No fucking way. Really? I heart the Internet.
Hey, that's one of the few negatives that doesn't apply to me. Sweet!
Too awesome. You ought to propose by e-mail immediately. I'm just under 50% serious.
That's absolutely wonderful. If she found the original post, she's probably reading this, and should say hi.
This may be unrelated to this site. I mean, apart from its associations with this blog, who here would actually find calling oneself "Ogged" an attractive quality?
It's like a pre-emptive cockblock. Man, I'm tearing up right now.
And by "serious," I mean that I'm just under 50% that the proposal should be serious. I'm 100% that you should immediately propose from the ogged-at-unfogged.com e-mail address.
She definately wants you. Remember, we call you Ogged, your mom doesn't. (Does she?)
No no, make up a gmail account as someone whose actual name is Ogged, with an incomprehensible ethnic last name, and try to get her banned from the site for racism.
see, ladies, the male psyche in the wild. I too immediately thought on reading this post "hey, I bet that means that she wants him really".
Whereas a close textual analysis of the words she used provides at least as much evidence for the opposite interpretation.
Oh my god. That's the best thing ever.
And the great thing is that you've probably cockblocked her, too. Other guys are going to read her post, think she's nuts, and not respond.
You're like a magical anti-matchmaker.
That's as cute as kittens. Or ponies. Or kitten-riding ponies.
Ask her out, dude.
Doesn't this mean that she reads the site?
This woman is a menace. She shows no remorse for her actions.
If it's a commenter here who started the whole personal post as a joke trolling for ogged, please say so. It isn't fair to let me believe in a world so beautiful, if that belief is only, inevitably, going to be ripped away at some later date.
Basically, at this point, I'm planning on holding out--if, however unlikely, that's necessary--until I can meet a woman who is at least half so awesome.
Am I right? Am I right someone here hurt/disrespected/treated badly by this woman?
Please help me.
If this woman comments here, I'll give her a check for one million dollars American.
Will you go out with me? I don't call myself "ogged," and though 4,000 balding 47-year-old men call me that, they're equally likely to call me a polytheist infidel.
I'll shave off my goatee, I promise.
♥ not-ogged
19: No, if she read the site then she'd have known not to violate the sanctity of off-blog communications.
I can see the New York Times "Vows" section writeup already. "You call yourself 'Ogged' ... The bride wore Tevas," etc.
What's the point, SCMT? Your pessimism is boundless. If I tell you this is legit, as seems to be, you're just going to say she must be on steroids.
I'm off to swim. Y'all try not to cockblock me all to hell before I get back, ok?
How can you go swimming at a time like this?
if she read the site then she'd have known not to violate the sanctity of off-blog communications.
That still leaves w-lfs-n and B.
So beautiful, it more than makes up for that hateful Den Beste thing someone made me read this morning.
"Highly unlikely" still contains a world of possibilities.
Ogged, I'm listening to "God Only Knows", and before you go, I must mention you don't have a soul.
If one of our regulars baited Ogged with a fake personal, that's pretty awesome. But if it just so happened that this is real, and the woman saw the original post...awesome beyond words. That woman should email her phone number so I can send her drunk text messages.
"No no, make up a gmail account as someone whose actual name is Ogged, with an incomprehensible ethnic last name, and try to get her banned from the site for racism."
Not funny at all Ned, in many ways. One needs no PhD to grasp this one.
Too beautiful. Tremendous, Phillipe-of-Achewood-style huuuuuuugs to that woman.
im in ur personal ad cockblocking ur suitorz.
No way! No way this is true. I don't believe it.
Clearly there's only one thing to do, Ogged. You should post your own ad about how you could never date anyone who has ever misspelled "sandal." She'll be on your lap in a trice.
She can't possibly have been running searches that would lead her to the original post, can she? What kind of search terms would do that?
This woman is totally the future Mrs. Unf.
Ogged Vartapetyan is obviously Emerson.
What kind of search terms would do that?
The ad text itself? If ogged is quoting it verbatim, that is. Though doing the reverse, searching for the original ad, doesn't work.
Y'all try not to cockblock me all to hell before I get back, ok?
Like any of us can cockblock you half as effectively as you autocockblock.
Does the present Mrs. Unf know?
Look, isn't it obvious? Somebody found her profile and sent her a message tipping her to the blogs. It was probably Labs, that dirty sneak.
(Also, ogged didn't say that it wasn't him)
Could she see if sites are linking to her profile?
Very, very funny. Bit passive-aggressive though, she should have just come out in the comments and called you a Teva-wearing wanker.
The quotes make it clear -- she found the site randomly or through some random search, found the post about her profile, read it, and was seriously creeped out. There is no future cockblockage: the original post was completely sufficient in this respect. Pessimism and Despair are the Order of the Day.
Ms. Sandals!
If you are really reading along and following this, please, please email me. I was last year's version and it is no fun to get sucked into Unfogged this way. Ogged is very nice in person, so go out with him or not according to your preferences. But please email me so I can tell you more about Unfogged.
"Could she see if sites are linking to her profile?"
Oh, ignore me, I'm an idiot, he didn't. If I were to ever post a personal ad, I could imagine searching for excerpts of it to try to see whether anyone was talking about me. (Especially having read this blog.)
Could she see if sites are linking to her profile?
Certainly not if they don't link to it.
49, it's also possible that someone found her profile and has enlisted her in an effort to punk Ogged.
Ogged did say that she said she was spending her life "googling things," right? Obviously, her google-fu is strong enough to find non-linking blogs that are talking about her dating profile.
Ah, Ogged tipped her off. He's so vain about his long threads.
52: No, I can totally see that being serious. The Unfogged reaction to this sort of thing could all look very weird and uncomfortable to someone who wasn't braced for it. I could see having Megan say that we were harmless might be reassuring.
No. I'm not joking. You guys are all blog-savvy and used to it here, and you can't think what it is like to be introduced here as a potential date and be talked about by all you clever insiders. It is incredibly compelling so you can't turn away, and really strange to be an object of discussion here, and someone is guaranteed to shoot off his or her mouth. After a couple go-rounds, it sucks.
I'm really serious. Ms. Sandals, you should write me. The rest of you should leave her be.
Ogged has so much anti-game, he doesn't even need to talk to a woman to be cockblocked.
This is so awesome.
The rest of you should leave her be.
This is triple-reverse psychology or something, right?
Thanks Megan. I didn't know you were "last year's version".
Now it seems distinctly weird. Damn you Ogged, how dare you turn private citizens into public figures of fun.
Ms. Sandals, you should write me.
OK, IP check reveals that Ogged's been leaving these comments under Megan's name. Too clever by half, my swarthy friend.
I wouldn't say that you were harmless. You're charming, and some of you are very kind, and I liked those of you I've met. But there are also very real costs of getting involved here as a topic for discussion. (Keep in mind, Ogged's potential dates are discussed as people, not for the content of their posts or their political views or the way anyone else here is talked about. It is unlike any other role people play here.) I'd tell her to follow her choices for dating Ogged, but to stay far away from here.
i'm really confused, but i'm pretty sure all of this is awesome.
Ogged didn't mean to; a post of mine got linked by other posters; it gathered its own momentum. I don't think any one is at fault, but I think Unfogged gets up speed and forgets what it is like to encounter you guys. Most of it is harmless and funny. All of it is well-intentioned. Parts of it really sucked, and I wish someone had prepared me.
63: Huh. My recollection is that we were more or less uniformly positive about you, and inclined to take your side, if only by casting asperisons on ogged from the perspective of the fictive you. Does that not matter? (A serious question--I can imagine, just, that it might not.) I guess I thought it was more like being able to meet people ogged knew ahead of time, to get a (probably bad) sense of him, which struck me as uniformly good. Of course, I like the people here, and think that they reflect well on ogged, so I could be way off.
Anyway, I'm sorry for whatever part I played in whatever we subjected you to. (Again, said seriously.)
All of it is well-intentioned.
Except the Althouse posts. Though, honestly, that's who Ogged should be dating.
I don't even know what to say except that Ogged probably shouldn't blog about women he wants to date. The consequences seem pretty dire all around.
I am stunned by the power of the 'tubes, seriously.
Be careful of these people you don't know. The best thing to do is to unburden yourself to me, another person you don't know, and allow me to prepare you -- because I am not like them, trust me.
SCMT, you were pretty much great all along. But in all that endless speculating, someone says something thoughtless and that's what sticks. AND, I still believe that because I first showed up here as a topic of conversation, that carried through all of my interactions until I more or less left. (Obviously, less.)
Look, I like y'all. But if this is the annual spring rite of Ogged's someone showing up here, I have some stuff to tell 2007. (All of which, I want to re-emphasize, is not about Ogged.)
I thought 69 was hilarious. Whether this confirms or disconfirms 72 will be controversial.
Megan, I thought you were introduced here because someone commented on a blog post, not that you had posted a dating profile that ogged saw.
Though I think I agree with pretty much the rest of your sentiments. This place requires a higher level of lurking than most to get the sense of it, probably because half of the regulars go drinking together.
But in a chaste, hamster way.
This is true -- it gets confusing even for those of us who go drinking sometimes but not as regularly as others.
(And, Megan, I'm hoping I don't have anything to apologize for -- I know I did a lot of the linking to your posts. If I do, my apologies.)
OK -- I'm gathering that the profile amendment is not on craigslist but on some membership site, so we can't all look at it. (I was wondering why there'd been no verification.) But can someone at least direct us relative noob to the Megan files?
Of course, the last time I asked for an archive reference I got a fruit basket, so yes, I'm a glutton for punishment.
It took me a long time to figure out that you people (and remember, I love to refer to people as "you people") strive to seem snarkier and more judgemental than you in fact are. Now that I understand this, I find it sort of touching. ( Or perhaps I've just been assimilated.)
This was particularly confusing because in waking life most zine-makers and constant-writers-of-the-trivial that I've met are actually much less pleasant and kind than their work would imply.
Unfogged is really weird, though.
Actually, the googlearchives are pretty helpful on this score. I especially like the one with dad killing the robot.
Aw man, Wrongshore, it isn't worth it. Besides, you don't have to read last year's version. It is about to happen again.
We're good, LB. You don't have anything to apologize for. I'm not even sure anyone does. But the dynamic here is hard on people who are introduced like this.
Tevas-woman is actually being very sensitive here. The post that mentioned her profile led to a 425-comment thread, the last 420 of which were about men's fashion faux pas and didn't mention her at all.
Ironic that the one personals ad whose creator WASN'T picked apart here is the one who notices that she was linked.
Or perhaps I've just been assimilated.
The "perhaps" is the mark of successful assimilation .
Megan, are you talking about the M-Fun thread? I thought you had already been around here when that took place.
The internet is awesome.
Except when it makes Megan uncomfortable. That's not awesome.
84: Really? Is that all? I thought it was the mysterious mark that had appeared on my forearm. Ooooh, it's starting to hurt as I type.
83: You don't need to read the last 423 comments in that thread.
85: She's referring to an earlier thread. The archives will reveal it.
78->75
strive to seem snarkier and more judgemental than you in fact are
This is an important observation.
Ms. Sandals, it's not always that bad.
80: It's tremendously difficult for me sometimes because I am just awful at detecting sarcasm or subtext, differentiating between websnark and real-life attitudes, etc. I'm working on realizing that's my problem and no one else's though. (Not a comment directed at you in some weird, round-about way, just a nod of agreement.)
Also, Weiner's not around anymore to matchmake. Any girls who come around are surely safer now.
strive to seem snarkier and more judgemental than you in fact are
This is an important observation.
I thought you were all just doing it to impress me!
Miss 2005
Holy shit, you're right.
Megan, Tevas woman is clearly having a laugh about the situation. Maybe if she pulled down her profile in shock, she'd need your counseling. But c'mon.
Speaking of Weiner, I was just reading about a documentary set in Lubbock.
94: Pretty much. You, particularly, I'm glad you stuck around. I remember thinking when you first showed up that you fairly reasonably thought we were all jerks -- it was nice figuring from the fact that you continued to show up that the first impression didn't stick.
This is fantastic. She had me at "no Tevas"...but this!
That said, I was upset when you trashed my party all over the Internet, and my roommate did pledge publicly to throw you off a roof.
Kriston, what the hell. Your identity waffles!
What about them? I've always liked his personality crepes.
Revealed: Mark Steyn wears Tevas!
102: That was a very funny and memorable thread, and I, for one, thought Megan's observations (and the response here) were amusing and charming. But I also think her observations kind of disqualify her from suggesting that people here might be a bit insensitive.
Wow, now I totally want to go back in time and take the boyfriend quiz. Unfortunately, at the time I would have probably done well up until 10, where my answer would have been closer to 'c'.
81 - I was the robot.
91 and 96 - I'm in a pretty good position to know what it is like. Because it wasn't that bad from your perspective doesn't mean Ms. Sandals shouldn't hear what it is like to be introduced to Unfogged in this role.
101 - I wasn't even counting the party fiasco, which was more the same vein that it is OK to talk about Megan personally, because she was introduced as a topic of conversation.
And your roommate is welcome to try.
If only ogged and becks had actually gotten a house together, I might have someplace to live.
Ben, does this mean the apartment you were trying for fell through?
Megan, in the thread we never actually discussed her, besides Oggers saying "The real reason I'm not responding to her ad is that she plucks her eyebrows". It was probably a lot less disturbing than your experience.
And a fine swim it was!
I have no idea what Megan is on about, but it sounds like it might involve feelings. Banned!
I've been wondering how she found the original post. I didn't link to her profile and googling the terms didn't bring you here before she changed the spelling of "sandals," etc. Maybe she's a lurker. Or has a friend who reads the site.
Bit passive-aggressive though
Not at all. It shows a fabulous sense of humor. I commend this woman.
All the more reason why she shouldn't date Ogged, of course, ruthless sexist horrible bastard that he is.
Unless! What if she goes on a date with him and then guest blogs about it? That would be teh awesome.
God, I love this place. I wish I could contribute more, but man, I just love reading these comment threads after the fact.
Ogged, why the hating on eyebrow-plucking? I can understand not being a fan of overplucked eyebrows, but what's the problem with a little maintenance so a woman doesn't have that circa-1980 Brooke Shields look?
I was totally kidding about the eyebrow plucking; I thought it was an obviously unreasonable complaint, but that was a miscalculation.
What if she goes on a date with him and then guest blogs about it? That would be teh awesome.
Especially if she does turn out to be Labs!
Ogged should woo her, without ever letting her know his real pretend identity, then suddenly announce it on their 10th wedding anniversary.
117: Maybe that'll teach you, finally.
Hey, a girl can dream.
Also, while I'm reading the archives instead of WORKING AT MY JOB FOR WHICH PEOPLE CONTINUE TO PAY ME MONEY, who came up with French Market for an LA meetup location? Yee.
I have to say, there's a whole lot of Megan From The Archives in the archives. From the Megan. In the ... kazatchka! A highlights reel would be appreciated. Megan, you're a blogger: I trust you to link to your most profound moments of discomfort and ill-considered expression.
Speaking of being mean to strangers: RIP, Jacqueline Parker Posey Paisley blog.
I should think that "sandles" might have been a google trap, rather like the mistakes that mapmakers are meant to put in to their work.
On the other hand, I am almost certain that I passed a sign to "knob lick, missouri" in the early hours of a November morning in 2001. So maybe the whole state of Missouri is just there to detect copyright infringement among alien cartographers.
117: Too late ! Can't take it back now, although I can't blame you for trying.
Relevant analogs to the scheme in 118.2 have been suggested pretty regularly over the years, haven't they?
117: Waxing. I recommend waxing. Ogged, you are reportedly a hairy man. Start with the eyebrows, and if you like it, go for the chest.
Never shave your chest. This I learned the hard way. Shudder.
121: Ah, another opportunity for my Back In Time Dating Machine
121 - I saw that. That made me want to cry.
It's certainly turning out to be a complicated day in Unfoggedlandia.
110: Weren't you trying to move to SF? One of the roommates just announced that he'll be moving out mid-June. The place is in the Inner Sunset, though, which some people are kind of down on.
121: She was making $2k/month from that? Christ.
Jesus, I have to get a new computer so I don't waste my evening sitting in the office keeping up with all this. I could be wasting my evening, etc, in the comfort of my own home.
Btw, has the posts-and-comments feed changed at all in the last day or so? if not, bloglines are messing about. New comments are not showing up on existing posts (normally the whole thing refreshes every so often).
124 - probably, but it would still be a sweet revenge.
(Not that I harbour unfriendly thoughts towards No-Tevas Woman, I hasten to add.)
111: It hasn't fallen through, so far as I know; but I don't know very far, is the thing.
JGO: I need a place by mid-June! The inner sunset's kind of a long bike ride from fourth & king, though... HMMMM. This bears thinking about.
It has been pointed out to me that the comment above constitutes a certain amount of gift-horse mouth-looking. I don't mean it! All, all neighborhoods are worthy in my sight. Email me?
SF has always struck me as a difficult city to commute from, rather than commute to, almost regardless of where you live.
What's wrong w/ the inner sunset? Plenty of bubble tea and nowhere in SF is very far from anywhere else.
Yeah, it's def. not ideal if you need to Caltrain it, esp. now that the N doesn't go past Embarcadero. We're at 3rd and Hugo. The place is very grad student-chic. I don't know if I would want to live there if I had to go down the Peninsula everyday, but my commute tolerance is also lower than average.
135: I love the IS. Plenty of restaurants and the N's right there. Some of my classmates, however, knock it for the relative lack of sun in the summers, and some of the cool types like to live in the Mission.
So wait, am I the only one who feels rejected-by-association here?
Passey restores my faith in the free market.
So maybe she's right after all ....
Naah.
just to make what I might have hoped would be the fairly obvious point that a lot of the reason you don't have much sex is because you use words like "cockblocked".
141 -That will get you lots of dates.
Dsquared, as so often, is wise.
Must be because he's such a cunt.
The N doesn't go through any more, but can't you change at Embarcadero and take the T? Or just get out at Powell and walk.
Yeah, you can switch to the T, and I believe the J runs down there during rush hour as well.
Emailed you, ben, and facebooked you too. You look quite familiar. It seems we were at U of C at the same time.
I'm about to fall into the dsquared trap of starting to think about what he said, thus getting distracted and letting him punch me in the gut, but I think there are a lot of guys who use the word "cockblock" and get laid like there's no tomorrow. Many of them are in frats and wear stupid hats, but still.
ogged won't date much because if his bloggy persona is anything like his really persona, he's picky as hell.
147, I thought of that too, but it seemed too nitpicky.
OMFG I love everything about this blog. and teva-hater, if you're reading this, you are all kinds of awesome. I'm, like, tearing up about this Very Special Episode of unfogged.
I think there are a lot of guys who use the word "cockblock" and get laid like there's no tomorrow.
yes but they aren't you. Mike Tyson is a millionaire from having fights all the time and Lou Reed is a cultural icon for being a heroin addict, but if you or Ogged were to take up either of those pastimes, I would wait a few years and then sagely opine that they were the main cause of your problems.
Dsquared you are in a poor place to question the use of idioms by USAians among other USAians.
I'm sure you've had great success socially using words like "prat" and "bint", but I would have different results.
Have you been reading CT lately? The Welsh bit is all a puton -- dsquared is a Budweiser-drinking Oklahoman.
With a surprisingly vehement dislike for some place called "Wrexham."
I'm going to go the other way here, and credit the word 'cockblock' with all and any action Ogged's been seeing.
BW: I know several people who have done the commute to your place of education from the inner sunset. It's eminently doable, and the fast way to the caltrain station in the morning has always been to get out at powell and take a bus.
Dsquared's cockblocking this entire thread.
Dsquared as wingman:
You: some stupid, in jokey, cryptic munchloafery.
D^2: "Shorter You: Pithier version of same."
Date: "I'll take the wingman."
You: "Cockblocked again."
Has anybody noted the other Modern Love connection to this (not counting jerking off turtles)?
I'll admit it, I'm a sucker for a pretty face, and the Tiny House Man's face was very pretty, delicately featured yet masculine. Unfortunately it was bearded in the soul patch style, which can make any chin look vaguely pudendal, but that was nothing that a persuasive girlfriend and a lovingly applied coat of Nair couldn't eventually take care of.
So the Tiny House Man and I made plans for dinner, and we agreed to meet first at the tiny house, so that I might see how tiny it was. Once at the house, which was tiny indeed, I was greeted by the Tiny House Man. I saw that he was wearing Teva sandals. I hate Teva sandals. He opened a bottle of wine, and it was not long before I forgot that I hated Teva sandals.
Profile further updated. At the very end of the 'i won't like you if' section, it now reads: "but, stranger things have happened." What are you waiting for? She's drawing you a map!
I think ogged owes it to us to contact this woman.