Re: Not A Good Day For San Francisco Values

1

His friend was married to a 20-year-old? How old was the friend?


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 10:54 AM
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No no, the other woman is not the 20-year-old he's currently dating.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 10:57 AM
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Gavin's one of those guys you simultaneously think "what a slimeball" and "you lucky bastard."


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:01 AM
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I don't think anyone likes blowjobs as much as you like poking at the vagina dentata, myh friend.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:02 AM
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The chronicle says that the mayor is in "shock". How unexpected a consequence is this? He needs to update the list of people he won't have sex with.


Posted by: joeo | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:03 AM
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I'm not following the blowjob comment. Please to explain the joke.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:04 AM
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Sorry about the typo. It's hard to talk with Gavin's cock in my mouth.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:04 AM
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6: I think it's that both women have rather wide mouths.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:05 AM
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Wouldn't you want a rounder mouth rather than a wide one?


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:06 AM
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Wow, and I had just seen the 20-yr-old-girlfriend issue a few days ago. It amazed me that a fairly high-profile politician could get away with that.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:06 AM
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Cala rules.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:07 AM
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Wouldn't you want a rounder mouth rather than a wide one?

I like the way you think.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:07 AM
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9: Don't ask me.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:07 AM
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I'm just saying.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:08 AM
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9: It's an open secret that Gavin Newsom has a penis shaped like a ping pong paddle.


Posted by: Junior Mint | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:09 AM
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9: Presumably when a woman with a wide mouth opens her jaws, the problem is solved. These two look like they might just decide to swallow your whole body and doze contentedly under a heat lamp for a couple weeks.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:10 AM
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I was having a little fun with a classic passage from our dear old friend Camille Paglia.

One reason I believed the Paula Jones story right from the start was because of the allegation that he demanded oral sex from her. Based on my long study of pornographic pictures and videos, I can easily see why Paula Jones would instantly produce a fantasy of oral sex. People kept saying, very ignorantly, "Oh, she's not very attractive -- what would he have seen in her?" Well, I can see very clearly she has this big wide mouth, and a lot of teeth, and there's a sort of slackness about her jaw -- which is what women porn stars develop when they learn how to relax their jaw muscles to perform great oral sex. I think that Paula Jones was at every stage a walking, talking advertisement for oral sex! So I was stunned when I first saw the pictures of Monica Lewinsky on every TV program -- the big wide smile, the nicely relaxed lips with all those teeth -- and I thought, Oh my God, here we go again!

It happens that she's right about this.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:11 AM
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How does anyone other than a blowup doll have a "round" mouth?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:11 AM
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How is this anything but a great day for S.F. values?


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:12 AM
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Cala, if your genuinely confused, I think it's not that the mouths are wide per se, except insofar as wide is a proxy for large. They both appear to have relatively large mouths.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:12 AM
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Isn't it kind of problematic for a lesbian to claim to know what constitutes a cocksucking face?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:13 AM
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Honestly, I wasn't all that confused, but I had formed a mental image of women with rounder mouths with full lips and then clicked on the link and was in the land of banana smiles.

More seriously, is there anything about women that doesn't make guys think of sex?


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:14 AM
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More seriously, is there anything about women that doesn't make guys think of sex?

This is a rhetorical question, right?


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:16 AM
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Maybe elbows.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:16 AM
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22: yes, and I refer you to a recent thread...


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:16 AM
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God Paglia is an idiot.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:17 AM
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Large intestine. Also: pancreas.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:17 AM
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Maybe elbows.

Elbows are sexy!


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:18 AM
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God Paglia is an idiot.

Wait, what? Generally speaking or for that passage?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:20 AM
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Both, duh.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:20 AM
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31

I wasn't asking you, girl.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:22 AM
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32

Stop oppressing me.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:24 AM
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Generally speaking or for that passage?

Seems like every time I read something from her there's stuff like that passage that makes me think, "This, THIS is what passes for an intellectual in this country?"

The first sentence alone, jesus.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:24 AM
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No, it's what passes for a feminist.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:25 AM
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She's silly in a lot of ways, but she's right about the mouths!


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:27 AM
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I always expect Cameron Diaz's tongue to flick out and catch a fly. That is one wide mouth.

Gavin's frantic heterosexuality proves that he is a closet gay, but why would a SF gay be in the closet? Is his mother sort of old fashioned?


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:27 AM
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I love it. It mushes Clinton-hatred and slut-shaming all in one. Dirty woman. She had a mouth!


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:27 AM
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Paglia is awful.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:28 AM
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Apparently Ogged likes toothy blowjobs and thinks about sex as if he were a misogynist lesbian.

Why do you hate your cock, Ogged?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:33 AM
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40

Is it circumcision trauma? Because you can get help with that.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:35 AM
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Shouldn't you be nurturing me, B?

These aren't the kind of women I go for, but it's a fact that they have porn star blowjob mouths, and that seems to be Gavin's type.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:36 AM
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Doesn't everyone hate Ogged's cock? He's just following the crowd. He's actually very passive, you know.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:37 AM
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Gavin Newsome is a seriously eligible bachelor. Why the hell is he sleeping with aides and 20 year-olds? Idiot! Dummkopf!


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:39 AM
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44

How awesome is the name "Ruby Rippey-Tourk" though? Say that 5 times fast.


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:41 AM
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43: Because he can?


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:42 AM
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Someone better send Scarlett Johanson or Keira Knightley to SF to help Newson improve his image. Once you get that "trashy" rep you never get rid of it.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:44 AM
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41: I think I'm supposed to be castrating you. But only because you want me to.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:44 AM
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48

This a man who probably really really really likes Julia Roberts movies.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:44 AM
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49

Man, the joke is totally on the guys here with big cocks. Some of us can look at even the daintiest of mouths and still think of fellatio.


Posted by: Chris | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:44 AM
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My wife and I once visited a winery on Lake Seneca in upstate NY, where the description for one of the wines was "Named after the winemaker's mother, this is a fruity wine with a soft round mouth."

Ever since it's been a running joke whenever we go wine tasting.


Posted by: zadfrack | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:49 AM
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49: It's true, there are all sorts of down sides to carrying around this massive piece of equipment.


Posted by: Hamilton Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:50 AM
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Aha!

DEMOCRATS really are more open-minded about sex than Republicans. Take Kimberly Newsom, attractive Court TV anchor wife of handsome San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom. When her husband couldn't make it as scheduled to speak at Thursday night's Empire State Pride Agenda dinner at the Sheraton, the year's biggest gay rights fund-raiser, Kimberly filled in for him. She was eloquent and uplifting as she spoke of equality. But she really brought the house down when she talked about her hunky hubby's anatomy. "I know that many of you wanted to see my husband and some of you had questions out there. Is he hot? Yeah. Is he hung? Yeah. Is he [she waved her hand to suggest bisexual]? Not unless you can give a better [she mimicked eating a banana] than me. Thank you very much."

Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:52 AM
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52: From another article on the incident: "But Guilfoyle Newsom says it's all being overblown." (Emphasis mine.)


Posted by: Hamilton Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:55 AM
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Why would you back off a joke like that made at a gay pride event? In that context, it's appropriate and funny.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:56 AM
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54: Because we're a nation of sexual hypocrites?


Posted by: Hamilton Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:58 AM
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56

His girlfriend is named Brittanie Mountz, and he was having an affair with Ruby Rippey-Tourk? I think there is another commonality here besides mouths.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:59 AM
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57

Also, Brittanie doesn't seem to have the blowjob mouth.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 12:01 PM
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58

How exactly does one wave one's hand to "suggest bisexual"?


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 12:02 PM
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59

Aren't you the same guy who'd never heard the "articulate = racist" thing? Wait, you were raised a fundie, right?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 12:05 PM
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60

Indicating the crowd? Or maybe there's a bisexual hand gesture I don't know about.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 12:05 PM
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61

It's the same gesture you use when you say you're feeling "so-so."


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 12:06 PM
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58: I assume you swing it both ways


Posted by: JAC | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 12:06 PM
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58: Like this.


Posted by: Hamilton Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 12:07 PM
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Speaking ex rectum, I'm picturing a palm-down wave that conveys something like "swings both ways."


Posted by: DaveL | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 12:07 PM
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65

that guy really likes blowjobs.

To be fair, Ogged, this statement could be apply to any guy ever and not be falsified.


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 12:08 PM
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58: Like this.

Wait, for real? I was only pretty sure of 61, so I'm ready to be wrong.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 12:08 PM
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63 is wrong. It's 61: hand in air, palm flat, fingers pointing toward audience, swiveling back and forth on the axis of your arm.

Jeez, people. You need to get out more.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 12:10 PM
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66: Per the title, it's ASL for "queer"; I couldn't find ASL for "bisexual"; I doubt it was the gesture actually used by Kimberley B. J. Guilfoyle Oralia Newsom.


Posted by: Hamilton Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 12:11 PM
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66. you ignorant slut


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 12:11 PM
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Ogged, trying to back away from your obvious intimacy with queer culture isn't going to cover up anything.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 12:11 PM
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your obvious intimacy with queer culture

I have this tall co-blogger, see...


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 12:13 PM
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I love Ogged for starting this thread, in a completely and massively hetero fashion of course.

57: I think Ms. Mountz (really? that's a terrible name for a mistress) might need the treatment.


Posted by: Pooh | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 12:57 PM
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Now see, I'd think one might go for a woman with a small mouth, on the theory that one might go for a younger woman with a tight vagina.

If a guy wa going for a sharkmouth woman with a very wide mouth, I'd be thinking he was intended to share the blowjobs with a buddy.

If you know what I mean. This doesn't apply to ogged, of course, since he is totally gay.

m, it might apply to FL tho!


Posted by: max | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 1:43 PM
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Wow, there is a point at which I feel compelled to say, 'ick'.

Ick.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 1:51 PM
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Ack. Gross.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 2:06 PM
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76

Heather Corina has some nice writing on "the myth of the tight coochie," which she thinks has nothing to do with pleasure and everything to do with fetishizing sex with someone who is less than aroused and/or underage.

The Paglia passage above actually does a nice job of explaining why a relaxed, muscular mouth is attractive. Note the same argument applies to coochies.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 2:16 PM
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Um. Fucking ew to 73.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 2:25 PM
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Heather Corina is wrong. But there's other news that's also good: there's more to life than 'tight coochies'.


Posted by: Charlie | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 2:29 PM
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Good, because I would fucking hate to waste time having a complex about something I have absolutely no goddamned way to measure, compare, or alter. And no, I don't even want to think about it.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 2:33 PM
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Eh, I'm going to agree that Corina is probably right, no matter what Charlie says.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 2:35 PM
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80: Kegels. Though not for the "tight coochie" reason; rather, bladder control and your own enjoyment.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 2:36 PM
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I think about my own enjoyment already plenty.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 2:41 PM
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something I have absolutely no goddamned way to measure, compare, or alter

I can give you an objective appraisal, JM.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 2:42 PM
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That's very generous of you. I'll remember that next time I venture near the Mason-Dixon.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 2:44 PM
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85

Is that what apo's calling it nowadays?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 2:46 PM
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I actually do think this is a worthy topic for feminist discussion, even if it does squick people out, because the myth is so prevalent among us men.

The interesting thing about the kegel exercises is that it really goes against the image of the tight coochie as a naturally small place a man jams himself into. In fact, men are being squeezed by a muscle. It puts more agency on the part of the woman in sex.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 2:46 PM
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Oddly, the 'it's like throwing a hotdog down a hallway!' is a position that seems to be held mostly by 14-year-old boys, who, when they are saying it, in all likelihood, aren't having sex anyway.

Completely with JM. Here's a list of things I worry about. Look what's not on that list!


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 2:47 PM
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I've been reading too much early modern writings and I've apparently caught a nasty case of the commas.,,,,


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 2:48 PM
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everything to do with fetishizing sex with someone who is less than aroused and/or underage

While I'm sure there's a subset of men for whom this is true, it's nonsense to say that is anywhere near common.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 2:48 PM
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held mostly by 14-year-old boys

Right. Those of us who have had sex know that the proper analogy is fucking a mayonnaise jar.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 2:54 PM
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Agh!


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 2:58 PM
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The interesting thing about the kegel exercises is that it really goes against the image of the tight coochie as a naturally small place a man jams himself into.

Right, which makes little sense in light of, oh, childbirth? While the fetishizing is of women who haven't given birth, clearly tissue that can stretch without significant injury to pass a baby isn't going to be exerting significant pressure on a cock other through muscular tension.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 2:58 PM
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than


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 2:59 PM
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90: The really stupid thing is that it was always said of a fat girl, because there was some direct correlation in these guys' minds between whether a girl was heavy and whether her coochie (ugh) was too wide for them.

Neurotic virgins.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 3:03 PM
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95

Having given birth is no predictor of what we're discussing.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 3:04 PM
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96

some direct correlation

The correlation actually runs in the opposite direction.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 3:08 PM
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Straight people are so weird.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 3:09 PM
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To be fair, 'tight' is a coarse descriptor. There are several variables.


Posted by: Charlie | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 3:11 PM
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Neurotic virgins.

Hey!


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 3:14 PM
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There are several variables.

Number and sharpness of teeth, for example.


Posted by: Felix | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 3:15 PM
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That particular kind of neurotic virgin


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 3:18 PM
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95: The point is that no one feels tight because their vagina is literally small enough that a penis has difficulty fitting in it -- barring deformity, pretty much any vagina is capable of passing something much, much bigger than a penis. The sensation of 'tightness' is produced by muscular tension, which is influenced both by the strength of the muscles generally, and by arousal at the relevant time. The literal size of the vagina isn't going to have much to do with it.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 3:21 PM
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94: This is really kind of interesting -- I'd never heard that stereotype before, but if it's common it puts together a couple of ways women are expected to be 'small' if they want to be sexy. Skinny, and short, and weak, are all sexy and being 'tight' is seen as going with all the other signifiers of being sexy through being little.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 3:25 PM
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96: "Floppy woo"? How ungentlemanly.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 3:28 PM
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I have no idea if it's a common stereotype or just limited to a group of assholes at my high school. I think there were also some slut connotations, too.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 3:31 PM
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96: I just love that you linked to the Anchorage Press...

The standard AK aphorism seems apropo here: The odds are good, but the goods are odd.


Posted by: Pooh | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 3:33 PM
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103: This strikes me as wrong, in that you underestimate the men: there is no end to the number of "types" that men find sexually arousing, and that get discussed by men (often in ugly ways).


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 3:34 PM
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105: I've heard the fat stereotype, but the slut stereotype is far, far more common. Nearly universal, even.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 3:34 PM
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Macauley Culkin was a gentleman of sorts, though he did let you guess that at some point in his short career as a stud he's dealt with some unnamed woman who was disappointingly large.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 3:40 PM
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The "slut" one was current in my adolescence. The naive idea is that something is stretched with use, like an inanimate object would be. But this idea is present in classic porn like Fanny Hill, it's just not abusive there, where there's more knowledge and experience in a paragraph than those boys have.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 3:41 PM
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102: I don't this is actually true, LB. Even fully relaxed, hoo-hoos are different. Like rubber bands, they'll all expand to fit something much larger than their relaxed state, sure. But their relaxed states are still different sizes.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 3:41 PM
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I didn't say they were all identical, and you've been up close and personal with more than I have. I'm saying that the differences are better described as differences in musculature than differences in size, within the interesting range. They're all a lot bigger (in terms of what can fit inside them) than your cock is.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 3:46 PM
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I mean, seriously, what are we talking about measuring? Talking about the size of someone's vagina is like talking about how far apart their hands are -- while there are physical limits on how far apart they can get, there's not one meaningful measurement. A normal vagina is anywhere from completely closed -- the walls touching each other, how most women are most of the time when not aroused -- to stretched big enough to pass a baby, on the same woman.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 3:50 PM
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I think it's probably fair to say LB's right: "looseness" is likely looser musculature, not "size". (Or rather, that "size" is defined by the tightness of the musculature.)

But this is not my area of expertise.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 3:50 PM
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115

Mmm. Every so often I get into these conversations, and wonder what's happened to my life that I argue about gynecology on the internet.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 3:51 PM
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116

This report is helpful.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 3:54 PM
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115: I have similar thoughts, but I view this as a positive development.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 3:58 PM
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115: You argue about what the people who are willing to argue with you want to argue about? At least there's not a multi-hundred-million-dollar industry revolving around selling "herbal coochie tightening." Or is there, and spammers are just smart enough not to send me that particular spam?


Posted by: Jake | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 4:00 PM
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118: People do sometimes propose surgery, and after an episiotomy it is common for doctors to sew the vagina up tighter "as a favor to the father." One reason this is a fit subject for feminist discussion is that it really does affect people's lives.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 4:03 PM
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116: The opening line of that abstract "Vaginal anatomy has been poorly studied" is something I've heard before. Elizabeth Lloyd, for instance, in her book on research on the evolution of the human female orgasm, laments the lack of comparative anatomic studies of vaginae among primates.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 4:05 PM
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At least there's not a multi-hundred-million-dollar industry revolving around selling "herbal coochie tightening."

Yeah, but there's tittie pills being hawked as well, not to mention the traditional ways to balloon the chest region.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 4:06 PM
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118: You are apparently unfamiliar with AbsorbShun. That is, if you consider corn starch "herbal."


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 4:22 PM
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123

OK, not to interrupt the coochie talk, but here's the deal wiht Gavin and his girlfriend/s:

He was married to Kimberly Guilfoyle (I have hereby violated the AP style reference by not referring to her as "former underwear model"). They split up, she married somebody else and is now on Fox news. It was at this point where he apparently was sleeping with Ruby Rippey-Tourk. He then dated Sofia Milos (or something), who was on CSI: Peoria, or Law and Order: Special Botox Unit, which was fine, but was also a Scientologist, which really squicked people out. They split up, I have no idea what happened to her. He then briefly dated 20-year-old Brittanie Mountz, who was photographed at some event holding a wineglass, implying that she was drinking in the presence of the Mayor (a/k/a "he was lettting her drink"). Oh, and she was a registered Republican. They stopped "hanging out", as the kids say, and she was later photographed dancing on a bar at some other party. Also holding a drink. But nothing so nasty as the Bush twins have been photographed doing. He is now (or was till the latest news came out) dating Jennifer Siebel, who seems to be leaving all the scandal to Newsom.

Rumors of this have been floating all over city hall for months. Rumor also has it that there's more to this than has so far been publicly revealed.


Posted by: sasha | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 4:24 PM
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Damn. That'd hurt.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 4:25 PM
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The funny thing is the faction of SF that tradtionally espouses "SF values" couldn't stand Newsom when he ran for election the first time.


Posted by: Ile | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 4:25 PM
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113: I'd like to amend this. There probably are differences in women's hoo-hoo radii, and how much they stretch when aroused, and I'd be willing to bet, as I pull this out of my ass hoo-hoo thin air, that it varies and matters about as much as penis size: there are often significant differences, but most of them don't have nearly as much of an effect as people surmise, and quite a lot of the effect will have to do with general square-peg-round-hole problems couples have to deal with..


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 4:28 PM
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Be sure to read the original.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 4:28 PM
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"Sofia Milos"? "Jennifer Siebel"? These aren't interesting names! I want him to date a Krystall Joist or a Suzy Suzy-Gully.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 4:30 PM
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Now I'm picturing Rob looking through an SF phone book and circling all the good names to send to Newsom.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 4:33 PM
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122: Whoa. Indeed I am unaware, or rather, indeed I was. Which, after reading that, is the way that I liked it.

125: Couldn't stand him after he got elected, either. And in fact, they still don't like him much. Which is why the gay marraige thing was the most politically brilliant act I've seen in a very long time.


Posted by: Jake | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 4:33 PM
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This is a horrible thread to have been reminded of it on, but does everyone with little kids know how much fun cornstarch, mixed with water to a doughy (kinda) texture is? It behaves really oddly -- solidifying when hit or squeezed, and then becoming liquid again once the pressure's off. It's really great to play with.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 4:36 PM
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Dude, he's dating B-list television actresses, not porn stars.


Posted by: sasha | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 4:36 PM
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You have a generous definition of "B-list," sasha.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 4:39 PM
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Well, if it's not Veronica Mars or Battlestar Galactica, it's all B-list to me.

and 130: absolutely.


Posted by: sasha | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 4:42 PM
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[threadjack!]

I'm ill. I need soup. I have no soup, and no way to get soup delivered or picked up, because no one delivers soup and my roommate is ill, too.

I'm out of chicken broth. Anyone know a good recipe for soup with water and an onion? I'm just looking for something I can eat and put cayenne pepper in because cayenne pepper in chicken soup makes the colds go away.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 4:45 PM
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First, you need some lovable Cossacks and a couple of likely looking stones...


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 4:47 PM
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My solution would be to order Chinese for the soup.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 4:47 PM
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They won't deliver. Meanies. I have a hematite stone.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 4:49 PM
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Do you have butter? Eggs? Pasta? Neighbors?


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 4:49 PM
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Are there diners that you don't think of as delivery sources nearby? Lots of lousy diners deliver.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 4:51 PM
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We have butter. I could cook the onion in butter and make lazy ass onion soup. I have food in the house, but I am not trusting to keep anything down that isn't mostly water.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 4:52 PM
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I don't know anything about meat, so I might not be too helpful. But any other vegetables? Herbs? Frozen vegetables? Canned tomato paste? Canned beans? Rice? When you're really desperate for a spicy soup, you can pretty much dump anything that wouldn't be a terrible idea into water and let it simmer. . .I find ginger is a little more gentle on the stomach than Cayenne.


Posted by: Ile | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 4:55 PM
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Call it "Soupe à l'oignoin du Peuple de Paris," add lots of cayenne, and call it a night. That's if you don't have or know your neighbors to ask them for a bouillion cube or two.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 4:56 PM
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Oignion, I think. Writing on the internet has completely destroyed my ability to spell in any language.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 5:00 PM
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Czech garlic soup -- if you have garlic -- is basically just loads of garlic, in hot water. Miracle cold cure, allegedly.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 5:02 PM
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I have an onion and garlic simmering in a pot and then I will put water in and probably throw in some rosemary and thyme and cayenne.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 5:16 PM
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No lard? I've been told that in Czech cuisine lard is in everything.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 5:24 PM
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Not quite an affair by reason of "mistaken identity."


Posted by: swampcracker | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 5:30 PM
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Vegetarian French Onion Soup
Chop up two medium onions. Add two tablespoons vegetable oil to a saute pan or skillet. Put on high heat and brown the onions. Once onions are browned, add salt and pepper to the onions to taste (can also add cayenne pepper, to add a little kick). Add 3-4 quarts of water. Bring to a boil for 5 minutes. Add salt to taste.

You can either add some pasta, maybe a vermicelli, and boil for 5 minutes more, or serve with bread and swiss cheese.


Posted by: Trickster Paean | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 5:43 PM
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131 -- Ooblick


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 5:56 PM
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If you're feeling queasy, for god's sake don't add cayenne.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 6:13 PM
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Gavin Newsom to Earl Butz to onion soup. Man, this place is focused.


Posted by: DaveL | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 6:38 PM
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I feel very guilty that Sick Cala making a more elaborate dinner than Healthy Becks.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 6:41 PM
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"Add two tablespoons vegetable oil to a saute pan or skillet."

For Czech French Onion Soup, substitute lard for vegetable oil.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 6:43 PM
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ok, wait wait wait. This:

a sort of slackness about her jaw -- which is what women porn stars develop when they learn how to relax their jaw muscles to perform great oral sex

cannot be right. Pornstars walk around in a state of constant slackjawness? You have to "relax your jaw muscles" to give great oral sex? No you don't. You have to suppress the gag reflex, is what you have to do, which doesn't have anything to do with jaw muscles. I don't know about chixxx, but gay pornstars do not have "a sort of slackness about the jaw." This sounds like a bunch of hooey to me.

And: some of y'all are gross.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 6:44 PM
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No, the Czech version substitutes lard for the onion.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 6:44 PM
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Also for the water, salt, and pepper.


Posted by: DaveL | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 6:46 PM
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Ruby Rippey-Tourk

That's awesome.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 6:48 PM
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Ruby Rippey-Tourk

A young woman, or something for the soup?


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 6:50 PM
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So before she married the unfortunate Tourk, her parents named her "Ruby Rippey"? Somehow that's even worse.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 6:51 PM
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Basically he was dating a tongue-twister. Ogged was right.


Posted by: DaveL | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 6:54 PM
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155: But see, when it's a *woman* having sex, she's basically a passive receptacle...


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 7:00 PM
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You've come a long way, baby.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 7:04 PM
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I notice it took an NPR thread to slow down the one about girls with blowjob-face. I feel newly at home here.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 7:25 PM
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If you're feeling queasy, for god's sake don't add cayenne.

Cayenne settles my stomach for some reason. Anyhow, I boiled the hell out of my onion and garlic and added rosemary and basil and cayenne pepper and salt and now the whole house smells and I feel a little better.

I hate getting sick. I tend to get just one symptom of the cold overblown, but never enough to feel like I'm justified in slacking.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 7:39 PM
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When you feel better, go out and buy a thing of bouillion cubes. Since fancy broth is so much better, and bouillion cubes last forever, you'll be almost guaranteed to have some around next time someone in your house gets sick. They're a pretty good food of last resort.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 7:45 PM
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"I'm talking about millions in Kuwaiti bullion."

"You mean them little cubes you put in hot water to make soup?"

"No, not the little cubes you put in hot water to make soup."


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 7:47 PM
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That's such a good movie.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 7:55 PM
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167, 168:

Word. It A) would never get made today. B) Plays even better now then it did when it was released.


Posted by: Pooh | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 8:42 PM
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Alternately, you could wave a chicken in the direction of some water, and then dump a cup of salt in.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 8:44 PM
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Plays even better now then it did when it was released.

I saw it a while ago, but I bet it would be really interesting to watch it again.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 8:46 PM
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170: Okay, that's funny. Also, once you have rosemary & thyme & salt it sort of tastes like chicken anyway, since chicken is a tasteless food these days, though I will be taking JM's advice.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 8:59 PM
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Sorry to be late to this fascinating thread, but I couldn't let the following exchange go without comment (edited from 22-24, above):

More seriously, is there anything about women that doesn't make guys think of sex?

Maybe elbows.

Heed the words of Katisha (in The Mikado):

"But I have a left shoulder-blade that is a miracle of loveliness. People come miles to see it. My right elbow has a fascination that few can resist."


Posted by: dr ngo | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:23 PM
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Everything I know about Gilbert & Sullivan I know from either The Simpsons, West Wing, or some other non-G&S thing which references their work.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:36 PM
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get your facts straight. he's dating jen siebel, the blonde stanford mba, producer, actress, conservationist he's been in pictures with since early oct. he never dated the 20 yr old...the press created that. the scandal of a yr and a half ago involved this ruby chick- a bisexual who had major drug addictions and stalked gavin. it only happened once or twice and she had already been having an affair with another guy in rehab. gavin made a mistake but his ex-wife was taking him to the cleaners and he was in a bad state and was friends with this woman and they were comforting each other through rough times. don't believe the press. esp. sf press when it comes to gavin's personal life. he's the only real celebrity in town and they are just trying to bring him down.


Posted by: sam | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:42 PM
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Yeah, they're just trying to bring him dooowwwn, maaaaan. Don't be a hater.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:44 PM
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Had Cala not needed soup recipes, would the women of Unfogged have talked themselves into experiments with rubber bands and paperclips? I'm thinking not.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:46 PM
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Are you saying that the Ogged Test of w-lfs-n's Theorem of Penile Elasticity is somehow frivolous?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:51 PM
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he's the only real celebrity in town and they are just trying to bring him down.

Remember that awesome photo spread with Gavin and KGN, sprawled out on the a rug in their palatial San Francisco home? And the accompanying article (in was it Bazaar?) that kept referring to them as the "new Kennedys"? It turns out that he's a little more Lindsay Lohan than JFK, but yes, a celebrity, in most senses of the word.


Posted by: Junior Mint | Link to this comment | 02- 1-07 11:57 PM
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Are you saying that the Ogged Test of w-lfs-n's Theorem of Penile Elasticity is somehow frivolous?

She's just saying that women aren't good at science.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 02- 2-07 12:00 AM
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Is 174 in reference to anything?

I had the same experience with Citizen Kane for a long time--all I knew of it were the Simpsons homages.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 02- 2-07 12:02 AM
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178.--Far be it from me to suggest such a thing! Frivolous? No, no.

Something I want to subject my genitals to, even in my imagination? No, no.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 02- 2-07 12:05 AM
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175: Hmmm...


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 02- 2-07 12:07 AM
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Not even ogged has an actual rubber band for his genitals.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 02- 2-07 12:07 AM
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Or, at any rate, so Michael tells me.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 02- 2-07 12:08 AM
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A gem from AP

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070201/ap_on_re_us/another_hooters

Hooters executives want just one restaurant in Troy, but the company won't close the old one until it's allowed to serve alcohol at the new restaurant, which opened Monday on a larger, more visible site.
Critics are concerned that the restaurants' scantily clad servers don't fit the image the city seeks to project in its Big Beaver commercial district.

Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 02- 2-07 12:51 AM
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181
Is 174 in reference to anything?

173, actually, where I quote Katisha in The Mikado by Gilbert & Sullivan.

I knew G&S well long before The West Wing or even The Simpsons came along. In fact, I'd bet I'm the only one here who has actually seen every one of the G&S operas. (I wouldn't make that bet on Crooked Timber, though . . .)


Posted by: dr ngo | Link to this comment | 02- 2-07 12:54 AM
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138: I have a hematite stone.

That sounds extremely painful. At least if it were magnetite you would be able to tell which way was north.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 02- 2-07 5:13 AM
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187: What, even The Grand Duke? I take my hat off to you, old fellow! (Is it as bad as they say?)


Posted by: OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 02- 2-07 5:49 AM
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162: My experience contradicts this. Maybe that's just you, B.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 02- 2-07 6:23 AM
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Wonderful, gswift! I also love how the city wants to have a "world-class corridor."


Posted by: Anderson | Link to this comment | 02- 2-07 8:43 AM
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190: Trying to get away doesn't count, Apo.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 02- 2-07 9:32 AM
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Nicely done!


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 02- 2-07 9:33 AM
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Wonderful, gswift! I also love how the city wants to have a "world-class corridor."

"The Troy Business District: World-Class Hot Dogs in a World-Class Corridor"


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 02- 2-07 9:42 AM
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Sorry, that should be "Troy's Big Beaver Business District"


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 02- 2-07 9:43 AM
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Embracing my masculinist prejudices has really freed me up.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 02- 2-07 9:43 AM
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196 to 193, obvs.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 02- 2-07 9:44 AM
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175 is probably just a drive-by, but still: using biphobia to defend a San Francisco mayor? You are a credit to your profession, sir.


Posted by: Magpie | Link to this comment | 02- 2-07 1:34 PM
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189: Yes, even The Grand Duke, which is pretty inferior to the best of G&S indeed. Slightly better is Utopia, Ltd., which I was actually in (!) some 40 years ago; it doesn't hold together well, but has a couple of nice tunes and funny lyrics, including the only opera/musical comedy song I know celebrating the legislation that made possible the modern corporation. (The joint-stock company act of 1862, if memory serves.)


Posted by: dr ngo | Link to this comment | 02- 3-07 12:02 AM
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So now the Chron is saying that Newsom sleeping with his friend's wife is a violation of the Man Code, and that if you get a group of men together, they can hash out a Man Code pretty quickly. I'd be curious to see what the Men of Unfogged consider the Man Code to be. Obviously "yay blowjobs" would be in there, along with some kind of cock joke imperative, but what else?


Posted by: Magpie | Link to this comment | 02- 3-07 11:18 AM
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