Maybe it's his willingness to hit on more or less anyone, thus increasing his chances of at least some positive outcomes.
Yes, that's it. I'd say "he has no shame or fear of embarrassment" if I was his jealous friend.
One of my friends upped his number of romantic liaisons from an average of 0 per semester to something like 12 in the last semester of college. Nothing to lose.
Upped his average? Including all those zero semesters? It would take quite a high number in that last semester to get the average to 12, wouldn't it?
Not jealous-- not even envious. Just mystified.
No. If he were a good talker, I'd totally get it. But I've seen good talkers, and this is not it.
If you were gay, you'd have spelled Taylor Dayne's name correctly.
DAMN. I checked with google and everything. I knew it looked wrong.
Labs, can I tell you something:
The (heterosexual) men I've loved most and best have always seemed slightly gay.
I'm using gay in the conventional, somewhat stereotypical sense. I mean, my brother is gay, and he doesn't seem gay at all.
These men I've loved most, they dance with a smile, a beauty to watch, a twinkle in their eyes; they like to decorate their places. They are frequently less aware than most men of what might be called machismo issues. People you can talk to, who aren't hung up. It's so refreshing.
I advise all you heterosexual men to become more gay. If you can figure it out.
I knew a guy with nothing much going for him who'd hit on ten women a week. He had no shame, no fear of embarassment, and no fear of rejection. His best luck seemed to be with youngish women who were new in town. His luck was pretty good for someone with nothing at all going on.
I don't know these women well enough to find a common type, other than "hotter than you'd expect."
I retire to my home to ponder the mysteries.
10: I've read that Aussie men are so straight that they think you're queer if you pay any attention to women at all.
2: He might be talking about a moving average.
Last semester sex is at least as much "I will never see these people again" on the part of women as it is "lack of fear" on the part of guys. Or so it has seemed to me.
14: There may be something to that.
Gotta pay equal attention to men as to women. We're all equally interesting. Or should be.
Hell, if that's not the case, there's a problem with either you or your friends.
no fear of rejection. That's the secret, and based on the various comments here and around, the FoR incidence must have increased greatly since the Fifties. I'm thinking of opening a dating clinic for y'all.
frequently less aware than most men of what might be called machismo issues.
This is really the key to the gayish-het-men-are-better thing. Not being hung up on obligatory guy stuff makes one much more open to other things that matter more, for instance, the people who are around you. I have a straight friend who's much gayer than me and he's really a pleasure to be around. I'm trying to pick some gay up from him.
That said, I would really like to land a husband who's a fabulous dresser, because I need the help.
I need the help.
Maybe it's just a phase, cerebrocrat.
I have a straight friend who's much gayer than me and he's really a pleasure to be around. I'm trying to pick some gay up from him
I love this.
Hey! I'm hung up on guy stuff, but also like decorating my place. Make room in your worldview!
22:
How unselfconciously do you dance?
And do you wear any jewelry?
"Items"?! In my day, we called posts like these "".
Scratch the jewelry part. That's just a marker.
Don't force me to think seriously about this, Ogged. It's okay enough if you just walk around your place naked while watering the plants. You have plants, right?
It's lovely here at the Ocean Breeze Home for geriatric commenters.
Not only that, in those days comments like 2 were often met with the question, WMYBSALB?
If you two country hens are finished clucking, I'd like to buy a copy of Jugs & Ammo and ask a hookup-related question.
So you just stare at the walls.
g'night.
I think you should ask him, then post his answer.
Just for research purposes.
I think the guys that have this kind of batting average know how to pay attention to women in a "You're the most marvelous thing ever and I'm not easily won over" vibe.
Without the "I'm not easily won over" qualifier, you just seem creepy. But if a guy makes girls feel like he sets the bar really high and he's dazzled by them...it can be irresistible to a bright-eyed young thing in the spring.
I think Heebie's right. Being able to dote on a woman without seeming creepy is a rare skill, but amazingly seductive.
Also, maybe he's really good in bed.
I'll ask him. w-lfs-n, what's your secret? I kid, I kid.
There's also being sensitive about people's moods. A whole bunch of casual sex happens because the people involved wanted to get laid, rather than because the potential partner was so compelling. If this guy has a knack for picking up on when women he knows are sniffing around for some casual sex, so he knows when to make a pass, that would explain a lot of success.
I've read that Aussie men are so straight that they think you're queer if you pay any attention to women at all.
Ah, the old "manners of a dancing-master" put-down. Damn those androgynous lotharios.
re: 37
Yeah, I used to be pretty good at noticing when people found me attractive (and when they found other people attractive). I'd always be the one saying 'She totally fancies you' to the oblivious friend who'd have no clue.
It doesn't make you more attractive to other people but it means you can capitalise on those occasions when they do.
10 - I have a great story: so there was this guy working in a coffee shop/used bookstore, and one day he came to work to learn that he had to train a very attractive young woman. So he taught her how to use the espresso machine; where all the coffee beans were; how to shelve books; &c. Over the course of this conversation, he learns that she's recently returned from two years in Italy. He asks her what it's like to be back, and she 1) speaks of how much she misses it and 2) that she has an allergic reaction every time she eats a salad.* The guy -- because he's a militant vegetarian/organic-foods guy -- proceeds to spend the next fifteen minutes extolling the virtues of organic lettuce. As his shift ends, he promises to look into her strange food allergy in more detail and get back to her. As her shift ends, she thinks "what a nice gay man."
And despite thinking much the same thing for the next six months, here we are, today, still married.
*Turns out she acquired a common late-in-life food allergy to mushrooms.
"The (heterosexual) men I've loved most and best have always seemed slightly gay."
Good point. I think a lot of guys confuse being masculine (which is a necessary condition to be hook up with the straight girls) with being what guys actually need to compete on. You just need enough to show you're a guy, and then its the funny/interesting/good cheekbones that actual makes you stand out. You need a little bit of manishness, but being uber-man doesn't do you any good.
39: I spotted my future sister-in-law liking my brother before he noticed. They were coworkers. Alas, I was not able to squelch the relationship. Their kids are cute, though.
40: I'm surprised she didn't think, "what a self-righteous bore."
43: Well, she rather disliked me for the first 5 years or so, but we've gotten used to each other. I just don't talk about the no-relationship policy.
43: She did. (Though she claims otherwise so as to not hurt my feelings.) But -- and this is the important part -- the gay thing was my in.
The friend of mine who has the best luck with women has that little-bit-gay thing going on. (He dances, even.) So, Labs, if you can learn to rein it in, maybe you'll get lucky too.