Is it possible to feel bad for Paris Hilton?

Of course it is. What significance you assign to that feeling is a separate matter.

I'll say further that to practice suspending one's empathy is a bad idea. You might get good at it.

Jack Nicholson certainly is terrifying.

"One might…", for more better archness.

I suspend my empathy using an assortment of wires and hooks. Is this a bad idea?

Julia Louis-Dreyfuss of "Seinfeld" is richer than Paris Hilton. Fact The Dreyfuses are right up with the Rothschilds on the Elders of Zion list.

But she doesn't get all that envy shit, simply because she's apparently not a horrible person.

Is that fair? Shouldn't we envy and hate all billionaires impartially?

.

3 -- But not as terrifying, per the non-Jim Henley, as your average politician.

Dayum. That was cringeriffic. I felt kinda bad for Paris, but actually worse for the comedienne/mc making the jokes.

6: She doesn't get all that envy shit because she's famous for something other than being rich, to the point where most people don't actually know she's rich.

I don't quite feel bad for Hilton looking at that clip, but Silverman comes off as tackier than usual. Plus, it's going to really suck when Hilton has her killed.

actually worse for the comedienne/mc making the jokes

Howcome? (That's Sarah Silverman, by the way.)

The prison bars/penis joke doesn't work.

Have you seen a penis, ogged?

I think that we should stay away from the Elders of Zion part, but I think that fairness requires that we expose "Elaine" for who she really is.

No, it really isn't. I love Silverman -- just watched Jesus Is Magic last weekend -- and thought that was a perfect take down. I love the reaction shot, too.

I felt bad for a tiny bit, and then I remembered that Paris Hilton is a horrible human being who will spend the rest of her life eating and shitting hundred dollar bills with the same sycophantic phonies who caused her that momentary twinge of discomfort, and I'm still uninsured.

Nope, empathy still not available...

Hard for me to imagine what tackier than usual would be for Silverman, and that certainly wasn't it.

Schadenfreude can be a form of empathy.

Paris's terrible experience is not unique to her.

Paris's terrible experience is available on x-rated video.

I'm uninsured, too, and I feel sorry for myself to the appropriate degree, but I feel LCD empathy for Paris Hilton. I've broken rules I've known I should be following. She deserves what she gets, sure, but as much as (and no more so than) plenty of other irresponsible people. A brat, no different than any other brat, except way, way hotter. "Horrible human being", I dunno.

11: I guess because if I imagine myself on stage telling mean jokes about someone who's about to go to jail, to the delight of a roaring, bloodthirsty crowd, it makes me pretty uncomfortable. Despite my ferocious, slash-and-burn online persona, I guess I'm a softie at heart. Also, the thought of going to jail scares the crap out of me.

Is Sarah Silverman someone I should know?

Is Sarah Silverman someone I should know?

Yes, yes, yes. Go watch Jesus Is Magic.

I agree with 20. This would be appropriate if Paris were up on a dais and this was a "roast".

Paris is a horrible person, sure, but it must have been just awful for her to hear everyone clapping and cheering for her suffering. The jokes themselves weren't so very mean; the audience response was something else.

Go watch Jesus Is Magic.

No, don't. Only if you think you'd like it.

except way, way hotter.

Oh, here we go. PH is not attractive.

No, don't. Only if you think you'd like it.

Only if you have a sense of humor.

23: that's the harsh part. The clip features one moderately clever joke, but the real insult is the way everyone cheers when SS broaches the topic in the first place.

OT: Did you guys discuss the debates last night somewhere sneaky? I swear I used to think this was a political blog.

I swear I used to think this was a political blog.

Wrongly!

I watched about two minutes of the debate and decided I really didn't want to hear it.

It's too goddamn early for debates.

Hmmph.

Wow. Talk about connecting with the crowd.

OT: Has an awards-show host ever worn such an unflattering ensemble? It takes a lot to make me notice.

I love the reaction shot, too.

The reaction shots are the best part. In the first, Hilton looks amused to watch someone talking about her; by the second one she looks ready to claw Silverman's eyes out.

I suppose it's possible to feel sorry for Paris Hilton, but I'm not sure I want to make an effort to find out.

I love Sarah Silverman, but I thought that was mean. Poor Paris!

I don't get the "horrible person" thing.

I don't care which candidate did the best job of saying certain things. Every piece of political news that ever becomes "news" is extremely trivial. It all just depresses me.

Why are debates proceeding one after the other, seven months before the primaries, which themselves are nine months before the election? (roughly) This horse-race thing depresses me too.

Paris is a horrible person, sure, but it must have been just awful for her to hear everyone clapping and cheering for her suffering.

That's where the "paid-for phony friends" part comes in. If this were some former friend of Hilton's going to jail, and Hilton were in the audience, Hilton would be clapping and cheering too. Hence the sense of poetic justice, even for a lame-ass thirty-day stint in jail.

Did you watch the MTV awards, ogged?

Apparently Jessica Biel made an appearance with Ms. Silverman

I don't get the "horrible person" thing.

I think people think she's a horrible person because of the video in which she says "nigger" and "I'm black and I steal" and insults Jews and gays.

The audience response was especially cruel because those people are the closest thing to coworkers Paris Hilton has. It was like Ogged's company's holiday party.

39: But Sarah Silverman does that too!

Did you watch the MTV awards, ogged?

No.

It's funny when Sarah Silverman does it.

They're not exactly Paris's coworkers. These are the talented people Paris is trying to emulate.

And also, what's with dramatizing a thirty-day prison sentence? Yes, it's a "real" jail; yes, she might actually have to experience prison just like ordinary mortals; but it's only thirty days. If she were a nonviolent (non-celebrity) drug offender, she'd been rotting in jail for years.

You people are just prejudiced against the stupid and unfunny.

I hate Paris Hilton barely more than I hate Sarah Silverman.

And also, what's with dramatizing a thirty-day prison sentence?

It'll be harder for her to get financial aid.

She also made some kind of massively ignorant remark about geography, like not knowing whether London and Paris were in different countries.

I could go on. That simpering Zellweger smile. Everything. Even poor she'd be awful.

I have to confess that in my circles a few weeks in jail is not unspeakable torture.

You people are just prejudiced against the stupid and unfunny.

If that were true, why so much praise for Silverman?

If she were a nonviolent (non-celebrity) drug offender, she'd been rotting in jail for years.

Yeah, this is pretty much why I can't drum up a lot of compassion. She had pretty much every golden chance, getting away with shit because she's rich and famous, whereas pretty much any other schlump would have already been in jail.

And when she gets out, she'll have the reformed sinner mantle designed by Gucci to wear while she makes another dumb reality show. Boo fucking hoo.

Didn't do Martha Stewart any harm. Paris will come back more horrible than ever, but with a veneer of toughness.

If it were a private prison she could buy it and fire everyone. Shit, if it really is a private prison, that's what she'll do.

Wonder if she'll make herself one of those jailhouse tattoos. "Love" and "hate" across the knuckles would be cute on her.

Drunk driving is a very bad thing to do.

39: I'd forgotten about that.

It would be great if she walks into gen-pop and shivs the first person she sees, a la Omar in season 4. That's a Paris video I'd pay to see. It seems unlikely, though, since she's spending 23 of 24 hours in solitary confinement (with phone access)—not exactly a blue-collar month in county.

This probably drove the point home that she should've spent her last day of freedom with her family instead of in the company of a bunch of celebrities who look down on her.

If that were true, why so much praise for Silverman?

Because of Cookie Party.

Which goes on which knuckle? Or is there a difference of opinion?

It depends on whether or not you're a good liar.

55: That's not funny.

55: And because she's a me-mosexual!

Which goes on which knuckle?

Don't tell me you've never seen Night of the Hunter?

I dunno, I hate this whole game where we're supposed to get all worked up about some celebrity feud or celebrity misdemeanor. There will always be another sinning celebrity. We're supposed simultaneously to enjoy her (usually her) attractiveness/sexiness, critique her sexiness/attractiveness, get a transgressive thrill out of her behavior, and also get a "Punishment Makes Us Feel Righteous" thrill out of watching the fall. Then of course, an "I Feel Sorry For Her" thrill out of the new saga. It's all so pre-fab, just part of the big media thrill ride that we have instead of actual politics or social movements in this country. That's not to say that I don't get sucked into it, though....how can one not have some kind of opinion of Paris Hilton.

As far as her stupid racism goes: well, she's a semi-nouveau-riche spoiled white girl who's always in the public eye. She's going to say whatever comes into her head, and it's going to reflect the prevailing but largely unspoken attitudes of many of the extremely wealthy. She's a puppet, a thing, a warped little media toy. If the people who got upset about her overt racism made a similar fuss about structural racism or the blackface frat parties that seem to be in vogue now or the hatred it's okay to express towards people from the Middle East...well, then I'd think their outrage about Paris Hilton actually meant something. Otherwise, it's just them having fun letting themselves feel shocked, shocked.

Sarah Silverman, now there's a gorgeous girl.

I don't really understand why anyone finds Silverman particularly funny. As she seems to partake of something like the same sort of unfair advantage that Hilton does--the rules are different for the attractive and the rich--it's distinctly off-putting when she takes shots at Hilton.

Frowniepuss! Where've you been?

Sarah Silverman, now there's a gorgeous girl.

If you're a Baby Bel cheese, you have a chance.

63: Why, Wolfie, I've been to and fro in the world and up and down in it, where else?

(It's grant season here at Large Midwestern University, and yea verily I've been mostly on the NIH website.)

Funny you should ask. I just finished writing a post for SG (which won't go up until 11) about unwanted internet celebrity, prompted by this post over at Twisty's. Admittedly, Paris has courted celebrity most of her life, so not the same situation, but public humiliation sucks regardless, I should think.

So yeah, I feel bad for her. Not b/c she's going to jail, but b/c that must have been a terrible moment and I, at least, am not a horrible person.

Everything Frowner just said is correct.

Also, what Frowner said.

I've been to and fro in the world and up and down in it, where else?

Have you been inside and out, below, above, without relief seeking lost love on the NIH webbage?

County jail wasn't so bad. Lots of macaroni. We played poker for cups of water, loser drinks.

Not impressed with Silverman.

67 and 68 are correct.

Why is it that the media acts like people who express hate for Donald Rumsfeld or Hillary Clinton are taking things way too seriously, but people expressing hate for Paris Hilton or Derek Jeter have the right priorities?

I just want this for all the world: When you think "Derek Jeter," you think, "world's handsomest baseball glove."

A conspiracy to keep us all uninformed? And what Frowner said. I'm sure Hilton's a bad person, but I can throw a rock from my office and hit a worse one, and if there's any value to my hating people for being bad people, I might as well stick with the ones I know. And mostly I don't think there is much of any value there.

By refusing to be a horrible person, B. is denying common humanity. Typical mealy-mouthed B. action.

You all are Puritans. Random hatred is a normal emotional need, like sexual desire.

69: Yes. And the maggot's weak clamour is particularly pronounced, I've found, in the publication instructions. Not nearly so many woodlice as one is led to expect, though. But, er, good-bye to all that until the next round of submissions, and on with the Unfogging!

61: Not really. It's just mildly pleasing to see someone fall through the pink cloud carpet of money and public relations once in a while, and actually be held responsible for something she's done, however trivially. Especially someone who wears an "I'm Paris Hilton and I can do whatever I want" t-shirt. Yeah, it's like pro wrestling, and the narrative will no doubt include a tedious Paris-Reborn episode, but I plan to skip that part.

Obviously it would be a much, much better story if it involved George Bush, Dick Cheney the voice of God, and a very large meteorite, but one can't have everything.

Dick Cheney the voice of God

Please tell me you forgot a comma.

Ugh, yes I did.

I can throw a rock from my office and hit a worse one

I wish I worked in a place like that. I'd keep a wastebasket full of rocks next to my desk. Thunk! Judgment rendered and entertainment had, in one easy step!

74: If it'll make you feel better, I was typically rude to my mother in law most of last week.

I agree that the comma suggests a more desirable and orthodox result but I read it without thinking of it.

75: Near random hatred is good, right, and necessary. Completely random hatred is sort of scary. As Ned suggested above, Silverman is guilty of many of the same sins as Hiltion, so cheering her for ripping into Hilton does make the hate seem insufficiently moored.

As I download my daily quota of Japanese prints, I come across Suzuku Harunobu's "Young Women Struggling for a Fan" 1767 and think of Hilton and Silverman in a cagematch.

Damn that's a good one. MFA of Boston, Spaulding collection, around pg 51

I return to "Elaine". I contain multitudes; I can hate lots of people without running dry.

This is turning to Kotsko.

60: Night of the Hunter is wholly superfluous in this day and age -- one needs only have seen the Seinfeld episode with the Night of the Hunter reference in it.

86:Shit, Emerson, I infamously hate entire nations.
My hate provides substance to the ephemeral and imaginary, things exist because I hate them.

But I don't hate Paris. She is too small, too easy. It would also be social.

87 86 s/b 85

Hating Paris is my concession to public opinion. "Elaine" is my personal project.

86 would be true if watching Seinfeld were capable of answering any worthwhile need at all.

Aw come on b-wo, Seinfeld has entertained millions! Night of the Hunter has way fewer devotees -- it would be trounced roundly at the polls. What do you have to say about my "one needs" in 86 -- is it proper?

According to a site I just visited, there are many NOTH references, so Seinfeld is inessential. Apparently Sideshow Bob was once shown with LUV and HAT, with a bar over the A, on his three fingers.

What care I for the polls? What care you, sir—are you a democrat?

83: Well, Silverman isn't guilty of the same sins, though. Making use of offensive humour isn't the same thing as actually having offensive opinions.

94: Looked into her heart and saw that she was a good person, did you?

Got it in one.

Also, Silverman's butt hasn't been broadcast as extensively as Paris's.

Paris'sHeebie's

Pro wrestling is exactly right; go with the flow, people. It's like you don't even realize how not fun you are anymore. Last night's moment was interesting because it was the closest anything in the saga of Paris Hilton has come to involving a real human emotion. Even jail is just going to be some down time.

LeBron!

Pro wrestling is exactly right;

You need a hero for your heel.

I'm hoping some future Robert Lee and Jerome Lawrence will write The Night Hilton Spent in Jail.

Sarah Silverman is the Stone Cold Steve Austin of our time.

I could see her being charged with domestic abuse.

10

How could you be a star actress in a long running megahit TV series and not be rich?

I'm with Frowner. Lose your TVs and your tabloids and free your minds from this sort of shit. Life's way to short to spend it hating on the irrelevant.

It's like you don't even realize how not fun you are anymore.

So precisely right.

"Life's way to short to spend it hating on the irrelevant," he said in a blog comment.

It take five minutes a day, tops, to keep up with the Paris Hilton/Lindsay Lohan stories. Let's not pretend that anyone who follows it or has an opinion is wasting his life away. That's a species of "and I don't even have a television" snobbery. I understand if it's not your kind of fun--I don't like pro wrestling, but I also don't say "but it's not even real."

The sequel to The Night Hilton Spent in Jail: Inherit the Business.

"Life's way to short to spend it hating on the irrelevant," he said in a blog comment.

I'm a lover, not a hater. Although I should maybe spend some time learning the difference between "to" and "too".

107 is really not a fun comment at all.

That's a species of "and I don't even have a television" snobbery.

Is it possible to report non-ownership of a television simply as a fact, or is the snobbery inherent?

107: Sure, it's as real as lots of other sorts of entertainment, and sure, entertaining shit is a big part of life. But there's lots of silly entertainment out there that's less corrosive than celebrity culture.

111 -- well you would need to lose the "even", for a start.

Is it possible to report non-ownership of a television simply as a fact

If you're answering the question "do you have a television" or "what did you think of such-and-such on tv" then you may so report.

Okay, thanks. And I'm assuming I should leave out the ", asshole."

I'm with Frowner. Lose your TVs and your tabloids and free your minds from this sort of shit.

I don't even have a television.

And I certainly don't read tabloids. You can't avoid this shit. I care as much about Paris Hilton and her PR-generated narrative as I care about, oh, minor league baseball, but if one is going to be forced on my attention by her publicists then I'm not that sorry that it involves jail. She who would ride the media tiger must, um, provide it with large cans of cat food.

I actually do have a TV, just not a cable connection or antenna. Stuff that's worth watching is mostly available on DVD, and reduced exposure to marketing and related crap is good for your soul (aka frees up time for blog comments).

I have a TV and cable. And I'm eagerly awaiting the day when they get to making shows about "the Next Top Model" from really obscure countries, like Myanmar or Mauritania or the Seychelles, which I calculate will be sometime within the next four years.

But the whole celeb circus around people like Hilton just turns me off. I don't mind people getting rich and famous for actually having some sort of a talent or accomplishment -- even if we're talking Hasselhoff or Philip Michael Thomas -- but when you have people getting famous for being heiresses (or just the momentary friends of heiresses, cf. Kim Kardashian) you're really tempting fate.

Hilton is famous not for being an heiress, but for being a public spectacle. It's just that being a spectacle requires a certain amount of capital, and heiresses have it.

119: Hilton is famous not for being an heiress, but for being a public spectacle.

Right, just so. Bad development.

I don't have a television. Of course, I do share my digs with someone who owns a giant fancy TV plus a spectrum of up-to-the-minute DVD-watching equipment. I recommend this path highly, since you get all the moral superiority and the television.

I used to think I was too clever for TV, but lately I've come to realize that I'm too stupid and my attention span is to short. I read very fast indeed, and so I get impatient with television programs, but this isn't a sign of wit. Knowing nothing about the corporate zeitgeist isn't actually an especially smart strategy. And it also means that I'm absolutely gobsmacked when I do see television--can't tune it out at all, because I'm not accustomed to its shiny vulgarity.

121: "to short" s/b "too short". Also, the sentences should be less choppy. Read them that way, please.

It's not a development though. If anything, Paris Hilton is the Marie Antoinette of our time.

. If anything, Paris Hilton is the Marie Antoinette of our time.

I suspect that Marie Antoinette was not, during her life, Marie Antoinette.

The Antoinette comparison has occurred to me. Of course nothing new under the sun and all that.

TV on DVD (or by illicit download) is my favorite thing ever. I love serials and hate having things all chopped up by commercials. I also am not fond of my own tendency to get sucked into clicking around to see what is on, and do love having some control over whether I want to watch a bunch of episodes all in a row or to space them out at my own tantalizing pace. We watch on the computer.

Princess Di was the Marie Antoinette and Ann Boleyn of out time, but feminazi PC kept Charles from doing the right thing. And what a long, lovely neck she had, too.

If you read anything about the actual Marie Antoinette, you can't help but feeling sorry for her. On the other hand, if you read anything about the actual Paris Hilton, you can't help but wanting to walk up to her and spit in her eye.

Frowner, sanctity of off-blog communications and that, but did you get the Google Groups invite I sent you?

129: Um, er, yes...er, grants and events and guest speakers and domestic crises and I'll get caught up tonight mumble mumble general feeling of shame and inadequacy mumble.

Snarkout, photobucket is the official Unfogged venue for that sort of thing.

I had the same judge as Paris Hilton, for approximately the same crime. I recieved much stiffer initial sanction than she did (28 days community service, 6 months of classes). Although I was less than perfect in meeting my court obligations on time, I managed to avoid being sentenced to jail. He's a perfectly fair, reasonable judge. She will spend her time in Lynwood in isolation, so the real danger of LA jails (the rest of the population) will not affect her. She will probably get even more unjustified fame out of the deal.

I see no reason to feel sorry for her at all.

She will spend her time in Lynwood in isolation

Like, total lockdown? That seems a bit extreme in relation to the crime.

Marie Antoinette had, like, actual influence in the power struggles among court factions.

133: Like, total lockdown?

Bit of a surprise she didn't manage this, actually.

From the CNN article:

"[she] will be housed in the "special needs" unit of the 13-year-old jail, separate from most of its 2,200 inmates. The unit contains 12 two-person cells reserved for police officers, public officials, celebrities and other high-profile inmates.

Like other inmates in that unit, Hilton will take her meals in her cell and will be allowed outside the 12-foot-by-8-foot space for at least an hour each day to shower, watch TV in the day room, participate in outdoor recreation or talk on the telephone. No cell phones or BlackBerrys are permitted in the facility, even for visitors."

That seems less extreme than letting her be beaten by the other inmates.

What was presidential about that? You're ashamed of reading CNN?

It is a serious fucking disgrace that any prison inmate should expect to be beaten or raped. It is a disgrace that "special" inmates should get preferential protection. It is a disgrace that the public's hatred for Paris Hilton will distract us from the shittacular prison conditions for ordinary people. And the only thing that could possibly make me respect Paris Hilton at all, even a little bit, is if after this stay in prison she begins a serious, sustained, and self-sacrificial advocacy campaign for average schmucks who end up in prison.

137: Surely it was for the sake of continuity with 132.

137 see 132

Whoops, I did miss 132.

137: keeping a consistent persona for the thread, I guess. I'll try to append an embarrassing fact about my DUI to each comment from now on.

My BAC at the time of my arrest? 0.0! That was a real conversation starter in my mandated group sessions.

A non-alcohol intoxicant, or some wackier story?

Jackmormon:

The most disgraceful thing is that people seem to relish in the possible raping of prisoners.

An assortment of non-alcohol intoxicants, but mostly the problem was that I fell asleep and hit a telephone pole.

Remember to sleep, kids! It's not just for every third day anymore.

I know someone who did that, minus the intoxicants. I can say nice things about the crumple zones in the VW Jetta -- I saw the car afterward, and it was all fucked up in a very scary looking way, but no harm done to the driver. Wear your seatbelts, kids!

Yes, the safety systems in modern cars are most impressive. I broke the telephone pole in half, but only suffered a broken collarbone and some bruising. My passenger was bruised but okay. Thanks, Infiniti!

I was once at a very duderific party where a lot of models had been hired to balance the gender ratios. The models all had the same slack-jawed, doe-eyed look at Paris has popularized, and I realized that while I found it hott on Paris, it just didn't play the same on women who couldn't have me killed with one phone call.

I think people think she's a horrible person because of the video in which she says "nigger" and "I'm black and I steal" and insults Jews and gays.

YES.

I for one will feel just fine hating on this bitch who is like some kind of Frankenstein composed of the very worst traits this country has to offer. To be born into one of the wealthiest families in the wealthiest country in the world, and STILL be an aggressively ignorant racist shit with a sense of entitlement the size of Canada? Fuck her and her entire family tree. The glee the masses feel for her getting a taste of justice gives me hope for this world.

And the only thing that could possibly make me respect Paris Hilton at all, even a little bit, is if after this stay in prison she begins a serious, sustained, and self-sacrificial advocacy campaign for average schmucks who end up in prison.

Unlikely, since she's going to be insulated from the part of the prison for average schmucks.

Her Mom-side family tree doesn't go very far.

It breaks my heart to see intelligent, educated young people, their whole future ahead of them, babbling about Harry Potter instead of making nasty, malicious, resentful comments about the deluxe hotel lady.

150.---Yeah, but reportedly, she's been absolutely paralysed with terror about going to jail. If she had a microgram of imagination and compassion, she could understand some part of what other people go through. Her P.R. person, at any rate, should be pushing for her to make some sort of rehabilitating gesture. Lord knows she doesn't have anything else constructive to do with her time and money.

FYI, Olbermann is about to cover the Paris-Sarah mash-up.

"First time she's had orange juice without Absolut."
--Michael Musto

"In the future, I plan on taking a more active role in the decisions I make."
--Paris Hilton

The Slutshank Redemtion

OK - so what's the betting that, in x year's time [especially if it's an obituary] Paris Hilton will be praised for the way she coped with all her difficulties, turned her life around, demonstrated her 'inner strength', helped fellow sufferers recover from whatever -how she's so admired and loved by everyone etc. etc.
Thanks Frowner - the media does have a lot to answer for.

Oh, Paris.

Oh, NSFW.

Ok, so maybe Paris is a racist selfish mess. I'm still uncomfortable with the "stupid slut bitch" stuff.

Humorless!

Basically, if someone's sole good points are that they're female and sex-positive, they really don't have any good points. Half the world is female, and being sex-positive isn't really a rare accomplishment.

I agree completely with 116. Are you people trying to tell me I should feel guilty about that? I do everything I can reasonably do to avoid celebrity gossip simply because I'm disinterested in it for a variety of reasons. When it does intrude on me, Paris Hilton is, say, the proximate cause of 60 percent of the incidents. At least let me feel a little glee when something bad happens to her, especially since she has so few other memorable traits.

158: Thanks a lot for that Sifu! I noticed it about 20 seconds after clicking on the link in 157 -- at work, as the fucking boss was walking by.

You know, having actually watched the linked video last night, what I notice is that Silverman seems oddly discomfited by the audience response, in a way that isn't true when people holler at her while she's doing rape or Holocaust jokes.

Awww. Viacom took the video down.