This series of posts on Althouse deserves a Pulitzer.
...if they gave out a Pulitzer for gay.
Okay, fine. She also can't spell "presumed," I point out in a pathetic attempt to save face.
FWIW, I object to the easy equation you're making, Labs, between "the granola set" and "liberals." Some libs are annoying as shit, but a lot of the folks I think of as being pretty granola are not, in fact, annoying, and not all libs are granola, anyway.
Ok, commenter then. My bad. And I realize that 6 kind of proves your point, what with its annoying earnest pedantry. Bite me.
B, have you been to Madison? My impression was that it's a bit like Ithaca, which made me want to vote for Barry Goldwater.
Also, B, when you call them "libs" it reminds me of Rush Limbaugh. Hot!
That is a beautiful comment. It is like fortified whine.
I accidentally voted for Althouse! I think this is probably my guilty conscience speaking.
Can Madison really be any worse than Berkeley? Except for the many commonly known ways in which places in the middle of the country are worse than places on the coasts, that is.
"They are arrogant caricatures of themselves as the prsumed leaders of the unwashed illiterati that exist outside the hallowed halls of academe like the farmers markets of old set up outside the gates of the castle."
Does this sentence have any meaning?
14: stereotypically nice people, actual seasons, farmland?
The problem with a concept like "arrogant caricatures of themselves" is that it opens up the possibility of infinite regress. They are caricatures of something, that something being themselves, such that one ends up with caricatures of caricatures of caricatures..... It's not clear exactly where the second half of the cited sentence falls in this cascading caricature -- it seems itself to be a caricature, but on a certain level, that would make it a straight description.
14 -- My brother, who grew up in Modesto and went to college in Madison, described it as very similar to Berkeley. Note that Madison's big asset is The Onion.
I thought Madison's biggest asset was that one deli/restaurant/store.
Um. First off, Madison is where the New Left decided that what the city really needed was a better bond rating.
Second, most of the Madison crew of the Onion left for Brooklyn years and years ago, when the editorial offices moved to across the street from the Kingdom Hall in far, far west Chelsea.
Third, more people in Madison know who Pinkus McBride is than they do Althouse. And she knows it.
Or maybe I'm thinking of Ann Arbor.
24: You are probably thinking of Zingermans in Ann Arbor.
25: I sure am now, which doesn't do me much good 600 miles away. Thanks a lot.
Isn't the saddest thing about Althouse's post that it's a transparent effort to push her "Best Centrist Blog" cred, when she's down 2:1 and has No.Plausible.Hope. of winning her silly contest?
Or was that being taken as read? I have a headache today, I'm not doing unspoken assumptions very well.
Has anyone seen the new entry? About going to a conservaitve conference:
"I am struck -- you may think it is absurd for me to be suddenly struck by this -- but I am struck by how deeply and seriously libertarians and conservatives believe in their ideas. I'm used to the way lefties and liberals take themselves seriously and how deeply they believe. Me, I find true believers strange and -- if they have power -- frightening. And my first reaction is to doubt that they really do truly believe.
One of the reasons 9/11 had such a big impact on me is that it was such a profound demonstration of the fact that these people are serious. They really believe.
I need to be more vigilant."
Althouse compares conservatives to terrorists? She needs to be more vigilant about taking them seriously? Has there been some kind of intervention?
If we had been more vigilant against conservatives on 9/11...
Althouse is striking me as someone who wants to be a big-time conservative blogger, but not only lacks the chops, but lacks some of the starry-eyed true believer mentality. The problem is, the only way she knows how to blog is by assaulting the opposition like she is a true believer, because that's what the Big Boys do.
Actually, that entry Trevor cites gives me some hope. If Althouse spends more time in real life surrounded by RedState cultural warriors, maybe she'll start to read her comments section differently.
30: Unless the comments section has changed a ton since I stopped visiting, the RedStaters tendency to preface anything with "I love Althouse, Atrios is teh Sux0r" seems to make that unlikely.
I voted for Ann, thus canceling out my prior vote from yesterday and leaving me neutral and feeling clean. I can't hate the crazy.
I don't know when you stopped reading, Pooh, but pretty much only the stubborn and the crazy are still posting at RedState now: the kind of people who would see "Project Runway" or "American Idol" as symptions of our civilizational decline and leftist propaganda for promiscuous use of birth control. Not amusing!
(I don't think I've ever notice Althouse's name pop up there, though I don't read very deeply.)
Tim, would you feel better or worse if I told you that was flat ridiculous?
33: Sorry for the confusion JM, I was speaking of Althouse's redstater-like commentariat rather than the actual denizens of Bizzaro World.
Oh. Well, yes, I'm also hoping she might learn to read past her commenters' flattery to take their reactionary views more seriously, but, as you note, flattery can be very persuasive.
Off-topic: I am miserably depressed. Can we have a new fun thread for the express purpose of fomenting fun?
Depends, slol. "That" being which?
Can we have a new fun thread for the express purpose of fomenting fun?
I was going to search Match.com for our semi-regular Friday night ridiculous profile party, but 1) they now require a sign-up before you can browse and 2) you humorless me-hater, you would have complained about that anyway.
That said, I'm sorry you're depressed, you humorless etc., and I'll look for something that might lead to fun.
I'm sorry to hear that you're depressed, Jones. I'm also sorry to have to say that I fear we lack critical mass for fun-generating threads.
You people are just addicted to silly contrarianism. Berkeley's a nice place.
37: No, not miserable depression! Miserable depression sucks ass. If no one here will be fun, I recommend an old Marilyn Monroe movie and a box of chocolate and a big pot of chai or something that isn't booze (though fuck it, if you want booze, have booze), and just fucking sit in bed and veg out. That kind of thing usually gets me through the really bad days okay.
Berkeley will always be home to me, B. It's just that living there for thirty years has done very silly things to my parents' voting patterns. In Berkeley, they're stodgy conservatives, but if they were plunked down in any other part of the country, they'd instantly become frothing radicals. They're aware of this, however, which distinguishes them from La Althouse.
I'm sorry, but anyone who calls Madison a remote outpost cannot possibly be taken seriously. Ever been to, say, the Amazon or Congo Basin, Ms. Althouse?
I recommend an old Marilyn Monroe movie and a box of chocolate and a big pot of chai or something that isn't booze (though fuck it, if you want booze, have booze), and just fucking sit in bed and veg out.
B, if I did that every time I felt miserably depressed I'd end up like Mr. Creosote.
43: Oh, well, yeah. But whatever, being moderate in Berkely or another liberal haven is nothing to be ashamed of.
45: Not *every* time. Just on the really black days.
Or hey, popcorn! Not fattening, and you can chomp it down for *hours*.
44: It's one of those 'flyover country'-type jokes that are so emblematic of intolerance when liberals tell them.
My prescription for miserable depression is to learn a new physical activity that is sufficiently difficult and demanding that you won't be able to think about anything but the task at hand for a few hours. So lately I've taken up ice skating. On weekdays, it's cheap!
Of course, on really miserably depressed days it's hard to make myself get out of the house and take part in any activity at all. Hence, sitting at home, surfing the net, &c.
What I mean is, I'm sorry, strasmangelo jones. Feel better.
53 is sad. You're a bad person, Ogged.
This is an excellent thread full of jokes.
50 actually strikes me as pretty good advice. It doesn't quite help for the times I tend to be most depressed (dead of night, torrential rainstorms, other events which blot out the sky and prevent or discourage outdoor activity) but it's a decent start nonetheless.
What do *your* sweatpants say on the ass, Ogged?
Also, I would laugh at 53 had the cold, cruel horror of life not already choked the last vestige of humor from my withered soul.
57: What about this? Santa is thinking of getting PK one.
60: Are you sure that's fun? Because it looks suspiciously like boringness cleverly disguised in a plastic fun costume.
The balance board part is more fun than the maze part, I bet.
Something about little hard round balls sitting on an unbalanced surface on the floor just doesn't seem right to me, too.
Well, balance boards alone are cheaper, so I'm tempted to go that route. But PK likes mazes, and it's not like we're not used to little hard round balls rolling under the couch all the time *anyway*.
Plus, dudes. Balance board --> skateboarding and surfing prowess.
And Ogged thinks my kid's long hair is gonna keep him from getting laid. HA!
I would have to think that a pogo stick would be more fun than the ball-maze-balance-board. Do they even sell pogo sticks any more?
I can't believe I didn't tell the Irish construction worker joke in that thread.
(And actually balance boards *are* fun. Boyfriend's friend-with-a-kid has one, and I once took PK over there for daddies' night. He and I ended up fighting over the thing.)
Pogo sticks are OUTSIDE toys. Balance boards are more flexible. Plus, again, surfing. Skateboarding. People, you're not seeing the vision here.
I know, my surfer friend's balance board was huge fun. It's over a cylinder rather than a sphere -- this kind. Wish I'd had one when I was a kid.
Yeah, I've looked at the roller ones. From what I've read, the sphere type actually force you to learn to balance 360, which seems like it would be a better idea, no?
Hm, that Indo training package isn't much more expensive than the maze thing. And you just know I can find it locally and not have to pay shipping.
If your vision is training your son to be a surfing, skateboarding tombeur, no, I'm not seeing your vision. I went to college in Southern California and mostly avoided the surfers and skaters. That said, a balance board could be fun for a kid.
I've never used one like that, but my impression is that that one with the maze is much easier because it's low to the ground, while the Indo's pivot-drum-thing is about a foot in diameter. And it isn't attached to the board, if you couldn't tell, which makes it a lot more athletic. (Watch the videos.)
66: I'll bite. What Irish construction worker joke?
Hm. Well, I'll stop by the local surf shop and see what they say.
PK already has a skateboard, and he can't really ride it very well. I think he'll get a blast out of it, and there's no way I'm not getting him (and me) surf lessons at some point. Plus, JM, he's a little young for you anyway.
29 is a fine, fine observation.
Ah, n/m. Google works just fine if you can spell.
A tombeur is a guy who makes the girls tomber. It's old-fashioned slang by this point.
What Irish construction worker joke?
An Irish construction worker—or rather construction worker in spe, for, you see, he's currently out of work—is going around London looking for a job, talking to various foremen who tend to give him a hard time, but no employment. He finally meets one who, though skeptical, is willing to entertain his application; after several questions as to his work history (copious) and qualifications (irrefragable), the foreman tells him, ok, I'll hire you if you can answer this questions: what's the difference between a joist and a girder? And the Irishman replies, oh, it's too easy: the one wrote Ulysses and the other wrote Faust.
See, w-lfs-n is willing to supply me with fun.
"See 83 makes me think I should make a pun on fun and fungible" think I, and then I'm like oh shit, I have similar thoughts to that a lot don't I, and what it is exactly like is the character of the Gnat (not Lileks' daughter) in the third chapter of Through the Looking Glass, which chapter I was just reading with Sylvia for her bedtime story. What to make of this I am not sure.
Also: "Give Me Back My Name" by the Talking Heads fits in with Alice's experience in the following chapter.
I like balance boards, but the maze on it would piss me off.
Can we invite Althouse to be a commenter here? I don't mean that she should be able to post anything. But a formal invitation to comment, I think that would be nice. Perhaps I will send her one.
Who gave text unfogged stationary?
anyway, with all these posts, it's clearly what labs is after. ok, off to compose.
Thanks a bunch, ben. Here I am, a bottle of vodka in one hand, a joint in the other and a keyboard at the ready, and you say "irrefragable" which just happens to be every other word in Jack London's diaries/letters/essays.
See y'all later, I'm off to work on my dissertation...
Thank god I looked up the pronunciation of that word just now, or I might have seriously embarrassed myself later. I blame Doom and its ilk, for heightening the salience of 'frag'.
How can I cause a divorce without being overt about it?
Have a threesome with the partners in marriage, and satisfy the wife far more than the husband thinks he ever could. The gnawing interior self-doubt will turn into exterior hostility, and within at most a decade they'll be a divorce.
Your role will of course be obvious, but the important thing is that your role qua homewrecker will be well hidden, since everyone involved will think you were just after a threesome.
You could also lace one of the happy couple's coffee with divorceweed.
It's obvious why Adam doesn't want your advice, Ben.
Ben is totally ignoring 93.
You're right ... it so obviously bears the mark of my genius that everyone would know where he got it.
No, no adultery. That would be overt.
I mean, OF COURSE I'd satisfy her more than this douchebag. Obviously. But that's too obvious.
Meantime I am listening to "Steel Guitar Rag" and feeling happy about it, and wondering if Adam will fill us in a little on the story behind his request.
Get someone *else* to knock her up!
Adam has only now, spurted on by the distance that now separates them, that he's in love with Anthony.
you could frame the husband for possession of teh kiddie pron.
Oh wow man. I need new HTML tags to express the groovitude of this video. And contrast with this. Let the beautiful music fill your tattered psyche Adam and quit wishing your friends' relationships ended.
or you could draw the husband inexorably into romance. Soon he realizes he can no longer live without you, at which time, you spring upon him that, in fact, you do not love him. this will draw him into a tizzy, and he will cease to be a satisfactory husband. THEN you frame him for teh kiddie pron.
Ooh, seduce the husband, then somehow arrange to have the wife find out he's gay!
OR you could introduce his wife to Ben.
115 to 112 and 114. Sue me, I'm drinking.
Ben, I trust, would entreat this wife on Kotsko's behalf. Being especially skilled in the arts of wordistry, Ben would, no doubt, engender sweet bliss for Kotsko.
As he so often manages to do on his own behalf, yes.
Nothing could engender sweet bliss for me. God wants me to suffer, and he ultimately gets what he wants.
Adam, newsflash: he doesn't really exist.
No, no, that's Satan. Who's punishing you for lusting after married women.
Oh no wait, that doesn't work either.
Damn.
124: Both. How's that dissertation coming along?
Weird how on Friday nights this SEK character comes out of the woodwork.
charming ben?
Some of the seductive wordistry I'd deploy (ever on adam's behalf):
Let me get my hands
on your mammary glands
and let me get your head
on the conjugal bed
I say, I say, I say
This comment brought to you by my inability to tell two different songs apart.
129: Yeah, that's gonnna work.
Speaking of married women, I gotta jet or I'm going to be late picking up my man at LAX.
This is the stupidest thing ever. I should never initiate conversations.
No no! See how well it worked for teo? My advice is golden.
Hey did you guys know that tonight, thanks to a solar storm, the aurora borealis is supposed to be visible from the northern US? And not even that far north either, like my latitude. It is unfortunately cloudy here so instead I am sitting indoors and drinking rum and listening to John Fahey and contemplating Kotsko's problems. But if any of you live as far north as I do and it's clear out, you should totally go outside and check it out.
Hm. There seems to be a limit to how much hell you can raise by yourself, when everybody else is living in clearer climes and has gone out to look at the northern lights.
See how well it worked for teo?
Jury's still out on that one, I'm afraid.
136: I live in a clearer but more southerly clime, and would be happy to assist you in hell-raising.
138: That and the academic calendar.
Academic calendar is overrated. What's the worst that can happen?
I should just never talk to people. Life would be easier.
143: did you take my advice and take a walk on the sunny side of the street?
Dude, just take your fucking ligature and go home. We've had enough of your Christmas cheer.
"Christmas" s/b "Hannukah"
Hell, it could be leftover Thanksgiving cheer for all I care. The point remains!
(That is to say: I prefer to think of myself as a non-observant Jew rather than as a non-observant Xtian, even though both describe me.)
What's not to understand?
The academic calendar is compelling you to do something. Or so you believe. But what is the worst that the academic calendar can bring to bear on you as a means of compulsion?
That, and Chandon straight from the bottle.
The words, and how they are organized into sentences.
152: It's more that the academic calendar is preventing me from doing something.
Actually, after trying to parse out the reference (safer than writing code!) I stand by my statement.
The words, and how they are organized into sentences.
New hover-text.
Isn't the semester almost over? Even if you have papers to write or finals to take, requests for company to make such things more bearable are usually positively received. In my experience.
safer than writing code
Ooh! can we talk about programming languages?
(Ducks)
The semester is, in fact, entirely over. That's the problem.
Not that it's a huge problem. Just suboptimal.
Can we argue about whether "partially clothed genital region, displayed with intent to arouse" should be considered inappropriate? You'd think the answer is obvious, but yet people disagree.
inappropriate in what context?
(It's all about context.)
Optimality, like the academic calendar, is overrated. You talk to women with the schedule that you have, not the schedule that you wish you had.
Although, one of my co-workers went to Teo U (as I understand it), and from his descriptions of the townies, if the semester being over means that most of the students are leaving, that could be a problem.
Does that video have any intent other than to arouse? I would say it's appropriateness has to be judged by whether it meets its goal. It did not arouse me; but I am fairly liquored up so it's hard to know whether it would have done in my more normal head.
Right. But the terms of service of that web site prohibits the posting of "inappropriate content", and when alerted to such content, they take it down. Hence the question about the "partially clothed genital region" standard.
(It occurs to me suddenly that this video might have more immediate application to Adam's situation.)
Wow. I kept waiting for her boobs to rupture and ooze some horrible mixture of blood, fat, and silicone down her chest, convinced it was some weird new trend in video manipulated psuedo-snuff.
167 -- well like I say, I don't think you could consider that inappropriate if the video is intended as wank fodder -- it would be totally appropriate to that context.
But in situations out of wank-fodder, it should be considered inappropriate?
Curses. I feel like it's this kind of video that got that website where it is today, and that by removing it, they are betraying their roots. They need Gene Hackman from Hoosiers to tell them to concentrate on basics - shooting, passing, rebounding. Or in their case, boob shots, Naruto, and Family Guy.
Most of the students at Teo U do leave for winter break. I am among them, as is she (although she's actually only leaving for a little while). Therein lies the problem.
Kotsko, are you hoping that this woman will initiative divorce proceeding so you can sleep with her? Or is your interest altruistic?
If the former is the case, you're in for a weird world of pain, and that's presuming you lure her out of her marriage.
Do either of you plan on returning after winter break? And how soon are the imminent departures? I presume they are to the opposite sides of the country...
We'll both be back after winter break. I left about a week ago, and I think she's leaving tomorrow (although she'll only be gone a few days). Like I said, this isn't a huge deal, it's just irritating.
And yes, opposite sides of the country.
175: I'm hoping that she'd get a divorce so that I'd be absolutely stuck with her.
It's a scam if you e-mail someone on Craigslist and she asks you to buy some kind of gift card and send her the pin number, right? Because if not, I've got some backtracking to do!
That is irritating. But it's sort of why they invented IM. Is the winter break over in early January, or mid-late January?
180: hard to see how that can be a scam. If she asked you to buy yourself a gift card and send her the PIN number, maybe.
I trust you're joking, Kotsko, but I found myself at one point in a very similiar position to the woman you're describing here. It was pretty horrible, and for a long time.
Funny thing -- the ad promised a married woman who's looking to get revenge on her cheating husband. The scenario grabbed me. The whole gift card thing didn't. She claims that it's so that she can get gas to come meet me. I don't want to be even more of an idiot than I already have been (viz., pretty much totally drunk by 8pm on Friday, sitting in my apartment by myself, asking the Internet At Large how I can manage to wreck my own life).
Jackmormon, You're too kind.
This is the kind of thing where I need to come up with a fucking pseudonym. (Or a fucking pseudonym: "Call me the Unfogged Kid!")
Mid-late January (the 22nd, I think). I'll be back somewhat before then, though. And yeah, we've been e-mailing.
Is it a gift card to Chevron? Google Jessica Wolcott before following through off something on Craigslist personals.
Given that I've been a significant percentage below the poverty level my entire adult life, I doubt I have much to lose in a scam. Let's say she empties out my bank account -- oh no! $200, gone forever!!!
Only your chains. And your dignity. And, if the husband is a vengeful/armed type, your life.
really really really don't do this Adam. Have a wank, get up tomorrow morning, order pancakes and coffee.
My e-mail conversation with this Craigslist woman is already over -- no need to worry.
(My longest ever Craigslist conversation was with a woman who was majoring in something called "fashion design." We didn't have a lot in common, as it turned out. She had very cool glasses, though.)
Have a wank is solid advice, though.
Who steals my chains steals trash. 'Tis locked, unlocked; bound me, binds him, and has held slaves in thousands.
If this is not the reason YouTube exists, I don't know what is.
This and this must surely be in a close second and third.
191: See, normally that last one would have me reaching for the nearest sharp object and muttering "down, not across", but Bob Ross's voice makes it aaalaaalllll go away.
133: I saw it from a plane last night. Just looked like a vague glow--wouldn't have guessed it was that unless the pilot said so.
It was a cool flight. We left out of Laguardia, and it was foggy, so it looked like you were seeing the skyline from above the clouds.
Assuming everything checks out in the cold light of tomorrow morning, I do believe I just finished my last paper of the quarter.
Huzzah!
Congrats, ben. That's always a good feeling.
Where is B? I am feeling shabby and dowdy because my roommate has a friend visiting whose shoes cost more than my wardrobe. B could provide pictures of shoes to cheer me up.
shabby and dowdy
Great name for my new folk-rock duo.
Doubtless this is the case and I am being presumptuous, but just to be sure: Cala, you do know about The Manolo, right?
The Manolo is fun! Not that I could wear those shoes, but delightful.
YouTube: the most powerful source for http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uR9YmWk_X-ggood in the world today?
Also, look! Ogged's long-lost Brazilian twin!
Wow, I totally fail at HTML.
198: Wow, I totally forgot about Teeny Little Super Guy. Thanks, Ned.
Someone please blog this. Click on the powerpoint presentation!
Ack! Mad PDF errors trying to get past the first page of that. But, oh my, does it sounds interesting.
It's pretty great. I have no idea if it's good strategy (though it couldn't be worse than whatever the strategy is now), but it sure is entertaining. Too bad the guy got killed.
I thought 210 was about Teeny Little Super Guy until I realized that the word "strategy" didn't fit in.
I learned a good life lesson from Teeny Little Super Guy tonight: it's okay to make mistakes, as long as you learn from them. That's good strategy.
TLSG taught me that if you're nervous about approaching people and asking to be included, just ask them. The worst they can say is no.
Oh, and no more PDF troubles. Working fine now.
I think we're long past the point where we could win in Anbar, but I wish there had been more PowerPoints like that and fewer like this.
It's hard to argue with the point that men with mustaches are more virile trustworthy all-around-better than men without.
More seriously, one can readily see why an Army captain would put security over anything else, and it's too bad that the people in charge of this thing were more interested in their creative destruction magical thinking transformation agenda. Idiots.
That is a wonderful presentation.
I think my favorite part is when he introduces the sheikh: "In spite of many, many conquering armies trying to remove him, this man and his family have been involved in the local politics here since recorded time began."
The "shoes" thing on You Tube is teh awesome.
Cala, sorry about last night--I was driving to and from LAX. Which is kind of a haul, although oddly pleasant to take the 405 late at night and be able to go the speed limit and everything!
