It's like "He Said/She Said," but with two women! So exciting.
This is why enlightened businesses install table football ...
with two women! So exciting.
Please, Tim, this is a family blog.
Get some rats, get some acid, combine the two, and turn them loose in your office building. Hilarity will ensue, I promise. Only the unfoggregate will know how to remove them easily.
Yes - but you do great blogging about the Employee Free Choice Act among other things. And there are other jobs. And decongestant is always an option. Espeically if it causes a chemical imbalance that will lead you to quit your job in a fit of pique.
Hot girl-on-girl dialectics. Who wants to lay odds on the inevitable Aufhebung?
What you need is some titties. Or dead puppies. Different strokes...
4: A particularly annoying partner has mentioned a rodent phobia, to the point where I have seriously contemplated the possibility of rubber rats in his desk drawers. But that would be wrong, and less fun than justified by the likely repurcussions.
Real rats, on the other hand, would be seriously fun.
8: Got some, thanks. Their entertainment potential as I sit in my office is limited.
Anyone, pretty much. How much fun is there to be had with dead puppies?
Thing to do is post some flyers for a missing pregnant rat around the neighborhood, like people do for missing dogs and cats. You know, with cute but blurry picture and "Needs daily heart medicine, kids heart-broken, etc. Wait a week and then turn a bunch loose in the building.
Other points of mischief: tiny rubber spiders dropped in interoffice envos. Or ammonium triodide sprinkled in the hallways. The snap, crackle, and pop always drives them nuts (old preppie trick). No-one needs to know ... the best part.
12: where's your sense of adventure?
There's fun to be had with potentially dead puppies.
It takes all the fun out of killing the puppy if someone pays you to do it.
If they paid you to swim wouldn't still be fun? Why try to create moral distinctions between killing puppies and other professional sports?
I'm pretty sure it would be less fun, actually.
10: Phone the support department: get the photocopier moved into your office for the rest of the day.
You guys are ignoring LB's dilemma. She can't experience the joy of killing puppies, whether or not she is paid. Her puppies are already dead. She needs to know how you can entertain yourself when all you have are dead puppies and an office full of lawyers. Lets face it: this is a real puzzler.
Wouldn't it be funny if whenever a partner opened a cabinet, there was a dead puppy inside?
When's the dude with the bagpipes going to show up?
Charlie seems to be proposing that I photocopy them -- conceptual art wasn't really what I was thinking of, but I suppose it's worth a shot.
There is a cabinet here at work that has titties inside. I'm completely serious about this.
Hey, LizardBreath, sorry you are feeling down. We miss you down here at small-law, where we are scrappy but happy-go-lucky. Come on down and we will glue someone's desk drawers shut.
Well, not titties per se, but breast implants.
29: I hear they make good wrist rests for mouse users.
25: Was that a lucky guess, or have I mentioned the dude with the bagpipes? Anyway, the internal bagpipe parade was last week. The partner I'm working for now has a moderately ridiculous habit of picking up a guitar in moments of tension and starting to strum, but that's different.
29: I used to work in a doctor's office that had a set of tits-in-a-box that were used to demonstrate proper breast exam technique -- you were supposed to find the tumors and distinguish them from the normal lumpiness. They were disturbingly realistic in appearance and texture.
28: Piratical, as well. Nothing like working for a scrappy, piratical organization.
Nothing like working for a scrappy, piratical organization
Arrr.
Gawd, I'm even loving the implicit comment number competition in this game of "She Said/She Said." Right now, it looks like Becks (or possibly "optimism," though that seems unlikely on this blog) is more beloved, but I don't think the end comment count difference is going to be very large.
Look Timbot, we all know you're thinking it, so why not just say it? Catfight!
I agree with Becks' point--DST is awesome; sunlight is awesome; both are Generation Awesome!--but I refuse to concede this fight, even if LB is presently helping the enemy by commenting on the other thread. If necessary, I will enlist M/tch M/lls to take this thread to 100 by himself!
I'll try to help. Isn't there a study linking more light to more teens having abortions, since they can get to the clinic easier? Or is it vice versa, 'cause dark = sex?
So where are we supposed to choose LB or Becks?
Is someone keeping score?
What does the loser have to do?
I would enjoy the time change if I didn't have a cold. I suppose I'll be healthy by the fall. Or dead.
What does the loser have to do?
Make out with the winner. Unfortunately, I think she has to blog-make out with the winner, which amounts to a post saying, "I am making out with [X]." Not very satisfying, but that's life, which, in turn, is why we should all be supporting the DST-dyspeptic LB post.
Fortunately I never have to wake up during the dark unless I have to catch a plane, so this is nothing but peaches and gravy for me. And even so, the warm weather of the approaching season helps me wake up better than the so-called sun's presence does.
Becks loses: I have more energy and motivation, feel more cheerful, and I'm making out with LB! This is awesome!
LB loses: My sinuses are clogged, I hate my job, and I'm amusing you losers with the single lamest lesbian fantasy ever invented.
I think we will get the outcome we deserve, no?
"Make out with the winner. Unfortunately, I think she has to blog-make out with the winner, which amounts to a post saying, "I am making out with [X]." Not very satisfying, but that's life, which, in turn, is why we should all be supporting the DST-dyspeptic LB post."
The exit polling seems to indicate the LB is going down in a big way.
44: Sucks to your "warm weather of the approaching season." It was 95 degrees here on Monday. I hate it. Give me seasons or give me... something else, I guess...
The exit polling seems to indicate the LB is going down in a big way.
So LB already lost? And, man, you kids these days. Oral sex like shaking hands.
38:The Mystery of the Trinity is best explained by puppies squirming in a canvas bag, seen through 6 feet of clear creek water.
#49 is going to be the title of the first album by my symphonic grindcore band if I ever form one.
I was going to suggest that the loser has to shave her head or post a youtube video of herself singing, but your idea is much better.
Comment 49 belongs at The Weblog, Bob.
I'm so going to win at making out with all of my energy and motivation.
And with the extra evening daylight you can see the puppies at an even more convenient time of day, long after standard work hours. I still don't get what the problem is.
I was going to make a comment abot watching LB going down on becks through 6 feet of clear creek water, but this is not the underwater sex blog.
I believe that with this comment, the comment count difference is down to two. Gawd, I love the playoffs!
Man, I complain about being in a bad mood, and suddenly I'm having imaginary sex while breathing through a snorkel?
"Man, I complain about being in a bad mood, and suddenly I'm having imaginary sex while breathing through a snorkel? "
The alternate theory was getting your butt beat by Becks.
Probably how any actual conflict would come out. I'm non-violent and cowardly.
I'm having imaginary sex while breathing through a snorkel
See, don't you feel better already?
Have you ever tried breathing through a snorkel with your nose stuffed up?
"Have you ever tried breathing through a snorkel with your nose stuffed up?" Lizardbreath asks as she tries to explain how to perform oral sex.
Would sex last longer if people kept their hands in those DARPA cool-thingys? Or would it just seem longer because of the giggling?
Breathing through a snorkel is mouth breathing by definition. Shouldn't make much difference. I love free diving and would do a lot more of it if I didn't live in the murky midwest.
And my thread is now in the lead. I've lost track of what I win, other than a victory for the forces of darkness and depression.
a victory for the forces of darkness and depression
Maybe you should write limericks about Bud Cummins.
Have you ever tried breathing through a snorkel with your nose stuffed up?
Likely there are imbeded in this sentence one or more euphemisms which you young people use that are lost on me. I am too much of a gentleman to inquire. So let me just say that I hope you feel better soon.
a victory for the forces of darkness and depression
Sounds good to me. Since DST, my mother, a normally kind and generous woman, has been replaced by the Form of the Mother of the Bride. Still kind and generous, but fully insane.
Also, it says something about this blog that there are over 130 comments on friggin' daylight savings time.
been replaced by the Form of the Mother of the Bride
Hasn't she been a bit insane about all that for quite some time now?
We were only approximating the Form before.
I like those long summer evenings in the PNW, but it's a total PITA living here because we don't do DST and therefore end up another hour behind mainland time zones when you all do.
Remind her that your sister is watching, and may make decisions based on what she sees.
(I know you can't do that, it just seems like an appropriate comment on phone-in day)
Ouch. Is this all still theoretical, or have you solved the parish problem? Or is the MOTBness focussed on your culpable failure to solve the parish problem?
Would sex last longer if people kept their hands in those DARPA cool-thingys?
Wrong body part.
At that point, I don't think it counts as sex any longer.
Also, it says something about this blog that there are over 130 comments on friggin' daylight savings time.
When does the making out commence? Do we need a Godwin's confirmation?
72: Obviously Hawaii sucks and you should move.
79: Nah, the rest of you should quit fucking with your clocks.
Hawaii sucks
B.Ph.D. has never been more wrong. Hawaii is paradise.
If necessary, I will enlist M/tch M/lls to take this thread to 100 by himself!
It looks like my services won't be needed here. But just in case:
Well, not titties per se, but breast implants.
Oh like you can tell the difference.
I used to work in a doctor's office that had a set of tits-in-a-box that were used to demonstrate proper breast exam technique -- you were supposed to find the tumors and distinguish them from the normal lumpiness. They were disturbingly realistic in appearance and texture.
Disturbingly? Do you hate breasts, or the wonders of materials science, or both?
We solved the parish problem, thankfully. It's just bottled-up excitement on the part of my mother, it just means she goes seventeen directions at once, and she's so frightfully worried about having it perfect that it leads to a lot of second guessing about things I couldn't care less about.
And something may have been said to the effect of relax, it's never going to be this easy, because youngestcalasister is going to take notes and break the bank.
I mean, only one comment in 11 hours? Come on.
How can you let the happy chirpy people win?
Disturbingly? Do you hate breasts, or the wonders of materials science, or both?
I am disturbed by apparently amputated body-parts in a box.
I mean, only one comment in 11 hours? Come on.
You've got a real thing about thread length, don't you? You've got to remember that it's not the length of the thread, it's what you say in the comments.
tIs that the blog version of "fat talk" you're trying to engage me in, LB?
Anyway, I'm only doing it for SCMT.
And you, of course.
Oh and Sparta.
I hate DST because change is bad. I'm sick of fucking with my schedule twice a year. Split the difference and leave me the hell alone.