Threadjack! I had a meeting with a female colleague today who has evidently recently had a prominent mole removed from her face. She's kind of average looking--not ugly, not beautiful--but the mole really detracted from her appearance and she looks *a lot* better now.
We work in different offices, so I don't see her often, but we get along quite well when we do.
Is there a tactful way to give a compliment like this? My instinct is to say "no", so I have said nothing. FWIW, she had the thing for a long time and never did anything about it, so it's possible that she had it removed for health reasons rather than aesthetic ones. OTOH, she really does look a lot better. Should I go with the "misdirection compliment" like "Did you lose weight?" or "Do you have a new hairstyle?".
Is there a tactful way to give a compliment like this?
Poke her on Facebook, duh!
I say say nothing. She probably knows she looks a lot better, and if she does, is receiving plenty of compliments from people close to her who talked with her about the removal before it actually happened.
Can we stop with the threadjacking on the first comment?
And I'm sorry if that was snippy to KR. I've just noticed a handful of threads getting jacked really early lately. If you have a blatant threadjack, please put it either in a thread that is active but maybe tapering off or Ask The Mineshaft if it's a question that other people might find especially interesting.
KR's mole etiquette dilemma is much more interesting than facebook.
KR, don't make up some bullshit "have you lost weight" question (after all, you don't want to feed the Fat Chicks Are Ugly nonsense). Either mind your own beeswax or say, "you look great lately, btw," or something like, "you look different, somehow. I dunno what you did, but you look great."
'Course you gotta be prepared to have her say "I had that HUGE HAIRY MOLE removed, dumbass." I recommend the "you caught me" laugh.
On FB, the notification emails are kind of annoying, but surely the entire point of FB is to fool around online, so, well.
Create a "Doesn't X Look Better Now That She Got That Fugly Mole Removed" group on Facebook. Then when it has a sufficient number of members (or when she joins), leave the group.
I may have mentioned this before but... My sisters got into a huge tiff over Facebook. My youngest sister won't "friend" the older one, because she doesn't want the older one to be able to see her profile (probably because she's worried the older one will run to mom if her message is 'out getting high'). So calasistheyounger calls mom and complains that calasistheyoungest isn't friending her, and that's, like a huge insult, because, you friend everyone, even people you don't know that well, and this is my sister.
This ends as these tales all do, with my mother calling me and wanting to know what they're talking about and which one is right.
I'm intrigued by mole removal in general, just because it plays a part in an overly complicated and no doubt fruitless scheme of mine to get my nephew off Crazy Jesus.
Social network sites; where your data goes to die.
OMG, Cala, your sister complained to mom about not being friended on FB????
How old is she? Please say she's like, 12.
wanting to know what they're talking about and which one is right
Well, which one is right?
I think I told my mother 'fuck if I know', got chastised for swearing, and told the older younger sis to get over it and the younger one she was being a bit of a dick.
The logo my "College Class of 2011" group chose after a Virginia Tech ribbon: "College is quite possibly the pimpest place on earth."
The time it took to switch: Two weeks.
17: I swear this is a big Catholic family thing. Mr. B.'s sisters have the same kind of constant interaction/collaboration thing going on about the craziest stuff. I admit that I don't get it at all and that it drives me batshit.
Facebook and data-mining, via a friend on... Facebook.
OMG DS WHY HAVEN'T YOU FRIENDED ME I'M TELLING OGGED.
Can't have you telling Ogged when I'm getting high, sorry.
I thought all the comments to all the posts here were one big threadjack.
Dammit, I want John Edwards to be president.
19: It's worse now that they all have cell phones. I mean, good in some ways. We're all very close. But it does mean that a) I hear both sides of all arguments and b) it's not uncommon to get a call from a little sister about random things, like which resume paper she should buy or how to do her makeup for an interview.
20: Holy crap. That's a good little PSA.
24: Me too. Does he have a chance? And if so, how can we make it better?
25: Wait until they all start talking with each other about what they think of your marriage. She says, pissily.
Does he have a chance? And if so, how can we make it better?
Yes. And seriously? Go campaign door-to-door in Iowa.
My wife refers to her sisters (three) as "the circuit". Gossip and judgement are for breakfast, snark for lunch, with a little bitter resentment for a snack.
28: When *is* the Iowa primary? Is it after Thanksgiving and/or Christmas break?
My sisters and nieces in the area collaborate on lots and lots of stuff and bicker about some stuff.
29: Wherever two or more women gather, some poor bastard is in a great deal of trouble.
30: There is no Iowa primary. The caucuses are 1/14.
20 - That's so strange. One of the companies mentioned (BB/N) is the one my Dad worked for his entire career. They were originally an acoustics firm, and Dad's worked on aircraft noise issues his whole life. But the acoustics got them into signal detection, and that brought them defense work. And they made ARPANET, of course. My Dad has had email since the eighties. By the time Verizon bought BB/N, BB/N was primarily an internet company, with a very small vestigial acoustics office in LA.
Verizon had no interest in running a small acoustics office, told my Dad to take all their aircraft noise contracts with him and go (with a nice severance). But I will always think of BB/N as an acoustics firm (that's all I ever saw them do), and I get surprised at these mentions of BB/N involvement in internet surveillance.
33: Got it.
So who wants to go out there over Tgiving or Xmas break and campaign for Edwards with me? Slol?
This whole "primaries being moved up" thing sucks for volunteering. I want to go do something in New Hampshire but damn am I booked through December and November with family and holiday related stuff. I bet I'm not the only one.
And I know that if I were really hard-core I'd go over Thanksgiving or Xmas break like B says above but, dude, my mother would kill me.
33: The caucuses are 1/14.
The caucuses are 1/3.
35, 36, 38: And this is where work, once again, sucks. Sure it brings in cash, but college really sets you up to want 10 weeks of vacation time a year.
I'm even within bussing distance of Iowa, but can't really go down there to volunteer because of the week or two minimum time commitment.
The caucuses are 1/3.
D'oh! The caucuses *used to be* 1/14, before the early scheduling orgy began.
Iowa probably isn't where you're needed, though. It's New Hampshire and Nevada.
38: Why does your mother hate America, Becks?
Becks' mother doesn't hate America. She just likes killin'.
41: Bring them with! A real American Christmas!
Nevada's easy enough. *Sigh*. I suppose I should start paying attention to the horserace part of this whole thing and figure out what to do.
Also I should send a check and get my husband to stop spending so much time backing stupid Obama.
42 about being needed in NH & NV--possibly SC too--moreso than IA. Practically speaking, it's a big Edwards/Clinton/Obama mashup here. I doubt there'll be a real frontrunner to come out of this state among the three, though Obama could tank thanks to the holiday.
42 is probably right about being needed...
Becks' mother doesn't hate America. She just likes killin'.
Awesome.
Obama could tank thanks to the holiday
I'm not catching the reference here.
and get my husband to stop spending so much time backing stupid Obama.
Nooooooo!
though Obama could tank thanks to the holiday
Please explain.
I thought all the comments to all the posts here were one big threadjack.
Sometimes, yeah, and plenty of us are guilty of it. But Becks is right, it would be a bit more civil to try to at least show a little respect for the poster/each other by not immediately going off-topic.
I can't believe we're spending so much time fretting over civility these days.
It's all Ogged's fault for introducing the Miss Congeniality contest in the first place.
it would be a bit more civil to try to at least show a little respect for the poster
These are dark days.
34 is interesting. I'm always curious about the trajectories taken by companies involved in this sort of thing.
And growing darkier and darkier with each passing moment.
I can't believe we're spending so much time fretting over civility these days.
My institutional memory is not so long as some, but I thought fairly recently you were yourself expressing some concerns along these lines. Or are you just trolling?
I didn't mean to be vague, and "tank" was probably more than I meant. A lot of Obama's supporters in Iowa are young, college-aged. It's not everyone, obviously, but students are already a difficult group to rely on; moreover, the deeper into winter break the caucus is, the fewer students will be around to actually caucus.
"Virginia Tech is in the Wahoos Hearts Forever,"
What a stupid group.
I should do a Mineshaft question:
When my son tries to tell me that Va Tech isn't so bad, should I beat him or just mock him?
"Virginia Tech is in the Wahoos Hearts Forever,"
I suspect that a random slaughter at Duke would not spawn a similar UNC-based group.
56: You might want to use sunscreen.
57: Nah, that was me bitching about people bitching about my incivility. Also, yes, trolling.
(In seriousness, I think there's a diff between "stop picking on me, personally, quite so much kthx" and "we must all obey certain rules." But even I realize that I'm being kind of an asshole by saying this.)
Nah, that was me bitching about people bitching about my incivility. Also, yes, trolling.
Ah, yes. That was a great e-brawl. Good ole' days.
Here's Adam Nagourney speculating about O & the younguns. He's right about there always being a lot of young people at O's events. Even at the Johnson County Democratic Party barbecue last month, where Forest Whitaker spoke for him, students--and Iowa City's mayor--made up a significant portion of the O crowd.
See, influential blogs start talking about "comity", and the idea filters up to Obama, and then he gets this dream of getting the homophobes and faggots all under the same tent singing Kumbaya and hugging and kissing (in a nonsexual way in most cases, and no tongue) and then boom! President Obama looks into Osama's eyes and sees his soul.
Osama does have the mellow, mournful spiritual stoner look down cold.
62: Nah, I completely agree that there's a huge difference between 'Hey, quit it' and 'You're violating a standard.'
34: Yeah, companies morph in strange ways. My best friend through high-school was the son of one of the owners of Dy/na-Em/pire-Em/pire Sci/entific. At the time they were into acoustical sensors for the navy and had an awesome anechoic chamber. We spent countless hours tinkering with electronics scrounged from their labs.
Then they got into hi-fi and stereo gear, and now they deal in batteries and aircraft spare parts.
Nah, I completely agree that there's a huge difference between 'Hey, quit it' and 'You're violating a standard.'
Agreed.
I wish I had spent hours tinkering with scrounged electronics.
I'm not trying to enforce something with, say, the weight of the analogy ban. It's just that there are a lot of newcomers lately and, because our threads tend to drift or change topics altogether, some people might not have picked up that people traditionally try to wait for lulls in the conversation before abruptly changing the topic. It's one thing for a thread to gradually drift but I feel it's polite to at least give a thread a little while to play out before changing it to something else entirely. If anything, just because it's clearer to people reading the site when threads have at least at some point for some length of time corresponded to the post.
Huh. So, after how many comments is it permissible to post something not directly in response to the post? I'd hate to come in for a scolding.
On topic: I totally agree with those Facebook rules.
Inevitable response to 71: "Threadjack!" becomes the Mineshaft equivalent of "First!" on every thread hereafter.
people traditionally try to wait for lulls in the conversation before abruptly changing the topic
They do?
How does volunteering for campaigns outside of one's home state work, anyway?
10. Finally, look: enough with the Poking. If you want to fuck, then, for Pete's sake, man up and just say so.
Awesome.
20,34 BBN did get its start right after World War II as an acoustic start-up. Some profs from MIT - pretty sure it grew out of some sonar work during the war.
They were a very early leader on the Internet. (Per this list they were #2 with a .com registration after Symbolics. ...looking at the list one thinks it not so great to be too early of a mover.) Government contracts of all manner were always their meat and potatoes.
74: You can at least do door-to-door type stuff. I know Mr. B. did for Kerry in the last election by driving down to Ohio. 'Course that was get-out-the-vote time, but I'm sure all you'd have to do would be get in touch with state organizers in Nevada (say) and tell them you can be there from x-y date and do they want you?
Based on Mr. B.'s Obama work, the door-to-door crap is the hardest thing to get people to volunteer for. Also, phoning. It's boring and time-consuming and it sucks, but it needs to get done, and it's really easy to do as an out-of-stater or for a limited time period.
Both the door-to-door and phoning is the stuff I'd like to think I could do, but being not so - that is, not at all - outgoing makes me wonder if I'd be any good at it. I suppose it's one of those things you learn by doing, but that doesn't mean everyone who does it learns it.
77: I just mean, what kind of arrangements do people make. It wouldn't occur to me to just show up at a campaign office and say "anything I can do for the next x days?" but I guess that's what some people do.
And since I am now the sole inhabitant of this thread, I'll note that the Edwards ad from 24 is much more inspiring in word than in picture. Probably good that I won't be making decisions based on ads.
I'm intrigued by mole removal in general, just because it plays a part in an overly complicated and no doubt fruitless scheme of mine to get my nephew off Crazy Jesus.
Can I know just a little more about this? It's going to be bugging me later if I don't ask.
That's a good ad in 24, even though I first read it as Dammit, I want John Emerson to be president.
.
I won't be making decisions based on ads.
Do any of the candidates eat their ear wax?
I didn't like the ad. Only white people are heroes in that ad (possible exception of woman pouring coffee). The concept was good, though.
Only white people are heroes in that ad
Iowa: 2.1% black, 2.8% Hispanic, 1.3% Asian.
83: I did before, but the introduction of the grunge and wino dress code categories seals it.
80: I think you call the campaign hq for the state up and ask. If you need a place to stay while you're helping (during, say, a busy time), they'll probably be willing to arrange that for you--also driving you around to neighborhoods to do canvassing or whatever. You don't just show up, you call, offer, and ask them to help you make arrangements, though you might end up picking up the tab of a hotel room and rental car yourself if you can, to save them the hassle.
I hear you about the not-outgoing stuff. One of the things Mr. B.'s doing a lot of on the Obama campaign is making walking maps for canvassers--I think it's called "cutting turf." That's something you might could do both long-distance and without actually interacting with people much, and it's hellaciously time-consuming.
I noticed that, Megan. Is this an Iowa ad, where there are only white people, or something? I liked his speech in it, but how old white-guy farmers still represent "America" pisses me off.
85 is part of what bothered me about the ad's imagery, but 86 is why I figured it looked that way.
Re: the everyday heroes angle. I find it difficult not to think of Stephen Colbert's mockery of that concept.
Not saying it's not an effective ad, though.
From the link in 84:
"All of us in public and private life I'm sure would wish our behavior to be more ideal," he told reporters, declining to comment further.
Ideal?!? I think surely he means "less embarrassing." Is "not eating earwax" up there with "not hiring hookers or soliciting sex in public restrooms" these days?
89: Mmm, I don't know. Do we have to resent the retired rural old folks (many of whom are poor as shit)?
I agree that it would be great to broaden the popular perception of "real America," but I'm not going to get pissed off at Edwards, who I think really actually *does* want to do things that will help the poor immigrant moms and the bluecollar black factory workers, for employing the "safe" images in a political ad.
Is this an Iowa ad, where there are only white people
Precisely. He isn't selling wireless broadband routers.
I guess it's just a reflection of the sad realities of the primary schedule that when you go to Edwards' website and click on states, only 4 are mentioned: New Hampshire, Iowa, Nevada, South Carolina.
Not resent, B, but I think there's a fetishization of farmers that has nothing to do with helping them. GWB and his ilk have been eating on farm imagery for decades, despite making their lives hell. But for an Iowa ad, sure, I can see why he's doing it.
My apologies to Becks for the untoward threadjacking. I find her irritation understandable and her counsel sensible.
That said, I will state for the record that some of the greatest comments on the site have been the ones where some genius (usually Apo) manages to unify three or four disparate topics from one thread with a single witticism and/or link, a feat that can only be acommplished with a certain amount of lawless drifting from the topic.
96: Of course there is. But it is what it is (and it isn't so much farmers per se as the association of rural + older--the idea is surely to make Iowa suburban voters think of their grandparents, not so much themselves); Edwards is using existing imagery, rather than challenging it, but his job is to get elected, not to create progressive ads.
On-topic: Scrabulous is the only truly great Facebook app. Discuss.
I'm always curious about the trajectories taken by companies involved in this sort of thing
the grand doozy of these stories is CACI Corp, which started off in 1962 as a venture of Harry Markowitz (later to win the Nobel Prize in Economics for portfolio theory) to commercialise a simulation programming language he'd invented and gradually, defence contract by defence contract, reached the stage in 2004 where its employees were involved in the prisoner abuse scandal in Abu Ghraib.
97: But to answer your question: she'll sense your approval by the fact that you've stopped pointing and screaming MOLE! every time she walks into a room, so you don't need to say anything specific.
99: Surely this is a self-evident truth.
Further discussion: is there a graceful way to ignore people who send a billion invitations to add stupid crap that will clutter up your profile (BoozeMail, Top Friends!, Sexy Friends!, et cetera)?
Simply ignoring them is graceful. Or do you mean you want it filtered out?
Has anyone tried the "Mark as spam" option? I haven't, figuring it would be useless.
Some means of filtering would be great, but I have a feeling Facebook is very specifically not designed that way.
you've stopped pointing and screaming MOLE! every time she walks into a room
Excuse me? I was *much* more subtle than that.
I would say things like "So that's the status report, warts and all", or "Holy moley", or "That growth number is impressive on its face".
I think you can set FB preferences to not send you email notifications for every damn thing.
We're talking about the notifications on facebook itself, I think.
108: Those are really that big a deal to people? You folks need to get out more often.
109: THEY'RE RUINING MY LIFE, YOU HEARTLESS HARRIDAN!
Actually the note about e-mail notifications is a good reminder, I do believe I will turn some of that shit off.
110: Now, now. You should go listen to some Nina Simone, get it out of your system.
Heh. Buck's family were a small-scale professional country music band, and big Charley Pride fans. There's apparently some live album where he walks out onstage at the Opry, and an auditorium full of people who knew him from the radio but had never seen him all suddenly got really quiet, at which point he said "Yup. I'm black," and started his set.
Turning off potentially dumb notifications helps with the FB thing: http://www.facebook.com/privacy.php?view=feeds Then you can break out with people and causes with impunity.
CACI Corp
A major business partner of my employer. Sometimes I'm not so keen about being a cog in the military-industrial complex.
114:
That must never have got old. Sad, but you just can't pull this off in an em-tee-vee/internet world anymore.
Wikipedia doesn't have the story, but it must have been the 1967 appearance at the Opry.
CACI really sucks. Really, really.
My favorite C&W albums are Ray Charles' two.