AO Scott:
"300" is about as violent as "Apocalypto" and twice as stupid. Adapted from a graphic novel by Frank Miller and Lynn Varley, it offers up a bombastic spectacle of honor and betrayal, rendered in images that might have been airbrushed onto a customized van sometime in the late 1970s. The basic story is a good deal older. It's all about the ancient Battle of Thermopylae, which unfolded at a narrow pass on the coast of Greece whose name translates as Hot Gates.
Hot Gates, indeed! Devotees of the pectoral, deltoid and other fine muscle groups will find much to savor as King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) leads 300 prime Spartan porterhouses into battle against Persian forces commanded by Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro), a decadent self-proclaimed deity who wants, as all good movie villains do, to rule the world.
Labs, you MUST MUST see this movie. I was going to text you on the way out of the theater but realized I didn't have your number.
Have only watched clips online, but what the hell is with Butler slipping in and out of that heavy Scots accent?
Christ, now I may have to go see it just for the comedic value.
This may be mankind's finest movie hour.
I quoted, and commented on, a bunch of reaction, including that of the Manly Right, here.
I can't remember which one, but one of the Science/History channels had a terrific program this week on Thermopylae, which will certainly be repeated the weekend. Highly recommended. Re-enactments and the tight informative editing that they are superb at:for instance ten minutes on the 1-mile pontoon bridge Zerxes used to cross the Hellespont. Flax and Papyrus ropes. it was a period when merchant ships were undergoing a tech change, so old ones were cheap. Just tons of information without the emotion, tho there was some. Great stuff, the talking heads say they have no clue how Themistocles won two trireme battles when greatly outnumbered. Simply don't know.
Nobody else has apparently seen it. The Shows on the Franks/Merovingians ad the Lombards were also great. They all have just put me into a "Forever War" kind of mood.
This is probably a good time for the gay-rights people to make another military push. A lot of homoerotic energy is being wasted in bars, baths, and the like which could be put to good military use, and homophobes might be willing to go along since a lot of the military gays will inevitably be killed or mutilated.
As far as I know, the homoeroticism (which was hardly gay) of classical Greek culture including the military is well-established. I wonder what Victor Davis Hansen has to say about that?
Hansen is at Gary's link. Hansen praises the comic-book-ness of the movie and makes a dig at Oliver Stone's realist version, which emphasized Alexander's "supposed proclivities". Hansen is apparently an advocate of a "living tradition" adaptable to contemporary homophobic uses, which is what the nineteenth century did. We need not talk about our immortal heroes' loathsome and despicable perversions.
BMcM: Would this be Last Stand of the 300, History Channel?
Gary, thanks for that.
"Another movie -- Matt Stone and Trey Parker's "Team America," whose wooden puppets were more compelling actors than most of the cast of "300" -- calculated the cost at $1.05. I would happily pay a nickel less, in quarters or arcade tokens, for a vigorous 10-minute session with the video game that "300" aspires to become. Its digitally tricked-up color scheme, while impressive at times, is hard to tolerate for nearly two hours (true masochists can seek out the Imax version), and the hectic battle scenes would be much more exciting in the first person. I want to chop up some Persians too!"
And from Misha's comments: "As long as there are people who understand that without the United States all people will go back to wiping their asses with their hand."
"Hey! We should make a queer BDSM version of Braveheart!"
Leathermen do not run around with swords. That's the het bdsm/SCA crowd.
Also from Misha's comments, Gang of One writes:
I am filled with the memories of sitting at my PC in the city-room, trying to come up with cute and lofty memes for my derisive screeds against the annointedness of Hollyweird, and the artistic community.
The liberal gayocracy will never withstand our cute and lofty memes. Moving along…
At least the infants being tossed WERE defective, whether physical or mental or both, the Spartans did not murder unborn children — something the LLL has made a religious sacrament.
All this time, we should have been killing the babies after they're born. Doh!
Leathermen do not run around with swords
...yet.
Leathermen prefer smaller blades.
no, mithras is right in 12.
The longest blade Leatherman offers to date is about a 3.5 inch on the Charge or Surge. Thing is, up around 3.9 you run into federal weapon laws, so that limits the market.
Still, a Leatherman with a sword would find buyers. Provided that the pliers still had a decent taper into a needle-nose.
There are 4.5 inchers at the link in 15.
Can we eat some of these while we're watching it, then?
All this time, we should have been killing the babies after they're born. Doh!
Retroactive abortion makes lots of sense. See what the kid has turned into at eighteen and then make the decision. Besides, you'll have his iPod, laptop, and car.
300 - so good you'll eat Krispy Kreme.
Oh man, VDH is a lark. Great find, Gary.
17--
hate to tell you, stropher, but they're lying to you.
4.5" is the length of the whole knife, when closed.
blade length on that model is 3.1 inch.
it's a wicked world.
Huh. Well, you can see how much knowledge of knives I have.
Is the anti/idiotarian rott/weiler actually a dog? Because he seems to think a little less clearly than my family's late lamented border collie, who had to be put down after he bit my grandfather. Cardie was nicer, though.
The longest blade Leatherman offers to date is about a 3.5 inch on the Charge or Surge. Thing is, up around 3.9 you run into federal weapon laws, so that limits the market.
What? Fed regulations on blades are almost non existent, and the only one related to length I can think of offhand is the "dangerous weapon" exception for pocket knifes with a blade under 2.5'' when in federal facilities.
Does anyone else have a problem where they mentally file two nearly unrelated people together because of some similarity in names?
While reading the Victor Davis Hanson piece, I had to remind myself once again that Oliver Stone is not the same person as Oliver North.
(I've also got a Minksy/Chomsky hash collision.)
Minsky/Chomsky hash
Mmmm, hash...
Don't be like that. I mean one of these.
A new angle for pacifists: War is for faggots. It walks a tenuous line.
I once called coworker So/nya D/obberfuhls by coworker I/rene In/geldinger's name. No physical resemblance and 20 years apart in age. I guess I had a "quaint old-fashioned first name / funny Germanic last name" file. At least they were both white.
Ah. This explains Zell Miller's comments the other day (shameless link to up my paycheck at SG). He's on the payroll for the Warner Brothers publicity department.
"As long as there are people who understand that without the United States all people will go back to wiping their asses with their hand."
What I want to know is, will this include six-year-olds? Because that would be a net gain for me, if he'd wipe his own ass. I don't care what he uses to do it, either.
Damn, now I need to see this. My friends are all scared off by the mediocre reviews. =*(
Mediocre? Those were wonderful nasty-gram reviews! I'm hoping the New Yorker sends Anthony Lane to see it: he curls his lip like none other.
34: I mean in the aggregate -- 53 metacritic, etc. Hey, if any unfoggetarians want to see it, I'm game. I suspect it may go better with alcohol.
The problem is that as ironic and detached as I'd like to be, I suspect that instead I'd get all worked up and humorless about 1/3 the way through. Even the trailers make me slightly nauseated.
See what the kid has turned into at eighteen and then make the decision
When I was a snotty brat young'n, my mom would often say, "I brought you into this world; I can take you out." So I was under the impression I had been on borrowed time from the start.
36: I loved the original trailer, but half of that was the perfect choice of the NIN song overlaying it.
I don't care what he uses to [wipe his ass], either.
...they're sitting there doing their business, and the bear asks the rabbit, 'do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?' and the rabbit says 'no'.
So the bear grabs the rabbit and wipes his ass with him.
39: The version I heard has the roles reversed, and the cute little bunny rabbit backs up to the bears leg and rubs his ass on it.
Does anyone else have a problem where they mentally file two nearly unrelated people together because of some similarity in names?
There are quite a few unfogged frequent commenters who I've somehow paired in my mind (either because of similarish handles or handle styles, or because I took notice of them commenting at roughly the same time, or both) and sometimes confuse with each other if I'm not paying attention.
For example, I sometimes think "that doesn't sound like something Standpipe would say" and then realize that in fact Standpipe didn't say it, it was Hamilton Lovecraft.
41: This is why I gripe about people's handles; there are big categories I really can't keep straight. Ordinary men's first names all meld together into 'some guy', and jumbles of initials the same.
43: I agree with you wholeheartedly, JackmormonLizardbreath.
Of course knowing or meeting the actual person behind a handle, or even just seeing their picture, helps tremendously.
And no, I don't think I've ever actually confused you with Jackmormon, or anyone else, LB. But I think I used to confuse Becks and Jackmormon sometimes. I'm guessing my mental category was "female + the 'ck' sound" or something brilliant like that.
I do feel bad about it, because I end up not paying as much attention to people who haven't gelled into individuals for me, and it's not because their comments are dull, it's really the names. (That's actually how I ended up with my own ridiculous handle -- I lurked on a forum for a while before posting anything, and realized that the only posters who I felt as if I knew were the ones with silly names. So I picked a silly name.)
Until I've had a back-and-forth comments exchange with someone, I find it's really hard to keep track of them.
But going so far as to pick a silly handle? No thanks, I'll keep my dignity.
"I lurked on a forum for a while before posting anything, and realized that the only posters who I felt as if I knew were the ones with silly names"
I'm wondering if you have problems recalling the names of co-workers, fellow associates, partners, and clients, or if they all use silly handles in the office. This also makes me think I'm out of luck until I change my online handle.
Ordinary men's first names all meld together into 'some guy', and jumbles of initials the same.
Hmmmph.
Though, this makes me curious, I think I'm the only [male first name] + [initial] commenter, but that seems unlikely. Who am I forgetting, and would I want to be able to take credit for their comments?
Does anyone else have a problem where they mentally file two nearly unrelated people together because of some similarity in names?
I convinced my self that JoeO was Clownae's brother because of the "O" thing, even though there are a lot of "O"s in the world.
Ah, you answered my question (and now I too must confess dificulty distinguishing between commenters with generic names) I had forgotten about joeo.
51:Matt F and me, though technically my name is not sam, nor does my last name begin with a k. I simply have no imagination.
Whatever happened to Bostoniangirl?
She's around, Kotsko.
All you NickS, JoeO, and SamK people would be more distinguished with a last name of some sort. They could be made-up last names.
50: Actually, I do have trouble with names in the real world. Online, I do okay with people who use first and last names; you I don't mix up with anyone, or Sebastian Holsclaw. It's the ordinary sounding first name alone (or with a trailing initial -- sorry, Nick) that throws me; I have a heck of a time building up continuity from one comment to the next.
Should I just go by this? It's what everybody calls me anyway. Though I feel I would be betraying the HiveMatt.
No one should be changing their name just because I'm brain-damaged (unless they actually want to). It's just something I occasionally need to get apologetic about.
Spelled backwards, D'Eggo. All that Iranian nonsense is a puton -- Ogged is actually the heir to a Spanish frozen-waffle fortune.
YES
A ringing endorsement. Onward, then.
mike d, DaveL, DaveB.
My comment was mostly a joke, but now I feel silly.
Or NickSerious, if you dislike irony.
Hmph.
It's not you, Jackmo, you've got a nice handle, it's me.
I like MattF's new handle. Especially because I imagine it being said in a thick British accent (not a posh "cheerio old chap" one, more a Norf London "if you weren't so fick you'd remember people's handles" kind of thing).
I'm pretty sure this thread has to go to 300.
For SPARTA!
Y'all are using fake names? Shit, I'd best get thinkin'.
femtohacker it is (a handle I used during a brief bbs phase in HS which is still reasonably apt). It does feel dated, but I can try it for a while and see how it goes.
Um, femtohacker, who were you before?
77: And with all these MattXs abandoning their handles it'll be a little more unique...
78: I have a weak spot for anything even vaguely cyberpunkish and so I think that is probably the coolest name ever and I don't even know what femto means.
NickS -- I thought it was clear from the e-mail address.
Your gender just switched in my mind, femto.
Your gender just switched in my mind, femto.
That's nothing; I've been reading the e-mail address for weeks (months?) and vaguely assumed NickS was trans. Tech reference went right over my head. Oops.
Even though I know what femto means, for some reason the sound of "femtohacker" brings to mind the image of a goth chick.
And: you all read people's e-mail addresses when they comment? Really?
Femto -- the SI prefix meaning 1/10^15 (one millionth of a billionth).
Your gender just switched in my mind, femto.
Interesting. That's a reason to keep using the handle.
Nope. Although now that I've read yours, heebie, your handle suddenly makes so much more sense!
The thorough people who read the e-mail addresses probably catch all sorts details that the rest of us miss.
So that "mantohacker" would be better?
Obviously "Ficke" is clear, although I'll miss the old one, which was friendly somehow, and we're becoming relatively mattless.
its visual style is an unhappy mix of Leni Riefenstahl and Iron Maiden
Best description ever. *Devil horns*
That thread of Ace's is a great moment in the history of resentment--"Those friggin' liberals! I'm gonna see this movie twice just to piss them off!" Next week they'll be bitching about "Hollyweird" again.
I suspect it may go better with alcohol.
Amyls, definitely.
we're becoming relatively mattless.
Not to worry.
"Wolf Mattson" would be even better. Very Jack London.
Wolf Mattson is a little reminiscent of Wolfman Jack, too, which is good, what with the radio show.
Speaking of which, did Matt Weiner ever say why he left? I kind of miss the bastard.
Now I'm going to marry a girl named Gerdie and pine for the daughter of a lecherous bookstore owner.
Speaking of which, did Matt Weiner ever say why he left? I kind of miss the bastard.
I tried to find this out at UnfoggeDCon, and got just enough details from Becks to become thoroughly confused, and then she said she shouldn't really tell. Everyone else I asked professed ignorance, some more convincingly than others. And now I'm not even sure if it's kosher to reveal what little I "know" about the matter. Is it really important that it be a secret and/or does noone really know?
I will change my handle to Humphrey Chimpden Earwicker if LB gets confused. Heck there was a post about "Bob" the other day that at first glance I thought was about me.
No acronyms or variants will be welcome when referring to me, unless they are both allusive and funny.
But I bet there are dozens of Humphrey Chimpden Earwickers commenting psuedonymously around the 'sphere.
Now I'm going to marry a girl named Gerdie and pine for the daughter of a lecherous bookstore owner.
Say that reminds me, this is a thoroughly enjoyable animated short.
61 - I was totally hoping to be assigned McManly Pants.
99 - It's time to for the world to know. Matt Weiner accidently killed Ogged, and because of his great shame has vowed to take his place.
Wolf Mattson is a little reminiscent of Wolfman Jack, too, which is good, what with the radio show.
And that reminds me: no offense to young Ben, but this is quite possibly the bestest radio program ever (despite what the dj looks like).
Oh God, now I'm going to come back tomorrow and everyone will be going by new names.
Or worse, everyone will be going by "Matt".
105: Yep, and Twine Time (and Unfogged) makes staying home alone on a warm spring Saturday night not such a bad thing after all.
Although actually I'm not at home, I'm catsitting at Sir Kraab's.
#97 I like to think that the Meatman is away doing missionary work at other blogs. Like the Mormons.
Maybe "Matt" can be to Unfogged what "Bruce" is to Australlia.
This is why I'm "snarkout" here instead of "Steve", but perhaps I will be "Wild Dada Matt" for a few days.
When I change my pseudonym, it'll be to "Match Malls".
"Snarkout" is from the Daniel Pinkwater books I read in middle school?
112: No, he's just a guy who chose his pseudonym from those Pinkwater books. Those books are fiction, there's nobody who is actually "from" them, heebie.
Says the person who lives in my computer.
It is indeed. When I was attending college, there was a tool you could use to set up a mail alias for yourself, only there was no collision checking. For my freshman year I was sassy@snooty.edu, and then someone else — who seemed not to understand what the "nickname" field was for — added it, causing my email to become irregular, so I switched to a callout for my then-favorite Pinkwater book.
As long as Matt F is changing his handle, may I suggest he pretend his first name is Ichabod and sign his comments "Ich Ficke"? Not that Unfogged needs more porny Google hits.
Fuck that, M/tch, I want to be fictional. Break the fourth wall, here! You've just finished reading post 117 by Italo Calvino.
When I change my pseudonym, it'll be to "Match Malls".
I guess my secret is out then.
While most people who got CDs from me in merely had their names written on their CDs, Ficke's was adorned with the phrase "man sagt, daß Matt Ficke".
And now you know another truth!
True story: I was supposed to be named Matthew Patrick Barnes, but when the nurses handed me to my mother, she looked at me and said, "This isn't a Matthew or a Patrick." So I got Robert Russell instead.
In addition, I was supposed to be Amanda, and then my brother was supposed to be Amanda, and then my mother just got discouraged and got her tubes tied.
"isn't a" s/b "doesn't look like"
"or a" s/b "or"
"apostromatt" s/b "mattostropher".
Both my older brother and younger sister had alternative names prepared should they be the opposite gender, but my parents never did this for me, out of some oversight or conviction they wouldn't be necessary.
Perhaps the story's apostrophal?
125: Give her a break, M/tch. She was drugged out of her gourd.
129:Um, you're confusing me with w-lfs-n. Let me attempt to make myself more clear:
"a Matthew" s/b "the postman"
"a Patrick" s/b "the milkman"
"Robert Russel instead" s/b "Robert Russel (after the meter reader) instead"
Lotta work for a really lame joke, I know, but in for a penny, in for a pound.
"a Patrick" s/b "the milkman"
Funnily enough, I'm the only member of my immediate family with red hair (my maternal grandfather was a redhead, but none of his five children had red hair; I was the first of several redheaded grandchildren), so people asked *all the time* where the red hair came from. My mother usually said the milkman.
Also, "Russel" s/b "Russell". Like Bertrand.
Completely OT, I have been cleaning and going through boxes of books today and I came across a favorite book from childhood Rootabaga Stories. It is a collection of whimsical childrens stories written by Carl Sandburg in the early 1920s.
Looking through it I was reminded how delightful the language is, and how much it demands to be read out loud.
Here is the opening to one story which I think is great, and it just notable how strong the feel of a phrase like "he big dark curves of the night sky" is in the mouth.
When the dishes are washed at night time and the cool of the evening has come in summer or the lamps and fires are lit for the night in winter, then the fathers and mothers in the Rootabaga Country sometimes tell young people the story of the White Horse Girl and the Blue Wind Boy.
The White Horse Girl grew up far in the west of the Rootabaga Country. All the years she gre up as a girl she liked to ride horses. Best of all things for her was to be straddle of a white horse loping with a loose bridle among the hills and along the rivers of the west Rootabaga Country.
...
And living neighbor to the White Horse Girl in the prairie country, with the same black crows flying over their places, was the Blue Wind Boy. All the years he grew up as a boy he liked to walk with his feet in the dirt and the grass listening to the winds. Best of all things for him was to put on strong shoes and go hiting among the hills and along the rivers of the west Rootabaga Country, listening to the winds.
There was a blue wind of day time, starting sometimes six o'clock on a summer morning or eight o'clock on a winter morning. And there was a night wind with blue of summer stars in summer and blue of winter stars in winter. And there was yet another, a blue wind of the times between night and day, a blue dawn and evening wind. All three of these winds he liked so well he could not say which he like best.
"The early morning wind is strong as the prairie and whatever I tell it I know it believes and remembers," he said, "and the night wind with the big dark curves of the night sky in it, the night wind gets inside of me and understands all my secrets. And the blue wind of the times between, in the dusk when it is neither night nor day, this is the wind that ask me questions and tells me to wait and it will bring me whatever I want."
Of course it happened as it had to happen, the White Horse Girl and the Blue Wind Boy met . . . .
I probably should have posted that to the thread that has turned into a discussion of parenting.
Does my name have an identity, or is it just a confusing jumble of letters to most people? (From the typos when people address me, I assume the latter.)
The two people, ever, who have understood my handle get my respect.
You've explained your handle at least once before on Unfogged, and that definitely helped me remember it. Before that, it just seemed like a jumble of whatever, although I did know what pdf and 3ds mean.
And in case your worried about it, please know that I'll try my best to bravely soldier on through this hard and bitter life, despite not having your respect.
in case your worried about it
Well, you're not trying very hard.
(Just to be clear, I meant to imply in 137 that my handle is ridiculously obscure, so no disrespect to people who don't get it.)
Wait, people are changing their usernames? Great. Now I have to decide who I hate and who I like all over again.
In other news, I got stood up on a first date tonight, and saw a nice improv play at the Hideout.
Bad times. I believe the proper remedy is alcohold, masturbation, then crying yourself to sleep.
That's what you do with an alcopop.
145: Sorry to hear that, pfd. Glad you enjoyed the play though.
143: Don't worry, I'll still stay below your radar.
135: Sandburg's home is across town from where I grew up and we used to take field trips to the Sandburg house all the time. There's a tiny little outdoor amphitheater and my classes would go do performances and readings from Rootabaga Stories. Damn, I loved that. That's getting bumped up to after-next in my to-(re-)read list.
102: You are always welcome to adopt yourself into the McManlyPants family, but first you'll have to take out the fucking space.
There's no space for fucking in the McManlyPants clan!
In other news, I got stood up on a first date tonight, and saw a nice improv play at the Hideout.
In Chicago?
pdf2ds, I assumed I got your handle, because on Unix if you want to turn something from a pdf file to a postscript it's pdf2ps, so I figured this was a similar command?
155: I'm pretty sure the answer to your question is "no, in Austin", ben.
137: I always assumed it was a vector graphics reference. Wrong?
I love Rootabaga Stories. I love that you can download a PDF of the first edition from Google Books.
Tool to take a PDF and extrude it into a mesh readable by 3D Studio Max?
Sandburg has been repressed by the dominant paradigm. Kipling's "Just So Stories" too, another great children's book even though it exoticized Parsees like Ogged.
159 - It's a robot pickup line.
153 - Okay, I got rid of the fucking space. My wife will miss the bed, though.
bed s/b edge of the coffee table
Yeah, 161 has it. (And 156 gets quite close.) In retrospect, pdf2pov would have been better, both for the double meaning (POV, plus POV-Ray) which gets at the intended effect, and just less confusing
Too late now.
I think "pdf2yourmother" has a nice ring to it.
Mmm, POVRay. I remember writing code to generate weird recursive plant life scenes for it.
"Ralph Pdf23ds+" is a nice name for a robot.
300 took in an estimated $70 million box office this weekend. Go tell the Spartans, stranger passing by, that here, obedient to Warner Bros., we totally kicked gay Persian ass!
You know, it was beautifully shot, and competently acted, but man was that a piece of jingoistic, racist tripe.
But wasn't that obvious from the trailers?
I just look at the pretty pictures during the previews.
165: yeah, that's what I had in mind. pdf is a vector format, 3ds was mesh + whatever, unix foo2bar convension, voila a vector graphics converter.
re: 3
The Scottish accent is Butler's own. I presume he just can't repress it for an entire film ...
Also, re: the multiplicity of Matts... there can be only one. I've disposed of Weiner, and I only have a few more to get, and then I can re-(un)reverse my name ...
170: But it wasn't racist! The ancient Persians are just different from you and me, what with their Eastern dress and piercings, and that's why you felt uncomfortable with their depiction on screen. At least that's what Victor Davis Hanson said on Talk of the Nation today.