"Research" is such a restrictive term. I feel I've opened up a whole new arena of experimentation which I call "Monkey Torture".
You might want to read about Judge Halverson in Las Vegas. She seems to have some interesting ideas about how to treat the help.
Sometimes I drive the interns right up to the edge of the forest and pretend I'm going to let them go. Then I turn the car right around and drive home!
Perhaps wiser to find the kid a supervisor who understands the value of coffee?
5: do you have indoor interns or do you let them out at night?
They're allowed in the pneumatic tube complex, but I wouldn't say they're really allowed outdoors.
(5 -> 2)
Introduce him to your Indian manservant. Obvs.
Just be careful not to let them get to any place that's warm and dry 'cause IMX it's hell to get them out again.
10: easiest way is to have the pneumatic tube complex floodable in sections.
Just make him feel useful, put him in charge of sounding the alertness horns every few minutes. Bonus: He will start to annoy everyone else as much as he annoys you.
One thing interns like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little intern to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.
Tell him you're almost 100% positive the boss already checked the Intern food pellets for melamine.
"My staple remover is broken. Toss me that intern!"
When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a intern.
If interns screamed, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time for no good reason.
I believe in making the world safe for our interns, but not our interns' interns, because I don't think interns should be having sex.
One thing interns like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little intern to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down."
Arthegall, that's the awesomest.
Not to be all Standpipe-y, but it's not too awesome, 'cause I'm mainly quoting here. It's kinda like the poetry game.
Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make an intern look like a deer.
I saw Standpipe quoting The State just today. And he thought nobody else watched it...
21: If you don't have any coral, you can make do with PVC pipe. You can even use duct tape, if you are worried about spatter from the wood screws, but the effect is less true to life, being somewhat floppy.
Go, you interns, go go go!
Go, you interns, don't be slow!
Or I'll lose lots of dough
Probably the earliest interns were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.
Also, does anyone know the international sign for kabuki theater?
This vacation I'll break bottles. With my ass.
And here we are again. Heebie's ass is the Hitler of Unfogged.
No, I'm Kerry Kinney. Actually, I interviewed her when I was in college.
Just remember: they say that every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings. But every time an intern naps, an angel is set on fire.
I was just thinking of the immortal words of ogged's intern, who said, "whose balls were on my forehead?".
Aw, I want an intern. When you're done with him, can I have him?
. . . And on Friday, when the intern showed up at the office yet again, Ogged put his arm on the intern's shoulders and said, "You don't come here for the work experience, do you?"
FL: Looks like the gimp's sleepin'.
Ogged: Well you'll jjust have to go wake him up now, wontcha?
Maybe in order to understand interns, we have to look at the word itself: "Interns". Basically, it's made up of two separate words- "int" and "erns". What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's why so are interns.
"You're really not an intern until you get a stain on your shirt."
That will keep him awake.
"You're really not an intern until you get a stain on your shirt."
That will keep him awake.
I was an intern recently and everyone said i did a great job. 80% of hte time i posted on message boards, including this one.
4 Wow. Streuber also objected to being called "the evil one" and "the anti-Christ" by the judge.
Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto some intern's neck, and the intern screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing.
You may kill me, either on purpose or by not making sure that all the surfaces in my cage are safe to lick. But you can't kill an idea. And that idea is: me chasing your interns, with a big wooden mallet.
Interns can be useful in rounding up animal pests.
Of all the tall tales, I think my favorite is the one about Ogged and the interchangeable interns.
As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was very pleasurable - until I realized it wasn't a nectarine at all, but AN INTERN'S HEAD!!
Not to be all Standpipe-y
I often type "standpipie" in the little box.
But, an eponym, for me? You're entirely too kind. I cannot accept it.
just to get this right because I know that English English and USian often have different words for things; what you call an "intern" is the same thing as what we call a "gimp", isn't it?
re: 45
I believe this to be correct, yes. Also, unpaid posh skivvy ...
Meanwhile, we can now see who's been pursuing his "acting career" all this time instead of posting.
Scream like a parrot, when I put your big USian head in a vise!
I've just asked and apparently what we call a "gimp" is what the Yanks call a "geek" or "graduate trainee", and an "intern" is roughly equivalent to a "work experience kid".
To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the interns hit each other.
49: Stateside, a gimp is either a person with a leg injury/disability or an S&M submissive.
Yes, I think it's the second sense which carries over to describe someone on the graduate training program.
54: Ah. Yes, that stands to reason.
First they came for the interns, and I didn't say anything, because actually that Unfogged thread was pretty funny ...
I can still recall old Mister Barnslow getting out every morning and nailing a fresh load of tadpoles to the old board of his. Then he'd spin it round and round, like a wheel of fortune, and no matter where it stopped he'd yell out, "Tadpoles! Tadpoles is an intern!" We all thought he was crazy. But then, we had some growing up to do.
I call shenanigans.
I can still recall old Mister Barnslow getting out every morning and nailing a fresh load of interns to the old board of his. T "Interns! Interns is a winner!" We all thought he was crazy. But then, we had some growing up to do.
I remember that one fateful day when Ogged took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the blog, aren't I?" "Well," said Ogged, "you never were really ON the blog. You made that pseudonym you're using out of old towels and obscure Spenser references, and your jokes are just recycled jokes from other people. You show up in a thread and then either incoherently s/b other comments and make us redact you to get it back, or you try to hijack the thread with programming references at inappropriate times." It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought, something is brewing inside the head of this Ogged. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.