Re: You didn't have to send me suggestive bar towels, but you did, and I thank you

1

They fit right in!

ATM.


Posted by: sam k | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 11:36 AM
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Are bar towels like dishrags?


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 11:47 AM
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3

No picture? It's like you're just phoning it in, Labs.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 11:51 AM
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4

Is this the game where we ply Stax-Volt lyrics to best effect? Then I say to you, dry, Sally, dry.


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 12:14 PM
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5

But now that you left me / Ooh how I dried out, I keep drying.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 12:56 PM
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6

Surely the donor is going to step forward and identify himself? An anonymous pseud-to-pseud gift is weird. Unless?? No, the thought is too terrible even to entertain momentarily...


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 12:58 PM
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7

You don't miss your water 'til your towel gets wrung out.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:00 PM
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8

6 is a lame attempt by Brock to draw suspicion away from himself.


Posted by: Clownaesthesiologist | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:02 PM
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9

J'accuse!


Posted by: Clownaesthesiologist | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:02 PM
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10

Sittin' on the cock of the Labs
Soakin' up ooze from the scabs
Oooo-wee, sittin' on the cock of the Labs
Wastin' time


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:03 PM
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11

I'm laughing, but that's so gross, apo.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:05 PM
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12

Yeah, I'd like to apologize for that.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:06 PM
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13

Holy shit: A partner at my firm just walked into my office and in the course of our conversation began starting pointedly at my monitor (which had been opened to an innocent blank page on his arrival), and then asked me why I had "masturbate" in the search box of my google toolbar. I really wasn't sure of the appropriate response; I told him it wasn't what it looked like, I was just searching for some information. We continued our conversation, awkwardly.

I hope you know this is your collective fault.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:15 PM
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Sure, society is to blame for your crimes, BL. Methinks it is the other way around.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:17 PM
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I was just searching for some information

"See, this guy at church told me that if you rub yourself really fast in just the right spot, you make manmilk."


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:17 PM
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16

A blank page is never innocent.


Posted by: neil | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:19 PM
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No really, I was searching for an old comment earlier (in order to link in a new comment). That's how it got there. (Although I'm not sure how/why the rest of the search string disappeared. The google toolbar literally just said "masturbate".)

I'm really a bit worried right now.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:19 PM
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Save your lies for court, Brock.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:20 PM
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I'm really a bit worried right now.

I find masturbating helps ease my mind at times like these, Brock.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:21 PM
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20

Cry, cry, masturbate, pack up your stuff.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:24 PM
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21

17: Could "case-related research" be an appropriate excuse/explanation?


Posted by: My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:27 PM
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then asked me why I had "masturbate" in the search box of my Google tool bar.

"Oh, right. As if you've never googled "masturbate" before."


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:28 PM
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23

20 might just win the blog.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:29 PM
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21: I think, at this point, providing any explanation would seem rather dubious. "Oh, hey, uh, so, I just wanted you to know why, ha ha, 'masturbate' was in my search window. Ha ha. The thing is, it's a funny story, uh..."


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:29 PM
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13: Mine says "argyria", which will be taken as a Japanese sock fetish if anyone peeks. However, most of the IT dept here has worked in the pron industry before descending into plain old corporate evil.

And if you're really worried, good luck.


Posted by: Biohazard | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:29 PM
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Comment #16 was sponsored by Mark Foley.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:31 PM
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If my brain wasn't shot from lack of sleep, I'd have just signed that last comment Mark Foley, and said "16 gets it exactly right."

Alas.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:32 PM
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16 ha ha ur so right lol


Posted by: Mark Foley | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:33 PM
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24 to 27.


Posted by: DaveL | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:34 PM
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30

So was # 20.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:34 PM
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31

shot from lack of sleep

What does this mean to you, three hours a night?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:34 PM
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32

Ah, poor Brock. I giggle, sympathetically.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:36 PM
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33

This means Noah decided that 3 am was time for everybody to wake up and play, and it took over two hours to convince him otherwise.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:37 PM
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You guys, I'm really sick and need to go home, but I'm stuck at work observing a researching student in the library. She seems to be unperturbed by my coughing. I feel bad telling her to pack it up because I need to cough in private, so I'm just sitting here answering her questions and trying not to be mean or forbidding, but good God, I want to go home.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:38 PM
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I'm sure he's been an absolute nightmare at daycare today.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:38 PM
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observing a researching student in the library

What does this mean?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:39 PM
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unperturbed by my coughing [...] I need to cough in private

You misspelled masturbate.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:39 PM
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I work in a special collection, so it's not like she can look at the books without me. I have to lock them up.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:39 PM
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And it's exciting that she cares about all this stuff. I'm kind of mentoring her on a few projects. She wants to do a thesis on stuff we have in the collection. All this is good for me and my job. So I shouldn't kick her out. I just don't want to be here doing this until 7.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:41 PM
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7 s/b "You don't miss your water, till your towel's wrung dry."


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:43 PM
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Fuck it.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:45 PM
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That's the spirit, Brock.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:45 PM
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43

Got it. So tell her that you can't stay late today.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:46 PM
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Rather, tell her, "I'd love to stay late with you, but I masturbated a lot as a kid."


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:47 PM
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Next time that partner comes to your desk, make sure the text "How to kill nosy coworkers" is in your toolbar.


Posted by: neil | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:48 PM
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33: At some point during the first kid's first several years, WE woke him from a sound sleep at 3am to party as a payback for all the times he'd done it to us. There was no joy, he was puzzled but delighted. You can't win.


Posted by: Biohazard | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:50 PM
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There was no joy, he was puzzled but delighted.

Not only a sadist, but an incompetent one too. How terribly sad.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:55 PM
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48

33: Duct tape is your friend.


Posted by: DaveL | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 1:59 PM
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49

"Mop it up, I'll take it."


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 2:02 PM
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She left! She left! Yay! I'm going home.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 2:05 PM
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51

"Hold the towel, I'm coming."


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 2:14 PM
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52

I'm trying to decide what part of this is most disturbing.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 2:16 PM
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52: That a large & culturally significant country has large numbers of people who can't tell a sheep from a dog? How would our country fare? I'd know, but I'm not the target market.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 2:20 PM
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54

52: That Frank Zappa had already predicted it?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 2:24 PM
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How did I not see that when you posted it, apo? I read your blog. I feel so dumb now.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 2:27 PM
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It has to be a hoax. I'll believe a lot of things, but not that anyone could confuse a sheep and a dog. The feet alone, let alone the teeth... you'd have to be brain-damaged or simply never have seen either animal.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 2:30 PM
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I only posted it this morning. Don't know why you'd feel dumb for seeing it elsewhere first.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 2:30 PM
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58

All this time I thought the Japanese were supposed to be into pseudopoods.


Posted by: soubzriquet | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 2:31 PM
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or simply never have seen either animal.

Always a possibility. No sheep in Japan, and if poodles are that damned expensive, there probably aren't many of them either.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 2:32 PM
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55 -- not only that, I posted it in comments here (and in doing so, won Ben w-lfs-n's thread about the Brandenburg Concertos).


Posted by: Clownaesthesiologist | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 2:33 PM
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No sheep in Japan, and if poodles are that damned expensive, there probably aren't many of them either.

But... hooves? Dogs don't have those. You don't have to see a poodle to know that.



Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 2:37 PM
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There are Japanese dogs.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 2:45 PM
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I will assume the actress mentioned is blond and not Google her.


Posted by: Biohazard | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 2:46 PM
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There are provocative photos of her linked at Apostropher's site.


Posted by: Clownaesthesiologist | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 2:48 PM
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I did some hoax-sniffing on Japanese blogs and the results were inconclusive. (If anyone reads Japanese better than Google Translate, go to apo's place where I left the links.) The incident with the actress on TV has got to be verifiable, though, doesn't it?


Posted by: neil | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 2:48 PM
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provocative

tittilating, even.


Posted by: Clownaesthesiologist | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 2:48 PM
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You are welcome, Mr. Labs. I saw them, and, well, they kinda had your name on 'em. How could I not?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 11:45 PM
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68

Well that was anticlimactic.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 11:46 PM
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69

I apologize for not helping you climax, Teo.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 11:48 PM
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Apology accepted.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04-26-07 11:49 PM
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It's bitchphd! Is it bitchphd? No? Look closer. There! It was bitchphd all along.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 04-27-07 12:11 AM
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