I took him to be describing a lack of opportunity, so he'll make it all the way through. (I think think they're actually sort of strict about that at rehab clinics.) And he might make it even if technically feasible. Sometimes, when you break one routine, it's easier to break others.
48 hours. 5 bucks, collectible at meetups.
Could someone discreetly clue me in? Dick Cheney?
OK, got it. I skipped the end of the post.
I think think they're actually sort of strict about that at rehab clinics.
But as we've seen before on this very site, it doesn't always work.
Their stricter when you are recovering from
*really* ugly addictions like the ones Ogged has.
What #4 said. I think this might be him, performing an interpretive dance.
Sorry, folks, he's happier if I keep him busy on these infrequent visits, iykwim. Aittyd.
Ogged is one of the Da'wa party bigwigs who has remained in exile after the US invasion. He's in Nasiriyah advising them on how to get the US back on the majoritarian wagon.
Ogged got subpoenaed in the Michael Vick case.
Ogged was displaced by a midwestern flood.
9: I just had a terrible mental image of an amorous encounter between B. and ogged. They were in a passionate embrace with one of them shouting "Yes! Yes!" and the other retorting "No! No!" Yeesh. Thanks a lot, B.
11: I checked the rosters of the San Francisco 49ers and Oakland Raiders and they don't seem to contain any Persians. Top suspect Nnamdi Asomugha turns out to be of Igbo descent.
It's a weekend in August; I'm guessing this is a destination wedding and there will be no reliable Internet access.
Bonus question: Why do people in this hemisphere choose to get married in August?
14: But do they have any Lur?
13: That's exactly what it's like! Hott.
15: I got married in August, dammit. I think it had something to do with available weekends for various guests and/or the officiant. And yes, it was beastly hot.
I was a bridesmaid at an August wedding once. Dresses custom made from upholstery fabric. Brilliant.
We had gorgeous weather for our wedding but two days before it was over ninety degrees in July. I think July and August wedding usually happen because the couple wants something summery and June is booked and more expensive.
Though we picked July largely to work around my teaching schedule, and as I joke, to avoid the rain occasion by the Three Rivers Arts Festival in June.
Our June wedding was ferociously hot.
I apparently do not believe in plurals or conjugating my verbs these days.
In my defense, 18, I told my bridesmaid to pick out whatever kind of dress she wanted to wear. (Which honestly I think all brides should do, but that's a separate issue.)
21: It's getting married. Pretty soon you'll start deferring to Shivbunny about any matter requiring any intellect whatsoever.
21: Awwww, fuck. That explains it; he can't type for crap.
22: Oh god, I tried that and got blank stares from my bridesmaids. But you're... the bride! You are supposed to order us to wear dresses and you are not supposed to ask our input! It was really very bizarre. So I picked something they all looked good in. (Things that make it easier: have all your bridesmaids be related.)
My wife did the same, also only one attendant each.
21 s/b "I apparently to do not to believe in plural or to conjugate my verb this day."
Things that make it easier: have all your bridesmaids be related.)
And pretty. From the pictures, your sisters would have looked great in burlap sacks.
25.2: Oh jeez, yeah. If people will insist on believing in weird conventions, you kinda have no choice but to go along with it. At least if they're friends and relatives.
As long as the burlap sack didn't have an empire waist, yup.
For empire waist-related difficulties, contact this organization.
How do you pronounce "empire waist," Cala? My wife & I were at a Halloween party where one woman talked to us about her AHMpeer-waisted dress, and that became the joke of the night.
Even if it's correct, being correct in Starkville, Miss. is not always the correct thing to do.
Would we be so likely to insist that be pronounced omm-peer if it described a male or gender-neutral artifact?
Ahm-peer is right. If that's too snooty for you, say 'high waisted'. EM-pyre is just wrong.
X'ed with 234, but obviously a similar reaction.
34 is snooty. How are people supposed to know that?
On the other hand I guess I would just wait for the saleslady to say the word first, if I was in some sort of empire waist-related situation.
Bleah, I say "ehm-pyre." That's how that word is pronounced in English.
Eh. I've never heard M-pyre in the fashion context, but I've been surrounded by snotty NYers all my life.
Not just snooty, super snooty. I can guarantee you that when an English word enters French the French do not try to pronounce it according to English phonetics. "Robot" has a silent T. "Television" has an accent on the last syllable, which is nasal. Let's stop trying to make our language all things to all people.
That's how that word is pronounced in English.
B: so down with the gente that she's no longer down with the gente.
B makes no claims to being down with the gens.
THIS IS THE GUESS WHERE OGGED IS THREAD
NOT THE ESOTERIC PRONOUNCING THREAD
OPEN THREADS ARE BAD
A woman I used to work with in Kansas said the florist for her wedding was going over colors with her. My friend pointed to a picture and said, "I like this. It's very pretty," and the florist replied, "Ah, yes. LahvahnDAY. Everyone's getting LahvahnDAY this year."
I thought there were only open threads.
39: That's because the French are such chauvinists about their language.
This place doesn't have open threads. Just a bunch of loose threads that threaten to unravel.
My sense is Americans have been more inclined to try to approximate French pronunciations than the English have, and that it goes back a long time.
39: But Americans do, in contrast with the British, retain vestiges of French pronunciation on lots of words. Dancers perform in the bal-AY, not the BAL-et. As a reference to a French historical period, the Frenchish pronunciation makes sense.
My wife tried to get the bridesmaids to design a dress as a committee, which worked out about as well as you would expect. One of the women in the wedding party took the out of becoming a groomsperson and wearing a tux she already owned. That's probably your safest move.
I got a little possessive about friends, though, and insisted that one of the bridesmaids stand on my side, since she was really my friend because I met her first. We balanced things out by having my wife's brother stand on her side.
Are we having another wedding thread?
How would Elizabeth Bennett and her sisters have described the style of their dresses? They were at war with that country.
Do Americans refer to historical French empires as ahmpeers?
Are we having another wedding thread?
NO
UNLESS WE RECEIVE CONFIRMATION THAT OGGED IS AT A WEDDING
I THINK HE IS NEGOTIATING WITH SALON ABOUT SELLING UNFOGGED TO THEM
Heh. Buck tried to have the mutual friend who introduced us as his Best Woman, but my mother vetoed it on the somewhat humiliating grounds that she's prettier than I am. (Roughly.)
We need to deconstruct the notion of the open thread.
To me, every thread is open.
I'm being boycotted at Crooked Timber. I can kill a thread there single-handed.
Unfogged posts are always already open threads.
I say 'ahmpeer' because the first time I heard it pronounced was as 'ahmpeer' and I did not wish to appear a rube from Smallville. Usually I'd agree with Ned but it's a word one only encounters in fashion contexts, so it's a specialized lingo, much like the terms in ballet. Calling something the British ahmpeer, stilted. Using it to talk about the waistline, not.
We don't call the color of the gowns they wore perrydott either, much to the consternation of my maid of honor.
#53: "Short-bodied" (which meant "high-waisted").
There is no open thread. There are nothing but open threads. The "open thread" names the condition of (im)possibility of the self-undermining notion of a "comment thread."
John is the buffalo hunter of thread killers. Identifies the matriarch, kills her with one shot from his Henry rifle after stalking for days, then calmly slaughters the rest as they stand around her collapsed body.
56: Your own mother said that?!
Mostly I thought the whole girls on the right boys on the left setup for the wedding party seemed very grade school. The more we could mix it up the better.
IA, we really don't want the facts around here.
I'd describe them as 'why is the waistline nipple high' and 'do most women realize this is not flattering unless they are already perfectly shaped, in which case, cf. LB on the burlap sack.'
The wording was more along the lines of 'Everyone will be looking at her, not at you.' Which, from the point of view of the purely recreational viewer would have been likely, but I figured that the big fluffy white dress would hold people's attention at least for the length of the ceremony. Mom: not so much with the tact.
65 sounds right. At my two cousin's weddings both the bridesmaids and groomsmans were drawn equally from the bride and groom's acquaintances. And yet it was boys on the right girls on the left.
Some empire waists can be very flattering, even on a less-than-perfect figure, but the skirt can't be too full or it makes one look pregnant.
It can be supposed that the popularity of empire waists in certain eras may have had something to do with hiding secret pregnancies.
68: Yikes. My dad's mom told my mom, on the wedding day, that it wasn't too late to get back together with her handsome football-playing ex, as my dad was not cute and wouldn't amount to anything.
68: I've read that a bride who is not properly ogled on her wedding day will give birth to monsters. In many cultures professional oglers are hired -- the more oglers, the more prestigious the marriage.
The skinniest day I ever lived, which was pretty darn skinny, I looked pregnant in an Empire waist. Something about the way they hit me makes it absolutely clear that there's a six-month waistline under all that fabric.
72: You've met Sally and Newt? Lovable, but monsters.
22: And in fairness back, I would not have been much happier with upholstery fabric in February than in August. Also not a good fabric for a strapless design.
My bff actually selected different dresses for each bridesmaid based on what she thought would be most flattering on their individual bodies. She made remarkably good choices. And got married on a mild May day, to boot.
Back on the Georgian veldt, pregnancy was hott, and women faked it to attract mates (and also, antelopes).
But this is a recurring fantasy, often portrayed positively: It Happened One Night; The Graduate
I've been thinking about wearing some sort of abnormal tuxedo on the wedding day so that my fiancee won't have quite so much pressure of being the center of attention all the time and being the only one whose judgment and comportment are constantly being monitored. Some of the commentary (internal and otherwise) will be about me rather than her.
76: I'd have done well on the Georgian veldt. I am built to look perpetually 5 months pregnant. Slender arms, slender legs, nice, round plump tummy.
71: Exactly.
I was to be an attendant for my best high school friend, but his bride balked on the grounds that I'd known him longer and he had once had a crush on me.
Our attendants were split by gender, but the third groomsman was the aforementioned best friend of me, and really, I was maxed out on attendants with the sisters.
78: But it will reflect on her if she can't dress you properly.
74: For me to regret the absence of proper oglers at your wedding would be tantamount to murdering your lovely children in cold blood. So I will only say how happy I am that the oglers failed you and monsters were born.
I can match a pregnant tummy up until about the fifth month. A nice, firm, non flabby potbelly.
I don't want to read all of the above comments, but I do want to know how a thread about ogged's coke habit, and the Less Than Zero whoring it requires of him, turned into a discussion of Empire waists. (Also, what are Empire waists? But I'm willing to google that.)
You know what's great about ogged being gone? We can talk about girly stuff for a change.
So: Admittedly, the empire silhouette is not universally flattering, but can we talk about the basque waist for a moment or two? This is a favourite for bridesmaid's dresses; and it's my suspicion that it is quite deliberately intended to flatter the bride by not flattering her bridal attendants.
I look good in a basque waist, but I have a low waist.
Which one's the basque waist? I thought it was something like the waist on my gown but I'm really not sure.
One thing that came out of me picking the bridesmaids' dresses: my very conservative sister who has for years failed to recognize how gorgeous she is, discovered that she looks amazing in strapless gowns. Had she her choice it would have been a boatneck or something.
Google is my friend: basque waists seem much nicer and more normal then Empire ones, which seem very, very weird.
I don't know what a basque waist it -- I googled images, and they just look like dresses with full skirts and tight bodices.
Google isn't my friend because I can't figure what's the difference between a basque wasit and a regular bodice thingy.
You know what's great about ogged being gone? We can talk about girly stuff for a change.
More like "We can monopolize every single thread with girly stuff instead of most of them."
This turned into a discussion of douche and tampon anecdotes.
This was a girly thread from start to finish.
This quickly went into women's fashion rather than men's fashion.
And that was before Ogged left!
Oh the humanity!
LB. I pwn you, not the other way around.
I think it just means a very low waist with a V in the front, pointing crotchward. Usually the skirt around it is full and light, or heavy and draping. It's very late-16th-century, I think.
This is preposterous. Ogged is unable or unwilling to stand athwart outbreaks of girliness on an almost daily basis.
There are plenty of dick-swinging threads, Ned.
89: Wikipedia has an entry. They look like normal dresses to me. IA is probably feeling a little out of sorts, what with ogged away.
I think it just means a very low waist with a V in the front,
Oh, those. My mother's verdict, when coupled with a low neckline: "What it don't show, it points to."
Basque waists, like empire waists, look fucking dreadful on me. I like sheathes and columns and drapery.
Oh, mine wasn't basque then. It was low, but no V.
A-line-A-line-A-line.
"What it don't show, it points to."
Since everybody's waiting for some guy to say "You say that like it's a bad thing," I thought I would just get it over with.
Now you're going to tell us that "Basque Waist" is pronounced "bahs-QUAY AARD-vark," or something. Admit it.
man, you want to mess with your head:
go over to sully's site, and watch the video of obama debating alan keyes.
obama--no surprises: cool, admirable, reasonable.
keyes--it's just too weird: the guy is *so close* to being rational, and even admirably intellectual.
and yet he's a nut-job.
he speaks in beautiful coherent sentences. his positions are in some sense well thought-out (except for the absurd consequences). he has 9 out of the 10 leading intellectual virtues. and that's really a scary indictment of the intellectual virtues.
they both talk far more like professors than politicians.
either one of them could be among my academic colleagues.
keyes would have got tenure first.
The Brits in the Shorter OED refuse to give AWMpeer the time of day; the traitorous American Heritage lists it first; and the miscegenated Oxford American leads with "EMpyre" but allows as one might also pronounce it as if one were a regular character on a Bravo series.
Now that I think about it, Halloween Girl did say "AWMpeer" even tho it would be "awmPEER" to American ears. So she was wrong, EITHER FUCKING WAY. I rejoice in my superiority as usual.
Speaking of wedding attendants, what does a bride do if her closest friends are males and she has no sisters? Assuming one's fiancee has the usual complement of male friends, and therefore cannot take on the extra groomsmen... This is a purely hypothetical question, as although all of my close friends are male, I have no grooms on the horizon, whether or not they have male friends.
(A) Go small, no attendants; (B) if you need the attendants because the kind of wedding you want to have requires them, go for more distant friends, cousins, coworkers, and so forth, and don't worry about how personally close you are to them. I'd do A rather than B (well, I did A, just my sister as a maid of honor, despite having female friends who could have bridesmaided) but there's nothing wrong with B.
what does a bride do if her closest friends are males and she has no sisters?
Who said anything about closest friends? Cousins, neighbours, random strangers.... Actually, you could probably rent a couple of bridesmaids, or even an entire entourage. With a cleverly worded ad carefully placed on Craigslist, you might even find some people who were willing to do it for free. Or you could do that gender-bending thing, and have bridesmen, but then you'd have to ask yourself: Is it worth antagonizing my mother like that?
(I went the "traditional" [as in, "traditional" as invented by the post-World War II wedding industry] route, with three sisters and one female friend. The whole thing made me feel so awkward and uncomfortable that I kind of wished we had eloped to Gretna Green).
FOR SOME REASON OPINIONATED GRANDMA ALWAYS SOUNDS LIKE CALVIN TO ME.
IT MAKES WHAT SHE SAYS FUNNIER.
Goth band name: The Vampire Wastes
I had two female attendants and four male attendants: sister, ex-girlfriend, oldest friend, high school friend, dirst college friend, second college friend.
My sister and my high school ex wore hot tux approximations. My sister was pissed off about not getting to be my best man, but my best friend did an outstanding job of it.
My bride was pissed off that she had to come up with six friends to put in her party. But she made it through.
My bride was pissed off that she had to come up with six friends to put in her party. But she made it through.
Unlike the marriage, IIRC.
Correct! For bonus points, describe my officiant in one four-letter word.
I think the elusive Roamsedge got it right.
125: Well, Wrongshore mentioned the archives.
Yay Roamsedge. All the bonus points are yours. The bonus bonus points go to Cryptic Ned.
114 is more right than 126. 124 and 122 are not wrong, if memory serves.
The bonus bonus points are awarded for 125, not, sadly, 123.
You would have preferred to be married by a nude pimp?
I am imagining large-scale Mineshaft trivia games about random comments people have made here.
Separate points would be awarded for scores achieved without Googling and with.
And bonus points for anyone who was able to extract useful information out of MSN Search?
I propose a game in which we all describe our mental pictures of one another. People who have seen each other's photos can enter with a qualifier, but people who have met cannot play.
Points are not awarded on verisimilitude but on persuasiveness to others who have not met the commenter described. (It's like pragmatism.) Bonus points if you can change the mind of someone who has met that commenter.
Not now, though.
135: I imagine all of you as jaw-droppingly hott until further notice.
135:I have recently been described in a comment. Pink with green hair and a gem in the belly-button, IIRC. Amazingly accurate.
I think AWB wins
Really? I didn't think she described me well at all.
Well, her description of me was dead on.
I am imagining large-scale Mineshaft trivia games
AKA "a blog called 'Unfogged'."
Yer all waisted, as Roger Daltrey would say.
Backing way up the thread: in buying a shirt the other day, I told the salesdude that I was looking for a short sleeved button-down to wear with a suit. "We do not sell short sleeved shirts to wear with suits," he said, somewhat archly, "it is a matter of etikwette."
Talk about making a fella feel comfortable!
136: you must have cheated and looked at the pictures of me, BG, and arthegall in the flickr group.
We do not sell short sleeved shirts to wear with suits
Oh. Is it going to be a problem that I'm not wearing underwear?
Is it going to be a problem that I'm not wearing underwear?
It's okay as long as you wear a pleated garter belt.
But they make me look fat, slol.
How about nothing? Does nothing go with a suit jacket?
I propose a game in which we all describe our mental pictures of one another.
Wrongshore looks like Sean Connery with a scraggly beard.
143: Arthegall looks nothing as I expected! Not that I really had any mental picture to begin with. I do find the name "arthegall" fetchingly melodic.
150: Q: what is the sound of two balls flapping?
A: corporate casual!
in buying a shirt the other day, I told the salesdude that I was looking for a short sleeved button-down to wear with a suit.
Your first mistake was to call him a "salesdude." Better to have referred to him as a "gent." Your second mistake has already been brought to your attention by said gent.
will looks like an aquatic, wry Jeff Daniels
And yet, I can correctly pronounce the word "etiquette," and I don't work in menswear.
Advantage: me!
154: aquatic?!? Like The Incredible Mr. Limpet meets The Big Lebowski?
Incredible Mr. Limpet meets Dumb and Dumber.
153: E-mail ogged (probably not a great choice right now) or Armsmasher to begin the hazing ritual that gains you entrée.
149: you know, the more I think about it, the stranger I find it that I apparently did look like you expected.
Aquatic. Like the rabbit that killed our 39th president.
159:
the stranger I find it
Why? I have seen a picture of the back of your head before, you know.
Well, I suppose that's true.
(retreats, confused)
160: can't blame the rabbit. He was history's greatest monster, after all.
In other news, I just tried and failed to download a copy of "Jimmy Carter Says Yes," possibly the funkiest song ever written about a sitting president.
Dude, it was a picture you linked to in some thread or other in connection with whether you were actually blond; you were in a room with a bunch of black-clad gentlemen, and it gave a fair impression of you, though not of your face, obviously.
OT: If one could, in barely visible glow-in-the-dark ink, write something pranksterish on the back of one's roommate's bike helmet, what might one write? Uh, hypothetically, of course.
Yeah, I know the picture in question. It was, in fact, the back of my head, and it was from like 8 years ago, indicating that you have a far better ability to figure out what people look like than I do.
Without thinking about it much, I would probably write "DOUCHEBAG" or "PROMISCUOUS," as either one might be a good accidental conversation-starter for him.
or "PROMISCUOUS DOUCHEBAG," leading people to speculate wildly on who he'd pissed off.
Douchebag Q. Promiscuous, III.
If it's helpful, you should know that it's sort of a Speed Racer-style helmet sans visor and all-white.
Good suggestions, guys. I'll report back if we actually go through with this plan. Could be a couple days.
Armsmasher is also offline-ish until about Sunday. So it might take a few days for either to get back to you.
If one could, in barely visible glow-in-the-dark ink, write something pranksterish on the back of one's roommate's bike helmet, what might one write? Uh, hypothetically, of course.
"ARCHDUKE
of
ASSRAPIA"
My picture of everyone is just a sort of blogworld composite, based on having met a few of you IRL, and also on having seen some photos, posted here there and everywhere, of shiny happy blogpeople breaking bread at various and sundry blogging conferences and blogger meetups and the like.
Bearing in mind that this is just a rough composite, and the whole being infinitely greater than the sum of its parts, you look:
Above average in affluence (so no major dental problems, e.g.); college-educated, and perhaps a little bit geeky (but some of you do that "geek chic" thing, and some of you even manage to pull it off); young, or if not young, then youngish; more urban than rural. You're not dressed for success, exactly, but you're not sporting a polyester tracksuit, either: your style is perhaps best described as "alterna-yuppie." You would not wear white socks and sneakers in Manhattan, or if you did, you meant it as an ironic gesture.
In any group photo of blogpeople that I have ever seen, there seems to be a higher percentage of people wearing eyeglasses than is found in the population in large. So I'm thinking eyewear.
One of you claims to favour short-sleeved shirts with suits, but myself, I don't quite believe him.
181: That's gonna be a bit long for the helmet, IA. But I'll see.
181.last: it was a fucking august wedding. Is it tackier to wear a short sleeved shirt with a suit or to be DRENCHED IN SWEAT ALL DAY? I say the latter.
There should be short-sleeved suits with short pants.
DON'T EAT
DUCK BRAINS
with a drawing of a duck in the center.
Basically, I just want a poster like that, and I'll take what I can get.
I saw a woman wearing a tshirt that said
MAKE FURTIVE CLUMSY PASSES
NOT WAR
the other day. I wanted to ask her where she got it, but I didn't.
Alas, no. I didn't get her number for you, either, Ben.
First thread that's made me repeatedly laugh out loud; lord knows why. Bonus gold stars to apostropher for 175 and 189, but Sifu's 172 and Ned's 178 cracked me up, too. Ha.
One shirt I remember seeing was a college-age girl with a shirt that had big blocklike letters that read
BOY
FROM
HOME
186: The August heat and humidity mean not a jot to me, lad. Boyz II Men, yeah?
Gawd. What hath feminism wrought? The menfolk have gone all soft and entitlement and shit.
Admit it, Tweety, you're an embarrassment to your sex.
I looked fucking sharp, dammit. Don't make me upload a picture.
Yeah! Yeah! Upload a picture! Upload a picture! Yeah!
Was that the sending or receiving mixed message wedding?
Photo added to group, against my better judgment. Wily, Heebie, wily.
Dude, there's something horribly wrong with that woman's face.
Really. You should scribble thick black marker over her face or something instead. That's just fucking frightening.
It's a skin condition, you insensitive bastards.
What are you doing with your arm in that photo? It looks like you're raising it to sweep around and welcome people to... a back yard?
And yet, I can correctly pronounce the word "etiquette," and I don't work in menswear.
Appying the rules favored by B., Cryptic Ned, and ED, the salesdude was pronouncing it correctly.
In an ideal world, yes.
In the world we live in, no, but at least when there is an English pronunciation of the word ("empire"), let's use it for everything, instead of having a secret counterintuitive snooty pronunciation for one rarely-used definition of the word.
216: No. In English, "etiquette" is pronounced et-(shwa)-kit.
"Etshwakit"? That sounds super-affected.
