Re: Quickies

1

4. WTF?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 8:11 AM
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What is that? It looks unwise to click through at work.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 8:13 AM
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Perfectly work-safe. No idea why it gets the warning, other than it being a baby playing with an angry cobra.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 8:15 AM
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2: Indian (I'm guessing) near infant with (what must be) a defanged cobra. That keeps "striking" the kid. As the parents laugh in the background. Weird.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 8:16 AM
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Oh, poor cobra. It must be defanged. But they shouldn't be letting that baby harass it like that.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 8:17 AM
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1. Oh, it's just industry people. They're all like that. Just be glad he didn't have a chorus of Morris dancers with him.
2. It does seem a bit much to claim that the sex is consensual, and then not be vegetarian.
3. Don't get me started on genital warts! Actually, the "allowing benefits will help people get treatment" rationale makes more sense than many other items in the defense budget. The amount that the government has wasted on non-starter weapons programs covers a multitude of warts.


Posted by: minneapolitan | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 8:19 AM
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When cobras are outlawed, only outlaw babies will hug cobras.


Posted by: minneapolitan | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 8:21 AM
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Saletan's article made me wince -- I have this unpleasant suspicion that I'm going to see it dragged out in the future as evidence that feminists hate men.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 8:22 AM
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9

My quickie for the morning.

Spiderman 3 really blows.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 8:24 AM
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Ian was a bad-boy motorcycle-riding tattooed lawyer/poet/chef who proposed to me on a beach at sunset riding a white horse and dressed as a knight.

Why stop there? ... dressed as a knight having just parachuted (with the horse) out of a C-130 returning from a special forces mission, with a set of surgical scrubs stuffed in his saddlebag in case the beeper indicating the liver transplant team needed his expert assistance went off. Unfortunately when he went down on one knee his lance poked my eye out.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 8:26 AM
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9: Clearly I will have to have a drink or two before I see it this afternoon then.


Posted by: minneapolitan | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 8:26 AM
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10: Unfortunately when he went down on one knee his lance poked my eye out.

Now, that's just bragging!


Posted by: minneapolitan | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 8:27 AM
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Why stop there?

Because the rest of your addition is bad-assed, while dressing like a knight is somewhere along the lines of proposing in Klingon.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 8:28 AM
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Is the cobra really defanged or just being friendly? It looks like it might just be trying to warn the kid. The same way my dog does when harrassed by toddlers -- trying to do everything it can to say "please get the fuck away from me" without actually hurting anyone.

But maybe cobras aren't as friendly as dogs? But I don't know about those Indian cobras... some of them are like pets.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 8:33 AM
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alif sikkiin and I actually saw the documentary reviewed in 2 a couple of weeks ago. It was good but (obviously) a little disturbing. Beautifully shot, too. But it makes everybody on the internet seem like, well, someone who would have sex with a horse.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 8:34 AM
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The best part:

SPOILER ALERT

When animal control tried to rescue one of the horses and were loading it into the carrier, a pony ran up from out of nowhere and started giving the horse a BJ. This is not on film but still the description of it is completely OMGWTF??!?


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 8:35 AM
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ummmm, not like pets. or at least, not friendly.


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 8:36 AM
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"Ian was a bad-boy motorcycle-riding tattooed lawyer/poet/chef who proposed to me on a beach at sunset riding a white horse and dressed as a knight not just a twit, but a parody of a twit."


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 8:38 AM
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17 to 14. there are still lots of cobras and stuff here in narnia, which dampens my ardor for an actual house with yard. there's special snake control cops you can call to come shoot them, though. 16: OMGWTF??!? indeed.


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 8:39 AM
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Why must Modern Love divide paragraphs into bits of two or three sentences? It doesn't make it more dramatic.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 8:39 AM
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That video could be the childhood scene from a South Asian superhero movie: impervious to their venom, he treated cobras as his playthings...


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 8:43 AM
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B--but they dance! I can't even teach my dogs to dance.

Defanging a cobra is totally cheating.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 8:44 AM
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there's special snake control cops you can call to come shoot them, though.

Maybe they're better at it in Narnia, but when we lived in Karachi and we thought a big snake had gone up our storm drain (turned out to be a humungous monitor lizard), we rang the snake control people and they more or less said, "What do you expect us to do about it?"

My mother asked what they suggested. Pause for thought, then, "You could try a snake charmer."

Mum: "Where do I find one of those?"

Snake control official: "I don't know, they just wander about."


Posted by: OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 8:48 AM
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H's statement, "Once a year we did a turkey and a ham" is extremely funny in context.


Posted by: Clownaesthesiologist | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 8:57 AM
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You noticed that, too? I was also surprised. They're not screwing the animals. Why do these horses all keep humping my ass?

--
You know, the vets' headline is sort of misleading. The guy drawing disability for the emotional distress of having penile warts seems like a golddigger, but everyone else isn't claiming for having had gonorrhea 25 years ago, but for the lingering health effects of it, right?


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 9:36 AM
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23: Wow. What did you do? I'm seriously curious.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 9:42 AM
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Bestiality note: The first juvenile to be executed in the American colonies, 16 or 17-year old Thomas Graunger, was hung for bestiality in 1642. His "partners" included a turkey.


Posted by: minneapolitan | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 9:45 AM
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Gobble, gobble!


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 9:49 AM
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"A horse "has no idea what Tolstoy is, or Keats," he explains. "You can't discuss the difference between Monet and Picasso......"

For some, the Happy Horseman recalls, going there meant, "I don't have to really deal with relationships."

I think I'll give up my attempts at humor on this topic. I'm wondering whether Stephen Glass has started ghosting for Saletan.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 9:56 AM
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26: Total anti-climax. My mother rang a few neighbours to see if they had any advice (no), while I went through the phone directory looking for anybody like a snake charmer (none). By that time the lizard had emerged from the drain and was obviously not a cobra, so everybody relaxed and it wandered off.


Posted by: OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 9:56 AM
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Anybody else (besides me and Fark) find the choice of picture to accompany this article odd?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 9:59 AM
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Though if you go to the associated slideshow, image #7 is the winner.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 10:01 AM
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30: Anti-climax, sure, but I'm still glad to have my curiosity satisfied.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 10:02 AM
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31: No, I'm into bestiality more than ephebes.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 10:07 AM
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Or nymphets.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 10:07 AM
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32 is accurate.


Posted by: Clownaesthesiologist | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 10:21 AM
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Holy moly, those photos.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 10:21 AM
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Image #7. I humbly suggest this should be the new banner image.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 10:29 AM
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Be honest now: "BESTiality" or "BEESTiality"? Even the most permissive dictionaries list the former first, but it sounds horribly affected to my ears, which are provincial and Southern,.


Posted by: Jonathan | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 10:32 AM
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I say "BESTiality." I'm not sure why I've had occasion to say it, but I have.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 10:38 AM
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not sure why I've had occasion to say it

Correcting the arresting officer.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 10:39 AM
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32: Those remind me of some photos my wife took in Paris a few years ago. It was a bleak New Year's morning, there was trash strewn everywhere from the night before; suddenly on a street down the steps from Sacre-Coeur there materialized a cheerleading team from Wisconsin, who immediately went into formation and did a routine. Ionesco would have wept.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 10:41 AM
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38: That's FL in back there, right?


Posted by: Clownaesthesiologist | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 10:55 AM
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Unfogged: putting the "best" in beastiality


Posted by: Clownaesthesiologist | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 10:56 AM
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Bestiality is best. Mnemonic.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 11:05 AM
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I'm not sure why I've had occasion to say it, but I have.

Telling somebody the story about Friedrich Wilhelm I and the cavalry officer?


Posted by: OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 1:41 PM
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There really needs to be a moratorium on commenting on Modern Love. It only encourages the NYT to print more of them.

Unless, of course, Ogged is willing to submit one about his near-dating experiences with Teva-hating women, and how, spurned in love and hippie casual footwear, he eventually broke up Ms Chupack's marriage by seducing her white-horse-riding spouse into a lifetime of depraved bestiality.


Posted by: DominEditrix | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 4:02 PM
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Anyone else get the impression that Cindy Chupack wandered around parties wailing, "I married a gay man! Pity me! PITY MEEEE!"

They've already printed at least two essays from Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys; we're probably in for at least two or three more.


Posted by: Magpie | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 5:39 PM
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I dunno, I actually thought this was pretty good by ML standards. The quote Becks pulled and the line in which she revealed she worked for "Sex and the City" both made me wince, but other than that I thought it was largely fine. She certainly displays some genuine concern for how others feel, and unlike many ML contributors, her prose style doesn't scream "Look at me! I'm a writer!"


Posted by: JGO | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 9:46 PM
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I still don't plan on pre-ordering GWLBWLB, though.


Posted by: JGO | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 9:48 PM
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OT, this is kind of neat.


Posted by: JGO | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 9:52 PM
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"I'm gonna catch that horse if I can
And when I do I'll give her my brand
And we'll be friends for life
She'll be just like a wife
I'm gonna catch that horse if I can."
("The Chestnut Mare," The Byrds, 1970)


Posted by: David | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 10:04 PM
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Why are all horse songs so awful? Wildfire! Horse With No Name? Wild Horses!


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 11:31 PM
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Excuse me? Tennessee Stud?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 11:37 PM
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54: how many times have I said that, damn.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 05- 7-07 11:39 PM
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Of the Saletan piece on men getting porked by horses, I wonder why their wives won't wear strap-ons for 'em. Cucumbers turn green inside after a month.


Posted by: David | Link to this comment | 05- 8-07 12:27 AM
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Yes, Ben?


Posted by: Tennessee Stud | Link to this comment | 05- 8-07 12:34 AM
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I've never seen a horse like you, TS.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 05- 8-07 12:41 AM
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Weird that they classify these bestiality victims as either "pit bull" or "non-pit bull." What does it matter when they're dead anyway?


Posted by: Wade | Link to this comment | 05- 8-07 1:11 AM
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Ian was a bad-boy motorcycle-riding tattooed lawyer/poet/chef

show me a "bad boy motorcycle-riding tattoed lawyer/poet/chef" and I'll show you a lawyer.


Posted by: dsquared | Link to this comment | 05- 8-07 1:16 AM
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60 wins all lawyer threads, retroactive, pro-rated.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 05- 8-07 1:18 AM
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Bay County Circuit Judge Joseph K. Sheeran ruled Friday that even though Michigan law does not explicitly define sex with a dead dog as a crime, charges against a Saginaw man will stand.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 05- 8-07 5:32 AM
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Lileks was just a name to me; the style parodied in 10 is familiar to me but probably not unique to him. I guess I don't understand why one would read enough of that to be familiar with it. But it may be an age thing; when neocons started to be carried as columnists I read them for awhile, even though hating and being able to predict their every word.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 05- 8-07 5:42 AM
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53 -- "Skewball" is a fine song if you ignore Dan Fogelburg's recording of it.


Posted by: Clownaesthesiologist | Link to this comment | 05- 8-07 6:39 AM
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Do you mean Stewball: "Ol' Stewball was a racehorse, and I wish he was mine..."?

That one used to be in the kids' lullaby rotation.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 8-07 7:37 AM
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Yeah, I mean that. Both titles are used, both are mispronunciations of "skewbald" which I think is a horse coloring scheme.


Posted by: Clownaesthesiologist | Link to this comment | 05- 8-07 7:41 AM
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horse coloring scheme

Yes, skewbald and piebald, both of which sound dirty but aren't.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05- 8-07 7:45 AM
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Wait. I thought the racehorse was named "Screwball". He never drank water, right?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05- 8-07 7:49 AM
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Here is a list of variant lyrics for the song. And info about the real horse who inspired the song.


Posted by: Clownaesthesiologist | Link to this comment | 05- 8-07 7:52 AM
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I went to the horse track for the first time on Saturday. I did not win, until I found the quarter machine that guaranteed you candy with every grab of the metal claw.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05- 8-07 7:58 AM
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