Thank you for valiantly trying to draw everyone away from that Harry Potter thread. Christ.

Cock pic attached, I assume.

This blog is dead; only its zombie corpse survives.

"Thank you for the opportunity to present myself to you." s/b "Thank you falettinme be mice elf agin."

I was on the Board of a non-profit, interviewing for a new executive director.

A lady sent in a Glamour Shot photograph of herself. The picture was very sultry.

Better than "Thank you for the opportunity to expose myself to you."

"Presenting oneself" sounds so baboon in heat.

Just think, Ogged, if you'd gone the academic route, you could assign it a grade.

Who wants to see pictures of heebie's red ass?

You didn't have to interview me like you did, but you did, but you did, and I thank you.

Sounds like a non-native speaker.

Domo arigato, Mr. Human Resources Director. Domo! Domo!

I don't get it.

I had an intense auditory near-hallucination as I read 12. I swear I could hear the synthesizer echo after each Domo.

Who wants to see pictures of heebie's red ass?

Not me if it looks like a baboon's butt when presenting.

Ogged has come to help you with your problems, so you can be free.

15: It's just acne. B's being mean.

And 15 kills evo psych dead.

I've done my share of reproducing.

Not that there is anything wrong with Heebie.

My son could have used some athletic genes from the other side of the family.

The baboon butt doesn't help me in sports.

My son could have used some athletic genes from the other side of the family.

I love genetic blame.

"I love genetic blame. "

Shouldnt you be kicking?

And, for another thing, are you suggesting that Phelps isnt helped by his genetic makeup?

I think I'm coming down with something; haven't swum the past couple of days.

When I read 24 my immediate thought was that you were talking about Fred Phelps.

25:

Must be bad genes. I never get sick.

Must be. My mom would say they're from my dad's side of the family.

So Heebie has a baboon butt? Or a balloon butt?

Actually, swimming is a great way to clear your snotty nose.

Except that other people have to use that pool!

29: It's kind of a prosthetic.

Chlorine. Chlorine takes care of all of that. Poop, urine, snot, etc.

Yeah, chlorine is magic. Although the polite thing to do is to blow your nose in the gutter and then splash some water to wash it down.

34:

Agreed.

At the beach, Ficke enlightened all of us with the knowledge gained from his years as a lifeguard with exactly how much chlorine one had to add to a pool and how long one had to wait before letting people back in for various excrement/bodily discharge situations.

0 minutes

And here I thought this thread would contain some advice on applying for jobs.

36: Yep. We had a little chart.

I don't care how toxic chlorine is, I don't want to see someone snotting in my pool.

You don't see it, precisely because you don't want to see it. Ogged splashed some water in the gutter. The snot unhappened.

36, did you use a proper noun that you shouldn't have? I genuinely have no idea, but thought I'd ask.

42 - No biggie, I don't think. But thanks for checking!

I S N O T A S C A R

41: I'm willing to suspend my disbelief at the actual time of the occurrence, if need be, but it's a bit much to ask me to contemplate the plan to snot beforehand, if you catch my drift.

ISNOTASCOT

"I can be made available to interview at your convenience"

The hits keep coming.

You're distraught at his snot plot, wot?

46 wins.

I'm always kind of embarrassed about how much water sloshes into, and thus must be spit out of, my mouth when using a keyboard. I sort of expect the lifeguard to yell at me for backwashing.

50: "keyboard" s/b "kickboard."

It's coffee when I'm using a keyboard.

I'm surprised you haven't got electrocuted from swimming with a keyboard.

50: I am really enjoying the image of cerebrocrat typing blog comments while kicking his way down the pool.

I'm always kind of embarrassed about how much water sloshes into, and thus must be spit out of, my mouth when using a keyboard.

Teach me to type like cerebrocrat.

Shucks.

50: You could try one of these.

53: The bluetooth always goes out under the diving blocks.

1: It was a nice try, anyway. I second your "Christ."

OT: A president who won't pardon a decent hardworking public servant who committed felonies for him has no honor.

Let us know when you get your first lolresume.

I CAN HAS JOB?!?

Also unnecessary: your favorite Heinlein quote in the sig of you introductory email.

Yes, Rand is ever so much more appropriate.

Okay, an lolresume peppered with Rand quotes it is.

Serious resume question: where should I put magna cum laude and Phi Beta Kappa? I do want to include them, right?

Put things that appear on your diploma on the same line as your degree -- i.e., AB, Magna Cum Laude in Philosophy, Standard University, 2008.

Put Phi Beta Kappa under a list of honors; it doesn't normally appear on your diploma.

I do want to include them, right?

Yes. Where you put them depends on what you're highlighting, which depends on the kind of job you're after. But you're a young lad so I assume that your education figures prominently on your resume. Usually it will look something like:

Teo U Teoville
B.A. Major (Year)
Magna Cum Laude Phi Beta Kappa

Thanks.

A is A, and I got lots of 'em: magna cum laude, baby, and Phi Beta Kappa.

Or you could put it in the education section.

I guess my answer was more of a c.v. answer than a resume answer. Sorry.

I could just go back to remedial typing and learn to post faster.

60: If you didn't want to hire me you could have told me in person.

Listen to slol.

Rock me, Academus.

I do want to include them, right?

Applying to any religious organizations? If so, make sure to work that virgin angle.

MY PARINT R GOD AN AYN RAND

teo, you should take it as a sign of how much everyone likes you around here, that when you asked where you should put your magna cum laude and your phi beta kappa, no one gave you the obvious obscene answers.

i think they really like you.

or standards are just slipping.

slol's right.

Tim agrees with me. Apocalypse a-comin'.

I thought we tended towards agreement, no? Except for the neurosis about being"undignified" and the "I'm worried about what she'll think if I don't know her eye color" thing, I mean. (How those two fit together, I'm not sure.) I feel like I've written "I agree with slol" a lot.

I have tended to think of slol and SCMT as being fairly similar in their opinions, yes.

Ah, but have you written it more than "Do you hate America, slol?" That is the question.

Also, I don't think I said anything on the great eye color debate.

Evidence.

Slolernr demands total obedience.

and furthermore.

Slolernr demands total obedience.

BOW DOOOOOWN!

Seriously, three times -- maybe about 1.5 times a year, by my count -- is, by you, "a lot"?

Comity is a rare thing.

84: slol, you psychopath, is there something oppressing you? I may not have written it as many times as I thought. The larger point was that I didn't think our opinions differed dramatically that often. I may have been wrong about that as well. Even if I'm right about that, I'm willing to pretend I'm wrong about it if it'll make you feel better.

85: true.

Now false!

87: Tricky!