Can I just say again, *#$@@#&*$@!!!
that's not what you said the first time, you said, and I quote, "*$&##@@!!!"
but that does suck LB
Oh, no! Come on, though, how bad can it really make you look? It's Christmas, after all.
Bleh. I feel for you and all the other lawyers in the world.
Keep in mind, leblanc, that the ones making her work are also lawyers.
So the partner just emailed back saying that she'll find someone else. Which is fine -- I'm just really not in a position where I'm comfortable begging for mercy, and I wish I hadn't had to.
I should probably take this post down.
Also, redact that shit if you're in doubt.
Eh, the partner will have forgot all about it in a couple of hours. And there's usually not a whole lot of work over the holidays, right? So anyone who was planning to be in the office anyway will easily have the time to take care of it. It sounds like you found the most efficient solution for all.
So the partner just emailed back saying that she'll find someone else.
Good.
When IdeaList was posting on the other thread about his work I was this close [indicates a short distance using index fingers of both hands] to going on a rant about work ethics and what to make of them, but then I thought "Well there's LB -- she's kind of a slacker at least." But now I'm feeling dangerously close to rant territory again.
Oh never mind -- pwned by your reassertion of sloth. Thanks!
Even with the post redacted, I feel I know exactly what it said. And I will be leaving work early today just to make sure I don't get a similar email...
feh, stupid HTML. assume /i after exactly and i - /i around 'will'
It just really sucks -- if I have a flaw as a law firm associate (and, yes, yes I do), it's that a lot of work and trust gets handed out on the basis of who can most effectively convey a crazed enthusiasm to do absolutely whatever is necessary to serve the lightest whim of their masters. I do not convey this well -- I get work done, and I do it well, but I can't (or won't) get the hang of projecting the requisite enthusiasm. Or something.
After a year like the one I've had, turning down work, even during a vacation, is a fucking terrible career move.
I'm going to spend the rest of the day cowering in my closet behind my shoes, reflecting on my various flaws and shortcomings as a lawyer, employee, and human being. Largely the last of the three.
As a blogger though, LB, you're great.
16: Heh, at least at my place it's distributed more on the basis of which associate a partner happens to run into first. Hence my day of hiding.
I don't know much about big law firms, but is it really so bad to turn down work on what's effectively the day before Christmas?
more on the basis of which associate a partner happens to run into first.
What, no Blackberry?
You know what? I don't know. I don't know a goddamn thing about what sort of damage I just did myself. I have absolutely no useful feedback of any fucking sort. I may be worrying about nothing, but I have no freaking idea.
... I can't (or won't) get the hang of projecting the requisite enthusiasm. Or something.
I'm really reluctant to go over to a way of thinking which divides humanity into arse-kissing and non-arse-kissing types. But some people really do seem to be OK with sucking up. I think they game it.
If you tend towards the literal minded, sycophancy is just too much of an affront to dignity. But the apparent solution - an openly transactional approach where agreed amounts of work are rendered dutifully, and with dignity retained all round, doesn't allow gaming.
That's no fun. Let's say that the spirit of compassion and humanity prevails during the holiday season.
I'm on my second day of vacation, and I finally just had to turn off my blackberry (my only cell phone) to hide from my #$!) of a boss.
re: 22
See my e-mail to you. Shorter, public version: Not nearly as much as you seem to think, all things considered. Go have a good Christmas with your family.
It's not that I'm too proud to kiss ass, I just don't have the hang of doing it right or something.
21: Oh god, no. I despise the things...
I just don't have the hang of doing it right
Huh -- the crowd at the Mineshaft seemed to be pretty favorably impressed from what I heard.
23 -- Hey where have you been? Me and w/d are counting on you to buy for us this afternoon.
22: Agree with Idealist. In my experience, people are relatively fair in judging these sorts of things. Things rarely turn on a single interaction. It only seems that way, because people need something to point at to justify a more holistic judgment. I'm sure you're fine.
people are relatively fair in judging these sorts of things
In general, probably. But the subset of the population who are partners at law firms?
Yeah, see, the reason why I'm nauseated and twitching now is a sense that I'm holistically in trouble as well -- see earlier comments about my billables.
Hmm... I was just having a conversation about billable hours last night, and the consensus of those of us who knew what we were talking about (i.e. him) was mainly in the "if you miss by a bit, it doesn't matter, as long as you were working" camp with a bit of "it depends on the type of work you were doing; it being much easier to bill 10 hours of doc review than 10 hours of writing patents".
26:You want sucks. A boss and associate flew to Denver for a three hour meet&greet. If they are very lucky, they may get back Xmas eve.
I personally know of 30+ people stuck in or outa Denver.
Is there anything much worse than stuck in a hotel room without even a carry-on, no shops open or available, during the Xmasholidays?
Iraq, I suppose. Darfur.
LB, asking you to come in over your holiday seems so unreasonable that I bet the partner just asked you thoughtlessly, without realizing that you had pre-planned your vacation for that time. If she's human at all, she won't blame you for turning her down.
Oh, this incident wouldn't be bothering me if it weren't for a sense that I was, as I said above, holistically screwed -- I'm incredibly nervous and twitchy about work, because I'm getting no solid feedback from anyone, and I'm senior enough that I really should know where I stand. Not knowing is bad, and not having a partner I can go to for a straight answer is also bad.
On the bright side, if I stay this nauseated for the next few days, which seems likely, I shouldn't put on any weight over the holidays.
Yeeerrrs. 'Doing it right' basically means lying. Unless you're lucky enough to work for someone you really do admire.
30 - can't do this afternoon but we're having a party on the 30th if you should happen to be in town (London). Actually, this doesn't really compete with UnfoggedCon, so ... I'll talk to the co-host ...
If she's human at all
See 32. (Note, I'm mostly kidding/just bitching myself, LB)
38 -- heh. I was just working from a joke on the "Captured" thread.
Hey, LB. If they decide you're crap and fire you, you won't be working for evil tobacco any more, which is good. And you'll still have the law degree, which is good. Worst case scenario, you hang out a shingle and start filing paperwork for people who are selling houses, or something boring like that. It'll be okay.
Have a merry Christmas. Newt and Sally will be glad to have you around.
LB, this describes my December almost completely. I very nearly made myself believe that my colleagues all hated me (which is obviously irrational). I think you just have to tough it out. Recruit a client or two. Do some private work. The lack of constructive feedback may just be related to difficulties other people are having elsewhere. Is the practice thriving?
Seriously, don't fret about work. No matter what happens, you are still a smart, competent and capable member of the upper middle class, with all the attendant rights and privileges. Hug the kids and drink some eggnog.
Oh, and never forget that most people simply don't have an opinion of you. Mostly, they just think about themselves. Your boss won't think about your request again unless she has trouble getting someone else to do the work.
And hey, if they don't have an opinion about you, you don't need to have an opinion about you! Practice a little lack of self reflection over the holidays.
40: I had no idea. But now I see that reputations of value need protecting in anticipation of their future utility, Mr Taft will henceforward be commenting in work whinge threads and some of the more embarrassing sex threads only.
"who can most effectively convey a crazed enthusiasm to do absolutely whatever is necessary to serve the lightest whim of their masters"
this reminds me of a piece I heard on npr this morning--david sedaris remembering an early job as an elf at the macy's santaland.
you've probably heard it already. if you haven't--there are worse ways to spend 8 minutes. several excellent laughs.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=6663382
and have a good holiday, lb. I admire your intellect and temperament. enjoy being a good person over the weekend. as for the rest, feitctaj, as emerson would say.
Heh, Sedaris's elf story's what launched his career. Now it's as much a part of Xmas as Dickens or Clement Clark Moore. Thanks for the link.
feitctaj
I had to look this up, which was awesome, because I assumed it was Esperanto for "Happy Holidays" or something.
I believe the abbreviation for "'em" should be an apostrophe, not an E.
And the (#$#$^&*&#@! Pokemon cards I ordered from Amazon two weeks ago aren't here yet, and I just realized it. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Did I say fuck?
"I'm going to have you fired!"
twice today people have said that to me,
"I'm going to have you fired!"
I want to lean over close to them and say,
"I'm going to have you killed."
that's a snippet from sedaris, at least a memorial-text snippet from sedaris, that seemed especially relevant to the post.
Aaa, I had been planning to leave work early today, and a partner just came into my office asking that I meet with him Tuesday to discuss a brief that he will get to me "by the end of the day today." AAaaaak.
Never fear, you can just design your own Pokemon cards. This can help you get started.
...Why did you order Pokemon cards from Amazon?
Newt wants them for Christmas (he has some, wants more). Very badly. I'll be able to get down to the big ToysRUs tomorrow, which should have them, I suppose.
sorry, Junior. At least it's not a box of documents. At least it's not twenty boxes of documents.
43 reminds me of my freshman year RA's attempt at an inspirational year end speech. He was a Texan, a former army ranger, a former speech writer for Governor W, and in Harvard Business School. He starts saying how freshman year can have its ups and its downs, but in the end all that isn't going to matter too much... And then he paused, and clearly didn't have anything inspiring to say. After a couple seconds he says:
"Because no matter what happens, you'll all be in the top 5% of wage earners nationally"
IM IN UR HOUSE WAITING FOR MY POKEMANS
Then, this.
Sally, you better stay away from my pokemans.
Dude, I don't want your stupid pokemans. I'm fuckin' Nausicaa, remember?
Speaking of, I got Nausicaa from Netflix for PK and he loved it. Thanks, Sally!
I've got 30 goddamned pokemon!
62 -- did you guys watch Totoro yet? Syv was absolutely entranced -- it was her favorite Miyazaki so far, or in close competition with Spirited Away.
Yeah, we already had Totoro, Kiki, Spirited Away, and Castle in the Sky. Oh, also The Cat Returns, which is more obscure but very worth getting your hands on.
My favorite is Princess Mononoke. I liked Grave of the Fireflies too, although that's probably a bit heavy for kids.
Of the Miyazake I've seen, Mononoke is the least good.
Sorry, LB. That "I have a target painted on my forehead" feeling really, really sucks, even when you're reasonably sure it's irrational. I don't know how much your town differs from mine, but if it's at all like mine I'd be fairly confident that turning down work over Christmas weekend when you have two small kids is not a big issue. But I'm also very, very happy to be free from those particular worries (and still to be new enough not to have developed the next set yet).
Princess Mononoke is basically majestic and terrifying. I wouldn't show it to kids. I got nightmares from it at age 22. (this does not apply to any other Mizayaki movie of course.)
Also, Grave of the Fireflies is unbelievably depressing. By "unbelievably", I mean that half the way into the movie you're thinking "I never knew a story could contain this many depressing elements simultaneously", and it gets much more depressing from there. Read Roger Ebert's review for more.
I can't wait for PK to stop believing in Santa. I just had to stop listening to the Santaland Diaries halfway through b/c he came back inside.
My kid loved Princess Mononoke from about age 4. He did sometimes go hide behind his chair during a few scenes, but he kept watching the movie over and over.
71: didn't you say recently that this is his last year believing? How are you going to break the news?
My kid loved Princess Mononoke from about age 4. He did sometimes go hide behind his chair during a few scenes, but he kept watching the movie over and over.
I never had the ability to enjoy something that terrified me as a kid. Some kids do, apparently.
How accurate is this view of Miyazaki's movies? It is a view I have been turning over a little with each one I have watched (which to date means Kiki, Spirited, Nausicaa, Totoro -- I also saw the awesome Porco Rosso but am excluding it from this analysis).
The movies lie on a spectrum from fable to story. The fables feature archetypes who have archetypal things happen to them; the stories feature individual characters who have concrete experiences. The most fabulous of the movies is definitely Spirited Away, and the most individual is probably Kiki. The others include archetypal stuff and concrete individual stuff in varying ratios.
(75 doesn't seem as profound written out as it did while I was thinking about it. Also, has the redacted nature of this post made anybody else flash on today's Times op-ed by Flynt Leverett and Hillary Mann?
Also, has the redacted nature of this post made anybody else flash on today's Times op-ed by Flynt Leverett and Hillary Mann?
Aye.
75: If I'm understanding you properly, I think that's why I like Mononoke, which lies near the "fabulist" end of the spectrum, so much. It's a reconstructed, mythic history of industrialization and the death of folk religion. As such, it's terrible and sad and very, very romantic.
feitctaj
I'm going to make a macro for this. Or maybe this: f'itctaj
In re billable hours:
I had a lawyer friend (public interest type) who was at the kind of D.C. restaurant that tends to be full of wankerish lawyers* and was bitching to her non-lawyer girlfriend about how all anyone in the restaurant was talking about was "billiable hours! billable hours!" Her girlfriend asked, "Who's Bill Blowers?"
*N.B. I mean the subset of lawyers who are wankerish, not all y'all.
I got my kids "castle in the sky" ,and they were scared shitless.
It's not a Miyazaki film, but it is from Studio Ghibli, and should be a big hit ATM:
The tanuki fight back against suburban development with their shapeshifting powers and magical testicles.
It's not Christmas yet, so I'll observe that the fact that B and bitzer like Sedaris confirms my long-held suspicion that he's humor for people who don't know from funny. As you've probably gathered, I have an extremely low threshold for what constitutes a good use of my time, but that fucker owes me for every minute I spent reading Me Talk Pretty One Day.
73: Oh, I'm not going to tell him, I just think he's getting close to realizing that the story has internal inconsistencies. Like why don't the fundamentalist or non-Christian kids get toys from Santa, how come Santa brings me more than he does some other kids, etc. Or probably someone in his class is going to spill the beans sooner or later.
Ogged, do you want this Bush Countdown Calendar or not? You'll be happy to know I don't think it's funny.
I like Sedaris. I liked Sedaris when I was old, funny Standpipe. I counterexample you!
I like Sedaris, but not because I think he's hilarious or anything. He tells a good story, and sometimes I chuckle. But I don't think it's like "funniest. shit. ever" or anything? Not only things that are funny have value, ogged, you heartless bastard.
Of course, I lap up uncriticially anything that NPR funnels through my ear canal.* Holy shit, I am not allowed to write figuratively for the rest of the day.
*Sarcasm.
I counterexample you!
You are funny, Bridgeplate, but you've always had terrible taste.
I can't wait for PK to stop believing in Santa.
So just tell him apparently he wasn't good enough this year for Santa to bring him any presents, so Mom and Dad got him a bunch instead. Because y'all love him no matter what. Not like that fat fuck Santa.
Then you can transition him over the next year.
Hey speaking of teh Funny: Last night I read the "Humpty Dumpty" chapter of Through the Looking Glass to Syv -- that was about the funniest shit evar. (shaking her finger in reprimand) "Words aren't living! You can't pay them!" Funniest bit: when HD says "The question is, who is to be master," she pipes up: "Alice. Cause she's smarter, right?"
I agree with 88. Sedaris is as funny as any writer of short-form non-fiction humor pieces ever was. And it's old-school, not full of non sequiturs and absurdism like fellow semi-sufferable geniuses John Hodgman and McSweeney McMcSweeneyey.
HD says "The question is, which is to be master, that's all" (emphasis added).
you've always had terrible taste.
My taste is impeccable. It just can't be pecced.
92 - the trick is to plant the seed by not saying anything, but leaving these pictures on the refrigerator and similar places.
83: Don't underestimate the devious little bastards. My son shows strong signs of consciously suppressing disbelief when there's loot to be had.
Of course, I'm a humorless feminist, so I don't really think anything's funny. Don't mind me.
(Actually I think he uses an em dash between clauses, not a comma. But that's beside the point.)
I think so too, Clownman, but I'm shakier on the typography than on the words.
Boy, I thought memorizing Jabberwocky made me a poltroon. Some people memorize the entirety of Through the Looking Glass, including punctuation?
Sedaris *is* funny. Not sure "Me Talk Pretty" is one of the funniest--more and more he's been turning to darker, more poignant stuff. Honestly, I find that to really get the funny you have to imagine him reading it (which is easier as I've heard him read several times). A big part of the bitter / ironic humor is in the delivery.
In other words, Ogged, you have a tin ear. Also DO YOU WANT THIS FUCKING CALENDAR OR NOT? I'm going to the post office today, and if you don't want it I'm mailing it to someone else because IT'S NOT FUNNY and I don't need three calendars.
Depends -- did you memorize HD's explanation of Jabberwocky's first stanza, as well?
it's the first sedaris I've been aware of consuming--didn't know he was famous.
i thought it was funny. since it's already hannukah, i won't comment on ogged's sense of humor.
dunno anything about the book you read and didn't like--sounds like you should take your complaint straight to the author.
What calendar? I haven't been reading closely.
it is *very* provoking when people cannot tell a belt from a cravat.
108 -- B. mentioned above she wanted to send you an SI Swimsuit Calendar but couldn't tell if you were interested.
Actually, nevermind what calendar: I don't use a calendar, so no, thank you for asking.
110 is not at all work-safe. I'm sure glad I clicked on it.
"it is a MOST--PROVOKING--thing ... when a person doesn't know a cravat from a belt!"
Let's try to get this right, people; it's only the best section of one of the best works in English ever.
This one. Okay, who wants it? First person to send me a mailing address can have it.
My taste is impeccable.
I've always wondered what peccary tastes like.
best section
Really? I'm kind of partial to Tweedledum and Tweedledee myself -- and the surrounding bits.
Well, you're wrong. No shame in that.
re: teh funny. I think I'm drawn to humor that also makes me die a little inside as I smirk. (i.e. keillor, the sedaris elf story) Death brings life!
117: I think you're actually wrong, also. I believe there's another pair of dashes before "most," but I'm only 95% certain.
Quick, someone have 126 notarized before it disappears.
Let me break it down for you-- consider it an early Christmas present. Sedaris on elves: pretty funny. His other work: mildly funny. Lewis Carroll: not really funny.
Ogged, would you use the bear calendar if it were the Muslim lunar version?
It appears that right.
Man, I haven't read that in a long time. So good.
I fall upon the thorns of life! I bleed!
Lewis Carroll is hilarious, you philistine.
would you use the bear calendar
Maybe we should define "use".
Children who grow up with Lewis Carroll will grow up to recite bits of Monty Python movies as young adults.
What will they do as old men, Labs?
Sedaris is a fantastic storyteller and I would listen to him read from the phonebook because I would probably laugh my nuts off at it. He takes the sort of absurdity that happens every day and exalts in it. If you can listen to him tell the story of his chef with the rubber hand and not laugh then you might as well climb in a hole and start shoveling dirt over your own feet to save the gravedigger half a task.
Clearly you have my number. BUT I GOT OVER IT.
135: if I have my way, they won't get there.
I don't own a copy of Alice in Wonderland because I gave my only copy to a young girl named Alice who had been badly abused as an infant before being left with a note on the porch of my grandma's neighbor who took her in and adopted her but she did badly in school probably b/c she was dsylexic but this was horribletown Arkansas so what do they know and anyway she had a big crush on me so I gave her the book hoping it might inspire her to work on her reading skills so she wouldn't be held back in school too much. She moved away so I don't know how that turned out.
Also, the Sedaris story about killing the mouse from Dress Your Family is genius. Also the one about the worms.
Labs, you're a lot of hat and no cattle.
He gets bonus points from me because in the stories he tells about his childhood and adolescence, the landmarks and buildings are all familiar places.
Slol, you're so right.
I admit to laughing at Sedaris reading his bit about summer camp and how he didn't take a crap for six weeks.
Will you two cut it with the collegiality; I feel like I'm a school of arts and sciences mixer.
I like Sedaris's stories about his adult experiences better than the ones about growing up, because the latter make me alternately think "Well sure, if I had an experience that bizarre, I could write a funny story about it too" and "Wait a minute, that can't possibly be true" (this last contains the "didn't take a crap for six weeks" idea and the hitchhiking/fellatio story).
Slol, old chum! What say we adjoin to the faculty club for a brandy?
One thing I like about the growing up stories is that I was about as neurotic as Sedaris and can relate to loathing and fearing public restrooms, locker rooms, etc. As well as pretty much everything else, for that matter.
Have you seen this Monty Python skit, Labs?
I feel like I'm a school of arts and sciences mixer.
It's a lot more spacious in here since they got rid of that ugly kidney.
No, Ogged, in a decade of professional life as a philosopher, no one has ever mentioned to me that skit, or the song. My worldview is reborn! Not dead yet! ni! unladen swallow!
I only saw it last week, geekoids.
And speaking of mixers, have you seen this?
My friends and I have been engaging in a long-running competition to make Simpsons references that the other members of the group actually don't immediately recognize. It's been very difficult.
From today's "Bleat" by James Lileks:
My stylist was unpleasant. Usually I get a cheerful lass with a balloony bosom (displayed for all to see, so we can marvel at the tattoos) but this time I got a sullen minx who radiated indifference and self-regard: why is my hotness wasted here? Why is my hotness not rewarded immediately with money and wild sex with Abercrombie & Fitch models? Who the hell are you? I made the first tentative offering of small talk, which was backhanded away with a grunt. Fine; I'll just sit here, then, recalculating the tip.
Do you use scissors? she asked.
I had no idea what she meant. I mean, I did, inasmuch as she had scissors in her hand like every other person who's ever cut my head, and I had entered into the transaction with the assumption, however unvoiced, that scissors would be involved anew, but I didn't quite understand, and asked her what she meant.
Do you use scissors? On your hair?
No, I don't, I said, carefully, but the people who cut my hair do?
That satisfied her. Pissed her off, too, but it satisfied her. (Later my wife explained that she was asking if I would rather have a razor cut, because now they're offering to cut your hair with a razor. No one has ever offered to cut my hair with a razor.) The rest of the haircut was one of those uncomfortable events where you don't like her and she doesn't like you but you're going to get through this together, and at the end you come to respect each other as you're bonding behind a brick wall during a shootout with Mendoza's goons. Often that last portion is omitted, though.
I couldn't tell what she was doing. Usually you can sense a pattern or personal style; you can detect tentativeness or confidence. This felt like my head was a bowl of mixed nuts and she was working on extracting only the cashews. In the end it was fine, though, but I shaved a buck off the tip. Or rather scissored it.
Spare me the emails about how I shouldn't have tipped her at all! It was a decent enough cut, and she has to make a living. I just won't use her again. I'm North Dakotan that way. I'll show the little snit what I think, and tip her exactly what the custom demands.
154 to 152. not to deny that it works for 153.
Also, ogged, just to further strain our relationship, I'll note that I'm on dialup today, so I can't wait for that thing to load.
You got Lileks on my blog, you dirty bastard.
"Spare me the emails about how I shouldn't have tipped her at all!" Lord.
The probability that I would really dislike Lileks if we met in person approaches 1.
What say we adjoin to the faculty club for a brandy?
Dude, you have a faculty club? We stand out back of the large animal pathology barn and drink Thunderbird in a paper bag.
In grad school we did. Now (a different) we do not, though there's a room in the union where lunch is served to faculty only. I never go, prefering to drink Thunderbird in my office with the door locked.
Clearly you have my number. BUT I GOT OVER IT.
Will you teach me the getting-over-it? I'm stuck on the wannabe-droll-rejoinder.
The key part in getting over it was realizing that Monty Python were funny, but that acned teenage Americans imitating Monty Python thirty years later, are not.
164: FL is striving towards inclusion in the next version of the Philosopher's Drinking Song.
Which will include the line "Saul Kripke is an irritating fuck!"
If we paid hair stylists less, they would be more polite and enthusiastic, because they would be desperate for any sort of job at all.
More Lileks-- the most recent newspaper column:
What's the best day to open presents -- Eve or Day? I know what you're thinking: You don't open presents at all, but rather sit around seared with blue paint, wearing bull masks and chanting to dark gods. Man, you're weird. There's just no other way to put it. For those who celebrate Christmas, though, it's no small question.
My family was Eve-ers, which gave the 24th an unvarying routine. Church @ 4:30, Swedish meatball supper, presents around the tree while listening to the Goodyear Tire Christmas album. (There was also an album put out by Firestone, but we didn't have it; perhaps tire-sponsored holiday compilations were distributed along Protestant/Catholic lines, with the Michelin record going to Huguenots.) It was over by 9, and then everyone just wandered around the house before gathering for pie and some sort of holiday show, like a very special "Tonight Show" repeat.
The next morning: the Miracle of the Stockings, after which it was all an anticlimax. Oh, it was fun; we went to the farm, where we'd marvel at Grandma's Bubble Lamps on the tree. (They weren't on the market back then, so hers probably came from 1947, and contained several ounces of radium and asbestos.) We'd eat turkey and go home content. But as the car made the turn into Fargo, you could feel the end of it all, right there. Twelve days of Christmas, my foot. You couldn't stand to listen to the carols trickling from the kitchen radio, because it was over and you knew it.
And that's why I switched from Eve to Day when Child() came along. Spreading it over two days dilutes it, somehow. Better to make the entire day so gosh-dang dawn-to-dusk special that you're exhausted from joy. Whichever you choose, have a wonderful Christmas, and I'll see you in 2007.
I wish we had a faculty club so that I could still not go, but then I could feel guilty about being entitled to a faculty club.
168: to rhyme with "I see a rabbit, you see a duck!"
My heart is warmed with the spirit of Lileks.
172: "David Lewis had a ZZ Top beard/Earl Conee is just plain weird."
"Let's make a plan
to smack Michael Bratman;
Michael Dummett
is a great big fat man."
I have high regard for both Michaels, I should note.
Ok, I've pretty much exhausted my supply of nerdiness for the next couple of months. I must return to the dreary business of living.
The key part in getting over it was realizing that Monty Python were funny, but that acned teenage Americans imitating Monty Python thirty years later, are not.
Oh, I misunderstood. I thought you were referring to liking Sedaris, but getting over ogged's David Sedaris-related program activities.
Alicublog has the Lileks franchise. Sorry, guys.
I'm wearing a bosomy dress today; do you think Lileks will tip me?!?
I'll tell you all how to get over Monty Python super fast. Have your ex-boyfriend show up when you're living in the UK and affect a Monty Python accent the entire week he's there hanging out with your friends, until one of them finally says to him in the most hostile east end I'm-going-to-kill-you voice imaginable, "why do you keep doing that fucking Monty Python accent?"
Was he doing Monty Python material, or just pretending to have an English accent?
A little bit of both. Needless to say, I never spoke to him again despite pleading/dsperate/angry letters.
despite pleading/dsperate/angry letters.
my favorite sort.
"You haven't written to me since I saw you in England. Your friend Sara was nicer to me then than you were. If you don't reply to this letter, I'll just assume you don't want to be friends any more."
Thank god. I think that letter arrived ten years later, when I was in grad school. Probably one of the letters I've been happiest to receive in my entire life.
I ran into Bratman in Helsinki. That was weird.
I ran into Bratman in Helsinki. That was weird.
I thought comments might be down. But no.
An hour and seventeen minutes without comments does seem strange. I suppose many folks are travelling.
Or still embarrassed that they showed up at the office and no one was there, as apparently we have this Friday off, not next Friday. And inexplicably, I stayed.
Welcome to my hell of this morning, guys. Where the fuck were you when I needed you? Oh yeah I think you were there Stanley. But teo, he was off having his Christmas vacation fun.
194 boggles my mind afresh.
It boggles my mind as well. In fairness, I was looking at pictures of the recently dethroned Miss Nevada. Which might be harder with others in the office. But what else am I going to do?
recently dethroned
I thought Donald Trump forgave her and allowed her to keep her title? The magnanimous fellow.
But teo, he was off having his Christmas vacation fun.
Specifically, sleeping. Then shopping for books.
198: Did he? Apparently the Miss Nevada website is updated to show that the former runner-up is now the winner. Does anyone else think that the brunette in those pics is only going along out of insecurity?
Like I say. You stood us up, man!
200(!) -- I don't really know, I thought that was what the Trump thing Labs linked to the other day was all about.
You're thinking of Miss USA Tara Conner, not Miss Nevada USA Katie Rees. C'mon, Clownman. Not all pageant types look alike.
The Trump thing was Miss America, not Miss Nevada.
Apparently there are two disgraced beauty queens in the news these days. Miss USA Tara Connor snorts coke and made out with Miss Teen USA Katie Blair in public, while Miss Nevada Katie Brees flashed a bunch of people in a bar and made out with her female friends.
Confusing, I know, but no more so than Hegel, surely.
Speaking of beauty pageants, I saw Little Miss Sunshine last night. Good movie.
Yabbut I never got word one of Hegel. So.
Also, doesn't the second sentence of 205 imply that there are three disgraced beauty queens in the news these days?
206: that movie's sitting right here, freshly arrived from Netflix. I may watch it tonight.
210: Wow, you're in for a treat.
Miss Teen USA's love for Miss America is pure and wholesome, not the coke-fueled degenerate lust that exists in the other direction. Or something.
I can't fathom why any of these pageants are even still around. Someone, anyone tell me of their redeeming social value. The winners feed hungry kids somewhere maybe? Or fuck the bears so they don't fuck us first?
I think that to a first approximation no one watches them any more. But I take issue with your implication that a lack of redeeming social value should lead to the end of anything. Redeeming social value is vastly overrated.
I was out buying PK's santa present, which is a very nice custom-painted Endo balance board.
no one watches them any more
This would be difficult to square with the amount of media attention payed to their accouterments, and the amount of money spent on them.
I can't fathom why any of these pageants are even still around.
Well, nobody watches them, obviously, or cares about them except the people involved. Similar to amateur athletics.
The real mystery is where the money comes from. Pageant alumnae? Lipgloss companies who want to be publicized as sponsors, like the snowboard, skeet rifle and bicycle companies that support the athletes in other sports nobody except the people involved want to watch?
216: How much attention is paid? I mean, until the breast pictures came out, I'd bet that not one person in 10,000 could tell you who Miss Nevada 2006 was. And analogously for Miss America whats-her-name.
The Sponsor Page for Miss America lists a jewelry company, an ice cream company, and four women's clothing companies.
214: I was, of course, exagerrating. But I really am confused by the pageant world and will shortly watch that movie on my coffee table so I can begin to form some based-in-something-other-than-general-impressions opinions about it.
(I will not watch the movie while on the coffee table, to be clear.)
I don't know how much light that movie will shed on the appeal of beauty pageants, actually.
222: I suspect very little, but I'm looking for an anchor lest I keep talking ex recta. Haven't really thought about this issue much, and suddenly I want to.
I used to work in a big law firm. On the day before Thanksgiving weekend, the partner of my group called me into his office. Next to his desk was a full-sized fax machine in a thin nylon sack that looked as if it would rip if I tried to pick it up with the fax machine inside it.
I sat down.
"GB," he said, "we're going to need to make some progress on this deal over the weekend. Take this machine with you. I'll be faxing the latest versions to you. I need you to conference in on the calls, mark up the changes, and turn around the documents. All right?"
Sure, I said. That won't completely fuck up my Thanksgiving, which I am planning to spend skiing in Maine, I didn't.
The partner called the client and put him on speakerphone.
"Mr. Client," he said, "we're ready to keep going over the weekend on this. So for starters, let's —"
Mr. Client interrupted: "Are you crazy? I'm not even thinking about this over Thanksgiving!"
That was the most awesome thing that ever happened to me as a lawyer, and it also explains why I no longer am one.
"Confusing, I know, but no more so than Hegel, surely." is incredibly funny.
I take this to be an open post at this point, so: has the "How to Kill a Ninja" clip been linked here yet? (Sorry, teo. No more videos soon, promise.)
The impatient can fast-forward to 2:15.
Happy, Texas was an amusing beauty pageant picture, as well. I've got Little Miss Sunshine to watch this weekend.
Happy Cephalopdmas! May none of your tentacles tangle.
Now I'm off to bake strange Norwegian things for the holiday and look for an octopus to put on top of the tree.
"I can't fathom why any of these pageants are even still around."
They exist so that the winners can disgrace themselves afterwards, providing the internets with mock-fodder, and afterwards sort of redeem themselves by having mediocre music or acting careers.
oops, there's an extra "afterwards" there--the first one. Pretend it's invisible.
It's fine. Earlier I exaggerated the "r" in exagerrating and left out a "g". For effect, mind you.
Very late to this thread, but sorry to hear about your travails LB, and hope you have a great holidays! Hope everyone else has a great holidays too!
Except w-lfs-n, of course. Or do I mean Michael? I can never keep straight which one I hate now. Aw hell, happy holidays to both of you too.
I'm in the office right now, quite unexpectedly. If anyone would like to feel sorry for me, you have my permission.
I can't wait for PK to stop believing in Santa.
Depending, of course, on the method of discovery.
I'm in the office right now, quite unexpectedly. If anyone would like to feel sorry for me, you have my permission.
A day late, but yes, that sucks. I hope if you read this today, you read it at home, enjoying the weekend.
In the words of Scott Esposito: "Rarely is 'what the fuck?' so apt.
You know, my mom, who usually has fairly discerning tastes, told me she enjoyed Legally Blonde, the film. As a result, I have withheld judgment and haven't had a chance to see it. Is it as bad as my gut reaction tells me it should be?
Is it as bad as my gut reaction tells me it should be?
I liked it, which should indicate to you that a person of education, culture, discerning taste and proper values should hate it.
Late to the thread, but, oh well.
Years ago, I was a mid-level associate, and the only associate on a particular phase of a big case (an MDL actually). As we were coming up to the holidays, the other side filed some things that were a big damn deal, and were going to require real work to respond. I was on the conference call following up, and was asked if I could do all the work. I said 'not really -- I might need some help' and was assured that help would be found. About 3 hours later, an associate called me from another office, pleading with me to relent for the benefit of her friend -- saying that her friend had bought plane tickets and everything. I was baffled, but it came out that the rumor was that I had cancelled the vacations of all litigation associates. My laughing that anyone would believe I had such power wasn't, apparently, any help at all.
Now I do have the power, and I use it whenever necessary. I don't care if the client wants to go through the holiday not thinking about whatever problem he has -- the only question I have is whether we can do so and still accomplish the goal. If yes, then it's no problem. If not, someone's going to have to work. Now we all have to live with each other, and so one wouldn't want to do anything radical in making an assignment. On the other hand, the client's not paying us a million dollars so we can lose their case because we've got more interesting things to do in our personal lives.
Fortunately for me, the people under my authority want to win the case (or close the deal) every bit as much as I do, or whoever has the relationship to the client.
the client's not paying us a million dollars so we can lose their case because we've got more interesting things to do in our personal lives.
Exactly right. This points out one of the major shortcomings of law school. Many law professors have little experience in law practice, and the higher you go up in the rankings, the less experience they tend to have, and it is those high ranking schools which are the main feeders to big law firms. Thus, law students are taught little about the practice of law, and it seems to come as a shock and bitter disappointment to some new lawyers that while it is a noble and justly exalted (in our own minds, at least) profession, the law is also a highly competitive business. And clients pay a lot of money, particularly for the services of fancy big firms, and expect a lot for their money. And if they do not get it, they will go someplace else.
Rant complete, it's back to work (albeit at home) for me.
240, 241: Oh, certainly -- there's stuff that needs to be done 365 days a year. I'd have been crabbing if my vacation were actually cancelled, but not particularly wrecked about it. What had me all wound up was the insecurity of not knowing if I was actually necessary (in which case, annoying, but those are the breaks), if the partner had simply forgotten I was on vacation in the 36 hours since I'd last reminded her of it (in which case, no harm, no foul), or if this was some passive-aggressive means of commenting on my hours/checking on my willingness to take one for the team, in which case I flunked.
re: 242
I really did not mean 241 to in any way be a criticism of you or to imply that your gripe was unjustified. It was just a general expression of a pet peeve. Sorry.
the partner had simply forgotten I was on vacation in the 36 hours since I'd last reminded her of it
This seems pretty likely.
And if it really was that this was some passive-aggressive means of commenting on my hours/checking on my willingness to take one for the team she is a total asshole.
[rant about students not understanding the true source of the market value of their top tier school JD deleted; I'm not pseudonymous enough.]
CC, the subset of law students who are going to read this and haven't already formed positive opinions of you is, I would guess, empty. No rant about our misconceptions is likely to change that
WD, my personal views don't necessarily match those of the institution for which I have some hiring responsibility.
That said, I'll give a purely personal view: there are 179 law schools, give or take. The top 15 students at all of them are virtually indistinguishable on any criteria actually relevant to their first 5 years of practice. Bragging rights is the only criterion upon which to distinguish, and it's pretty thin stuff. Where they'll really separate, though, comes much later, and is about where the next 65 students end up. At a middle to lower tier schools, few if any are going to be at prime influence spots. This is different in the upper tiers -- when LB is 50 a much higher proportion of her law school classmates will be in a position to steer business to her than of my classmates (I went to a lower tier law school than she did) who can to me -- but that's way more about class and access to opportunity than ability.
Of course, a determined and lucky person can get very far in our society -- you can be born in a log cabin and grow up to be President. That said, as a betting person, I'm going to recognize that the wheel only comes up 00 less than 3% of the time, and so I'm mostly going to put my chips on red or black. (Was that disclaimer enough?)
I tell all my associates, regardless of level, that the day is going to come when they want the phone to ring, and someone on the other end of the line to say 'I've just been served with a summons. They want $5 million. We want to fight this.' And I say that the person has to know to call you. Do you already know them? If not, how are you going to meet them -- because if they don't know you, they're not calling you . . .
I should clarify that I'm not comparing class and access between LB and myself, but rather the average of her law school class with the average of mine.
Do you already know them? If not, how are you going to meet them -- because if they don't know you, they're not calling you . . .
This rings so true. One of the huge frustrations and sources of strees for me this year (my first as a partner) is my failure to bring in any business. I have been assured by my managing partner not to worry about it, that it will come. However, it still is a big source of stress. I slightly alluded to this in a conversation with opposing counsel who happens to be an alumnus of the same prestigious big firm where I started out. He then spent about fifteen minutes giving me a pep talk that tracks very closely to what CharleyCarp has just said. When you are less than 10 years our of law school, like me, you do not know people in positions to give you work. But as you go on, the people who you went to school with or who you started out practice as associates with will move into positions where they can give you business. So, going to school and starting out at places where your comrades will end up being in a position to give you bisiness is a big thing. Thinking about his pep talk, I reflected that the vast majority of the work a small firm like ours does--even work for companies in the top ten of the fortune 500--has come in exactly like he said.
Shorter--what CharleyCarp said.
Mmmm. It's a rough profession for the retiring and anti-social. (Hi!)
It's a rough profession for the retiring and anti-social.
It is. This, of course, has absolutely nothing to do with you. It is a big problem for me, however. Oh well.
the client's not paying us a million dollars so we can lose their case because we've got more interesting things to do in our personal lives.
Hey, no one ever paid me a million dollars to do anything in that place. If they had, I might not have cared about the ski trip so much.
Also, in my particular story, the work the partner wanted to do was work that required Mr. Client's involvement, i.e., reviewing aspects of the deal documents with him. So if the client didn't want to work on it over Thanksgiving, neither could we. At least not that part of it.
