Who will take up the mantle, Sir Kraab?
I know the date doesn't work for everyone, which is too bad. Hopefully the MLA meetup will help a bit to drown some sorrows.
I'd fall over in those boots before I'd had a single drink. AWB clearly has powers of balance and grace that I lack. So the spot's still open, 'smasher.
Erm.... it's not a secret that AWB has fallen over at least once.
Then what will you be wearing in the spirit of AWB's gesture?
How about nice safe Birkenstocks and fishnet stockings? Confound the haters on both sides!
I haven't picked out my footwear yet . . .
I could put the "Bear" in AWB!
Except I'm not burly at all.
Or gay.
I'll wear those boots, but only if SomeCallMeTim comes.
If you wear those boots, he probably will.
Ah, w-lfs-n. I was just trying to decide if that joke was too crude. I still can't tell.
Heck, if Tim shows up I'll make an idiot of myself in the sparkly dress.
I wouldn't get it dry cleaned, LB.
I read "Save the Date" like "Save the Whales". God protect December 29th from the horrible things that threaten to transpire.
If LB wears the sparkly dress, I'll try my damnedest to make it.
With your RSVP, please include any conditions on and/or motivating factors for your attendance.
I will attend iff someone makes a firm commitment to pay for my flight and/or have sex with me.
I'd like to attend. Do any of my fellow youngsters plan to make it? Teo, destroyer?
Well of course I won't be showing up, because I am lame etc. But apropos pissing you off, I am about to head off to spend the weekend at Sundance.
Do any of my fellow youngsters plan to make it? Teo
You know what you've got to do to make that happen, Sam.
25 is interesting.
i'm assuming it incorporates a joke on teo's name,
and so i'm led to believe that sam k, at least,
pronounces "pwned" as "owned".
in my mind, i don't.
but some does and some doesn't, from what i hear.
I don't think "iff" can be used in the same sentence as "and/or".
I want what Kid Bitzer's smoking.
If things go according to plan, I'll be deep-sea fishing in a banana republic that day, and will be unable to make it. However, I may wear my sparkly dress in any case.
My improvised biconditional symbol got stripped out, I meant:
p↔(q∨r)
Dear Sirs and Madames,
I wish to attend this soirée and make an idiot of myself in a sparkly dress.
29--
sure, have some.
a blend of folk-phonology and teen-trend-tracking,
cut with ethno-lexicography.
generally not habit-forming, but ymmv.
I will definitely make love to teo if he comes.
34--
he asked for a firm commitment to "have sex with".
"make love to" used to mean no more than "flirt with", "whisper sweet nothings to" and the like.
i'd say this commitment isn't any firmer than...
various unfirm things.
I just checked on flights, and you can do it under $400 round trip. Come on, you know you want to. I understand libertarians show up at these things.
I just checked on flights, and you can do it under $400 round trip.
That's still a substantial chunk of money by my standards.
I understand libertarians show up at these things.
I fail to see why this should entice me.
39--
lb is always confusing "libertarians" with "libertines".
you can't imagine how disappointed she was with greenspan that time.
I intended to imply that libertarian women are easy, but come to think of it I have no idea. Still, forty bucks a week tucked away in your sock drawer, and you'd have paid for the flight well before the party.
Fine, bitzer, fine. I will have sex with teo. And I don't mean that he and I will have sex with the same other person simultaneously—this isn't the "with" of "I will go on a walk with teo".
I'll be there, and if somebody has to have sex with teo, well, I guess I could take one for the team.
That's still a substantial chunk of money by my standards.
Too right. The ladies of easy wallets should subsidize us.
This is not turning out the way I'd hoped.
The plane ticket thing is rather more important than the sex, actually. I should have phrased my initial statement to include that.
The plane ticket thing is rather more important than the sex, actually.
Teo, you're just classing up the joint more and more as you dig.
Your priorities are all kinds of wrong there, teo.
47--
it's one of the expressive limitations of first-order logic:
no sentential operator to express "i'd prefer p to q"
I should probably have included some caveats about the sex as well.
40: Greenspan was both, in his time. His relationship with Ayn Rand was hardly a purely intellectual one.
He could probably afford teo's plane ticket, too!
52--
but he wouldn't.
moral hazard.
Dear Mineshaft,
Please help me solve my problem. My pretend internet friends are throwing a bitchin' party. I am invited. My problem is I don't know how to get my wife to let me go.
1. I travel a lot during the week. Like, every week. Sometimes Monday thru Friday. So weekends are considered sacrosanct.
2. She would be horrified to know that the I have all these internet friends. She thinks all that time I spend on the computer is work-related
3. I could make up some other pretext to go to DC, but I'm not a very good liar.
How can I attend the awesome party and not end up engaging Will for legal services afterwards.
Easy: give will's number to your wife. He wouldn't take you on after that since it would be a conflict of interest.
Just to name drop, my second cousin once removed was a competitor for Ayn's favors. Possibly a successful one.
She would be horrified to know that the I have all these internet friends. She thinks all that time I spend on the computer is work-related
This doesn't seem good. Perhaps the first step is just explaining that you have pretend friends, and then waiting a good while before proceding to step 2.
There is precedent for passing the hat to make attendance at a meetup possible, come to think. If that's the main obstacle, I'd kick in some money for a ticket.
Send her to a Scottish hen party on the 28th. You'll be home before she is.
teo, factor into that $400 the savings on alcohol vs. if you were home buying your own drinks. That's, what, $150 at least. More if you subsist off the cheese & chips at the party.
kr, i think you need to confess to your wife.
then maybe she'll agree to your going, or maybe not.
your pretend friends who live in your lap-top really are not that important, no matter how many hours you waste chatting with them.
58 to Teo, and I've got a toned-down version of Ruprecht's problem myself -- I doubt Buck will want to come, but I feel weird taking a couple of days out of the kids' Christmas break, given how much I work, to go to a party in DC with my invisible friends by myself. But not an actual problem, just a certain amount of embarrassment.
I'd kick in some money for a ticket
Me, too. Another benefit of aging is that one is more likely to be in a position to help out starving students & artists.
Who is the coordinator for the MLA shindig? rfts is going to MLA, I think, and I could probably find ways to waste time in Chicago.
There is precedent for passing the hat to make attendance at a meetup possible, come to think. If that's the main obstacle, I'd kick in some money for a ticket.
Isn't that a Mann Act violation? I would have contributed, but now that Apo has volunteered to take one for the team, I think we could be prosecuted for conspiracy to violate the Mann Act.
57 is the obvious answer.
And I'd TOTALLY donate money in order to put Ben and Teo on the spot like that. (And it bears pointing out that if he accepts the money, Teo is doubly obligated both to Ben and to everyone who donates to make good on his word.) I can imagine nothing more delightful.
My brother med his wonderful wife working at a restaurant where all the other guy employees were gay. He also met lots of other women that way.
This refers to the teo-related link above.
65: I think IDP is the mover and shaker.
62:
Bitch really has the right idea. It is probably more palatable to say that you are going to meet someone to have sex than that you are going to meet your pretend friends.
conspiracy to violate the Mann Act.
No, it's conspiracy to violate a man.
No, it's conspiracy to violate a man.
That ship has sailed long time ago.
kr, i think you need to confess to your wife.
NO!!!!!! Don't do it!!!!
57 is the obvious answer
If I were married to you that would be true, but Mrs Ruprecht has a hypertrophied skepticism of the internet.
I have been thinking of a technically true circumlocution like "a party with some people I met through work".
73.2
i know that phrasing sounds a bit heavy. i actually first wrote 'come clean to', which is more casual, but then foresaw distracting puns.
we were just talking about this, right? that the major determinant of real, enduring, valuable happiness is the quality of your relationships with family and friends?
i'm not arguing that pretend internet friends shouldn't get together--though in my case it's out of the question for other reasons--but i do think some perspective is in order.
hanging out with friends: cool! creating deep sources of division and distrust with spouse: not worth it!
though in my case it's out of the question for other reasons
Collapse of the probability waveform?
Can I bring my kids? My 11 1/2 yr old son is willing to dance with the ladies and would want to play the drums with Stanley. My daughter loves to give back scratchies and is likely to fondle your boobs when she meets you.
i'm not arguing that pretend internet friends shouldn't get together--though in my case it's out of the question for other reasons--but i do think some perspective is in order.
hanging out with friends: cool! creating deep sources of division and distrust with spouse: not worth it!
Send one of the other kid bitzers. Or are you all in jail?
Of course, you are correct. Secrets are not good for relationships.
But wait. Bitzer is six to eight people! Something fishy is going on here, folks!
Six men married to one woman? Six men married to each other? Man-on-man, man-on-dog?
My daughter loves to give back scratchies and is likely to fondle your boobs when she meets you.
My understanding that if Apo's there, she should fit right in.
77--
i like that answer.
reminds me of the time when we all auditioned for schrödinger's cattle-call.
KR, my wife had a similar attitude last year. They come around. Plus, last year's party was fucking awesome. Even if I didn't get to do any fucking.
76, I think, is the answer to 75. Lying is bad, and think if she finds out that your "friends from work" are "internet friends."
You just need to explain to her that you started reading this site because of some link about a point of law or political issue, and it's really funny, and she should check it out. She'll look, not be interested, but at least you can start talking to her occasionally about "what I did at work today and oh, remember that website I told you about? There was the funniest joke on there...."
Then at some point you say that there's an academic convention just before the new year, in connection with which these website people are having a "meet up," and you know it sounds incredibly dorky of you, but you'd really love to go, pretty please?
Isn't "Schrödinger's Cattle Call" is the name of Stanley's band?
I suppose I'm willing to fondle the women's boobs, so will's daughter doesn't feel out of place.
I will happily chip in for Teo or Ben or anyone. DaveL bought be lunch at the Hawaii meet up, and I need to pay that forward.
83: Chopper's wife even came to a meetup herself this year! And she was lovely and nice and everything.
84--
great advice. she should check out the site.
and really, just to shorten the whole learning cycle,
wouldn't it make most sense to start her with this very thread?
Chopper's wife even came to a meetup herself this year! And she was lovely and nice and everything.
And she didn't scream "M-Fer, I want more iced tea!" There wasn't any kind of craziness at all.
Ruprecht needs to introduce his wife to this site and then have her guess which commenter he is.
In fact, a lot of us should do that. Everyone except me.
We should all introduce Ruprecht's wife to this site? You'd think she'd catch on after a while.
have her guess which commenter he is
I like that idea -- having IRL friends guess who we are. Too bad my pseud is known to one and all.
93: yeah mine's not all that much of a secret among people who know me. Would not be very exciting at all.
I thought sam k was a girl.
You're thinking of Sir K.
This brings me to my next meta-proposition, that to minimize the repetitive confusion of part-time commenters, Gonerill and Sir Kraab should trade usernames.
I thought sam k was a girl.
Nope. All boy.
part-time commenters
I dislike this construction, because it implies that people who comment heavily are actually full time, when in fact many are allegedly gainfully employed.
When in fact... allegedly
Good job, Sifu.
"So you see honey, there's this group of people I sort of know becaise we all comment on a blog..."
"A blog? That's like a Myspace page, right?"
"Well, not exactly. It's communication..."
"[Blood pressure rising] Like a chat room?"
"No. Someone posts about something, and a dialogue ensues"
[Arms crossed] "What do you talk about?"
"Well, lots of things. But the conversation usually turns to sex... Wait! It's not like that. No one actually hooks up. Well, this one couple did, but that was offline at the party in DC... Oh no, that came out wrong. You see, these are totally conventional people. Well, there is the one lady with the open marriage and a boyfriend on the side. Wait! Where are you going?"
[KR on the phone] "Will, man, I need some legal advice."
Yeah, you literally screwed the pooch on that one.
Oh, just give her the URL. Once she realizes how abstract and intellectualized the butt sex conversations are she'll be more embarrassed for you than anything.
Gonerill and Sir Kraab should trade usernames
Then how will I get invited to stag parties?
104: hang out in the woods until they know you better.
100- You didn't even get to the part where what you really want is to go to said party in DC.
Another Unfogged first -- the first time the sentence "My improvised biconditional symbol got stripped out" has appeared on the internet.
But the conversations here are sometimes neurotic and self-absorbed; I came back because from the archives linked here twice, and the second conversation was interesting. If there's generic internet suspicion, maybe a more polished, lower variance introduction to personal blogs? Do people here read outer life ever?
He's perceptive and a great prose stylist IMO.
Asymptotocally approaching the truth, I could tell her it's a party at Sausagely's house and point her to his blog. She would find it totally plausible that I'm buddies with him. Ditto for Ezra Klein, though obvs the truth vale there is lower.
114--
oh man. thanks for that link. i remember it well.
because that was one of the funniest, most outrageously funny,
unbelievably funny things i have ever read.
i mean--your boy andrew has written a number of things that put him in the all time hall of funny.
and that was definitely one of them.
110: It should have occurred to me when I was making a symbol using left and right angle brackets that I needed to use the html for them instead of just entering the characters. But act first and think later, that's my motto.
Asymptotocally approaching the truth, I could tell her it's a party at Sausagely's house and point her to his blog. She would find it totally plausible that I'm buddies with him.
No no, see comment #70. Point her to catherine's blog and say that you're visiting DC for a romantic assignation with her.
115: it is, in fact, a party with a bunch of respectable-type politics/media/other nerds. You are not, in fact, going to a crazy foot fetish/adult baby/bukkake party arranged in some sleazy Yahoo chatroom.
Just don't mention me, apo, or B. Or w-lfs-n, of course. Can't have her know you're consorting with that type of person.
But act first and think later, that's my motto.
"Cut twice, measure tomorrow"
What's up with the unfoggedbot currently?
I should put up a post about the bot: it kept crashing the site and will go back up when Ben or Becks has time to put up a stable version.
120--
"a bunch of respectable-type politics/media/other nerds"
interesting. i would have said
"a bunch of lawyers, academics, and computer geeks",
but maybe that's more unfogged than it is the flophouse,
or maybe it's neither.
Even though The Poor Man is back up, I still can't find where The Eds revealed the plan to replace the Statue of Liberty with a giant statue of El DeBarge. I demand to talk to a manager!
while you're at it, look for the place where he wanted to put
up a 9/11 memorial including a giant animatronic bin laden saying "ride me, infidel cowboy".
or words to that effect.
The Poor Man doesn't mention Randy Moss enough. Headed for 27 touchdowns this year. At least. He hasn't even found his rhythm yet.
65: I think IDP is the mover and shaker
Certainly want it to happen and talk it up, but Po-mo, who offered his place, is at least as important, because it really should be closer in than some northsidy place, which is what we've used before.
Plus that thing about Caligula's horse, when thinking of me as a party planner...
Sifu's advice in 120 is actually quite sound. Mrs Ruprecht would sympathize with my desire to hang out with intellectual/policy/media types.
However--and here the plot thickens--she knows that the dreaded jealousy-inducing Ex is a Washington policy/media type. And I couldn't even swear she won't be at UnfoggeDCon, because I know for a fact she has been to at least one party at the flophouse before (I discovered this quite by accident).
So it's still going to be a hard sell. BTW I'd gladly bring her-- she's a life-of-the-party type-- but we'd have to travel with the whole family, and she hates that.
Can't you put the kids in a kennel for three days? Jack Handey says that kids love that!
Some slow Friday night, a post about spousal internet queasiness might go surprising places
I know for a fact she has been to at least one party at the flophouse before
That's funny. I'm trying to guess who it is now.
You know, if Unfogged is going to keep having these things, at some point there's going to be a push for free childcare.
However--and here the plot thickens--she knows that the dreaded jealousy-inducing Ex is a Washington policy/media type. And I couldn't even swear she won't be at UnfoggeDCon, because I know for a fact she has been to at least one party at the flophouse before (I discovered this quite by accident).
Man, you're just screwed. With a specific ex who she's got issues with who might or might not be there, and a general suspicion of the internet? I really wouldn't bother trying to sell this, unless you can work out a way to bring her.
That's funny. I'm trying to guess who it is now.
Kerry Howley!
Ever read The Victorian Internet? While at least one marriage between operators was recorded, most would never have been able to consider meetups, yet conversed freely anyway.
Ruprecht's story keeps getting more elaborate. He's just making shit up. I doubt he's even married. Pretty soon he'll be telling you he's been seeing Becks' mom, or w-lfs-n's mom, or some shit like that. Or maybe, you know, UFOs.
On the internet, a google search reveals that he's a dog.
Knecht, heed bitzer. Even after UnfoggeDCon, there will still be some fun left over for the rest of us.
Lest I be misunderstood, I don't think Mrs Ruprecht would surmise any connection with the Dread Ex. It's just that her very existence reduces the expected utility of the vague explanation of a party with DC media types, which would otherwise be quite OK.
And Emerson, I assure you my story is true in all its particulars.
MattF, if you start with the demographic outliers at Flophouse parties you will narrow the relevant suspect poulation quite rapidly.
Knecht, I admire the moxie but life isn't an episode of I Love Lucy. Tell her about Unfogged or don't, but either way, don't make up a story. That ain't good.
Damn gays and their family values. Knecht, an undetected lie is the truth. That's Confucius.
Ruprecht assures me that his story is true. Oh. I believe him, then.
Hmph.
Why do all these gay men keep sucking my cock trying to preserve a sense of trust within my marriage?
Dan Savage is a marriage advocate too.
This is all just another part of the Gay Plot to Destroy Marriage, by convincing us that marriage is no fun.
When protecting marriage is left up to the gay men and the slutty open marriage chicks, you know the terrorists have won.
gay men and the slutty open marriage chicks
refers to:
A) e.e. cummings' favorite band
B) attendees at the Republican National Convention
C) a good time to be had by all
D) all of the above
Yeah, fuck that. Suck it up and down the street. The 30th! Clearly, the 30th is the only day to do DCon.
Cmon, what's really going to happen on the last day of the MLA? Leave a day early -- you're not on the job market yet, right?
I'm a member of the dele/gate assem/bly. Not sure when the big meeting is. I also don't like leaving MLA early, as I'm one of like two people on earth who actually enjoy going to papers. We'll see. Sigh.
Consider me sitting on your left shoulder, with a pitchfork and horns.
It always ends at like noon on the last day anyway.
Come on now, is there even a point to DCon if AWB won't be there? The 30th!
Since I am unemployed, my schedule is free.
Would anyone from Boston be willing to make a road trip down? And what's the absolute cheapest that I can expect to spend on a place to stay, since I understand that the Flophouse will be full?
BG, I might be interested in road tripping down, although I'm not technically in Boston.
The 30th! Clearly, the 30th is the only day to do DCon.
I'm with AWB. We need to have an alternate UnfoggedDC on the 30th.
Certainly want it to happen and talk it up, but Po-mo, who offered his place, is at least as important, because it really should be closer in than some northsidy place, which is what we've used before.
Yeah, my place will be very accessible to all the MLA delegates, and hopefully everyone else too. Although I realized shortly after volunteering my place that it would mean I would have to clean sometime in the next 3 months. And that you all are probably used to those fancy-pants adult parties where people supply more than beer.
Erm, I guess I'm saying that I'll probably want party advisement from someone, and I'd prefer to concentrate on drink supply as my area of expertise.
If I come, I can bring some food, but I'm not yet sure whether I'll be in NY or Chicago around New Year's.
Didn't mean to suggest I wouldn't help, physically or with the decisions. What we need first is a date, I think.
You can just hook up with somebody there, IDP.
the dreaded jealousy-inducing Ex is a Washington policy/media type.
Kerry Howley? Of course not! It's Washingtonienne.
163: I was thinking of the 28th. It works with the MLA and a Friday night will be convenient for work without breaking up the weekend.
Unless we have people travelling in other than those with the MLA, and they really need it on the 29th.
what's the absolute cheapest that I can expect to spend on a place to stay, since I understand that the Flophouse will be full?
I have two couches available for folks who need a place to stay. Chopper has right of refusal on the first; you're welcome to the other one.
If mrh will roadtrip it, and I can crash on Matt F's couch, then I'll be there.
I shall set it aside (metaphorically) for you.
We need to have an alternate UnfoggedDC on the 30th.
Just get back to DC in time to bang on the Flophouse door about 7:30 AM on the 30th. Probably should bring mimosa makings and breakfast foods.
It's starting to look like everyone's going. Somewhere.
I'm in DC and also have a foldout bed. Can fit one person or one couple, assuming they are getting along well. Email me at the link above if interested.
that is, if interested in a place to stay for DCon. I'm not selling my futon.
and I meant the link below, the one attached to my name. Which I've attached in this post too.
I hope everything is clear now.
I can't comprehend possibly planning as far ahead as this party is scheduled. How do people do it?
this early, you don't really *plan* to go. You just sort of intend to.
When I was trying to schedule my exams a few years ago, I started e-mailing professors in September to find a day in late October/early November. One wrote back to me about a particular week that he could make it on Thursday morning but not Wednesday or Friday. He then wrote back a few minutes later to say that Friday would be ok; he'd been looking at his calendar for the following year.
Good lord. People like that should be wiped off the map, sometime in 2009, subject to availability.
Eh, he's just a guy who has a lot of commitments.
While I appreciate all the offers of help, I kind of have bigger problems at the moment. I'm afraid this is going to be a lower priority for a while.
Teo good luck kid.
I say this despite my bastard nature.
When you're free whyn't you come visit B and I in California and we'll take you to some leather bars or film studios or whathaveyou?
Disneyland, Tweety. We can take him to Disneyland.
Right! Disneyland. That's what I meant.
Thanks, Sifu. I'll think about your offer.
I just got a call from my cousin in Tucson offering his sympathies. It was very sweet of him to call, since we don't see each other very often.
Oh Teo, just saw the news on your blog. I'm so sorry. Take care of yourself, and best wishes to your mom.
I'm really sorry for your loss, Teo.
I'm really sorry for your loss, Teo.
I am too, teo.
I don't know you, of course, but am proud of you.
Best wishes to you and all your family.
Teo, my deepest condolences, I'm so sorry.
Oy, now I'm going to feel like a cad for writing anything other than condolences to Teo (which I express on the dedicated thread).
For the record, I believe that I have proved to Emerson's satisfaction that the Dread Ex does, in fact, have an association with the Flophouse.
Also for the record, none of the guesses as to her identity are correct. Would be kind of cool *if* on some of them, though.
I accept KR's claim. KR is apparently not McMegan's dirty secret,
I asked my parents if they'd have the kids so C and I could "go to Washington for a couple of days and go to a party" and my dad asked whose party and then I started laughing and admitted it was to see a bunch of pseudonymous internet people. Saying I did know some of their real names through Facebook made me laugh more. Fortunately my dad understands the internet (I think he may have been the original 47 year old - apparently his first pseud was "Pixie"!). So I think we'll come.
Fine. I cut my MLA reservation short and am booking a flight to DC on the 29th. Anyone got a corner I can huddle in for the night? Who from NYC is coming and planning to head back on the 30th? Are we taking Fung Wah? Is someone driving?
We may have lost AWB for Chicago unless we can schedule earlier than the 29th.
Oh shit. I forgot they were going to be simultaneous! I actually made the decision because I can't afford to stay in Chicago for all four nights.
Not simultaneous; several people, including our host, were hoping to make both. Probably at least one day between is sensible anyway.
That's a pretty impressive commitment to meetups.
I have taken endless shit about missing last year's, which I did for stupid reasons and then regretted. Besides, I have these boots, see?
Nah, I probably won't make both, but the convenient day of the 28th for the Chicago meeting should make attending both easier.
And AWB, check your email.