Surely "you have a nice breaststroke" needs, at most, a knowing glint in the eye, and no explicit addenda, to become prurient?
2: not necessarily true for "you have a nice breaststroke". It would be true for "I bet you have a nice breaststroke".
Teo, it's okay. Ogged won't date me either.
True. For "you have a nice breaststroke", first you have to say it, and then you have to present.
I take it the understanding you've reached with the lifeguard, Ogged, is that she doesn't date dirty old men.
Why is it that in today's world the "dirty old man" is frowned on while the "cougar" is lionized? I'm sick of these counterintuitive double standards.
Cougars don't need to be lionized, because they're lions.
A cougar is basically just a milder form of lion.
A compliment on your breaststroke surely gives you an opening. What we need to do is come up with a flirty, somewhat suggestive, but non-creepy response that will make the complimenter laugh so you can continue talking and then ask her out and you can go make babies.
Commenters: go!
"My internet friends and I have been talking about how hot you are."
A compliment on your breaststroke surely gives you an opening.
He already has an opening. That's not what's falling into disuse.
Sorry, I couldn't resist. Becks gave me an opening.
Just because you see an opening doesn't mean you have to dive into it.
I thought she was twenty-four, for some reason, and those two years seemed important.
Probably an internal version of the 1/2 your age plus seven rule, for some number other than seven. You should be looking in the other direction: mishaps with older women seem likely to be better for blogging.
16: No, that just makes him sound like he has multiple personality disorder.
Probably an internal version of the 1/2 your age plus seven rule
You might be right. My half-plus-seven right now is twenty-four.
C'mon, Ogged. All the cool kids are dating 22 year olds.
Dating a 22yo doesn't make you a cool kid, Becks.
No, she left it implicit.
Some of us have an ear for this sort of thing.
I believe that ear is called "tinnitus."
how is your swim going?
Swimmingly, thanks.
Tinnitus isn't a kind of ear, silly man, it's a condition that ears are prey to.
Literalism is the last refuge of the gaylord, young Ben.
I don't want to give Ben's pedantry another opening, but he is being awfully anal lately.
John Tinnitus Mellencamp doesn't have the same ring.
Yeah, that's why he dropped the middle name once he got to be middle aged, the symptoms started showing up, and the older women lost interest.
38: Thanks for making that explicit, Ben.
37: Keeping time, time, time
In a sort of Runic rhyme
To the cougarabulation that so musically wells
From the bells, bells, bells, bells
Bells, bells, bells...
Eh, I thought Ben added value. I credit apostropher with the assist.
Is this the Tonies open thread?
People! We have a task at hand! See #13!
Like an offensive guard, Apo created the opening, and Ben slid through it for the first down.
Having recently thought on the vocabulid splendor of "fetor" (q.v.) and related nuggets of the lexicon, I propose that the characteristic quality a cougar exemplifies be called "cougor".
A compliment on your breaststroke surely gives you an opening.
Yeah, seriously. She's already taken the first step. What's wrong with a good old straightforward: "Thanks. I was noticing your [plausibly swimming-related skill]. How do you [blah blah swimming talk]"?
I can't believe I'm posting this. Where are the clever people?
""You have a nice breaststroke"
"Thank you. There are other variations which I'm similarly skilled at."
Late-in-life cases of gonorrhea in females are characterized by calor, rubor, turgor and cougor.
"Me with all this breaststroke, and nothing to stroke!"
#2:
"You have a nice breaststroke"
"I'm single and have no plans for this evening and I smell good."
Compounds of cougor are called cougids.
As an extension of the task, how about coming up with something better than "you're young"?
I can't believe I'm posting this. Where are the clever people?
They're trying to figure out how to say, "I'd like to stroke your breast," in Latin.
how about coming up with something better than "you're young"?
That was my way of letting go of that one, even younger L.
#3:
"You have a nice breaststroke"
"I greaty appreciate your saying so. When I was younger, I was certain to represent my home country of Iran in the Olympics. It would have made my family, the Royal family of Iran, very proud. But I grew disgusted with our freedom-hating, autocratic traditional ways, and how we treated women as objects instead of as equals. I got into fights with my uncles, and one of them shot me. (show scar) I was partially paralyzed for many years, and fled here to the United States, where I have been much happier, despite losing my part of the family fortune. Only recently have I been able to really swim again, an activity I have loved all my life. To hear that I am passable at it once more, enough to impress a pretty lady such as yourself, has made me more happy than you can know."
Well, that's probably for the best. The post makes it sound like you think you pulled off an unspoken conversation laden with meaning; I was worried.
The post makes it sound like you think you pulled off an unspoken conversation laden with meaning
Yes, but the meaning was "Holy shit, I'm sorry for macking on you, my child."
John Mellencamp was stuck with John "Cougar" by the record label, who printed up jackets with John Cougar without telling him. So he says. And he went back as soon as he could.
Ogged, has it ever occurred to you that you could enjoy a much happier personal life if you just bleedin' well dated some of these women, irrespective of their age and the opinions of your imaginary Internet friends?
Thanks. Wanna be my coach?
Thanks. Have you ever thought of moving to Sweden?
Thanks. Are you part of the Persian grapevine?
(I think I'd better stick with the earnestness.)
Apo, stop marveling over your amazing daughter and come make jokes.
I imagine ogged's swims to be something like those elaborate Esther Williams routines, but with this Iranian guy happily breast-stroking about; and since I've never seen ogged, I imagine him resembling Ahmadinejad. I would give just about anything to commit this vision to film, but I suspect that Ahmadinejad's cooperation would be far too expensive.
I think 60 pretty much wraps this thread up.
rephrased 57: I believe, "Tim", that there is little overlap between the set of clever people who are trying to say that in Latin, and the set of clever people who would be able to help with Becks' task.
I'm sorry for macking on you
Aren't you giving yourself a little too much credit?
Seriously, Ogged. Did you respond to the compliment? Or did you flee with embarassment that a girl spoke to you?
Based on my extensive knowledge of the human brain, you have a fear of success. You approach 22 yr olds bc you know that you are entirely too old for them.
Then, an actual, live woman with a similar interest in swimming approaches you? How about "would you like to do a set with me?"?
Mmm, I mean "rephrased 58".
He very probably would enjoy a happier personal life if he followed the advice of slolernr (63). But Ogged would never be happy being happy.
So the lifeguard's out of the picture.
Coming in late; do we know what ogged actually replied to the breaststroke compliment? Cause he must have said something, surely.
48 is right-on. Perhaps followed by some classier version of 53?
you have a fear of success
Despite the parade of ignominy cataloged on this blog, and as I was remarking to someone a couple of weeks ago, from about the age of 17 to the age of 31, I think I was single for a total of about three months. I've got boyfriend skills, but I have no becoming-a-boyfriend skills.
What I said was something like "Thanks. I took lessons from someone who was really good, which I think helped." Not exactly a pickup line, but maybe we can think of it as planting a seed.
In my humble opinion, many swimmers like to swim with someone else. So, when you see a lone swimmer, ask if they want to do a set with you. Male or female.
ask if they want to do a set with you
"...ATM"
I've got boyfriend skills, but I have no becoming-a-boyfriend skills.
I was about to ask how you got together with Ex, and ExBeforeLast.
74:
So you have a fear of being alone? Therefore, you are paralyzed by a fear of rejection into total paralysis. This is fun!
"You have a nice breaststroke"
"You should see my strokes when I'm alone in front of the computer."
I met exbeforelast at a department mixer, we chatted briefly and that was that, until a few days later when I was walking along and she was driving by, saw me, turned into the driveway in front of me and said "hop in."
Ex I met, lost touch with, then courted internetically, which I can do.
maybe we can think of it as planting a seed
Oh, you really are just about beyond hope.
80: I have a fear of spiders -- how is this going to affect my dating prospects?
"Planting a seed"????!??!???!
You are a single male of average to above-average intelligence, perhaps slightly above-average athletic ability, and at least average interest in doing interesting things.
You don't need to be planting. Every day, you should be harvesting! Bring the crops home baby!
(85 in jest -- I actually am neither afraid of spiders nor "on the market".)
Clownaesthesiologist:
Fear of spiders is not a problem as long as you do not fear killing spiders.
Can you muster enough manliness to crush spiders and like bugs with gusto?
What would I have said? Dude, I'm married. What should you have said? "Thanks. Hey, would you like to have a drink sometime?" You could then optionally be cute about not having anything to write down her number with, but better not: the direct approach generally suffices.
88:
So you fear your gf or wife reading this blog?
"Thanks. Hey, would you like to have a drink sometime?"
You canNOT be serious.
89: I leave that to my Mexican manservant.
Caveat:
Be careful getting relationship advice from a divorce lawyer. We always have ulterior motives.
91: No, just clarifying.
(That's what I'm here for, folks: clarification.)
ogged, I liked that movie you were in, Amélie. Perhaps you could devise a stratagem.
"I am swimming next week at 330 pm. Do you want to do a workout then? Give me your email address in case I need to change the time. Thanks!"
not having anything to write down her number with
Gouge it into your forearm with a fingernail. Then you get manliness points as well.
I can't believe people--people who, by all accounts, know other non-Internetical people--are treating the "what the line" thing in earnest. There is no magic line. You are, at most, trying to get a conversation going. She flashes her age, ogged raises his eyebrow and asks if she has a much older sister. At which point, if he has any shot, she asks his age. Or he says more or less any other thing that will elicit a question of some sort from her.
As I recall, in a similar situation in the movie Scoop, the Ogged-equivalent asked Scarlett Johansson to attend a garden party at his family's mansion because he was desperate for any sort of date and she might enjoy it.
Is your family having a garden party at their mansion soon?
Or he says more or less any other thing that will elicit a question of some sort from her.
"Betcha ten bucks it won't fit in your mouth."
Timbot, you seem confused about the situation.
Tim:
Arent we talking about two different women?
22 is WAY to young for anything other than physical exercise.
The other woman was older.
75: Really? I find that the window of similar speeds for which this works is small enough that having people in my lane in rec swim is just annoying. Masters was fun, though.
Ogged is clearly enjoying his strategy of letting the women come to him, and since he can (mostly) pull it off, why should he do anything different? It's even gender-enlightened!
Ah. Must read more closely, not conflate people. Same general rule applies. Ask her if she swam a lot growing up.
I met exbeforelast at a department mixer, we chatted briefly and that was that, until a few days later when I was walking along and she was driving by, saw me, turned into the driveway in front of me and said "hop in."
Now I finally understand what was really going on when, walking down Palm Drive, I encountered one of my (male) professors in a zippy-looking car, who asked me if I needed a ride.
I'd buy that more if you looked like Kotsko, w-lfs-n.
Do you even know what Kotsko looks like?
He posted a picture of himself, remember?
Cougids take cougous and cougic forms.
I think ogged knows what he's doing much better than he lets on. It's more fun this way, and we play along. In the second part of the post, in particular, ogged has demonstrated the ability to minimize awkwardness.
Ogged, you dummy, Slol's right. You say something like, "weren't we supposed to have a date sometime?"
I think ogged knows what he's doing much better than he lets on.
Obviously, the only way to settle this is for him to vlog his lunchtime swims.
With regard to the first part of the post, we should keep in mind that ogged swims at the same place every day and that, through confluence of schedules (and due to the fact that swimmers are known to be highly schedule-bound) there is high likelihood for recurrent encounters. No reason to throw everything out there at once.
Marry your hott damn cousin, Ogged. It's Kismet or whatever you folk call it. (What is the Persian word for "Daisy Duke", btw?)
No reason to throw everything out there at once.
Are you high? When an attractive woman gives you a compliment, ask her out damnit.
Everyone's advice is still good, if we were to assume that ogged weren't putting us on a bit.
From now on I am text-the-constructive and will limit my words of discouragement. I think I have been misunderstanding this medium herein.
Or "Lulabelle"?
I believe that the Persian word for "Pansy" is "Atlas". So I've been told, anyway.
If you're going to see the attractive woman again, like fer sher, you don't have to ask her out right away. You probably shouldn't wait a whole year.
It would have been funny, ogged, if you had looked at her with flat accusing eyes and said, "Don't bother; I'm gay."
(What is the Persian word for "Daisy Duke", btw?)
Capris.
When an attractive woman gives you a compliment, ask her out damnit.
Are you guys serious about this? It's like a woman can't speak to anyone without some guy assuming she's coming on to him.
You probably shouldn't wait a whole year.
So much for romance.
127 gets it right. In the world we live in, it is even possible that the woman who made such a remark is married!!!!
Speaking of excessively young women, the waitress tonight was a tremendously cute and cheerful 35-to-40 year old. Questioning brought out the fact that she was the daughter-in-law of a friend from high school.
127 is correct, but it is possible to, y'know, flirt without jumping straight into the "I'm desperate will you date me please?" thing.
Anyway, she talked to you, so obviously she wants to fuck you.
It would have been funny, ogged, if you had looked at her with flat accusing eyes and said, "Don't bother; I'm gay."
Some girl was talking to me at the party at which I narrowly avoided meeting Jake, and seemed obviously already rather drunk, plus I was in a kind of bad mood, and the temptation to just say something like "I don't even want to pretend to be interested in this conversation" was strong. Fortunately, I didn't.
I wonder if episodes like the above have anything to do with my continuing singleness.
And she was blonde, blonde, blonde! Like everyone in Minnesota.
Married women aren't allowed in public pools, Neddo.
It's like a woman can't speak to anyone without some guy assuming she's coming on to him.
Ladies, explain to Ogged that women usually just don't randomly compliment men on their swimming.
132: What, barely concealed hostility? Nope, chicks dig that.
Oh wait -- somehow I thought 130 (to which 136 is a response) was written by Ben w-lfs-n. I see now that it is not.
Ladies, explain to Ogged that women usually just don't randomly compliment men on their swimming.
What if they're good swimmers?
137: see, that's what I figured too.
You thought Ben w-lfs-n went to high school with someone who has a 35- to 40-year-old daughter-in-law?
Ladies, explain to Ogged that women usually just don't randomly compliment men on their swimming.
I'm not sure. They're swimmers, after all, so saying "nice stroke" to someone isn't really so weird. And remember that the Lifeguard also told me, once upon a time, that I have a nice breaststroke, so lesson learned.
I believe they're called "nontraditional students", Ned.
What if they're good swimmers?
See, women have this weird ability *not* to just blurt out whatever they're thinking to or about total strangers. We're weird that way.
Right, b, the implication of what I said was that a female swimmer, confronted by a good swimmer, would have no choice but to compliment that swimmer—not that being a good swimmer might merely supply the female swimmer with sufficient reason to do so.
Where "sufficient reason" obviously doesn't mean a reason that actually produces action, but a reason sufficient to explain the action, should it be taken.
Alternately, one of your classmates could have married a 70-year-old when she was 20.
141: I think part of the boyfriend-becoming skill is realizing that rejection is survivable and par for the course. (I'm not claiming to be great about that, myself.)
They're swimmers, after all, so saying "nice stroke" to someone isn't really so weird.
I'm just saying, if an attractive woman has already seen your body hair, and strikes up a conversation anyways, it's time to make a move.
See, women have this weird ability *not* to just blurt out whatever they're thinking to or about total strangers. We're weird that way.
Well, some of us, sometimes.
rejection is survivable
As I've said before, rejection is not something I worry about. I'm just saying that the compliment isn't the unambiguous signal some people are saying it is.
The phallus is the Unambiguous Signal.
Shorter Unfogged: Don't just stand there, bust a move!
144: Yeah, and what I said clearly meant that I thought you were saying a woman swimmer would be compelled to compliment Ogged, and in no way could possibly have been taken as a joke or a response tying together Gswift's 135 and your 139.
150: No, but see, it's an opportunity to say something charming. If only you knew how.
I wouldn't say it in no way could possibly have been taken as a joke, but it was humorless.
Rejection is survivable. Just hit on every attractive woman by saying "Hey, lady, wanna fuck?" 50 hits a week means 1-3 scores a month. Every once in awhile one will stick, but you want to keep on hitting even if one of them becomes a regular, because you never know.
150: Okay. You're a better man than I, Gunga Din.
the compliment isn't the unambiguous signal
Imagine if it was Teo telling your story. What would you tell him to do?
Also, ben, now that I have seen your picture, I do have to wonder about your continuing singleness. Seriously. Not even being a little bit mean. You look like a young Trotsky! How can you not be constantly be surrounded by adoring little left-bunnies? I think you would do better here in Minneapolis. Where everyone is blond of course. Except Mary Tyler Moore's statue.
Imagine if it was Teo telling your story. What would you tell him to do?
A question to ask oneself at every juncture life offers.
There actually are people who seriously offer the advice in 156.
You look like a young Trotsky!
*brane melts*
Jake:
You do not like to swim with attractive women unless they are your exact same speed? Seriously?
Your workout is more important than a hot girl?
This is the opposite of University of Texas men's team's t-shirt in the late 80's: "Cheat on your girlfriend, not on your workout!"
155: I endeavor to uphold my reputation at all times.
Honey, if I had looks like yours, I wouldn't worry about having no brains.
Having a melted brain might actually be an advantage.
161: For example, me.
I have known people who practiced that method, and it works. It's like cold-calls. I think mostly it was 20-year-olds from the country, new in town and working in restaurants and convenience stores. Hott 20-year-olds.
And The Sopranos ends with a Journey song. Verdict: second greatest show ever!
168: Yeah, what the hell was that shit. I want to kick David Chase's ass.
What I would tell Teo is to strike up a conversation. And, honestly, I'm not so bad at that, but I'm terrible at it in the pool, because I'm usually huffing and puffing and oxygen deprived. I need to think of something in advance, because the brain is not working in the moment.
"Baby, it could just be my arrhythmia, but my heart just skipped a beat when you spoke to me."
1. Teo should not take our advice, if he's really 22.
2. However, there is reason to believe that Teo is a 45-year-old perv and stalker looking for vulnerable young academics of either sex to satisfy his unnatural appetites with.
173: That's a funny point of style. Two "justs" really is one too many, even though they both have a meaning.
Did you swim growing up?
Where did you swim?
How often are you swimming?
have you ever thought of doing Master's?
Would you like to have sex with me?
Have you heard of Will? I learned everything i know from him. Let me video tape you and send the tape to him to analyize your stroke.
What kind of workouts do you do?
Advice to teo:
"You have a nice breaststroke."
"I'm young."
"Your swimsuit fits you unbelievably well".
How often are you swimming?
This is really "do you come here often?" but it was my first instinct, too. Something like, "do you swim on the weekends?" which then lets me mention that I swim on weekdays, which can lead to my cushy job, and her job, etc.
"You have a nice breaststroke."
"Thanks. You have nice breasts."
How often are you swimming?
This is good if you want to convey that your first language is Hindi.
181 was probably offensive in some way, but it made me laugh.
If you'd prefer not to risk giving office and convey that your first language is Irish, say "Is it swimming often you are?" instead.
"I am doing the swimming three times each of the weeks on the Mondays, the Wednesdays, and the Fridays."
"You have a nice breaststroke."
"Ooh, you do work fast, you white women."
You should have looked at your chest dubiously, then looked at her with some confusion and said, "Thanks. You have nice breasts, too."
Emerson's persistence (per 130) is giving the lie to his protestations of antirelationshipitarianism.
This is really "do you come here often?" but it was my first instinct, too. Something like, "do you swim on the weekends?" which then lets me mention that I swim on weekdays, which can lead to my cushy job, and her job, etc.
i was going to say: You don't need our help, you big liar, and then I remembered Becks was the one who put us up to this.
He doesn't need our help, Becks. He can not-get women all on his own.
witt:
Of course our "help" is worthless. But, maybe, just maybe, he tries one of our ludicrous ideas and gets humiliated. One can hope.
Today I was reading a young adult sort of novel from the beginning of the 20th century (Gene Stratton Porter's "Freckles"), in which the protagonist talked very Irish sheerly on account of his ancestry--he'd been abandoned in early infancy to a Chicago orphanage, but his parents had been Irish, so it was Irishly he'd be talking. There's also a striking scene in which the gentle and moneyed young woman he falls in love with demonstrates her virtuousness by means of her innate and intuitive sense for the art of soda jerkery.
One thing I realize is that I have a genuine and genuinely stupid aversion to going for the easy win; when I played a lot of basketball, I would avoid my pet move (a turnaround from the low block, timbot) out of some misguided sense of honor, like of course the pet move works, but how else can I score? And ever since a friend told me that they banned easy questions like "what do you do for a living?" at her speed-dating session, I try to avoid them, too. Don't tell me how stupid this is, that would be too easy and dishonorable.
74:
What I said was something like "Thanks. I took lessons from someone who was really good, which I think helped." Not exactly a pickup line, but maybe we can think of it as planting a seed.
I haven't read the rest of the thread.
We all -- well, some of us -- do this.
Yesterday I helped a friend attend his booth at an art/craft fair. I walked around and wound up chatting at length with another vendor. I was, at the time, looking at people's approaches to display of their wares.
I told this other vendor that what attracted me to his booth was the vibrant ivy plant (which was complementary to his wares). The guy just lit up, and we talked for 10 minutes about our respective home plants. His windows don't face the right way, his plants are usually on the way to the graveyard, it is a trouble; I said some stuff about elderly plants, repotting is such a pain. We were grinning the whole time.
The point -- he asked my name, we exchanged names, we shook hands, and he had a prospective customer, so I wandered off. I asked myself toward the end of the day whether I should go over to his booth again. Like, what was that?
It was something that could be taken up, maybe; or something to let pass. I let it pass.
So Ogged! You don't need pickup lines. Plant a seed and follow it up, dude. Say to the woman, assuming you see her again: Hi, hey, I got the idea you know something about breaststroke, I've been fussing about my kick. [or whatever that is that you are concerned about]
All this Irish-talk makes me wonder: which of the various Brit (or UK or whatever) accents should ogged be faking to maximize his chances?
(a turnaround from the low block, timbot)
Wow. You must have weighed, what, 100 lbs. back then? If you could get into the post, apparently your misguided sense of honor didn't keep you from playing against eighth grade girls.
I've been this size since seventh grade. I was the center.
ever since a friend told me that they banned easy questions like "what do you do for a living?" at her speed-dating session, I try to avoid them, too.
Hm. It's cute, it's self-aware, it's signals dating availabity and shows off that he has female friend(s). By George, I think he's got it.
Should this now become the "how about that Sopranos finale?" thread? Do any of you even watch the show?
I, apparently, don't have proofreading skills.
Should this now become the "how about that Sopranos finale?" thread?
Whatever, fegele.
"how about that Sopranos finale?" thread? Do any of you even watch the show?
I do, but have to watch a lot of it on DVD because of the night shift thing.
196: Not watching the filthy Frenchman have public sex with various Cavaliers?
RFTS: Why were you reading Freckles? And, relatedly, isn't it weird to go back a hundred years and see what kinds of ethnic stereotypes were so widely known as to be common novelistic shorthand? I'm thinking of some of the asides from Louisa May Alcott, but actually even up to the first round of Nancy Drew.
196: Not watching the filthy Frenchman have public sex with various Cavaliers?
They were up almost thirty at half, and I haven't turned it back on. Here I go...
163: It's exactly the sentiment shown on that shirt! With hot girls in your lane you can't blow snot rockets into the gutter, you have to wonder if you should say anything at the wall or just nod mutely, and trying to ogle them when you go by could cause you to end up favoring one side in freestyle. Better to avoid the situation entirely. And besides, hot girls are overrated. Unless they fly helicopters.
Also, since I am at least in some ways competitive, and find people who are similarly competitive attractive, I think that having a shared interest where one person always loses is not conducive to long term relationship health. Although now that my ex and I figured out that she's better at math and I make more money and there's no point in arguing otherwise, the spark is somewhat lacking.
witt:
I don't proofread either. Who cares? (except the grammar police)
I have a genuine and genuinely stupid aversion to going for the easy win
How to be Lonely, by ogged.
203: Don't. I don't want to be responsible for that. Ugh.
He may be single, but at least he's got his dignity.
having a shared interest where one person always loses is not conducive to long term relationship health
Amen to that.
Oh, just because. I'd been reminded of the existence of A Girl of the Limberlost by someone, and so I went and re-read that, and then I figured I might as well find out what the hell the story was with the Bird Woman, and Freckles, and the Angel, since I couldn't really make sense of any of them at all in the context of the later book.
Here is the big secret, dude: Nobody is actually giving out style points.
Nobody is actually giving out style points.
Oh, you're one to talk, Mr. Suave.
Come one Jake. A woman does not really expect to beat a man in swimming. Competitive simply means being able to do the same intervals. You get more rest. She gets less rest.
But, you always dominate her.
Fer chrissake, ogged. You know as well as anyone that any sports where judges award points for style is not a real sport.
We weren't talking about the sport, were we?
Oh, you're one to talk, Mr. Suave.
Well, I mean, there's no penalty for style. If you have it.
Here is the big secret, dude: Nobody is actually giving out style points.
Ah, but slol, you forget the great truth, that when that One Great Scorer comes to mark against your name, he marks not if you won or lost, but how you played the game.
Stepping out for a bit...pick on Ben while I'm gone.
Plus, style is the only way to be free. Read yr Schiller.
Shush. I'm doing Theory.
They were up almost thirty at half, and I haven't turned it back on. Here I go...
Gotta hand it to Lebron, he really stepped it up for game two. 9-21 from the field, 7-11 from the free throw line... Dynamite stuff.
...not if you won or lost, but how you played the game
I don't swim, but when a cutie at a cafe tried striking up a conversation with me by complimenting my Sudoku-solving, instead of returning the volley (insert germane compliment) I blurted, "Thanks, I developed my own notation, wanna see?"
I get approached by girls/women every now and again when I am out taking photographs.
'Hi, that's a cute/interesting/wierd/old-looking camera'
I suspect it's like the breaststroke thing. If I was single, I'd be totally asking them out.
What I said was something like "Thanks. I took lessons from someone who was really good, which I think helped." Not exactly a pickup line, but maybe we can think of it as planting a seed.
I think you might have come across as more of a manly, self-assured, James Bond kind of guy if you'd instead said:
"gigggle giggle simper! wooheehooheehoo!" and run away.
"Thanks. I took lessons from someone who was really good, which I think helped."
"Well, I was trained by the best - British Intelligence. But in retrospect, I'd rather have been a poet. Or a farmer."
Follow it up with a crack about "in my day, we did it all with a snorkel and a pair of flippers" and you're sorted.
"Well, I was trained by the best - British Intelligence. But in retrospect, I'd rather have been a poet. Or a farmer."
Truly, that would have been great.
You have a nice breaststroke
"Thanks, that means a lot, because my wife taught it to me. She died on 9/11."
No one fucking wants to be a farmer. Everyone knows that. Worst pickup line in the world.
"This guy's an idiot who wishes that his house smelled like manure. No thanks."
"Thanks. I get a lot of practice while providing swimming therapy to injured dogs. I run a dog rescue operation, y'see."
I end up getting a lot of public compliments/comments on my folding bike. But mostly from working-class men, who I think are actually curious about it.
236: Depends on the sort of farm - apple trees don't produce manure.
(It's a line from The Most Awesome Film Ever Made.)
re: 239
Surely not. Surely re: 239
Surely not. Surely this is the most awesomest ever.
In America, orchards are not farms.