The date "February 4, 1998" is cropped out of the photo.
My crack investigative journalism (e.g., asking him) revealed that he had only updated his status from "none" to "single", not switched his status from "in a relationship" to "single", which is usually what is required to warrant the broken heart. But I couldn't resist! I had to pimp him out to the ladies! That broken heart was just so tragic!
That "none" category would appeal to Emerson, I'm thinking.
from "none" to "single"
Known in the blues vernacular as "been down so long that it looks like up to me."
A moment before I read this, I saw Ficke recording smasher's facebook gag. This is indeed a grim vision of the inter-future. Nothing but screenshots of facebook, as far as the browser can scroll...
I lose another follower. That's OK, Ben, there's no reason for you to think about my feelings. No one else does.
Personally, in the world of today, I don't think that anyone should use phrases like "crack X" in the sense of of "expert X". There are just too many pitfalls.
9: Smasher is another of those guys who should getting love all day, every day. Because that's funny.
Sort of. They say you're supposed to use a real name, but they'll only turn you down (they review all user names) if it looks obviously fake.
Obviously if you sign up with a fake name that looks like a real name they're not going to figure it out, but if you create a profile that's clearly fake they'll kick you off. There used to be a lot of these, and some of them were really funny, but then they got wise to it and laid the smackdown.
I'd have thought they'd have learned their lesson from Friendster. Fakesters were the only good reason to be on Friendster in the first place.
What about a real name, but not your real name?
If they can't tell, they're not going to do anything.
The link in 14 is bringing out the latent libertarian in me. Is this not Exhibit A for why lawyers have a bad reputation? Thank goodness the commenters injected a little sanity into the discussion.
I'd have thought they'd have learned their lesson from Friendster.
They exist to sell your information to marketers. Fake profiles devalue their product.
Nothing but screenshots of facebook, as far as the browser can scroll
The mise en abyme: I'm happy to have helped to usher it to fruition.
Timbot, we should be MySpace buddies.
Facebook sells information to marketers? Man, am I naive.
Not that I'm on Facebook, or likely ever will be, but still.
Ha, Becks. I saw the same thing and thought about posting it.
Armsmasher's feed has been hilarious. I didn't know the proper place to say so, but here is as good as any.
They exist to sell your information to marketers.
Yeah, but if they don't have any users, they don't have any information to sell.
Then again, I don't think anybody ever talked about buying Friendster for $1 billion, so there you go.
"None" isn't, as far as I can tell, a category one can select; I had just never selected anything at all before.
Now that he's come out, as it were, we should throw him a sweet sixteen.
No, nor men. I'm sure Ben is hurt that his Jewishness is more obvious to you than his Y chromosome.
Obviously if you sign up with a fake name that looks like a real name they're not going to figure it out, but if you create a profile that's clearly fake they'll kick you off. There used to be a lot of these, and some of them were really funny, but then they got wise to it and laid the smackdown.
You know, you're right. I was friends with Saparmurat Aliyevich Niyazov Turkmenbashi (his network was "Dartmouth Staff") for several months, and now I look and his profile has disappeared.
What if it happens to me?!?!?!? Who are they to say who exists and who does not?!?!?!?
Do you know that my grandmother, until recently, held the title of national security czar for DAR? While I was in college, she cooked up a scheme to have the UN evicted from the United States, figuring that most nations had not paid some category of taxes on their place in the UN building (not realizing that the whole thing was a gift from Rockefeller, right?). So all the time she was asking me to gather for her blueprints of the UN building, which I knew even back then to be a slightly sketchy request.
This is the same grandmother who served as executive director of the Alamo, and escorted Ozzy off the premises. She also instilled in me the belief—one that persisted until college—that, from his deathbed, Davy Crockett threw a knife that pierced two of Santana's Mexicans. (It's fully clear to me now that he only got one.)
42: Well, he's on the thin side. If he'd shave, he might be able to pull off drag.
I'm sure Ben is hurt that his Jewishness is more obvious to you than his Y chromosome.
That's lovely. Because it's true.
Yeah.
I'm a Son of the Republic of Texas, Son of the Confederacy, and Son of the American Revolution.
Also, Becks style.
Wait a minute. I have established through nerdly conversations here and with genealogist-nut CharleyCarp that I could join the DAR and demand a coming-out ball. Or could have, or whatever. Surely if I married a JewyMcFinkelstein, my daughter would have the exact same claim to DAR status as if I married, say, a second-generation English immigrant?
44 is awesome. There's a family legend that I still maybe kinda sorta believe a little bit that we had a relative who was a friend of Pat Garrett, and that the very old pistol in the top drawer of the guest room dresser was Billy the Kid's "spare" gun.
Also, my dad once told me I should join the DAR (apparently I'm supposedly eligible or something). I *think* he was joking.
There ought to be a Sons of the American Revolution, because then they would be SARS.
49: Does the DAR recognize maternal descent?
54.---If they don't, I don't qualify.
They just seem like the kind of organization that might not.
that the very old pistol in the top drawer of the guest room dresser was Billy the Kid's "spare" gun.
Don't let just anyone get that pistol when your parents die. Even if you're not inclined to keep it, it might be worth quite a bit of money.
57: Mr. B. gave it to my asshole uncle in Oklahoma because he was not going to try to get even an antique gun across the border. Plus it seemed like the right thing to do.
57: Mr. B. gave it to my asshole
This is a family blog, B.
62: I wouldn't think so. Mr. B is no relation to B's uncle.
I was reading 60 as a standalone with elided "my".
63: Notice that *this* time there was an all-important comma.
Does "modify" count as a legally actionable verb w/r/t incest?
All tools serve to modify something.
(For instance, a ruler modifies our knowledge of something's length.)
Speaking of tools, seriously, there should be a guide for Nerve profiles. These are fucking pathetic.
Someone should redact 70. I meant to say,
68 is a bit of a stretch.
He's single! Punches must be pulled w/r/t length!
49 -- "nut"?
Eligibility for the DAR is not based on any particular line. (It's thus not like the Cincinnati). You can be a member based on any ancestor, and, no matter who you marry, your children can join the CAR -- and either DAR or SAR, as the case may be, when their old enough.
I can't imagine there being any religious test for membership, but then it might be in the bylaws. IIRC, in the 90's, the GSMD dropped its requirement that applicants certify not having called for the violent overthrow of the US government.
67 and 68 were extremely lame allusions to the philosophical investigations.
Why Ben can't join the DAR [and it's not because he's Jewish:
Any woman is eligible for membership who is no less than eighteen years of age and can prove lineal, blood line, descent from an ancestor who aided in achieving American independence. She must provide documentation for each statement of birth, marriage and death.
Admission to membership in the NSDAR is either by invitation through a Chapter in your State Organization (or Unit Overseas) or as a Member-At-Large. No Chapter may discriminate against an applicant on the basis of race or creed.
Acceptable Service for Ancestor:
NOTE: The National Society reserves the right to determine the acceptability of all service and proof thereof. The National Society accepts service, with some exceptions, for the period between 19 April 1775 (Battle of Lexington) and 26 November 1783 (withdrawal of British Troops from New York), as follows:
Signers of the Declaration of Independence
Military Service: (participation in) Army and Navy of the Continental Establishment, State Navy, State and Local Militia, Privateers, and Military or Naval Service performed by French nationals in the American theater of war.
Civil Service: (holding office under authority of the Provisional or new State Governments) State, County and Town Officials (Town Clerk, Selectman, Juror, Town Treasurer, Judge, Sheriff, Constable, Jailer, Surveyor of Highways, Justice of the Peace)
Patriotic Service: (to include) Members of the Continental Congress, State Conventions and Assemblies Membership in committees made necessary by the War, including service on committees which furthered the cause of the Colonies from April 1774, Committees of Correspondence, Inspection and Safety, committees to care for soldier's families, etc.
Signer of Oath of Fidelity and Support, Oath of Allegiance
Members of the Boston Tea Party
Defenders of Forts and Frontiers, and Signers of petitions addressed to and recognizing the authority of the Provisional and new State Governments
Doctors and nurses and others rendering aid to the wounded (other than their immediate families)
Ministers who gave patriotic sermons and encouraged patriotic activity
Furnishing a substitute for military service
Prisoners of war or refugees from occupying forces
Prisoners on the British ship Old Jersey, or other prison ships
Service in the Spanish Troops under Galvez or the Louisiana Militia after 24 December 1776
Those who rendered material aid, such as furnishing supplies with or without remuneration, lending money to the Colonies, munitions makers, gunsmiths, etc.
This is one of the lousiest overnight threads I've seen yet. You all fail, especially Becks.
My nieces' applications for the DAR would be impacted by some circumstantial evidence that our American Revolutionary ancestor was a deserter. Apparently that line of the family spent part of a generation in Quebec after the war.
She also instilled in me the belief--one that persisted until college--that, from his deathbed, Davy Crockett threw a knife that pierced two of Santana's Mexicans.
Which ones?
Getting a look at Ben's facebook profile, I found that he was the man of my dreams. Until I saw Sunn O))). Why do you tease me so, w-lfs-n?
And how many people are actually in those American Revolution clubs? Seems like a lot of people should be able to prove some ancestry, it's only a question of why you would bother.
BTW, Santana is the cheesy musician, no? Santa Ana was the villainous moustache-twisting Mexican general.
Why has this thread not resulted in teh hot sex for Ben?
Who said it hasn't? Look, just walking around with w-lfs-n is tantamount to teh hot sex with any other man. Knowing that he is out there walking around by himself is practically foreplay.
79: Insufficently interesting / lurid / titillating / intellectually stimulating. Something better needs to be put up around 10 - 12 PST, or the commenter needs to put forth more of an effort to entertain me. When I'm feeling like doing a bit of self-harm and staying up until 7 am, I need something... more to distract myself.
85: Because we really are all just words on a screen.
90: On the internet, nobody knows you're a simplistic phrase aggregator.
85: 'Cause anyone capable of hot sex is headed to Louisiana with their cameras.
