Because I read the site using the comments RSS feed and the RSS feed only brings in the most recent 15 or so posts. When people comment on threads older than a few days, I don't see it until much later.
Actually, I'm not sure I care. Just happy to be fulfilling my role as an irritating Boston sports fan, one way or another.
I wonder if a lot of people do that. It would provide a less likely but more gratifying explanation for why nobody has been commenting in the other thread (my theory: nobody cares).
I don't see it until much later.
But isn't that doing you a favor, in this case?
I'm not sure I'm ever going to disentagle myself from the 8 billion tabs on algebraic topology and category theory TWFiMF has led me to open.
This Week's Finds in Mathematical Fizzics?
In more interesting news, I think my brother and I got cruised by the drunk Halloween couple we shared a cab with coming back from Navy Pier.
But I'm going to bed now so you don't get to ask about it. Neener neener.
6: my spelling has suffered from all this math. "This Week's Finds in Mystifying Functors" is totally what I meant.
7: wouldn't you know for sure? I mean, anonymous blowjobs aren't necessarily memorable, but they're usually notable.
Come on Papelbon. Do it for Michael Flatley.
Let's make jokes using terms from category theory.
Yo mamma's so functorial, when she sits around the house she bears the same relationship to the neighborhood as other things which also sit around the house.
Or algebraic topology.
Yo mamma's fundamental group is seriously non-trivial.
Yo mama's so ugly 'yo mama's face' -> 'a pile of dog shit' is defined as the identity morphism for the category Yomama.
Yo mama's so fat it takes N corrugations to complete a smooth inversion of yo mama, where N is the number of dollars yo mama made whoring herself out to chubby chasers over the period t to t+1.
If I get the math utterly wrong in these don't tell anybody, okay? I'm pretty much working off of wikipedia here.
What's the difference, between a morphism defined on a pair of the things yo mamma walks around on, and a morphism defined only on her peg-leg? Not much -- yo mamma is essentially a closed Cartesian category.
One out.
Yo mamma's so heavy, she can't be lifted into her own tangent bundle without professional assistance.
Hey, there we go.
Thanks for the fun times, Sifu.
Yo mama's defined so weakly her binary operation's not commutative.
Yo mamma's so bald, that it's possible to smoothly comb what remains in such a way that all her hair lies flat and no hairs stand straight on end.
And now I'm done.
That was pretty scary there for a little while.
We went to a whitewater kayaker party tonight, and the wife's outrigger racing teammate, who came with us, asked me, honestly, world series of what?
And yes, it was a costume party. I was indeterminate.
Men suck, by the way. In case anyone was wondering.
23: I hope the costume in question showed indeterminate cleavage.
(my theory: nobody cares).
Your co blogger already linked to the correct explanation.
Boston fans fail to grasp a standard rule of sports fandom, which is: Any team that wins a title that is not your team is fucking annoying. It doesn't matter how the other team won. They're not YOUR team, so they can eat a fat dick.
Men suck, by the way. In case anyone was wondering.
Is there a good story behind this comment? Spill it.
a standard rule of sports fandom, which is: Any team that wins a title that is not your team is fucking annoying.
See, this just isn't true. Firstly, any team that beats the Yankees does not annoy. Secondly, if one's team is in the shitter, no team's victory can annoy, unless it is the Yankees or a rival. Annoyance is in these cases is subsumed by self pity. Thirdly, a small market team cannot annoy. If Minnesota or Oakland were to win the series, more power to them. There are more, but they are minor.
I don't find teams annoying. I find fans of certain teams annoying - say Red Sox fans or Jets fans.
Excellent, everything is in place as I predicted at the meetup- Boston is up 3-0, now they will lose the next 4.
26, 29 -- Wah, wah, wah. Know what's more annoying that the fans of a winning team? People whose team isn't in the thing,* but who nonetheless whine about the winning team (or its fans). Know who doesn't care in the very least about someone whining about a winning team or its fans? Any fan of the winning team.
25 -- It's better for everyone when my clothing fails completely to bring the word 'cleavage' to mind. This is not the case for the wife's teammate, whose witch costume had every brain at the party silently screaming it.
* Yeah, no shame in actual Rockies fans talking a little smack, although it's maybe a little pathetic at this point. Yankees fans are irrepressible, when it comes to whining, and I think we can all understand that it's part of their character. But the misanthropes who don't even care about who wins, but just whine for the sake of being annoying -- they're basically birds chirping. Poo too weet . . .
asked me, honestly, world series of what?
Alas, I have been known to do this kind of thing. I try not to. It usually only happens if someone refers with irresponsible vagueness to the "semi-finals" or the "play-offs": unclear there, to me, which sport that would be. Way to set me up, I tell ya.
I want a story from Di about the sucking of men.
I also laughed heartily and aloud at the above Yo Mama jokes.
33: That's really more Labs' domain.
33: Blind date with Ogged? He didn't think I was smart enough?
I can confirm that Di Kotimy has told me that she is entirely too smart to date Ogged.
Randy Moss has unstoppable in this World Series, and Kobie has shown that he's well past his prime. End of story.
32: Parsimon; there really isn't any reason to feel badly about that. It's the sort of thing that matters a lot to one group of people, and not at all to anyone else.
unclear there, to me, which sport that would be
Only an idiot would draw an adverse inference from this sort of thing. The person who asked me the question is herself an athlete, but I couldn't tell the first thing about the sequence of events in her sport, or the hierarchy of competitive events. (There's a race in Molokai you have to qualify for, I think, but I know less about that than you do about the Orioles).
Apropos of expecting baseball knowledge and awareness:
It's a kind of traditional knowledge, once thought de rigour for Americans. Those anecdotes we were sharing last week about the passwords, the popular-culture phrases WWII soldiers were expected to be able to finish, to show they were Americans.
My impression is that that highly normative view of American culture was most descriptive of the period between WWI and the sixties, and has been waning ever since, as deviance has been more acceptable.
I think before 1917 and after the sixties, Americans have felt less social pressure to be on the same page.
41: I think the proportions of conformist-Americans to deviant-Americans is probably the same as it's always been, and it's just that the media is talking more about the deviant-Americans. Every social liberal who's been told over the last six years that "they aren't anti-war, they're just on the other side" is feeling plenty of social pressure to get on the same page, thank you.
I followed baseball very closely for about three days, three years ago while visiting Boston. Otherwise, no.
And this season I'm in a little no-prize NFL pickem pool at work (pick any team each week, but each team only once in the season), knowing essentially nothing about the teams, but grinding teams' stats through a little simulated annealing algorithm to adjust weighting coefficients in my game result predictor. Because I'm the kind of guy who laughs at those yo momma jokes above.
There's a typically stilted but cute Isaac Asimov mystery short story in which the Nazi spy is revealed not through his lack of knowledge of Americana ("Go Red Socks! Manny will score many touchdowns, nein?") but too much. The Kraut menace is tripped up by typical over-engineering; in this case, he knows this second and third verses of "The Star-Spangled Banner".
39. 40, 41:
Don't get me wrong: I don't feel terribly badly about not being tuned in to major team sports. If people think it's cute of me, I can deal with that.
As for this:
I know less about that than you do about the Orioles
Don't be so sure. I live in Baltimore and, uh, I know there was a guy named Cal Ripken, a pitcher, I think, retired now, I believe, but that's about it. Also their color is purple.
I think before 1917 and after the sixties, Americans have felt less social pressure to be on the same page.
Really?
The way in which I feel badly about the degree of my own cluelessness (which is not very bad, actually) is that I can see the day creeping up on me on which I'm the toothless old guy in the rocker on the porch, spitting chew-tobacker into the spittoon,* and noting either crankily or with equanimity that the passing crowd inhabits another reality altogether.
I want to have a choice, when that day comes, to join in or not. Which kinda means I need to at least know how to dial a cellphone, or, in the case of the discussion at hand, what the hell American Idol is.
No?
* That was my grandfather.
I live in Baltimore and, uh, I know there was a guy named Cal Ripken, a pitcher, I think, retired now, I believe, but that's about it. Also their color is purple.
I'm torn between wanting to believe in someone who writes thoughtful commentary on a daily basis, and my own vanity in not wanting to be taken in by such an obvious fraud.
Vanity be damned. If it's any help to you, the Orioles wear orange and black. Like an oriole. It's the Ravens who wear purple. Ripken played shortstop, and then, near the end of his career, 3rd base.
I'm not sure when or how you'll ever be able to deploy this nugget, but I can imagine that you'll be able to shock people used to your level of interest in sports to hear it come out of your mouth in some appropriate context. Before they came to Baltimore in the 1950s, the Orioles were the St. Louis Browns. Before they came to Baltimore in the late 1990s, the Ravens played in Cleveland. The Cleveland Browns.
* * * *
I was just checking on my alma mater's football standings. Lost again, to the Cheney gang. It could have been worse: our conference saw the highest scoring football game in NCAA history yesterday. Portland State scored 68 points and still lost. The athletic department did find a way to put a positive spin on it, though: The Vikings are now 5-1 in games in which two teams combined for 100 points.
Before they came to Baltimore in the 1950s, the Orioles were the St. Louis Browns. Before they came to Baltimore in the late 1990s, the Ravens played in Cleveland. The Cleveland Browns.
That's what Brown did for you, parsimon.
I hadn't known, until I looked it up, that the Cleveland Browns were named after Joe Louis. I had bought to Paul Brown theory.
Charley's 46:
I'm torn between wanting to believe in someone who writes thoughtful commentary on a daily basis, and my own vanity in not wanting to be taken in by such an obvious fraud.
You see. How bad it is. I thought Ripken was a pitcher. The purple ... of course. The signs I see on people's lawns (in purple) say "Go Ravens."
The truth is that I wasn't trying very hard to get that straight.
I think you might consider revising your original thought in 40 that only an idiot would draw an adverse inference from this sort of thing.
48: Charley, here is what I found with a bit of Googling. I've never heard the Joe Louis version.
The Cleveland Browns were founded in 1946 under owner Arthur McBride. The team was to be named the Cleveland Panthers, but a semi-pro team was using that name and threatened to sue if the AAFC club used it as well. McBride then named the team after its first head coach, Paul Brown. Brown was uncomfortable with the idea of having the team named after him, stating publicly that the team was named after boxing champion Joe Louis who was known as the "Brown Bomber ".
Rah rah Brunonia, rah rah Brunonia, Brown Brown Brown.
The Ravens name was sprung on the team rather by surprise -- the CFL team was the "Stallions", but apparently such a transparent nod to Irsay's fucking Colts wasn't tenable. I believe the new ownership wanted the team to be the Bombers (inshallah!), but "Ravens" whupped ass in a Baltimore Sun-sponsored poll. He's really a Virginian, all things considered, but Charm City has a real fondness for Poe.
Screw Cleveland.
Relatedly
As the Sox did to Cleveland, the Patriots are doing to the Washington football team. Only more so. Oof.
51: Snarkout, that's right, you're from this area. I've never heard of the Poe Toaster, but that may be a function of my being an immigrant here.
Baltimore is a city of nostalgia, really. It'd be interesting to discover just how many average people-on-the-street have ever heard of Mencken.
I had a lovely chat with a 60s-something woman at an opening last weekend, who told me that the new funky pizza/pub/hotspot across the street was not, contrary to opinion, an ex-brothel, but was, back in the day, a very popular crabhouse. She wanted to remember its name, but could not. Frustrating.
The wiki version:
A fan contest was conducted to determine the name of the team, with the most popular choice being "Panthers." However, Brown objected to the name after finding out it had been used by a semipro team in the city--one that had a reputation as a chronic loser. This prompted a second contest to choose a name befitting a champion. The Browns say this contest yielded the nickname "Brown Bombers"--after reigning heavyweight champion Joe Louis--and was shortened to "Browns" for the convenience of headline writers. However, to this day, rumors persist that the team was named after Paul Brown himself.
Inquiring minds having been deprived of Di's version of how men suck, perhaps Cala will favor us with how Cleveland sucks.
Hey, a sports thread. I just spent the weekend in State College, PA, watching the Nittany Lions get badly abused by a team whose mascot is an inedible nut. Not that I care particularly, but Buck was sad.
Inquiring minds having been deprived of Di's version of how men suck, perhaps Cala will favor us with how Cleveland sucks.
In lieu of Cala, I will note that I was at Game 5 and therefore know full well how Cleveland sucks.
27, 33, 55: Okay, rude of me to throw that out there without being prepared to back it up. And while an unprecedented surge of good judgment sadly precludes me from telling that story, I will throw out a kinder, gentler "men are such dorks" tale instead, as my penance.
Last week, I'm racing around trying to get things done when the boss/mentor beckons me into his office. "I have to tell you the good news."
I'm thinking we won a case, maybe?
"About which of the new associates I am asigning to work with you on the X project."
Now I'm confused. I am not imagining why I would care one way or the other -- most of the new associates seem equally pleasant to work with. He tells me the name and I blink incomprehendingly. "Okay, is he better than the other new associates?"
The boss/mentor looks at me with almost pity for not getting it, "You know, he's the hot young stud...?"
Um, okay. How thoughtful? (Prize to the person who can correctly identify the number of levels on which this is wrong.)
59: That's just odd. What, he thought that a non-sexist way of interacting with women lawyers was to bond with them over the joys of thinking about sexually harassing their juniors?
Liz, it's only harassment if the attention is unwelcome.
62: junior's gay, though. That's what Di meant about "the number of levels."
OK, I shouldn't joke about this sort of thing.
It's really amazing how many people haven't gotten the memo about how to interact with fellow professionals.
I had a boss who had a crush on me once, but she was polite and I was oblivious, so it worked out fine.
I just spent the weekend in State College, PA
Having spent 4 years of my life there, I am so, so, so sorry.
What, he thought that a non-sexist way of interacting with women lawyers was to bond with them over the joys of thinking about sexually harassing their juniors?
If you want the rights of power, you have to accept the responsibilities, LB. The hot young studs aren't going to harass themselves. (Not at work, anyway.)
Oh, it's a perfectly nice town. The game was kind of intimidating, though -- fields of tailgating RVs as far as the eye could see; fans who appeared to have rehearsed cheers and coordinated clothing choices in whole sections of the stadium (the student section was dressed uniformly in white, but flawlessly so. No one screwed up and showed up in the blue sweatshirt). And the marching band was spectacular.
62: Well, sure, I think it's a given that any red-blooded fella in his right mind would welcome my attentions eagerly. And yet...
I have a technical non-sports, non-harassment question. I have a gas stove. I'm getting altogether too much black stuff on the bottom of my pots and pans. Am I supposed to adjust the mixture or something?
59 feels familiar. Back at Nerd U, I was close frenemies with an extraordinarily handsome dickwad. Our relationship was very strange and fraught, and based on a lot of weird stuff I never fully understood, but it wasn't like either of us was trying to date the other. But two years into it, one of my male profs pulled me aside and said everyone knew why I spent so much time with him, wink wink. I clarified, "Oh, no, we're not dating; we just go to the gym together and stuff." He responded, "Yeah, we all know why you want to see him at the gym (wink wink)." I later realized no one really spent much time thinking about his work as a graduate student because they all assumed he was getting by on his looks. I thought only gorgeous women had to deal with that crap, but, alas, it seems everyone does.
70: I think that's right. What color is the flame? All blue, or some orange and yellow?
Let's go Na-va-jo! Let's go Na-va-jo! (see? It's a double)
(If you think I'm not hijacking this back to baseball you got another think coming)
but, alas, it seems everyone does
Just when I think there's some category where I might not be the oppressor, you throw the privilege that comes with not being beautiful in my face.
68: They must have improved the cheers since I left; the only one of note during my time was "We are... Penn State." Kinda cool when you get 45K people chanting each half, but still.
Had you never been to a major college game before, though?
Nope. Don't plan to again -- any interest the occasion had was purely anthropological. (Oh, I hurt my throat screaming, but that appeared to be required by the spirit of the event.) "We are... Penn State" was the big one, but there were some other call and response things -- some bit of music would get played, and the stands would yell P... S... U.... Nothing too complicated, but the uniformity was impressive.
76: Huh. I was going to guess it was burning too cool because the air mixture was off, and that was giving you a sootier flame from unburnt carbon. But now I don't know. I suppose the stove doesn't have a manual, does it?
71: Maybe that's why he was hanging with you. My second time around in college I befriended at least three of sort of amusing lowlifes, and regretted it when I found that at least one of them was a genuine creep who was using me to build up his credibility.
1-0? The Patriots would be up 30 by now.
LB: Meet Berube? He and the football team are joined at the hip. The hockey BS is a ruse.
I believe that the Penn State stadium will be named Berube Stadium once he retires or dies, whichever comes first. Many player have little Berube icons in their lockers, especially the down linemen and the nickelbacks.
Let's go Na-va-jo!
Somehow it escaped me until last night that Ellsbury is Navajo. Because he's from Oregon, his presence in the Series has insured big front-page coverage from the local paper. This place is provincial in the extreme.
Damn, Lowell is slow. But fast enough, apparently.
Lester's batting prowess reminds me of a line from William Kennedy, something like 'screwing your wife is like striking out the pitcher.'
70:
I have a gas stove. I'm getting altogether too much black stuff on the bottom of my pots and pans.
Charley, that's weird. IANAFlameExpert, but the blue flame you get should be the cleanest flame you're going to get.
(I wish I had a gas stove again!)
83: oh sure, you try batting after cancer.
Batting after cancer, blogging after cancer, whatever. No excuses.
I bet ogged would've laid down that bunt, shortly before dying of old age.
86 notwithstanding, 5 shut-out innings, only 80 pitches, in a clinching World Series game &mdash after cancer? You go, survivor.
Sports chants have recently been bringing back the memory of that of a rival high school, Lick Wilmerding.
The chant was inevitable. "Lick my left, lick my right, lick my, lick my Wilmerding." Oddly, it was their fans who sung it, not their enemies.
Charley:
You need to add some lighter fluid directly to the flame. That should clear things out quickly.
If you dont have any lighter fluid, spray some aerosal directly toward the flame.
it was their fans who sung it, not their enemies
I know someone who went there. I think the idea behind the chant was pre-emption (or preëmption, as some might prefer).
Their teams were even worse than ours, if I recall correctly.
Lester: 1! Sox: 3! Colorado, Cancer: 0!
The Sox are clearly putting this one to bed shortly, so everyone go check out the pic I finally posted of my new glasses.
They make your skin look a little weird, Kraab.
I love the upward sweep of the glasses on the upper outsides. Good choice.
What did everyone else do for Halloween?
99: Packed my house to the rafters with half of DC. Also: got drunk.
I did: not a fucking thing! It was great!
Halloween bugs me.
Huh, I wondered why everyone was dressed up last night. I thought Halloween was later.
It's technically Wednesday, but you know these kids with their working for the weekend. Also, in oggedville Halloween tends to last about a week and a half.
Went to a very refined academic-type party and got wicked drunk and made out with everyone.
Why is "God Bless America" considered a more patriotic song than "Take Me Out to the Ball Game?"
100: Where are the pictures?!
104: Where are the pictures?!
106: Those pictures, thank God in heaven, do not exist. I have the memories to comfort my lonely nights.
I worked and worked and worked and worked.
,a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/tags/fickeween/">Photos.
Breaking News 10:42 PM ET:
Alex Rodriguez Opts Out of Contract With Yankees, His Agent Says
This has been one hell of a wild World Series for Boston, I tell you.
Damnit, Ficke and AWB, this blog is for shut-in geeks. Stop bragging about your social conquests.
Although 104 makes me think it's truly vital to get AWB to UnfoggeDCon. If that's what she does at a "very refined" party...
I loathe the addition of "God Bless America" to the seventh inning stretch. I sit through it sullenly and then bounce to my feet for "Take Me Out to the Ballgame."
Have the Rockies ever led a game in this Series? For even one single second?
I was Wayne Cambell with a few other Waynes and Garths. We went to The Gasworks. This band Crucial Taunt was there - they totally wailed - and the lead singer was this mega-babe, Cassandra. She will be mine. Oh yes, she will be mine.
Are we counting yesterday as Halloween? Got up at 4:30 am to get Keegan to another 6 am hockey game in Raleigh. Friends came over that evening for dinner and it happened to be the weekend of their 15th anniversary, so we opened a nice '99 Barolo in celebration.
Other than that? Laundry.
112: I agree, but you have to apply your English-prof skills to interpreting God Bless America. There's a strain of real anxiety there...America is lost in the night and needs guidance. I couldn't agree more.
Also, it helps to remember that it was written by a Jewish recent immigrant.
114: Birth Pangs of Democracy! Great costume.
111: I would like to say that although I was one of the first two people involved in the making-out, that I was the subject. I am very paranoid about my constant desire to make out and how that may appear to others as "sexual assault."
I'm so jealous that I missed the DC Halloween party !!1! While I take much delight in pwning my brother in putt putt on Navy Pier it's JUST NOT THE SAME.
117: Whoops! I mean I was the object, not the subject. Ha. Ha ha. Hm.
117: Maybe you should go to Samoa with the Peace Corps. The Samoans are very open-minded, according to Margaret Mead.
Well, I made out some last week, so that's something.
a nice '99 Barolo in celebration
99 would be a little young for a really nice Barolo, no?
All I learned from it is that I should be making out a great deal more and then I wouldn't whine so much about not getting laid.
If they have to do a patriotic song in the 7th inning (because apparently the Star Spangled Banner to start the game isn't enough), I think "This Land is Your Land" would be a hell of a lot funner to sing. Woodie Guthrie wrote that song because he didn't care for "God Bless America" either.
124: making out is always recommended.
BTW, my sister says that her sociopath Hawaiian Portuguese husband slept with his 9th grade English teacher, and that his mother bragged about. That's why so many H.S. proms have a Pacific Islands theme.
Fickeween was fantastic. In fact, this whole weekend was rather fruitful.
114: Fantastiche! Great, great costumes. I fucking hate you all. Especially Doom. I don't know why I love that costume--there were so many other clever ones--but I really, really do. Gawd, I think I'd just wear that around the house. (Also love the bird, which took me a minute.)
This is the Halloween/makeout thread, Sifu.
Nonsense. Fuck Halloween. Go sox!
I am not at liberty to describe my antics. The blogosphere has wormed its tentacles, lo, even into the most depraved ventricles of my heart.
That is, go 'head, Smasher. Use lots of adjectives.
BTW, I expected more from the Art Guy's costume, 'Smasher.
My red sox-watching-related antics have been just utterly antic, boy.
She's not interested in you, Sifu! She wants lurid words describing that soft sucking ploppy sound wet kisses make! Febrile adjectives!
Antics? Beyond pining after my ex at the party?
I spent yesterday working on a painting of flaming meteors falling into a lily pond. But Wednesday I will be a banshee, or Yoko Ono; same costume, same scream.
Here is a headline after which no more internet is needed: Mysterious Tunguska explosion of 1908 in Siberia may be linked to Tesla's experiments of wireless transmission".
Blogosphere worming its tentacles.
Oh, sorry Smasher. "Fruitful" sounded promising, antics-wise.
142: I'm not sure I'd describe the Red Sox as a "she," exactly.
They can always bring Gagne in, to give the Rockies a chance.
99 would be a little young for a really nice Barolo, no?
Probably a year or two early, but we decanted it for about 45 minutes first, and it was lovely. A Luciano Sandrone Le Vigne, for those of you keeping score at home.
we decanted it for about 45 minutes first
That is one slow pour, dude.
O-KA-JI-MA! C'mon buddy.
Holy fucking christ Gagne is warming up? What is wrong with the world?
Holy fuck, Gagne is getting loose in the bullpen.
148 would be brilliant. So far this is the most boring world series since, well, since the Cardinals won last year. But its very boring. SOMETHING has to happen to bring the Rockies into it....
I'm beginning to think maybe the Rockies are, like, not that good a baseball team. Dunno for sure, though.
156: 900-foot Jesus has abandoned them.
156: But their manager is named Clint Hurdle. Clint Hurdle! So they've got that going for them.
The Rockies are big, fat choke artists is what they are.
158: You are an innocent moose, sir!
157: I just hope they don't send the Air Force Academy after Boston.
Guilty moose don't go to Halloween parties.
That Hokusai was unexpected. So too was a painting by Claude Lorrain on the Wiki page for "mercantilism" —a surprise as I was just recently reading a biography in which he played a prominent role. I am happy to describe the entrepreneurial and technical innovations of his Liber Veritatis but, alas, am not really at liberty to discuss antics. I did see my ex and her costume did totally middleschool me.
Okay, now put Gagne in.
AUGH DYING DYING AUGH THE TERROR AAAAHSDOIPSKDPOKSGF PFLURT.
No need to worry. Remember Sifu, you are the Yankees now.
Chokajima. Still ahead, though.
Fucking 156 jinxed us the fuck up.
168: not following. That's fine, though. How are you?
170: nooooo can't be. Definitely doesn't fit the criteria.
Even with Gagne on their side, nothing the Rockies have done this series makes me think they can pull this off....
They should bring in Randy Moss to pitch the 9th.
I bet he'd be an awesome pitcher.
171: I meant, you are no longer the pre-2004 Red Sox that always blow things at the end of games. Now you are the Red Sox who bestride the baseball world like a colossus, the new Evil Empire. No need to worry.
Did you see that Brady got bored with throwing touchdowns today and just ran two in himself?
THREE MORE OUTS.
Stress, stress, stress.
177: What with throwing exactly 3 touchdowns and just over 300 yards, I think he's bored with this and decided to just keep racking up yards and points only long enough to keep setting new consecutive games performance records.
182: my favorite play today was Matt Fucking Cassel running in a touchdown. Sure, why not?
Next week, I'll get to watch Raiders/Texans while Pats/Colts is broadcast in the rest of the country. Bet you're jealous.
185: boy do I not miss that. You could, like, go to a bar?
Man I'd like to see a run right now.
Y'know Washington had the 5th ranked defense in the NFL, and the Pats hung 52 points on them. What do you think the spread will be when they go to Buffalo? 80? 90?
I like how they're gradually ramping up the number of points they score per game. It's pretty elegant.
161 -- My costume was too subtle for the author. I'm not a moose.
190: At least you don't have Timbot ragging on you.
The Sox owner with his fingers in his ears the other night, and the earplugs tonight is the very picture of the different rich.
YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAH LETS GO NA-VA-JO@#$@$!@#!$@!$@!$@
FUCK YEAH!!1!1!1!!!!11!111!11!!
That was appropriate. Congrats, Sox fans.
FUCK!!!!
Thanks for nothing Rockies. You suck.
BGRHTEHDHRTHTRHRTDHRTTHRTDDRHTDHRTDHRTDHRTDTHRDHTRHTDRDTRHTHRDDJRYNUTETRYHBRTU6JM7YBTGYRH M756GTR6Y45GRT4E6RV BFGHNTYRG
Baseball is over! Baseball is over!!! Woo hoo!
Tek can barely talk!
Thanks 'Smasher!#!@#!@
Thanks, brother 'Smasher. Papelbon looks like he's about to collapse.
Fucking Apo. Congrats on the No. 1 ranking, btw.
You know what? I miss baseball already.
Who are those guys in the yellow jackets who run out while everyone is jumping around after winning?
Ellsbury is adorable. Fuckin' September callup! Awesome. Take that, racist-mascotted teams. Boston has your number, as unlikely as that sounds!
Congrats on the No. 1 ranking, btw.
Can't say as I had much to do with it.
215: c'mon now, you don't win adorable baby contests just on luck.
as unlikely as that sounds
Yeah, what a turnaround.
215: Don't kid a kidder. If ever there was a Hospitality Guy for potential recruits, it's you. The wine, the moon, the romance....
LOWELL!!!!! MVP! MVP! MVP! MVP!!!!#!!##!#!
Where's IA? No one knows how to express happiness and appreciation anymore. It's all "incredible" and "amazing."
Eternal curses be upon this team if they dump Lowell for A-Rod.
221: What would you know about happiness, Shi'a? Maybe "incredible" and "amazing" are the only appropriate words.
221: blissful! Numinous! Excruciating awesomeness!
222: no way never happen. Now, Lugo should maybe look over his shoulder.
What would you know about happiness, Shi'a?
You think I've never seen an enemy die?
Now, Lugo should maybe look over his shoulder.
True that. Still, A-Rod. Ew.
226: other than the fact that he's the best player in baseball I guess I see what you mean. C'mon, the guy likes Pet Benatar!
208: Very. He looked coked up during last night's interview too.
Yeah, but what a douchebag. Oops &mdash the laydeez aren't still around, are they?
You think I've never seen an enemy die?
And what did you say when you saw the life leak out of his eyes? "Awesome."
194: I'm watching the end of the game on tivo now. And one does get the sense that Henry puts on gloves before patting the players on the back: "Good show muscular Negro to whom I pay a great deal of money. Good show."
Kenmore Square on the TV. Rise up and accept your crown, Massholes! The world is yours!
The second time Henry feebly raised his fist, the vibe was very Montgomery Burns.
234: Indeed. He'd relish releasing the hounds if Manny ever showed up at his house. Not that Manny would get by the private security. Or could even find the way, come to think of it.
I like how they're gradually ramping up the number of points they score per game. It's pretty elegant.
I had to laugh at the "fuck it, let's go for it" on the 4th and 1. Hey, when you're only up by 38...
Jonathan Papelbon, on the other hand, is a man of the people.
my sister says that her sociopath Hawaiian Portuguese husband slept with his 9th grade English teacher
A couple of years ago, the Hawaii legislature raised the age of consent from 13 to (I think) 16, and they had to override the Filipino-American governor's veto to pass it into law.
You have to do something to protect the haole 9th-grade teachers. Some poor thing comes in from a rural Kansas normal school, and BOOM! -- instant hapa.
The whole stupid city of Boston is stepping on Randy Moss's glory, with their stupid "teams" of nameless, selfless "baseball" and "football" players. Boston's role is to give Moss the support that Oakland and Minnesota failed to give. These "Red Sox" are an enormous distraction from the real work.
Every time I see Papelbon's game face, I feel like he's got half a rack of insurance salesman marinating back at the hotel and the sooner he ends the game, the sooner he gets dinner.
Ellsbury's family is apparently from the Colorado River Reservation. I didn't know there were Navajos over there.
What would we do without wikipedia vandalism?
Papelbon was a three-time butt toucher, All-City homo while playing high school for Bishop Kenny High School.[3]
And:
Papelbon was named as one of the 10 douchiest people for the "DHL Presents the Major League Baseball Delivery Man of the Year Award."
I love how the entry keeps getting changed. The opening sentence is "melissa is wayyyyy cooler(born November 23, 1980 in Baton Rouge, Louisiana) is the closer for the Cleveland Indians" at the moment. The sentence referenced in 244 is still there, undoubtedly out of respect for its genius.
I have been trying to get on the All-City Homo squad for years, man.
Gotta work on your butt touching, dude. Helps to have a good slider too, I think.
I tried all summer long on my softball team, but the guys said it was too queer when chicks do it.
Seems like "too queer" is exactly what you're shooting for to make the All-City Homo squad.
Women are barred from many of the events in the All-City Homolympics, including the entire gay chicken decathlon, because of their unfair physical advantages.
It's true. We pwn at gay chicken.