Re: Web 3.0

1

I presume it only outputs a pair of names if both parties list each other? But then it seems like it might be a really small dance.


Posted by: arthegall | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 7:31 AM
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Yeah, it only lists the mutual matches. It sounds like everyone goes to the dance but, given the nature of the algorithm, not everyone comes away with matches.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 7:33 AM
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the names of people? Multiple matches would make for a pretty awkward situation.


Posted by: L. | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 7:36 AM
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Clearly this is a project for the Unfogged community.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 7:37 AM
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"It sounds like everyone goes to the dance but, given the nature of the algorithm, not everyone comes away with matches."

Sounds too much like the whole college experience already.

Anyway, my next question, since Becks seems to be Sausagely's stand-in this morning: why (pray tell) do we think that his classmates would do this right before graduation? Wouldn't the appropriate time for this be (oh, I don't know) sometime in the third year? Long enough to have an unrequited crush, not so long that you're both about to move to different cities. Or something.


Posted by: arthegall | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 7:39 AM
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I'd think that the Last Chance aspect was pretty important to the concept of this dance, namely that there's no embarrassment in letting that person know you want to bang them since you are about to graduate and probably never see them again. After graduation, I'm not sure how many people would be willing to let that information out into the open, even if it was done in good faith.


Posted by: Drew | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 7:39 AM
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If you'd wanted my number, Becks, you could've just asked me.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 7:40 AM
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wa this Dalton or Harvard?


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 7:41 AM
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"Multiple matches would make for a pretty awkward situation"
I don't see the problem here.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 7:41 AM
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Was there a maximum number of names you could enter?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 7:41 AM
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Presumably a number no larger than the size of the graduating class -1.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 7:46 AM
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I'm thinking you'd want some kind of ranking system...


Posted by: L. | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 7:47 AM
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12: Yes, otherwise you get into all sort of self-strategy games that take away the fun: "I really want A, but I think B is more likely, and that would be better than nothing."

But then, what to do when A wants X, then Y, while X wants B, then A, etc., etc.?

Clearly, the only fair solution is to lock the doors until everyone gets laid by someone.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 7:52 AM
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"the only fair solution is to lock the doors until everyone gets laid by someone."

This strategy might have its own problems, too.


Posted by: arthegall | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 8:03 AM
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I don't think this improves on social networking sites for strangers (nerve, salon, match, eharmony, etc.). Listing someone on such a list wouldn't say anything different from contacting them in the first place. As for social networking sites that overlay real-life social groups (eg facebook), reputation and word of mouth would probably take care of the bad faith problem--I think I'd end up listing my first choice, waiting a month or two to see if that person listed me, then deleting that name and moving on to the next person.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 8:14 AM
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namely that there's no embarrassment in letting that person know you want to bang them since you are about to graduate and probably never see them again.

But the only way they would find that out is if they wanted to bang you, too; hence, no embarrassment in the first place.


Posted by: dagger aleph | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 8:29 AM
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ah, the 'getlaid' problem (as we used to call it in college, in reference to the 'getdate' program we had, itself a parody of standard online dating matchup systems). In the sort of late-night discussions where this came up, the focus was usually on whether there had to be a trusted third-party operating the system, or whether sneaky crypto tricks would let only interested parties in on the information.


Posted by: Nathan Williams | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 8:34 AM
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It sounds altogether too mortifying.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 8:34 AM
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Given the large number of computer programmers who are Libertarians
But who wants to have sex with them?


Posted by: minneapolitan | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 8:35 AM
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And anyway, I just assume that anyone who comments on my blog wants to sleep with me.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 8:37 AM
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20: That's what has kept me around.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 8:44 AM
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Wait... I want to take a step back here: are colleges these days in the business of helping their students get laid? Has this become part of their educational mission?


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 8:45 AM
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Isn't the twentyfirst century wonderful?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 8:46 AM
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Also, doesn't this post make the assumption that libertarian==utilitarian? That's not completely valid, is it?


Posted by: arthegall | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 8:46 AM
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Not for the one I chatted with on Saturday.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 8:50 AM
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I generally assume that libertarian==objectivist, which is the exact opposite of utilitarian.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 9:21 AM
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Fine, whatever. Let's not let squabbling over utilitarian/objectivist/rationality/etc. make us overlook that this is a great idea.

I bet w-lfs-n could whip up something like this for Unfogged. I can't see any possible problems with that plan.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 9:24 AM
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The problem is that everyone at Unfogged who has met in person has already had sex with each other.

I agree that this is a great way to solve a collective action problem.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 9:25 AM
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Didn't we already have a blogcrush declaration thread? Can't we all just be more forthright and bold?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 9:26 AM
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But Ned, that could lead to shameful, contemptuous sex, exactly the kind of rapture you had wanted!


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 9:30 AM
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30->26, although given Ogged's cruel mastery, it works for 28.


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 9:30 AM
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27: If w-lfs-n were to whip this up, I think we can expect the results to be somewhat skewed. And littered with c0ck photos. You need an unbiased and unavailable programmer.


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 10:15 AM
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Also, I don't trust Ben to properly implement the w-lfs-n Cockblock module.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 10:20 AM
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I think I'd end up listing my first choice, waiting a month or two to see if that person listed me, then deleting that name and moving on to the next person.

I want you to pine away for at least 6 mo, Ogged. Don't expect me to be moved by a mere month or two.


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 10:25 AM
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29 gets it exactly right.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 10:42 AM
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32: since, presumably, there would be a moment of truth in which people actually found out which of their submitted names got matches, and they would know whom they had submitted, I'm not sure it's actually possible for the programmer to skew results in h/h favor.

You'd better believe that, say, SCMT would find himself even less loved than he suspects, though.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 11:18 AM
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Here's a start... Define relevant group of people. Each person in group makes a list of all the people in the group they would like to sleep with. Ranks them according to preference ordinally, and then gives each a score on a scale of intensity of desire consistent with ordinal rank. Submits. The system finds all pairs of listmakers who list each other. Then, according to some complex rule on which the entire thing depends (total cardinal desire divided by distance between ordinal positions on respective lists plus some tie-breaking rule?), determines the level of mutual attraction of all pairs. Each person receive name of person in their highest scoring mutual attraction pair who is not in a higher scoring pair with someone else.

Option: if you are not paired, and someone who has listed you, but you have not listed, is also unpaired, submit yourself as a candidate match for that person if the following conditions obtain: (a) I will will fuck anybody who wants to fuck me, so go ahead (b) they are listed on n other lists and/or (c) they are listed on lists of n "taste friends" (where a "taste friend" is someone in group with same-object-preference whose taste you trust) and/or (d) you are top quarter/half/third top-ranked/whatever, on their list.

In general, such a procedure should: assign each person to only one pair; maximize number of pairs.


Posted by: Will Wilkinson | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 11:24 AM
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36: All he needs is Kwame.


Posted by: Pooh | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 11:27 AM
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Really, we could all just cut out the middleman by naming the people we've always wanted to hook up with in this here thread.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 11:30 AM
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I would have guessed that you neurotics would have preferred a slightly different arrangement, where people list who they don't want to sleep with, the list is made public, and then you can start lusting after all the people who don't like you. We could call it Shopping At Kotsko.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 11:31 AM
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That's a very cruel suggestion, Ogged.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 11:32 AM
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Also, thank god Wilkinson is a libertarian, because I don't want him running my nanny state.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 11:34 AM
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It looks as if you're suggesting, Will, an algorithm that would maximize matched desires among individual candidate pairs but potentially fail to maximize matched desires across all possible pairs, or maximize the number of possible pairs. It's possible that, by trying to give each person his or her highest choice (or tried to make each pair have the highest aggregate desire), someone ends up getting matched with no one at all, while if you gave some people their second (or nth) choices, more people would get matches which, while not their top choices, and which resulted in less total hottness than possible, would at least be, say, worthwhile, and more total people would get matched up in the end.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 11:34 AM
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I'm so glad Will worked this out.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 11:36 AM
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I have a philosophical problem with this whole idea of ranking one's objects of desire.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 11:37 AM
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43: But his end line about maxing pairs takes care of your main concern. Under those conditions, the program keeps testing until it finds a match for everyone. More likely, start by matching everyone, then start improving matches.

The risk is that the picky loser throws the whole system into disarray. If you won't list at least 10% of the pool, then you don't necessarily get any.

I might add that bi-curious matches could really complicate the algorithm: Really into Boy X but otherwise into Girls A, B, & C? Needing to balance g-g and b-b pairings?

No wonder CS types earn so much $$.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 11:42 AM
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45: Really? How do you choose among cars? Or shoes?

Is this a Boyfriend joke?


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 11:42 AM
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I told you the Libertarians would be the ones to handle this problem.

I think the solution to this problem already exists. I'm thinking of the algorithms used for medical residency placement or sorority rush.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 11:44 AM
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I don't care about cars, as long as they run. Shoes are often a difficult choice, and depend, of course, on one's wardrobe, what they'll go with, the cost, and so on. Just as with men.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 11:44 AM
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I'm thinking of the algorithms used for medical residency placement or sorority rush.

Also noted here.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 11:50 AM
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29: "Didn't we already have a blogcrush declaration thread? Can't we all just be more forthright and bold?"

bphd:
"29 gets it exactly right"

ooh--she's going for forthright boldness!

bphd:
39:
"Really, we could all just cut out the middleman by naming the people we've always wanted to hook up with in this here thread."

ooh--she's about to name names!

45:
"I have a philosophical problem with this whole idea of ranking one's objects of desire."

awwww....the crowd lets out a sigh of disappointment. she got up to the edge... and balked.

c'mon, forthright, bold one--cut out the middleman! name names!


Posted by: kid bitzer | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 11:59 AM
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Oh shit, now Ben is going to be Gary, too?


Posted by: DaveL | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 11:59 AM
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Whoo hoo! Finally a use for my Graph Theory class in college!

This is just an Assignment Problem if we consider a big bunch of straight people (so no bisexuals mucking up the bipartite nature of the graph. If people assign a number to their lust, you can multiply the two lust-numbers together for each pair to get the lust-weighting for that pairing (not listed = zero lust = no chance of pairing being chosen). Then there are a few different algorithms (including a couple easy ones based on Gaussian Elimination) that will maximize the total lust for the whole group. This will probably not result in the maximal number of "acceptable" pairings, but that would also be an easy problem to solve.

I'm trying to figure out a good matching algorithm for a "mostly bipartite" graph that would solve this problem for the case of gay and bisexual pairings, but I sense that any such solution would be tough enough to qualify as a thesis.


Posted by: JAC | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:02 PM
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51: You don't want me to do that. There will be hearts broken all over teh internets.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:02 PM
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JAC - Can I get an acknowledgement in your dissertation?


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:04 PM
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54: why would the breaking of other people's hearts be a disincentive to me? our withers are unwrung.


Posted by: kid bitzer | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:06 PM
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It's not like I'm subtle about it. Anyway, if I thought anyone would follow suit, I'd totally do it, but if I do it and no one else does then I just look like a self-promoting ass.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:08 PM
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57:
fear of appearing "self-promoting"?
interesting way of describing the fear of rejection.


Posted by: kid bitzer | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:11 PM
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Rejection? My ass. I don't care if people reject me. It's not like I'm not getting plenty already.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:13 PM
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but looking 'self-promoting'--that's something to care about.
i'll keep that in mind.


Posted by: kid bitzer | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:15 PM
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Eh, I wouldn't mind, except Ogged makes fun of me for it.

That said, I'd still sleep with him. I like men who give me shit. Why do you think I hang out here?

I'll name names by saying that if I liked chicks, I'd *totally* be making plays for LeBlanc and Alameida.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:18 PM
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55 - Sure, but you're not getting equity in my booty-call-optimization start-up


Posted by: JAC | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:20 PM
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okay, you get points for forthright boldness, then.
or at least, conditional boldness.
or at least, *if* I gave points for conditional boldness, I'd *totally* give you some.


Posted by: kid bitzer | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:21 PM
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Sorority rush involves algorithms? Who knew!


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:22 PM
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Forthright boldness *and* no fear of rejection. Ogged wouldn't sleep with me if I were the last woman on earth.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:22 PM
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Judging by the folks at the party, the women of Unfogged really are an exceptionally attractive bunch. I'd be really, really hard-pressed to pare a list down much, if any.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:23 PM
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Apo, you're such a slut.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:25 PM
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nah, apo just didn't want to appear self-promoting, that's all.
and he was drunk.


Posted by: kid bitzer | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:27 PM
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You sure know how to take a compliment, b.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:28 PM
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66: Why do I feel like one of the objects of derision from the St. Crispin's day speech for not having been there?

(and god, there's such an easy joke just sitting there...)


Posted by: Pooh | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:29 PM
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That's one of my father's favorites.

I mean the original, not your charming revision.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:29 PM
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You sure know how to take a compliment, b.

I'm a bad influence.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:30 PM
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69: You know perfectly well that I suck at taking compliments well.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:31 PM
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72: You wish.

(I actually think it's probably against the rules to flirt with SB.)


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:33 PM
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strange, i would have said that when one little girl has been singing very prettily, and someone in the audience remarks that, to his mind, really all the little girls in the class have very pleasant voices, this is not the same thing as a compliment to the soloist.


Posted by: kid bitzer | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:34 PM
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75: Bad analogy. I'm not, nor ever was, a soloist. Saying that one particular member of an ensemble cast is remarkable is really a backhanded insult to everyone else, and Apo is enough of a gentleman to know that.

As am I, which is why I won't name names.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:36 PM
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True, but if B didn't realize that, I don't see why you had to go and point it out, bitzer.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:36 PM
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We all know you mean me, bitch.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:37 PM
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You wish.

You say, "It's all about me". I say, it's all about me. Let's settle all about which me it is, shall we?


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:37 PM
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Rumble out back in five.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:38 PM
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I'm not trying to preserve anybody's feelings. It honestly was a flophouse full of beautiful young women and slightly tubby, bearded guys.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:41 PM
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81: Hardly. There were a number of guys there I would have slept with if anyone had tried. Pout.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:42 PM
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B, when you asked for my suggestion on whom to sleep with, you pooh-pooh'd my response as unserious. Or were you just trying to preserve my feelings?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:44 PM
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81 demonstrates my contention that ranking is stupid, btw.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:45 PM
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83: I didn't want Roberta to kick my ass.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:46 PM
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The results are in. B won on accuracy, but she could stand to pick up some touch.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:48 PM
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I've been drooling over the photos for the last two days.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:49 PM
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86: Yeah, I'm often bad at the subtleties.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:52 PM
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the photos--i have made no attempt to look.
the last thing i want to see are pictures of attractive young people enjoying a good time.
part of why i've never gone in for porn.


Posted by: kid bitzer | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:52 PM
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89: Suit yourself, kid, but you're missing a shot of BitchPhD and me making out.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:53 PM
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That is to say, not everybody there was young.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:54 PM
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no, nor enjoying a good time, by that account.


Posted by: kid bitzer | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:55 PM
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Now that *is* ungentlemanly!


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:55 PM
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Further considerations:

Cardinal honesty: you can increase your chances of matching by misrepresenting the difference in intensity of desire for those you list (i.e., if the desire-intensity scale is 1-10, then just start from 10 and count down by one). This could result in suboptimal matching relative to true preferences. Bad.

Infidelity exceptions: How about people who are already part of a monogamous pair? They should be able to play, too. Rank everyone you would cheat on your s/o with, given certain conditions (e.g., you are at the top of their list). There are also cases where one's partner will allow extra-partner couplings with certain people (e.g., "If you ever get the chance to sleep with Angelina Jolie, go for it!") So members of prior pairs can list people their partner is free to sleep with, if matched (though it is, I'm sure, impossible to credibly commit to no reprisals, so take care.)

For my own part, there was no one at the flophouse party other than the gf I would have been willing to sleep with (a sentiment I hope she shared), which may or may not be one reason we left early.

Dimensions of maximization: w-lfs-n raises this problem. (a) Total desire maximization? (b) Desire maximization per pair? Or (c) maximization of total pairs? As a strident anti-utilitarian, I reject (a), and demand we think of it as a contractarian bargaining situation. Your self-perceived degree of desirability will determine whether you like (b) or (c) best. And in such a situation, a veil of ignorance seems retarded. If you think you will be on lots of lists or people you would list, you will prefer (b), unless you are bizarrely altruistic about hook ups. If you're worried about your chances, you'll like (c). So, obviously, (b). But the algorithm could be conditional, and the group could just vote on the dimension of maximization.

I am way too interested in this.


Posted by: Will Wilkinson | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:56 PM
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i don't think i hurt apo's feelings that much.

oh; you mean you? you, who said
"I like men who give me shit. Why do you think I hang out here?"
so long as they're not ungentlemanly, that is.


Posted by: kid bitzer | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 12:58 PM
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there was no one at the flophouse party other than the gf I would have been willing to sleep with

Okay, but you're a libertarian.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:00 PM
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96: Not to mention a liar, if Will's the guy who complimented me rather pointedly on my top.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:02 PM
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the last thing i want to see are pictures of attractive young people enjoying a good time

I've got some photos of miserable, homely older folks that you might be interested in.


Posted by: My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:02 PM
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95: I was originally referring to Apo's comment, but since you bring it up, points are taken away for petulance.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:03 PM
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OK B, I'll bite. I'm dying to fuck OPINONATED GRANDMA.

Now you.


Posted by: dagger aleph | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:03 PM
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"Okay, but you're a libertarian."

Huh? Libertarians don't sex non-libertarians? Or non-libertarians don't sex libertarians? False and false!


Posted by: Will Wilkinson | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:03 PM
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Not to mention a liar, if Will's the guy who complimented me rather pointedly on my top.

Not all compliments are coded sexual advances. Or if they are, then damn, I've been going about this all wrong.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:04 PM
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Will is suspiciously good at this.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:04 PM
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102: Compliments on women whose tits are being shoved out of tight-laced corsets pretty much are, though.

100: Opinionated Grandma is eminently fuckable simply by virtue of her name alone, it's true.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:06 PM
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b, I can't tell you your top was very hot (I also liked your glasses!) and still be committed to an exclusive pair-bond?


Posted by: Will Wilkinson | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:06 PM
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"On" s/b "too." Also, *willingness* to sleep with someone /= sexual advance.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:07 PM
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Compliments on women whose tits are being shoved out of tight-laced corsets pretty much are, though.

Oh, you meant, if Will's the guy who complimented me on my rather pointed top.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:08 PM
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105: Committed monogomy also /= (theoretical) willingness to sleep with someone.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:08 PM
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"Compliments on women whose tits are being shoved out of tight-laced corsets pretty much are, though."

When free-riding on uninternalized positive externalities, the very least I can do is offer a verbal subsidy.


Posted by: Will Wilkinson | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:09 PM
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107: It'll surprise you to know, SB, that I do occasionally pay attention to my word choice, yes.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:09 PM
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111

108: Well, yes. There is a possible world in which I am willing to sleep with you.

Also, for what it's worth, there is also a possible world in which I am (my counterpart) is a blueberry.


Posted by: Will Wilkinson | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:11 PM
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109: See, this is why libertarians are so annoying. Lots of jargon simply to say "I don't believe in anything but rational intent."


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:11 PM
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111: But is there a possible world in which I'm willing to sleep with a libertarian? I somehow doubt it.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:13 PM
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114

A=A, B.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:13 PM
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115

112: I though I was saying that I want to encourage women to show off their lovely bosoms.


Posted by: Will Wilkinson | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:14 PM
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113: There is a possible world in which you ARE a libertarian!


Posted by: Will Wilkinson | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:15 PM
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Possible worlds are baloney.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:16 PM
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118

It's a world without color or laughter, though.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:17 PM
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115: Don't worry, Will, I picked up on it.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:17 PM
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Yes. In some possible worlds.


Posted by: Will Wilkinson | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:17 PM
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121

120 to 117


Posted by: Will Wilkinson | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:18 PM
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115: Meaningless, given that one mustn't enjoy it, what with monogamous pair-bonding and all.

119: Ah, but you *would* sleep with me. Theoretically.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:18 PM
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123

There is a possible world where w-lfs-n is made out of baloney and all libertarians have lovely bosoms.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:19 PM
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I do occasionally pay attention to my word choice, yes.

Then, by way of complimenting 104, let me express my willingness to have sex with you in the nearest possible world.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:19 PM
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116: In such a world, I would no longer be me. QED.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:20 PM
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123: Paradise!


Posted by: Will Wilkinson | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:20 PM
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124: I'll make an exception to my brains-on-sticks rule, then, and express reciprocity.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:23 PM
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There is a possible world where B is theoretically sleeping with w-lfs-n.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:25 PM
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125: I had no idea ideological inflexibility could be metaphysically necessary!


Posted by: Will Wilkinson | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:26 PM
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You're better at sex when you've been doing it for decades...but at that point, you're sick of it and whoever you've been doing it with. The logical next step is to start hiring out your lovemaking talents for money. But in one of life's sick ironies, almost everyone who wants a prostitute or wants to see norpography wants it to involve young and inexperienced people.

Market inefficiencies abound in this demesne. When oh when will courtesan be once again a respected profession in which one can train one's daughters?

Granny


Posted by: OPINIONATED GRANDMA | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:26 PM
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"bitchphd" is, like "Air Force One", non-rigid; it never denotes a libertarian.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:27 PM
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128: Not at the moment, since I'm in Minneapolis sleeping with my boyfriend.

129: There's inflexibility, and then there are bottom-line principles.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:28 PM
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However, if I weren't in Minneapolis sleeping with my boyfriend, I would totally jump 130 and 131.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:29 PM
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134

brains-on-sticks

You don't know that for certain.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:30 PM
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132: But I thought you believed in non-rational intent!


Posted by: Will Wilkinson | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:31 PM
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I want to see some old-person norpography.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:31 PM
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134: Indeed, I feel certain that it's not true. Nonetheless, given the mystery that is you, it's all I have to base my desire on, yes?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:32 PM
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138

"Norpography" is a winner.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:33 PM
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Compliments on women whose tits are being shoved out of tight-laced corsets pretty much are, though.

That was a great corset.


Posted by: Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:34 PM
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135: I also believe that intent is irrelevant, rational or no. And even in unintended actions, individual and collective.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:34 PM
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Indeed, I feel certain that it's not true.

Really, you think I'm the other kind of brain? That's not what you said before.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:36 PM
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139: If only you'd been there, Joe.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:36 PM
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140: So you would sleep with me!


Posted by: Will Wilkinson | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:36 PM
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THANK YOU 138 I do not enjoy the mechanical types of googleproofing when we know that words are easily comprehensible in context after their spellings have been altered, so why not just alter the spelling.


Posted by: OPINIONATED GRANDMA | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:37 PM
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I'm pretty sure, Standpipe, that you have a lovely stick.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:37 PM
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146

Can a brain be both in a vat and on a stick? If so, why? (aside from fondue-related purposes)


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:39 PM
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143: Initially I thought so; but I'm too well bred, and too well read, to have either conscious or unconscious interest in those who aren't interested in me.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:39 PM
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My apologies, 141 is terribly dimorphist.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:40 PM
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149

145
"I'm pretty sure, Standpipe, that you have a lovely stick."

watch out, sb. upthread, she offered to pet my lance.


Posted by: kid bitzer | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:40 PM
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146: The vat is on the stick, and the brain is in the vat.


Posted by: My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:41 PM
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I love fondue. I love OPINIONATED GRANDMA. Is it getting warm in here?


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:41 PM
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If only you'd been there, Joe.

Tell me about it.


Posted by: Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:42 PM
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153

Getting? Now I'm beginning to entertain the possibility that Standpipe is actually a frog.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:43 PM
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154

I for one would like to see some Standpipe-on-GRANDMA norpography.


Posted by: My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:44 PM
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152: Well, if you'd been there, I might have gotten laid. Dammit.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:44 PM
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Standpipe-on-GRANDMA-on-a-stick norpography.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:44 PM
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157

Standpipe is actually a frog

Surely not this one.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:46 PM
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147: I often find those who aren't interested in me really, really interesting, consciously and probably unconsciously (though in principle I guess couldn't know that).


Posted by: Will Wilkinson | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:46 PM
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146: The vat is on the stick, and the brain is in the vat.

And the green grass grows all around, all around?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:48 PM
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160

I didn't get laid at the party either, B, so I went home and took care of that. All for the best, really; don't want to break any hearts.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:48 PM
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161

Brain on a fondue fork? Would that even work, or is brain too mushy?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:48 PM
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Surely not this one.

I note without comment that Crazy Frog is described as having "a set of ambiguous but controversial genitalia."


Posted by: My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:50 PM
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I can agree with 158. I mean, what's more worthy of investigation than the bizarre possibility that someone could be blind to one's charms?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:50 PM
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Maybe beer-battered brain.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:50 PM
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don't want to break any hearts.

I doubt you weigh enough to really inflict much damage, JM. But if you were really worried about that, you could have just borrowed Ackerman's flak jacket and haunched with abandon.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:50 PM
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160: Yes, but I had to wait *almost 36 hours* before I could rectify the omission. The horror!


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:52 PM
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Well, if you'd been there, I might have gotten laid. Dammit.

Might have, if you'd played your cards right.


Posted by: Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:52 PM
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159: And on that grass there grew a tree, and on that tree there was a limb, and on that limb there was a branch, and on that branch there was a nest, and in that nest there was an egg, and in that egg there was a bird, and from that bird a feather came, and of that feather was...a bed!


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:52 PM
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169

In a possible world, everybody got laid at the party. And in another possible world, nobody. In a possible world, there was a 3 AM pillowfight and then we all braided each other's hair and made waffles.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:52 PM
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170

beer-battered brain


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:53 PM
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167: Alas, I'm just terrible at bluffing. Though I'll call a bluff every single time.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:54 PM
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172

Our old favorite Lucy Mangan has the definitive take on Crazy Frog's naughty bits.


Posted by: My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:54 PM
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Oh my god, waffles.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:54 PM
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174

We should probably not cross the possible world where we made waffles with the one where Will is a blueberry.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:55 PM
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175

In a possible world, there was a 3 AM pillowfight and then we all braided each other's hair and made waffles.

w-lfs-n's hair is unbraidable, as is Labs's.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:56 PM
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176

At any future such party I am able to attend, I'm absolutely up for waffles.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:57 PM
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177

My hair has in the past been braidable, albeit not very much so.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:57 PM
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178

God I wish I'd written 174.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:57 PM
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179

Waffles Will Willkinson sine theta.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:57 PM
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180

You can't cross waffles with a blueberry; a blueberry is a scalar.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:59 PM
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181

Speaking of waffles, my mom gave me a Mickey Mouse waffler for Xmas; a pity, since I'd bought myself a Hello Kitty waffler not a week before. I hereby donate Mickey to the next Unfogged party.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 1:59 PM
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182

On the subject of this thread, 179 and 180 make me want to have sex with their respective authors.

Preferably simultaneously.


Posted by: m. leblanc | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:01 PM
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183

Jealous! I want Hello Kitty waffles.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:01 PM
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184

182: But I thought we were all supposed to block w-lfs-n getting laid.

183: Dude, I found it at Target for $15. They may still have them.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:03 PM
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182: If I'd only known you back when I was at MIT, I could have introduced you to many, many people you would have found desirable.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:04 PM
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186

Willkinson displays admirable altruism in devising a hookup maximization strategy despite the fact that he's already hooked up.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:04 PM
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187

And to think all I had to do was recognize the joke to which SB was referring and continue it uncreatively.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:04 PM
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188

Back when you were at MIT, LB, I think leblanc was a little young.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:05 PM
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189

I thought libertarians didn't believe in altruism.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:05 PM
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184 - Sadly, I already have a waffle maker. I want some waffles now, man.

Ben had never heard of Chicken And Waffles.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:05 PM
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191

OT (except that it's to try to cheer up a friend about not getting laid): any of you DC types know a decent florist in Alexandria?


Posted by: DaveL | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:07 PM
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192

Fuck waffles. Chili Half Smokes all around!


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:08 PM
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193

Is it really the case that B was the only person who didn't macked on, as the kids say? Sweet, sweet party gods.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:09 PM
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194

192: SPEAKING OF. WHERE IS MY BACON? THE BOYFRIEND AND I DEMAND IT.

193: I got macked on, but only in the pathetic "I don't really mean it" sense, as Will at least has the dubious character to freely admit.

In other news, I hate you, Ogged.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:11 PM
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195

Next party I am definitely arranging to not be taking a plane at 9 the next morning.


Posted by: Nathan Williams | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:13 PM
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196

B, you are such a liar! I was totally macking on you.


Posted by: m. leblanc | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:13 PM
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197

Also, everyone who comments here is a big old slut.


Posted by: m. leblanc | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:14 PM
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194: IT'S IN MY FREEZER. I AM BUSY TONIGHT. MAYBE LUNCH TOMORROW? DO YOU WANT BROWN SUGAR, BLACK PEPPER, OR HUNGARIAN?


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:15 PM
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199

I slept with Chopper.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:15 PM
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196: You and I really need to just get a room, LeBlanc. The guys don't appreciate the slutty girls *nearly* enough.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:16 PM
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201

Also, let it be known that I received no macking. I may have been too busy drinking and hiding behind my camera.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:17 PM
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198: DO I HAVE TO CHOOSE? LUNCH TOMORROW SOUNDS GREAT. UPTOWN? MY HAIR APPOINTMENT IS AT 3.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:18 PM
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199: You slept with my feet JM.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:20 PM
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204

You two shared a couch, but slept with your heads on opposite ends? That's genuinely sweet. Or really dirty. I don't know, and I don't want to know.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:21 PM
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205

SCREW UPTOWN. LETS MEET AT SAWATDEE (NOT THE WAREHOUSE DISTRICT, THE ONE ON WASHINGTON) AT NOON AND HAVE PAD THAI. OR DOES WHATSAMAPLACE ON LAKE SERVE LUNCH?


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:22 PM
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201: You brought home-cured bacon and no one macked on you in response? Kids these days, just don't know how to appreciate pork products.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:22 PM
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207

Nobody got any of the kielbasa I brought, no.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:25 PM
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206 - To be fair, we did have sex with the home-cured bacon.

204 - It was pretty adorable.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:25 PM
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209

I think I kinda passed out on what was supposed to be Jackmormon's couch, and she was kind enough to not dump me out on the floor.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:26 PM
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210

I wanted to mack on Chopper, but I was too busy trying to stop B from macking on my girlfriend.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:28 PM
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211

Well, actually, you passed out on what was supposed to be my couch, Ficke passed out on what was supposed to be Jackmormon's couch, and I ended up sleeping in a chair.

But yes, it was quite adorable.


Posted by: m. leblanc | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:29 PM
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212

Speaking of half-smokes, any DC kids or others know where I can order any online? I ate 4 last weekend and I still want more.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:32 PM
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182 - I dunno, 180 really loses its oomph without the epidemiology pun for that dual-joke pleasure. It probably just deserves a minor make-out session.


Posted by: JAC | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:33 PM
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214

The waffles are just a vector for the blueberries.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:35 PM
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205: YOU MEAN THE BF'S PLACE? IT DOES, BUT I ATE THERE YESTERDAY AND I DON'T WANT TO STALK THE MAN. I'M WILLING, THOUGH. I DON'T KNOW WHERE SAWATDEE IS, AND I DON'T HAVE A CAR.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:37 PM
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216

"I thought libertarians didn't believe in altruism."

I give and I give and I give and this is what I get.


Posted by: Will Wilkinson | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:40 PM
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217

WHAT THE FUCK? HAVE YOU PEOPLE HEARD OF E-MAIL? DON'T BE BRINGING BACON HERE UNLESS YOU HAVE ENOUGH TO SHARE.


Posted by: DaveL | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:41 PM
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218

210: Hey, I'd do you both.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:42 PM
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219

The guys don't appreciate the slutty girls *nearly* enough.

You are mistaken.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:43 PM
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220

I THOUGHT THAT WAS WHY YOU WANTED TO EAT IN UPTOWN. Anyway, doesn't he live right off Washington? It's here.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:43 PM
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221

I'd do every motherfucking last one of you.


Posted by: Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:44 PM
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222

I'm thinking Will would fit right in with my friends when we play Monopoly: "I'll sell you this property, but you can only charge me 20% rent the first two times I land on it, 50% the next two, and full rent only if I land on it five times. But if anyone else lands on it, I get 10% of the rent you charge them." Or does everyone play that way?


Posted by: ogged the mahometan | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:44 PM
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223

221: and the mothers we're fucking?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:44 PM
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Chopper I'm not sure you can order half-smokes online (google doesn't reveal anything right away), but I'd be happy to box up a care package for you personally.


Posted by: Sommer | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:45 PM
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225

Everyone's invited, Stanley.


Posted by: Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:45 PM
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226

It has to happen TONIGHT, though.


Posted by: Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:48 PM
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227

Sommer, I'm so taking you up on that.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:51 PM
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228

Christ, I hate Monopoly.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:53 PM
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229

It has to happen TONIGHT, though.

Hott. Everyone converge on Minneapolis. B, I'll be sure to invite eekbeat, lest you feel like you got the short end of the stick.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:53 PM
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230

No problem, JM; I'll buy all your properties for $100.


Posted by: ogged the mahometan | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:55 PM
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231

Stop remembering my religion, you fuckheaded browser!


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:55 PM
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232

Weren't you supposed to call the browser 'son of a thousand syphilitic camels,' or similar?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:56 PM
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219: True. As I remarked to LeBlanc, the older guys have got it going on, partly because they've learned a few things. Not dissing the slutty chicks is one of 'em.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 2:57 PM
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234

220: THE HAIRCUT IS UPTOWN. But Sawatdee is fine. Do you have my cell#?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 3:02 PM
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235

NO.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 3:07 PM
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236

YOU DO NOW.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 3:12 PM
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237

I can't believe you posted your number online, B, even if it's coded.


Posted by: Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 3:13 PM
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238

So soon you forget what a slut I am.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 3:16 PM
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239

Don't diss the slutty chicks, Joe, or you'll end up like me, beloved of God.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 3:16 PM
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240

Exactly. Though there's a remote chance you'll gain wisdom with age, Ogged.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 3:20 PM
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241

Of course, if I was really smart, I would have arranged a lunch after your hair appointment, so I could mack on a redhead. I love me some redheads.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 3:22 PM
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242

Hi Chopper.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 3:23 PM
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243

As I remarked to LeBlanc, the older guys have got it going on, partly because they've learned a few things.

OWNED BY 130


Posted by: OPINIONATED GRANDMA | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 3:25 PM
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244

I totally credited 130. But that was about girls, not boys.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 3:28 PM
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245

Apo, I already knelt at your feet and showed you my tits, what more signal could you want?


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 01- 3-07 3:35 PM
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246

This thread is making me rethink my position on monogamy.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01- 4-07 12:18 AM
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