Weren't you musing about pants problems when I met you?
Oh, hell, just go nekkid. Or wear a skirt. :)
There's no end of pants problems in Oggedville, PG. You realize this means I have to get my suit pants let out? Woe, woe.
About ten years ago, I spent nine months really getting into shape: riding my bike about 200 miles/week, swimming a minimum of 5 miles/week, lifting weights, and barely eating. The idea was to get back to my weight, 158 pounds, from sophomore year of college, when I had rowed crew.
The goal, though gripping in its own right, wasn't nearly as interesting as the barely eating part. No matter how little I consumed, I couldn't get below 165. I tried and tried, and then I tried some more, upping the mileage on the bike and in the pool, lifting less frequently, and eating even less. Eventually, I stopped having breakfast, ate only a smoothie for lunch, and usually had something like rice and beans for dinner. Still, every time I stepped on a scale: 165.
Then I finished my dissertation, and the whole getting-back-into-shape, recapturing my nineteen-year-old body project seemed less important. And now I'm just kinda fat.
3: along with many who have chosen to go pants-free.
I remember when I used to wear a 34" waist. Between that and eating, I'm glad I chose the way I did.
If only they made suit pants with elastic waists. I could wear them to the opera.
And anmik, I hear you, although I'm pretty sure I could get back to my old waist size (and if you were aiming for a weight and lifting, it's not really surprising that you couldn't hit it--you were putting on muscle as you lost fat). But I'm realizing that maybe it really was very, very skinny and there's no need to get back there.
i still wear a 34" waist.
and the string i loop through the belt-buckles in front to tie them on isn't more than two feet long, either.
I've been working a bit harder lately at getting back into shape and fitting more of my pants. The getting back into shape part is progressing significantly better than the pants part.
A cousin, who's a doctor, insists that people are really "supposed" to put on a pound for every year they age beyond their twenties. Beyond the horrifying thought that I'll be very, very fat around my hundredth birthday (even before that, I suppose), I'm just not sure she's right.
I did like anmik did almost ten years ago, but without the weights; mostly it was lots of physical activity and cutting a substantial amount of wine and beer from my diet. Within a few months I was down to high-school size, under 130 lbs. with a 28" waist. I'd like to say that body image didn't matter that much, but man, I felt like a million bucks. The clothes I bought then are still in my closet, shaming me whenever I open the door.
Ogged, these posts are depressing the hell out of me - I'm happy that I've been able to keep anywhere near a 34" waist (despite being something like 4" shorter - vertically - than you), and I'm in an uphill struggle with my libido without the Zantac. I'm what you dread to become.
Where's that pint of Ben & Jerry's?
Blacksmithing. Handlebar moustaches. Optionally swordplay as well. Many vendors cater to 33" Elastic waist is unspeakable. The vendor euphemism is travel pants, with discreet prose explaining how they hide the puckers.
10: I've heard that it's typical for Americans to put on a pound a year, not that you are required to as part of a healthy aging process.
If you don't have an obvious gut and you're thicker, it could be marbling of (yes, humans can be prime as fat infiltrates our muscle) or it could be nasty visceral fat, the stuff that KILLS YOU.
Me, I'm finding that as I lose weight, I'm losing my ass and not my rack. I want my ass back, damn it!
14: I think her point, if memory serves, was that trying to keep that pound (or so) off is unhealthy. To which I said: fatty.
Ogged, I am telling you: this hangup about weight and pants size and workout schemas and shit is fucked up, man. If you get a reasonable amount of exercise, you're fine, and whatever size your body is is irrelevant.
Seriously, my weight's gone from 150+ down to 117 and back to about 141, I think, in the last several years, and you know, whatever. I looked fine at all points and had clothes altered as needed and was in pretty decent shape at both the high and the low end (and am currently working on it, so shut up).
Stop being such a freak.
Stop being such a freak.
What in your past experience makes you think this is a possibility, B?
10: I've heard it's typical, but not good for you.
I need a sport. I'm not so much worried about losing weight (I have the most stubborn setpoint in the world), but I should get in better shape.
What sort of sports can one take up in her late twenties?
B., intermittent amphetamine abuse makes you an outlier in this population, so no one else can draw any conclusions from your experience.
Ogged, sometimes lead deposits in the brain cause inexplicable weight gains. Have your head weighed to rule this out.
B. again, could you run over and screw Ogged's leaden brains out so he can complain about different things for a change?
Between 145 and 175, I don't think I've ever really left the space between 32 and 34, although 32 in most brands doesn't really fit. I've gotten terrible at buying pants that fit, though.
I had to let my suit out in 2004. I hadn't worn it since 1998.
What sort of sports can one take up in her late twenties?
Whatever sports one damn pleases. One is a long way from dead yet.
What sort of sports can one take up in her late twenties?
Pretty much anything, no? The real question is what leagues there are around you for oldsters.
shivbunny floats between a 32 and a 34 even if his weight changes a lot (~30lb). But I think guys are more stubborn about changing their waist sizes, or maybe it doesn't matter as much to the fit of men's clothing.
that Levis wasteland (kekeke) between a 32 and 34 inch waist.
I've been there for nigh a decade. Further problem, 33s stretch out over time, requiring a belt. 32s never seem to stretch enough to be really comfy. Anyway, if one shops online, finding 33s shouldn't be a problem.
Well, maybe not, but honestly, this "fatty" stuff is all well and good hahaha but the "must fit into my old pants" thing is just seriously fucked up. Quit being fucked up, Ogged, and quit spreading your fuckeduppedness to the world.
What's fucked up about wanting to be able to wear the pants one has rather than go through the hassle of buying new ones?
Take up ultimate, Cala! And smoking pot! No, the latter's not necessary, really. There are usually fun all-ages leagues, and there's less pressure than your typical team sport. But, you know, there's the odd hippie.
24, 25: Sure, but most of the sports options seem to expect one had years of training as a child and are returning to it.
I need to get back into shape but I am not motivated to go on the damn elliptical any more.
As for sports, on the back cover of the first volume of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Alan Moore is described as the author of Cocaine and Rowing: The Sure Way to Health. His beard's longevity testifies to the sagacity of this prescription.
For losing a bunch of weight fast, you really can't bit clinical depression. I mean, it's got its downsides and all, but it's remarkably effective.
most of the sports options seem to expect one had years of training as a child and are returning to it
That's true of the pot smoking as well.
I admit I have a bit of the "old pants" thing. But the whole notion is really just a placeholder for a general dictum not to let physical limitations, as I get older, get the better of me.
More points in favor of ultimate: nobody plays it as a kid, it involves a lot of running, but no more than you're comfortable with, people who play it are generally good about bringing beer.
34: you can pick up pot smoking later in life. I'm living proof!
My experince says 33 is exactly right, though I've known people for whom it had the opposite effect.
Can we suggest some real sports before we consign her to Ultimate?
31: I don't buy that, at least outside the major ball sports. You don't need years of training to run or bicycle, swimming is hard to do well but easy to do well enough to get a workout, racquet sports likewise, kayaking and rowing are great fun and great workouts, etc., etc. What was that slogan Nike had a few years back?
If only they made suit pants with elastic waists.
I'm pretty sure they do. I dare you to wear them.
Also, what B. said.
Cala, have you tried biking, either road or mountain? You can do it alone -- who needs a stinking league? -- or with friends. You can do it stoned, tweaked out on meth, or sober (preferred). And unless your back or shoulders go out, it's good for life. Plus: the gear. So much titanium, so little time.
No matter how little I consumed, I couldn't get below 165. I tried and tried, and then I tried some more, upping the mileage on the bike and in the pool, lifting less frequently, and eating even less.
Body builders will take one meal/week and eat whatever they want. Anything. That picks up metabolism for the rest of the week when eating low calorie meals.
B., intermittent amphetamine abuse makes you an outlier in this population
I swear upon the life of my beloved child that what dropped me from 145 to 117 was birthing him, breastfeeding him, and toting his fat ass all over the Seattle hills on foot. I lost weight like noone's business, it was freaky.
B. again, could you run over and screw Ogged's leaden brains out so he can complain about different things for a change?
Um, no.
I'll even back Tweety up on Ultimate. We played off and on the first couple of years of law school and it was a lot of fun.
The worse you swim, the more exercise you get. Twice the value per minute. Thrash around!
31: Bah. Yoga's awesome. Also I've become a big fan of the bike--nothing's nicer than actually, you know, having some *practical benefit* to one's exercise.
you can pick up pot smoking later in life
Not if you want to join one of the really competitive leagues. Unless you're one of those rare natural talents, that is.
46: No, that's just the perpetual subtext.
38: Good point, it's not always a guarantee. A good friend going through a really shitty time was venting to me not long ago aqnd ended with, "And you're full of crap, too, because I'm depressed as hell and I gained five pounds." So, your results may vary...
44: When someone hides behind an innocent child, what can you do?
If B. cared about Ogged,..... well, Ogged would be just as bad off, what with the lead, but Unfogged would be more fun.
39: what exactly is not real about Ultimate, Esther?
41: yes, they do.
You pretty much lost it with the vimeo stuff, didn't you tweety?
44: I forgot about breastfeeding. Way better than depression for weight loss. Side effect, massive breasts. Which may mean little to some. But quite a novelty for those of us aerodynamically built.
48: Yoga's great, but not intense enough for me. The real problem is boredom. I don't even like weight lifting any more.
Di, you can safely deduce from first principles that Ogged would be the kind of clinically depressed person who eats quart after quart of ice cream to self-medicate. No, there's nothing for him to do but take up smoking.
Biking stoned: not recommended. Swimming stoned: can be quite pleasurable, but only if you've already attained cardiopulmonary fitness. Ultimate stoned: whatever.
58: biking stoned rules, are you crazy? So fun.
54: I'm trying to recapture my lost youth as a happy idiot.
57: You're probably going to suggest he wouldn't be willing to breastfeed either, even for the massive breasts.
Take up a racket sport, Cala. There's usually someone around about your level, whatever that level may be. And getting better at it is satisfying, easier (a bit), and more obvious than it is with ball sports.
Intense yoga: Ashtanga. "Power" yoga at the trendy studios. Seriously.
biking stoned rules, are you crazy? So fun.
Fun, but dangerous. Do you live somewhere without cars?
Just realized that tennis, etc., could be considered ball sports. But, for the purposes of my comment, they aren't.
Another option for Cala (if I'm remembering location correctly).
65: without good sense, more like.
Cala, you should find a co-ed flag football league.
Intense yoga: Ashtanga.
Not remotely pleasant, the ashtanga. Like yoga boot camp.
biking stoned rules, are you crazy? So fun.
Play Nude Twister with Movie Scene Option!
You know, I suck at tennis, but my wife and I hit a ball around every day for two weeks while on vacation, and it was a lot of fun and decent exercise.
Tennis is a lot of fun, I must admit. Not all that much running though, compared to other sports.
Ogged, out of curiosity, do you still play basketball at all?
On mrh's comment, I should not that I suck worse than him--and I can say that without knowing his skill level--and still have enjoyed the (decidedly) odd tennis game.
I hate tennis.
Ooh, I know! Dance dance revolution! I so totally want to get that.
Sometimes, ogged, it's really okay to throw out the borderline-anorexic pants.
Sometimes, ogged, it's really okay to throw out the borderline-anorexic pants.
I think you're right, JM. This is the realization I came to today. (Well, I wasn't quite ready to throw them out, but to give up on them.)
Ogged, out of curiosity, do you still play basketball at all?
Nope. Too creaky.
As long as you're now coming to terms with Fat Ogged, maybe you can learn to be Old Wizened Jump-Shooting, Pick Setting Ogged.
I'm surprised at how many of the suggestions involve other people: tennis needs a partner, ultimate requires a herd of dipshits (I kid), and people keep mentioning leagues. Cala, do you want to socialize or get in shape? Again, biking will allow you to do both, if you want, or just the latter, if you're a misanthrope.
Old Wizened Jump-Shooting, Pick Setting Ogged.
Even by our standards, this seems needlessly cruel.
wrap around skirts look great on guys, ogged - and they do wonders to hide big hips. Just a suggestion.
I hear rugby, cricket, soccer and other non-American sports are good for fitness because they require steady activity without any built-in dramatic moments.
Actually I seem to remember that all the advice while I was dissertating was to take up some kind of long-distance type sport, like running or biking. Something about the mindset.
75: Well, I suspect it may have had more to do with the instructor than the yoga itself.
Dude, ogged, you haven't given up on the borderline-anorexic pants until you've taken them to the Goodwill. Or at least that's how it works in my overflowing closet, which is a suitcase right now, unfortunately, godammit.
Even by our standards, this seems needlessly cruel.
Thank you, baa.
88: Or maybe the bacon and the smoking.
"Old Wizened Jump-Shooting, Pick Setting Ogged."
Coming to terms with the reality that my mind could still process what to do -- crossover, take opponent to hoop -- but my body could no longer make it happen was the exact moment I realized that I had entered middle age. I haven't been the same since.
84: So yes, cruel.
I was much younger then, and the bacon and smoking hadn't yet taken much toll.
Again, biking will allow you to do both, if you want, or just the latter, if you're a misanthrope.
Precisely why biking has always been my preferred mode of exercise (not that I get enough.)
Biking is dangerous, man. Any activity that stakes your life on grandma staying awake is right out.
92: My middle age moment is in progress, and mostly involves realizing that I actually do have to sort of make an effort if I'm not going to begin sliding into couch potatohood and elasticized pants and chronic low level aches and pains.
That and the needing dental work.
i'd also put in a plug for walking.
it's not as high-intensity as most other sports, but then again,
it's not as high-intensity as most other sports.
as you get older, intensity=wear & tear, if not outright damage.
so it's good to develop a form of exercise you can take with you into your dotage.
and the portions of my life when i have walked 3-5 miles per day, day in and day out, saw me very lean and fit.
wrap around skirts look great on guys, ogged - and they do wonders to hide big hips.
Just be careful about the length. Knee-length or not more than two inches below, unless you're willing to go all the way down to the ankle. I don't care what Coco Chanel had to say: if the skirt hits you at mid-calf, it'll make your calves look like cattle.
92: Part of my getting-in-shape program was setting out to see whether I could get ready for a marathon by December. Answer: no. But I have run a couple of longish races after not having raced at all for several years. I finally figured out after the second one that the reason I was dying the last few miles was that I was pacing the first part of the race by running in the part of the pack inhabited by people who run the way I think of myself as running. Which, not having raced in a while, is not how I run but how I used to run.
Age and lard are a nasty combination.
You guys are so mean about Ultimate. Tennis, biking, ultimate: excellent three-fer. For flexibility throw in some tai chi or Yoga and ta-da! Instant cross-trained fitness hippie.
Just realized that tennis, etc., could be considered ball sports.
what's the etc.?
Walking really only works if you live in a proper city with public transit. Otherwise you look like a doofus walking briskly along the sidewalk to nowhere.
103: Presumably racquetball, squash, and the like.
104: you should take up mall walking.
98: The chronic aches and pains, mostly lower back, began with the first kid. The second has brought searing agony, though not chronic. Seriously, the having kids thing is hard on the body. Difficult to imagine what it does to women. And now we've come full circle to fatty. Too soon?
Squash is quite fun. I've thought of taking that up, but my god, talk about playing to type.
104: Part of what we're counseling here is to embrace your inner doofus and just get out there.
Wasteland nothing. Ogged, I own two pairs of Levis in 33/34.
104--
the looking like a doofus was going to happen no matter what.
but, yeah, it certainly is true that some locales are more conducive to walking than others.
Biking is dangerous, man. Any activity that stakes your life on grandma staying awake is right out.
Perhaps it's different way out west, but in these here parts they have bicycle paths that wind their way through lush prairie preserves. I've noted very little threat from dozing grandmas.
I own two pairs of Levis in 33/34.
Send them to me!
101: I think age and lard are delicious together.
106: Right, exactly.
107: The kid hasn't been bad on the ol' aches and pains; it was the fucking graduate work that screwed up my neck.
Although PK jumping on me from the top of six stairs today really did not do me any favors. I told him that, sadly, I think he is now too big to do that ever again.
107: FWIW, I've had minimal low-back aches and pains since I started kayaking, even intermittently.
112: oggedville is, surprisingly, pretty horrible for biking. Lots of built up hostility from being nice the rest of the time. The rest of California is swell, though.
"I've noted very little threat from dozing grandmas"
exactly.
it's the ones you don't note that get you.
Levis in 33/34
that's my size, too. weird. again, you can buy them on levi's webiste.
I refuse to embrace doofushood. I'm still *having* my middle age realization; I haven't embraced it yet.
Presumably racquetball, squash, and the like.
ah, yes. those.
tennis is great, and i've never had much trouble finding partners.
GRANDMADOZER FLATTEN ALL BICYCLE
Biking might be okay. I'd have to buy a bike. I think I generally do better with skill sports.
115: "now too big to do that ever again"
So you're trying to force PK to have his own realization-of-middle-age moment. No time like the present, I suppose.
122: Maybe it would help if you said something about which sports you've liked in the past. We're kind of flailing away randomly here.
Biking is dangerous, man.
Yeah, it can be scary sometimes. I like to go here--restricted access, cars go slow, and often don't go through the whole park. And then what do you do during winter? Still, along with some weight lifting, it's the only exercise that's ever worked for me, so I'm sticking with it (or not, depending on when I'm asked.)
122: "I generally do better with skill sports."
Nice. I generally do better at things that require no skills at all. No more advice for you, youngster.
84: There are crueler fates. Like Cherry Picking, No Defense SCMT.
What exactly are "skill sports"? My gut reaction is to think that means lots of finesse, not so much serious physical activity.
124: I know, it's very sad. Poor kid.
Then again, the time I realized that I was too big to do that to my mom was the time when she dropped me on the concrete. So I figure taking the wrenching pain and then telling him never again is comparatively kind.
Plus, he'll need to have something to discuss with his therapist when he grows up.
You should drop him on the concrete just in case, though.
126: Sorry about the flailing. I just hear about people getting into interesting things and I realize if someone asked me what my hobbies and interests are everything in my life falls into a 'used to' category except for the goddamn weightlifting.
Fencing, weightlifting, figure skating (really low level) are what I used to do.
130: Usually things like basketball, baseball, soccer--stuff where you need to learn a skill that is not specifically athletic.
133: fencing?!? Well hell, take up Kendo, round out your skill set.
132: Eh, he'll damage himself all on his own at some point, I'm sure. A mama shouldn't do *everything* for her kid.
131: If that incident makes the top ten in his therapy sessions, you'll have done pretty well. By contrast, we're making our older boy feel lousy about no longer fitting in his four-year-old pants. "Too tight," we say. "Fatty." "Now go swim more laps."
137: Tell him that in a couple years, you'll be able to jump on him from six stairs up, and thus, the circle of life is complete.
138: You're raising Ogged, you realize. You must stop, now.
133: You can still do those, right? And the racquet thing seems like it fits.
141: We bought him a blog for his fifth birthday.
140: I *totally* tell him stuff like that all the time. "When you grow up, you're going to wipe *my* ass, right?"
"Well, doc, my parents would never let me have the sans-a-belt slacks I so desperately needed."
My children will not be allowed near the Internet.
147: It doesn't matter what you "allow"; the internet will find them.
147: Cala, I so look forward to you having kids.
Squatting and snatching are the ideal exercise. As I've tried to tell you several times already.
After you squat and snatch, you clean and jerk and everything's all cool again. It's a nice tidy package.
Related to kendo and fencing, why not martial arts? Built in learning track and instruction. Great workout and it is skill based.
figure skating (really low level)
I never quite mastered the figures, but I was once a tulip in an ice pageant.
My kid just turned six, and he doesn't even know how to skate. My hockey goon cousins up north are now accusing me of child neglect.
On this blog, with many academic-type persons, one could almost be certain that many people would be near, ya know, colleges, which often have very nice running/walking trails.
max
['Without cars on them, even.']
154: Purses. Because then you get to sprint afterwards. And sometimes grappling! It's like cross-training.
159: My kid is a hockey freak and I can't skate. He picked the one sport Dad could be of no assistance whatsoever.
Is Ogged's height a state secret or can I just be told what it is?
Hockey looks like so much fun. But the start-up costs are big.
163: 7'9". No, just kidding. 4'33".
It depends on whose body his pod last hatched near.
Cala needs to join up with these gals.
164: What's so hard? Buy some skates and a stick, take a ball peen hammer to your front teeth, and you're good to go.
161: I thought of that. Plus, when you're caught, there's endless opportunity to lift in the prison yard. But the food's kinda starchy, so it's hard to get back into the old pants.
1'8", 780 pounds
Imperial lbs or American lbs?
Ogged, 696 kg/m of pure fitness.
I heard he had, like thirty goddamn dicks but they were all tired from chopping onions.
158: Plus you get the gift of humility, as everyone from elderly Japanese men to young American women corrects you on absolutely everything.
You could try paragliding. Hiking back up the training hill, or to launch from wherever you parked, reminds you that the wing is a heavier-than-air craft.
I tried martial arts once, and I liked it, but the instructors had a little too much 'I possess the wisdom of the East' thing going on. I doubt that's universal.
Ogged, 696 kg/m of pure fitness.
Do you mean /m³?
You could try paragliding.
Or kitesurfing. That looks like a blast. But the learning curve has got to be non-trivial.
Related to kendo and fencing, why not martial arts? Built in learning track and instruction. Great workout and it is skill based.
Just don't be like the asshats I see on the lawn outside my office, or at the nearby park, prancing around in black robes they have clearly designed for themselves and generally trying and failing to have the sorority girls that go by be tremendously impressed by their fu.
Christ you would not believe these guys. I should take a photo sometime.
177: Depends on how many broken bones you mean by "trivial."
178: Are those Society for Creative Anachronism nerds? LARPers? Some lower form of nerd not yet generally known?
Just don't be like the asshats I see on the lawn outside my office, or at the nearby park, prancing around in black robes
Are you sure those guys aren't doing Tai Chi or something. Man I wouldn't want to practice without a mat.
175: The actual wisdom of the East seems to consist in large part of elderly Japanese men hitting you with a stick to get your attention, and then hitting you again to correct the position of your arm, leg, head, etc.
181: I'd worry more about entanglement and drowning, or just spending all of your time fishing a soggy kite out of the water instead of the cool flying-off-waves bit.
Also, the "non" in "non-trivial" is doing some work there.
175: it definitely is. Try going to one class various places until you find somebody who's not totally insufferable.
Yeah, I've met some people who got injured pretty seriously kitesurfing. Sure is impressive to watch, though.
I too have punked out on every athletic activity I've tried, aside from walking to work (and cribbage).
187 s/b "definitely is not," as in "not universal."
I rescind my rollerderby suggestion. Cala should take up larping. Think of the cardio workout you'll get from running around the woods, hitting people with a duct tape encrusted styrofoam cylinder while screaming, "SIX FIRE! SIX FIRE!.
192: and here I was going to exploit your quote overflow.
I bet somebody'll get that, dammit.
So, anyway, I says to Mabel, I says, "
Have you guys heard about the laughter groups? Some yoga spin-off where you sit around and laugh for the whole class? The problem is, they use the premise "you don't need a reason to laugh" which I find galling. I have the whole visceral "Mom, don't embarrass me at the mall, okay?" feeling towards these people who don't have the common sense to be embarrased.
196: God, no. Are they related to the irredeemably insane cuddle party movement?
196: right, it'd be better if they had somebody falling face first into gravel over and over again. Then you wouldn't feel so dumb about laughing.
The hitting with a stick is just normal apprenticeship training. Mark Twain has it in "Life on the Mississippi". It as usually accompanied by "You dunderhead!!!!!!!" and then a lot of stuff Twain couldn't include.
Japanese, of course, do it all in an artsy way.
188: How'd they hurt themselves? Collisions? Bury the board and try to pull themselves apart with the kite? I mostly just see people who know what they're doing so I don't have too much sense of what the non-drowning risks are, other than just not being able to make the thing work.
Are you sure those guys aren't doing Tai Chi or something.
I'm quite sure. They're a mix of very skinny and very tubby nerds and the instructor has a tan and a ponytail. They have kendo-like sticks which they pretend to fight each other with, and they are particularly fond of a kind of "lightning flurry of kicks" move which looks lame but is worth watching because the "defense" move is to run backward while bitchslapping the other guy.
Are they related to the irredeemably insane cuddle party movement?
Probably not. It's a movement started by psychiatrists.
A lot of psychiatrists have started to accept that as odd as it sounds, laughing for no reason makes you feel better. Just like sitting with your head in your hands makes you feel more depressed, or clenching your teeth makes you feel angry.
Of course this all may be socially conditioned and after doing it for months the effect may wear away, but it's true.
Hang gliding can be fatal if you forget to connect every single one of the connections just right. Happened to a friend of a friend. Fucking picky, anal hanggliders.
Hang gliding can be fatal if you forget to connect every single one of the connections just right. Happened to a friend of a friend. Fucking picky, anal hanggliders.
Take that, insufferable Red Sox fans. Sorry, a nervous tic.
204: The oral ones aren't so bad, though.
What sort of sports can one take up in her late twenties?
Capoeira.
196: But laughing for an hour straight would be fun! And what better reason could you get for laughing than to sit in a room full of idiots laughing for no reason?
Since this is the thread of the moment, I want to reveal that I searched Wikipedia for "Unfogged" to see if it had an entry for some mad reason.
My search brought up the articles on:
- John Derbyshire
- a 1977 Italian soft-core porn movie called Maladolescenza
- "List of fictional books within the Harry Potter series"
- "List of fictional books"
I don't think that's a very good synopsis of what goes on here, but it could be worse.
203: it makes sense cognitively; a lot of your internal sense of what your emotional state is gets formed by external cues, as far as they can tell. If you're smiling for no reason the brain assumes it must be because you're happy. I love that it's possible to outsmart yourself like that. See, reflective self-awareness? You're not so smart, after all.
154: Purses. Because then you get to sprint afterwards. And sometimes grappling! It's like cross-training.
Is Ogged's height a state secret or can I just be told what it is?
The ogged is the six feets tall.
Some yoga spin-off where you sit around and laugh for the whole class
In this case, doing while stoned is obviously recommended.
I think the laughing thing was started by an Indian guru type. I saw some video of laughers that was quite alarming. It seemed more like barking than laughing.
In this case, doing while stoned is obviously recommended.
The question is whether it's more expensive to pay for the class, or pay for the weed and replicate the experience at home.
In fact: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXgdSOxaCGI
The ogged is the six feets tall.
Hmm, same as me.
216: Somehow it's like watching Barney the dinosaur.
The Ogged looks taller than six feet.
Because it is lanky. Although someone recently told the Ogged he looks shorter than six feet. Someone was probably trying to be mean.
He looks taller because he shaves his feet.
220: so I'm taller and fatter than you. In your face!
It's an optical inches thing.
So you're saying as his hair gets thinner, he looks taller?
so I'm taller and fatter than you. In your face!
Sifu's face is taller and fatter than Ogged's.
For those of us unable to read every comment anymore (sad but true), who are "those dickheads"?
Funny, there was an article about "laughing yoga" in the local paper this morning.
226: I don't think anyone knows.
The Ogged looks taller than six feet.
From what I hear he only weighs about 160lbs, so this would figure.
225: you are almost certainly correct.
The Ogged wears lifts and vertical stripes.
170 lbs and with stretch marks?!?
I take it back. You totally need to lose weight.
200: One got picked way up by a heavy gust and dragged many yards through scrub trees. The others were knee and back injuries.
Apo, I hope you followed that urban sprinting link.
235: Yikes. Staying on/over water does look like an important part of the program. Knee and back stuff sounds like what you'd do if board and kite decided to go in different directions, which, again, bad.
A couple of guys I know used a big kite to pull a tandem kayak, one in the front working full time to control the kite and the other in back working full time to try to keep the kayak pointed in the same direction as the kite. It was reported to be quite a ride, but I think they only did it once.
236 is correct. Excellent use of the chase scene music from Raising Arizona, too.
Heh. What is he shouting at them before he runs?
It's a movement started by psychiatrists.
So, I'm reasonably pseudonymous, right?
My father (God love him) thinks homosexuality is a movement started by psychiatrists. "They can make you gay," he pronounces. "Who, Daddy? Who can make you gay?" "Ah well, you know...." Me, not cooperating, fixing him with a blank stare. "Christ, well, you know...well, we never even heard tell of such nonsense until they [the psychiatrists] started sniffing around."
Um. Well, anyhoo, we now return to our regularly scheduled programming...
240: you should play him the "This American Life" about the APA's decision to remove homosexuality's classification as a mental disorder. Don't know that it would change his mind, but it'd be funny..
I'm back to my college-age pants size, 34 x 34, for the first time in 35 years. When I was in graduate school, when I met my wife, when we were married, when our children were born, I was larger.
Serious cycling, now possible in Chicago year round due to climate change, it seems.
I'm about 15 pounds heavier than I was "when I wore a younger man's clothes" the last time. Don't know why.
Tennis is like swimming, in that you get a better workout when you suck. The problem is finding people who are equally bad. The sweet spot is people who can reliably hit it over the net and in bounds, but have no more control than that. Sends you running all over the court.
"They can make you gay,"
It's funny because it's true.
Sounds like IA's father has been talking to my president.
Bong Snorkles will be my name when I go into the porn industry.
Cala, really, ice hockey. You can already skate, and there's nothing like a good cathartic board check.
I never would have guessed it, but my wife has really enjoyed dragonboating, and more recently outrigger canoe racing. One thing about this is that anywhere you go, you can call ahead, and sit in on a practice. And go drinking afterwards. I had no idea how popular dragonboating is: we were up in Philly a couple weekends ago for the 8th annual tournament there, and they had 142 teams. It's big in Pittsburgh now two, and maybe wherever it is you are currently . . .
Racing season is over, but they still practice until its too cold, and work out with their machines etc through the winter. (The DC team is kind of wimpy -- they'll bring the boats in a few weeks hence. The Nanaimo team paddles year round).
I think I might have a stress fracture. If you try to stay really active after 35, it's just one damn injury after another.
I used to wear pants 3 sizes too big, just because thats how most guys wear them. Which is probably why they don't notice a change in a waist size or two.
I will have a theme song, too --- "Mr Bong Snorkles."
I will have a theme song, too --- "Mr Bong Snorkles."
Which should be played on the skin flute.
IA's dad and our president illustrate an interesting point: these ideas are just as common in Canada, but don't effect policy.
Bong Snorkles will be my name when I go into the porn industry.
On the one hand, thank god you have tenure. On the other hand, what hath tenure wrought?
246: My father hates your president.
That's just the narcissism of small differences. Also invented by the shrinks, but there you have it.
I knew a man Bong Snorkles and he'd snorkle bongs for you
In worn out shoes
With silver hair, a ragged shirt, and baggy pants
The old soft shoe
He got so high, got oh so high
Then he lightly dove in
I met him in a pool in New Orleans I was
down and out
He looked to me to be the eyes of age
as he spoke right out
He talked of life, talked of life, he laughed
snapped his hips and stepped
He said his name "Bong Snorkles" and he swam a lap
across the pool
He grabbed his pants and spread his stance,
Oh he jumped so high and then he snapped his hips
He let go a laugh, let go a laugh
and shook back his clothes all around
Mr. Bong Snorkles, Mr. Bong Snorkles
Mr. Bong Snorkles, dance
This gives a good idea of the spread of dragon boating. It's big in Canada, Europe, and the Antipodes as well.
Re: 207 - Before taking capoeira, work out rigurously for about six months, let me tell you- it is a killer if you're not prepared!
When that song makes money I'm getting half the royalties sifu.
Say, you know what makes me tear my hair out? Co-authors, that's what.
Co-authors you can't boss around, you mean.
259: oh, for sure. We can go in on a gold-plated bong snorkle together, like a timeshare thing.
261: How very right you are.
Somewhat embarrassing update
Oh yeah, soooooo embarrassing.
I'll tell you what's embarrassing for poor ogged: low-rise jeans? How many Dashboard Confessional CDs do you own, exactly?
I thought B would be the one to make fun of me for those. I have a pair of low-rise jeans; they actually look pretty good, so gay up, tweety.
Hi, have you even seen my links in the other thread? If I were any gayer right now I'd be Republican. Still: low-rise jeans? I'm totally telling North Face.
I really don't understand trousers that aren't low rise, except for suit trousers that one wears with braces. every pair of medium or high rise trousers i have will fall down, no matter how goddamn tight i have them (excepting braces, latin phrase)
I really don't understand trousers that aren't low rise
Dude: Sinatra, looking smooth.
271: It's true, that is a nice pleated skirt that Francie is wearing, there. Rather sever hairstyle for a ladie, though.
i'm not saying they don't look good. although i prefer the current low-rise trouser and short jacket combo, but it can look good either way. its a functional argument: they just don't work for me.
that jacketdoes appear to be like a dozen sizes too big
re: 175 and 178
The solution to that is to choose a not 'teh-wisdom-of-teh-Orient' martial art, e.g. thai boxing, kick-boxing, savate, ordinary western-boxing, etc.* Also, controversially, all of those martial arts are considerably more likely to leave you with some genuine 'hitting people' skills than many (but not all) of the 'teh-wisdom-of-teh-Orient' things.
Martial arts are great for some things, in my experience, but not great for others. Improved co-ordination, flexibility, improved muscle tone [particularly in weird little muscles that only really get worked on by gymnasts, dancers and martial artists], and good classes can be a lot of fun. The people, in my experience, are generally pretty nice* and having an avenue to unleash some aggression is also pretty good. Also, the skill factor is high, which can sustain interest over long periods of time. Also, yay, hitting people.
On the other hand, I'd be very surprised if it'd increase your aerobic fitness as much as lots of the other forms of exercise already mentioned. Hard martial arts training is more anaerobic than aerobic. Short bursts of very very intense effort punctuated by periods of relatively low effort. A hard martial arts class is more like an hour or more of interval training than it is like sustained exercise. Reasonably high levels of martial arts practice are compatible with being quite fat [as I should know].
Martial arts classes that are more like sustained aerobic exercise classes [the various kickboxercise type things] are likely to be totally shit for actually learning a martial art, iyswim.
* Fencing also totally rocks and is really good fun.
** I've been to quite a few martial arts classes and generally the asshole-quota has been lower than you'd typically find in any common-or-garden exercise class.
Do you think it will be therapy-worthy in later life that we bought our son dumbbells for his 7th birthday yesterday?
Also, I'm thinking of trying Pilates - any opinions?
re: 276
A lot of people recommend that kids don't start using weights until they are older than that. However, I've no idea if that means 'no incredibly hard weight training but light exercise with dumb-bells is OK' or if it means 'no weight training, and we bloody mean it'.
What ttaM said about martial arts classes. Lot of crap out there. Avoid stuff that's heavy on katas and other choreographed shit, and look for places where you do a fair amount of actual sparring.
I doubt many kids have the muscle to do the kind of weights it would take to damage them. A 60 pound kid that jumps off something three feet high hits with what, something like a couple hundred pounds of force IIRC.
But kids usually find weights boring. Gymnastics will make them strong, and they'll have a lot of fun.
We got him the dumbbells (only little ones - 0.5kg, 1kg, 1.5kg) because he's forever doing lifts with tins of beans. The ~400g tins just fit in his hands, so that was ok, but when he decided to move onto the ~800g ones, and kept dropping them them as his hands aren't big enough, we thought dumbbells would be safer.
He likes press-ups and sit-ups too - I should find some kiddie boot camp in which to enrol him.
re: 278
Speaking of sparring, I fought in my first competition this weekend. That was ... interesting. Nice array of bruises, and I lost both matches, but quite good fun.
279 and 280 make sense. What about gymnastics? As a form of boot camp? That always looked fun [I was jealous of my little sister who went to gymnastics].
i doubt trying to lift weights would do any good, but it definatly won't cause any problems
240: My father (God love him) thinks homosexuality is a movement started by psychiatrists.
Well, that's what Foucault said. In a sense.
Way back before you people were born, in the fifties, there was a tremendous hue and cry about homosexuality, mostly in a Freudian therapeutic context but also in Tennessee Williams, Truman Capote, and all kinds of pop trash. It was generally agreed that mothers were to blame.
"Oh, I can barely fit into 30" waist jeans! Oh, the cheap houses in my neighborhood cost $800K! Pity me for not being rich and thin enough!"
It was generally agreed that mothers were to blame.
"My mother made me a homosexual." "Oooo, could she make one for me, too?"
Ogged, I feel your pain. After years of wearing a size 32, I yearn for the size 29s of my glorious college days. I even dare to imagine that if I stopped drinking my weight in beer every week, then I could probably do so.
36-38 here, 5'6". I hardly care. I usually wear loose shirts, though.
i doubt trying to lift weights would do any good, but it definatly won't cause any problems
Weights are great because they tone you up and you can find whatever weights feel right, including light weights. And you feel better afterwards instead of all those aches and pains that come with running, for example. I ran for many years and always felt bad for people who were obviously miserable running. Going from inactivity straight to running is cruel.
Also, I'm thinking of trying Pilates - any opinions
I really enjoy pilates. It is probably one of the best all round core exercise system that I have found.
Unfogged:
Where the men have 32" waists and the women have large breasts.
Where 90 percent of the people are descendants of Mayflower people.
Where everyone is smart and plays well with others.
(ok, so maybe not that last one.)
Little kids shouldn't do serious weighttraining for two reasons. Before puberty they can't make the sort of serious strength gains an adult can (hormones aren't there.) And if they're lifting really heavy weights, there's a risk that they can injure their backs and growth plate.
But that's a risk of serious training, not messing around with 5lb weights or starting an exercise program.
Does anyone know of a reason for an eight-year-old not to jog? Sally's been saying that her friend Johanna goes jogging with her dad, why don't we? I can't think of a reason not to, other than the actually getting up in the morning problem (I think this is going to be a once-a-week on Saturdays thing), but does anyone know if there's some "little kids shouldn't run for more than a mile at a time" issue?
And that is a nice website. You know what I notice about it -- the writing's clear and coherent. Colloquial, but it doesn't drift into meaninglessness, and most weightlifting websites do.
Whoops, 294 is in entirely the wrong thread.
292: Because she'll slow you down.
re: 296
I don't know how fit Sally is, but when I was 8 I'd have killed a lot of adults at jogging. The slowing down would be the other way round.
when I was 8 I'd have killed a lot of adults at jogging.
Those Scots are vicious ruffians, even as children.
292 - I'd bet little kids can exercise as long as they want. and that they'll self-regulate when they're no longer enjoying it. I can't imagine there's any reason to restrict it. It doesn't seem that different from going out and playing basketball for hours.
Where the men have 32" waists and the women have large breasts.
Would this be a good time to mention that I can still fit comfortably into my 20-year-old leather pants?
Where 90 percent of the people are descendants of Mayflower people.
And some of them are were unknowingly related to each other!
(ok, so maybe not that last one.)
I bet the people on the Mayflower spent a lot of time on the boat criticizing each other's grammar.
max
['Trapped on the intertubes at sea!']
Can we suggest some real sports before we consign her to Ultimate?
Not sure if I'll get far enough in this thread to actually make a relevant comment... But screw you, Ogged.
296, 297: I honestly don't know who can outrun who this week -- six months ago I'd have run her into the ground, but I haven't been doing much of anything athletic since July or so, and her TKD class seems to run them pretty hard.
re: 298
This is, of course, true.
[But seriously, we used to live about 1.5 miles from school. And to save money, me and my friends used to run home from school at lunch time, eat, and then run back. Our parents let us keep the bus-fare (about 35p a week iirc) which was big money when you are 8. We did that most of the time.]
305: Actually, I don't think that's a bad thing.
Re. Update: THIS JUST GOES TO SHOW THAT ASSESSING YOUR FITNESS OR ANYTHING ELSE BY CLOTHING SIZE OR NUMBERS ON THE SCALE IS FUCKING STUPID.
Gah.
RIGHT YOU ARE SOUL SISTA
And to save money, me and my friends used to run home from school at lunch time, eat, and then run back.
Barefoot. "Mmm, mom! That boiled grass soup was really good today, like always! Could I have another piece of offal?"
re: 310
Hehe. No. It was quite a pleasant round-trip. Also, meant we could sometimes squeeze in 10 minutes of football, and go to the shop to spend our ill-gotten 5p on sweets.
This sounds like an Oor Wullie strip, of course.
http://www.thatsbraw.co.uk/Oor%20Wullie/Oor_Wullie-jings_and_crivvens.htm
I thought B would be the one to make fun of me for those. I have a pair of low-rise jeans; they actually look pretty good, so gay up, tweety.
Nah, I like low-rise jeans because they go under the mama belly rather than constricting one's breathing apparatus. Let it all hang out and be comfortable, say I.
Plus, on men? Hawt.
Katzenjammerish, especially in the drawing, but the kid is less destructive than the Katzenjammers.
re: 313
There are some strips where he gets mildly 'naughty'. The real anarchic stuff being produced by the same publishing house was the Beano material. Oor Wullie was always quite deliberately nostalgic. That linked strip is from the early 40s but strips from the 80s look exactly the same.
"Christ, well, you know...well, we never even heard tell of such nonsense until they [the psychiatrists] started sniffing around."
I was thinking about this and have something else to say. Adjusting our usually-reliable common sense to accommodate the fact that important facts and knowledge are being withheld can be very disconcerting, and many people are tempted to balk. Knowledge of homosexuality was one of these, and many people still feel that if it was nowhere to be seen once—even though all around us—and now seems to be part of every community, that it must have recently arrived. The thought that we weren't in the know offends our vanity on some level.
I sometimes think neoconservatism gets most of its traction and plausibility from this outraged "common sense" that is in fact no such thing, because manufactured media images account for so much of what people believe they've "experienced."
In the very years IA's dad was growing up, my dad, in the same county, probably, was becoming very aware of homosexuality, because he worked with a number who were quite "out" for the period, and they were his friends.
As I think I've said before, he never told my mother about this, about how many of their friends were, although he was happy to tell me when the issue became open in the early seventies. This indicates that he thought of it as a species of fact where you had to judge the hearer, and he judged that I'd be fine with it, being a child of the times, and she wouldn't.
