No, this is right. This means we have a screwy sheriff (the one who decided to let her out) who got put in his place by a competent judge. It's a circus, still, but it's functioning.
You know, Marie Antoinette didn't actually say "Let them eat cake". I am all for just desserts, but the spectacle is getting out of hand.
Perhaps the saddest thing about today's events.
What if this actually serves as a deterrent? You know, as in, Paris might not be as flippant about breaking the law in the future if she knows that she'll actually get jail time, despite her fame and fortune.
I'm not sayin, I'm just sayin...
(Linked because I don't think I can insert pictures in comments.)
7: Is that OMG as in "OMG, Bush is drinking again!!11!one!"
Surely there are people who won't click through the original post but who wouldn't want to miss this:
Some witnesses say they saw a rainbow above the courtroom. And others say they saw a giant man in the clouds with a white beard nodding his head approvingly. And me? Well I saw Judge Michael Sauer grow to be twelve feet tall, with muscles the size of tree trunks. And when he smiled, little cartoon hearts appeared above my head and there was a strange tingling sensation in my pants.
NOTE: I officially nominate Judge Michael Sauer for President of the Entire Universe.
I have to admit that I felt a teensy bit sorry for her on seeing the picture, the same way I feel sorry for my daughters when I have to punish them. For lesser infractions, of course.
8 I saw a blurb this morning that Bush was missing part of the G8 summit this morning because he wasn't feeling well.... Stomach virus, hangover. Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.
Nick Ut's wikipedia entry notes his new assignment. Although, for all we know, he's not a particularly great photographer, right?
That picture of Bush drinking a beer also contains the bottle which is easily identified as non-alcoholic.
I wonder if not getting your way is much harder if that has never happened to you before.
11: Well, I didn't know that. Just recognized the name. He does seem to have the great photographer's knack for being in the right place at the right time, though.
13: That's why sometimes I have to punish my daughters.
So that when they're sent to jail, they have the emotional resources to handle it. Good thinking.
13: That's why sometimes I have to punish my daughters.
Whether they deserve it or not, just to keep 'em off balance.
What, you thought he could retire off of the one Vietnam shot?
18: Not really, I just thought he'd still be, I don't know, respectable? (Although I suppose after Vietnam, traveling to war-torn countries might lose its luster.)
Academics don't believe, deep down, that anyone should have to work for a living.
12: Non-alcoholic being a misnomer. If you click through the "View Buckler" link in the link you provided, you learn that it does contain 0.5% alcohol. Not alot, obviously, but...
But Ogged, who will donate to the endowment if no one works?
12: And alcoholics shouldn't be drinking low alcohol beer. It's a bad idea.
Nick Ut seems to have the great photographer's knack for making young girl's cry.
21: What I do is work. It's just not productive.
20: I think you may have a romantic view of what it means to be a news photographer.
0.5% is really close enough to nothing to not count. Some kinds of bread contain more than 0.5% alcohol.
A lot of recovering alcoholics won't drink non-alcoholic beer, but I don't think it's because of the alcohol content so much as it's because of the implied presence of alcohol. Anyway, Bush is not a recovering alcoholic -- he just quit drinking one day. He's a dry drunk.
What's not-respectable about that photo? I guess my standards are low.
29: serious. If he was out there photographing Britany getting out of a cab sans underwear that'd be one thing, but this is legitimate news. And a pretty good photo to boot.
Stomach virus, hangover
Whichever it was, we have been denied the awesome symmetry of Bush the Lesser vomiting into a prime minister's lap.
For years after his father's memorable meal in Japan, Bushu-suru, or "to Bush," was slang for public vomiting.
31, that article seems to back up what I was trying to say -- near beer isn't dangerous because it contains alcohol, but because it smells and tastes like beer which can trigger cravings for alcohol.
I won't drink non-alcoholic beer because it tastes wrong and reminds me that I'd much rather have a real beer. I felt this way about that stuff even before I quit drinking.
As to the bread and such: I agree. My understanding is that various alcohols are produced in the body as products of the metabolism. I have had long talks with other non-practicing drunks about this and, well, opinions differ.
21: I don't believe anyone should have to work for a living, but if we abolish work, we still need somewhere that people can go to hide from their families for most of the day.
29, 32: I know it's news, but I mean, it's not quite the same.
Academics don't believe, deep down, that anyone should have to work for a living.
Of course everyone has to work. That's when you do your intellectually challenging, personally fulfilling research and writing. If you didn't work, when would you help shape human knowledge?
If you didn't work, when would you help shape human knowledge?
Commenting on Unfogged, naturally.
Preach it, brother. There is no reason I couldn't work from home, other than I can't work at home. Too many honeydoos.
It is a good photo, though, and sometimes the news near you is weeping Paris rather than burning children. It seems very fitting to mix it up in such a way. The range of human experience!
"I swear by Paris' blistered anus, no child shall burn again."
38: If you didn't work, when would you help shape human knowledge?
I do believe we should denote this philosophy as "M-work."
Where was Judge Sauer when we needed him? OJ would be in prison!
Nah, sexist -- I'm prejudiced against men who kill their wives. But it's not my fault - I blame society, and its "laws" and "morals" that have corrupted my mind.
48: Boy, are you gonna feel busted when the Juice reveals the real killer. Any day now.
She was his ex-wife, right? Big difference. Racist.
51:
I thought this was a no-cock thread.
Whichever it was, we have been denied the awesome symmetry of Bush the Lesser vomiting into a prime minister's lap.
A friend of Buck's was working in TV news at the time: I've seen the footage uncut.
Academics don't believe, deep down, that anyone should have to work for a living.
Not anyone, just those we deem as gifted as ourselves. I checked with the gang and we're mostly OK with you working.
Woah. In other celebrity malfeasance news, check out Judge Walton's grant of a motion to file an amicus brief in the Libby case. IANAL, so I don't know how common a snarky footnote in a routine filing is, but it certainly does sting.
The first few nights of Army Basic Training, there'd be one or two guys quietly sobbing in the silence after lights out.
It's a shattering thing to completely lose control of your life, and to be utterly helpless: to realize that how you feel and what you want makes absolutely no difference.
57: Ouch. I feel like I got bitch-slapped just by reading it.
57:
Is that real?
If so, Judge Walton wins my vote for Judge of the Month. Fabulous!
It's a shattering thing to completely lose control of your life, and to be utterly helpless: to realize that how you feel and what you want makes absolutely no difference.
Some of us call that "marriage."
And yeah, Judge Walton rocks!
Judge Walton is teh hero! Man alive.
Fabulous, wonderful judge snark is one of my favorite genres of all time. xoxox!
Will Libby bring a filing like that up on appeal? Seems gratuitous to me.
Fabulous, wonderful judge snark is one of my favorite genres of all time. xoxox!
Clearly, you are not a lawyer.
I suspect most lawyers think "Whew! Glad that wasnt me!"
Not me, of course. I recently had a successful published victory in an appellate court. (This slightly offsets all the crushing humiliations in appellate courts.)
I am indeed not a lawyer, though my mom is a judge (worker's comp -- I don't think she produces much in the way of crushing snarkery, but she could, I suppose, for all I know).
redfoxtailshrub:
sorrell!@!! Gotta get sorrell!! off to the store!
I do think it's generally bad behavior, because there's nothing compelling the judge to be fair about it. But it can be awfully funny.
Judges are routinely expected to give careful, polite consideration to utter b.s. It must wear on them after a while.
Judge Walton, who has doubtless sentenced many a fellow who was lucky to have his public defender awake for the hearing, was entitled to raise an eyebrow at an *amicus* (i.e., free) brief's being filed on behalf of the well-lawyered Libby.
Will, you're gonna like that one with the tortillas and the sorrel. BTW: "fajita-sized" tortillas, in case you don't eat a lot of fajitas, means "as big as one layer of the frittata". This was not clear to me.
Ah yes, I can see how that would be mysterious.
Hell, I'll go make a note of it in that entry right now.
57 makes me happy you people are so obsessed with Paris Hilton.
72
Why? There is some legal ethics rule requiring lawyers to soak the rich?
Yes, James, we hate the rich. That's precisely the point. Your robot super powers are TEH AWESOME!!!
Yes, James, we hate the rich
Wait B, Phd I thought you were nouveau? Your self loathing can be helped, with therapy.
In general, though, r-f-t-s: super yum!
I'm so glad. Your enjoyment makes me very happy.
Too bad Paris didn't shoot someone, she would have received a lighter sentence.
http://www.commercialappeal.com/mca/local/article/0,2845,MCA_25340_5576886,00.html
Wow, that deserves an honored place in the Footnote Hall of Fame. What makes it even better is that according to his official bio, Walton is a GWB appointee.
79: Speaking of self-loathing, you should see the concerned emails I get from patronizing assholes who just want me to realize that "bitch" is a bad word.
The fact that she screamed and wailed and cried (genuinely instead of alligator) kind of makes Paris seem human to me, instead of her usual deeply comical mannekin self.
From my secretly placed sources deep inside the nether regions of Chancery, I learn that Paris Hilton's named psychiatrist, Dr. Sophy, has a "fake orange tan going on year round". Exclusive to Wrongshore! Must credit Wrongshore!
84. I always thought that you had a Ph d in Bitching, not that you were shrill. Live and learn.
My source also told me that "he drives a very nice BMV or Audi and is alway dressed in what appears to be extremely expensive suits" but I held that back, because I am no chismoso.
a very nice BMV or Audi
So now we know that your source is Cryptic Ned.
87: Definitely not shrill. Just honest.
And my PhD's in bra and shoe studies, actually.
"Let's meet Roseland?" "Let's meet Jim?" "Let's meet Anna Beth?" Come on, Dr. Sophy, let's meet Paris!
No, he's the one who doesn't know what kind of car his girlfriend drives.
To see a satirical tongue-in-cheek graphic titled "The Big-Attitudes" which updates the Biblical Beatitudes to fit the Paris Hilton fiasco...link here:
88: Apparently, someone hasn't been reading her shrink's blog.
A friend just emailed me one of today's Paris Hilton photos, captioned "IM IN UR SQUAD CAR CRYIN BOUT YOUR JUSTICE".
The news coverage for the is off the hook.
you should see the concerned emails I get from patronizing assholes
I try to do you a favor, and this is the thanks I get?
A spectacle it was indeed. I watched part of it once, turned the channel, and then laughed my ass off.
If that's the worst thing that can happen in a rich person's life, how pitiful. People like her don't know what it's like to truly suffer, and that's sad. How can you grow as a person if you don't endure suffering throughout your life, as opposed to living they way she has? The worst part is that she felt she was above the law, which made me physically ill. Seeing her cry in that squad car made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Sorry, but it did. Now, on to the next topic. She doesn't deserve this much attention.
I mean, i really enjoyed her pain, but its also fucking relative. If a dude in africa gets some meat once a month its a big enjoyemnet. I bet this whole episdoe really hurt PAris, in a way we can barely understand.
"IM IN UR SQUAD CAR CRYIN BOUT YOUR JUSTICE".
So awesome.
I think now is the time for Kirk Cameron to visit Paris and bring her to Jesus.
104: That would be a great plot for her next porn movie.
You all will be glad to hear that the medical ward where Paris will be spending the weekend (assuming the women's is the same as the men's) is actually quite comfortable, with regular hospital beds and perfectly reasonable food.
1: I just belatedly realized that I went to HS with the "screwy sheriff," some 47 years ago! Haven't seen him since. . . . but still, that's only 2 (3?) degrees of separation from Teh Celebritah!
James Wolcott has come out in defense of Hilton. He believes that we should satisfy our schadenfreude needs elsewhere.
Sorry, Jim. You seem to think that schadenfreude opportunities lie thick on the ground, but it ain't so. We take what we can get.
Speaking of, has everyone seen this vid of Nancy Grace getting owned? [h/t xanax on Obsidian Wings]
It's a shattering thing to completely lose control of your life
Oh come on. It's day to day normality for most people in the world. Just because a few folks in America and Europe can pay never to grow up doesn't mean we have to waste sympathy on them.
