First LB uses my name in vain, and then I get totally ignored with a great video. I don't like Hate On Heebie Day.
Ooh, I didn't click on it when you linked it. I'm actually really impressed that she's making any shots at all -- pregnant screws with your balance (having twenty pounds hanging off your front like that) enough that I'd think her accuracy would be shot to hell.
LB, given the editing, I don't think we can say that she is making any shots.
I'm the world's most naive consumer of things like this -- is this a reasonably straight presentation of Elfman playing ball, or is it all trick shots and acting?
*sniffle* S'okay. *sniffle* S'better now.
Ah. I didn't place the name, and she's tall, so I went into it thinking "Some WNBA player I haven't heard of versus a couple of no-name guys", at which point it didn't look abjectly ridiculous. Once I placed her as an actress, I started feeling gullible.
Heebie, everyone knows I don't read this blog. Sorry I missed it.
FL, just search for my name. That'll cover your bases.
> Jenna Elfman
Ah, the _perky_ Scientologist.
That's one hell of a body thetan infestation under her waistband. She needs some NOTS solo auditing, stat.
It comforts me to know that when the Marcab UFO invasion fleet finally appears inside the orbit of Neptune, Jenna will be standing tall, fending off the psych troops with her steely intention beams. And basketballs.
I think I'm basically prejudiced against Scientologists. Stupid and bullies ... lovely.
I actually know one scientologist very well. She's very serious about the scientology and lord knows what's up with that, but she's one of the nicest, most genuinely giving people I know, so...
20: Often enough, that seems to be the way, though. I'm really uncomfortable with the GOP evangelical base. But the people whom I know that fall into that group are, almost without exception, super nice and really decent in a day-in-day-out sort of way.
> the scientology and lord knows what's up with that
I don't know about "lord", but Andreas Heldal-Lund, Kristi Wachter, Chris Owen, and a host of others know _exactly_ what's up with Scientology, the most litigous organization on the planet (at one time they had over 2000 simultaneous lawsuits going against the US IRS) and arguably among the organizations most exploitative and abusive of all its members, except celebrities. Not to mention the lawbreaking.
If you don't know what's up with Scientology, you might profitably spend a few minutes at Operation Clambake,
http://www.xenu.net/ (love that URL), or at Dave Touretzky's site at http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~dst/ (scroll down).
LB, are you on crack? Just watching those "jump shots" made my cervix hurt.
Although one or two of the shots from the floor, she obviously took. Doubt she put 'em in the basket, though.
Yeah, joel, I know about that stuff, and we've had some long scientology bashing threads here.
You mean for falling for it at all? I dunno, I stayed pretty energetic even late in pregnancy -- I'm not a ball player, but barring some clumsiness, most physical things I could do not pregnant, I could do at eight months. Given that I thought I was looking at a pro, it didn't look ridiculously improbable. But I'm easily suckered.
20: Often enough, that seems to be the way, though. I'm really uncomfortable with the GOP evangelical base. But the people whom I know that fall into that group are, almost without exception, super nice and really decent in a day-in-day-out sort of way.
The best office mates I've ever had were devout Christians. I got three of them in a row; one even left to be a missionary. It was awesome. You'd run the printer out of paper, and they'd get there, look at you for a second, and you could just see them decide to be Christ-like and forgiving. It worked great.
look at you for a second, and you could just see them decide to be Christ-like and forgiving. It worked great.
That's awesome.
Heh. I associate that with serious Catholics (I can't think of anyone seriously evangelical I've worked with). And it is a very attractive, pleasant personality trait.
25: Well, I'm impressed. When I was that pregnant, I'd occasionally have to stop and lean on a street sign while walking, until the cramps passed.
The really culpable belief of the scientologists is their belief that our minds are controlled by prehistoric clams. I draw the line there.
Ah, I betray my noobness. I'll subside then.
29: Yeah, I had obnoxiously easy pregnancies, including the classic conversation with the midwife "How often do you have contractions?" "Um, haven't noticed any?" "You're having one now, dimwit." I don't think she actually called me a dimwit, but there was eyerolling.
31: Oh, don't subside; there's nothing wrong with not having memorized the archives.
I've tried pretty hard not to hate on Scientology---glass houses and all that---but the Scientologists don't make it easy for me.
Please. LDS isn't in it for crazy with Scientology.
25. I thought the pregnancy belly was a prosthetic. Is she really pregnant? The Hollywood gossip sites that I check run more to the who can't get out of a cab without flashing variety, so I'm clueless.
The thing that, for me, differentiates Scientology from other religions which I think are kind of nutty, is that I get the sense that in other nutty religions, the hierarchy of the religion is dominated by people who truly believe in the nuttiness.
Whereas the impression that I get is that the hierarchy of Scientology is dominated by people who truly like money.
Re: LDS -- I know we'd talked about the big Mormon mini-series that was on PBS last month. PBS also just aired an episode of Independent Lens called "Knocking" about Jehovah's Witnesses. I thought it was an interesting contrast -- both are religions with a strong missionary zeal that consider themselves Christian but aren't seen that way by some outsiders and that have struggled being seen as loyal Americans. Yet LDS is far more accepted than Jehovah's Witnesses. I'm sure the concentration of believers in one geographical area, which increases their political clout, has a lot to do with it but it is interesting how two religions can have very similar paths yet different outcomes.
Back in the day, though, the LDS demanded that converts turn over all their property. If Brigham Young had been anywhere near as personally vain as Joseph Smith seems to have been, I'm pretty sure that the church would have splintered into various backbiting cults.
35: You mean, A Study in Scarlet isn't true?
Yet LDS is far more accepted than Jehovah's Witnesses
I think it is the no birthday cake rule.
That is just crazy talk.
38: Two word explanation: "Michael Jackson."
Also, I suppose it makes sense given some of the central beliefs:
Mormons - Get married young, have lots of kids
Jehovah's Witnesses - Don't have a blood transfusion
No wonder the numbers for LDS are so much better.
Insofar as I understand Jehovah's Witnesses, the fundamental theological attitude seems to be a rejection of the world. That seems to be marginalised in American culture.
A couple of coworkers were JW. As explained to me, they have rejected alot of the pagan trappings of the One True Church (which incedentally allowed it to be so successful) so as to have a purer message. Ditto American consumer culture. As I said before, crazy talk.
36: I think she was pregnant a while ago.
Aren't Jehovah's Witnesses often pacifists? They've gotta be doing something right.
JWs believe that the Pledge of Allegiance and flag salutes are idolatry. They're more or less right about that. They're pretty Puritanical but not really into voluntary poverty. The two I've known reasonably well were very kindly people.
but she's one of the nicest, most genuinely giving people I know, so...
Well, I said it was a prejudice.
Organizationally, though, Scientology is a remarkable and frightening achievement, having managed to meld all the worst elements of Catholic hierarchy, Military chains of command, American self-help culture, Hollywood celebrity, Batshit messianic cultic beliefs, and corporate legal practice.
I had obnoxiously easy pregnancies, including the classic conversation with the midwife "How often do you have contractions?" "Um, haven't noticed any?" "You're having one now, dimwit."
Sayeth not this within earshot of mine wife, lest ye be strangled unto death.
Talk of Scientology always makes me think of this guy, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Parsons, who blew himself up around the corner from my house.
Gonerill might have added "pyramid scams" to that list. If you recruit new people you get a share of their fees. As you go higher up, your shares increase. It's much like Amway, I think.
32, 50: My best friend from grad school just had her first baby on Friday, and when she recounted to me that she showed up to the hospital early, ended up sleeping through nearly her entire labor, was awakened by a nurse just in time to do the serious pushing, at which point the epidural kicked in and out popped baby in under 45 min with virtually no tearing, I suggested that she be careful when telling other mothers about her experience.
Remember the four kids who humped an ottoman? Go watch this.
If there's one thread where I should have credibility, it's this one. So go watch.
54 -- thanks -- that is fantastic.
50: Whoops. It's not virtue or healthy living or anything, I just got lucky.
Corrected link for 51. Bad 51! Use preview!
They're pretty Puritanical but not really into voluntary poverty
There is no contradiction here is there? I didn't think the Puritans were very into voluntary poverty either.
Hee - those ottoman-humpers have a MySpace page - their (first three) heroes are "Micheal Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Lebron James" - guess he *ain't* so ugly!
there's nothing wrong with not having memorized the archives.
Bridgeplate (and I) are going to beat you up, LB.
I've been working out, and my children are innately savage, highly trained in martial arts, and loyal.
Ok, then Bridgeplate is going to beat you up.
I worked for many years for Amdahl Corporation, which had a large population of devout LDS folk. A nicer, more conscientious, more fundamentally decent group of people you'll never meet anywhere. Some of them I am still striving to emulate (in a non-theological way).
64: It's only the first trait that makes Sally and Newt dangerous. Tae Kwon Do will never be as fearsome as Bite Fu when you're dealing with pre-pubescents.
The Mormons I've known, besides being pleasant, easy-going, and community-spirited, all seem to have a sense of humor. Maybe there's sampling bias.
You should meet my aunts. Hoo boy, can they be humorless.
My mother in law had no sense of humor, come to think of it, but I've always attributed that either either to mental illness, deeply ingrained evil and malice, or some especially horrible sort of demonic possession.
In lieu of having sex, perhaps we should all just beat one another up. Dibs on Stanley!
Remember, to beat someone up means to bring that person into existence by means of beating.
In lieu of having sex, perhaps we should all just beat one another up
You can tell the difference around here?
I plan to explore the contradictions inherent in beating someone up by means of administering a beat-down.
Someone ask me why I hang around with that sadist!
Oh fine, I'll do it myself.
Why do you hang around with that sadist?
Beats me.
Dibs on Stanley
Oh, yeah? I'm gonna fuck you, Clown, up. Or down. Or something.
51: Given the circumstances of his demise, this seems like a fitting memorial, per Wikipedia: "The Parsons crater on the far side of the Moon has been named after him."
33 is dead wrong.
If there is to be an unfogged no-holds-barred meetup, I vote for banning groin hits and sport sandals.