Me; though I can't speak for anyone else going by this pseudonym.
but this won't let us know if it was sanctified-sex or gay-sex
And the five minutes is up. It is as one would suspect. I congratulate you on your chastity, good Bridgeplate.
sounds like a good party. I hope no one woke up wearing the right underwear, that all urges were happily satisfied, and all further blog-interaction will be incredibly awkward.
Oh, I do hope there is scandal. I could use some scandal.
Me too. Anyone with dirt to spill that they don't feel comfortable putting in the comments should email me. Then I'll tell everyone.
At least have the decency to CC me, too. I want a full account of positions and locations employed.
It might take some time to construct the official narrative. In the kitchen, some people are trying to determine who took off whose clothes with his or her--okay, her--teeth.
Are there buttons strewn about on the floor? Because those could be used to identify the stripee.
In a few months there will be an article in Harper's characterizing the official report on UnfoggeDCon as a whitewash.
Part of me suspects the sexxy games ended with everyone passing out on the floor uncoited.
I spent so much time on my knees that they're a little sore.
14: IME, that generally means that people who were sitting demurely watching the hijinks got busy after everyone else passed out or went home. Not that I have any informed speculation as to who that might be.
The central question is of course how many bastard sons of w-lfs-n we can expect in nine months.
15: You went to a party like this without kneepads?
That's too much to even contemplate. How many people does it take to cockblock w-lfs-n?! What kind of game does the boy have?!?
19: I'm guessing those who meant to cockblock got caught up in the tractor beams of his boundless love.
He's the Jewish Wilt Chamerblain, Ogged.
wtf's up with billmon? first he posts a loony-tunes "that's all folks", then his site goes 'temporarily unavailable'. hope he's okay, and will return to the game before too long.
i was in Lansing, MI over the weekend. the local paper ran a front-page para on the AP poll showing that 13% listed bush as the greatest hero of the year, and 25% listed him as the greatest villain. except they didn't actually report that second figure--they just told us that he had won the greatest hero of the year in the poll, with 13% of the vote. nothing about 1/4 of the people thinking he was the year's greatest villain.
unbelievable what that liberal media will do.
one reason why i like unfogged is cause you don't have open threads.
Bitzer hooked up with w-lfs-n.
sweet. as a couple, we'll call them Wolf-Bitzer.
or at any rate, i would have if i'd been there, honest.
instead, i was in lansing mi. and speaking of lansing, the local paper there.
Lansing is a total shithole surpassed only by Flint.
Okay, maybe also surpassed by Saginaw.
I'll be offline, probably until tomorrow, but let me note once again my MASSIVE and INTENSE disappointment.
...that everyone is still too drunk to post?
How can you be too drunk to post? I thought there's no blogging like drunken blogging.
Happy New Year everyone!
Two things fill the mind with ever-increasing wonder and awe: the restorative power of bad fast food, and Ben w-lfs-n.
34: One is reminded of the famous saying of Agur son of Jakeh:
Three things are too wonderful for me;
four I do not understand:
the way of an eagle in the sky,
the way of a snake on a rock,
the way of a ship on the high seas,
and the way of a man with a girl.
(Proverbs 30:18-19)
[Presumably quoting scripture in this particular comment box is the exact opposite of what Ogged was hoping for.]
Hey you party-throwers, you all threw an excellent party. Including the part where everyone kept punching spackerman in his armored chest, even though everyone else who had just punched him were holding their fists in pain. Also, the cider was great and the crackers were arranged in intricate patterns. It was even fun after the cops broke up the angry Bertrand-Russell-was-wrong-about-Herbert-Spencer debate that was going on on your front step.
And it was excellent to meet so many pseudonymous people. UnfoggeDCon was teh pwesome.
Huzzah for Becks, Armsmasher and Catherine. That was a fine party. I'll second the cider and crackers and add that the cookies were tasty too.
How good was the party? I drank not (nor used other drugs) and still I have trouble recalling everything.
36: This morning, Labs was having trouble moving the hand he used to punch Ackerman's flak jacket. He should have just punched him in the face instead.
How is your hand, Becks? Didn't you make the same mistake a few minutes later?
I ended the night in bed with Silvana. Woo!
41 - I Buffy kicked him instead. No hands were injured in my abuse of Spackerman.
Ah, okay. Someone else punched him then, I think. Or maybe this was all an alcohol-fueled delusion.
i punched him because it looked kind of fun. sadly, i didn't realize it was actually like punching a brick wall with that jacket on.
Thanks to Becks, Armsmasher and Catherine. It was a hoot!
You know, he's kinda a little guy. Labs would have had better luck just picking him up and throwing him at someone.
Good time! Many thanks to the flophouse hosts. I'm sorry I had to bail out early (1am) to get some sleep before my flight out.
This thread requires more party anecdotes. Fr'instance: Labs is unusually tall. Spackerman prefaced the dance-phase of the party with a lengthy lip-synch to Eminem. Alameida had a gold chain with the name 'Alameida' on it.
I feel like I spent the entire weekend high on cocaine, except there was no cocaine.
Shit, 50 was me, not w-lfs-n. Stupid remember info.
Some highlights. Jackmormon's moves are the shit; she did a like, female version of James Brown's moves, to James Brown's songs, that was quite a thing to behold. Also, I believe it was said that Neil's dancing was like a regular person dancing to the beat... times a hundred. There was a campfire-like joke-telling session circa 4 am, where many of the jokes that were told in that one joke thread here were re-told, to great acclaim. There were some ill-advised tequila shots which had roughly the proportions of glasses of wine. Labs has mad moves.
Ah 50 was funny.
I wonder if B-Wo is still 8 miles high or if he has landed.
I am surprised be the fact that there has been no untoward speculation resulting from the fact that m. leblanc was apparently posting from the computer used for this exchange and that nothing was heard from either B-wo or leblanc between those posts and these posts.
Anecdotal exchange from the car ride home:
Me: You know, I think Fontana Labs plays the cello, too.
E.: Oh, really? I wonder how big his cello is.
Me: Heh...
Greetings from Houston. I don't remember how I got here, but I wager it involved trains and cabs.
Some notes:
m. leblanc was there? Did I know that?
Did y'all keep calling ogged after I left (around 4 a.m.)? If so, did it remain saucy or slide into apologetic?
Who invited the I-know-all-about-Spencer-no-I'm-making-it-up-because-it's-fun guys from the Cato Institute?
54 -- I presume it's because they're both posting from teh "public" computer (public-for-the-purposes-of-the-party, I think) at the Flophouse, right?
And also: m. leblanc was at the party? damnit, labs promised me he would introduce me to everybody. Failure!
I didn't sleep with Labs, but he did molest me several times.
Other observations:
Alameida is probably the best and most interesting person ever.
Apostropher is indeed teh hero, and he's got a great voice. Obviously, he was the announcer at the Mineshaft Cock Fights, which took place shortly after 5am.
Labs is freakishly tall and a wild dancer. He's also very kind and has a well-trimmed beard.
Chopper has a very large camera (IYKWIM...).
m. leblanc is wonderful, though she seemed a bit tired after rocking out in the basement with Spencer.
BitchPhD is charming and hated on me only briefly for not wearing a suit.
CharleyCarp was there, I think, and I completely missed him. Dammit. I wanted him to taste the wine I brought.
m/d is a splendid chap and has good stories about crappy beer.
m/tch is also delightful and stayed way late. Woo, m/ster m/lls.
And of course: catherine, 'smasher, and Becks can throw one hell of a weirdo internet party.
Oh, and w-lfs-n's actually quite modest and nice. I still hate him, of course.
Sounds like a great night. I'm not jealous at all. No.
Anyway, Happy New Year from here - have drunk pink fizzy drinks, have done midnight, have sent guests home and kids to bed, now having a smoke and watching a tv programme about criminals.
Also, Labs is awesome. Not for the molestation bit though. Let the record show that he, who got all high and mighty about dressing for the opera, used to go to chamber music concerts in Einstürzende Neubauten shirts.
58 is not quite right. I provided a dose of much-needed discipline, though I doubt it served its corrective purpose.
Okay, once and for all, people. m. leblanc is silvana and silvana is m. leblanc. I though I/she had made this clear, but apparently not.
SEK tried to convince me to let him take me to gay bars. Make of this what you will.
Speaking of Labs, an awesome moment, during the joke-telling extravaganza.
Ackerman: Ok, so a black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder...
Labs: RACIST!!!!!!!!!
the joke-telling extravaganza
Why, oh why, did we leave at 3am?!?!?! Crap.
I think I participated in the joke-telling extravaganza, but I remember no jokes other than my own.
I remember that Jackmormon told the canoe joke incorrectly.
chopper, yours was definitely the best. from what i remember. maybe because it went on for 47 minutes.
Jesus christ I need to eat something.
Should have eaten some of Chopper's bacon.
I literally fell asleep when Chopper started telling the 47-minute joke, and woke up when it was over.
chopper's bacon was OUT OF THIS WORLD. thanks chopper!
Also, I think I may have taken too many pictures. XP is refusing to let me just use Explorer to get the pictures off. I'm having to use some weird-ass Canon utitility, and it is moving sloooowwwly. I started the thing 5 minutes ago, and it's on image 27.
Of 604.
Of 604
Well sure, but the 600 shots it took to document the length of Labs' cock kind of put that number in context.
All right, folks, off to a NYE party (where there is *gasp* no internet); I wish you all a safe and fun-filled evening.
it went on for 47 minutes
. . . and ended with "Fuck you, clown."?
No, a completely different and non-obscene shaggy-dog story. Except for when every one hears it barks out "Fuck!" after realizing how very, very little payoff there is.
56: There's an abonormally large libertarian contingent who hang around the flophouse and its environs. We'd try to get rid of them if they didn't tend to show up with expensive booze.
Happy New Year, and such fun to meet you all last night.
In a true shaggy dog story, there is no payoff. (Though see Weiner 2005 for a more nuanced position.)
To whoever brought the Oban: thanks.
that was truly a great party, gang, so thanks for the hosting and thanks to everyone who travelled to be there. I remember everything that happened, which is interesting for a change. I never got to listen to Spackerman's rare Clash LP with the cover of Desmond Dekker's 'Israelites' on it, though, so I'm coming back later this week. will all the bacon be gone?
Were those ackerman's LP's? I flipped through them and thought, "damn, someone has some cool Clash bootlegs."
59 -- I wanted him to taste the wine I brought.
All is not lost. What was it? Maybe I can pick some up. Or, perhaps you'd be willing to entertain an exchange? I have quite a bit of the House Brand on hand, and am always willing to try something different good.
Drop me a line.
I did not have sexual relations with anybody at that party.
JM imports her sexual relations wholesale from Persia.
Dear UnfoggeDConnists, (-ites?, -ers?)
I had a lovely time at your party. You all are truly smashing and give the internets a good name. I particularly enjoyed the knee-dance, Spencer's interpretative drum-dance, and every single dance move made by Jack Mormon. FL, I want to be at every party you are at. Thanks to the gracious hosts!!
Cheers from a former unblogger,
The Girl Who Came with the Guy in the Horse Sweater and Goat Beard
No, no, no, Chopper, you slept with my feet.
Catherine has disappointingly few up.
100: Thanks. I did see any in Cappseus's Unfogged Flickr group.
Cappseus has to check his e-mail to hook my seekret Flickr account up to membership in the Unfogged group.
100. Darn! She doesn't have even one picture of your lapdance from Labs.
110 s/b"did not see any" obvs.
98: Look, I'm an old boring married guy, and I'll make what innuendo I can make whenever I can make it.
Also, it was incredibly kind of you to share the couch with me when a few extra of us wound up staying over. We old guys get really sore sleeping on plywood floors.
105.--Well, Ficke stole my couch, so I had to invade the one you were on.
I have a picture of the Labs-w-lfs-n lap dance, but it's going to take me some time to upload them, I'm sorry to say.
Chopper, I don't fully understand your secret-flickr-account-posting scheme. Are you setting up a new account just for these pictures? Are you also blurring faces, and if so, whose?
106: I have trouble feeling sorry for either of you when I ended up sleeping in a chair.
I didn't get laid, goddamnit. Fuck Stanley for bringing his (extraordinarily cute/pretty/beautiful/sweet/charming) girlfriend.
Ditto w-lfs-n's thanks to the Oban-bringer, and to Chopper for finding some brown alcohol when I was despairing that it was all gone.
Labs is fucking hilarious (but you all knew that) and I woulda kicked his ass if he hadn't been so drunk that it would have been cruel.
Chopper owes me some bacon. IYKWIMAITTYD.
Alameida is actually about a jillion times more gorgeous and fabulous than those of you who haven't met her yet imagine her to be.
MattF is much cuter than he has ever let on.
I am disappointed that I didn't get more time to talk to Mr. Helpy-Chalk, who was busy chattering about philosophy or some shit like that in the kitchen with Hilzoy. (Also Labs, until I dragged him away to punch Spencer and spank w-lfs-n.)
I happen to know that there were at least four people who got laid, but I ain't saying who.
SEK is the nicest fucking person on the internets. Hilariously, though, he didn't know what "the internets" meant and thought it was weird that Berube used that term in his talk, until I explained.
And LeBlanc, I TOLD you you could come back to the hotel with us. But nooooo. Even after I told you I wanted to get laid. Bitch.
Hey, was that your becorseted back in one of Catherine's pictures?
'Twas. And my becorseted cleavage in another one of those pics floating around. I can't check out the flikr stuff yet, though, b/c I'm on dialup.
I happen to know that there were at least four people who got laid
Are we talking four hookups? Or four people? Either way, I think your estimate is low.
Stanley and his girlfriend def. win the cutest couple award.
112: Four people that I know of. I hate you all.
113: For sure. I told him that myself. I didn't tell him that I was totally fucking pissed off that he had a girlfriend, though. Asshole.
114b: Don't worry, b, none of us will let him know either.
Stanley and his girlfriend def. win the cutest couple award.
Aw, thanks. She (who appears to have decided to go by "eekbeat") brings up our average greatly.
Well, yeah. You look like a raccoon.
Oh, uh, hi. I hope she doesn't hate me for thinking her boyfriend's fucking adorable.
118: Exactly.
119: As far as I can tell, she would be in agreement.
(Then again, she's got pretty bad eyesight; you may just need to update your prescription, B.)
Dude, I told you I was disappointed that you were coupled up already. Don't fish.
totally fucking pissed off that he had a girlfriend
That makes two of us, although it helps that said girlfriend (hi, eekbeat!) is ludicrously awesome.
123: Completely. Eekbeat, you're totally invited to any party I throw, ever.
Leaving the internet for awhile, but everyone at the DCon was hott and all the other blogs want to sleep with unfogged.
Stanley: I'm creating a separate, non-mother-in-law-findable account just to post these pictures. I'm blurring Labs' face because of his stated desire for anonymity in general. Anybody else who wants to be blurred, speak up, although I took a pretty sweet picture of you, Stanley, so don't you speak up.
I love it that the Ezra Klein thread in which Elizabeth Edwards shows up is the one in which Neil links to the UnfoggeDCon nipple shot.
Just think, guys, it's entirely possible that E. Edwards has looked at your nipples. As if the party wasn't already worth it.
127: Yeah, that is pretty awesome. If I ever meet her on the campaign trail, I'll have to mention it.
This sounds really good, sort of annoyed I couldn't make it.
109: You know, if I hadn't just given a talk on professionalism at the MLA (link in case any interested parties missed it), this would no doubt be my new motto:
SEK: The nicest fucking person on the internets.
"Eekbeat" is a good name for a band. Not as good as "The Angry Anger", though.
"Eekbeat" is more a name of a style.
113: Thanks!! And I disagree with the raccoon comment (courteously, of course).
123 and 124: He is adorable, so no worries. I hope to see you both in person sometime soon!!
113: It's my demenses that keeps out of consideration, isn't it?
You saw both of them in person on Saturday, most likely.
I thought it might work well if I ever realized my dream of becoming a slam poet who writes the jams on the back of brown paper bags.
137 was me! I am still learning (obvs)
I should have included "again" in that sentiment.
139 -- doesn't that mean something like "property" or "domain"? Not getting it.
In a comment to the picture Smasher linked to in 135, I employed the phrase "the demesnes that there adjacent lie", relocated from Romeo and Juliet, where it mostly has the meaning of domain, and where it follows the line "By her fine foot, straight leg and quivering thigh".
Demenses are something else entirely, though found in the same area.
I know what "demesne" means, but not "demense".
Does it have anything to do with this?
You know I was thinking of that very comic.
I just want to note that the natural conclusion reached from 112 is that leblanc slept with five people. I'm not judging, more power to her, I'm just sayin'.
Chopper: Also, it was incredibly kind of you to share the couch with me when a few extra of us wound up staying over.
Jackmormon: Well, Ficke stole my couch, so I had to invade the one you were on.
Huh. I would have totally put my money on Chopper over MattF in a couchfight.
And yeah, that was a totally awesome party (despite w-lfs-n's presence), though I still can't figure out whether to thank or curse whoever it was who brought the ouzo.
Crap. That last post was by me. Damn remember info.
I guess M/lls isn't made of money after all. They've only got one 'puter between the two of 'em.
150: Me? Made of money? Whoever thought that?
Oh! Ouzo! I remember that! Ouzo is great; the mysterious bringer definitely goes in the benefactor, not the malefactor, camp.
Is ouzo that horrible stuff that smelled like licorice?
Your description is partially accurate.
Ben is right, it actually smells more like fennel.
I'm dumb enough to do massive tequila shots but even a whiff of that stuff was enough to turn my stomach.
The bringer belongs in the malefactor camp, in my book.
I bet this means that you lived X years in New Orleans and never once had a sazerac, or touched a bottle of Herbsaint. What a waste.
Those all might be fine liquors on their own but not when broken out at 3 AM after people are already loaded on spiked cider, wine, and tequila.
150: Me? Made of money? Whoever thought that?
Dude, the ouzo-bringer was a malefactor. After my experience in Turkey with rakı, I stay away from all that shit. Yikes.
Although tequila's not much better. After that first shot, I kind of thought I might die. Hence my expression the second time 'round.
Hey now, raki (at least Cretan raki) and ouzo aren't really the same.
And you know—tequila can actually be good, if you get some that's decent and you drink it at a reasonable pace.
Raki, ouzo, and pastis are all largely anise-flavored liquors, transparent in the bottle and cloudy with only a little water. I like them all a lot, but they're not to be drunk at the end of a party because nothing else is around. That way leads to misery.
Ah, the raki in Crete really is different.
Hm, that is a strange sort of raki indeed.
they're not to be drunk at the end of a party because nothing else is around
Why not choose a real-life hypothetical, Jackmo?
Ouzo is indeed delicious, especially if it's Lesbian ouzo, which is indeed what was at the party. I just probably should have shown a little more moderation in my appetite for it that night.
It also leads to me stealing your designated couch, apparently. Uh, sorry about that.
I was too drunk felt too sorry for you at that point to hold any grudges, Matt F.
Also, my UnfoggeDCon photos are finally up at the group pool. All but the ones with Labs, which are, unfortunately, the funniest.