/cum homophony a blight upon our language? It allows so many puns as to devalue the best among them, and renders basic phrases trivially mockable. We are left with various sub-standard words to describe the experience of orgasm, all of which sound sleazy. The persistence of 'cum' is a blemish on the face of the English Language.
The post title is missing a comma.
Perhaps ogged is "volunteering" Adam for this date.
You have the right sort of idea, foolishmortal, but you've allowed orthography to overwhelm what should be a more parsimonious ontology. I refer to your reference to "the come/cum homophony", as if "cum" were a word, and not a base misspelling perpetrated by those seeking only to empuerile our civiilzation. It does not allow puns to proliferate, for "cum" has existence only in reference to "come", which is the correct term for the phenomenon many people, who ought to know better but don't, use "cum" to describe. (Imagine that someone tried to pass off a pun involving "speaker" and "speak". That's not a perfectly analogous case, but you see the principle, I'm sure.)
The problem is not "cum", the problem is the polysemy (heh) of "come". From one perspective, in fact, the invention of "cum" was a service, separating out as it does one of the meanings of "come" into a word with a discrete spelling. Unfortunately, whatever aid might have come about as a result of that development was immediately undone by the twin facts that (1) "cum" is stupid and (2) as soon as the meanings were separated into two words, everyone started thinking it clever to put them back together again in a pun-like but not, for reasons adduced above, actually punning manner.
256: Perhaps DUH.
How much of 257 is serious, and how much just an excuse to deploy "empuerile", I leave deliciously ambiguous.
216I could see this as a method of finding chicks who find system-gaming attractive (a postive trait), but wouldn't the cheapness reverse-advertise? Doesn't one want to display both cleverness and indifference to minor financial considerations?
Not at all. Refusing to pay for dating services is the mark of someone with a both confidence and brains.
257-8: Your shit is indeed delicious, but you miss my point. This bastard, 'cum,' is an artifact of English's lack of a decent word for jism. We have no proper word to describe this substance: jism itself is vulgar, come has the aforementioned problems, and it goes downhill from there. How does Spanish treat the question? Surely the French have dealt with this elegantly;how do they do it, and why can't we?
I think this book is a must read for you all.
I also asked Ben about the girl from his classes, and he confessed that he hasn't talked to her recently. Ben, don't pine for her indefinitely. Hit on her already.
Megan, just give up on w-lfs-n already; he has no game. The other day he says something in the comments about "coveting" me, when the time to tell me that would have been when I was in the Bay Area.
As for "winks" on Nerve/Salon Personals/Village Voice Personals, a lot of women (irrationally, in my view) hate them.
Giving pseudonymous and useless dating advice over the internet has to be the ultimate of cyber-meta futility, a big step beyond personals ads and e-dating. Here we are, all philosophers, none of us really quite quite sure that we and all other humans are anything more than brains in bottles, all of us reading all "human" experience in terms of the unreliable narrator, none of us believeing that the the disavowed Real and bourgeois false consciousness allow for the possibility of a stable personal identity or rational human agency -- and yet we believe that cyber-voices like w-lfs-n and Teofilo are not only actual human beings, but exactly the same persons they claim to be.
My own theory is that both w-lfs-n and Teofilo are barins in bottles, but that Teofilo is a 42-year-old male perv brain-in-a-bottle, whereas w-lfs-n is a 250-lb. 32-year-old housewife b-i-a-b. They're both playing a deep game which I can't decipher yet, but I can assure you that whatever it is, it ain't pretty.
So you may all fondly hope that your advice will the last straw pushing Teo and Ben over the edge into dating hell, but forget that. These guys are way ahead of you.
Around here in Lake Wobegon computer dating is quite common. One guy got his credit line stripped by a supposedly-rich divorcee from Tennessee, and one nice granny had a registered child abuser move in with her.
(Yeah, yeah, I know that some of you scokpuppets have met Ben and Teo IRL. Don't even try that one).
Here we are, all philosophers
Speak for yerself, Emerson -- some of us are rock stars.
The post title is missing a comma.
No it isn't.
247: Hey, you've got to do your part too. The expanded pool is there though, if you're in a band.
all philosophers, none of us really quite quite sure that we and all other humans are anything more than brains in bottles
Um, excuse me.
although this is probably obvious, 185 was not a claim I dated all of them.
I think philosophers generally agree that we're not brains in vats, but now argue whether we know we're not brains in vats.
Corn syrup is satanic, so I'd like to avoid it if possible.
True story: I was raised to eat pancakes with Karo Dark Corn Syrup. It's still my favorite.
I'm not going to say anything about online dating; I'll just say this: when I was in the game, the cleverest profiles yielded the lamest dates, and often the reverse was true as well.
when I was in the game
Jody, disciple of Emerson.
273: so, was yours clever or lame?
Oh, it started out ever so clever, chaps! It gradually got pared down to the essentials, and I did much better.
Great headline for a personals ad: "Not just another brain in a vat."
So, we're not acknowledging 263 because doing so would require Ben to retire to a cave for a decade or two to contemplate his lost honor, and deep down, we'd kind of miss the guy, right?
Isn't 263 an oblique way of flirting with him?
It might not be that Ben has no game, but that instead, his game is too tricksy for you to contemplate.
A friend of a friend (who we have not yet met) is staying at our house for next week and sent us a letter describing herself, which contains a paragraph I would think fantastic in a personal ad (which this letter is in a sense, I guess):
Also I am simply interested in Art, Movies, Fashion, Streetlife, Music, Bars, Cafes, reading - so I am a person that easily can keep herself busy for a looooong time - but also finds almost every topic of conversation interesting, as long as I am able to connect, or like "to nose people" (that is a german phrase for sympathi[z]e).This by way of saying she is going to be in town and interested in meeting people to find out about us weird Americans, if anybody would be interested in meeting up -- she is a lawyer from Berlin and specializes in mediation and "alternative dispute resolution".
Barins in bottles would make for the worst James Bond yet.
Ya see, B's problem is that she hasn't even heard of the unreliable narrator, the disavowed Real, or false consciousness. Not a philosopher. For her, everything is exactly as it seems. Easy pickings, guys [brains].
"Like to nose people" is dog language for something more than sympathy which is not entirely sanitary.
Which "town" is this woman "in"?
The same one I'm in, which is not yours. Sorry. Uh... NYC meetup anybody?
Some say that guy brains in vats have no penises, but only think that they do. Others think that they have real penises in different vats, floating around like pickled sausages. (Your pick, ladies.)
I wrote to this person. If we end up getting married, I guess Ogged pretty much has to be best man. Let's hope it doesn't come to that.
It might not be that Ben has no game, but that instead, his game is too tricksy for you to contemplate.
I don't think you believe that, Joe.
I wrote to this person.
Woohoo! Good work, Kotsko!
264: what do you want me to do to prove im human STOP
The rest: I was just reading this thread with the person of opposite sex (AND gender) who shares my living quarters, and we wondered why, if you're all so smart, you don't have dates? (For them as claim to not. Have them. Dates.) I mean, here we are, hardly the epitomies of hotness, with plenty of dysfunction and neurosis in our backgrounds, and barely two nickles to rub together, and we've each found multiple relationships, before happening upon each other at a workshop led by crusty punx.
I have yet hear a story IRL about a positive internet dating experience.
Anyway, whatever, I'm not feeling very chipper today. Commenting during the hours I'm usually working is weird. But it does my heart good to know that you are all out there obsessing and snarking and doing interesting stuff with your lives.
Up the punks!
290: I do. No one talks about how large they assume your penis is, ogged.
Megan, just give up on w-lfs-n already; he has no game. The other day he says something in the comments about "coveting" me, when the time to tell me that would have been when I was in the Bay Area.
I can't give up on w-lfs-n, 'cause I know that if I had gone to school with him, I would have thought that he was soooo smart and adorably awkward. He is too young for me, but I need him to get game for the sake of my younger self. w-lfs-n and I'll prolly hang out in Oakland sometime. When we do, I can coach him again, run him through more reps of talking to girls. When Ben extends his usual confidence to meeting the ladies, he'll be formidable.
DA, your CD is playing right now and I'm dancing in my chair. Thank you.
I have yet hear a story IRL about a positive internet dating experience.
You need to stay in more: I know two couples who married after meeting through an online dating site.
The lady I mentioned seems perfectly happy with her registered sex offnder.
The lady I mentioned seems perfectly happy with her registered sex offnder.
This is like carrying your own bomb on a plane, right?
One of my good friends from college met her husband through Match.com. THey're ridiculously suited for each other.
282: I haven't heard of the unreliable narrator? John, you and I need to meet.
I have yet hear a story IRL about a positive internet dating experience.
In fact, let's just all three of us get together next time I'm in Minneapolis visiting my boyfriend. Who I met online.
When Ben extends his usual confidence to meeting the ladies, he'll be formidable.
Agreed; but in the meantime, 263 kinda has a point.
Yeah, sure, the apocryphal "boyfriend". My guess is that he passes through walls with iase, and mirrors don't show his face.
We're on to you, B.
He actually kind of does have a running joke about being several centuries old. Hmm.
Face it, Laura, there is no gentleman caller.
Megan, just give up on w-lfs-n already; he has no game. The other day he says something in the comments about "coveting" me, when the time to tell me that would have been when I was in the Bay Area.
Arguably, I did.
Anyway, you probably think you're too old for me.
Just a general note: odds are, you're not too old for me.
Anyway, you probably think you're too old for me.
Ok, Ben, you're on your own.
I am too old for you. I think you fall on the wrong side of half-my-age-plus-seven.
308 was to Ben. I don't know how old Kotsko is, and I'm now afraid to ask.
I was moderately stunned reading over the weekend that you're my age -- I thought from meeting you that you were much closer to w-lfs-n's. I'm going to give up guessing people's ages entirely now.
I'm willing to sell a few age-units to someone who finds themself coming up short. I need to get myself down to 18 in order to take full advantage of the age-of-consent laws around here.
More easily sed than dun.
I thought from meeting you that you were much closer to w-lfs-n's
As did I. How disappointing, and how disappointing to learn that da considers herself bound by that 1/2 + 7 "rule". However, in a few short months, I'll qualify as old enough even under that method of accounting!
DA is kind of timeless -- when I met her I at first thought she was a few years older than me, but talking with her discovered we are the same age as one another. I seem to attach an inordinate amount of importance to finding out how old the people I am talking with are, and where they come from. All the better to categorize them I guess.
Appy polly logies for the syntax of 316, which is not dazzlingly good.
OK, how about an age pool. Anyone in a difficult circumstance comes by and drops off or picks up the necessary number of years. When someone dies their debt to the pool will be cleared. My guess is that the pool will never go below zero.
Well there will be a huge bias toward a negative number of years in the pool, from all of the adolescents who want to be able to buy alcohol legally. What's going to make those years up?
One sixty-year-old can emancipate fourteen 18-year-olds.
Plus America is top-heavy with oldies.
251 was not intended seriously, nor, given its reception, dare I suggest that it was a joke. Rather, it was an encouragement to consider the different possible meanings of the post title, both in its current sans comma form and in its potential (more perfect?) comma-laden one.
I'm up for a Mpls meetup any time, but that would still be my first real-life acknowledgement of a successful online-begat relationship. Of course, everyone I know in relationships could have met online and they're just lying.
304 - You were putting the moves on DA in SF? The evening we three hung out? Were you doing that silently, with the invisible body language? Ben, honey, when you are telling people you covet them, it has to be noticeable. We can work on that, too. It is all learnable technique. Anyway, she left with me, and it was all pillow fights and lotion when we got home.
I couldn't have guessed DA's age from her appearance, so I assumed she was my age and got lucky!
323: Excellent. I should be in town for New Year's.
325: True, but not in that context.
Minneapolitan, I'm game, as Chopper probably is. I need advance notice. And not after Dec. 8 or so because Jesus McQueen and I have a meetup with the Decemberists in Portland on Dec. 15.
Anyway, she left with me, and it was all pillow fights and lotion when we got home.
It was a magical night.
I might make it to Mpls for New Year's.
Ben, honey, when you are telling people you covet them, it has to be noticeable. We can work on that, too. It is all learnable technique.
This is going to be the best reality show ever.
"America's Next Tenured Philosopher"
A suggestion/projection: Kotsko should find a willing, undersexed U.Chicago undergrad and sweep her off her feet with critical theory jokes (altho i'd lay off the overly used foucault ones) and promises of long walks by the lake discussing Heidegerrian ontology. My further suggestion, to preemptively counteract the inevitable awkwardness of their first contact, is that he should find her by posting an externship on Craiglist for an editorial assistant to help him write the world's first blork. Or, OTOH, he could lurk at an antisweatshop rally in Hyde Park until he finds a Marxistleaning AmericanApparelsporting vixen of his choice.
I'll be out of town for a few days around Christmas, but am otherwise open and up for a meetup.
Would that be a fucking great show or what? The mind reels.
You're doing well, Megan, but probably you should reference a post. I can't fuck off on everything.
334: The undersexed part should be easy -- the willing might be harder to find.
I find that over the past four years, the undergrads at U of C, at least the women, are getting better-looking. I don't think it's just me -- this has to be the result of active recruiting.
When we do, I can coach him again, run him through more reps of talking to girls.
I'm imagining a montage of pull-ups, jumping rope, and chatting up women in the park set to a freaky Euro-prog version of "Gonna Fly Now."
330, 335: Okay, we'll set something up on or after the new year.
Well, we are planning a New Year's Eve party, which will be a big blowout, and have our usual divers selection of academics, bohemians, communists, dipsomaniacs, editors, freelancers, garage bandleaders, et cetera, et cetera. We're not so big on the M-fun (not that I would turn down an invite to one of Megan's parties on a bet), so most people on this blog would probably fit in.
But, if people aren't up for that, Friday the 29th and Saturday the 30th are fine for me too. (No Xmas obligations this year!) I dunno what kind of bars you all like. For myself, it's usually the Local, the Trend, the Triple Rock, Psycho Suzie's, CC Club, Lyon's Pub, Tony Jaros' Rivergarden, Palmer's or the Leaning Tower of Pizza (Stadium Village location), but I'll drink pretty much anywhere. I'm not really allowing myself to go drinking with other people at Gameworks after what happened last December. >
My conjectures about where people would pick:
Dr. B: Bryant-Lake Bowl or the Sample Room
Emerson: Grumpy's or Pracna
Chopper: Cabooze or the Bulldog
Even I can't tell if I'm joking with those picks though.
Anytime the 30th or after is OK with me, 29th maybe, New Years might be fun but too hectic for meetup purposes. As for places -- not noisy, good and relatively cheap beer, food not a major consideration.
Given that my boyfriend is the controller for the BLB, yeah, I've drunk there.
I'll check with him on the New Year's plans and let y'all know.
Wow, that was a cool bit of prognostication on minneapolitan's part!
339 - Yep. Just like that. It'll work, too.
following up on 333: a reality show called "America's Next Tenured Philosopher" in which post-docs compete for a tenure-track position at an important department. The judges would be the department's hiring committee, with maybe a celebrity host managing them. Contestants would go through submission of their CV's, multiple rounds of interviews, teach sample classes, address conferences & publish papers, with some being eliminated at each step. When it's down to the final 3 they have some kind of head-to-head philosophy-off to determine who will be America's Next Tenured Philosopher. What do you think, I want to get it produced on Bravo.
Minneapolitan, I have this idea that if we don't know each other, we probably know at least one person in common.
I have a two-year-old, so my bar attendance has gone down quite a bit. I went to the Cabooze to see Dick Dale play, once, like 9 years ago. I've been to the Uptown Bulldog a few times, mainly because a friend used to live by it. I'd like to try the new one in Northeast, though.
Actually, I love a lot of Northeast bars--Whitey's, Grumpy's, the Knight Cap, Mayslack's, Jaros', that white stucco one I always wind up at after too much time at the other bars...
I also like the Local and the Triple Rock (best jukebox in town!). The lounge at Solera and the back bar at Auriga are also a lot of fun. Basically, I look for good beer on tap, at least one good Scotch or bourbon on the shelf, not too loud (so one can talk) and not too crowded (so one can get a seat and drinks in a resonable period of time). Good munchies are a plus, as are resonable accomodations for smokers, including decent cigarettes for sale.
Hey, as to locale, I personally am easy peasy. I like dressing up and playing fancy, and I like dives. It's the in-between, vague places that kinda suck.
People should be cautious about revealing too much about their dating life here at Unfogged, lest they end up like A White Bear.
A dive it has to be, because I can't dress up.
John, it's Minneapolis--you needn't dress up to go anywhere under discussion (although people might look at you a little weirdly at Auriga and Solera, which we should probably rule out anyway).
I don't think I'm up for New Year's with strangers (not you unfoggers, but the others at Minneapolitan's party), but am open otherwise from the 28th on.
Well, keep in mind that I'm in DC until the 30th and won't arrive in Minneapolis until that night or the next day. So it really has to be after the new year if we're ruling out NY Eve.
Dives are way easier in the Minneapolis winter, anyway, because that means I can wear boots instead of heels.
Sounds like it should be New Year's or later. I say later, presumably with the option of going to Mplsan's New Year's party.
Well, if everyone can be in town at the same time, any night is fine with me. Of course, if it's a work night, it can't really go insanely late, but we can always start early.
A certain person just suggested somewhere more bar/restaurant (specifically the Blue Nile) than just bar, if we were going to be doing it on the 30th, since everywhere will be crazy. But if it was the 1st or 2nd, everywhere will be dead, so we'd have our pick.
Of Chopper's list, Triple Rock (my local, pretty much) or one of the NE bars would be fine with me.
I think I might have seen a BLB reference on Dr. B's site somewhere, so I'm not really that clairvoyant. I like it pretty well, it's just that it's ALWAYS packed and sometimes it takes forever to get a cider. A friend of mine reported that if you want to get fast service there, bring an older, working-class Native American man in with you, and you will literally have the staff hovering around your table, making sure you want for nothing. (To be fair, this was more than a couple of years ago, though given the gentrification of that neighborhood, it's probably not that different today.)
Ah. Well, I can't speak to the service at BLB--for some reason whenever I'm there with my bf, the service seems pretty darn good.
Emerson, Who are the Decemberists to whom you refer?
Will you all help me w/ some dating stuff (online or otherwise? There was a horrible book a while ago by some HBS graduate about how to land a husband. She did have one good point, though; you need to be able to market yourself. Your friends need to be able to describe you --reasonably accurately-- in just a few words.
Many of you seem to think that I'm sweet, and I guess that I can be--I really don't like hurting people--but I'm also really judgmental and can occasionally be vicious. Scathing and contemptuous comments are also in my repertoire. I may be sweet, but I am not without my edge.
I vote for the first or after, to avoid the hectic factor.
I'm buying tickets in a couple of days, so we can hopefully decide soon.
BG, are you trying to date or are you trying to land a husband? I would tend to think that the two are different goals, requiring different approaches.
349: Thankfully, we can now rest easy, knowing that at least A White Bear is not a government stooge.
358: you have to be much more discrete when going after husbands. The wives can make things dramatic, you know.
The Decemberists are the famous pop band. In Portland I can arrange for everyone (along with hundreds of other people) to be in the same room with many of the Decemberists, who are playing in the Pogues tribute band KMRIA. I might even be able to arrange a brief audience with the keyboard player Jenny, though she doesn't know about this plan I have.
361: God no, Chopper, though I can see why you'd think that. Remember, I'm a Christian.
It's just that when I describe a woman as 'sweet,' I generally mean that she's very nice (and probably kinder than is implied by nice) and just a bit boring. And I really hope that I'm not boring--at least not most of the time.
363: Wait, I thought you were UCC.
364: Nope, I'm an Episcopalian.
You understand my confusion. Anyway, no, for my purposes you're not a Christian. In fact, as long as you're a high church kind of girl, I'd even go to church with you!
I refuse to set foot in any church that has a PowerPoint projector, however.
To clarify: Not that you're not a Christian! But I just use the word to mean "Christian in a bad sense." (In the abstract, it bothers me that obnoxious evangelicals are culturally coded as the only "real" Christians, but it's hard to undo the psychological conditioning that predisposes me to think that that's actually true. Kind of the same reason I still don't like to dance or go to the movies.)
362: Speaking of which, December 15 is nearly upon us. KMRIA is playing at Doug Fir -- a kewl venue -- and Unfoggetarians from the Pacific Northwest and beyond are encouraged to join us for an evening of j-fun. If you can't make it, don't feel too bad, because given the presence of Emerson and several Decemberists, you'd likely be superfluous anyway.
BG, I think it's possible for someone to routinely be described as one way ("sweet") yet have other facets to her personality. The top four or five words words used to describe somebody describe their affect, their general tone -- how they present themselves to the world. That can't possibly capture all the nuance of a full human being.
Whether you want a date or a life partner (I agree with JM that those are not fully overlapping categories), it's not a bad idea to be aware of how you present yourself, and to ask others to summarize you. A friend of mine did that a few years ago and was startled when every single person she asked included "passionate" as one of the words. But she's an ethical vegetarian, an animal-rights activist, a political volunteer, and a very physically affectionate person.
My point is, how others describe you can be a useful shorthand, but it's not everything.
367: I know that there are places that use power point as part of worship, but all I can say is: Puke.
I used to be very high church. I grew up going to Anglo-Catholic services, and though there were a lot of gay men, the women kind of got short schrift. And there's a lot of truth to the phrase "high and crazy." I'm kind of broad-church now. I like my incense at the Easter Vigil, but I don't need it, kind of pre-Oxford Movement high church and definitely eucharistically oriented.
I'm pretty sure that on the Anglican scale of things, the Vatican II Roman Missal actually counts as "low church."
Personally, I liked the traditional ways better, when one authoritative snap judgement could doom someone for the rest of their life.
"BG: sweet." No muss, no fuss, end of story.
Your opinions on relationships are well-known, John.
369: Most people in real life describe me as passionate. Not many say that I'm sweet, although I think that people might say that I am kind. The most attractive adjective that people tend to use to describe me is "generous."
BG: I suggest something like "a lot of people seem to think I'm sweet, but I'll show those motherfuckers."
372: John, are you trying to bring back the incisive-baa style of yore?
374: OK, I'm a bit lost. I don't think it's false advertising to say that you are kind or that you are generous. I think you're probably curious and engaged, too, based on what you've said about your self-directed learning (finance? economics?). But if you're talking about dating -- I dunno. My bias is toward specifics. Not "My friends say I am generous" but "I volunteered to help out with UHC in Massachusetts".
If you're talking about which words a friend should use when describing you to a potential blind date...well, the advice stands. Specifics are better than generalities.
In general, I think of "sweet" as a positive when it's used to describe a guy, and negative when ascribed to a woman/ girl. I can also be argumentative in situatiosn where it's less than appropriate--among people who don't think that soem intellectual question is terribly important or whatever--and then I'm descriebd as "intimidating."
375: Exactly, B.
376: Witt, you're right to be confused, because I wasn't being clear. I did ask for help with a personal ad, but my comments were really in response to someone else's comment about how, when a friend sets you up with someone you can't stand, you wonder how well that friend knows you or how you project yourself.
So, I was musing about the ways that I project myself in different venues--online versus live etc.
I am 100% exactly the same in every situation -- except apparently I come off as slightly happier in person.
378: Ah, got it. Well, it helps to ask the mutual friend beforehand why they think you'd be a good fit.
Intimidating can be meant literally, or can be a sneaky put-down -- oh, you care that much about this issue? Well, that's intimidating to little ol' me. I don't have time to read up on the fine points. (Implication: I have better things to do with my life.)
380: I think it's meant literally, because I always hear about it from other people. If I find someone smarmy or in any way too-big-for-his-britches, I am not above the cutting jab to bring the person down a peg or two. (It's awfully snotty of me to think taht I'm the person who ought to do that.) I've occasionally argued in such a way as to embarass someone in front of a group. (I'm not proud of this, but it does happen.) People might described me as intense in this respect, and my curiosity about people can soemtiems descend to the level of grilling.
I think of "sweet" as a positive when it's used to describe a guy, and negative when ascribed to a woman/ girl.
With Mormons, "sweet spirit" has become a euphemism for a nice but unattractive woman. Usually fat.
I'm not fat nor unattractive. I do have big boobs though.
Your pseudonym is, on the geographical level, to be taken literally, isn't it?
I think of "sweet" as a positive when it's used to describe a guy, and negative when ascribed to a woman/ girl.
Huh. Usually "sweet" is the kiss of death for a guy.
Usually "sweet" is the kiss of death for a guy.
I think this depends on the social circle.
I'm not fat nor unattractive. I do have big boobs though.
BG, you should leave this comment at several blogs and see how it goes.
387: The canonical response is ".GIF! .GIF! .GIF!"
Usually "sweet" is the kiss of death for a guy.
Yeah, seems like pretty often that "sweet" has the unsaid "but I would never ever fuck him".
I think that the misogyny of the "nice guy" who thinks that girls only like assholes stems from precisely that subtext to being told they're "nice" or "sweet."
391: does that get followed up with `I wouldn't want to risk our friendship' ?
I might even be able to arrange a brief audience with the keyboard player Jenny, though she doesn't know about this plan I have.
I'm there.
Do you want to get a few workouts in first? Jumping jacks, approaching girls, push-ups, talking to girls, windsprints, asking them back to your room?
BEN! I sent you hatred! Check your gmail!
If I ever do a Tuesday Hatred it will be entitled "I, Volunteer Adam."
385: I often describe extremely good sex or a really good date as "sweet," as in unbearably delicious. "Sweet," as an adjective modifying "guy," usually means something troubling--either LTR or dumping.
"Sweet," to describe a man, for me means "a nice guy to whom I could do irreparable harm if I don't stay the fuck away from him."
Or what everyone else said.
Jenny, alas, is attached. And yes, she's very sweet.
And she likes prog, too, according to an article I read. More's the pity.
Is 374 trying to suggest that "generous" is a more attractive quality than "passionate"? Certainly they are both positive attributes; but I would dispute that ranking.
400: I have a couple of reports that Colin, otoh, is an ass. Which I'd rather weren't true even if I'm not sure why. Do you know to contrary?
I have a reliable report that it's a 1 1/2 man band, with Funk being the 1/2, and the other players being the backup band. But last I heard, the Decemberists and their record company treat the musicians decently, and it's very unusual for musicians to be treated decently.
You can tell that Colin is an ass just by his nasal whinge.
Asses are flatulent, not nasal.
That depends on how you do it, Clownæ.
I lived in DC for a while, but yes, I do live in Boston now.
There's one guy that I knew who was unfailingly kind. I never heard him say anything bad about anyone. He coudl get plenty of women and was really popular among the guys. He always looked out for the quiet person who might feel uncomfortable and made a point to talk to that person and make him/her feel at ease. He was very athletic and a guy's guy, but also unbelievably gentle. That's what I think of as "sweet."
