Bruce Wayne is kind of messed up in the head, isn't he?
By the way, you can feel free to use a colon, and not a period, to introduce block quotations such as the ones in the post.
Finally, you might enjoy Meg Baird's album Dear Companion.
Possibly Tom Brady has a small penis and Bridget is eyeing Fontana Labs.
Of course, the answer is:
"For every hot girl, there's a guy tired of f-ing her."
Just because she is hot doesn't mean that she isnt a pain in the ass.
Plus, she probably doesn't hide from him the fact that she poops.
Is the genius of "a golden beam of God's love" besmirched by the stupidity of that which follows, namely "or a box full of diamonds"? An ontological question.
Bruce Wayne would be just terrible in the sack. Other than the face-kicking and the billions of dollars and the deadliest-man-alive things, I have no idea what Selina Kyle and Talia al-Ghul see in him.
yes. because tom brady is a good-looking person who is also ridiculously good at playing football, that of course means that he is obviously the most qualified person for a relationship.
Tom Brady's success if a function of the system in which he plays. I'd rather nail Brees.
that of course means that he is obviously the most qualified person for a relationship.
I find your talk of "qualifications" for a relationship hopelessly reductive and simpleminded. Has the HRification of our private lives really advanced so far?
I'd rather nail Brees.
Ask him, ask him, ask him!
Because, if it's not love, then it's the bomb that will bring you together.
I find your talk of "qualifications" for a relationship hopelessly reductive and simpleminded.
Not to mention treating "a relationship" as fungible, though perhaps that's implied by your point.
The other thing is that I completely disagree with WWTDD: both Moneghan and Warren made the right call. Why would Moneghan want to marry/date someone who was committed to screwing around on her, esp. at a time when a child is expected? And why would Warren want to stop screwing around?
I have no idea what Selina Kyle and Talia al-Ghul see in him.
It's the car. Chicks dig the car.
Don't underrate the "poor messed up child inside a hulking man's body" thing. That's a role that works well, too. Or so movies have led me to believe.
And why would Warren want to stop screwing around?
Security!
Security!
Increasing female empowerment has resulted in a sufficient number of rich women to provide the same level of security for Warren.
And why would Warren want to stop screwing around?
Yeah, there are plenty of other golden beams of God's love in the sea.
I gotta say, Tom Brady looks like a real asshole. Don't know what his football skills are like.
It's the car. Chicks dig the car.
Really? Because you know what they say about middle-aged guys who drive ten-foot-long heavily armored mobile crime-fighting labs.
Yeah, there are plenty of other golden beams of God's love in the sea.
Just because the guy dated Jessica Alba doesn't mean he has an asian fetish, geez.
The one with the goat is kind of scary.
22: She's not Asian, she's a Lur.
19: See #5. Or even better, recall the greatest Old Man at the Pool conversation of all time. (I see it as further support for my belief that you shouldn't trust anyone under seventy.)
Because I am from Pittsburgh, I hate Tom Brady with a deep burning passion. I would sooner date anyone on any NFL team, with the possible exception of the Ravens, than him.
24: Then it's an even worse reason.
(for some reason I thought she was half-n-half, but I didn't bother looking into it)
What about someone from outside the NFL, or even outside the game of football?
for some reason I thought she was half-n-half, but I didn't bother looking into it
#21. That they're a few cards short of a Magic: the Gathering set? (Cf. #15)
My hatred for Brady makes me rash; not Vick. But, to jump fields, Bonds is way preferable to Brady.
Is that a pro-Pirates bias? And Bonds or Bonilla?
Bruce Wayne would be just terrible in the sack.
Yeah - I hear his whole shtick is gadgets. He brings his whole utility belt to bed with him...
I am burdened (and it is a burden) with a pro-Pirates bias, but contextually, I was thinking of a controversy-mired athlete, with Vick out of the mix, whom I would rather screw than Brady. Bonilla was adorable in that Bonds/Bonilla pgh era, but if I were really going with that team, it would have to be Jay Bell.
30: I am earnestly sorry if I offended you or anyone else. I was just thinking that I might have done so earlier, even though my friends typically use "halfie" when describing our compadres of mixed races. Is there a generally accepted term that's less clinical feeling than "bi-racial", "multiracial" or "mixed race"?
36: Mestizos, mulattoes, zambos, terceroones, quadroons, cholos, musties, fusties, and dusties are all acceptable.
Octoroon and quintroon, on the other hand, are dispreferred.
I assumed "Po-Mo" was an abbreviation for "Polynesian-Moroccan" and that you happened to be informed that she too was a Po-Mo.
Old Po-Mo Alba, I inferred.
I am offended by earnestness about all things.
The idea that NFL quarterbacks get to date supermodels just shows you how unjust the world is. Individual NFL players contribute about as much to their team's success as the individual wooden figurines in foosball do. Supermodels should only date star basketball players, people who for whom the concept of team is so foreign that they are frequently surprised to find other players on the court wearing the same color jersey. (Or supermodels could just date football coaches, but no one wants to see that.)
Individual NFL players contribute about as much to their team's success as the individual wooden figurines in foosball do
Except for quarterbacks.
You think that supermodels don't know the meaning of TeamWork? If the football player is like a single foosball pawn, then the supermodel is like a lone girl in a purple bag. Without the rest of her sisters, you can't have a bunch of grapes.
the matter of individual contributions to a team's "success" can be understood as both on-field success or successfulness of the franchise as a consumer product. Pre-dog scandal, VIck certainly individually contributed to the Falcons' success as a marketable franchise. It's really only individual players that contribute to this kind of success, save when the franchise in question is one of those with an unwavering base (e.g. Steelers, Bears, Packers).
And yes, quarterbacks absolutely contribute, individually, to both success and failures on field. Which Bears fans can certainly expound upon.
It's the little kid that you need to apologize to, Po-Mo.
No more masturbating to Bill Walsh.
Ha! That's a bit misleading. It turns out he's not dead.
38- Quintroons? Doesn't the denominator in race have to be a power of 2? Threesomes don't result in offspring that are a third of each participant.
43 - I'm a firm believe in meritocracy. Supermodels should be assigned in order of individual greatness in personal field of endevour. (For example, assigning Bridget Moynihan to Alexandre Grothedieck would be an acceptable outcome.) Anything else smacks of collectivism, which inevitably leads to communist subversion.
44 - To be fair, I did say NFL quarterbacks.
I assumed "Po-Mo" was an abbreviation for "Polynesian-Moroccan" and that you happened to be informed that she too was a Po-Mo.
Actually, we're both Portuguese-Mauritian (no one knew how to pronounce Po-Mau). The real tragedy of it all is that my parents insist on my dating another Po-Mo, and Jessica stopped returning my calls after I told her I didn't want to marry on account of being below the legal age.
47 demonstrates that pedantry can, in fact, be an art form.
I have a friend whose dad is from Poland and mother from Madagascar. We call her Pomade.
48: I think you're overrating Moynahan, and I have a huge crush on her. For one thing, she's roughly my age. (Although, I guess your guy's well past his prime as well.) For another--not a great actress. It pains me to say that, but it's true.
51: Just not in the case you cite.
A friend at Berkeley as an undergrad dated the president of the Native American student group, whose favorite joke was talking about deconstruction as a tribal practice of the Pomo Indians.
49: Oh sweet jeebus. I missed the headline somehow. So: Bill Walsh, Still Dead.
get to date supermodels
In my limited experience, women attractive enough to turn strangers' heads are as ugly inside as wealthy men who do not believe in luck. "getting to" spend time with either shows one has high status but is unpleasant.
Man, living at home is such a drag.
Now my mom threw away my best Pomo mag. (Busted!)
No one said meritocracy was pleasant, lw. Only that it was fair.
57: So, being an attractive woman makes you inherently loathsome, but being a wealthy man is okay if you believe in luck. Chicks don't get the escape clause?
I'm trying to figure out if Bill Walsh dead is less erotic than Bill Walsh alive, and I'm not having much luck.
I wish 55 came with a link to SP's blog.
It's not enough of a joke to stand up to explanation -- just that it would be funny if 'Pomo', as in the actual name of an actual Native American tribe, instead stood for 'Postmodern', and there was a Native American tribe characterized by specializing in scholarship relying on deconstruction and capital-T Theory.
Oh, don't be so hard on yourself, you little rascal. It is too a funny joke.
Now my mom threw away my best Pomo mag. (Busted!)
The pictorial of Foucault in a studded leather thong was a bit over the line.
I wish 62 came with a link to SB's blog.
women attractive enough to turn strangers' heads are as ugly inside as wealthy men who do not believe in luck.
Attractive enough to turn strangers heads is not a very high bar. I agree that anything that brings one endless adulation can have a corrupting influence, but really.
Heebie! Heeby! Heebé! has done it again!
66: You want to know why I don't like initialisms as pseuds? Because I can't read terribly well.
Thanks for 63. I've seen both SP and SB used, not interchangeably, but to refer to the same ...entity.
Heebie! Heeby! Heebé! has done it again!
I'll never say no to a Tony Toni Tone reference, but what did I do?
To be fair to Batman, both Catwoman and Talia al-Ghul are depicted in the comics as coming back for more of the Dark Knight's sweet, sweet, moodily obsessive and brooding loving. He fathered a son with Talia and, on a parallel earth, a daughter with Catwoman.
And let us not forget Silver St. Cloud, who wanted to give up her career as a movie star to settle down in stately Wayne Manor.
attractive woman, escape clause
Fabulously detailed personal appearance that turns heads can be cultivated just as much as cockiness;
generosity towards other people, or failing that, some humility is what is often absent. Both Larry Ellison and, say, Paris H, taking both to be as shallow as they publicly represent themsleves to be, take an indiscreet interest in how well they are doing with respect to the other people in the room. One can hope that both will eventually be content even when no-one is paying attention. Larry is at least old enough to know better, so the odds of redemption for him are lower. I've always been interested in Prince, who seems or seemed very comfortable with the persona of male narcissist.
I've seen both SP and SB used, not interchangeably, but to refer to the same ...entity.
No you haven't.
people with unpleasant personalities are more interesting, if you are a really relaxed person.
76: It was the Pomo Mag joke, wasn't it. I was very proud of that one. But I was ripping on the Beastie Boys.
Tony Toni Tone is best known for timesless classics like If I had no loot. (Comin atcha SWING batta batta!)
73.1 expresses well the appeal of BW, according to my daughter who is a huge fan.
She'd reply herself once I directed her to the thread, but she's deep in the woods and only occasionally able to find a connection.
people with unpleasant personalities are more interesting, if you are a really relaxed person.
I don't love unpleasant personalities, but I truly love reckless personalities.
i guess i'm just extending teh "crazy people = champion fuckers" trope
It was really more that I for some reason just thought of rendering your pseud that way but was just about to leave the computer for an extended period and wanted to get it out there before I forgot it. But now I feel I employed before its time. Damn.
Not that you shouldn't be proud of your Pomo Mag / Beastie Boys joke.
i think your 'reckless' is closer to what i was getting at though.
Certain types of unpleasant are a lot of fun: a sour temper coupled with a sharp wit, for example. But I don't suppose that's the type of unpleasant you get from supermodels or really rich men.
Certain types of behaviour only register as "unpleasant" if you're on the receiving end, but register as amusing personality quirks ("oh, that's just the way he/she is") otherwise.
I didn't add "to come home to" or "in a soulmate"...but there are certain kinds of bad-tempered people I tend to like a lot. If they're smart and funny and if they actually like you, and if you can be bad-tempered and unpleasant back...well, it's pretty amusing.
But all the really good-looking people I've known have been almost excessively clement.
(One of my advisors at college was almost cartoonishly crabby and weird; it was a tiny victory for me to make him like me, and it was also refreshing to be around someone who really, truly wasn't hung up about What Other People Think.)
Crabby, weird people do sometimes exert that "what would it take to befriend them" fascination. I had a prof at University who was like this.
Definitely--it's fun to figure them out. That's why one wants the smart ones--lots of layers, lots of little interpersonal challenges. Gives you something to think about that's almost like dating but not as fraught.
I concur; there's a real attraction to being one of the few people a truly crabby, smart, sarcastic person will tolerate.
And there are also a lot of people who fit the 'crunchy on the outside, sweet and chewy on the inside' pattern -- crabby and forbidding to strangers, but not that hard to elicit warmth from. Heck, people have described me that way.
Heck, people have described me that way.
"Sweet and chewy on the inside"? Careful, the people describing you this way may be zombies.
94: zombies don't discriminate ... everyone is sweet and chewy on the inside to them.
I've been described as crabby and forbidding. That's halfway there.
there's a real attraction to being one of the few people a truly crabby, smart, sarcastic person will tolerate
Then congratulations to you all on being in my presence.
95: Ah, you're right. That's one of their endearing qualities, though slightly unpleasant.
So, to take up a theme from the baby-and-cellphone thread, does this mean that if I douse myself in iodine the zombies won't eat me?
Maybe the answer is to become a zombie yourself.
98: But I've noticed that zombies are rather short on the witty repartee that compensates for the unpleasantness. Vampires are witty in a tiresome way; werewolves just howl; Frankenstein's monster is probably your best bet, being fairly observant although rather self-pitying.
I don't hold out much hope for the iodine method, unfortunately. Probably only slightly more effective than soy sauce.
Zombies are the strong, shambling, silent type, it's true. Good for fishing and hunting trips, though, as long as you can get them to hunt something other than you. Frankenstein's monster is observant, bitchy and bitter... which, hey, that would actually make him the perfect choice.
But I've noticed that zombies are rather short on the witty repartee that compensates for the unpleasantness. Vampires are witty in a tiresome way; werewolves just howl; Frankenstein's monster is probably your best bet...
Time to re-visit this subject? Frowner, I don't think you were around for that thread, and I'd be interested in what you make of it.
Don't flatter yourselves that I'm "tolerating" you. You're just a small part of my grand plan.
I'd like to inform any zombies reading this that John Emerson is said to be particularly sweet and chewy.
You are all a grand part in my small plan.
Everyone's already seen this, right?
Frankenstein's monster is probably your best bet...
Funny thing is that I misread this as Frankenstein's mother.
Which, you know, wouldn't make much sense, but this is Unfogged.
The first time I saw an online thing like that linked in 106, I'd gone into work super-early (pre-dawn) to get some work done. All alone in the office. Damn near did scare the crap out of me.
haha.
Does anyone remember po/rnfreak?
that was the best link to serruptitiously misleadingly link your firneds to ever.
Vampires drain you; Werewolves are camp;
Zombies debrain you; Pirahnas are damp;
Ghouls prefer corpses; CHUDs fail to thrive;
Specters are flimsy; You might just survive.
109: Not while this is still around. Hauntingly bizarre.
I know facts don't really have a place on Unfogged, but Jessica Alba is half Mexican/half Danish. She was also born in Pomona, part of the greater LA area, which ties in nicely with the various nonsense regarding Pomo above.
