That settles it: Nerve is the best choice.
That is why with all this Nerve talk, I've now disabled my profile. I don't want one of y'all to find me. Especially now that ogged is trolling the Chicago listings trying to find pussy for Kotsko.
I don't want one of y'all to find me.
Too late.
Also, step up Nerve-recommended commenter, there's no reason to keep quiet.
I just remembered that I actually have a Nerve account (though no profile--signed up some months ago to browse through those of others). I'd do something with it, but the results would probably be more unintentionally hilarious than is ideal.
Seriously, how many fucking profiles did you look through!
Seriously, how many fucking profiles did you look through!
Enough, apparently.
Especially now that ogged is trolling the Chicago listings trying to find pussy for Kotsko.
Such a great sentence.
What nobody seems to realize is that the Nerve recommendation algorithm is behind the dec 30th meeting, too.
If ogged came across your profile randomly, then wow. If he started from the premise that you had a Nerve profile and then tried to find it, then not wow. It isn't hard if you know a little about someone.
All your profilez are seriously belong to me, ya'll. Watch this space for your blackmail instructions.
I'm amazed that Tia realized the profile was of a commenter. Unless there was some quite unique piece of information that I remembered from comments, I don't think that would ever occur to me when reading a profile.
If ogged came across your profile randomly
In my quest to find a suitable mate for Adam, I scrolled through an effin' lot of pages of women between the ages of 20 and 30 in Chicago. I wasn't looking for leblanc's, but I wouldn't call it "random."
I don't think that would ever occur to me when reading a profile.
Except for when you read mine, and knew it was me?
12 is a masterful attempt at diversion, Ogged, but we all know that it was you that Nerve paired up with Tia. It has to have been.
OK, maybe I'm a little paranoid. My apologies to Willy Voet.
I scrolled through an effin' lot of pages of women
That's a wow, then.
Except for when you read mine, and knew it was me?
You've posted your picture here, remember?
Could you come to the window, sb? I'm standing outside.
Anyway, leblanc, nothing to be embarrassed about--you sounded smart and passionate, just like you do here, and I've posted my own profile here, so it's not like I thought you were a loser for having one.
Doesn't anyone remember the circumstances in which leblanc posted her picture here?
Thanks, ogged. It's just weird to have that intersection of people you actually know (for some value of "know") see how to try to present yourself to people that you don't know.
Pretend my last comment made sense.
Pretend my last comment made sense.
It's just weird to have that intersection of people you actually know (for some value of "know") see how to you try to present yourself to people that you don't know.
Sorry, I've been copyediting for hours. I'm swiftly losing my mind.
Yeah, I don't know what I put "intersection" in there for.
You probably meant to say 'intercourse.'
Yeah, I'm always saying intersection when I mean to have intercourse.
Cause a lot of fucking accidents, do you?
It was a tit shot, apo. You missed your chance. Everyone else saw it but you.
Why doesn't Unfogged just start a personals section and reap the big bucks? And unleash, if not vast amounts of human happiness, then at least lots of teh getting laid among suitably intellectual partners?
Why doesn't Unfogged just start a personals section
This might work iff I exercised merciless powers of bannage. Then again, it might end up with just me, Becks and Apostropher hanging out here.
I don't post here often or sober, but if any of you should divine my identity, approach slowly,visibly unarmed and with warning. The prospect of my net and actual personae becoming connected fills me with horror: the seinfeld ref. is worlds clashing.
Is there a cultural precedent for widespread social anonymity? Someone, somewhere must have dealt with the complexities of an basically anonymous community. What is the protocol for consensual breach of anonymity? Or non-consensual?
What is the protocol for consensual breach of anonymity?
You mean in a situation like the post describes?
Well, yeah, but more like posting on the fact that it occurred. That is, alerting the general public that there is a nerve entry out there corresponding to an unspecified commenter.
More generally, I'm looking for a historical precedent to a commenting community: how etiquette and protocol have dealt with anonymity, if at all.
Are you the other half of this story? I mean, do you have a friend who's the other half?
"Unitarians don't recognize the Holy Trinity in much the same way Southern Baptists don't recognize each other at the liquor store." And Unfoggedians don't recognize each other on Nerve. Except when they do.
Seriously, if it's on the internet, other people can find out about it. But this is similar to how you can get hit by a car any time you go to cross the street.
That was completely incoherent. But the number of Unfogged commenters is large, and the number of Nerve personal ads is probably even larger, and we all like to laugh at potentially somewhat awkward situations, so what the heck.
Rather than a personals section, you need one of those memory games where you can turn over cards, and see either the text of an unfogged comment or a personal ad blurb, and get points for matching them up. Or an electric shock through your keyboard if you get it wrong.
"Unitarians don't recognize the Holy Trinity in much the same way Southern Baptists don't recognize each other at the liquor store."
I heard it with Mormons. (Jews don't recognize Jesus, Protestants don't recognize the Pope, and Mormons don't, etc.. Too bad the last one doesn't rhyme. Once I told this to a Mormon and he said that sometimes you don't even recognize your family members.)
a historical precedent to a commenting community
I'd be curious to hear about this too. Were there samizdat "communities"? Or salons where the people remained anonymous? Maybe the historians will pipe up later.
Ah, that's a much better formulation. I couldn't remember it exactly, and Google let me down.
46: Maybe LB can post it on the front page as a request to her crush.
From my pitifully small store of actual jokes:
Q: Why should you always take two Mormons fishing?
A: Because if you only take one, he'll drink all the beer.
there is a nerve entry out there corresponding to an unspecified commenter
Water's wet, too, foolish. I don't think Tia broke anyone's trust with this post. She didn't specify location (in fact, she made it vague, which was quite conisiderate and, I imagine, well-thought-out). You, the internet user, set the expectations of others here on these tubes. Don't tell us about your ample supply of Polonium 210 and your connections to the Kremlin, unless you want us to assume you fly British Airways often and enjoy Sushi.
"conisiderate" s/b spelled correctly
This might work iff I exercised merciless powers of bannage.
Bannage, deletion, submission, and mockery--the delights of the blogosphere.
Hm. Upon re-reading, 52 seems infelicitous. I revise and extend: I know of no such protocol; if it exists, it's crazy, because fuck if you should put your name on the internet unless you mean it; and being on nerve and being on unfogged means presenting yourself to a lot of people. I don't really think it's surprising there's an overlap.
48: is, hotly, correct.
51(and others): I''m not implying otherwise: I'm just geekily looking for a standard. If there is no such standard, even historically, then that in itself is notable. If there is, I'd like to know about it: civililization will be the better for it.
You meant 51.
The protocol, imho, is that if someone is anonymous in one forum, you don't identify them. Everyone who has a web presence of any kind also has a "real name" web presence, so the whole "don't use your real name online unless you mean it" thing is unrealistic.
So like I'm effectively out now with the MLA thing. I'm okay with that, as long as people don't fucking start addressing me by name in places where I post as bitch, and don't give away more information about who I am and where I am, etc., than I've explicitly given myself. Like ok, I'm in California now, that's known because I've said so, as bitch. But I haven't said which town in a public forum. Here I've pretty clearly implied where I was living before this move, but I sure as shit haven't said so on my own blog. Obviously people are going to make mistakes, but generally, how hard is it to err on the side of caution?
That said, saying "I found a Nerve profile that belongs to someone here" is, imho, pretty fucking vague considering how many ppl comment here. I don't think it's over the line, and I assume that the person Tia's talking about knows she was going to post on it since they exchanged emails. If she said who it was, that would suck.
56: Yes, I meant "51"; thanks, B.
FWIW, I meant 52, too. [/w-lfs-n]
OK, 56's seems like a decent position.. That said, the fact that this needed to be elucidated as such suggests that there is no set standard beyond "try not to be a prick." This implies that an anonymous community is a novel situation. Is this so?
Oh, and 38's comment reminds me fo the Funkyzeit mit Bruno episode: (to the the U of Alabama running back) "Can you date the other members of the team, or do you have to wait until the end of the season?"
try not to be a prick.
No, I think it's more like "pay attention." For example, reading Bitch's blog and her comments here I noticed she is more open about stuff here than she is over there, wthout having to be told. You just follow what people do regarding their own personal info, and do that.
Although can't social mores pretty much always be described as "whatever everyone else is doing", for appropriate values of "everyone else"?
Just to clarify, if you've set up an account at one of the Nerve-sponsored personals sites, that's not actually Nerve, is your profile viewable on all the other sites?
"If you should see me comin', and if you know who I am/Don't you breathe it to nobody, 'Cause you know I'm on the lam" -JC
"the number of Unfogged commenters is large"
"being on unfogged means presenting yourself to a lot of people"
I always figured this was true. That's why I was surprised at the numbers for the poll the other week asking whether the post should be at the head of the comments. When I voted, which was pretty late, it was like 60 pro, 60 con? What did the eventual vote top out at, 200?
I realize there are always more lurkers than commenters, but voting is hardly delurking, so some lurkers probably voted.
So, point is, how many people really *are* out there reading this blog? (Okay, scratch "people", since that's a bit discriminatory, replace with entity of your choice).
55: besides gay bathhouses you have anonymous societies like the Ku Klux Klan. (I don't know if the KKK is unique in this regard but it's hard to imagine it would be.) And, in modern times, Alcoholics Anonymous and all the other anonymous 12-step programs.
62 -- Well you yourself count for 4 or 5, right?
"Unitarians don't recognize the Holy Trinity in much the same way Southern Baptists don't recognize each other at the liquor store."
"I heard it with Mormons. "
So then it goes, uh:
Unitarians don't recognize the Holy Trinity in much the same way Southern Baptists don't recognize each other in the same Mormon?
I'm kind of liking the image of the Internet as a vast consortium of 12-step programs with overlapping memberships.
"My name is Clownæ and I have been a Mineshaft addict since I was a teenager. I started sneaking out of class to chat ATM in my Sophomore year, and it got worse quickly. I ran away from home at 17 to live at the Florida Flophouse and I spent the next ten years in the gutter, living from hand to mouth."
I use Nerve. I'd never heard of it until I read a, well, profile of it in NYT Magazine. It seemed a lot more revealing than the bland sort of profiles on other sites. I only later learned that it was also hooked up to Salon and the Onion, both of which I both knew and read regularly.
I seemed to hit it off well with the first person I contacted, until she found out I linked in through Nerve (she was a Salon girl): "you Nerve guys are freaks". And so began my internet dating experience.
Anybody know if the Masons were at some point in their history an anonymous society? I'm pretty sure they are not currently. Actually no, I don't think it would make any sense for them to have been anonymous.
46: The Société Anonyme was something else entirely.
living from hand to mouth
s/b living by hand and mouth
Hey c'mon Chopper, I'm trying to preserve a shred of my tattered dignity here.
At least I didn't tell them about, you know...the incident.
Yeah well, you've got your own honor to think about too, I guess.
Look, Herve´ said the gerbils had cavities, alright, I DIDN'T KNOW he had other things in mind when he gave me the pliers!
68 - And the SF Chron, and the Seattle Weekly, that I've noticed. The questions and formatting are consistent throughout all those outlets.
76: And apparantly some tantric site. Which can make for some interesting assumptions if someone didn't realize the profiles were being syndicated. Not, you know, speaking from personal experience or anything.
I call bullshit on 54. Change your gender, put up with a month or so of, say, 3- to 5-times-daily hangup calls, and get back to me with whether you still feel the same way.
(And with that one I have probably shed a little anonymity. Hi, Tim Burke.)
I think you may have misread 78.
78: Can you explain what #54 says?
I might be completely talking out my ass here because this is a little outside my area of expertise, but I *think* that 18th-century masquerade balls were probably anonymous kinda like internet chat communities are. That is to say, given that they were private parties, it's impossible to believe that people were *really* anonymous to everyone there every time; but the etiquette was to *act* as if you were. They had the reputations of being places where people got up to All Sorts of Things--I've never been clear if that just means open flirting and "costumes" of classical nudes, or if it means it was common for people to hook up, as the kids call it these days.
83: I'm thinking of a Sarah Fielding novel, maybe the name was Amelia? with scenes suggesting that hooking up either happened at masquerade balls or was expected to happen.
79, 81: I read it as "if you really meant what you said on teh intarnets, you'd use your real name."
That's certainly how Harlequin romances portray masked balls.
I don't know all that much about them, but I believe that the conventions on anonymity depended a lot on milieu. At the Duchess's masquerade, most people knew who was who, and the game was about the wittiness of the costumes. At the Duke's mistress's masquerade, who know who that masked man was! or if we do, we're not telling because we don't want people to know we were there. And then I think there were a number of more public masquerade balls, at Vauxhall and other "pleasure gardens."
82: That would mean I'd have to move to the East Coast at some point, which, ew, no.
Ah, then I do think you misread, it seems to be more along the lines of "be very careful about putting your name on the internet, because it will be visible to lots of folks." But I'd like to hear more about why you had a sex-change and stalked Tim Burke.
Speaking of hooking up in the 18th C, what do you experts think of Martin Levy's Love & Madness, about the murder of Martha Ray?
Calm down, fans of the old Hollywood Squares!
I stalked him because he kept fighting me for the shiny objects. The sex change was to gain some height, in order to be more intimidating. I wish I'd figured out it didn't work out that way a little sooner.
86: Yeah, I think it was public masquerades ala Vauxhall that tended to be raided on occasion by the cops. Plus ca change.
88: Re-reading, it looked to me like Stanley was saying both "be careful about putting your real name on the internet" and "if you do put your real name on the internet, no one has any obligation to not use it in any context" (e.g., it'd be perfectly fine to use the rosy-toed one's real name here).
94: Not quite. I admit I was most unclear—sorry. Basically, I meant "be careful about putting your name on the internet, for someone else (e.g., an employer) might use that information in an unanticipated manner." It would certainly be rude to out someone who intended to stay pseudonymous. But there are rude people out there.
And with that, I ban myself for the rest of the day.
yeah, recently I've been worried that I'll piss some right-winger off sometime and they'll have fun outing me. there are actually even unfogged readers who don't know who I am (I met one, who knew about realname me and the mysterious alameida but didn't know we were kicking it Frege hesperus/phosphorus style.) so I encourage everyone to preserve my pseudonymity, even though it seems ridiculous.
I'm a lurker and I think (or rather, believe) all y'all are hott. Who's on Nerve who's in the DC area, and how can I better stalk you?
It took me a stupidly long time to figure out who you were, alameida, and of course I was too proud to ask around.
I was shocked when I found out you were Jane Galt.
Kobe!, but my hearts not in it: that's not funny, Aoostropher.
I met one, who knew about realname me and the mysterious alameida but didn't know we were kicking it Frege hesperus/phosphorus style.
Nice.
I wasn't too proud to beg for Alameida's secret identity: I asked Ogged. I still cannot believe that Alameida is really Jacqueline Passey *and* the first cousin of both Kathryn Lopez and Britney Spears...
95/96: Yeah, well, been there done that. There are rude people, but the vast majority are pretty decent, and life's too short and there's too much fun to be had to be paranoid *all* the time.
103: Yeah, definitely. These internets are really quite friendly. I misread foolishmortal last night and thought that she or he was subtly going after Tia for this post. I felt dumb all day for my mistake and my incoherence.
104: some of us, on the other hand, are just mean
I feel lucky to be in a position where I don't need to maintain pseudonymity. Plus, I'm way too much of an attention whore to accomplish it anyhow.