If you have to ask I can't explain it to you.

Thanks, Laird.

Could you explain it to him if he did not have to ask?

I always thought that was Satchmo.

Could you explain it to him if he did not have to ask?

Yes.

So take as read that I do not have to ask. Start 'splainin'.

take as read that I do not have to ask

Indeed this assumption would correspond closely to the fact of the matter: I do not have to ask.

Ogged should try body boarding. Bodyboards cheaper than surfboards, and it's easier to get the hang of. Also, Norcal has the added spice of being great white shark turf.

Huh. I always thought body boarding meant you were surfing, using one's body as the board.

I live in ohio.

I always thought body boarding meant you were surfing, using one's body as the board.

Bodyboarding.

I haven't bodyboarded since I was seven, but I remember it being ridiculously fun.

Dude. That beach is a few miles from my house. Now I'm going to have to start watching out for Ogg when I go there.

Bodyboarding is a lot of fun. But you need fins. Be sure to use fins.

Ogged should actually be able to bodysurf proper with only a bit of practice. It's less of a "Whee! I'm going really FAST!" feeling, but more of a "Whoa. I have PERSONALLY caught this wave and made it carry we forward. Dude." feeling. YMMV.

It's a good beach, Hank. Having to cross the 1 on foot is a nice touch. Keeps out the old and the halt.

I've always been convinced that surfers don't care about the waves at all; they just enjoy sitting way out in the water.

Bob. Bob. I'm a duck! Bob.

surfers don't care about the waves at all

Christ. I'm stuck out here in Utah, and I've got to hear from you sons a bitches who have the good waves RIGHT THERE but do nothing.

Get out there and ride some waves people. Fun does not even begin to describe it.

I want to take surfing lessons. Will that make me cooler than Ogged?

Absolutely.

I have surfed Gray Whale Cove. It was a private nudist beach until the state park system took it over.

I checked Pacifica just north of devils slide but didn't go out. The waves were pretty small today.

On a day like today wave selection usually means just picking the biggest waves. You also want to pick a relatively clean wave that won't close out on you.

I prefer lefts

but he couldn't tell me how they decide which waves to let pass and which to try to ride.

Virtue can't be taught, ogged.

I miss california. there are no waves at the beach in narnia.

I blame Narnia's fascist Prime Minister for that. ("Ex-Prime Minister", they say, but who are they trying to fool?)

I never got the hang of surfing. I enjoy bodyboarding. But I really want to try white-water boarding. That looks like tremendous fun.

On an unrelated note, I pick Trevor to be on my Unfogged A Relay.

when the current PM's predecessor was in office, LKY was referred to as "senior minister." now intermediate guy is "senior minister" and LKY has become the more exalted "mentor minister." this can't go on forever, or we'll just wind up with "jade emperor minister" or something.

In China they get assigned constellations in Heaven when they pass on, you know. He'll bump some less worthy old-time minister from his constellation, and the poor guy will have to return to earth and take over a small city or a mountain or something.

Learn to Surf Ogged. Meet people lots of fun, easy-going people from whom you may learn, and with whom you might copulate.

fuck. people

Yeah, Ogged would squeal with delight in the arms of a Jeff Bridges type dude.

Fun does not even begin to describe it.

I've heard this.

Is this a good place to register a query: I seem to have done something to my hand. I'd like to hear that this sort of thing happens normally, and passes.

Last night I espied my left wrist notably aching; noted this morning as well. An hour later, when, uh, twisting the top of a garbage bag to put outside? Major shooting pain through my hand. It persists whenever I use this hand, to the point that I've wrapped the wrist/hand in a bandage and can barely use it without this shooting pain, which seems to relate to grasping endeavors, use of the thumb.

This is cramping my style and worrying me somewhat. Like, do I have arthritis alla sudden? I can't for the life of me remember anything I did yesterday to account for it. Meanwhile there are things to do, and I could barely hold the grapes and wizard strawberries to cut them in half this morning for fruit salad.

Thoughts in particular about what to do, i.e. ice? tight bandage wrap? appreciated. I don't know what the problem is, so don't know how to treat it. obviously I can still type without a problem.

I espied my left wrist notably aching

I question your verb choice. And I'm not a doctor. But it doesn't sound at all like arthritis. More like a strained tendon. I do believe that rubbing the painful area (to promote blood flow) and ice (to relieve inflammation) are called for.

You cut your grapes in half?

Too much typing does cause problems.

"Espied" was a reasonable choice. It, uh, dawned on me last night, okay? My gaze wandered .. to my wrist.

Ice, I suspected.

One cuts one's grapes in half for certain purposes for the same reasons one might want to cut cherry tomatoes in half. Squirt you in the eye, baby, dare ya to spear that thing with a fork!

Sounds like tendonitis or carpal tunnel. I prescribe ice and bandages and rest.

My understanding is that for women masturbation is a less frequent cause of carpal tunnel than for men.

I said left hand, John. I'm right-handed.

Variety is the spice of life.

(Which has nothing to do with flavoring food; 'spice' is the plural of 'spouse')

ogged: So. Are you the big kahuna?

Surfer Dude: What? Leave me alone.

ogged: No, seriously. You want to ride this wave?

Surfer Dude: That's not the way I roll, dude.

ogged: [to self] I'm totally blogging this.

You dudes should try vibrators.

also, a good topic to talk about with chix

its like they think you've seen into their soul

I've always been convinced that surfers don't care about the waves at all; they just enjoy sitting way out in the water.

There's no surfing in Dorchester Bay.

Woo ocean!

Are you Sidekicking from the beach? Are you bored yet? I'm going tomorrow.

Damn it.

35: I'm with you on the diagnosis and treatment tho' I'd add some NSAIDs for a few days if those are tolerated well.

47: NSAIDS? Ibuprofen? Right.

Godfuckingdammit, I'm trying not to freak out. I really need to make black bean soup this evening, and the chopping proves a challenge.

Only thing for it is to listen to Peter Gabriel.

Thank you all.

Only thing for it is to listen to Peter Gabriel.

Kinda like dealing with a headache by cutting yourself?

49: heh, uh, well, no. He's bigger than me.

Bigger than I, parsimon.

49, 50:

Wait, Josh, you think that Peter Gabriel is a negative force? He is ambient through my house right now!

48: Ibuprofen, Ketoprofen, whatever your stomach dislikes the least.

I assumed you were playing Peter Gabriel to turn your brain into mush, so that you wouldn't feel any pain. What are you playing? Your Eyes? Are you holding a candle aloft with your good hand?

54 gets it. (Although "Sledgehammer" is a great song, if filthier than one might think at first blush.)

I am listening to an old tape with Gabriel's So backed with Security.

It doesn't turn my brain to mush in the slightest.

It has counterpoint. His vocals dance as though another instrument. Sometimes they say things like:

I hold the line.

It's beautiful.

As others have said, sound like some kind of tendon/inflammatory problem. Rest, ice, compression and ibuprofen are the standard things.

I'm not a doctor (obviously), although I've suffered from these problems a fair bit [lengthy guitar practice leads me to a fair bit of familiarity with left hand/wrist pain].

57: I get those sort of pains after a long session of wrenching on cars, bikes, or other recalcitrant machinery. The NSAIDS play nicer in one's innards with lots of water and food to keep them company IMX.

For heebie:

Briney used to think carp were ugly. "But now, I think they look pretty good," he says, laughing, noting that they bring "about $4 a fish."

parsimon, what works for me is spending time with my arms relaxed by my side, with my hand dangling freely (so not resting in your lap or on a table or armrest). For me, it seems to increase the bloodflow back into my hand.

If you rest it, the problem should go away. If you don't rest it, you can aggravate it worse, so that you just end up having to rest it for longer.

60 -- Cut it out! I am chopping onions, garlic, green peppers and carrots for black bean soup.

But okay, I know. I asked to be told. For what it's worth, I'm making this food early so that I can apply ice this evening. The ice helps a great deal.

Again, thank you all. I get it. Stop and rest. I kind of like the melting ice dripping down my arm, except when I don't.

You should have offered your sympathy that the poor thing was having to surf crummy little waves in water temperatures that require a full wetsuit. The dedication is impressive, though.

I have to agree, DaveL. It was cold even out of the water, and these guys would paddle out, wait a good ten minutes, then surf a little wave for about five seconds. Those five seconds must be one hell of a rush.

They're not, though. I suppose it's slightly better than not surfing at all if you really, really live to surf, but it ain't all that. I do what surfing I do with a kayak rather than a board, so maybe I'm missing something, but the guys who really love kayak surfing get about as jazzed up about that as the board surfers do, so I don't really think so.

Charlie don't surf.

Sometimes carp'll tunnel, but usually they swim.

45 - No! Not bored! I spent most of the time swimming in the ocean, despite it being veeery cold. And then we played volleyball with a yoga ball in the pool.

Woot!

Everybody! Just gotta say, best news:

Beeg beeg storm coming in! Beeg wind! the trees are whipping in the wind to accompany the black bean soup which has whipped me. or my hand. Thunder.

Smilin' at you all. All the windows are open.

She says she masturbates with her right hand. I can't completely understand the code here, though.

18: B, have you seen this?

I have a small usage nitpick to add on to ogged's comment in 51.

I've noticed people using effect as a verb (not in this thread, but in others) when they really mean affect. Effect is a perfectly good verb meaning "to bring about," as in, "Attlee effected several important health reforms."

See this.

68 -- big storm here, too. Lots of electricity.

Magpie, thanks for the link. Hmm, I'd have to take a weekend and go to San Diego all by myself...

parsimon, I think you should probably get really drunk. painful hand, hmmm...I'm thinking cognac. how about a nice sidecar, 2 parts cognac to 1 part lemon juice and 1 part cointreau?

I want to take surfing lessons.

I'm with B. I couldn't watch people do this without wanting to get in on it. If I lived near a coast, I'd totally take lessons. I've done some surf-canoeing, but I bet it's more fun in a kayak.

(Although "Sledgehammer" is a great song, if filthier than one might think at first blush.)

The fruitcage is a beautiful part of the human body, not something to be ashamed of.

Parsimon, another thing for carpal tunnellish symptoms I just thought of is to do careful wrist-strengthening exercises---later on, obviously, when the immediate trouble has subsided. I used to do flamenco hands (lotus flower opening! lotus flower closing!) to work through some of my wrist pains.

I talked to a friend last night who asked if I could close the fingers of my left hand to my palm -- yes. He said, then not carpal tunnel syndrome, the carpal tunnel being, well, a tunnel in your wrist through which the .. carpals .. are connected.

I believe the terms commonly used for these things are a little vague.

But yes, strengthening exercises, okay. Not yet. I'll take Alameida's advice if I can figure out how to open the wine bottle later.

Just smash the neck of the bottle against the counter edge.