Re: Lifelike, without parole.

1

Can't put a price on battling perversion.


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 01- 5-07 12:48 PM
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It sounds like he might also have a thing for breaking into windows to get the mannequins; that is, simply owning a mannequin may not be enough for him.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 01- 5-07 12:53 PM
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3

A splendid title, apo.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 5-07 12:54 PM
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4

Life in prison? Life?? For breaking into stores to steal mannequins?

What are we coming to?


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 01- 5-07 12:58 PM
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2: If the pursuit is what makes it hott, it would still be cheaper to buy him new windows every month. Or a crowbar and a nice little shed with a rusty lock.


Posted by: DominEditrix | Link to this comment | 01- 5-07 12:59 PM
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4: Well, we all know that sexually assaulting real women doesn't count. Plastics, after all, are worth money.


Posted by: DominEditrix | Link to this comment | 01- 5-07 1:00 PM
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So we could install a Real Doll ™ in a glass case with a little hammer saying "In case of emergency..." in his apartment, and still come out ahead.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01- 5-07 1:04 PM
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What are the options judges and juries have when handing down punishment for crimes? Execution, imprisonment, house arrest, probation, fines, and/or community service? Am I leaving anything out? It just seems that this case is a prime opportunity for creative sentencing.


Posted by: My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 01- 5-07 1:08 PM
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9

Was he a fed?


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 01- 5-07 1:09 PM
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10

Dear Dick Wolf,

Please cast Andrew McCarthy as the Ronald Dotson perp when you rip his story from the headlines.

Thx.


Posted by: Paul | Link to this comment | 01- 5-07 1:11 PM
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Sometimes you just wake up feeling like up a dummy.

Fixed that first sentence for ya, Apo.

And I agree w/ JM here. The thrill of stealing, nigh upon kidnapping and raping, the female mannequin has got to be part of the fetish for him. I mean, he has served "stints in state prison" for this? It's got to be worth $200 to avoid that, right?

The "Bendies" line of mannequins do look like a porno waiting to happen, though.


Posted by: Wrenae | Link to this comment | 01- 5-07 1:12 PM
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12

From the link in 9:

"I don't profess to be that knowledgeable about ladies' undergarments," Assistant Commonwealth's Attorney Ian M. Rodway said afterward when asked to describe the evidence.

Ahem.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 5-07 1:28 PM
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13

Did you just plagiarize Jeremy's post on this?


Posted by: Kier/an | Link to this comment | 01- 5-07 2:00 PM
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14

First I've heard of Mr. Freese, but it's a pretty obvious joke.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 5-07 2:09 PM
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Attorney Rodway needs to start reading blogs.

I suspect the punishment has something to do with some three strikes you're out thing?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 5-07 2:09 PM
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I'm saddened to realize that my comment at 2 was, apparently, the obvious comment in response to the obvious joke.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 01- 5-07 2:13 PM
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First I've heard of Mr. Freese, but it's a pretty obvious joke.

OK, no plagiarism, just no originality.

I'm sorry, I'll get my coat.


Posted by: Kier/an | Link to this comment | 01- 5-07 2:13 PM
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originality is overrated.


Posted by: joeo | Link to this comment | 01- 5-07 2:17 PM
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19

Damn straight, Joeo.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01- 5-07 2:19 PM
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What are the odds he thought of it as liberating them from the cold, thoughtless, impersonally intrusive stares of the public, locked as they were in their glass prisons? I'm especially impressed by the note that he broke the window, stole three, then left them lined up out back. I like to picture him patting one on the shoulder and saying, "Folks, I can only take you so far. After that, you're on your own. Godspeed."

Will no one think of the mind-blowingly insane pervy mannequin fanciers? Tsk.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 01- 5-07 2:45 PM
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In calculating the cost of prison alternatives, you also have to take into account the effect of the precedent, and the influence this will have on other people. If the state responded to this behavior by fixing him up with a Real Doll(TM), a hammer, and a sequence of glass cases, then every other mannequin fetishist out there would feel licensed, nay encouraged, to act out on their fantasies of liberating the plastic damsels. Not only would store owners no longer feel safe, the state would have to open clinics for mannequin fetishists, driving down property values, and creating sketchy neighborhoods where the back alleys are lined with recently liberated inanimate-Americans.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 01- 5-07 3:05 PM
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22

Hence the wisdom of clean mannequin exchange programs.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 5-07 3:21 PM
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23

For whatever reason, the phrase "clean mannequin exchange program" sends me into hysterical giggles.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 01- 5-07 3:26 PM
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24

Is it possible that no one's made a "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now" joke?


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 01- 6-07 9:34 AM
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25

12 is funnier, even, if you've seen "Anatomy of a Murder."


Posted by: witless chum | Link to this comment | 01- 7-07 8:52 PM
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