Re: Blogger Dating

1

Bloggers dating? That's just crazy.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:13 PM
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Okay Ogged, do you realize that at the two meetups I've been to, you've been a significant topic of conversation? Like, all these people who you don't know, and who you've never met, just sitting around and talking about you. A waste of countless mental cycles, if you're never going to attend any of the parties your website throws or anything.

Seriously, how are you still single at this point? You've clearly implemented the three-step solution to catherine's question ("how should a blogger date?")...

1. Start a thriving online forum with hundreds of funny, profane readers.
2. [Duh].
3. Profit.

C'mon, Capt. Obvious.


Posted by: arthegall | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:14 PM
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Post is by Becks, by the way.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:15 PM
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#3 is directed to Ogged, btw.


Posted by: arthegall | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:17 PM
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I don't know if you need a protocol, just an e-mail address. If you seems stalkery, the other person will tell you to go to hell. Problem solved.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:19 PM
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4 "#3" s/b "#2". Gddamnt. I was invoking Ogged, even though he obvs. didn't write the post, sorry if that was unclear.


Posted by: arthegall | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:19 PM
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7

Is it? I thought it was just a free-floating comment.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:20 PM
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less a protocol, more just a way for it to seem more acceptable. cause i think it's a decent way of meeting folks you'd like to date, but definitely seems outlandishly stalky right now.


Posted by: catherine | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:21 PM
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9

Catherine, stop beating around the bush and ask me out already.


Posted by: mike d | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:22 PM
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10

Catherine, is there someone special at your blog these days, you coy thing?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:22 PM
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no see, this isn't about me! i swear! i...yeah, hell, i should just throw that drunken internet orgy. again.


Posted by: catherine | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:25 PM
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I think commenters are unlikely to date a blogger they read, more likely to "stalk," because they already know unacceptably far more about that person than is reasonable for a first-date level of intimacy. And if the commenter doesn't blog, the commenter wields an absurd amount of power in that relationship.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:25 PM
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7 was to 4, but anyway, it seems to me that living in different cities/states/regions/countries seems to be more of a barrier to more blogger/commenter dating. It's not as stalkery-seeming to suggest meeting up casually when you're already in the same area, as it would be to travel solely to do so (in the abscence of, say, some massive party).


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:26 PM
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11: Is it about someone we know? That could be a delicious guessing-game.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:27 PM
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I'm not sure about that, AWB. I kind of wish that anyone I would be interested in dating already knew about the blog, because the feeling that they know more or less what they're getting is very comforting.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:29 PM
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commenters are unlikely to date a blogger they read, more likely to "stalk,"

An excellent point.


Posted by: Creepy Stalker | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:32 PM
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17

I would totally date ogged.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:32 PM
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18

14 - no no, really, there's nobody (in my case). it just struck me, particularly after reading the post about ogged and his teva lady, that there should be an easier way. clearly some commenters (in general across the internet) have things for various bloggers, but i believe generally would be too afraid to ask the blogger out on a date. but if the blogger is open to it, why not try to arrange some sort of thing? but primarily it's more about the stigma that it'd be sketchy and creepy, when i think it'd be fairly successful for at least a few bloggers/commenters.

and also, 15. explaining blogging to people you date, and having them not think you're a freak, is hard!


Posted by: catherine | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:33 PM
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That's true. I've puzzled about whether and how to talk about my blog with guys I'm interested in, and usually decided it's best if they know it exists, and maybe read it occasionally, but don't consider it required reading.

But anyone who already knows my blog has read these long essays on how relationships are kinda depressing, etc., which is hardly conducive to optimism about dating, and anyone who knows me from here knows the worst sides of my locker-roomishness. It's nice to date, in a way, because you get to present the best sides of yourself before developing the emotional intimacy that allows for more familiar kinds of joking around. Blogging is like skipping straight to the privileges of emotional intimacy without knowing each other's possibly totally socially acceptable, even nice behavior.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:37 PM
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I don't know that it's as difficult as you think, Catherine. If a blogger/commenter are interested in each other, it's really pretty easy to start with a nice post/good comment email and take it from there. "Nice post, let's date!" is somewhat stalkerish, but that's not how it needs to be.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:37 PM
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13: I guess my point was, 'normal' people need a dating site like match.com or whatever... the site provides a steady flow of readers, the user pays to be able to use the site to put up some small amount of content about themselves in a way that will generate a little traffic, and everyone wins.

But Ogged has pretty much changed the entire dynamic, at least for himself (if he so wishes).

He (obvs not alone) created this blog, and it generates no small number of consistent readers around the globe because the blog's proprietors are all charming and witty individuals.

In other words, people are already reading because they like Ogged. And it's not like unfogged would ever become solely about "getting Ogged a date," but the point is that he already has a high-traffic forum read by people who find him funny and interesting. Some of those people even spontaneously organize laid-back meet-ups in person, at bars. Why, then, does Ogged continue to troll sites like match.com or whatever?

Maybe this is a rhetorical question.


Posted by: arthegall | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:38 PM
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14: Obviously the only answer is a highly secure database bloggers send in a list of the other bloggers they'd be interested in, and it only spits out a response where there's a match. Problem solved. Programmers, get on it!


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:38 PM
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15: A friend of a friend discovered my blog after it was linked by Wonkette, and she told me that she didn't get it. Just as plain as that. In person I'm less cryptic, much hotter.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:39 PM
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24

I would think the blogger would wield more of the power.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:40 PM
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25

With great blog comes great responsibility.


Posted by: arthegall | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:40 PM
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18: I just don't get where this isn't happening. You meet bloggers all the time. It's like, a thing you do.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:40 PM
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Mostly OT, but awesome wording- the Mass. SJC ruled that using fraud to obtain consent for sex is not rape. In a summary of the decision:
"Lawmakers have taken no steps to do so, the court added, since the SJC issued a seminal ruling in 1959 about the use of trickery to obtain sex. "
So since no one knows who ogged is, if someone showed up at a meetup and claimed to be ogged just to get someone to have sex, it's legal. Probably not successful, but legal.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:41 PM
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a highly secure database bloggers send in a list of the other bloggers they'd be interested in

Everybody just send your crushes to me. I'm discreet.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:41 PM
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I like to meet everyone who reads. Meeting the ones I might have a crush on doesn't seem like such a big deal when you're used to meeting readers.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:41 PM
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30

only spits out a response where there's a match

Works for me.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:41 PM
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31

The subtext of this conversation is radioactive.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:45 PM
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32

Couldn't the title of this thread be the title of just about every thread here?


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:45 PM
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33

"… let's date!" is somewhat stalkerish


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:48 PM
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34

I kind of wish that anyone I would be interested in dating already knew about the blog, because the feeling that they know more or less what they're getting is very comforting.

Including knowing about your tendency to make vaguely insulting remarks.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:48 PM
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35

The point is, there's nothing less attractive than hearing someone's thoughts and experiences with dating, good or bad. That's why we talk about it here, because it's mostly disconnected from the rest of our lives. The problem with dating someone you know from the internet is they will never be able to separate the thought of themselves from the witty or pathetic anecdotes you've told in the past. Maybe this is a greater anxiety for women, who are not supposed to have exes in the imagination?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:49 PM
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36

19 is a good point.

20 - i think you're underestimating the difficulty it takes to get up the courage to do something like that, because of the fear the blogger will think you're loco. blind dates, online dating, there's already a context there that this is appropriate. i guess this is less about a site like unfogged, where lots of people have online interactions already, and more for sites where an anonymous commenter might want to contact the blogger (and the blogger doesn't know who this commenter is). it's a big, hard leap from an email saying "nice post" to a continued email relationship where you actually chat to a date.

26 - i meet bloggers and commenters all the time because i think i make it clear i'm open to doing so, and generally very much enjoy the company and friendships that result. i mean, i don't do it to date, but if i were in a position to do it, and in a way that wasn't like, "HEY ASK ME OUT GUYS", i would be open to that.

i guess i just think there are a lot of bloggers out there who maybe have an untapped dating pool in their commenters and don't realize it. maybe?


Posted by: catherine | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:49 PM
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37

Bloggers dating? Probably way tamer and safer than Usenetters dating, especially in the mid-to-late '90s. (Right magpie?) Especially when the blogs are hosted "by professionals for professions" like Typead or have TOSes saying basically "we'll do whatever we like with your info and content" like Blogger/Blogspot/Google, LiveJournal, etc.

P.S. Hey ogged, nice post. Let's date!


Posted by: David | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:49 PM
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38

Um, "by professionals for professionALs" I mean. Which I'm sure nobody on Earth would have figured had I not explicitly said so.


Posted by: David | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:50 PM
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39

if i were in a position to do it, and in a way that wasn't like, "HEY ASK ME OUT GUYS"

Easy. Ask the commenters you like out.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:52 PM
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40

I thought google had come up with gDate or something.


Posted by: tweedledopey | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:52 PM
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41

Everybody just send your crushes to me. I'm discreet.

A match!


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:52 PM
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35: IMX, most people aren't exactly like their personas anyway, so the only real problem is not having your stock of first date stories since you've probably told most of the good ones on your blog.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:53 PM
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43

Isn't unfogged basically the answer to this question?


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:53 PM
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44

I thought google had come up with gDate or something.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:54 PM
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45

I agree with 21 (and others making similar points) in that this is a very different kind of blog from a lot of individual (one poster) blogs.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:55 PM
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46

I would never tell my dating stories on an actual date, at least not the funny X-rated ones.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:55 PM
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47

and more for sites where an anonymous commenter might want to contact the blogger (and the blogger doesn't know who this commenter is)

I guess I don't get what you're proposing. It sounds like asymmetric speed-dating, with on one side the exposed, parturient blogger, and on the other a horde of accommodating drones. Wouldn't you want to go through a few rounds of pic exchange first?


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:56 PM
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39 - that's easy enough, but i mean this isn't really about me, i don't have problems whoring myself through the internet! just kidding. um. i see this more as a situation much removed from the unfogged-type universe of the internet, where not everybody has such comfortable relationships with everybody, or is comfortable with these sorts of internet dynamics. you know? i know i'm not making myself very clear. but i think there are bloggers and commenters that are far removed from unfogged that would benefit from trying to date each other.


Posted by: catherine | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:56 PM
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49

I think there should be more stigma associated with blogging.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:59 PM
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50

Isn't Drum married? What's really going on here, Catherine?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 2:59 PM
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51

with on one side the exposed, parturient blogger,

This is what I mean when I say the commenter would wield far more power than the blogger. All you know about the commenter is a handful of anecdotes you inspired, maybe, and what posts they ignore. With another blogger, at least there's a similar level of previous disclosure and social risk.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:00 PM
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39: Sorry bitchphd, I'm already busily throwing myself unrequitedly at another toplevel blogger (cf. 37).

Does everybody on unfogged have his/her own blog? How many of you also post to Usenet?


Posted by: FunnyGuy | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:01 PM
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Does everybody on unfogged have his/her own blog?

Yes.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:02 PM
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54

How many of you also post to Usenet?

Not in many, many years.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:03 PM
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55

Why do my spammers keep complimenting my site if they're not going to ask me out? Why?


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:07 PM
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56

Ñongratulations, eb!


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:08 PM
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I'm on a 5 year (and counting) hiatus from my blog.
Actually, I started it with my real name, realized after my first pissing match that that was stupid, and quit, but it's still in the wayback machine.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:08 PM
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58

Zadie Smith has a good story in the recent New Yorker.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:09 PM
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59

AWB, I might just be restating an earlier point, but you're thinking of fewer revelations as more power, but it seems the other way around to me (or for me, rather). If someone has read this blog and still wants to date me, I can relax, because I've been accepted in some sense, but if I don't know much about the other person, the anxiety is on her side. Obviously, the dynamic you describe and the one I'm describing are both in play, and someone's particular anxieties will determine which one matters more.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:10 PM
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re 51: That might be the case if nobody thought they remembered you from long ago and far away and typed something about your comments into a search engine, like your "Posted by" line. E.g., what is "sodomy-winking"? (I thought I'd heard of everything!)

And eb, hey, don't feel bad, didn't I stalk you in 1995?


Posted by: Not Hitler | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:10 PM
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52 - Yes. (Non pseudononymous work blogging in my case).


Posted by: benton | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:12 PM
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The point is, there's nothing less attractive than hearing someone's thoughts and experiences with dating

Yes there is! Hearing about their dreams!


And just to follow up, on the subject of dating, internets, etc.: sending the pdf would have totally been okay. He's as big and self-embracing a nerd as I am, turns out.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:12 PM
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I'm not sure I would want to date someone whom I met because meeting me was the point. I don't want to be part of any club that will have me, etc.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:12 PM
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David, it would be marvelous of you not to change handles so frequently.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:13 PM
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"...[S]omeone's particular anxieties will determine which one matters more."

Or which of you is an Illuminatus with CIA connections and a spiteful disposition.


Posted by: David | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:13 PM
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62: Sounds like things are going well.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:14 PM
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He's as big and self-embracing a nerd as I am, turns out.

Excellent.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:14 PM
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68

Sorry Standpipe, it was part of a joke.


Posted by: David | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:14 PM
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69

clearly i'm not making a very good case for this, mostly because it's something i haven't thought a lot about (or maybe because it's truly a bad idea), but i remain convinced that bloggers and commenters dating would have about the same amount of success, if not more, than blind dates or any online dating sites or something like salon or match.com. so why is all the effort going into that? think big, bloggers! and get your readers drunk!


Posted by: catherine | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:15 PM
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That makes sense, ogged, especially if the sorts of things you reveal would be issues that come up, as I think they might for you. I guess I feel like I say a lot of stuff that I change my mind about, and I don't always say things that paint a coherent picture, so it's really not necessary for someone to "accept" all these things I write about myself. I don't like the feeling of being held to everything I've ever said, even if it's something they never say.

Not-Hitler, do we know each other?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:15 PM
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71

Has this troll managed to bring pastries yet?


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:15 PM
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72

And Standpipe, why does it matter what handle I use? Does Greasemonkey work here too?


Posted by: David | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:16 PM
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My friend Alex has been working on a site that seems like it might be relevant:

Peeramour

I haven't really checked it out in any depth, but it specifically bills itself as a dating service for bloggers. So...


Posted by: tom | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:16 PM
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59 - I wonder. Without your actual participation, I think its easier for commenters to make of Ogged what they will. Of course, that can happen with the living and breathing Ogged too, but I think it easier with the virtual Ogged.


Posted by: benton | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:16 PM
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From the FAQ of the site linked in 44:

Many sites allow their members to upload photos of themselves - photos of them naked or even having sex. Now, if a member uploads such a photo, what is the quality of the member

I think we really have to see the photo in question to judge the quality of the member.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:17 PM
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No, catherine, it's all about the database. The problem is that no one here is trustworthy enough to run it.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:17 PM
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69: Maybe the problem is that this already happens a fair amount without the sort of institutionalization you're proposing, so people are skeptical about the value-added.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:18 PM
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The problem is that no one here is trustworthy enough to run it.

AHEM.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:20 PM
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I will check out Peeramour and report back. I don't like that there's no information about what will happen to me after my name goes into that hoo-hole.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:21 PM
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Matt, I don't trust you further than I can throw you. You are dastardly.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:21 PM
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81

Trust on the internet


Posted by: Nathan Williams | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:21 PM
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And Standpipe, why does it matter what handle I use?

It doesn't matter what handle you use, as long as 1) it's not already taken and 2) you stick with it.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:22 PM
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72: While you're thinking about it: Greasemonkey would be a major improvement on the various "Hitler" permutations.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:24 PM
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AWB, I'm pretty sure we've never met, and I have no reason to believe we've crossed virtual paths before (nor am I stalkery enough to investigate that). I was just referring to an issue you raised up in 51.

By the way, here's an open invitation to any unfogged blogger/commentator/reader in/near/passing through Louisville, KY to take me out for coffee/lunch/drinks. Platonically of course; I'm not one of those net.sluts anymore.


Posted by: David | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:24 PM
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Standpipe, re 82, I understand point #1 but I'm not sure about #2. Since we can refer to each other here by the number of the comment, why does the handle matter? I for one like to think I have a recognizeable style as well. (I'm not arguing, I'm just wondering why it matters to you.)


Posted by: David | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:30 PM
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If someone has read this blog and still wants to date me, I can relax, because I've been accepted in some sense

This, definitely. Besides not having to worry about the big "um...I have a blog" reveal, I find dating (and being friends with) blog people easy for this reason. It makes the initial meeting a bit more fraught sometimes but if someone's seen that much of my dirty laundry and still thinks I'm dateable/friendable, it's very comforting.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:33 PM
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I don't trust you further than I can throw you.

Excellent, I'm light as a feather. I eagerly await everyone's crush confessions.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:34 PM
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It's hard enough without faces and voices to remember who everyone here is, David. And in long threads in which lengthy arguments are made, it is of great importance to maintain a singular identity. To do otherwise is rude, because it means you don't want the kind of accountability everyone else here takes for granted.

I was hoping to get good gossip in this thread, not netiquette discussions.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:36 PM
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Since we can refer to each other here by the number of the comment, why does the handle matter?

A consistent pseudonym turns a disconnected series of text lumps into a person. I'd rather we be a people than merely lumps of text. Among other things, it's more fun that way.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:36 PM
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90

The intimacy imbalance is deadly. If you're crushing on a blogger, being a lurker or commenter is not enough. You've got to start your own blog, link to his blog a bunch, post stuff about yourself that is calculated to catch your crush's eye, and then try out a blogger/blogger romance.

Not that I've done this or anything.


Posted by: Amber | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:36 PM
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91

WE ARE A PEOPLE YES


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:37 PM
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92

What AWB said.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:38 PM
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text lumps into a person

He does? That's not very nice of him.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:38 PM
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86: Being friends with people who have smelled my dirty laundry is really liberating. But I'd be anxious about anyone who'd smelled my dirty laundry and still wanted to sex me. I usually don't have it spread out on a first date.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:39 PM
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90: I think Jacob Levy is married, though.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:39 PM
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Non-netiquette: what's with people sending random stuff to their favoured bloggers in the mail? (Books, CDs, et cetera.) Does that kind of thing play into the blog dating in any way? Does it ever seem weird or stalkerish?


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:41 PM
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90 seems like solid, though maybe a bit scarily-thought-out, advice.


Posted by: catherine | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:41 PM
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98

also this dooce post reflects on how nice it is, if blogging plays a big part in your life, to be around people who know about it/get it.


Posted by: catherine | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:43 PM
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what's with people sending random stuff to their favoured bloggers in the mail?

A lot of bloggers have their Amazon wish lists posted on their blogs; presumably they don't have a problem with people buying them things.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:44 PM
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79: don't worry too much about the info. Alex is a good guy, and I can go yell at him for you if necessary. And anyway he's recently gone off to work at Twitter, so he's not likely to be spending much time doing evil things to promote peeramour anyway.


Posted by: tom | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:44 PM
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96: I got a lot of gifts a while back. Usually, they seem to be things that someone wants to share as a sort of return for my work as a writer, which is very sweet. Or sometimes it's someone who knows me pretty well as a blogger and sees something they think I'd appreciate and not be able to get for myself. It's never seemed stalkery, but I tend to get nice things like CDs, books, dairy products, etc., not, like, underwear. (shudder)


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:44 PM
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Heh - I just got an email from the recent ex of a friend of mine asking my pseud if he could publish some of my recent posts in a magazine. He didn't know that we know each other IRL. I really could have played with that, but I didn't. I was just all "Hi, you know me."


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:46 PM
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90: By the way, why'd you disable comments over at your blog?


Posted by: the Other Paul | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:50 PM
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103: They're not disabled, it's just that Haloscan sucks.


Posted by: Amber | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:51 PM
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Amber, was your plot successful?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:51 PM
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Does it ever seem weird or stalkerish?

Sometimes, yes.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:53 PM
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I got a one year relationship out of it, if that counts as success. The blog got me my current relationship as well, although I wasn't trying that time.


Posted by: Amber | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:54 PM
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And Standpipe, it obviously does matter to you about your handle, given that Dogpile reveals you use the same one in several places. (I learned that when I wanted to know if "standpipe bridgeplate" was a plumbing term.) Do you ever get uneasy that, frex, someone will remember something embarrassing you posted in say 1995?

Okay, on preview I understand about seeming like a consistent person. One problem I have is that people who, e.g., google one's Usenet posts from say a decade ago might assume a personal consistency (or consistency of net.persona) that's no longer the case.

And AWB, changing my handles in this thread had nothing to do with evading accountability; I was (playfully) teasing someone about something from another thread a few days ago (in a very broad and unwitty "code"), after which someone else "rebutted" me. In a broader context one mght say I was in that way enabling or embracing more accountability. But I take your point nonetheless. (And as far as gossip goes, get me drunk and you'll have plenty to spread.)

Anyway. Does Unfogged have its own nice screen-printed T-shirt? Anybody else's blog have one? (bitchphd's "finger" would be great.)


Posted by: David | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:55 PM
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re the blog date-a-base, i think the truly profitable internet idea we're all missing out on is, as he and i have discussed, a service where you can sign up for labs' drunk text messages. a twitter version of labs, if you will. who wouldn't pay for that?


Posted by: catherine | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:56 PM
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Beefo Meaty's had roughly the same handle since at least, like, 1995.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:57 PM
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David, you're harshing on my blog crush on you.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:57 PM
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bitchphd's "finger" would be great

When her nails are trimmed, sure.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:57 PM
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Anyway. Does Unfogged have its own nice screen-printed T-shirt?

Obviously it should read, "I am Ogged." I presume this has been suggested before.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:58 PM
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107: Counts as a success to me. I've actually considered trying something similar - a couple of years ago - but it seemed like it wasn't going to go anywhere, geographically-speaking.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:58 PM
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108: Do you understand about seeming like a really creepy, threatening person, frex?


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:58 PM
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Note to self: underwear is out. Got it.

106: I'm guessing that would be when it was out of the blue, or when it was a weird choice of item, or both?


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 3:59 PM
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Interblogger Dating Control Protocol?

Something similar to a SIP service. You send in a REGISTER message with certain fields, and leave a link to the IDCP server on your blog. Anyone else who passes can check compatibility.

In fact, SIP could be Sexual Instigation Protocol, right?


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:01 PM
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We could get the Chestnut on this. He studies security, so it would be airtight.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:02 PM
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I find that as a mere commenter, all the bloggers I ask out either laugh in my face or humor me with "coffee" and then airily bid me adieu. Except St/ven Den B/ste.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:03 PM
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119: I hear St/ven's happy with a hug from what he calls a "woman."


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:04 PM
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[redacted]


Posted by: [redacted] | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:07 PM
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Have to bind IDs to something checkable - maybe use the server as a CA.


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:07 PM
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I'd love a twitter version of drunk Labs. Not sure I'd pay for it though.

In fact, does anyone here twitter? I am finding it highly amusing in a bizarre and banal way, to get endless texts about whatever boring thing my friends are doing.

(And is it true that in America you have to pay to receive texts?)


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:09 PM
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[redacted - Becks]


Posted by: [redacted] | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:09 PM
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[redacted - Becks]


Posted by: [redacted] | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:13 PM
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Twitter is a sign of the apocalypse.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:13 PM
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[redacted - Becks]


Posted by: [redacted] | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:14 PM
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Yeah, I thought so too, but it's addictive. You don't have to put as much thought into it as blogging either. And twittervision is just hypnotic.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:14 PM
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re 115:

"108: Do you understand about seeming like a really creepy, threatening person, frex?"

No, I don't. Especially if you're telling me I seem like "a really creepy, threatening person" to you, especially since I perceive myself as anything but threatening and don't try to threaten anybody (who's not say actually waving a real gun in my physical face). I hope you're not one of those people who feels threatened by anything out of the ordinary, and if so that you seek professional help soon.


Posted by: David | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:14 PM
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Oh, Twitter, this place. I've learned a lot from Unfogged so far, much in this thread alone!


Posted by: David | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:17 PM
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123: how about a twitter version of Muppet Labs?


Posted by: David | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:18 PM
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David, you're assuming an inappropriate level of familiarity with text, as you did with Cala. Have you tried lurking?


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:19 PM
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Maybe this is a Usenet-to-blog acculturation issue.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:21 PM
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110: 1991. There's embarrassing things I've said all over the internet, but nothing can possibly be as embarrassing as what my handle actually is, so that's fine.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:21 PM
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133: Don't make excuses for him.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:22 PM
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One vote for "creepy."


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:22 PM
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I'm not making excuses, I'm just trying to understand.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:22 PM
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Two for "creepy."


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:24 PM
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David, you seem to be overreacting to things, and by "overreacting" I don't mean necessarily getting overly emotional, but typing five paragraphs in order to make one tiny point.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:24 PM
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Has anyone here dated anyone who wasn't somehow blog- or internet-related? The one person since high school who fits that description for me ended up reading a couple of my blog posts after the first time we hung out, producing an unaccountable effect of fascination in her. Luckily, I've so downgraded the quality of my blog that that's unlikely to happen again.

But seriously -- without the Internet, my biological needs simply can't be met. I'm a cyborg.


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:27 PM
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140: You could just go to strip clubs, Adam.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:29 PM
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You could just go to comic strip clubs, Adam.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:30 PM
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You could just go to strip malls, Adam.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:31 PM
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One vote for annoying. Nobody wants to talk to you about that shit, David.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:31 PM
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I'm a little punchy from all this grading. Only revealed my blog to Jammies after we'd been together about six months. No one else from my real life knows I'm here.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:32 PM
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You could just smoke Pall Malls, Adam.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:32 PM
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You could just go to strip mines, Adam.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:34 PM
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The other annoying thing about dating someone who reads your blog, but doesn't blog himself, is that your blog sets up all these possible subjects for conversation, and even the terms of the discussion, so when he reads and likes something from the blog, you end up referring to it in your own terms, even when he's a perfectly intelligent person who could come up with his own. The text already exists and has dictated the vocabularies for a topic.

Dating a non-blogging commenter would, I fear, replicate this phenomenon even more explicitly.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:35 PM
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You could just strip mine, Adam.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:35 PM
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You could just go to mineshaft, Adam.


Posted by: Nakku | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:36 PM
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148: I haven't found this to be the case.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:36 PM
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You could just shaft my, uh, okay, n/m.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:37 PM
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Does it ever seem weird or stalkerish?

When it's a mixed tape including "Wind Beneath My Wings," the answer is a firm, loud "yes."


Posted by: SEK | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:39 PM
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I wonder, AWB, if your attitude toward this issue isn't affected by the somewhat idiosyncratic nature of your blog.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:40 PM
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Re 132: Standpipe, I thought Text was "assuming an inappropriate level of familiarity" with ME. I have no idea how s/he could feel I've threatened him/her (or anybody else on Unfogged) in any way, and reacted (I thought) appropriately to (what I saw as) an obvious insult. If I was wrong I apologize.

But then if reminding some kinds of people of a Big Bad Ogre for some inexplicable reason keeps those people from taking me out for coffee that's their loss.


Posted by: David | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:40 PM
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148: I find the exact opposite is often the case. All my data is taken as "known," so I get to fill the role of the good listener, just soaking it all in as the unknown partner reveals herself. Meanwhile, the contrast between my sensitive real-life self and my brash online self radically decenters her image of me -- so by the very act of revealing so much of myself, I have only increased the element of mystery and fascination.

That latter sentence is evidence of the deleterious effects of my recent rereading of various Zizek books.


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:42 PM
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154: Yeah, I think that's probably the case.

Usually the idiosyncratic nature of my blog does me the favor of keeping big blogs from linking to me, and therefore obviates the need to tend my comment threads much, as everyone knows what's going on. Today I've had 5,100 hits from a bunch of links (not the ones here) and it's assholes as far as the eye can see. "Obviously, you have problems with your students because you're an incompetent fool," etc. Lurking is a good thing, strangers! Figure out what's going on first!


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:43 PM
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Also, off-topic, but -- why do people cite encyclopedia articles? Particularly block-quotes from Encarta and Wikipedia? In grad school?


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:44 PM
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157: I noticed that, and was wondering what was up. Over 50 comments on a thread at AWB's? Weird.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:46 PM
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155: that's their loss

Yes, but it's also your loss.


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:48 PM
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157 - Yeah, I was wondering what had happened, too. That sucks.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:49 PM
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Sorry about your assholes, Bear.

Is it too late for a "You could strip mime, Adam"?


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:54 PM
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158: Because those people are stupid.

157: Probably my fault. Sorry about that.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 4:56 PM
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B, do you have to moniter your comment thread pretty closely?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 5:02 PM
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Sorry about your assholes, Bear.
Which IS a euphemism. Thank god.


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 5:04 PM
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164: For some kinds of comments, but mostly I seem to have acquired an internet-wide reputation for not tolerating fools. I've seen a few places link me and then say "but don't bother commenting, she'll just ban you."


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 5:06 PM
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140: Has anyone here dated anyone who wasn't somehow blog- or internet-related?

I specifically avoid dating people who are blog- or internet-related.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 5:12 PM
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Could someone redact 121 please?


Posted by: SEK | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 5:16 PM
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42: I've heard that some people are just like their blog personas.

98: dooce is right about the weirdness of it. I told my therapist about unfogged once to explain to him that I was going to a meetup and that this blog is actually kind of important to me, but I haven't mentioned it since. It was kind of hard to explain.

Generally:

I think that the interesting pairings would be commenters meeting other commenters. Not as liekly to have imbalances, what dirty laundry there is is likely to buried. I had a blog very briefly, but it was under my real name, and it wasn't very good. I'm sure, though, that the unfogged commentariat is as good a place as any (if this thing with John doesn't work out) to meet someone to date. Hell, you people know a lot of my dirty laundry already. I don't have to worry about that, "Well, see my Mom's kind of crazy" conversation.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 5:23 PM
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169 was I.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 5:23 PM
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168: Done.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 5:26 PM
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169: Not to put too much of a damper on you or make what's probably an obvious point, but the thing about "My mom's kind of crazy" is that it's one thing to know this about a person and a very different thing to have the fact of the mother's craziness become relevant to your life in various ways.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 5:29 PM
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That was what Buck said.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 5:34 PM
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Hey everyone, I just finished my thesis!


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 5:46 PM
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Does anyone know if there's an easy way to merge five Word documents into one?


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 5:47 PM
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Wait, actually it's six.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 5:48 PM
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Congratulations teofilo!


Posted by: Junior Mint | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 5:48 PM
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(Not that it matters.)


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 5:48 PM
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177: Thanks.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 5:49 PM
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Hey, congratulations!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 5:49 PM
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178 - aw, it does TOO matter, you self-deprecating lil scamp!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 5:50 PM
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107: This is pretty OT, but was that other relationship the source of your blog's current name?


Posted by: the Other Paul | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 5:50 PM
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178 was to 176.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 5:53 PM
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175: You can make a Master Document, and then insert 6 subdocuments. There are some advantages, but it often goes wrong, in my experience.
And congratulations.


Posted by: Nakku | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 5:53 PM
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I ended up just copying and pasting. Anything else would probably have been too much trouble.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 5:54 PM
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What does "Ñongratulations" mean?


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 5:55 PM
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182: It is a twist on a line from a film we both liked, yes. It breaks down slightly because Napoleon was not less than five feet tall.


Posted by: Amber | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 5:57 PM
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[redacted - Becks]


Posted by: [redacted] | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 6:02 PM
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183 - Don't back-pedal to save face.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 6:02 PM
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189: Too late now.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 6:03 PM
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172: Well, yeah, that's totally true. I kind of doubt that someone from the unfoggedtariat would date me for just that reason, but if I did go out with one of you all, I'd know that I was being accepted despite that. I wouldn't have to worry about revealing it later on.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 6:04 PM
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71: No. I've been waiting on my black forest cake and I see none. And given that David is a minor but persistent Usenet troll of long standing (google on "TheDavid" or "David O'Bedlam" to see his work in other media), he ought to be bringing the whole damn bakery, frankly.


Posted by: Magpie | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 6:07 PM
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188: It's redacted -- click the links.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 6:09 PM
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187: I remember about that; I was just wondering if that relationship was the one in question. Thanks for satisfying my curiosity.


Posted by: the Other Paul | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 6:16 PM
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I kind of doubt that someone from the unfoggedtariat would date me for just that reason,

Am I the only one who thinks this is crazy? Serious question for all: how much do a person's parents factor into your decisions about who to date? I know the general course is that you don't meet the parents until late in the game, but among people whose parents you happen to know, how much does that knowledge affect your willingness to date them (positively or negatively)? Because for me it's nearly zero, if not zero. But I might be an outlier; I'm genuinely curious.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 6:20 PM
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To save yourself grief in the future, Teo, be sure to remove all formatting in the copied and pasted master document and then start over. Very hard-learned experience talking here. And congratulations.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 6:22 PM
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Depends on the parents, and how involved they are in the person's life. I know a woman who dated a guy (immigrant from a country I won't name, because I have no idea whether this is a pattern or they were just fucked up) with a really really scary semi-incestuous relationship with his mother.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 6:23 PM
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Wait, what grief would I be saving by doing that? And thanks.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 6:23 PM
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197 seems like a problem with the guy as much as with the parents.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 6:27 PM
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Different documents often end up having different small quirks of paragraph or margin formatting or a million random small formatting marks that aren't visible. You usually don't notice these until you are going through at a final stage trying to make everything look all pretty. You hit backspace somewhere, and suddenly your text is all 14-point, single-spaced, and bold (or whatever). This can take forever to iron out, and it's much better to nuke it all and format from scratch. You'll lose some of the footnoting functionality, but it's easy enough to redo that with a cleanly formatted document.

I'm sure this makes me look foolish, merging documents can surely be made easier, but if you start with a copy-and-paste, that's the problem to watch out for.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 6:31 PM
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Yeah, I have a couple of people who obviously know nothing about me showing up at my blog and writing that I'm a terrible teacher who ignores her poor students / is way too indulgent / doesn't understand that I am a teacher / etc. Clearly none of these people read my blog or know anything about me. It's pretty much, I assume, what you get if you're a mom posting that sometimes your kids annoy you, and the response is clearly because I'm a woman. Love them more, you monster! These things wouldn't happen to you if you loved them less, you disgusting female!

I think it's LGM's fault more than yours, Bitch. LGM and CT seem to have provoked the nastiest ones. I delete, and then they return and say something meaner with "WHY DON'T YOU DELETE THIS AND THEN GO QUIT YOUR JOB YOU INEFFECTIVE PIECE OF TRASH?"


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 6:32 PM
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195: The simple fact of crazy/dysfunctional parents: not in the slightest. How hypothetical datee actually interacts with said crazy/dysfunctional parents, though, could be a total dealbreaker.


Posted by: Magpie | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 6:32 PM
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202: Well, look. I'm reasonably smart, and I'm not unattractive, but anyone who wants to have kids might easily fear my genes. That person might be a jerk who's ignoring my other assets, but there are people who feel that way.


Posted by: Bostonaingirl | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 6:41 PM
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Two hundred comments too late, but: "i guess the answer is to just invite your readers to your house, get hammered, and have a LAN party!"


Posted by: Lauren | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 6:43 PM
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Re: 201

I know we've had the "why do trolls exist" conversation before, but I have a slightly broader subject: I do not understand the existence of people who's problems with the world manifest themselves in serious anger towards strangers (of which I take the behavior AWB is describing to be a sub-type). It's not that I'm super well-adjusted and can't be cold or otherwise weird towards people sometimes, but I just don't get that particular form of poor social functioning.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 6:44 PM
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200: Ah, okay. It seems to have gone smoothly; the final document's short enough (52 pages) that fixing formatting problems wouldn't be too big a deal. Plus I don't care that much about making it look pretty.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 6:50 PM
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I dated a woman who went into great detail, frequently, about her mother's crazy behavior, how hard it was to put up with, all kinds of different aspects of her mother's instability, fragility, bipolarness.

I suspect that this woman saw her mother's craziness as an excuse to act crazy herself, in ways that she knew were unnecessary and confusing, but presumably paled by comparison with what she remembered of her mother.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 6:53 PM
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201: If you don't mind my asking, what was that post on your blog that you deleted about? I didn't see it before you took it down.


Posted by: the Other Paul | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 6:56 PM
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How much longer are people going to keep engaging David? Seriously, if you find yourself explaining basic interpersonal boundaries, or why it's important to use the same handle every time, perhaps you're talking with a person who needs more help than can be had in the comments section of a blog.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 7:09 PM
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208: It was about a student I had that was really upfront about not being able to show up to class all the time, for a personal problem that he claimed to not want to seek help for, along with the statement that another of his instructors never cared whether he came to class because she saw how brilliant he was. At the time, this sounded a lot to me like an admission of addiction of some kind (I have a lot of charismatic addicts in my family and it's recognizable, this pattern of behavior), but I didn't know what to do about it. I don't like his favorite instructor and don't feel comfortable asking what's up in her class. What really bothered me, then, was his paper that I graded, which was the worst in the class. It not only didn't follow instructions, it misread the poems and was not even well written, despite being on poetry, which he claims has been a favorite subject of his since he was a kid.

That is, it's a complex situation. I just didn't feel like I could respond to some of the suggestions of what I "should have done" without disclosing a lot more details about the situation or defending myself as a teacher, neither of which I feel like doing on my blog.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 7:10 PM
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And most of the comments were on what you should've done, I take it.


Posted by: the Other Paul | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 7:14 PM
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AWB, I have an empty head about what you "should" have done or should do, but the student sounded 100% like a con artist, and the post was sympathetic.


Posted by: Joseph Kugelmass | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 7:18 PM
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Congratulations, teo, although since if I remember correctly you don't present until tomorrow, I have to wonder why the big rush?


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 7:18 PM
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Serious question for all: how much do a person's parents factor into your decisions about who to date?

It depends. (kind of a moot point as I'm married now) But environments (good and bad) people experience growing up are often are a strong predictor of how they will be in the future. And there's genetic stuff to think about. I probably wouldn't have dated a woman if I found out she had a high incidence of bi-polar in her female relatives.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 7:19 PM
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In most of my dating experiences, I've met and loved the person long before I met their families. I'd agree that how they handle their families is more important than whether their families are crazy.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 7:22 PM
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My ex Max's mom keeps emailing me to figure out a time when we could have dinner. I really want to, because we liked each other a lot. Max doesn't see her but like once a year now, and I know she needs friends. But, because she's 81, she can't really keep herself from bringing up Max, the kids, his new girlfriend, his ex-wife, etc., all of which are pretty unpleasant topics for me. I know she's trying to keep it neutral, and even says she knows it must be painful to me. I also worry that if I go out with her and he finds out, he'll take it out on her by taking even worse care of her. What should I do?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 7:24 PM
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213: Just anxious to be finished, I guess. I'm rather surprised myself.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 7:26 PM
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What does "Ñongratulations" mean?

Ñongratulations!


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 7:32 PM
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217: You didn't really have to explain. I wish I'd finished my "thesis" - quotation marks because there was no presentation and it was really just a long research paper - earlier, instead of what actually happened.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 7:33 PM
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216 - oof, that's really hard. Can you take a third party along? And Max would really possibly take it out on her?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 7:38 PM
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I dated one of my commenters for three years. Not recommended.


Posted by: carpeicthus | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 7:43 PM
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220: He seems to be becoming extremely secretive and vindictive, partially out of shame, I think, about the way he handled the end of our relationship. He lied to her about it so he wouldn't have to hear her say he fucked it up, so when I told her what happened (in the most sympathetic-to-Max way I could), she was quite upset. Even if I hadn't told her, I'm sure she wouldn't have been able to keep herself from talking to him about me. I didn't cease to exist for her, after all. She's not good at keeping herself from talking about things that are upsetting to others, which is part of why we got along so well. (We went to a Beckett play together once at the 92nd St. Y and ragged on Sontag during intermission! Death stares from every side.) She needs his help because he's the only family she's got in the city, and when she's sick, he does help her. I don't want him to start threatening that because of me.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 7:48 PM
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Are you telling me that all of Unfogged is dating?

I just assumed all of you people were sleeping with each other. Except Ogged.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 7:49 PM
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Hey AWB, did you actually sign up for Peeramour? I'm kind of intrigued by it.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 7:52 PM
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Huh. I just clicked through: they certainly don't give you much information without an email address and URL.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 7:56 PM
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That's what's so intriguing.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 7:57 PM
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And yes, 225 repeats 79, but I had to see for myself.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 8:00 PM
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Yeah, teo, I gave them my address. When I find out more, I'll probably back out, but I thought someone should do reconnaissance.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 8:03 PM
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The thing is--will they let me join under my pseud? Can I date pseudonymously?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 8:06 PM
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To successfully date a blogger, just count their growth rings.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 8:22 PM
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...anyone who wasn't somehow blog- or internet-related? The one person since high school who fits that description...

I found this first difficult, and then depressing, to parse.

Teo: Woohoo!

216: Yeeegh. I once broke ugly with a bf whose parents I had grown close to. It was clear I could never speak to him again, but I had quite a hard time determining how to behave toward the parents. I'm sad to say that cutting them off as well seemed like the only workable answer at the time. Fortunately, their being elderly and alone was not part of that equation.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 8:29 PM
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I keep imagining that the site allows you to choose dates by filtering for hitcounts. Do I want to date a 10K per day A-lister? Probably not. What about an LJer who gets 10 readers a day? Hm.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 8:30 PM
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This is disturbing and funny. Things get really odd around 3:30.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 8:32 PM
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I dated one of my commenters for three years. Not recommended.

If if lasted three years, it seems like that's actually a better record than other methods.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 8:33 PM
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Do we measure success by duration?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 8:36 PM
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I would, but I can understand there being reasons not to.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 8:39 PM
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Which is to say I wouldn't count success based on duration alone.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 8:40 PM
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Don't we? (to an extent) Unless you're a masochist or something, isn't duration usually some kind of indicator of compatibility?


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 8:40 PM
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Do we measure success by duration?

ATM, frequently.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 8:40 PM
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BG (from way back)--I think you underestimate how much of an asshole a person would have to be to think like that. Most kids could use a little fire in the brain. FWIW, I wouldn't worry.

Re: TheDavid. Weren't we looking for a pet troll a ways back? I think we were. I retract all that I said, Not-Hitler person. Stick arond and insult us and say crazy things.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 8:42 PM
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What about an LJer who gets 10 readers a day? Hm.

Hey!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 8:43 PM
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For instance, you could riff on my inability to write "around." There's good material here.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 8:43 PM
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I guess one would not want a one-off with someone with whom one has a blog relationship.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 8:43 PM
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would one necessarily know?


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 8:44 PM
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Heebie, everyone reads your LJ.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 8:45 PM
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would one necessarily know?

Nora Ephron teaches us, "Yes".

Eventually.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 8:49 PM
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Aw, shucks. (But I think you misoverestimate me.)


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 8:49 PM
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An ex- whom I was dating when I started blogging still reads mine and comments from time to time. Does not go over well with the current partner.


Posted by: Thomas Jefferson | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 8:51 PM
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That's interesting. Have I mentioned that I curse the day someone came up with dead president commenting? Not that no one ever used a secondary alias before, but rather it's not become far too much of an accepted practice.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 8:53 PM
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This is kind of silly. I wouldn't join a dating site for people who use pens. Or even Macs. Isn't this just the aesthetic preferences fallacy in a social-technological realm?


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 8:55 PM
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Yes, let's use the default pseudonyms from other popular sites instead of the names of dead presidents.


Posted by: Anonymous Coward | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 8:56 PM
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"not" (the second time) s/b "now"


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 8:57 PM
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What about a dating site for people who use dating sites?


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 8:58 PM
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"You use [generic dating site] too? We already have something in common!"


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 8:59 PM
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250: I guess the point is you wouldn't have to think of stupid things to say in a profile; they could judge your prose style. But yes, it's silly. Someone has to go in and criticize it from the inside.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 8:59 PM
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Oh, fuck, you guys. Now I got a Pajamas Media link.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:02 PM
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239: "frequency?"


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:02 PM
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I wouldn't like to present myself with my blog, which I like to partly personal but mostly business. I find it hard to believe anyone would be attracted to the character who writes the blog. Or that if they were, they'd be getting the deal they signed up for when they met me. For Ogged or catherine I could see that being different.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:02 PM
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I will now waste my the rest of my life on homestarrunner. Thank you, anonymous person.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:03 PM
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256: Yeah?! Well, FUCK YOU TOO !!!!!!


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:03 PM
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Now I got a Pajamas Media link.

You could order some Jammies?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:04 PM
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(I kid, of course)

Condolences.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:04 PM
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250: I assume it's more about the power of the fact that one is a blogger to act as a pre-filter on a number of other salient characteristics that motivates such a site.


Posted by: pdf23ds | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:06 PM
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258: I think only the most annoying blogs give off that "I'm datable...right?" vibe that's obviously a bleg for compliments or offers of dates. But a good prose style--come on, that's hott.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:08 PM
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And 62 totally threw me for a loop. I can't figure out what "sending the pdf" refers to, but it took me a couple minutes to decide it wasn't about me.


Posted by: pdf23ds | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:09 PM
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But a good prose style--come on, that's hott.

Indeed.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:09 PM
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My prose style is good...right?


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:09 PM
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257: Phoneticians do it with intensity, duration and frequency.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:12 PM
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257: Well, that too. But 239 wasn't a typo.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:12 PM
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I'll bet BitchPhD sends way more traffic than Pajamas Media.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:12 PM
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But a good prose style--come on, that's hott.

My students believe that being hott is a substitute for a good prose style.

Also: Now I got a Pajamas Media link.

I'm sorry.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:14 PM
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My prose style is good...right?

Answer.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:14 PM
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If you change the blog post to say that you refused because the kid was a Republican, then you'll really get some attention.


Posted by: neil | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:15 PM
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270: Ha. I dunno, I've been dull for a long time now and I think my numbers have dropped.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:16 PM
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Stop trying to make me better, SB.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:16 PM
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From the same thread, I wonder how this has panned out.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:17 PM
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A few thousand are from reddit.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:17 PM
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My prose style is good...right?

Would I have spent UnfoggeDCon talking to you it wasn't?

No, damn it, the answer is No. I mean, I chose you over my hot roommate ... which pissed her off.*

*I'll pay for this comment in a week or so, but it'll totally be worth it.


Posted by: SEK | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:18 PM
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Lesson: SEK will turn on you if there's a better writer in the room.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:19 PM
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Stop trying to make me better, SB.

Sorry, eb. Let's date.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:20 PM
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278: What, do you mean me? I don't remember getting pissed of about anything other than the fact that eb apparently snuck in and out without giving many people a chance to meet him.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:21 PM
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eb gives good prose.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:22 PM
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It's too late, SB. Here I stand and no pipe can bridge the plate between us.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:22 PM
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Damn. Darns it, I'm in ma cups, so 'scuse ma ... pard-o-nay moi, I need to pandiculate ... I'm back. Wai' wha' did SEK jus' right? Ain' it commensensical?


Posted by: SEK | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:23 PM
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276 - The coworker moved to California.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:24 PM
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Before or after his urges overpowered him?


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:25 PM
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281: I'm just trying to get eb to acknowledge how interesting he is. You're my foil. Play along!


Posted by: SEK | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:26 PM
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285: But did he ever lick?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:26 PM
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The good thing about sex offender registries is that they're even better than Facebook for keeping in touch with old pals.


Posted by: neil | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:26 PM
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Before or after his urges overpowered him?

I think that was a euphemism, teo.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:27 PM
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290: I'm so naive.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:28 PM
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195: I have to say, I was genuinely crazy about my wife's mother, and I really like the rest of her family, too.

How much does that matter? Well, how much does any particular trait matter? I'm not sure how much, but yeah, these things matter.


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:28 PM
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Let's just say that I seem to be better at writing than at partying. (And thanks for the compliments; I thought 267 was obviously a throwaway joke comment.)


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:28 PM
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I am occasionally nearly overpowered by the urge to touch a strange man's hair. I don't, though. I don't, don't, don't, don't do it.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:29 PM
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279: That should read "SEK will turn on you so long as there ain't a better writer in the room..."

By which I mean, I know my "charms," and their "purview."


Posted by: SEK | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:29 PM
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His urges didn't overpower him, to my knowledge.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:29 PM
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I'm so naive.

As you gain experience of the world, try not to do anything that would require moving to California.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:30 PM
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Incidentally, there's a giant "SEK" spray-painted on the railroad bridge that parallels the yellow line tracks between L'Enfant Plaza and Pentagon stations. I'm wondering if a certain blogger did some tagging after leaving the party.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:31 PM
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Whoops, 258 is a wreck. I blame many beers.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:32 PM
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Whoops, 258 is a wreck. I blame many beers.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:33 PM
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That should read "SEK will turn you on so long as there ain't a better writer in the room..."


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:33 PM
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293: Damn it, I'd link to you if you'd let me. I mean, I'm no ogged, but I'm good for a couple hundred hits a day. Think of all the men seeking office sex you'd meet! (I don't even know why I link to that anymore. I mean, infamy is infamy, no?)


Posted by: SEK | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:33 PM
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297: I can't promise I'll try, but I'll try to try.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:33 PM
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298: I think that was back when SEK exclusively went by his full name, everywhere he went. We wrote emails to him saying "Dear S[----] E[---] K[------], &c. His tag would have taken up a whole storefront.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:35 PM
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287: Surely I aid your cause more by regretting not having met him than by being angry at you.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:35 PM
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I'm wondering if a certain blogger did some tagging after leaving the party.

B. put me up to it.


Posted by: SEK | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:35 PM
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I thought 267 was obviously a throwaway joke comment.

That's all I seem to be good for. That, and irritating LB, Cala, and B.


Posted by: pdf23ds | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:37 PM
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Well, a "B" on the overpass would've been too easy.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:37 PM
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304: It certainly was ... but I hid my "ott ric aufman" in my artistry. I mean, it's not like anyone can read graffiti anyway.

305: Yes, obviously. Why do people forget I'm dumb so frequently?


Posted by: SEK | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:38 PM
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That was eb's comment, pdf.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:39 PM
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308: And "this exit, Bitch" might've come off as an insult to passing motorists.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:39 PM
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297: What? What? Excuse me?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:40 PM
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My email address is w-lfs-n at stanford dot edu, laydeez.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:41 PM
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310: Yes, I know. Imagine the emphasis on "I" in my comment.


Posted by: pdf23ds | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:41 PM
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312: It's a trap!


Posted by: SEK | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:42 PM
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Now's a good time to email me, as I'm a little Michael-style (the original Becks-style).


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:42 PM
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309.2: Because calling someone "deaf and dumb" seems kinda insulting.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:43 PM
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Aw, I was just thinking about Michael. He's really into Harry Potter.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:44 PM
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316: Are you less likely to cockblock yourself when drinking?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:45 PM
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302: Honestly, I'm not sure what's going to happen with my blogging. All kinds of uncertainty in the near future needs to be sorted out.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:45 PM
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317: But when it's true?


Posted by: SEK | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:45 PM
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Can I admit that I never know what anyone's talking about when they say "Becks-style"? Anyone want to help a poor girl out?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:47 PM
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321: Well then, as you see, I'll do it.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:47 PM
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319: When he's drinking, he'll do nothing but call me gay.


Posted by: SEK | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:48 PM
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Never mind. That was easy to find out.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:48 PM
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I'd also like to point out (as I read this thread through) that since I was trustworthy enough to run c0ck@unfogged.com, I ought to be trustworthy enough to run the Unfogged Dating Database.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:48 PM
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Right, because you don't have a vested interest in trying to get in Labs's pants or anything.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:51 PM
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I ought to be trustworthy enough to run the Unfogged Dating Database.

I'll supervise you. First up, decide whether UDD or DUD is a better acronym. Progress report expected by midnight tonight.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:51 PM
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326: But can you guarantee that ogged won't have access, to make fun of us?


Posted by: pdf23ds | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:51 PM
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324 would make a great Belle & Sebastien song.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:52 PM
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That wasn't very funny, was it? Oh well; to bed.


Posted by: pdf23ds | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:52 PM
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329: Or Emerson, who would make sure the read-out was "You have ZERO matches!"


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:52 PM
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can you guarantee that ogged won't have access, to make fun of us?

That won't stop Ben himself from making fun of us.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:55 PM
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Wait, if we all hook up with each other, what will be left to talk about?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:57 PM
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We can compare notes.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 9:58 PM
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That won't stop Ben himself from making fun of us.

What makes you think I would have access to it?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 10:00 PM
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Wait, if we all hook up with each other, what will be left to talk about?

I keep saying this.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 10:01 PM
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Love: kills blogs dead.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 10:03 PM
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And like so much else, everyone ignores you. Poor Ogged.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 10:04 PM
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What makes you think I would have access to it?

I admit I never considered the possibility that you would have your robot butler run the database.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 10:05 PM
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Zero knowledge, baby.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 10:06 PM
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I would let Ben do it if he were lazy enough to farm it out to one of his students.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 10:09 PM
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Oh god, speaking of farming shit out to students. I went to help in PK's classroom today and found myself in the supply room stapling together little booklets for the kids to write their "May words" in. And I realized, jesus, I've been demoted to a T.A. again.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 10:10 PM
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Being a TA for kindergartners sounds more rewarding than being a TA for undergraduates.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 10:13 PM
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Oh no wait, it wasn't the stapling. It was the grading of multiple choice tests. Ye gods.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 10:15 PM
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Multiple choice tests for what, eight-year-olds?


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 10:19 PM
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They should be writing essays.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 10:21 PM
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How many types of eight-year-olds are there?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 10:21 PM
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Six and seven year olds, yes. NCLB: it's not just a bad idea, it's the law.

Seriously, it was kind of heartbreaking marking things wrong when the real problem was clearly that the questions were badly written. Poor kids.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 10:22 PM
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347: They have them do that, too. Seriously. PK has a report due on an animal of his choice at the end of this month.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 10:23 PM
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They should be writing essays

No, it's Los Ángeles. They should be writing éses.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 10:24 PM
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I helped third graders with the Texas standardized test, and the english required to understand the (math) question was so far over their heads that you couldn't really get to the math very well.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 10:24 PM
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Seriously, dudes. I'm totally serious.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 10:25 PM
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350: Is it going to be mice?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 10:27 PM
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A locomotive disembarks from statistical metropolitan area A at 9:00...


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 10:27 PM
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354: Much to my surprise, it's going to be toucans. Go figure. Everything else is always mice.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 10:29 PM
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The first multiple-choice test I took was the GRE.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 10:32 PM
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You'd flunk kindergarten, then.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 10:33 PM
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A locomotive disembarks from statistical metropolitan area A at 9:00...

Excellent.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 10:36 PM
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That all seems awfully advanced for kindergarten. Can the kids really read and write that well?


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 10:37 PM
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Well, actually PK is in first grade. But yes, these days, children are reading by the end of kindergarten, at least in the more affluent schools. PK wasn't reading at the beginning of the year, and his teacher was seriously pushing us to consider holding him back for that reason.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 10:39 PM
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Yeah, I realized after I wrote that that if the kids are six and seven it must be first grade. That makes more sense. I was just a little surprised because my mom teaches kindergarten and there's no way most of her students could take a multiple-choice test on their own, even at the end of the year.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 10:41 PM
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When do the kids these days learn how to blog? Second grade? Is that what's replacing the useless cursive-handwriting lesson (my only C ever, dammit)?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 10:43 PM
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People keep asking me if PK reads my blog yet.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 10:45 PM
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It will be a dark day.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 10:48 PM
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I never learned to write in cursive. I switched schools just before the one's classes were to start and after the other's classes finished. Really hampers me, when I do live reporting.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 10:51 PM
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It'll be a dark day when he starts to troll it, you mean.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 10:51 PM
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When I learned that Pepys kept his diary in shorthand, I thought about trying to learn a modern version, but haven't done so. I write more slowly in cursive than in print and it's always been a big factor in my inability to keep a regular journal.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 11:00 PM
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Cursive* is to be listened to, not written in; you people are masochists.

*at least, like, the old stuff, man


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 11:04 PM
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My dad writes in this psychotic hand that's mostly caps and a few lowercase letters. When I was a kid, I thought it had been some kind of aesthetic choice.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 11:12 PM
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You know, in defense of old-style cursive handwriting instruction, I will say that the letters of my elderly relatives shock me with their legibility.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 11:20 PM
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371: Oh, sure. I think it'd be a great skill to have. I'm just lazy and aware that, for the moment, I don't really need that skill.

Highlight of my professional career: explaining to an older, non-touch-typing co-worker that, "typing is more digital, because you use more digits. And more digital is better, right? Right."


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 11:30 PM
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Where I usually hang out my comments are well within the length-norm; block quotes and references to say wikipedia are also common. Here you people are very concise. Do y'all do this blog from cell phones or Blackberries or what?


Posted by: David | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 11:30 PM
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Everything else is always mice.

Oh, this reminds me - I was at a conference recently and talked to a guy who uses gerbils as a model animal. Boy, they sound great. I actually thought of you and your mouse drama during the conversation and wondered if there was any chance of selling PK on gerbils instead of mice. Did you know they scarcely urinate at all? I didn't.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 11:32 PM
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373: First, we all write down all our comments in cursive hand. Then, Standpipe types them up on Standpipe's blog. Then, we copy and paste. Easy-peasy.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 11:35 PM
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The cursive I learned in grade school degenerated so quickly that by high school my writing was illegible. I had to start printing again, but it was so slow that I actually sat down and went through the alphabet, deciding on a new standard for how I would print each letter in a way that allowed faster transitions, and still use this relearned print style now. It looks fairly weird, and isn't exactly neat, but usually people can read it.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 11:36 PM
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Oh, and as far as "boundaries" go, in my usual milieux we don't accuse each other of being "creepy and threatening" for having slightly eccentric persona, and "outing" one another's persona from elsewhere and draggng in someone's ancient history would be regarded as rude, creepy and bordering on stalkery. Especially since I have no idea who those people are who want to "crusade" against me from a deer blind up a tree, nor do I particularly care as those without honor have nothing to teach me. (I could have made that three or four very short comments but I trust I'm not the only one around here with an adult's attention span.)


Posted by: David | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 11:40 PM
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I wish my beautiful cursive hand conveyed status, as I thought it would when I was younger, but nowadays it just marks me as a prat.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 11:41 PM
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If I told you that you had a beautiful hand, would you be afraid that I'd hold it against you?


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 11:45 PM
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Her hand? Against her?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 11:45 PM
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"Why are you molesting yourself? Why are you molesting yourself?"


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 11:46 PM
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I have trouble reading my own cursive anymore. And I never learned how not to type with two fingers and a thumb: the right index types, the left index works the Shift key, and my right thumb does Space Bar Duty. Imagine how long my comments would be if I could type as quickly as I think. Who's finished Delillo's Underworld?

And 378, my Grandmother's penmanship was GORGEOUS, and she wrote so fast and flowingly even when her arthritis bugged her. I think it's a wonderful skill to make the shortest note a thing of beauty.


Posted by: David | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 11:47 PM
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377: You have to read the entirety of the archives (comments too!) before you comment. Also: no emoticons or analogies. And other rules, rules that you'll stumble upon in your journey. Take a friend. It'll be like a road trip!


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 11:49 PM
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379, I too am confused. I mean, about that, specifically.


Posted by: David | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 11:49 PM
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383, I'm not THAT crazy and I do have somthing like a Real Life. :-)


Posted by: David | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 11:52 PM
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A Real Life is contraindicated, I'm afraid.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 11:53 PM
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379-381.----It's just possible that, objectively speaking, I am a bit of a prat, or that I was, during the period I developed my handwriting.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 11:57 PM
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Off the recent topic, but I just remembered that my first sexual experience was internet based. And it wasn't awkward or stalkery: just posts ending in kissing. We were young, and we exaggerated everything, but it was nice and I'm glad it happened. Not all ip-based relationships are doomed.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 11:57 PM
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To bed.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 05-10-07 11:57 PM
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Wikipedia is not helpful re "prat".

Answers.com says "buttocks".

I'm even more confused.


Posted by: David | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 12:01 AM
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Where you come from, David, it may be common to include citations to wikipedia. But we have more useful resources at our disposal around here.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 12:03 AM
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my first sexual experience was internet based [...] We were young, and we exaggerated everything

The real question is whether you used the <I>, <EM>, or <B> commands.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 12:05 AM
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Can I just say, how much I enjoy reading this thread backwards, from finish to start. It's like Eternal Sunshine but with more antagonists, or like A Brief History of Time, the movie version scored by Philip Glass, except with more references to hooking up.


Posted by: Joseph Kugelmass | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 12:12 AM
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I will say that the letters of my elderly relatives shock me with their legibility.

No doubt. My grandmother is 94, and still she has amazing handwriting. Supposedly she got awards in school for penmanship. She probably weeps for the good old days when she sees that I type letters.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 12:19 AM
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nor do I particularly care as those without honor have nothing to teach me...but I trust I'm not the only one around here with an adult's attention span.)

And here we have WTF meets insulting jackass.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 12:21 AM
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392 is funny.

re: handwriting, mine is fairly legible, and I can write quickly. That's a legacy of thousands and thousands of words in handwritten exams. However, it's not very elegant or nice to look at. Being able to write in an elegant hand would be great, though (and would fit with my general fetishising of bits of the past).*

* 1940s and 50s cameras, mechanical watches, fountain pens, archtop guitars, etc.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 12:27 AM
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492:
We were 13. we used EM everywhere. Or at least I did, in those spaces that understood html. Teenage love demands expression: hyper text markup language provides it.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 12:29 AM
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What's electromagnetism got to do with it?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 12:31 AM
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I never learned to write in cursive. I switched schools just before the one's classes were to start and after the other's classes finished.

Replace "cursive" with "Hebrew" and you have my Terrible Jew Story.


Posted by: SEK | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 12:34 AM
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I was taught cursive, but I'd be hard pressed to prove it.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 12:37 AM
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We could talk about this:

Hundreds of homeless people in Nashville, Tennessee, ate well Wednesday evening -- all in the name of a man who the state put to death just hours earlier.

Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 12:48 AM
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Prisons have a policy of not donating to charities? Thorough.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 12:57 AM
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The dude killed someone in 1981? Jesus. I shouldn't be shocked by this stuff anymore, but still, that's a hell of a long time to get around to the execution.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 12:59 AM
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re: 403

Yeah, it's pretty hard to even think of the guy as substantially the same person after 26 years.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 4:04 AM
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I think of my handwriting about the way ttaM does: quite legible, better after a very short bit of practice, not very elegant.

I was instructed in handwriting laboriously, in Ontario schools in the early sixties. I seem to use cursive more than anybody in my family, or whom I work with; many people only a little younger don't use it at all. My son's teacher made him turn in work in cursive—eighth grade—to better prepare him for writing exams.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 7:03 AM
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I have lovely handwriting as well, and am now worried I may be a prat. all those calligraphy lessons for nothing!


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 8:02 AM
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My handwriting is weird because I got the idea of fonts in my head at age four or so. By five, I was writing lowercase g's with the curly bottom of older fonts. By seven, I was employing ampersands. I started creating different scripts for notes at 11, and by 13 I was filling boring days in class by practicing the alphabet in different styles. My god, I was bored.

When I write on the board in my morning class, I try to employ everything I know about evenness and clarity. By my second class, though, it's turned all cramped and strange. I can write well with effort.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 10:06 AM
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245: Hey!


Posted by: Magpie | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 10:14 AM
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any chance of selling PK on gerbils instead of mice

Gerbils are illegal in California.

"outing" one another's persona from elsewhere and draggng in someone's ancient history would be regarded as rude, creepy and bordering on stalkery.

Cool! Does that mean you're going away now?


Posted by: Magpie | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 10:25 AM
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Hamsters are better than gerbils anyday. They are cuter and have prettier feet, for one thing. They are less likely to eat each other (something gerbils have in common with mice). They bite less, and they're hardier, especially if you get the fancier kind like Russian Black Bears. Also, because they're a little bigger and softer, they're easier for kids to hold.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 10:27 AM
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Gerbils are illegal in California
Huh. Invasive species concerns, I wonder? Oh well.

This, from the link, caught my eye:

domesticated races of rats or mice (white or albino; trained, dancing or spinning, laboratory-reared)

RACES of rats or mice?
Trained?
Dancing or spinning?


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 10:30 AM
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I wonder if the one-drop rule applies to rats. An octaroon sewer rat is still a sewer rat, etc.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 10:31 AM
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410: hm, most of that contradicts what the gerbil guy was telling me. I don't know from personal experience, though.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 10:32 AM
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412: nice


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 10:33 AM
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I guess "races" is a catch-all term that includes "breeds", "strains", what have you.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 10:34 AM
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414: Racist.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 10:36 AM
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410: However, gerbils teach more about the real world. Like, how to eat one's babies completely or in part, and how to navigate with only the legs one has left, and so forth. Also, they're great for shredding clothing. I never did find out if they taste like chicken tho', the kid got tired of them, gave them back to the pet store, and went on to dogs.


Posted by: Biohazard | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 10:41 AM
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nor do I particularly care as those without honor have nothing to teach me

Who let the Klingon in? I said an Open Borders policy would be a disaster.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 10:49 AM
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Gerbils are good because you can keep them in a tank of sawdust and watch them tunnel, and you don't have to clean it out very often, and they're very wriggly and not into being held so you can just tell the kids they don't come out of the tank and then you don't have to deal with finding runaway gerbils.

But it was a bit traumatic when one died and the other one began to eat it, starting at the head. Although after a while my eldest became pragmatic about it - after all, "in the wild, you don't want dead bodies lying about, they'd attract predators. And flies."

When the second one died, my brother was housekeeping, and he put it in the freezer in case the eldest wanted to dissect it. that was nearly 3 years ago, and it's still there. I should probably throw it out.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 11:55 AM
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"housekeeping" s/b "houseSITTING"!


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 11:56 AM
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My cousin had hamsters and they made a mockery of any 'hamsters don't eat each other' nonsense. There was a male and two females. Then one of the females had babies, and the male ate them all. Then one of the females ate the other, and wore her skin as an overcoat. And then the male ate that female, and then killed himself with a combination of overexertion on his wheel and just plain shivering himself to death in some kind of freaked-out fucked-up way.
This was, like, 20 years ago. But I bear the scars to this day.


Posted by: Nakku | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 3:51 PM
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"one of the females ate the other, and wore her skin as an overcoat"

What kind of crazy-ass Silence of the Lambs animals were your cousins raising? Did they make them watch hamster snuff porn on loop or something?

"It puts the lotion on its fur.."
"Nakku Cuz, stop that!"
"Aw, mom."


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 3:54 PM
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They came up with their sick scenarios all by themselves. This was before there even was hamster snuff porn.


Posted by: Nakku | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 3:56 PM
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As far as I know, all rodents will eat their young/each other, given the opportunity.

When I was in grad school, a naive young student (not me!) had a bunch of rats knocked out for surgery, and afterwards, knowing no better, put them all together in a pen for recovery. One by one, as they came to, the alert ones began nibbling on the anaesthetized ones. By the time they were all up, there were several hobbling around on four footless stumps. The shrieks of the naive young student from down the hall brought several of us wise old students running.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 4:02 PM
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So you're telling me that Binks might not have been dead when JarJar started eating his head??? OK, better not tell the kids that one ....


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 5:11 PM
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"Gerbils are illegal in California."

But are gerbils illegal in Richard Gere in California?


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 6:46 PM
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421: I had a pet rat once who was not quite right in the head, who got rippling-muscles superbuff because she did pretty much nothing but running on the wheel all day. Maybe your hamster just needed a more gradual training regimen.


Posted by: Magpie | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 6:48 PM
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s/running/run/


Posted by: Magpie | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 6:49 PM
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Nakku, that was the most fucked-up thing I've ever read.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 6:50 PM
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There's a really good short story by Thom Jones called "Mouses" (appears in Sonny Liston Was a Friend of Mine) about a guy who gets fired from his job, and while sitting at home, figures out he has mice. So he catches a few and puts them on all these drugs and exercise regimens, trying to create a supermouse, before feeding them peanut butter until they die. It's depressing and awful, but, uh, kinda funny.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 6:53 PM
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That's terrible, AWB.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 6:55 PM
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Re. rodents eating each other: this is how we ended up with two separate mouse high rises in one small bathroom, housing five mice. Sigh.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 6:59 PM
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Oh dear. I hope poor PK wasn't home when the mousicide occurred.


Posted by: Magpie | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 7:15 PM
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This is why the all-important distinction between pets and vermin must be respected.


Posted by: DaveL | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 7:21 PM
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This is why I immediately stomp all rodents.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 7:31 PM
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That story still cracks me up.

B, whatever happened to the mouse with the tumor? Is it still around?


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 7:34 PM
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430: There's an old short story, I forget the name, by Roald Dahl about someone who watches a mother hamster eat her young, then later in life has a psychotic episode in which he hallucinates he has been eaten by a woman. The ending is very clever.


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 7:39 PM
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429: That sounds like a challenge.

trying to create a supermouse

It's been done.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 8:02 PM
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The super-muscular German baby is about 8 now. Wonder how he's doing?


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 9:16 PM
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433: It wasn't a -cide; one of the new mice just gnawed a hole in the back of another new mouse. Surprisingly, with a few applications of neosporin (followed by me lying down on the bathroom floor so as not to become ill), the gnawed-on mouse recovered, and now the cannibalistic mouse lives in a different cage with another mouse who she apparently doesn't think looks tasty.

436: Much to my shock, the mouse with the tumor seems not to have had a tumor at all--the lump has disappeared, as far as I can tell, and she's doing fine. She lives with the cannibal's victim and another mouse, and they all seem very happy.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05-11-07 9:23 PM
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Some years ago I read a short story I'd like to find again, about an Englishman staying at a hotel in Finland, or possibly Norway. He looks through the keyhole in a door that connects to the next room and sees a troll (I mean a real Scandinavian troll) swallowing a woman.

It was more magic realism than genre fantasy. Does it sound familiar to anybody?


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 05-12-07 7:32 AM
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That kind of shit happens pretty often, so it could be any of various authors.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 05-12-07 8:14 AM
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Mcmc, I believe you're thinking of "The Troll" by TH White, author of The Once and Future King. It's quite good. It's set in Sweden, btw.


Posted by: David Weman | Link to this comment | 05-12-07 8:18 AM
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the lump has disappeared, as far as I can tell/i>
= one of the other mice ate it for a snack.


Posted by: Nakku | Link to this comment | 05-12-07 8:19 AM
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Whoa, taggy badness


Posted by: Nakku | Link to this comment | 05-12-07 8:20 AM
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Collected here. I read it in modern an anthology, classics of fantasy.
http://www.amazon.com/Maharajah-Other-Stories-Terence-Hanbury/dp/0399126503
http://www2.netdoor.com/~moulder/thwhite/tmaos_b.html


Posted by: David Weman | Link to this comment | 05-12-07 8:21 AM
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Yes! Thanks, David. I don't think I'd ever have connected it with T.H. White, whom I think of as more whimsical than creepy. I remember it as a very good story.

442: Oh, Emerson! I don't know what goes on in the midwest these days, but that sort of thing hardly ever happens in Boston.

(a real Scandinavian troll)
Um.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 05-12-07 3:10 PM
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