I'm tired of dry cleaning the slacks.
I'll bet you are.
You could try Ann Taylor's EasyCare line.
How often are you dry cleaning? If you're picky, I have no help for you, but if you can handle a lttle wrinkling, I say go with linen. Crisp linen exudes a certain aura, but slightly slumped linen looks, to my eye, very refined without being at all uptight.
With my linen pants, I wear them 4-5 times between washings, and iron only after washing (no dry cleaning, but you have to be willing to iron).
Also, linen looks really good in a variety of shades, which is nice for men's clothing.
I want a new teaching look
You can never go wrong with a muumuu.
I love linen pants, JR. Crisp or wrinkled both look good, and it's a nice midpoint between formal and casual.
What I really want to know is what's up with this style of tie? It looks as if he's wearing a strip of dishrag.
I'm wearing linen pants right now.
Wrinkled McFlaxenPants.
Two words: Leder. Hosen. The kids love 'em.
Shit! Labs is right - the 80s are coming back, and they want you to wear an uglier tie.
6: So what's the question again?
A pair or two of wool pants serves the same function when linen is unseasonable - they don't get that cool wrinkled-yet-nice effect, but decent weight wool pants don't wrinkle much.
Have you considered one of those Dickens/Rumsfeld standing desks? And no car? That would help, too.
Thicker wool pants in the fall/winter. You really don't need to dry clean them more than say 2/3 times a year unless you are a real sweat hog. Corduroys can be machine washed, and you can get them in work-appropriate.
For spring/summer, some linen and seersucker can be machine washed. Also, get some open-weave wool trousers, they're even cooler than linen. Requires drycleaning but you still don't need to wash them all that much, they're much better than cotton.
8: whats not go get? those are great for more casual.
Here's a good example of the open weave wool trousers.
16: I guess "more casual" means your clothes get more blurry and soft, but if you're going to wear a tie shouldn't it produce a clean line against the shirt?
I actually have taken to buying "microfiber" slacks at ... wait for it ... Wal-Mart.
Pop 'em out of the dryer as soon as it stops, hang them by the cuffs, and they're wrinkle-free, and certainly passable. They haven't worn terribly well, tho I do wash the heck out of 'em, but for $20 or $22 a pair, who cares?
Nothing says "Respect Ma' Authoritah" like leather chaps, big guy.
Its running the same way the seersucker jacket or the button down shirt are: casual versions of more staid looks. They all work together pretty well.
Linen makes summer livable. So i guess i understand the devil connexion, in a way; he probably invented the shit.
"microfibre slacks"
????
those are from hephaestus: ugly and lame.
If you get a heavy enough cotton twill, you can machine wash them, take them out of the drier a little damp, put them on a hanger and they look ironed. Brooks Brothers pants work for me on this (shut up. I know they're lame, but the cut fits me). The crease stays sharp for a number of washings, and you can iron them or get them cleaned occasionally when they start looking shapeless.
Linen makes summer livable.
Nah, that would be "air conditioning." If summer is too hot for you, go indoors.
OMG, my dad LOVES knit ties. They're so gross.
ugly and lame
But wrinkle-free!
Actually, they look okay, if you're not looking to impress by your pants alone. Not all of 'em, by any means. I've got one pair that's indistinguishable from some $70 dep't store slacks that I'd foolishly bought.
Of course, I am probably just displaying my complete lack of sartorial taste. Have fun at the dry-cleaners, you studly types.
Btw, Lemieux, don't tell anyone I *stole* those pants!
I wear suit or sportjacket+slacks virtually every workday, and dry-clean my slacks very rarely -- and then, usually only the lighter ones. If you hang 'em up, they stay pretty smooth.
The thing you want to avoid are cotton khakis. A, because their khakis, and B, because they get wrinkly and dirty at a faster rate than wool slacks.
Also: flat front. Just sayin'. Pleats, as my sister put it, "make thin people look fat and fat people look fatter."
My friend has a fantastic skinny seersucker suit from his dad that I used to wear in college. Oh, how I loved that suit. I outgrew it, he didn't.
When I got lazy last year, and poor, I bought me some LL Bean flat-front no-iron flat front traditional cut khakis. They might not flatter a gentleman of fuller habit. But they keep a nice crease and look respectable with a blazer.
Oh, did I mention they were flat front?
Also cotton chinos absolutely do not breath well, so if you do have to leave your cave in the summer, like some of us must, it gets pretty unpleasant. And they start to look ragged pretty quickly, and don't look 'worn-in cool" until you've put many more wears into them, at which point they aren't really right for the office. And they still don't look very cool.
Pleats are good, but only on high-waisted trousers as part of a suit. IF you wear your trousers like most people do, below the waist, or don't wear a jacket, they look dumb. That said, flat fronts need to be slimmer.
Wouldn't the vertical stripes on seersucker pants make Labs look like the Tallest! Man! Alive!?
No, the stripes are too skinny and puckered for that effect. They would however make him look like a JP Morgan partner circa 1915.
Traditional khakis, usually Lands End, sometimes LL Bean or even Dickies. With blazer, I probably wear a knit tie more often than any other kind.
What is the difference between khakis and chinos?
Ah. Wikipedia explains that chinos are called khakis in the U.S., even though "khaki" is technically only a color and chino refers to the material.
Wikipedia also says, "Chino trousers are currently considered the pinnacle of haute-couture and are worn by fashionable young men across the western hemisphere."
FL, aren't you a philosophy professor? Doesn't everyone in your dept wear jeans to work? I don't see too many dry-cleaned humanities types around here. Are you one of those guys who wears a bow-tie and suspenders as a 'rebellion'?
i have one pair of super skinny khakis that are slightly flaire so pretty much the anti-traditional khaki fit. and one pair i sowed a blue grosgrain ribbon down the outside seams. Both are cotton though. You can get linen/cotton blend pants.
Also, linen/silk blend pants are pretty dressy and mature looking.
Wikipedia also says, "Chino trousers are currently considered the pinnacle of haute-couture and are worn by fashionable young men across the western hemisphere."
I think some Wikipedia user is trying to fuck with us.
I just had a meeting with my boss and am now in my office, wearing this
I'm guilty of wearing cotton slacks more often than I ought because they're easy. I even got one of the no-iron pairs from Nordstrom, and they're friggin indestructible. It's like going back to my childhood sears toughskins, which I wore unthinkingly until I was mocked out of it by my peers.
Labs is a notorious clotheshorse
Oh, well, I see I've shared enough info to disqualify me from offering any advice. No pictures of bears, either.
I hate wearing jeans to work. I want something that says professional yet casual. I'm trying to send a message: yeah, I could give a lecture on moral realism, or I could take off your candy garter with my teeth-- it's all good.
The title of this post has finally made me point this out. Because you want trousers.
Labs thinks he wants a new look, or he thinks there are myriad ways for men to dress like uptight honkies in our society; both beliefs are false.
Why casual at all? Suit with high-waisted pants, suspenders. By the time you begin your lecture your sleeves are rolled halfway up, your bow tie is off, and your collar is open. No one knows that your lectures contain valuable clues that the Resistance will use to interrupt the supply chain. I'm going to excuse myself now.
I'm trying to send a message: yeah, I could give a lecture on moral realism, or I could take off your candy garter with my teeth-- it's all good.
That is rather a lot to ask of a pair of pants, or even a pair of trousers. Maybe you should just put that message on the syllabus?
LB's got it. I read the post and thought, um, what's wrong with chinos? Other than that everyone else is wearing them, I mean. But hey, you're a professor. Go to Banana Republic or whatever, and buy some.
When I got lazy last year, and poor
I must admit, I had wondered.
B, tell me: what pants could I wear that wouldn't make me into that Modern Love guy but would still make you think, damn, uptight honky's got it going on? I break for a meal while you contemplate your response. "Space pants" not acceptable.
I'm really curious what those "space pants" were.
I had this totally rad pair of pants in grade school with neon green zippers on the in like 5 places, but now all i see are levis' repros.
i sure was cool in grade school.
You should dress like a trolley conductor every single day.
Labs you should wear girl jeans, so your students can relate, emo-style.
56: I shall have to get back to you. PK wants me to help him play with legos now.
I'm already sorry that school's out for the summer.
Labs, as a male philosophy professor, it is unimportant what pants, if any, that you wear. What's important is that your grow a ZZ Top beard.
Need I say more?
(Female philosophy professors are, of course, exempt from this fashion requirement. Wearing one of these to lecture in will not hurt your career, however.)
Also, you people who are hatin' on pleats can bite me.
I must admit, I had wondered.
I get no respect.
"donnez moi un break" is, sadly, the true face of the Left today.
What's important is that your grow a ZZ Top beard.
"I went to see the doctor of philosophy,
With a poster of Rasputin and a beard down to his knee ...."
But then it's tough to see the pants.
I've never seen anyone in a knit tie who didn't look like an idiot. That's just empirical though, could be sample bias.
I am concerned by yoyo's contention far up thread, that one only need dry-clean wool pants two or three times a year. Can this horrible statement represent widespread practice? If it is, I'm sure glad I work with badly-dressed but not-wool-wearing scientists. 'Cause cleaning pants twice a year? Like, ew.
53: Why casual at all? Suit with high-waisted pants, suspenders. By the time you begin your lecture your sleeves are rolled halfway up, your bow tie is off, and your collar is open. No one knows that your lectures contain valuable clues that the Resistance will use to interrupt the supply chain.
Write for the J. Peterman catalogue in your spare time?
No, wait, the J. Peterman catalogue is right-wing and all about teh imperialist nostalgia. How do I know? I got a copy in the mail a couple of weeks ago, and it wants you to shell out for the, I shit you not, plantation owner's hat. "Some people," the copy reads, "work on the plantation. Some people own the plantation. This is the owner's hat." Truly, beyond satire.
66: In From Russia With Love, James Bond is specifically described as wearing a knit tie in a photograph taken surreptitiously by the KGB.
We exploit labor the old-fashioned way. We enslave it.
I own two knit ties. I look kinda dumb in both of them.
51: Neither you nor Labs is British, last I checked.
67: I'm told that wool has natural anti-bacterial properties.
72: Nothing could have that much anti-bacterial property. Perhaps yoyo merely exudes a natural sweetness, as the bodies of saints are said to do, and so he doesn't need to dryclean things.
I wear boxers under my trousers so i don't have to get any sweat on my trousers.
Also note i was talking about fall/winter trousers. I don't excercise in them much so not really much chance for sweat.
I have a pair of jeans i haven't washed for 6 months, though. THey don't smell yet.
3 peice mohair? mohair is a summer fabric, doesn't really go with the 3 peice.
You're junior faculty. Break out the Diesel jeans and the hipster tees and hair product. Pout. Get high evals from undergrads wanting your body but pretending they're interested in philosophy.
Wearing khakis and a short-sleeve shirt makes you look like my advisor, i.e., adorable, but nerdy. Unless you have tenure, don't.
More seriously, linen is nice. I heart my linen pants. (Be glad you're not a girl. Hard to dress to teach.)
Fuck pleats.
75: I take this on faith, I really do. But you must be a dry and lizard-like fellow.
I do not love linen. I've never yet encountered linen that didn't wrinkle frumpily. Perhaps if one were tall and very thin and the product of generations of WASP inbreeding, the rumpling might look casual and yacht-ish, but it sure doesn't work that way on me. Although I am at this very moment wearing some pretty sharp linen-cotton pants imported via Ebay from the UK.
I'm glad I no longer teach anyone anything. I do bully undergraduates a bit, but merely being ten years older than them gives me enough leverage that I need not dress for psychological advantage.
Labs, do they even make these for such prodigious inseams as yours?
For my casual 100% linen pants, i roll them up before i put them on to get them extra wrinkled just to make it clear that they're supposed to look like that.
I have to dress for psychological advantage. I really don't look old enough yet to be in charge of a classroom.
Linen wrinkles sort of frumpily on me, but in the summer, it just looks frumpily relaxed.
82: I do, but they're either very fine wool twill (pants) or merino knit (skirts), and I hand-wash them in cold water, press out excess water, lay flat to dry, etc. So what do I know? Probably not much about dry-clean only wool pants....
oh i don't think the 'dry clean only' is actually true. how do you know when to wash them?
83: We seriously need a Sartorialist-style feature on Unfogged. I am impressed by the degree of dandyism and obsession involved in pre-wrinkling one's pants. (No, honestly, I am. I was just thinking today that the only good thing ever written by John Irving is a line from, I believe, The Hotel New Hampshire: "You've got to get obsessed and stay obsessed", and how the only really happy-making things I've achieved have come from that kind of fussy obsession.)
77: That's what makes it daring and innovative.
It's a matter of fabric--the finer and tighter the weave or knit, the more likely you are to be able to hand-wash in cold water. If the fabric has a refined surface, you may loose that, though--I usually wash silk charmeuse things right away to get rid of the shine, actually. A wool crepe probably shouldn't be hand-washed, since it will almost certainly shrink. But a fabric that feels like that "pinpoint oxford" fabric only wool can usually be hand-washed. You kind of need a feel for it, though--when I lived in China, I had some pants made and I always pre-washed the fabric (which I bought separately) myself (so that I could hand-wash them later). That clarified a lot.
Of course, it's much more difficult to wash anything with any serious kind of lining.
Don't try this on your favorite pants first, is what I'm saying.
I agree with yoyo only insofar as linen is nice precisely because it's ok if it's wrinkled.
We should obviously get The Manolo to stop by occasionally.
This is probably the thread to mention that my damn pocket watch stopped running.
oh cool. I've washed linen and sweaters that say dry clean only, but never troupsers/jackets.
Awww, sorry to hear that about the pocket watch.
91: Watch out for silk, though--I'm not sure why you'd have any silk knits, but some of them wash perfectly and some of them shrink like mad, and it's hard to tell which is which.
90: But surely you could work up some kind of dandyish little performance about how it's always thus-and-such an hour? Particularly if it stopped at an evocative time--twelve, or bar close, or bar open or something. Or you could carry two pocket watches, one for your favorite time and one for the commonality's.
It stopped at some utterly insignificant time and is currently at a jeweler's, so I'm afraid that, for the moment anyway, I can only carry one at a time—not that I would, since my other pocket watch is a monstrously large gold affair that I've never used.
adorable, but nerdy
Isn't that pretty much the Unfogged demographic? Except for the "adorable" part, maybe.
Hm. Well, talking about something being "at the jeweler's" is a bit performance-y in itself, so at least you have that. Like talking about being "on holiday" or about one's tailor. (Of course, this only works if you aren't really someone who would of course have a tailor and have many items-diamonds, for example--that were always at the jeweler's.)
Do you wear a watch chain?
Of course, not being the type to wear a vest or even jacket unless weather demands, I generally wear my watch in my pocket, the chain affixed to a belt loop. Déclassé, I know, but modern times and all that.
96: Oh, that's right--your little problem with context and inference. Sorry about that, Ben.
Watch-chainily:
There's a fellow I see around campus who wears head-to-toe, long-sleeved formal black clothes (which takes stamina in ninety-degree weather). Apparently the same ones daily, or else he has a Ralph Nader-like closet. Army boots, too. Close-cropped hair, long skatery watch chain; not gothy so much as a fusion of military dress with Young Communist severity. I believe he's in the English lit grad program, since I dimly remember him from a class I started and had to drop due to family health stuff. Fantastically affected and nerdy. (Which I mean as the highest praise.) You can see people shy away from him at the bus stop, lest he infect them with weirdness. I'm waiting to see if he can last the whole summer kitted-out like that, or if he'll keel over. I'm hoping he doesn't weaken and show up in shorts, but it's getting awfully hot out.
96 should be 97. My little problem with any kind of accuracy.
Since he's nixed the space pants, Labs needs to buy a pair of these Comfortable and practical!
I knew, or rather admired from a distance, a guy in college who went about always attired in a hat, brown duster, vest, and properly-worn watch; one could occasionally see him in his last year (he was one year ahead) practicing his whip technique on the midway. He also made the most elaborate, well-put-together Halloween costumes known to man; one year he was an Alien Queen and had an armspan of about seven or eight feet.
Then he proposed to the hot hot goth descendent of Robert Herrick with an engagement corset. That he had probably made. I see I've mentioned this fellow before. He was so dreamy...
I have a few pairs of Geoffrey Beene wrinkle-free slacks and one ridiculously comfy pair of Dockers made from a really soft cotton, none requiring ironing or dry-cleaning. They are cheap, they are flat-front (gods yes, flat front, do not buy or wear pleats unless you want everyone to stare at your crotch in something less than appreciation) and they wear well in winter or summer.
Okay, Labs, here ya go:
http://www.bluefly.com/pages/products/detail.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=2046573609&FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2431793&N=1398891&Ns=Popularity%7c0%7c%7cProduct%2bCode%7c1&Nu=Product+ID
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67 -- fantastic. The Owner's Hat.
(gods yes, flat front, do not buy or wear pleats unless you want everyone to stare at your crotch in something less than appreciation)
It doesn't matter if you're wearing a cummerbund, of course.
105: What, you want the slave's hat? C'mon, that's taking PC *way* too far.
102: I dunno, brown dusters have always made me a little uneasy; I'm not sure why. I prefer ridiculous severity of dress which suggests specifically political neurosis, particularly retro political neurosis. People who probably have "A communist is a dead man on vacation" written above their headboards--those people are dreamy.
Also severe retro-ness generally. Not playful retro where people are all pierced and pin-up-heeled, but people who really, truly dress as if they believe they could propel themselves into an alternative continuum. Those people are rather difficult to deal with in actual life, though.
A guy could make a lot of money in the corset-making business if he were really talented. Those things are expensive!
When I was young and in my prime and used to go dancing, I had an inexpensive, merely lingerie corset which I would wear on top of a not-tight grey tee shirt, paired up with olive army pants, combat boots, severely pulled-back hair, and a snarl--sort of a bait and switch outfit, I felt. I looked into getting a real corset, but oh, the prices.
Shake up the stuffy establishment fellows by playing the rough guy.
people who really, truly dress as if they believe they could propel themselves into an alternative continuum. Those people are rather difficult to deal with in actual life
Just a li'l bit, yeah.
The outfit described at the end of 109 sounds great.
I had an inexpensive, merely lingerie corset which I would wear on top of a not-tight grey tee shirt, paired up with olive army pants, combat boots, severely pulled-back hair, and a snarl--sort of a bait and switch outfit, I felt.
Sounds hot.
You should see her alien costume, ben.
112: I used to love getting dressed up to go dancing. I had (still have, transmuted by dye and sewing) a full white silk-satin wedding skirt (custom made for someone who never picked it up; found it on clearance at Filene's in Chicago) which I used to wear with some kind of white shirt so that I would stand out from everyone else (fluoresce, really, in the fancy lighting). All my clothes were hostile, never pretty or sexy but always as crazy as I could get them. It was great.
113/114: Ha! That's what you think. Picture the outfit on a dour-faced, already even then rather pudgy white girl of Swedish descent wearing coke-bottle lenses. The point was (in my youthful neurosis) to say "Oh, you expect me to try to be sexy, right, and you expect to disdain me for failing...so I'll just be ugly and weird right in your face." Now I just pull my hair back severely and wear oddly-shaped clothes in dark colors while staring right through people. Of course, I haven't been dancing in forever...there's nowhere good around here anymore, and I no longer have dancing friends.
113/114: Ha! That's what you think. Picture the outfit on a dour-faced, already even then rather pudgy white girl of Swedish descent wearing coke-bottle lenses. The point was (in my youthful neurosis) to say "Oh, you expect me to try to be sexy, right, and you expect to disdain me for failing...so I'll just be ugly and weird right in your face." Now I just pull my hair back severely and wear oddly-shaped clothes in dark colors while staring right through people. Of course, I haven't been dancing in forever...there's nowhere good around here anymore, and I no longer have dancing friends.
a dour-faced, already even then rather pudgy white girl of Swedish descent wearing coke-bottle lenses
Eh, still sounds pretty kickass to me.
Filene's is awesome. I used to have a green skin-tight skirt slit up to here with a wide black elastic waistband and a matching t-shirt styled top, also skin-tight, that I got there. They were made out of some completely artificial fabric that one could basically wipe clean with a damp cloth and made me look like a techno-mermaid, or something.
You should be preparing now for the look you'll be sporting in twenty years, when you're distinguished, lovable and eccentric (or distinguished, crusty and obnoxious - you don't have to choose yet). Buy a couple of suits and wear them continually for the rest of your career. The more worn and patched they get the better.
Yeah, I used to go to Filene's whenever I was in Chicago to visit my great aunt. It was great--the cashmere shawls, the really weird offscourings of the fancy department stores...nothing like it out here in mid-continent, although before they closed the downtown TJ Maxx I got a really terrific pair of hot pink calfskin opera gloves there.
Techno-mermaid!
Yeah, see, I'm thinking you and I should get all gussied up and go out together sometime.
Well, I do have a few fancy outfits, some hideous and some sublime, that I've been saving against the day when I might possibly wear them. Most probably best for autumn, though...we'd have to time this properly or I would melt. Or the outfits would, depending.
We could go out and show off! That would be great--I do love to show off, and I don't have very many opportunities nowadays.
yeah, filene's is the only brick place i buy from. they have nice stuff occasionally.
125: Yoyo, you're some kind of clotheshorse, aren't you? (So am I, in my fat-chick, thrift-store and Ebay way) Where do you buy your suitings?
haha. yeah, although last time i was there, i found this pretty cool looking long sleeve shirt. henly front, with big metal rivets plus buttons. it actually looks pretty slim, which is hard to find. and it was on the sale rack. really light weight sweater material. i go try it on. Its REALLY tight as i pull in on, and sorta stretched out on my arms and waist. but, it was kinda loose on my chest. thats when it dawned on me, i had picked out the one women's shirt mishung on the men's rack.
Dockers Premium, No Iron pants. Durable. Stay crisp. Look perfectly fine.
um, well since i just graduated, i don't have much in teh way of suits. I have a one i bought at macys a few years ago, one brooks brothers tweed i got at a thrift store, and two ok suits i got at filenes. if i ever am sorta successful i'll probably get most of my suits made by low-end tailors, mostly because the fabrics most suits are from are really boring, and the cut is too frumpy.
oh and i have a few assorted jackets, mostly ones my pops gave me b/c he doesn't fit in them anymore.
i was in brooks brother at the mall the other day (i was actually just out to socialize) and ended up trying on some jackets. the tailor there tried to convince me i was 2 sizes larger than i really am. but she was like 4'6 and really grandmotherly so i didn't really want to argue with her.
I'm actually looking out for suits myself, since I may be trying for a fancier job next winter (funding for my current position is both limited and precarious). But because it will be within-University (I hope...catch me leaving the nerdy, frumpy, eccentric and above all unionized confines of the academe) I'm just going to get a soft knit merino one and maybe a flowy black silk skirted one, both presumably on Ebay. Much easier to buy a soft women's suit than a man's suit, too.
is it really? i remember someone around here, maybe LB? idunno, saying it was much harder. my coworked i had a crush one was saying she was going to buy a suit or two, and they were '100$" and it sorta was like wow.
ebay is the worst thing to happen to my credit, ever.
I've tried more expensive pants. But for casual, yet not sloppy, Docker's pants are the way to go.
On non-court days, I wear them a fair amount in the summer with a nice coat and tie.
Well, buying a tailored woman's suit is probably more difficult than buying a man's suit, since the fit is trickier and there's more to negotiate with changing fashion details. But women do often have the option of wearing loose, flowier suits if they're not high-powered lawyers (like LB, of course) or corporate types. I can, essentially, wear a suit that is made up of sweaters. Or one that's just a bunch of drapey, unlined black silk. The problem with these is that they have to be fairly high-quality to look good, hence Ebay.
Which is a good thing, too, since I'm fattish and muscle-y and built like the world's shortest giantess (big head, wide shoulders, big hands and feet) and structured suits make me look like some kind of socialist-realist sculpture.
you know, putdowns are fun even if they are directed at other people.
structured suits make me look like some kind of socialist-realist sculpture
Thanks for the vivid brain picture. And I'm sorry.
Two words: trouser press. The lazy man's iron.
Frowner - The anti-bacterial properties of wool are the eighth wonder of the world. Especially if you lanolinize the wool first, you rarely have to wash it. I know that sounds horrible, but it's true. Tested this on the infant. This has nothing to do with Labs' problem though.
It doesn't matter if you're wearing a cummerbund, of course.
Quite true. If one at all has any sort of curve around the waist a cummerbund is just an excuse for people to exaggerate said curve in their mind. It is an error for almost anyone to wear one outside the confines of an occasion that requires it and even then, meh. I was a bridesman in a wedding a few years ago in which all the men wore these ridiculously hot - in the sexy sense, not the sense of temperature - tuxedos that were not penguin suits at all and only the groom wore a cummerbund. I would have killed for one of those suits but instead the bride and groom gifted each of the gents with the really amazingly sleek tie each of us wore.
I admit that a part of me really likes ties even though I will actively try to escape from occasions requiring them.
Frowner, I wish you'd gone to UNC. I used to deck out in Faded Goth at the drop of a hat. I weighed a lot more back then and would dress in the most ridiculously aggressive gear I could lay hands on as a sort of shield against normal human interaction.
141: Huh. As tempted as I am to say that I have no interest in normal human interaction, honesty forces me to admit that it was when I was thinner that I dressed to repel. The advantage to being fatter and older is that you're always-already sort of written off, aesthetically, so there isn't as much need to fuss about it.
But it would have been wretchedly hot at UNC, yes? I don't think that even a partner in fear and agressive-premptive-repulsion-of-others would make up for lots and lots of heat and no proper winter. It's much harder to dress to repel when you can't layer. Although I had this combination of a really hideous white button down, cut-off fatigues and these ridiculous thigh-high nurses' orthopedic stockings that I'd wear in the summer. The stockings really didn't want to stay up, though, so the effect was a little schlumpy. Ah, memories, memories!
Maybe I can believe in the anti-bacterial properties of wool. It's that Kierkegaardian leap to faith, I guess.
compare wool and cotton socks after a wearing. the difference is amazing.
compare wool and cotton socks after a wearing
"a wearing". Ew.
honestly, most of those pants are kinda dull and could be half for a third the cost in an average store. they are probably the sort of pants you want though? i remember thinking at the grocers earlier that orange and yellow are good trousers colours because they are bad colours against most people's skin, but trousers let you wear them.
"Pants" as a term of address: opinions?
I never wore anything other than jeans and a shirt or t-shirt for teaching. Admittedly, it's been a year since I taught anything/anyone, but I wasn't feeling the urge to succumb to the dark-side and go 'khaki'.
If I wasn't wearing jeans, I'd be tempted to go the whole hog and wear something cool and retro and tweedy or a nice suit.
I used to go to college with a guy who always wore immaculately tailored 3-piece tweed suits. He combined it with a Salvador Dali moustache and a little Trotsky style goatee. It could have been pretentious, but on a 20 year old working class guy from Glasgow, it really rocked. This was at a the peak of the 'grunge' era, so the whole thing was a statement with a big 'S'.
147: "Hey there, Pants. Take off already."
Like that?
he thinks there are myriad ways for men to dress like uptight honkies
I believe there are at least two modes of dress for uptight honkies in academe. They can wear jacket-and-tie, which is what Labs does. Or they can wear Euro-Emo-wear, with the black shirts and charcoal trousers and so forth.
142: We had winter, certainly... sort of. OK, we once got an inch of snow. A whole inch! I had to open the geology dept. library that day because the real employees were all scared they would die if they tried to make it in.
149, 150: Well, fine.
Men should all wear suits and ride bicycles. Women should all wear suits or dresses, and ride bicycles. Those without bicycles must go naked.
During zag-tag in the dormitory, lo those decades ago, a guy could get pantsed either before or after getting zagged, but could only ever be longhorned if he'd been pantsed first.
All bears must transport themselves via unicycle. Baboons will be clad in only the finest linen. Macaques may wear tweed coats if they like, or corduroy, and may ride along in little side cars, attached to the miniature motorcycles ridden by the baboons.
152: you can split the difference. Light buttondown shirt, dark wool pants, no tie is not a bad look.
159: I want to know what the bears are wearing. (And whether they are the human kind of bear or the bear kind...and if the bear kind, whether grizzly, panda, black or Russian Dancing.) Surely we aren't forcing the bears to unicycle without pants?
There's a certain weight of pant,
On motorist baboons,
That impresses a macaque,
From whose sidecar swoons.
I'm not especially happy with the last line.
Russian Dancing and Grizzly are the same species.
"Inspiring him to swoon"?
"Who breaks out in a swoon"?
"Who goggles like a loon"?
"All beneath the silver moon"?
"In the merry month of June"?
Thanks, Frowner. Do you have any that scan?
165: In boring, pedantic, literal terms, of course...but I like to think that the rough, coarse-furred grizzlies who roam west of the Mississippi (I can hear them circling the stately Frowner abode by night) are of different sort than the mild-mannered, frill-collared bears who dancy with Roma girls to the sounds of a fiddle and an accordion on market days all over the imaginary European past.
Scanning is for sissies.
True enough.
Wrongshore, the slavishly literal parodist I am, I'm in the market for a an anapest and an iamb.
"who from the sidecar swoons"
it's a lovely verse
Thanks, text.
I dream that one day, we'll have enough disturbing, primate-themed adaptations of Dickinson to publish a book.
We've got some down the hoo-hole, haven't we? It could be done.
Because I could not shine for him
some kind of socialist-realist sculpture.
Frowner, meet LB's cousin
Whoa, NickS! Nice work.
177: My feeling is that there's some kind of family-secrets-skeleton-closet-TV-miniseries sort of connection between LB's family and mine. Or perhaps I'm the discarded offshoot of their sinister plot to breed dwarf giants.
Nicely linked, too. What it must be to have such a memory!
I have, on a similar basis, occasionally suspected myself of being your long-lost evil twin -- the one who sold out to work for Big Tobacco.
We aren't Swedish at all, though.
That's why there was clearly some baby-swapping or adultery or something involved. I dibs the movie rights, though!
178,179 -- I found it on my first search with "tractor turnip site:unfogged.com"
if you search for "tractor turnip" in quotes without the site qualifier, the first hit features the phrase "tractor, turnip, buttocks".
95: adorable, but nerdy
"Isn't that pretty much the Unfogged demographic? Except for the "adorable" part, maybe."
Hey, I can be pretty damn adorable--except when I'm being mean and nasty.
The comment thread in 177 is tripping me out. I had no idea there was an Official Town of Unfogged. (Six of us with some connection, by my count.)
187: I too am tripped out by that thread, but for slightly different reasons...as I read today's Unfogged, I ask myself where, where have all the cock jokes gone? I mean, I am stunned.
It was a younger, happier blog back then.
188 -- They have been superceded by Persian jokes.
It was a younger, happier blog back then.
Ouch.
This is why you're supposed to read the archives. Because they're the only thing worth reading anymore.
And where are your cock jokes, Frowner? Ask not what your blog can do for you...
The blog's gone downhill since they let all the new people start posting. I say we bring back Bob.
"Who surrenders poon".
I think that nicely ties together Dickinson-monkey-parody- and cock-joke-deficit-threads. And scans.
where have all the cock jokes gone?
Long time flaccid ...
"I think that nicely ties together Dickinson-monkey-parody- and cock-joke-deficit-threads. And scans. "
That is what your Mother said, Trebeck!
Give us some hints Wrongshore. Maybe a category: "Penis Mightier"?
What Wrongshore's episode was like.
Here is your official pants related story of the day.
The jokes here are endless, but they more or less tell themselves, so there's no need for me to repeat them.
I'm not sure why this hasn't shown up at Apostropher's place yet. He's probably too busy with the new baby.
"Pants related" should be hyphenated.
She tore off his testicle! Through his pants!! With her bare hands!!! And tried to eat it!!!! And none of you care.
I'm frankly amazed that one can apparently do that with one's bare hands.
I'm not. People's ears get torn off in fights, and a testicle is softer tissue than an ear. Through the pants, I admit, is impressive. Poor guy.
She just wasn't thinking. Testicles are too large to swallow without chewing.
The pull quote is priceless: 'I am in no way a violent person.' Mr. Uniball begs to differ.
203: But presumably that's by being hit, not by being tugged. I realize that not everyone has flabby triceps, but even gym rats like Ogged and Labs are probably stronger pushing than pulling.
Wouldn't a pull engage the biceps? I ask not to be a little bitch, but because I've been sitting here imagining tugging off testicles and I'm sure it's my bicep contracting.
I really hate my life.
Like a pullup, it'd be bicep, forearm, lat.
But presumably that's by being hit, not by being tugged.
No way. I've taken a couple pretty good shots there sparring before, and they stayed on. No woman on earth could punch a nut off.
Yeah, that's what I thought. Unless you imagined the yank as a sharp yank downwards, and then you might engage the tricep.
gym rats like Ogged and Labs
I'm more of a pool dolphin. A furry pool dolphin. Labs, however, does enjoy the musk of the weight room.
Look, I refuse to believe that it's possible to rip a man's testicles off without special training or tools.
No, I'm not going to look at your link that provides evidentiary support to the contrary.
212:
Why not? How do you people know this? Have you really pushed the envelope on your testing?!!??!
I much prefer erring on the side of caution on this one. Please assume that a testicle can be ripped off without too much force.
special training
Where is the school where one can receive such training? Who is the teacher/
Fingernails could work wonders. Or do they count as a tool?
Please assume that a testicle can be ripped off without too much force.
amen.
Grab and yank. I bet it'd work fine. Snap your wrist.
Dudes, I'm already careful, but I don't want to get paranoid.
In weightlifting, clean and jerk is related to snatch not testicles.
send jackmormon to Gitmo. She already knows how to treat Iranians.
Grab and yank....Snap your wrist
Don't forget to follow through.
Dudes, I'm already careful
Bad times when squeezed too hard. Worse when the party doing the squeezing interprets your sudden gasp and tensing up as "he's really into this" rather than the correct "OMFG that hurts", and squeezes even harder.
There aren't actually any Iranians at Gitmo, are there? Just as a point of fact.
ahab's just planning for the future.
224:
Not yet, but they are brown so there is always a chance. Oh yes, and every Republican seems to be jonesing for some Iranian blood.
34--since I started teaching on the East Cost, I actually wear a tie and sometimes a jacket. And I do have a couple pairs of relatively nice pants that need to be dry cleaned. But that's the limits of my professional commitment; ironing is just going too far.
The special training imagined in 214 is in Shaolin Kung Fu, specifically the fearsome monkey steals the peach technique.
I just went to the store (the Banana Republic store) and bought a pair of trousers. They are gray linen and they are fantastically comfortable, and they do not require dry cleaning. All to the good. I also wanted to buy a pair of Levis but they are priced at $80! $80 for Levis? I have not bought any in a while but that seems a little steep. I also failed to buy a new pair of sandals from Timberlake, because the only ones available that seemed like my style, were not available in my size.
227 -- Ironing seems to me to involve far less effort and energy than taking a garment to the dry cleaners. This mindset held even when I lived in the city and the dry cleaners was easier to get to than it is currently.
228 -- Thanks, that's what I was looking for.
(Except, I can't look at the image to which you link.)
Oh yeah. (Google is advertising peaches on the sidebar.)
Unless you imagined the yank as a sharp yank downwards, and then you might engage the tricep.
How else would you yank off testicles? By pulling up? Right into the abdominal cavity?
You could yank forward (biceps), or down and away (triceps).
The only reason you'd yank forward using the biceps, is if you were on your knees. If you're standing, even a forward yank is gonna require you to pull your arm back.
I don't think that's really a tricep move, but I'm pretty sure it's not a bicep move either.
I assumed we were on our knees.
The bicep/tricep thing is simple -- biceps bend your elbow, triceps straighten it out. So if you start with a straight arm (say, your arm is extended fully as you grip the testicle) and you bend it as you pull, you'd use your biceps. On the other hand, if you start with a bent arm and straighten it as you pull (like, yanking straight down) that would be triceps.
The bicep pull, with most of the power coming from the lats (which, rather than bending or straightening the elbow, move the upper arm down and back), seems likeliest to me.
238: Don't tell me how to love!
Hey, whatever, you wanna wear out your joints yanking off guys' balls, knock yourself out. Feminism's all about choices.
I'm kidding. It's really not a good position to do much from unless he's lying down.
"yanking off" s/p/b "yanking guy's balls off," huh?
How else would you yank off testicles? By pulling up? Right into the abdominal cavity?
So let me start out by saying that I was very bored last night. But as I was imagining this, it was a sharp yank upward, with your arm starting extended, grabbing from underneath, and the rest of it more or less like you would do if you were trying to win at arm wrestling: contract the bicep, pulling towards yourself you can back up your biceps with your other muscles.
So not so much up as away from the man.
246: Well, someone has to have the title, and you've been handed it. Bond and the other Double-Ohs still need gadgets.
hm. System difficulties.
I commented a few minutes ago that 245 is yet more genius in the recent linking to past threads.
Not showing up, that comment.
I went shopping today and did not find a single thing i liked. I did see some pretty nice lavendar trousers, but too big.
im pretty sure i would totally get those, do you have a link?
230--but since the dry-cleanable pants are for special occasions, and the dry cleaner is across the street, I win!
I find that pulling my balls is painful whether the bicep or tricep is involved.
253: unfortunately, they sold in January 2006. Also, they belonged to Bob Hope. Also, they sold for $1800. Sorry.
HEY i found some really expensive zippered pants, by accident!!!!!
http://cgi.ebay.com/JOHN-GALLIANO-ULTRA-RARE-COTTON-HIGHLIGHT-PANTS-SS2007_W0QQitemZ120130522711QQihZ002QQcategoryZ57989QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem
I fail to see what makes those pants worth over a thousand dollars.
