From reading this site, I've learned that apparently there are a lot of Mexicans who are Muslims.

Did you listen to the first story on the most recent This American Life? God, I like to cried.

Hooray! My congressman!

(What a twerp.)

If those people don't stop demanding that we use the Koran to swamp our resources, America as we know it is over.

Diversity visas?! I wonder if Goode knows that there are fewer than 50,000 of them granted each year. And that a pretty small number of them actually go to anyone from the Middle East.

I'm trying to figure out how to swamp resources with a Koran, and I'm imagining that it's going to be sort of like fording the river in Oregon Trail.

Doesn't this go to Jane Galt's point about how you couldn't flush a Koran down the toilet, because it would clog?

So what you're saying is that the Koran creates the swamp, by clogging the toilets, and then drowns our resources in it?

O brave new world...

You sure it's wise, revealing your local paper like that Labs?

That's sort of vaguely what I had in mind, yeah.

Huh. Even fewer diversity visas granted to ME countries than I would have guessed:

http://travel.state.gov/visa/immigrants/types/types_1317.html

I guess it's too much to expect that our Congressmen will know what they're talking about.

What's more disappointing than the sentiment expressed is that a sitting member of Congress can't write his way out of a paper bag.

12: That's not fair, apo. The paper bag in question wasn't wet, so it's tensile strength was most fearsome and resistant to writing.

Almost as fearsome as your resistance to "its," Mitch.

Slol, I did hear that, and I was very, very angry. I hate people like that 4th grade teacher, with their vile combination of sanctimony and idiocy. Too bad the upshot for her was "diversity training" instead of "you're fired."

God, I like to cried.

What?

What was the story?

Keith Ellison, the third of five sons, was raised in Detroit, Michigan by his parents Leonard and Clida Ellison, a psychiatrist and a social worker respectively.[2][8] Ellison and three of his siblings became lawyers while the other became a doctor. One of his brothers is also the pastor of the Baptist "Church of the New Covenant" in Detroit.[8] Ellison was influenced by the involvement of his family in the civil rights movement, including the work of his grandfather as a member of the NAACP in Louisiana.[2] He graduated from the University of Detroit Jesuit High School and Academy in 1981 where he had been active in sports and the student Senate.[8][9] At age nineteen, while attending Wayne State University in Detroit, Ellison (who had been raised Roman Catholic) converted to Islam.

That's not the story.

17: Irrelevant. If we closed the borders, people wouldn't even *know* about those foreign religions.

Twentieth!

2: I actually did start crying, listening to that story. I wanted to punch that teacher in the face.

The story, LB, was about a girl who was (I gather) the only Muslim in her school or grade or class. Her 4th grade teacher marked the first anniversary of 9-11 by distributing and teaching a book that explained the attack by appealing to the fact that Muslims hate Americans and Christians. She later taught the class that Jesus' blood would cleanse their sins, and that only by believing in Jesus could one get to heaven. She failed to discourage, then actually encouraged, the ostracism and teasing of the student. The girl and her family suffered a great deal, and eventually the father sort of fell apart.

The story is as described under "Act One" for the 12/15 airing, here.

Oh, that's horrendous. There are some terrible people out there.

Junior Mint, we could form a posse.

One thing that bothered me is that the family could move to a number of places where there's a big enough muslim community so that this could not happen; instead, the father had a desire to go back to the West Bank (!?-- not a great place to raise kids).

God, I like to cried.
What?

Are you querying my diction, or the content of the story, ben?

The girl was absent for few days -- she was so traumatized by her mistreatment that she fell ill -- and when she got back to class her teacher basically said, "Why are you here? You're not welcome back in this class," and then had her sit while the rest of the kids taunted her for the rest of the day.

The teacher really should have had her teaching license revoked.

I'm certainly questioning your diction. Should "cried" be "cry"?

I was pretty late to the party with #27, I see.

25: FL, the father kind of sounded like an asshole, I'm sorry to say.

we could form a posse

I was sorely tempted to look up the incident. It seemed like there were enough clues as to the actual locale that we could go burn a ... whatever you burn to intimidate bigots.

I'm certainly questioning your diction. Should "cried" be "cry"?

No. The meaning is "I just about cried," or "I nearly cried."

Agreed, Junior Mint, he did. We'll deal with him after we deal with the teacher.

31: Burn a bigot?

Strongly worded editorial?

If we paid teachers less, we could hire ones that don't try to get uppity and pull this kind of crap.

Slol, thank you for that link. I didn't realize they'd started doing free podcasts. 'Bout time.

That teacher *definitely* should have been fired. And then drawn and quartered.

Viz.

I'm not sure that "viz." means what you think it means, earner.

Nice citations, slol..."I LIKE TO CRIED WHAEN I READ DAT COMMENT..BUT ITS NICE TO KNOW DAT U HAVE REAL FRIENDS NU KNOW WE KEEP IT REAL ALL DA TIME..MUCH LUV U KNO WE GONE WILD OUT ..." -- you're in some great company.

I wondered about that. What should I have said?

My anger is fueled by living near an awful lot of people like that teacher, people who are shamefully ignorant of other ways of living and smugly confident that their customs are best. Did we ever get an apology? Some awareness on her part that she had done something awful? I just want to know that she finally understood, but that's unlikely.

I love 36.

I can't help it if I'm more authentically of the people than you, Ned.

"e.g."

I thought that was right. I can't remember how to translate it from Latin, but isn't the usage "Here are some examples?"

36 is indeed the hero. I will now use my boundless anger to cook dinner.

I will now use my boundless anger to cook dinner.

With a suffiicent supply of earnest, public-radio fueled outrage, we could resolve the energy crisis once and for all.

According to Wikipedia, "viz." should be used in place of "more specifically", or "namely", or "that is to say", followed by a more precise statement of what came before.

e.g.:

"I have three brains, viz. the left one, the right one, and the other one."

"My favorite sexual act, viz. the rusty trombone, is no longer harmful to society."

"viz." is generally translated as/used for "namely". "I can produce some examples, viz., [examples follow]" makes sense, but "It means so-and-so, viz., [examples follow]" is perplexing.

Almost as fearsome as your resistance to "its," Mitch.

From w-lfs-n, it would have been annoying. But coming from you (and from the state that is for lovers), it feels like love.

Though I wish you'd spell my name correctly.

I will not use pretentious abbreviations
I will not use pretentious abbreviations
I will not use pretentious abbreviations
I will not use pretentious abbreviations....

"more specifically", or "namely", or "that is to say"

The words you ar elooking for are "to wit".

Almost as fearsome as your resistance to "its," Mitch.

For the record, I believe that bitchiness on the its/it's question is always warranted.

Sadly, I agree with you, but I also screw it up all the time. For some reason I type as if I were being dictated to -- I homophone all over the place, and then have to go back and fix the ones I got wrong.

Note to 53: is anybody else familiar with a rule that when you are reading aloud, "viz." should be pronounced "to wit"?

but "It means so-and-so, viz., [examples follow]" is perplexing.

The thing is, it isn't perplexing. I wasn't perplexed, and neither were you. What it is is technically incorrect. But who fucking cares? They're just blog comments, people. Blog comments.

56- yes.

What's more disappointing than the sentiment expressed is that a sitting member of Congress can't write his way out of a paper bag.

In the TPM Muckraker article, Goode's spokesman claims to have written the article.

52 is exactly right

I homophone all over the place

I am simply not up to the job of meeting the comedic potential of this straight line. Can someone else step in?

Dammit, see? "Straight line." There was another one.

OMG, listening to this podcast now? I'm channelling Labs's anger.

What *really* pisses me off is that none of the other kids in the class seem to have stood up to the teacher. What the fuck is wrong with those prejudiced little brats and their asshole parents?

test

Kids won't stand up to a teacher who is telling them they are right and somebody else is wrong. Kids won't even stand up to a teacher who is telling them they are subhuman idiots. Teachers are all-powerful authority figures, at least in elementary school. Zimbardo experiment and all that.

That's why this person became a teacher, so she could spread her beliefs to people who would believe them if they came from an authority figure.

64 is not true.

Which part?

Yeah, it would have been nice, but it's not the job of fucking kids to set adults straight on racism.

You know, that family's going to head back to Palestine, and people are going to say, how was America? and they're going to say, full of bigoted bastards and they even teach it in their schools.

65 - Perhaps they won't stand up to said teacher if they're hearing the same bullshit crap at home?

I work with some worthless excuses for humans who espouse equally repugnant ideas. I would love to have continued in the belief that working the in world of technology one would rarely find racist assholes (if ever). Crap.

"in the"

I didn't say it was their job. I said it makes me angry that not one of them did it.

Gah! Hey! Spoiler warnings? Some of us haven't listened to the podcast yet and were holding out hope for a happy ending in which all the kids in the class sat in a circle, held hands, and sang "We Shall Overcome."

The dad of that litle girl should go to the teachers place, saw the head off of a live goat right there on the front lawn, and hurl the head through the living room window. People who fuck with a kid should expect that someone's going to come after them.

I'll re-ask the question in 66: which part?

In a way I think must be rare among highly literate people, I think I had many more bad teachers than good.

And some were not merely bad or indifferent, but actually abetted such bullying as went on, and I'm not thinking about myself.

So while this is worse, and more cruel and damaging than anything I witnessed, and I agree that this shouldn't be tolerated, I'm not as shocked as apparently some of you are.

Some kids will stand up to teachers, and I doubt that the teacher's motivation for teaching was to be an asshole. Though I care more about the former than the latter.

I'll re-ask the question in 66 too.

I don't remember ever knowing a child who fought back against an unreasonable teacher, at least pre-puberty. Teachers are all-powerful. They may be evil, but they can send you to the principal, give you detention, send you to jail. But if you keep your head down, you get away from the teacher at the end of the year.

It's during puberty that the idea of a principled rebellion, rather than just a selfish tantrum, may exist, I think.

I doubt that the teacher's motivation for teaching was to be an asshole

Oh, come on. I'm sure one of the teacher's motivations for teaching was to instruct children in the proper way to understand the glory of God and our lord Jesus Christ, which in this case manifested as being an asshole.

As for the other part, I guess some third-grader somewhere might stand up against an all-powerful adult who is complimenting him at the expense of another kid. But he would have to be pretty secure that his parents were more powerful than the school.

Kids don't think about things like the power of their parents vis-a-vis the school. They do think about whether or not their parents will support them, though, which is different.

Somewhat. I can get hoping that the kids would have stood up to the teacher, but being angry at a bunch of nine-year-olds just is an emotional reaction to the story that surprises me. Even with supportive parents it's probably far more likely that the kid comes home and tells his parents what's going on rather than standing up in school when surrounded by active bigotry.

Especially if it's active bigotry backed up by the word of God.

It makes me angry because presumably some of those little kids were that little girl's friends, whereas their teacher obviously never was.

It's quite likely she didn't have many friends. Kids get marked as 'other' and ostracized easily enough when there isn't a teacher stoking it.

I'm not saying what the kids were doing was praiseworthy, but my sense of it is that it would have been an extraordinarily self-possessed nine-year-old to take on a teacher and a fourth grade class.

Kids have good instincts like that.

friends are pretty worthless, for stuff like that. they're good to have a beer with though.

I am perpetually misunderstood.

No you're not.

Maybe it would help if you used more semi-colons.

Oh, wait. I misread 84. Yeah. Yeah, you are.

LOL, there's an ambiguous comment.

I revert to hating all of you including Stanley.

Harumph. And I was going to wear a suit for you.

If it's a nice suit, maybe I'll change my mind. Probably not though.

Would you two go to an opera already?

Nah. Idomeneo sounds like a let-down.

I have a friend who slapped her teacher, a nun, in elementary school. The nun hit her - with a ruler or something? - and nobody had ever told her that nuns could hit her, so she hit back. Apparantly made quite an impression on the school.

I prefer Jack Handey's take on opera.

I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I bet you can really see it in those genitals.

Nunslapping deserves a quiet night.

As a child, my uncle came home one day from Catholic school crying that he didn't want to go to hell. Seems the corporal-punishment addicted nun told the kids that if they told their parents what went on in the classroom, they'd go to hell. He believed her, and was terrified, and hopefully reassured by my grandmother, pretty much a force of nature, storming into the school, telling off the nun, the pastor, and pulling them into the public schools in about the space of an hour.

So I can believe pretty easily that a teacher could frighten kids, especially kids whose earliest real-world memory may very well be 9/11, telling them that that girl's people made the towers fall down and that you'd go to hell for being like her.

Here's a kid in Kearny who is objecting to preaching in the classroom and he's the one that's unpopular.

What *really* pisses me off is that none of the other kids in the class seem to have stood up to the teacher. What the fuck is wrong with those prejudiced little brats and their asshole parents.

I'm surprised that you're more pissed off at the kids and their parents than you are at the teacher. Teaching requires a license, parenting does not. The teacher abused her power and the trust placed in her, the kids were just being kids. I'm angry that none of the parents spoke up, and sad that none of the kids did, but for me the blame lies much more heavily on the teacher and the administration that backed her up. Getting mad at kids for being mislead by their parents and teachers seems like blaming the victim.

Also, speaking up in class, particularly in a way that challenges the teacher or the group, is something that not every kid has the temperament for, no matter how supportive he/she knows his/her parents will be.

And, the story does mention some of her friends resisting for a little while. The fact that the teacher was teaching from a book seemed to hold a lot of sway with them, i.e. I think one of them said something like "it's in a book, so it must be true."

But Matthew, who was raised in the Ethical Culture Society, a humanist religious and educational group, said all of his comments were in response to something the teacher said.

Hey, the Ethical Culture doodads are marrying my sister! Who knew they were a legit operation?

The Ethical Culture doodads marry your sister.

I can only hope it's that good.

The impatient may wish to start at 4:16.

That was awesome. Is the whole movie that good?

Nunslapping deserves a quiet night.

I don't know what this means, but it's definitely poetry.

"Semi-colons?" Damn. Am I supposed to be hyphenating "semicolon?"

105: See here.

mp3 and giant turtle picture here.

Always with the one-upmanship, eh apostropher?

Giant turtle picture, dude.

I didn't click your link earlier out of spite.

But now when I do, it's some CGI crap? What is that, a still from Myst II or something?

I think discerning readers will prefer the elegant simplicity of my link.

Stanley, the rest of the movie is that good, but the goodness is more spread around. The wedding scene is something of a set piece. (The movie is adapted from a play, and they didn't take great pains to pretend otherwise.) I'd see it again, if that answers your question.

What is that, a still from Myst II or something?

Hell if I know, but it cracks me up.

111: added to the queue; thanks.

(Ladies, note my semicolons; rawr.)

I once spoke to a young lad in a London pub, who said "tell me something about yourself!" I said, "well, my favorite punctuation mark is the semicolon, and my second favorite is the m-dash."

The look on his face was a thing to behold.

n.b. I was drunk. I'm not usually that much of a pretentious ass.

"em dash".

w-lfs-n, on the other hand, is.

my favorite punctuation mark is the semicolon, and my second favorite is the m-dash

Omigod, those are my favorites too! Do you want to, um, get a cup of coffee or something?

What was I thinking? "Omigod, those are my favorites too! Do you want to, um, get a cup of coffee or something?" s/b "Omigod, those are my favorites too; do you want to, um, get a cup of coffee or something?"

Too late now, exclamation-point boy.

It's okay; I doubt his wife would have approved.

Of course, I'm going home with w-lfs-n, so I can speak objectively.

OT, but I feel obliged to report that I've just come back from a performance of The Nutcracker with my daughters and, wouldn't you know it, one of the snowflakes was black and the Snow Queen was Korean. Naturally, I protested loudly and insisted that the production be shut down. It was, I believe, the ethical thing to do.

Yes, yes, but did the Snow Queen have a nice unit?

Don't answer that.

121: Actually, my wife has no problem with exclamation points.

I would assume Jesus' wife would have little problem with him having coffee. Unless coffee=sex, in which case, don't bother, because I'm just going to tell all my friends how great it was anyway, and we can't have that.

123 fills me with dread. Who knows but that during 2016's Nutcracker performances, the tin soldiers may be Islamofascist militia?

Hey Mac users, I thought you should know that if you do control-option-apple-8, the colors invert so that everything black is white and everything white is black. It's very cool and futuristic-looking and much easier on the eyes. I am saved.

127: Well, seeing as how we're unlikely to meet extrainternetically in the foreseeable future, why don't we just tell our friends how great it was anyway.

That control-option-apple-8 thing is totally trippy, BTW.

.sdrawkcab tuo semoc txet ruoy lla ,8 fo daetsni 7 nwod dloh uoy fi ,dnA .eduD

tuo semoc txet ruoy lla

I'm quoting from the new Mel Gibson film.

129. that is so, so cool! I can't believe I've never heard of that before.

.edud ,pu dekcuf ylrojam si taht ,aohW.

.soahc eht fo tuo esnes ekam ot gnitrats m'I .dnim ym gniwolb s'tI

132: Okay, that took me a minute. Teh funny.

Usually I'm not so fond of esnes ekam ot gnitrats, but I'll make an exception here.

;hsadm& :krow t'nod seititne LMTH taht si melborp enO

Wait, I'm not even on a mac.

reverse-text isn't working for me

Wait, how did you do it if you're not on a mac?

.rehtie cam a no ton m'I ?epopdenotS, tahw oD

esol uoy

Okay, it's cheating if y'all are just reversing it by hand.

Hey wait, I thought you were kidding about the control-option-apple-7 thing. It doesn't work for me. I just wrote 134 backwards.

.nam hsifgnik norp het yb dekcah neeb sah metsys ruoy esuaceb s'ti krow t'nseod ygniht esrever elppa het fi taht erehwemos daer I

I know it was all in good fun, Jesus, but I can't help feeling a little played.

That's just a hoax, text. There's no such thing as the "nam hsifgnik norp".

.eveileb uoy evah dluow nam hsifgnik norp het os ro

Can we go back to the presidents at least? That was less annoying.

Mac envy. Yes, many people have it.

Good night, all.

Likewise.

When I was at school, corporal punishment was still allowed. They used a heavy split leather strap called a 'tawse'.

A couple of times I saw kids refuse to accept 'the belt', which takes bravery. More bravery than just being belted or speaking out in class. In the case of one mate of mine, the teacher gave him it anyway, so his dad went down to the school and had 'words' with the teacher. [iirc, the 'words' left bruises on the teacher's face]

re: the kids standing up to teacher thing and speaking out, though ...

When I was about 7, I stood up in front of a school assembly [with all the kids in the school and their parents] and corrected our minister [a fire and brimstone Ulster protestant ranter] on some biblical fact or other. Stopped him mid-speech.

'It was the Babylonians, not the Someotherbunchians'.

Total silence.

'Oh yes, I think you're right, Matthew'

[I must have been a smart-arsed little bastard, but standing up to teachers and authority figures? No problem.]

That's a grand story. I recall when my first-grade teacher Sister Noel put Noreen in the trashcan for "back-talking."

Apparently, many of us went home and told of this event, for Sister Noel didn't teach anymore after that year.

So, is anyone still up? I just got back from a bar. I know, I'm supposed to be writing a paper.

For shame, leblanc.

I'm still up. Of course, it's earlier for me.

(That said there's a (very) off-chance I'll have to appear on TELEVISION! tomorrow. So I should be doing other things, too.)

I still have all day tomorrow to write it! My sleep schedule is so fucked. I went to a bar and drank bloody maries (marys? what do you guys think?) and watch some stupid couple make out for like forty-five minutes. It was pretty boring until the chick next to me mentioned that her father had a 7-inch cock. I'm not sure what that's all about.

Like sleeping, perhaps?

Howdy, Mr. Filo, by the way.

Television?! What for? Or is it top-secret Stanley business.

I'm a shameless hussy for public appearances. I was on NPR for like 30 seconds and I was ludicrously excited about it.

It was pretty boring until the chick next to me mentioned that her father had a 7-inch cock.

Flaccid or erect? Also, "marys."

Howdy to you too, Mr. Ley.

We didn't really get to that level of detail. I only noticed it because the bartender exclaimed, "Who's got a seven-inch cock?!"

The real question, though, is how long it was stretched. Did it rubberneck?

That's Filo Dilo to you.

I think the actual real question is how she knows that.

It's for work, yep. I'm the back-up guy.

Is there a back-up guy for the back-up guy?

Don't answer that.

The gathering on this thread may be the youngest mean age of Unfogged conversations of all time.

170: No, but I think the girl who's doing it will be fine. I really doubt I'll get the call to drive to DC tomorrow, but if so: adventure! Shaving (maybe)! And, fuck, where are my ties?!

And did they really make out for forty-five minutes? Certainly with some breaks, yes?

172: It's just like the holidays when you drink beers in the basement with your other young relatives. "Just don't wake up Emerson," we would say.

You're going to shave your Lincoln-beard? That's too bad.

Well, yeah they were "making out" for some value of "making out," some of it was just faces in unnecessarily close range, with goo-goo eyes. But several times over the course of at least thirty minutes, I looked over and they were doing nasty-to-look-upon open-mouthed kissing.

The young relatives in the basement know that if you stay up long enough, apostropher will get up and start drinking with you.

Teo's silence is incriminating. Were you in Chicago tonight, sir?

Were you in Chicago

No, he was in his daugher. That's why all the unnecessarily specific questions; he was trying to figure out if she'd outed him.

Why drink a bloody mary at such a late hour, I wondered.

I can't tell if that's a really dirty joke or not a joke at all.

Also, 178 confused me.

180: intention doesn't matter, yadda, yadda, but I really was wondering about drink selection.

It might have helped if I'd spelled "daughter" correctly.

I actually really enjoyed the bloody mary. I haven't had one in quite a while. But that's what I meant by my sleep schedule is all fucked up. 3 am feels like 6 pm to me.

Dude, it's seriously late for you. You crazy.

I'm here. Not in Chicago.

What happened is that I saw tabasco sauce and salt and something else on the back of the bar, and I was, like, "what the hell for?" And then I realized. There was this place I used to go back in college, a bar called "Showdown" in San Marcos, Texas, that was notorious for its bloody marys. They were huge, and excellent, and $3. We used to drink them all night long; I was trying to relive that. I did an ok job.

And there are so many reasons I was not in my daugh(t)er.

I also had, before the bloody mary, a Scrimshaw Pilsner and a Rogue Dead Guy Ale. Both are quite good, if anyone's wondering, as far as semi-"artsy" beers go.

It's times like these I realize just how insanely late Stanley stays up, and how insane it was when I used to stay up that late as well.

183: I had trouble sleeping, so I got back up. And with nothing to do (unless I have to drive to DC) till 1pm, the night is young. I'm waiting for the across-the-ponders (ttaM showed up already) to pony up with some fresh bullshit to bicker about.

The thing is, the across-the-ponders usually only show up to react to what we statesiders are already saying.

Which, in this case, is nothing in particular.

Yeah, sorry for being so boring, guys. I guess I'm going to go to bed now.

No, in fact. Nothing at all. And I'm up late only because I had trouble sleeping feeling sick and feel less-than-well. Fuck. Topic?

One last thing. ttaM nattarGcM: hot or not?

Quick, someone say something controversial or leblanc'll just go to bed!

193 is evidence that I, too, should turn in very soon. Night folks.

There we go.

Also, if someone I know in RL that I'm not on great terms with left a comment at my blog that pissed me off, is it ok for me to tell them not to comment anymore, or does that just make me petty and pathetic?

Dammit. We keep talking past each other.

200!

198: Ooh, an actual issue to discuss. I don't have an answer, though.

Can you point us to the comment in question?

It does make me glad no one I know is aware of my blog.

We'll take this thread to morning somewhere!

203: You have a blog?

It's on the "Figure it out" post that spawned a 500-comment thread here and is the only comment by a non-Unfogged person. I feel weird linking directly.

Shhh!

Is it the anonymous one on that thread?

Uh huh. Suffice it to say that in the context of my status with this person, it makes me feel very not great, to wit: the exact thing that I was worrying about was confirmed. Bleh.

In that case, I'd say asking the person not to comment might not be a bad idea.

Assuming, of course, that you're comfortable confronting the person and that doing so wouldn't create more problems than it solves.

I mostly just wanted to complain about it. But you're probably right. Said person did call me on the phone today, and I did say "hey, I saw your comment, and you're a fucker." So maybe that'll do the trick.

Also, looking for something in the hoohole, I found this. The plot thickens!

Yeah, I agree with Teo. Confronting the person face-to-face and asking him/her not to comment seems the best course. Anything else I can think of seems needlessly complicated and passive-agressive.

212: I was afraid you'd bring that up. Mud-slinging, that is.

So now the question is whether there are two or three people commenting in this thread.

Hott, right?

Mud-slinging, that is.

To be mud-slinging, you'd need to switch some words around.

Thanks, guys. I guess I really will go to bed now, though. I need to get up in the morning and engage in a Herculean effort to write this paper. I leave for LA precisely 26 hours from now. Shit.

You'll notice that I have recently, and without warning, unbidden, taken an interest in promoting Stanley's blog. It's all part of a massive plan to take over the blogosphere.

Goodnight, gentlemen.

Night, too! And I assure that leblanc and I are different people!

Good night and good luck, m.

Good night, Stanley. I believe you.

I guess I might as well go to bed as well, even though it's only 2 here.

Was 194 an attempt to lure me into the conversation?

This is my 'panicky running about hour' when I realize I am running late to get to work.

It's depressing to just now be reading this thread. I tried to go to sleep, I really did. (And I'm not even feeling ill.)

Leblanc, you went to school in Texas? Are you from around here, or did you just come here for shoolin'? You've probably gone over this before, but I've been seriously behind in my unfogged studies a lot over the past year or so. (And of course, no need to answer if you don't want to or think it unwise).

Um, "schoolin'".

And I'd also like to make the observation that a well-made bloody mary is a fine fine thing, but exceptionally hard to find, even at places that make a bunch of them regularly for Sunday brunch or suchlike. For example, there was a place at the end of the block I lived on in Brooklyn (Teddy's Bar & Grill at Berry & N. 9th) that served a metric buttload of bloody marys on weekends, and still they were profoundly mediocre and the celery was often skanky.

Could you school me in the preparation of bloody marys? It has always seemed to me like a potentially really nice drink but I never had one that lived up to my mental image of what it ought to be like.

(Maybe Ben will have some ideas to share.)

More horseradish and black pepper rather than less, but I'm lame -- I make them with mix and doctor it rather than making them from the ground up.

Bloody Marys are an abomination in the face of all that is holy. That is all.

How do you feel about mimosae, ttaM?

And what do you drink at Sunday brunch after a hard Saturday night?

Mixing vodka with tomato juice is just a way to spoil both. Mimosas are better for brunch.

re: 232

Nothing involving tomato juice which I dislike at the best of times and it's not improved by adding vodka.* I like gin and tonic for that sort of thing.

re: 231

Had to look it up and it seems to be another name for a bucks fizz, which I've not really drunk much but which is OK.

* I like actual tomatoes, and all the spicy ingredients that go into bloody marys but I can't be doing with the idea of drinking something thick and vegetably as an alcoholic drink.

Ah, but that's the attraction of it. It feels all nutritious and healing when you're not at your best.

232. the blood of a jewish child

The texture of bloody marys actually makes me feel sick. Combine that with a hangover ... I'd rather not.

I wholeheartedly agree with 234.

234 and 235 are giving me ideas about opening an alcoholic juice bar.

re: 236

s/b 'an english child'

I like mimosas, but after the first one I usually just start drinking the champagne straight and then I'm asleep by 1 pm.

ideas for bloody marys:

pickled asparagus or spicy pickled green bean instead of lettuce
more worcestersashurshire sauce
Tony Chachere's instead of garlic and salt. Also can be used to rim the glass.

240. I find that to be a little thin

in 242 "lettuce" s/b "celery", obvs.

re: 243

It's all in the preparation.

and why did i say pickled asparagus? Ye gods. I guess that would work, but I was thinking pickled okra.

re: 245

I prefer mine mulled, btw. With a mixture of spices.

that would be very christmas-y. But they're so hard to find around here this time of year.

re: 248

I moved to Oxford and now have a regular supply.

[If I had a curly moustache, I'd twiddle it in a Dick Dastardly way, right around now]

Doesn't mulling it make it clot up into more of a blood-pudding rather than a beverage?

The trick is constant stirring. Something I picked up from watching my sister-in-law [no kidding] make blood soup.

Not that that wouldn't be tasty as well.

Blood soup recipe here:

http://waran.cz/recepty/popup.php?sb_id=195

Ovaroveho vivaru - chicken stock [or ovary stock?! ]
vepřové krve - pig's blood
vařených krup číslo - some kind of boiled grains [oats probably, this is the limit of my czech food vocab]
and pepper, salt, marjoram and garlic.

The Filipinos do a similar kind of thing, though I had it as sauce on (of course) rice. Quite yummy.

Sounds nice. Blood-based foodstuffs can be tasty.

All the bloody marys I've had in New Orleans were served with pickled okra or a pickled green bean or both, and that's mighty good. I still would have liked a really nice fresh piece of celery to go along with it, though. Olives and/or a boiled shrimp are also nice garnishes. Really a bloody mary is more like an alcoholic salad than a drink.

A generous amount of worcestershire sauce is key, I think, as is good quality tomato juice. I don't have a good recipe because it's the kind of thing that when you need one, you really need someone else to make it for you.

Also, I always order mine to be made with gin (I think it may officially be called a Bloody Maggie).

And I don't know why it works, but part of the efficacy of bloody marys is that tomato juice is very calming to the stomach. Try ordering it on a plane if you're feeling queasy, it will usually settle your guts right down. Ginger ale's not bad for that either.

Also on the tomato juice tip: my dad grew up in small town North Texas (Wichita Falls area), and he says a popular drink at the time he came of age was the Red Draw:

Take one of those small cans of tomato juice (you know, the ones that used to be the standard size for tomato juice, V8, grapefruit juice, etc. before everything became supersized, I think they're 4 or 6 ounces or something), empty it into a beer mug, and then fill up the mug with draught beer.

It sounds disgusting, but it's actually pretty damn good, kind of like fizzy refreshing tomato juice.

Also, I've just remembered that V8 makes a very good base to start with for bloody marys.

I've heard of that, but never tried it.

On the other hand, high-sodium drinks should be avoided on airplanes because of the extremely dry air. Or so I've been told.

"It sounds disgusting"

It sounds vile!

Like mixing coke and orange-juice, or one of those other heinous violating-the-rules-of-the-universe drinks.

coke and orange-juice

No one does that, right? The weird muddy color alone would make it undrinkable. (OJ and seltzer, OTOH, is the beverage of the gods.)

half-juice-half-beer is popular in the part of Germany where I lived. I saw it done mostly with lemonade (or 7-up type soft drinks) but I think other juices too.

Ginger ale and beer mix well, especially if the beer is awful.

Yeah, I saw Brits drinking beer & OJ or lemonade and suchlike. Tomaahhto juice isn't such a stretch.

See, I'm totally thinking it's time to push the envelope with carrot and beet juices.

Yes, citrus juices and beer (esp. lagers and light ales)=delicious refreshment. I don't know about carrot, beet or whatever else; perhaps you could give it a whirl, Clownæ, and report back.

256 & 257 are exactly right. Except for the Bloody Maggie, that's just weird.

[Tomato juice is also supposed to help rehydrating cerebral tissue or something like that, which is another reason why it's recommended as a hangover cure and for drinking on airplanes.]

As for mixed drinks with beer, nothing can quite compare to the Skip And Go Naked (though I usually add 7-up/Sprite as well).

Anarch, I'd like to show reciprocal agreeableness, but I just cannot abide sweet & sour mix.

If I were to make said drink, I guess I'd make it with some lime and lemon juice and a little sugar in place of the mix. I suppose you could call my version "Skip And Go Naked You Damn Hippy".

Also, seeing as you're not averse to gin, you might try it in a bloody mary sometime, it's good.

(OJ and seltzer, OTOH, is the beverage of the gods.)

You mean "apple juice and seltzer", and it's called Apfelschorle. You can schorlize other juices, of course.

And what do you drink at Sunday brunch after a hard Saturday night?

A Corpse Reviver #2, of course (3/4oz each lillet, gin, lemon juice, cointreau and a drop or two of pastis). I mean, the name itself tells you what it's for.