Re: Observed

1

Blogging from a bathroom stall. The internet has hit a new level.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 1:17 PM
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Is Althouse in there with you?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 1:21 PM
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3

So, you totally took a pic of this with your camera phone while in the stall, right?


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 1:22 PM
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What makes you say that, Cala?


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 1:23 PM
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5

You have a favorite bathroom stall?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 1:24 PM
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Why don't you just admit that you drew the picture there yourself, driven by a philosopher's urge to disambiguate?


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 1:25 PM
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Don't you, B?

Helpy, you know my load-sketches are more fauvist.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 1:27 PM
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You have a favorite bathroom stall?

You don't?


Posted by: My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 1:27 PM
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Damn! I should have wrote "lonely outhouse in..." since Althouse always says "outpost." Chance wasted.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 1:30 PM
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It seems like a weird thing to have a decided preference for. Although in the women's bathroom in the department I'm on leave from, which is a converted kitchenette, everyone prefers the second of two stalls, because it's *slightly* wider and you don't actually have to straddle the toilet to get the door open.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 1:30 PM
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Goodbye, "swallow my load"
On the blog of academy's stalls
We won't forget at the frathaus
You tickled Fontana's balls


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 1:31 PM
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That's probably the most identifying thing I've ever admitted on the internet. Any woman on my floor would recognize which department I'm in immediately.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 1:32 PM
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I prefer mine because it's reasonably clean *and* I'm unlikely to run into colleagues. I bear my load alone.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 1:32 PM
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14

I prefer the handicapped stalls, because you can really stretch out and get comfortable.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 1:32 PM
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unlikely to run into colleagues s/b "masturbate in peace."


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 1:34 PM
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I've unilaterally decided that the handicapped stalls are for handicapped people, women with children, or me.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 1:35 PM
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Even if we don't have a singular favorite stall, we all have methods for distinguishing our preferred stall in any given bathroom. Given that one uses a particular bathroom more often than others, I can see how that preference would become automatic, but for it to become "favorite" seems slightly pathological.

Now, a favorite _bathroom_ seems less odd. There is a bathroom on the second floor of the math department building where I am that has a window that overlooks the main quad. The window is opaque, natch, but it is always left open a few inches to allow the free interchange of gasses between inside and outside. That allows for the most excellent experience of simultaneously expelling concentrated sin and people watching from above.


Posted by: Yeho | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 1:35 PM
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B, that's disgusting and a violation of the bonds of communitarian trust necessary for our society to flourish.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 1:35 PM
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19

Which is?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 1:35 PM
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20

I should specify that I meant "bathroom" in my second paragraph to refer to one-person bathrooms, rather than subdivided multi-person bathrooms.


Posted by: Yeho | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 1:36 PM
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21

Windows in bathrooms are good things.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 1:37 PM
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22

Conversely, I hate handicapped stalls because the toilet's too tall. It's no good feeling to know beforehand that, when I sit down, my feet won't touch the ground.


Posted by: hermit greg | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 1:40 PM
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23

A university I attended as an undergrad suffered from donors' edifice complexes. The bathroom stalls in the library had brass plaques honouring whichever deranged distinguished person had donated [read: "Gave money for brass plaque"] the individual stall.

It was handy, because one could whisper to a sister classmate 'I've got a joint - meet me at Goldfarb' when studying became too boring.


Posted by: DominEditrix | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 1:49 PM
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24

23 is awesome. When I die and leave my money to something, I'm going to require a brass plaque with my name on it in a bathroom stall.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 1:51 PM
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25

Holy shit, this is your greatest post ever.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 1:52 PM
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26

Ogged, that comment isn't funny.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 1:55 PM
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27

I think so, of course, but it's underappreciated.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 1:55 PM
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24: You should have them put it at the very bottom of the door, with a tiny inscription at the bottom of the plate, so they have to bend way forward to read it: "You are now crapping at a 45 degree angle."


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 2:01 PM
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29

Or on the inside of the door, "In loving memory of [name], who died of hepatitis A acquired in this stall."


Posted by: Yeho | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 2:05 PM
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30

Its good to see that we have moved on from our regular sex talk to have some poop talk.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 2:07 PM
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31

28 is my favorite.


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 2:16 PM
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32

Here I sit
All six foot nine
Came for cum
'stead he got mine


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 2:19 PM
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33

Mere Cocteau rip-off.

Mannered even drawing dicks. Pfeh i say.


Posted by: yabonn | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 2:20 PM
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34

Mere Cocteau rip-off.

Mannered even drawing dicks. Pfeh i say.


Posted by: yabonn | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 2:20 PM
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35

BTW, what kind of sick institution sends its faculty to Wisconsin in the winter? Doesn't, say, the University of Hawaii at Manoa need some help with its philosophizing about now?


Posted by: Magpie | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 2:25 PM
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36

"Thursday Stall Blogging" should be a regular event around here.


Posted by: Paul | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 2:35 PM
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37

35: Among other things.

And not to be all prissy or anything, but I'd be less jumpy about footsteps in the hallway outside my door if that drawing could possibly move below the fold.


Posted by: DaveL | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 2:39 PM
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38

In other amusing drawing blogging, I insist that you all go over to my place and leave admiring comments.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 2:41 PM
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39

B, I'm sorry my gay joke wasn't better. Apologies to PK as well.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 2:46 PM
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40

That's okay, he was fretting this morning over whether or not the other kids would make fun of him for wearing purple pants today. Which, in fact, DID come from the girl's side of Gap Kids, because Mama is annoyed that boys are only allowed to wear navy blue or various shades of khaki. (And for the record, I offered him the option of navy today, but he thought it was too boring.)

I'm surprised at you, though, Labs. Even with the pink background?!?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 2:48 PM
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41

The background was too obvious to pick on.

So now you're making your kid transgendered? I'm calling Child Services.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 2:50 PM
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No, I'm just making sure he can coordinate his outfits.

Although I'm not sure purple cargo pants really *go* with an orange shirt with 3-d halloween bats on it, to be honest.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 2:52 PM
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43

Now I'm hungry for curried mussels.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 2:53 PM
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44

I'll admit to finding it weird that there are "girls" and "boys" designations on pre-pubescent clothing.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 2:54 PM
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45

It's appalling. You try to hit the girls' side just for the color, but it's virtually all got flowers or lace or ruffles or some shit like that on it. I pulled the lace belt out of these pants and left it on the rack; luckily everything else is plain (except for the tag on the inside, which has flowers on it. Whatever).


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 2:55 PM
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46

Pre-pubescent, bah. It starts with the infant onesies.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 2:56 PM
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47

Yeah, but up through toddlerhood there are at least some gender-neutral outfits, presumably for grandparents who want to buy for unborn babies. Once they hit about size 4, though, it's all khaki&trucks&Spiderman vs. brights&flowers&lace.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 2:57 PM
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48

because Mama is annoyed that

...she doesn't have a daughter.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 2:58 PM
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49

Yeah, I mean, they're kids. It's not the end of the world if boys wear some color.

Cue Ogged's ridicule in 3 2 1...


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 2:59 PM
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50

Actually, no. I was disappointed when I found out, in utero, but I got over it. And now I love that he's a boy, because he's so totally in love with me and it's awesome.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 2:59 PM
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51

Yeah, Ogged must be out swimming or something.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:00 PM
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52

And now I love that he's a boy, because

...I can dress him in girl clothes and subvert the patriarchy.

(I'm 0.05% serious about this comment.)


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:01 PM
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53

because he's so totally in love with me and it's awesome.

I'm just going to pause for a moment of stunned silence.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:01 PM
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54

Cue Ogged's ridicule in 3 2 1...

I was dressed in quite a bit of red when I was a child, but at some point around the age of four or so, it appears that I wised up.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:01 PM
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The last week's conversations have made me aware of how North-America-specific the drawing is.

I wonder if drawings of this type are common in Europe?


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:03 PM
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56

They're sort of gender neutral, although the result is that you think of yellow and green as 'undecided' baby colors. Trucks are for boys, sparkles are for girls, and puddleducks are for parents who haven't told the sex of their baby.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:03 PM
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57

52: Sorta. I wore boy stuff when I was a girl, and if I had a girl she certainly wouldn't be wearing all the ruffly crap, or skirts which are impossible to play in. But yeah, I see no reason why children shouldn't be able to be rough and tumble *and* enjoy fancy or colorful things.

53: Why?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:04 PM
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58

Ditto 53.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:04 PM
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59

Sending your kid out in purple cargo pants is borderline child abuse. This is why my girls get lots of jeans. Goes with everything.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:04 PM
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60

I say this with love, B, but there's a boy way of being in love with you-qua-parent that's different and better than the girl way? Huh, you essentialist heterosexist, you.

Oedipus: Hey, Josephus!
Josephus: What up, mothafucka?


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:06 PM
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61

Jeans are great, but what's wrong with color?

Also, why are you dressing your girls like boys, gswift?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:06 PM
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62

Female commenters have often voiced the complaint about how they have to make so many choices about what to wear and their clothes have to match and they envy men because men don't have to worry about clothes and men just have to wear the same thing every day and it's so much simpler for men.

Isn't it the same for boys vs. girls? Shouldn't the problem be that girls have all these color options and therefore have to look nice and stylish all the time, rather than that boys are thwarted in their attempts to look nice and stylish?


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:06 PM
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63

57: I think the comment is meant to convey: "Other than your second husband blinding himself, Mrs Rex, how was the play?"


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:06 PM
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62: Both are problems, aren't they? Having fun with your clothes can be fun if it's not required, and there's no good reason that it should be prohibited for men and boys.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:07 PM
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60: You know, there honestly is. I wouldn't have believed it either, but the Oedipal complex is real. I'm sure it's got something to do with how I, a straight woman, respond to a little boy's affection somewhat differently than I would a little girl's, but there it is.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:07 PM
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62: Making girls "have" to match colors is obnoxious. It's kinda neat when kids wear crazy-ass outfits; and why not, they're kids?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:10 PM
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67

...in which we observe the transformation of B into Leon Kass.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:11 PM
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68

the Oedipal complex is real

I'll say.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:12 PM
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69

they envy men because men don't have to worry about clothes and men just have to wear the same thing every day and it's so much simpler for men.

This is nice, though it does have its downside--things can get a bit boring.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:12 PM
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70

PK's best seller, Why I am So Fucked UP, gonna have a sequel, Giving up the Pink Shirt: Why I am A Republican.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:12 PM
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I think every single mother I know with a young daughter says that daughter-mother relationships are strained and difficult. "Mama's boy," "Daddy's little girl." Heed the tradition, people.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:12 PM
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Puhleeze. You can't tell me that as adolescents and men, you all don't find there are certain semi-flirty ways of teasing your mothers that just don't work with your dads, or that as teenagers and girls, we women don't find it vice-versa. Not always (I didn't get along with my dad at all when I was younger), but often.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:13 PM
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73

How many single mothers do you know?


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:13 PM
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74

I'll say.

I thought that was going to be Noah lightsabering your balls off.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:13 PM
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75

How many single mothers do you know?

Osner, don't post as Bridgeplate.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:14 PM
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76

For once in my life, I agree with Ogged.

Now I have to go pick up Mama's Little Boy from school.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:14 PM
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77

(And by "know" I mean biblically.)


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:15 PM
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78

76: Just because it's true doesn't mean you have to say it.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:17 PM
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77: I would have to express the single mothers I've "known" as a percentage of the whole. Oh, say, forty percent.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:18 PM
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80

30: We had one chance. One chance. And we blew it.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:19 PM
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81

Also, why are you dressing your girls like boys, gswift?

I raise them as I would boys, because girls who are raised that way are about 10 times as fun. We've all known those women who can't leave the house without looking perfect. They're a huge pain in the ass.

Also, girls should be raised that way so they know how to do shit, rather than sitting around wondering if they look good.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:20 PM
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82

Also, because lesbians are the lowest risk of all for HIV. It's God's will.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:26 PM
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83

This does make me think we need a dedicated pooping thread.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:27 PM
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84

gswift's daughters will femme out on him once they hit high school. Years of running around in jeans will keep them trim and shapely, and then they'll realize what power they have if they wear makeup.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:28 PM
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85

My son (who's pretty near in age to PK, I seem to remember noticing last October) is definitely in love with me way more than his big sisters (8 and 10) are, and more than I ever remember them being. The 4 yo girl is still fairly devoted to me in a kissy stroky "I love your breasts and your squidgy tummy" kind of way though. But my son's the only one who's ever noticed that I'm wearing a new bra. And then complimented me on it. It'll only be become a fetish if I try to hide it from him, right???


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:29 PM
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You can't tell me that as adolescents and men, you all don't find there are certain semi-flirty ways of teasing your mothers that just don't work with your dads

We are WASPs. This sort of thing Just Isn't Done.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:33 PM
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OT, but further to the Get Crackin', Moron post of earlier this month, I just got a copy of this book by Carol Dweck. It is very interesting and readable. One thing that the new york article didn't mention is that apparently girls are more vulnerable to this problem than boys.

Pages 53-55 in this excerpt describe the issue. Dweck suggests that this may be a reason why some bright girls have problems with math starting in jr. high school.


Posted by: joeo | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:36 PM
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You can't tell me that as adolescents and men, you all don't find there are certain semi-flirty ways of teasing your mothers that just don't work with your dads, or that as teenagers and girls, we women don't find it vice-versa.

Wahh? This is yet another episode in the continuing series, "B's young life was so different from mine." I don't recall ever flirting with either of my parents, and I kid them, or behaved childishly (which may be what you mean by flirting), in more or less the same way. If I treated my mother differently, I think it was because she was around a lot more.

I don't buy the "Daddy's little girl" or "Momma's boy" claims at all. I think it's often true that you are, growing up, closer to the primary caregiver.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:37 PM
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We are WASPs. This sort of thing Just Isn't Done.

I guess you never saw The Graduate?


Posted by: Clownaesthesiologist | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:38 PM
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90

I agree with 86 and 88.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:38 PM
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91

I don't buy the "Daddy's little girl" or "Momma's boy" claims at all.

You's crazy.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:40 PM
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91: I really, really don't need to know what happened between you and your mom in the quiet hours before dawn.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:42 PM
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93

Ogged, are you finally admitting you have a problem?


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:42 PM
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94

We never did the flirty Daddy's little girl thing. This isn't to say we didn't manipulate our parents, just that we did it in ways that didn't including flirting.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:45 PM
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I've always talked a lot more to my mom than my dad, asked her more for advice, and have a more joking relationship with her than with my dad, who is more likely to be annoyed when I say or do something foolish or silly. But I virtually never said anything to either of them in the sort of informal way I'd talk to my peers - at least until I was out of college for a couple years.

And this is true not just for me, but for my sister too.

When I hear "You can't tell me that as adolescents and men, you all don't find there are certain semi-flirty ways of teasing your mothers that just don't work with your dads, or that as teenagers and girls, we women don't find it vice-versa," I can't remember many examples of this in my family or any other family that I know, except the people who ran the Chinese restaurant where I worked, in which the daughter would act like a normal American arrogant sorority girl in all aspects of her existence but reverted to a strange high-pitched singsong voice when talking to her father and uncle.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:47 PM
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I worked in a daycare, you little bitches--anyone who tries to tell me that girls don't flirt with their daddies and boys don't play cute for their moms is wrong wrong wrong.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:48 PM
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97

And wrong!


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:49 PM
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84: I raised one of those. Flirting or kicking ass are just options she chooses according to her analysis of the situation. It's awesome to watch in action IMX.


Posted by: Biohazard | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:49 PM
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Ogged is talking about little boys, while BPhD is talking about "adolescents and men".


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:50 PM
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(in the context of flirting with their moms, that is. I'll admit that it happens more often than not with little boys)


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:51 PM
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101

My sisters and I were all a bit scared of my dad until we hit our teens, but yeah, now we all tease and flirt with him.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:51 PM
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102

I worked in a daycare,

I heard about that.

But did the boys not play cute for their dads? (Certainly I've seen young boys do this.) Or the girls "flirt" with their moms? (I don't know what qualifies as "flirting," so I don't know if I've seen examples.)


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:52 PM
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gswift's daughters will femme out on him once they hit high school.

My younger one already seems a bit too eager to look at dresses. I already ban ownership of all things Barbie and Bratz. Damn mass media.

But another blow has been struck in my war by the opening of a proper climbing gym near us with a good kids wall. "See kiddies, all the best things in life cannot be done in a dress."


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:54 PM
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104

Caroline has a tube of toothpaste with the Disney princesses on it, and she talks to them every morning. "Hi Princesses! You should turn around so that you can look at me." Sometimes she just gazes at them admiringly. It is very creepy.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:56 PM
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105

When my sister was about 5 she said her favorite color was "rainbow sparkle diamond".

Of course that was the same age that I expressed my goal of growing up to be a garage, so you know, we all grow out of things.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 3:58 PM
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Of course that was the same age that I expressed my goal of growing up to be a garage,

And today you house several hot rods.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 4:07 PM
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107

Yes but he doesn't house them internally.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 4:15 PM
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108

Fortunately no one in this house likes Disney Princesses. The only one who cares about pictures on toothpaste or occasional pull-ups or the like is the 4 yo and she is currently choosing Cars over everything else.

It was World Book Day today (do you have that over there?) and lots of kids here dress up as book characters to go to school. The 10 yo's school had suggested various themes - superheroes, fairies/princesses, space/robots - so the 10 year old went as a fairy from the Artemis Fowl books. A LEPrecon elf, in fact. I think she was the only fairy with a gun in school today.

Off to refill my glass and go to bed.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 4:17 PM
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109

My friend who is now a special ed teacher, whenever he was asked as a child what he wanted to be when he grew up always answered, "A technician." Which is pretty funny, because what does that mean, exactly? I tried to train Keegan to answer that question with "a bureaucrat," but it never took hold.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 4:18 PM
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OT, but further proof you can say any goddamned thing in the world you want ("[D]o they consider themselves Americans? Do they consider themselves Christians? Are they worshipping Christ?") about a Democrat, and Howard Kurtz will not tut-tut you. Discourse in this nation is perhaps irredeemably sick.


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 4:26 PM
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111

But did the boys not play cute for their dads? (Certainly I've seen young boys do this.) Or the girls "flirt" with their moms? (I don't know what qualifies as "flirting," so I don't know if I've seen examples.)

This is my experience. It's not that they don't 'flirt', but they don't do it all that differently to the two of us -- Newt will bat his eyelashes and be adorable at Buck to get what he wants, and Sally, while she's pricklier, certainly throws a fair amount of "You're my very best mommy" my way.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 4:33 PM
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112

Bitch, Ph. D.'s substitution in 15 does not make any sense.


Posted by: Clownaesthesiologist | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 4:51 PM
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113

We are WASPs. This sort of thing Just Isn't Done.

Oh, don't be silly. We say 'Daddy, darling, I reelly reelly need to have a terribly wonderful party for my birthday' and bat our eyes, whilst our brothers approach our mothers and weedle with 'Mummy, do you think you could convince Pater that I should have a new Mercedes this year? The ashtrays in my current one are nearly full.'

When he was a pre-schooler, The Offspring flirted madly with every woman he saw. His all-purpose phrase was 'You're beautiful, will you marry me?' This got him attention, cookies and got me offers of help/discounts/whatever.

Unfortunately, clothes-wise, he fixated on 'the pants with the horse on them'. [Ralph Lauren Polo] Expensive taste, then and now.


Posted by: DominEditrix | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 5:07 PM
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My 2.3 year old grandnephew who stays with us sometimes will flirt and bat his eyes at everything that breathes including strangers in the Safeway. Just recently he's added a little dance to his flirt routine.

He also has learned that if he gets caught doing something bad, it helps a little to run up and kiss the person who caught him.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 5:14 PM
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I don't recall doing any of that flirty stuff with my mom; I would generally tease her and my dad in about the same way. My sister did a little of it with our dad.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 5:16 PM
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take a load off, fannie
take a load for free...


Posted by: the neoskeptic | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 5:27 PM
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Put your load right on me.


Posted by: m. leblanc | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 6:00 PM
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in which the daughter would act like a normal American arrogant sorority girl in all aspects of her existence but reverted to a strange high-pitched singsong voice when talking to her father and uncle.

Gack. While I've heard of such things, I'd never witnessed it until unfortunate enough in an airport not long ago to be stuck far too close to a (gorgeous, I suppose) 19-year-oldish girl travelling with her father; her eye-batting, whiny, "Daddy, I'm hungry, WHY is the plane not here yet?" (rolling her eyes, stomping her delicate ankle, leaning her head against Daddy's shoulder), was a marvel to behold.

Daddy seemed entirely unmoved. He steadfastly read his paper and replied mildly, if at all. The fair lass eventually slipped her feet back into her absurdly high heels, flipped open her cell phone, and staggered off to get some FOOD all by herself. Gosh. Life is hard.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 6:11 PM
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I have a very good friend who behaves like that with her father and some of her boyfriends. She's a totally take-charge, logical, serious person when she's around women or men she doesn't like.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 6:23 PM
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A gay friend of mine had a crush on a 22-y.-o. Asian woman like that. She was all babytalk and pouting and sulking and stamping her little foot. Also beautiful in an old stereotypical china-dall way, and a college graduate.

I think that to him her over-the-topness made her seem like a champion drag queen. He was into all ofrms of excess.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 6:29 PM
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For the record, by "flirty," I don't mean "princessy" or whiny or wheedling. I just mean that girls tend to be better able than boys to say things like, "oh, papa" in a teasing way to their dads, and boys tend to be better able than girls to butter up their moms. And I think it's even more obvious with adult men and women: young men will take advantage of how awfully cute it is to hug their shorter mothers, and young women I think find it easier to be casually affectionate with their dads.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 6:34 PM
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The girlfriend of a friend-of-a-friend talked baby talk when in the presence of men and came off as totally brainless. I had occasion to call her at work. The voice that answered the phone was crisp and businesslike.

My quasi-niece does that - around her father, it's little-girl-talk; out of his presence, she has a brain.


Posted by: DominEditrix | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 6:38 PM
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She's a totally take-charge, logical, serious person when she's around women or men she doesn't like.

Meaning that despite her behavior in other arenas, she's capable of being serious? Or meaning that she doesn't grace people she doesn't like with this idiotic girlish behavior? Or meaning, most charitably, that this behavior is a natural thing she feels the need to suppress among those who won't understand (those she doesn't like)?

Too detailed a series of questions, probably, but the whole thing stumps me.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 6:40 PM
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From what I've read (I can't do it, and have only seen it a little) this kind of code-shifting according to relationship is standard and necessary in China, Japan, and Indonesia, in increasing order of complexity. You relate to X differently depending on gender, relative age, class, and closeness (family, friend, coworker, stranger). While "relating differently" you basically become a different person.

I would imagine that in India and the Middle East this is true also in some degree.

One of my "culture shock" books I read in Asia said that Japanese felt that only Indonesians were able to learn this aspect of Japanese life.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 7:18 PM
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This behavior I didn't see in her until after over a year of knowing her quite well. With other women, with professors, with professional contacts, and with men who weren't sleeping with her, she is a competitive, logical, serious person. With boyfriends and her father, her voice goes up an octave, and she cooes. The first time I heard it I thought she was putting it on. I think both behaviors are natural to her, but that the cooing business won't be as helpful to her going forward.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 7:21 PM
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The cooing business won't be as helpful to her going forward.

Used strategically, it might be a valuable skill.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 7:27 PM
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she cooes

Like LB's former roommate's boyfriend?


Posted by: Clownaesthesiologist | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 7:30 PM
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124: Edward Elgar did this too. There's a ton of correspondence between him and his wife written--seriously, written--in baby talk. Apparently it was their own private language that they didn't even let their daughter in on. (Probably because they didn't seem to like her that much, but that's another thread.)


Posted by: Ubu Imperator | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 8:16 PM
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Sending your kid out in purple cargo pants is borderline child abuse.

Fuck that. If I could find a pair of purple cargo pants that fit, I'd wear those bitches to work.


Posted by: Paul | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 8:21 PM
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"work" s/b "masturbate"


Posted by: DaveL | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 8:23 PM
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Satin, or camo?


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 8:31 PM
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Camo, definitely, gswift. What a pimp-tastic way to support the troops!


Posted by: Paul | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 8:43 PM
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The satin ones are the most poorly-tailored pants ever. Nothing says h0tt like shiny fabric puckering on your hips.


Posted by: Magpie | Link to this comment | 03- 1-07 10:59 PM
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My wife has a pair of fuscia pink corduroy cargo pants bought from the kids' section at GAP -- I think they have age 10-11 written somewhere inside them. They are cool in an eccentric way, but she (literally) has to be about 110lbs or less to wear them which means they haven't been aired for a while.

Also, the baby-talk/girlie thing -- I've known quite a few women who are otherwise kick-ass who do it around their boyfriend or husband. Including, for that matter, partners of mine.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 03- 2-07 12:57 AM
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I wouldn't hesitate one single second to wear fuscia camo BDUs if I could find them.


Posted by: Nbarnes | Link to this comment | 03- 2-07 4:43 AM
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113: Bah, new money.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 03- 2-07 6:59 AM
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speaking differently or having a private language with your lover is hardly gendered. it seems like a lot of you are being perjorative about it just because it's not something you, personally, are into.

i've definitely had boyfriends who initiated that sort of thing with me. mostly involving animal-impersonation. including puppy-dog impersonation.


Posted by: georgette washington | Link to this comment | 03- 2-07 10:06 AM
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Doesn't this photo constitute a threat to anonymity?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 03- 2-07 10:55 AM
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Perhaps, but how do you want to bring that one up at the faculty meeting? "I recognized the picture of the cock on the website and believe it to be the very cock formerly on the bathroom stall!"


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 03- 2-07 10:59 AM
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re: 137

Yeah, leaving aside the gendering, I'd be happy to admit to doing it a little. Not animal impersonations and stuff, but definitely with the private phrases, particular ways of saying things, etc.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 03- 2-07 11:01 AM
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boyfriends who initiated that sort of thing with me [...] including puppy-dog impersonation

How low your fruit doth hang, Mrs. Washington.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 03- 2-07 11:05 AM
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Of course people have the right to do this baby-talking if it makes them happy, and to keep it private if they like.

Speaking for myself though, this would be a profound turn-off to me; I would freeze and disengage so precipitously that it would be awkward meeting the person on the street or looking them in the eye.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 03- 2-07 11:14 AM
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