Okay, and I realized it was a joke RIGHT after I posted #1.
I thought this was serious until the fat cock part. Thank goodness.
#3: Exactly. Does this count as the third thing we agree on?
The real problem here is racism, not sexual harassment. Why does the black guy disappear from the office, huh huh?
4: It probably does, but I'm still not going to sleep with you.
5: Because he found someone else to rub his fat cock on, yeah!
And I'll bet someone switched out the room spray with the fresh vagina spray again in that copier office.
I kinda like how the vagina harasser is all coy about it. "Mmmaybe."
Ha, I'm pretty sure I saw the original video in school at some point. Even though it says "your company".
I started to doubt its seriousness after the man resumed the backrub after she objected very clearly to it. By the "fat cock" bit I was cracking up.
#6: Come on, baby, you know you want it.
The great thing about it is that it does seem real and gradually works up to hilarious, then, in retrospect, you can see that even the first reaction shot was a joke.
I love the dude's almost wistful reaction to the "fat cock" proposition.
Oh god how much I wanted to write up that sexual harrassment seminar I got sent to a few months back. Pure blogging gold. But getting sent to sexual harrassment training is a close enough call with HR -- better not push it.
Wait, what? You got sent to a sexual harassment seminar? Screw writing up the seminar, tell us what you did!
I'd better just go to bed before I ill-advisedly start spilling information all over these comments. But let's just say there was a section on blogs.
18 written before 17. Blogs are not why I got sent.
Dude, you can't go to bed. You have to tell us how you got labelled a potential sexual harasser. Inquiring minds are dying to know.
I was thinking maybe someone brought their dog to the office or something.
That was really gross. I'm sorry, Becks.
Have you ever tried to fiddle a dolphin penis? It's hard.
Once you've got the bowing technique down, though, you're set.
When it's hard, you switch to percussion.
You can tune a dolphin penis, but you can't tuna fish.
A company I used to work at had a SH seminar and the seminar leader told us, "Basically, you should treat other employees the way you would want them to treat you."
She didn't think it was funny when I asked, "What if I want the other employees to have sex with me?"
(And no, that's not why I'm not working there anymore.)
If you've ever been struck with a dolphin penis, you know that it's always already percussive.
The George Bush-Angela Merkel reenactment was a nice touch.
I can't believe anyone thought this was serious even for a moment. The title frame was about sexual harrassment for the "21st Century", yet the graphic was clearly of a style not used since 1980. Plus, ogged posted it. Has he ever posted a serious video?
I have a serious job-related question.
I'm pretty sure taht my boss is trying to fire me and is systematically going out of her way to document my failings.
Last week, I got sat down by both my boss and her assistant and counseled that my performance was not up to snuff, and I was given a 30 day action plan. I signed the counseling statement. Some of the things are areas where I clearly need to improve, although she does seem to be picking on me in particular. There are also a lot of suggestions for improvement that are mutually incompatible.
She told me that I needed to stop being afraid of her and to take more initiative. The fact of the matter is that we are all afraid of her, though I did not rat out my coworkers by saying that. When we make samll mistakes, she gets very upset. This discourages initiative.
She wanted to find a way to keep sales up over the summer. I said taht we should try to keep sunglasses in stock. She took my use of teh wrod "we" as a personal affront. "I'm far too busy to keep up with the ordering deadliens for Sunglass company X." I said, "Perhaps, we could do a display in the window to let people know that we carry them." She totally shot this down. "What so they can get stolen."
She also yells a lot.
The other day I left a note to one of my coworkers in the team log which said, "B, when you did the returns, you accidentally placed an order." I got pulled into the conference room again and issued a formal written warning. I think taht three of those is enought to get you fired. I was told that this was undermining my boss's authority as team leader and publicly humiliating B. The first is a possibility that hadn't occured to me, but which seems reasonable enough. B and I have a very good relationship, and I know that she wouldn't feel humiliated. I should have told her orally, because I know that she would have appreciated the heads up. Boss then said that she and B had built up a really good relationship over the past eyar, and that I was undermining it and instilling fear in others. This si completely false. B warned me about boss before I took the job, and she talks constantly about how she wants to transfer to another location, sicne she has a car and is moving. (I'm not stupid enough to say that.)
I'd been planning to look for another job, but I'm seriously thinking that I shoudl try to transfer within the company. I'd like to try to transfer to another store's Whole Body Department, but maybe I shoudl just take anything--cheese or wahtever--while I look for a new job. I can't really temp, because I need the health insurance both because of MA's new law and because I take prescription drugs.
The thing is that her outbursts are totally unpredictable. Even when they're not directed at me personally, they are very scary. The other day, she was runnign late getting otu the door--as she always is, because she has a hard time finishing her tasks on time. Her ATL left, because she wanted to make sure that she caught the train. My boss seemed to be resigned to the fact that she'd have to stay an extra hour. Another coworker of mine said, "M said she'd save you a seat on the train." The my boss yelled, "Jesus Christ, I am so fucking pissed." She ran otu the door and asked us to throw out her tabouleh.
I kind of want to tell her that these outburst make me uncomfortable, and that I don't think taht I should have to adapt to them. What would be totally unwise and what I would never do (but I really want to) is to tell her that she's behaving inappropriately and is being unprofessional.
I'm wary of bringing it up now at all, becaus eit could just seem like retaliation, and she's a pretty vindictive woman. She's forced otu other people in the past, and she tends to find a way to blame her mistakes on us underlings.
She's known to be difficult, so I don't think that it woudl be too hard for me to switch within my store or to another WHole Body Department--if there's an opening anywhere. But that's a big IF. They're always cutting their labor budgets.
Itried to document the ways that I was improving my productivity, btu then I got told taht "there is no I in team." I do think that I need to get out of there, because it does seem to be a no-win situation.
I'm not entirely sure how to proceed. SHe says that she wants direct and honest communication. Honest from me would involve inappropriate displays of anger.
We don't really have HR--just someone who does payroll and benefits. The manager is away in England working on helping to open the new store in Kensington. He shoudl be back in a week or so.
Thoughts people?
I'd quit tomorrow if I had even a temporary job available. Does anyone know a professor who needs a short-ish term research assistant who wouldn't mind someone bright but with weird gaps in her resume. I'd need to make a little bit more than I'm makign now to cover my $140/month COBRA costs. (It's cheap, because teh coverage sucks.)
Otherwise I can't quite think of a term-limited job that I can get really fast.
I asked teh question in thsi trhead, because her behavior seems to me to be creating a hostile work environment. I'm not interested in suing, just in finding a way to protect myself.
You've got two options, because I don't think you're going to be able to appease her, as she's insane.
1. Get out of there.
2. Fight back now. Hard. Go over her head. File a complaint with the company's HR dept. Those verbal outbursts are out of line. Get written up for leaving a note to a coworker is out of line. When you're getting canned it will be too late.
btu then I got told taht "there is no I in team."
Seriously? In those words?
I'd say you have 3 options:
1. Accept the situation (don't fight it or her).
2. Try to change the situation.
3. Leave.
I vote for #3.
What gswift said, especially 2. Even if you get canned, or find another job, do everything you can to poison the well for her--you'll be helping out all your coworkers, even if it's too late for you. Try not to burn bridges with anybody but your boss.
Yeah, I vote for 'leave' as well.
I can't see any way round it. There's nothing you are going to be able to do that is going to stop your boss being a shite, and make the job pleasant for you.
Also, 'gswift' is right. Written warning for leaving a polite note? That's crazy. Written warnings in most sane environments are for pretty serious failings.
36: Gswift sounds right, but it's a bad situation -- while going over her head is the only thing that sounds effective as a means of not getting fired, better to find another job somewhere. Have you thought about paralegaling? A fair percentage of law firms look for very bright people without experience who don't mean to make a career of it.
37: Seriously, in those words.
36: I made sure that one of the Assistant store team leaders was present the second time. I don't think she was very helpful. I'm worried that my bringing this stuff up will make it sound like I'm only saying it because of her actions. This is partially true.
Whole Foods is a really sketchy company in a lot of ways. The PBS (Payroll and benefits specialist) at my store didn't understand how a flexible spending account works. One of teh cleaning guys got something in his eye, and the PBS made him go to the hospital. (MGH is right next door.) She didn't want to file a worker's compensation claim and told him to pay for it out of his personal wellness account (money they give you annually and which can build up from year to year to spend on healthcare--to meet teh deductible and co-insurance
The manager is in England, but I plan to talk with him as soon as he gets back. He knows that she can be bad. I won some movie tickets in a raffle--on team member appreciation day, and when he brought them over to me, my ATL M asked "What are these for?" He joked taht they were for putting up with M. M said, "But I'm the nice one." And he said, "Okay, the other one." She has a reputation.
Only problem with the "fight" advice is that the woman's character can hardly be unknown to the management. She either delivers something they want, shakes things up in a way they approve, or she has an in with them.
BG, we would really use some new paralegals -- we're running dangerously low. You know where I work. Apply.
re: 43
Or they just can't be bothered to get rid of her. I've worked places where there have been shitty managers* and they've been left to do what they do more through inertia and inactivity than through any active approval of their methods or results.
* I can think of one co-worker, years ago, who was both a borderline sociopath (not an exaggeration) and really crappy at his job, but who got away with it for ages ...
the woman's character can hardly be unknown to the management
I think this is 100% wrong. Many people act very, very differently with subordinates than seniors. If no one tells upper management, they possibly have no idea.
Except 42 makes it sound like 47 is wrong in this instance. But as a general matter, it's true.
43: Or no one's bitched about it to them before.
49: I bet it shows up in turnover rates.
47, 49:See 42, which I find nauseating.
I do plan on leaving, and I do want to poison the well for her.
I'm just not sure that I can line somethign up in three weeks, and that seems like abotu the amount of time that I have.
I've got some irons int he fire. I have a friend who works at the Fed who knows a lot of Econ professors and B school types, and he's impressed by the fact that I probably know more Economics 13 years out than anybody who's ever taken only one introductory economics course. We're planning to talk about research assistant positions.
I'm planning lunch with someone who knows non-profits well. There's a biomedical engineer who works at Beth Israel who gave me his e-mail one night. We have a good chatty relationship. (He's got a girlfriend--so there are no worries that hsi interest is sexual. His dream, though, is to open up a company that will do leadership training for executives on sailboats.) There's another woman who's an administrator for a law firm who wants me to get in touch with her--because I mentioned that I was tired of being treated liek I'm stupid.
There are tehse weird gaps in my resume--partly because of law school and a whole host of family issues. I sort of have a sense that I really need to do this through personal connections, because on paper I just look like a flake. That takes time.
He's got a girlfriend--so there are no worries that hsi interest is sexual
A non-sequitur, surely.
It does show up in turnover rates which are higher than among other teams, but turnover is generally pretty high company-wide.
Her numbers aren't bad. They could be better if she was better about keeping things in stock, but the whoel store is growing. It's on a year and half old and it's comping better than most.
I do plan on leaving, and I do want to poison the well for her.
If that's your plan, I would say the most effective route is, once you've got your next job lined up, to quit by calling a meeting with her supervisor, and explaining that as much as you would have liked to have made your career with Whole Foods, M. had made that impossible. Bring up the 'guy with something in his eye' incident -- that exposed the company to liability, denying him Workman's Comp for an on the job injury, and you could reasonably say that you were unwilling to assume the risk of being implicated in her violations of law. If there are other stories like that, lay them out. You only want to do this if you can pull off a 'more in sorrow than in anger, trying to do what's best for a workplace that has generally treated you well' tone.
And then burn the place down and frame her for it!
Just to be clear, M to whom I report is fine. S my boss who is also M's boss is insane.
56: You think? That could work too.
The workman's comp thing wasn't S, it was the PBS. I only use that point to illustrate how sketchy Whole Foods is as a company.
One of my coworkers moved out here from upstate NY to be with her family, so she's working at an introductory level. She's held managerial positiosn in the past at Wegman's and is aroudn 60. She doesn't know as much about the vitamin industry, but she managed the entire natural foods section fo a Wegman's and would eb a lot more competent.
56: That's kind of funny (note: arson is a very dangerous crime, the most serious of all property crimes, mr. policeman), because there was a big fire at the new store in Kensington.
to quit by calling a meeting with her supervisor, and explaining that as much as you would have liked to have made your career with Whole Foods, M. had made that impossible.
That doesn't generate a paper trail. Big corporations live and die by that paper trail. It has to be a formal complaint with the appropriate department, usually HR. That way when someone else files a complaint, it'll be "multiple incidents", and there's a much better chance she'll get canned.
If you want to fight back, you must very non-vindictively plan to get her fired. It has to cost her supervisors more to deal with the problem of her being a shitty manager than it does to ignore her. And set her numbers aside: if she is causing her subordinates to leap over her head daily and cause her bosses to stop what they're doing, she is a shitty manager.
That means you need other people on your side, who will join you in complaining about her. You can't ever do anything alone. My guess is that in a store the size of a whole foods, if there's three of you who hang together, you have a very good shot, and if there's four of you who hang together, you're bound to win. If it's just you and one other, it's more of a parting shot on your way out the door.
Document like crazy. You don't need "proof" of things; if you document truthfully, you'll have her on the defensive. Every time she calls you in, bring someone else with you to witness.
If you can get them to think that she's driving people towards unionization, they'll probably move her away. (They will think this is you start doing small collective actions like signing letters together and going to upper management in small groups.) If you can get them to think that without thinking that you're already a union activist, they may not even fire you illegally. If they do, and you pursue it, you might get a check for a few thousand dollars five years after the firing.
BG, are you keeping notes or a short diary of these events? Evidence like that is helpful for you even if you never end up going over your boss's head -- even if all you do is sit down with M and tell her about all the garbage you've documented. It's just good to have it written down, chronologically and with key details as you can remember them.
56 - Nobody ever suspects the butterfly.
To repeat, M is fine. S is the problem.
I think that union organizing at Whole Foods could get you fired. That's the first thing that they say in an interview. "Whole Foods is a non-Union company."
M is fine. S is the problem.
I apologize, ma cheri. Perhaps if you return to my castle I can apologize in person.
Not legally it couldn't; there's a law against firing workers for organizing. Which means that practically of course it can and probably will, but if you're an out of the closet organizer, they're going to be slightly more cautious/slower about firing you, because they'll probably want a good solid paper trail.
Brock--Can you e-mail me from your home using a yahoo or gmail account. I'd like to ask you a couple of questions about your place of employment.
The HR departments aren't there for the employees. They're to keep the company from getting sued. Formal complaint, and it has to be detailed. Specific incidents with dates and all, and who else was present. People who can file that kind of paperwork are the kind of people who just might retain an attorney, and HR knows it.
And for christ's sakes DO NOT TELL ANYONE. You have no friends in this, and word WILL get back to her, and she'll start preparing her side of the story. The first inclination of trouble she should have is when her superior or HR asks her about it.
You're probably right, but I've been reacting to B-girl's statement that there isn't an HR department she has access to. But there must be one somewhere, I suppose.
Yeah, if it was sexual harassment or racial discrimination, there's a dept. somewhere that takes investigates those complaints. There's a regional and a national office, and at least one of them has people of this sort.
There are two people whom I trust a lot. One is a student, though, so she may not have the wisdom to knwo how to proceed.
The other is working for benefits. She's pregnant with her second child and needs the health insurance. Her husband just opened a bakery and a full family plan is just prohibitively expensive. She's signed up for short-term disabilty, and when she gives birth, she'll use that to pay for "maternity leave." She may leave the company after that. She has a teaching credential that she wants to finish. We talk about stuff all the time. I totally trust her.
She asked my advice when she got into a different sort of trouble. M and S were both encouraging her to quit once she got pregnant. The job does involve lifting soem boxes, but they aren't heavy, and she's never not done it. She missed work once, because she was sick. S is just not a nice person.
66-68: My point is that union organizing could get her fired. LB is right that it's illegal and typical to fire union organizers. However, if they look at your department and think we need to do something there to avoid a union drive it's very plausible that they will move her away from you.
70b: The question of whether you have no friends with is yours to answer, though it's good to assume you don't. However, if you don't, you're at a disadvantage: the best you can do is cause trouble for her on your way out the door. Even then, if it comes from just one employee, it may be easier for them to think "sour grapes" and hold nothing against your manager.
You might call the local UFCW for information. Although my sense is that you're not too interested in actually starting a ruckus, they may know whether that particular store has had union "problems" before.
She asked my advice when she got into a different sort of trouble. M and S were both encouraging her to quit once she got pregnant. The job does involve lifting soem boxes, but they aren't heavy, and she's never not done it. She missed work once, because she was sick. S is just not a nice person.
Pregnancy discrimination is illegal under Title VII. That's something to take to HR.
My point is that union organizing could get her fired.
No way. They'll can the low level people.
think we need to do something there to avoid a union drive it's very plausible that they will move her away from you.
Again, no they won't. They'll can a bunch of replaceable low level people to both solve the problem and instill fear in the others.
However, if you don't, you're at a disadvantage:
She's already at a disadvantage because she's outranked. It has to be a complaint that the company thinks they could get sued over, it should involve other people that the manager has pissed off, and it should be a stab in the back. No one gets told. Even then there's a good chance it won't work. Get another jjob lined up.
Work tirelessly to get her promoted. Let her fail upward. It's the American way.
I've tried going over the boss's head and, while it wasn't a disaster, nothing came of it. If she's been working for the same person a long time, the odds are that they know about her and don't care. (On the other hand, if your supervisor has a new supervisor herself, it's worth a try).
A lot of seemigly nice higher-ups are happy to have a screen of mean people below them.
From fresh vagina spray to employment woes... wow, the circle is complete.
But a bit of personal boo-hooing here: I got canned from my full time job as a frame shop manager on Saturday and I knew it was coming down the pike because I had had nothing but good things said about me and my performance by our store manager (who has never managed a store before, just like I have never managed a frame shop) until 2 weeks ago, when she issued me a formal written warning (IMO, way out of the blue). And I knew that was the end of it (less than 2 weeks later I am Out The Door).
I wish I could have left on my own terms but here's the deal, Bostoniangirl: Get Out Now. Do not plan judgment, do not plan to destroy, just Get Out Now. That place sounds like it has as much poison as my place. The best thing you can do for yourself is to write down/document all of the working conditions you had to deal with, get it notarised (I think this carries more weight?) and send it to the upper management. Then you can stand back whilst the store implodes upon itself and there is a housecleaning. If this doesn't happen, you will still be Out and Safe.
If getting out Now isn't an option, look for something else immediately.
I wish corporate management culture in America wasn't so fucked up - I have worked for many people who were middle level managers who were awesome, but it was the upper management peoples who were Shit on a Stick. That, of course, contributed to the denigration of work skill in the marketplace to the point where people were expected to do 2 1/2 jobs for the price of 1 "just out of college" pay range. Ugh.