My first thought was drug interactions, actually.
"handle late-night nudity"
Those much be excellent training sessions.
re: or do they just grab Jane and Donny from the copy desk? I'm sure that there is an office pool to see which copy editor gets to pose with today's page 3 girl for these "illustrations".
Studies have found that sleepwalking can be brought on by stress, alcohol, eating cheese or consuming too much caffeine.
Amazing that I haven't been sleepwalking! (Or maybe I have, and I just don't know it.)
Cheese? Really?
Sure. Similar effects can be seen with an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, or a fragment of an underdone potato.
I could see more sleepwalking as being tied to medicines and stress but the nude sleepwalking epidemic leads me to agree with 'cult'.
I do not walk in my sleep, thankfully, though I do chatter and have bizarre nightmares
3 gets it right. Weird stuff, teh Ambien.
Drug interactions can explain the sleep walking, but I'm surprised at all the nude sleeping in hotels. I'd think most people would lean more toward the 'sleeping decently clad in case something happens in the middle of the night' end of things, but maybe that's just me. I'm moderately weird about sleeping anyplace but my own turf.
I'd think most people would lean more toward the 'sleeping decently clad in case something happens in the middle of the night' end of things
These are the English we're talking about. They're much more comfortable in their own skins than us alienated Americans. Why do you think they revel so in toilet humor?
12: I can't imagine wearing anything sleeping at a hotel, unless sharing a room with someone I don't know well or who would be uncomfortable with it. I'll only wear something under difficult circumstances (but I sleep very warm, dunno how much difference that makes)
11: boy is it. "Hey, what's this thing arriving on my doorstep? I bought what last night?"
That's from the boring Reuters report. The Sun naturally has a (SFW) picture.
SFW is relative. There may not be visible genitalia in that picture, but it still would be awkward explaining it to my boss, had he been walking behind me a minute ago.
Do they have people waiting around to be photographed, or do they just grab Jane and Donny from the copy desk?
Or even from the newsroom. One time the advertising department was putting together an ad for a local store, and they wanted a guy in his twenties to go with the female advertising rep who had volunteered, and I wasn't busy at the time. Technically, I guess that makes me a model, even if I only got paid in store credit.
OT: Did you hear there's a new gay stereotype out now?
I'm just sayin' labs doesn't need to worry that people will think he's gay anymore. TLL will have to watch out.
That would explain the tingly sensation I get when I read his posts.
12: I'd expect people to sleep in the same state of dress or undress at hotels as they do at home. Unless I'm sharing a hotel room with someone, I don't wear anything to bed.
it still would be awkward explaining it to my boss, had he been walking behind me a minute ago
Is that the standard now? Have we, at long last, no freedom left?
Now that I know that all you weirdos are sleeping naked in hotel beds, I'm going to have to wear two hazmat suits.
I'm going to have to wear two hazmat suits.
Don't forget the dildo, Ogged.
Also, I don't know what hotels you stay in, but I try to stick to the ones that change sheets between guests.
My understanding is that with that kind of hotel, you don't stick to them nearly as much.
Also, I don't know what hotels you stay in, but I try to stick to the ones that change sheets between guests.
It's like you don't know anything about cooties.
I was under the assumption that you took a shower before going to sleep, and washed the sheets with you in the shower.
My first thought was to be surprised so many exhibitionists were clever enough to think of "drug interaction" as a cover story.
Silly Ogged, that would be inefficient. I'd ask to borrow your towel if I was out of toilet paper.
Cooties are blocked by a nightgown, but survive being boiled? That's scary.
Ogged is right. You people are sick. Haven't you ever seen those Action News reports where they go to hotel rooms with ultraviolet lights or whatever magic cootie-revealing devices they use and show that however the view pleases, man is indeed vile?
The only more revolting thing in everyday middle-class life is those dishes of mints at the restaurant check-in counter.
My children have touched each one of those mints. Repeatedly. And you don't want to know where my children have been.
If they're anything like my children, I have a fair idea where their sweet little hands have been, and I shudder.
the ones that change sheets between guests
Remember, we're talking about budget hotels in England, here.
The only more revolting thing in everyday middle-class life is those dishes of mints at the restaurant check-in counter
And money. U.S. currency. Now there's something you don't want to ask where it's been. Ogged, if it upsets you to have this filthy stuff on your person, I'll take yours.
My vote is definitely on Ambien or similar drugs. None of the other things involved have changed recently, but the drug is pretty new. A friend of mine has a story about having eaten chicken - she's a vegetarian - while in an Ambien daze on a plane; the "helpful" passenger next to her got her some more food and insisted that she looked hungry. While drugged up, my friend apparently didn't remember to object.
And money. U.S. currency.
I think this one is busted.
My vote is definitely on Ambien or similar drugs.
Careful you don't pull the wrong lever.
I think this one is busted.
Everything but the first part of that story makes money sound totally filthy, slol.
Ambien just makes me sleep like the dead, but I sure have seen it make other people do all manner of strange stuff. After a long night of [redacted], the missus and I took a couple Ambien to drift off. I woke up the next morning and she was lying beside me in a full-length, sequin-covered dress. I nudged her awake and asked, "You feeling fancy or something?"
She looked down and exclaimed, "What the fuck?"
The digital camera had about two dozen pictures of me all passed out, variously wrapped in feather boas and scarves and pearls. She didn't remember taking any of those either.
Not busted: my wife personally tested currency for cocaine residue and found it.
The digital camera had about two dozen pictures of me all passed out, variously wrapped in feather boas and scarves and pearls. She didn't remember taking any of those either.
Holy shit!
that story makes money sound totally filthy
my wife personally tested currency for cocaine residue
Technically, neither filth nor cocaine are pathogenic.
If I call that a lie, will you upload one of the pictures to prove me wrong?
it's a larger point, slol: there's a lot of stuff on there, not all of which you'd expect.
44: Comparing apostropher's life to mine makes me think of Thurber on Dali:
The naked truth about me is to the naked truth about Salvador Dali as an old ukulele in the attic is to a piano in a tree, and I mean a piano with breasts.
44 is the funniest fucking thing I have ever read in all my life.
Probably all the funnier for knowing us in real life.
I'm stronger than dirt. Germs fear me. My germs can kill your germs. A laugh at your children's grubby hands.
Yes. The visual is what had me head-down on the desk, laughing until I cried.
The only more revolting thing in everyday middle-class life is those dishes of mints at the restaurant check-in counter
Do you honestly think your place looks much better under the ultraviolet lights?
JE has the right idea.
My brother was (maybe still is) a sleepwalker. Once, growing up, my sister woke up to my brother massaging her feet. He seemed perfectly normal otherwise, but was in a somnambulant state.
My sister was a freak, too: she used to sleep with her eyes open.
And then there is my daughter, who used to suffer from night terrors, which are akin to sleepwalking. Before we knew what was going on, it freaked us the fuck out. Even after we knew what was going on, it was very difficult to handle: your child seems wide awake, but screams bloody murder and runs away in terror if you try to hold or comfort her.
I'm stronger than dirt. Germs fear me. My germs can kill your germs
I remember reading that after an outbreak of polio in one of the Scandanavian countries an investigation revealed that "too much cleanliness" had weakened the children's resistance to the crippling disease. More filth for everyone.
I was a sleepwalker as a child and would routinely be found walking around the yard or "watching" the turned-off TV between the ages of six and ten.
Remember, we're talking about budget hotels in England, here.
Ew - Travelodge do often smell of smoke and/or piss, but I'm pretty sure they change the sheets. Formule 1 in France are the cheapest hotels I've ever stayed in, and I wouldn't sleep naked there.
60; yeah, the sleeping naked thing presupposes evidence of a decent laundry service, etc.
Travelodges tend towards the soul-less but basically clean.
58: wouldn't surprise me in the least.
The explosion of `antibacterial' home products in the US lately is particularly stupid.
And whilst we're reading British newspapers - the Times have an article about global warming, and in the online comments, Brian from London says:
"The answer is simple, all we need to do is find/create/modify a suitable tree to generate electricity in a collectable form. We can then plant mile,on square mile of trees that renew the environment whilst supplying electrical energy locally."
Fucking genius.
Once I was woken by a screaming female voice outside our house. I ran downstairs and found our neighbour's daughter. She was about 7 at the time. She'd sleepwalked out the house*, down the street and woken up alone, in the middle of the night, outside.
* Her parents didn't lock the door at night as her mother had lost both her parents in a house-fire when she was a child and was convinced they'd not have died if the doors hadn't been locked.
re: 66
I am way way to paranoid to ever do that. I also know several people who've had the 'woken up to find stranger in house' experience.
My mother and one of my sisters occasionally sleepwalk. My dad seems to have a little too much fun with this, on the assumption that the advice to not wake the sleepwalker does not entail refraining from asking the sleepwalker strange questions so he can tease them the next day.
The easiest way to get my sister back to her bed when she was small and sleepwalking was to ask her whether she knew she was asleep, to which she'd say 'yes', and then ask her whether she didn't think it was better if she did that in bed. Then she'd toddle up the stairs.
64: That's a great quote. Almost all of the crazy is in the one word 'suitable'.
re: locked doors.
One of the funniest things I ever saw. My little brother had only been walking about 6 months, still wearing nappies. Our front door locked with a key which was kept on the window ledge by the door, maybe 4ft up. He was an amazingly determined child. Will of iron. I watched him one day, drag his little plastic chair [remember he can barely walk and has almost no coordination] out to the hall and then spend about 10 minutes trying to climb onto it. He finally manages, then teeters up onto the back of the chair, clinging ape like to the door handle. His fat little hand grasps the key. Triumph.
I then watched for another 10 minutes as he randomly prodded the key at the lock. Total concentration on his face. I'm thinking, 'this is funny, no way this will work'. After what seemed like endless prods, the key went into the lock. The key turned and he was out the door and away. I had to chase the little bugger down as he ran off down the street.
Hysterical to watch. It was like watching a chimp doing algebra. But the sheer willpower and concentration was amazing.
Do you honestly think your place looks much better under the ultraviolet lights?
No, but per JE, those are *my* cooties, or the cooties of those related to me. It's *your* cooties that are gross. Why is this so hard to understand?
Slol has a deep understanding of cooties. The rest of you seem to think that cooties are a kind of bacteria, or cocaine.
I used to sleepwalk quite a lot in college. It was a function of being chronically sleep deprived, I think. Boy, was I happy the time I woke up just in time to avoid locking myself out of my room, entirely in the nude. No one saw me, either, as far as I know. I started wearing pjs after that.
Some people just don't want to be popular.
When I was a freshman in high school, my mother sleepwalked (sp?) right through a post-Homecoming dance party I was having...wearing only a t-shirt and underwear. It was mortifying.
I am in favor of nudity but have mixed feelings about budget hotels.
my mother sleepwalked (sp?) right through a post-Homecoming dance party I was having...wearing only a t-shirt and underwear
So great. Now ask SCMT how popular your mother is.
wearing only a t-shirt and underwear
Beck's Mom has got it goin' on.
"Mom, that's not really a life outfit."
I'll add my late vote for being careful with the Ambien. Nothing as funny as Apo's thank goodness.
It usually sneaks up on me and I have learned that even if I don't feel it I should not be at the computer "waiting" for it it take effect. I have sent embarrassing email and made purchase that I've had no memory of doing. Usually they were related to (very) vague ideas or to do's so it sort of made sense. Still, that stuff is dangerous. Take it. Go to bed. That's for me.
Apo seriously needs to post those pictures post-haste.
73: Even if I were to generally sleep naked, I would never have the--what should I call it? courage? wherewithal?--to do so in a dorm.
Huh, really? It was in a single (inside a suite) and, you know, I had sex there.
Seems like everyone everywhere at all times has the wherewithal to sleep naked.
I had sex there.
While I'm aware that other people's college experiences differed from mine, it still stings a little to be reminded of it.
Sleeping naked is overrated. Even after sex I put some clothes back on to sleep.
What are these "clothes" you speak of?
Just thinking in terms of sheet-defilement.
Sleeping naked is overrated. Even after sex I put some clothes back on to sleep.
Ditto.
I don't like sticking to the sheets.
Indeed, I also prefer to sleep clad, these days.
The key turned and he was out the door and away. I had to chase the little bugger down as he ran off down the street.
We had friends over the other week and their 3yo (in collusion with our 3yo) escaped out the front door and ran down the road, laughing hysterically. Those little fuckers are fast, too.
ran down the road, laughing hysterically
Sounds like fun.
Preschool parent-teacher conference several years ago with the three teachers for the room my son was in, all attractive younger women. This was a fairly hippy-dippy sort of place, and among other things the kids were free to strip down to underwear at nap time when it was hot, which it usually was. But no further. And the teachers explain that my son had found it necessary to argue that point: "But my daddy sleeps naked!" Giggle giggle giggle. Thanks, kid.
96: it's all fun until the car hits the baby.
The digital camera had about two dozen pictures of me all passed out, variously wrapped in feather boas and scarves and pearls. She didn't remember taking any of those either.
apostropher = The Baby-Eating Bishop of Bath and Wells
It was like watching a chimp doing algebra. But the sheer willpower and concentration was amazing.
My nieces are both under 3 and I've seen this a lot, especially at the < 2 stage. Toddlers work really hard at acquiring new physical skills, they'd put any adult doing physio/rehab to shame.
What is the ambien stuff, and how do I get it prescribed?
You had sex NAKED?!?!
One of my favorite books is Transparent Things by Nabokov. There is a great passage about clothes being parted discretely, only so much as nature required. The woman would continue to chat on the phone with her friends while he did his business.
just to tie things together here, I had sex in the middle of a road one time, on account of the beatles song. it was the less-traveled road in a small village in cyprus, in the middle of the night. I didn't disrobe completely. basically one of those 'what was I thinking' moments. despite its being an obviously stupid idea, I didn't have any trouble talking the guy into it.
despite its being an obviously stupid idea, I didn't have any trouble talking the guy into it.
Surely this goes without saying.
re: 104
I've also done this. The road ran from outside a bar, through a graveyard and while quiet was a fairly well-used short-cut. People were walking past at the time. In the moment, it didn't seem to matter. Afterwards, pretty embarrassing.
105 is right.
Goddman good thing Alameida hadn't been listening to Helter-Skelter that time.
It was like watching a chimp doing algebra. But the sheer willpower and concentration was amazing.
I once watched my niece working to get her thumb in her mouth. She could suck her fingers, but it took awhile to get the more satisfying thumb in. Less than a year, maybe 6 months.
My grandnephew (almost 3) spent about twenty minutes learning to work a pair of plastic pliers (two-handed). He was very proud every time he got it right.
I had sex in the middle of a road one time, on account of the beatles song.
If a car had come along, it would have made a great "news of the offbeat" story.
And the tabloid copywriters surely would have intuited the connection to the Beatles song when thinking up a headline.
Goddman good thing Alameida hadn't been listening to Helter-Skelter that time
Or "Maxwell's Silver Hammer".
despite its being an obviously stupid idea, I didn't have any trouble talking the guy into it.
Surely this goes without saying.
Not sure about that.
22: Is that the standard now? Have we, at long last, no freedom left?
Posted by: ogged
This was unclear. What part are you objecting to, the idea that my boss would wander by without warning, and disapprove of seeing the picture at the linked article? I hate to break it to you, but not everyone has an office of their own. And my office might not be shirt-and-tie formal, but pictures like that actually are a wee bit unprofessional. Rule of thumb: if you couldn't use it for your screensaver or desktop wallpaper, it's not safe for work. The guy at the desk next to me has pictures of Darth Vader, the Three Stooges and the 2004 Red Sox in his screensaver, so for me at least, it isn't a very restrictive rule at all.
Or did you read my comment as saying "don't post stuff like this"? No, feel free, please continue -- go wild! -- just don't call it safe for work.
if you couldn't use it for your screensaver or desktop wallpaper, it's not safe for work
Does this one qualify?
LOL, yes. The reference isn't quite obvious, and it's just a burrito anyways.