Re: Bogus!

1

Is there something you can give her private lessons in?

Or is this actually about the swimming?


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:43 PM
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Is there something you can give her private lessons in?

Like a BED?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:45 PM
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(A Butt-Emitting Diode, that is.)


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:46 PM
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There's no other solution but to move to Sweden, I'm afraid.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:46 PM
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You could always send her poorly written, vaguely threatening emails asking her to reconsider.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:48 PM
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Will she give you impersonal lessons?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:49 PM
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Everyone else just makes do with the instructors at the Y, snobby.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:50 PM
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Millsy, I got an email from the Swede a couple of days ago (since she doesn't actually live in Sweden) that said that she went swimming a couple of weeks ago and nearly drowned. Hyperbole, yes, but I'm pretty sure she hadn't swum since she swam with me. Laziest Olympian ever!


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:51 PM
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I think that means she needs you.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:54 PM
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We were so good together!


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:55 PM
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Wait, how many lessons have you taken?


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:57 PM
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Is this a trick question, cerebrocrat?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:58 PM
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8: Was she trying to swim to Scotland or something?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:01 PM
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Before you comment, B, ask yourself: will I be adding value?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:02 PM
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Nah. The meds mean I no longer worry about such piffle.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:03 PM
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Tricky of you to answer with a question.

I was trying to determine what sort of swimming lessons these were.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:04 PM
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ogged's doing the swimming equivalent of taking up figure skating at 35 and paying $150 a week for a coach so you can eventually learn, after three years, how to do a shaky single toe loop.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:07 PM
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(A Butt-Emitting Diode, that is.)

LAUGH


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:09 PM
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17: That is, he's trying to do that, but he can't find any famous swimmers to coach him. Poor ogged.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:09 PM
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Surely there are other Olympians? Or at least college swim coaches?

(frankly, swimmers generally make horrible coaches, because they tend to fall back on "well, you sort of hold your hand to grip the water, then you kick at the right time, and use your obliques a lot")

17: Don't mock the older man taking extravagant lessons. It's something to be encouraged!


Posted by: Jake | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:10 PM
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The thread linked in 18 is pathetic. Of *course* "Sophia" = Loren, and not Coppola. It's Sofia Coppola.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:17 PM
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17: Thanks eversomuch for cutting to the chase, Cala. That's exactly what I was after.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:19 PM
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The thread linked in 18 is pathetic.

WELCOME TO OUR ITCHPHD


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:24 PM
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17 is totally wrong. What I want to do is a better single toe loop than the other old guys who took it up at 35.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:24 PM
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swimmers generally make horrible coaches

I would have thought the same thing, but it worked really well with the Swede, since what I really need is to see something done correctly and can generally imitate it pretty well. So she'd say "you're doing this wrong" and I'd ask to show me the proper way and we'd go from there. It's the "swim like a fish" "it's like you're making an 's'" stuff that screws me up.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:28 PM
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Unfogged Richmond meet?

Post a youtube video of you swimming. I'll give you pointers. The new method of lessons: the internet.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:37 PM
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26: Worst pornographer scam ever.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:37 PM
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Haha. In all seriousness... a local assistant coach looking to get some practice coaching and extra cash might be a good place to start, because that person is seriously into coaching rather than just a very gifted swimmer.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:38 PM
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Forget the making an S thought. It will screw you up. Keep it simple:
head down
Snap top hip down
concentrate on catch
front quadrant swimming


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:38 PM
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Not to be serious or anything, but have you asked her whether there is any other coach she'd recommend? That would be my first move.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:39 PM
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Sifu:

On a related note, a guy just got busted here for passing out copies of a sex video with an ex-gf.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:40 PM
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I know what I'm supposed to do, will. It's a matter of being told how I'm off and seeing it done correctly.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:40 PM
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31: He should've used Red Clouds.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:40 PM
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red clouds?

Post the video ogged.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:41 PM
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have you asked her whether there is any other coach she'd recommend?

I haven't spoken to her directly; an assistant at the place she coaches called and said she's only doing clinics now and that I could sign up for one of those. I'll have to look for another coach; the problem is knowing in advance who's any good.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:43 PM
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the good thing about clinics is that you often get video taped. That is vital for improving


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:45 PM
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You're like my pushy swim boyfriend, will.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:45 PM
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A good coach is not afraid to mock, threaten or harass.

Now post the video and I will critique you.

Have you ever watched yourself on video? (asked in my best Airplane voice)

In all seriousness, it is incredibly helpful.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:55 PM
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39

I have a good idea for a game. It's called, "Who went to high school with All/ison Wag/ner?"


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:55 PM
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I was actually referring to the Swedish grad student in 4, and so when you said in 8 that she'd e-mailed you, I got a little excited for you for just a second.

Alas.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:56 PM
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I'm sure it's very helpful, but no, I've never been videotaped. Maybe I'll find a clinic where they do it, or have a friend do it. But right now, I need an Alli/son Wag/ner replacement. Maybe heebie-geebie could be it.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:57 PM
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I was actually referring to the Swedish grad student in 4

No, you weren't.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:59 PM
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39: Nah, let's play "Whose uncle is a famous sociologist?" instead.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:00 PM
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I've never been videotaped

Not swimming, anyway.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:01 PM
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42: No, seriously, I was.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:02 PM
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I wonder who went to heebie's high school.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:02 PM
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Oooh! Oooh! Pick me! Pick me!

Both to 43 and 41.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:02 PM
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48

How about we play "who recently saw a famous autistic animal psychologist not once but twice in airplane-related situations?"


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:04 PM
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49

Tem/ple Gran/din? Awesome!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:04 PM
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No, seriously, I was.

Don't make me drag bitchphd in here to tell you that authorial intent is dead.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:07 PM
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How far are you from Walnut Creek? Kerry O'Brien is excellent. I coached a clinic with him and he was excellent.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:07 PM
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I mentioned one of the instances on Unfogged. Neither was very exciting.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:07 PM
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How far are you from Walnut Creek?

A bit too far, but maybe he knows people closer to me.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:11 PM
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Call Kerry. He is excellent and knows a lot of folks.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:13 PM
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Ok, lemme see if I can find a number for him. Shall I say you recommended him?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:13 PM
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Ok, I found his email address; that'll do.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:14 PM
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44: I mean literarily... they are looking for my ass.

Literarily? Is this a typo, or is there something I don't understand?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:15 PM
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Tell him some guy from Richmond recommended him. He knows the other coach much better than me.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:16 PM
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Ok, will do. Thanks.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:17 PM
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Isn't there some kind of rule against happy endings and successful blegs here?


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:32 PM
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Don't worry, John, I'm sure this guy is planning his move to Sweden as we speak.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:38 PM
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rule against happy endings

Haters gotta hate, huh?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:39 PM
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Why are people so cruel and dismissive toward haters?


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:39 PM
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"Haters gotta hate, huh?" s/b "That's what Althusser said."


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:40 PM
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Despite the fact that I'm just as grumpy as Althusser, he's not one of my icons. It's not like there's this brotherhood of grumpy old men.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:42 PM
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60: Maybe the problem is you've been asking the girls for those.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:44 PM
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I stopped long ago, B.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:45 PM
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I was going for the massage meaning of happy endings, there. I assumed none of us have to love Althusser to know he murdered his wife while giving her a massage.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:46 PM
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65: Nonsense!


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:46 PM
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68:.... which is to say that joke was at least two too many steps away from the phrase "happy endings" to be funny.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:47 PM
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Actually, I mistook Althusser for Adorno. But Althusser is also is not one of my icons.

I have read part of Althusser's autobiography, and it's hilarious. he should have gone nuts decades earlier.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:51 PM
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I think I get it. I still use the Victorian meaning of "happy ending".


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:53 PM
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70: AHEM. 66?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:53 PM
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Thank you, B. I've been having reloading issues and getting frustrated.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:58 PM
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I think I get it. I still use the Victorian meaning of "happy ending".

An indicator that a thing is fiction?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 8:00 PM
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I suppose that reinterpreting Dickens and Jane Austen novels according to this new paradigm will soon be a growth industry. "All of Dickes' novels have happy endings, but ______ fills the entire room with jism.

The Happy Fun Page may be needed.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 8:02 PM
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I've been having reloading issues and getting frustrated.

Who's the lucky guy?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 8:06 PM
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"Thank you, B. I've been having reloading issues and getting frustrated."

AWB:

Me too, ever since I turned 35.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 8:07 PM
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pwnn by heebie


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 8:07 PM
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Unfogged should have a comment speedometer. I just saw this thread had moved from 50 to 75 comments in an hour, and thought, "Hm, I should take a look."


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 8:08 PM
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77: Oof. I may be single, but at least I don't have to deal with that anymore.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 8:08 PM
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76 comments already, and no one's pointed out that since you won't be her student, no ethical issues stand in the way of your sleeping with her? These people aren't your friends, Ogged.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 8:10 PM
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Perhaps we're looking out for Allison.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 8:12 PM
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Like I said.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 8:20 PM
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Hey, no fair on the sociology teasing.


Posted by: Kier/an | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 8:21 PM
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You mean 43? Er/ik O/lin W/right.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 8:47 PM
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Kewl.


Posted by: Kier/an | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 8:56 PM
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I win!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 8:57 PM
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And M/ills is C/ W/right M/ills? What are they, cousins?


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 9:01 PM
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No, he's my uncle, not Millsy's.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 9:02 PM
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But Erik and C. Wright? Cousins on mother's side?


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 9:04 PM
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Who is C. Wright? (Besides my mom's maiden name. But who do you mean?)


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 9:06 PM
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C. Wright Mills.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 9:08 PM
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Oh. C. Wright Mills and Er/ik O/lin W/right are definitely not related.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 9:11 PM
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What about the Olin Library in Mills college? We need to get to the bottom of this.

What about Olan Mills the artist? Or Olin Mills?


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 10:47 PM
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We need to get to the bottom of this.

Bottom-feeder.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 10:48 PM
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Yeah, quit carping on the Millses.


Posted by: DaveL | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 10:56 PM
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Olin' Mills y'all, rollin' stalkz on the shaz, keep it dirty, shaz, keep tha Millz on tha Riz


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 11:48 PM
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Damn, heebie, you always win that game. I suggest we should play "whose brother is a famous musician?" next.

Also, my grandfather's name was Olen Mills.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 04-18-07 12:35 PM
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What about C. Wright? (Do-right's brother, right?)


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-18-07 12:43 PM
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My second cousin once removed was the first Libertarian Presidential candidate (John Hospers). Unfortunately, I can't stand those guys.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-18-07 12:45 PM
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It's a good thing you had him removed, then.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-18-07 4:34 PM
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