If you must do something with tomatoes, I prefer a good Aymara-nara sauce.
Surely the connotations were intentional.
I would think so. Otherwise why on earth would they use that spelling?
Currently Becks is in the bathroom with Catherine, simulating the toilet-crouch approach to fellatio in a public restroom.
Yes, Catherine and I just test-drove the toilet-crouch standing fellatio approach and deep it unsuitable. I fell off the toilet seat and into the wall and wasn't even going for too much of a range of motion.
Although I will admit that it put me at a better groin height than I would have expected.
Maybe Catherine's just poorly endowed.
there's no way that shit works. where did this theory come from? becks says ogged, but really, this is impossible.
I can't think of a better reason to do so. Well. One better reason, I guess.
Yeah, we need full results here.
Also, I keep wondering, after Slate keeps re-posting that "Can you be white and on the DL" column---is it possible to be a woman and on the DL? And why is this question never asked?
You guys are my heroes. I have a suspicion that Becks' fall might be explained by inebriation rather than my innovative bathroom fellatio technique, but I'll await further word on that.
17 - I think these are valid testing conditions. One, we're not that drunk and, two, someone attempting bathroom fellatio would likely be slightly intoxicated as well.
Also: that position was kind of hell on the knees.
Kneepads, girl. Do you need cerebrocrat to tell you everything?
Actually, I'm pretty sure bathroom fellatio tends to be a middle-of-the-day activity, usually in library and airport bathrooms. (One of my friends in Cleveland used to be a male prostitute.) Everyone's very sober because they're on their way to Junior's little league game right afterwards.
I volunteered to serve as the control.
21: best unfogged parenthetical in months and months.
20 - No - different knee issues. This position involved crouching like a catcher in baseball.
22: Right, I think the argument was not that the position could be assumed, but that it could be performed to completion. Come on, Flophouse! What do we pay you for?
Oh hm I thought we were talking about hands-and-knees, here. Did you try that one?
Also don't talk to me about baseball tonight. I don't want to get myself banne-- BUCHHOLZ BUCHHOLZ BUCHHOLZ -d. Shoot, there it goes again.
So, hands and knees, Becks. And snap the hips.
This position involved crouching like a catcher in baseball.
Smart. More yoga, no falling, I'll bet. Nonetheless, let me reiterate that you have brought honor and glory to the blog.
25: oh, that kind of control. I thought 'Smasher was just sort of a dom.
27: I think the honor is yours, ogged. That she could hear such an obviously flawed theory and still--on the strength of your reputation--subject it to testing indicates a deep and abiding respect for your bathroom fellatio intuition. But, yes, Becks and catherine are to be commended. Knowledge of what won't work remains knowledge.
I think what you probably want to do is straddle the stem of the bowl and tuck your feet behind it. Not terribly comfortable for the library-and-airport set, but it should put you at the right height.
(26: That last pitch was a fucking gem. This kid has the best curve I've seen since Zito.)
Now the alternative theories must be tested. Because I'm a feminist this is science.
This thread demonstrates why Unfogged needs to branch into video.
(26, 30: Buchholz! Holy shit!)
it's the pelvic thrust that really drives them insa-a-a-a-ane
it's the pelvic thrust that really drives them insa-a-a-a-ane with rage and indignation
26, 30, 33 -- Sorry I missed the game. We watched the Nats beat the Giants, getting our look at Mr. Bonds for the year. Nice to watch Wily Mo Pena catch a couple of long flies from BB, including the 3d out in the top of the ninth.
This thread demonstrates why Unfogged needs to branch into video.
Except that C&B shut the bathroom door. So much for peer review.
37: For shame. Open access to data is the very heart of the scientific method. It's like the S. Korean cloning thing all over again.
They didn't want anyone stealing the catcher's signs.
AWB @ 35
I was mentally assigning the pelvic-thrust action to Becks. ala Magenta and Dixie
This is a source of rage and indignation?
Tell me more.
41: Ah! I thought you meant from the blowjobbee. What matters the blowjobber's thrusting?
Shit. I kinda thought whatever I was doing in the midst of a blowjob was under the radar. It's one of the only times in bed when I feel like I can be totally selfish without worrying what the dude is thinking about, because he's thinking about the blowjob. This knowledge poisons my mind.
because he's thinking about the blowjob
Sometimes watching, y'know.
Unfogged: killing my sex life, one comment at a time.
after Slate keeps re-posting that "Can you be white and on the DL" column
I'm so happy I haven't wasted precious time reading that column. Foley? (Foley! No. Not Axel.) Craig?
I'm pretty sure bathroom fellatio tends to be a middle-of-the-day activity, usually in library ... bathrooms.
That is truer than you could possibly want to know.
Unfogged: confusing my sex life, one comment at a time.
I probably should have started reading this site when it was a few years older.
46: Don't think of it as killing, AWB. Think of it as replacing.
damn. I had no idea that appreciation was so dangerous to the appreciated.
Or maybe I did. Performance anxiety is a bitch, isn't it?
I probably should have started reading this site when it I was a few years older.
Unfogged.com. Rated NC-17.
Surely we can all agree that there's nothing worse than having sex with someone who is overly interested in when/if you have an orgasm. Sneaking one in under the radar is, therefore, a sublime treat.
there's nothing worse than having sex with someone who is overly interested in when/if you have an orgasm
I'd be okay with that.
Goddamn it. I'm not reading the sex threads until the people I'm fucking are as old and weird as all of you are.
there's nothing worse than having sex with someone who is overly interested in when/if you have an orgasm
Is that even worse that receiving oral pleasure?
You do have a point, overstated though it may be. One does prefer a more organic interaction.
And destroyer, ignore all the NY women when they talk about sex.
53: Maybe it's gendered, then. Men who make a lot of dick-swinging hay over the female orgasm spend a lot of time during the action asking, "So, did you? Are you? When? Now? How? Soon? What if? Where?" I think this is supposed to come off as "thoughtful requests for info" but functions more as "distractingly insecure."
54: You have lots of time to become neurotic. Fear not.
I'm with Apo. That sounds just fine to me.
55: I have never said that receiving oral is bad. I just think it can be employed rather uncreatively.
I'm not reading the sex threads
Haven't you caught on?
They're all sex threads. Especially the ones about real estate and mortgages. And ogged's calisthenics.
Well. Maybe not the Instapundit thread. But all the others.
53: Like my coworkers, for instance. Not one of them seems to care whatsoever, no matter how many times I bring it up in team meetings.
If you think I'm going to stop caricaturing your position, missy, you've got another thing coming.
This thread past comment 5 is useless without pictures. Or video. Yeah, yeah, C&B shut the door behind them. So what? Couldn't the recipient take pictures/roll film?
Smasher, are they still in there? Because, 16! 16!
Like Smasher doesn't have a camera in a shampoo bottle.
Sighs. They are watching Die Hard, not giving phantom bjs in a locked bathroom.
45, 46: You don't do the look-each-other-in-the-eyes thing? How could you not do the look-each-other-in-the-eyes thing?
56.1 I sometimes ask afterwards. But only when I actually care.
44-6,via 68: What AWB really wants is this.
you've got another thing coming.
Oh, Ogged.