Re: Single Blind

1

After this can we play charades? Three syllables...


Posted by: ass | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:13 AM
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Leaving your email address visible kind of defeats the purpose, mcmanus.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:14 AM
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3

You have to give us something to discuss, dear leader. Anonymous kitchen-supply recommendations are no fun.


Posted by: lol | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:15 AM
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Anybody have suggestions for what kind of toys the elementary school kids are into these days?


Posted by: ghb | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:16 AM
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5

Is there a point to this exercise?


Posted by: ATM | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:17 AM
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6

maybe choose from a three-letter combination?

Any three letter combination?


Posted by: iot | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:17 AM
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7

What will the previously three-lettered folks go by? A new three-letter combination?


Posted by: Soy | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:18 AM
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8

Yeah. This needs some provocative posts to jumpstart a conversation, or the threads will just be desultory anonymity jokes.


Posted by: bat | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:18 AM
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9

Apostropher is clearly the smartest and sexiest commenter here.


Posted by: apo | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:19 AM
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10

It certainly provides a pleasing symmetry to the sidebar.


Posted by: ghb | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:19 AM
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11

NOBODY KNOWS WHO I AM!


Posted by: apo | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:19 AM
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12

Darn. pwnd by 10!


Posted by: moi | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:20 AM
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13

That would be really funny if it wasn't from apostropher.


Posted by: bat | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:20 AM
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14

Why did ogg think this would be interesting? What's the relevant insight here?


Posted by: iot | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:21 AM
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15

I've seen enough to render my verdict: this idea is stupid.


Posted by: lol | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:21 AM
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At last I can speak frankly to you motherfuckers without fear of retribution! Nobody knows who I am!

Suggested topic: Randy Moss's onehanded catch last Sunday.


Posted by: mac | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:22 AM
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17

This will be interesting, when there's a substantive post to comment on. It will!


Posted by: cia | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:22 AM
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18

I think it's got some interesting potential if and only if there are posts that actually spark discussion -- Torture: Mentally Cleansing?; Women: Better Seen From Behind Than Heard? Cast Iron Cookware: Too Much Trouble?; Ogged: Ever Likely To Have Sex Again?

Without that, it's going nowhere.


Posted by: bat | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:24 AM
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16: Great, but...

...he's definitely a receiver who hears steps. I hadn't realized that before. I don't know how you use that to punish him on deep routes, but that seems like the obvious way to shut him down. Or at least slow him down.


Posted by: iot | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:25 AM
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20

Let's talk underwear !


Posted by: bvd | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:26 AM
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21

Let's talk underwear !

Someone in my office heard a statistic that only 12 percent of women wear thongs.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:27 AM
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22

The point is Science. There are at least three hypotheses:

1. Many people will be easily identifiable based on their writing style.

2. New, glorious things will happened once we are unburdened of our clumsy, meaty identities

3. It will suck.

After yesterday's feint, 3 is leading the charge, with 1 in close succession and 2 trailing by a couple of car lengths.


Posted by: gnu | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:27 AM
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23

Jesus, you people are hard to please. Need a topic? How about whether people should bother using deodorant? There's 500 comments from this crowd, easy.


Posted by: god | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:28 AM
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24

The three-letter handles fall prey to the classic LizardBreathian critique. The exercise will suck much less with proper handles.


Posted by: slapioca | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:28 AM
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25

please delete 21


Posted by: idiot | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:28 AM
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26

If he's got a weakness, I suppose that's it. On the other hand, he routinely makes catches with two defenders within touching distance.


Posted by: mac | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:28 AM
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27

This new identity is awkward, but feels true. I feel ... liberated. As though ... as though a fire were kindled, deep in my breast. A blue fire, a fire that licks and laps the flanks of a burning tiger. The tiger's stripes show me new things. They show me my true self. A higher self than any I had dared to dream. The fire that raises me high above the earth, even as it sets all others beneath me. Bow to your master, rabble! Bow! All power to me!


Posted by: XIII | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:28 AM
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28

21: 12% ever, or mostly? I've got a couple, but they tend to come out only when I'm behind on laundry, because they're annoying.


Posted by: bat | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:29 AM
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29

25: There's a point there. Let me expand myself.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:30 AM
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30

There's always the possibility that someone will imitate someone else in order to set them up with something embarrassing.


Posted by: mac | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:30 AM
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31

28 is Knecht?


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:30 AM
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32

I don't use deodorant. Every now and then when I think I should, I put on the Trader Joe's Scentless Cotton stuff, which is basically soap. If you do it too soon after leaving the shower, your pits suds up.


Posted by: gnu | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:31 AM
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33

The exercise will suck much less with proper handles.

I agree. Changing herein.


Posted by: Zing Zang (previously Soy) | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:31 AM
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34

Will sucks at this game.


Posted by: Zing Zang | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:31 AM
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35

I'll put up a post in just a bit, but I have to go to work now...


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:31 AM
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I can't keep this up all day--I'm terrified I'll say something witty and no one will know it was me.


Posted by: lol | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:31 AM
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37

Shouldn't we all be paid at least a nominal sum to participate in this socially scientific study?


Posted by: cfm | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:32 AM
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38

I don't use deodorant. Every now and then when I think I should,

Do you keep a canary handy for this purpose?


Posted by: slapioca | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:32 AM
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39

Count me in! Except I have to catch a plane now, so I'm not going around to see the part where we hit Piggy with a rock.


Posted by: No Gnus | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:34 AM
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34: I've gone back and forth. Sweatstains in my workshirts seem to actually be deodorant stains. I never noticed them in non-deodorant periods of my life, but as a deodorant user, cotton shirts have yellow underarm stains.

I'm trying to edit out conversational tics, which I have plenty of, but I don't know whether it's working.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:34 AM
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I am one of those people who thinks sweat smells faintly pleasant. I went my entire teenagerhood thinking the whole world was nuts with an obsession over basically inoffensive bodily smells. Eventually I understood that not everybody is like me.

I still think American culture is over the top about hygiene.


Posted by: Coconut | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:36 AM
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42

There should be a thread, perhaps tomorrow, where we can submit guesses as to who was who.


Posted by: old lady | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:37 AM
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43

Trying to think of a salacious story I haven't told, to make this worthwhile, or "alright" as we seem to have decided to start saying.

Once had a promising encounter defeated by my wearing an athletic supporter, as I'd been working out earlier and hadn't changed; it weirded her out. Never did that again. She was a married woman and while she was very eager in general, the situation looking back is one I'm glad didn't develop further.


Posted by: apc | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:37 AM
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44

But the three letter handles are so descriptive and hilarious!


Posted by: fat | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:37 AM
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45

At midnight, the masquerade ends, and everyone removes their domino to find out who they've been dancing with.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:38 AM
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46

Unfogged me party!


Posted by: key | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:38 AM
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47

I believe that only when a thread about something is posted will we see whether this is worthwhile or not.


Posted by: tx0 | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:41 AM
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48

41: teenagers today are indeed nauseatingly over-scented. I think it's the fault of Axe those other body sprays that exploded on the scene ten or so years ago. Get a group of them together in a small room for a while and you won't be able to get the smell out for weeks.

But not wearing deodorant? That's perverse.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:41 AM
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49

Fuck. I screwed up 47. Force of habit. Mea culpa.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:42 AM
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50

47: Well fuck you too, pal.


Posted by: axe | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:42 AM
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51

Except I have to catch a plane now, so I'm not going around to see the part where we hit Piggy with a rock.

The mouseover text should be changed to "Spill his blood" (or "Spill his blood...ladeez") for the duration of the experiment.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:43 AM
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52

I believe that only when a thread about something is posted will we see whether this is worthwhile or not.


Posted by: Junius Ponds | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:43 AM
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53

I believe that only when a thread about something is posted will we see whether this is worthwhile or not.


Posted by: pal | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:45 AM
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54

I was about to make a ghb joke to 4 then read the handle. Dog damn it.


Posted by: dog | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:45 AM
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55

I'm with Coconut. If we exclude people who haven't washed for days, I don't mind catching a whiff of what someone smells like. It's mostly not a good or a bad smell, just a smell.

People do smell very different from each other to me. Every so often a study will be mentioned in which people identify family members' or lovers' clothing by smell, for some reason. This never sounded even a little surprising to me. If I'm close to someone, I'd generally know them blindfolded if I was close enough to get a sniff.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:47 AM
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56

I wish the cash machine in my building dispensed postage stamps.


Posted by: kwrl | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:47 AM
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57

There was a girl I liked in high school who wore something distinctive. I still recognize it anytime I smell someone else wearing it. I don't know what it is, but I suspect it's teen spirit. I'm too embarrassed to go buy some genuine stuff to confirm this.


Posted by: dog | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:47 AM
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58

What's the best way to inform a woman d'un certain age that the skin products she's using make her smell like an old lady?


Posted by: god | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:47 AM
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59

A male undergrad sitting next to me at a department colloquium this week was EXTREMELY REDOLENT of frangipani. Oy.


Posted by: kwrl | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:48 AM
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The attempt to think of a three-letter handle reminded me of an amusing anecdote. It was related to me as true by someone in a position to know, but I can't personally attest that it's not an urban legend.

This company used to go by the name GPT. When they opened an office in France, the English general manager noticed that the receptionist always answered the phone with "G.P. Télécommunication, bonjour" instead of GPT.

He instructed her to start answering the phone with GPT, and she flatly refused, informing him that the company name is a French homophone for "I farted".


Posted by: pox | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:49 AM
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61

58:

Sweetly say "My grandmother wore that same scent!"


Posted by: POS | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:49 AM
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62

I liked a guy who smelled of sandalwood.


Posted by: bins | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:49 AM
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58: MYOB. Unless you're close enough to buy her something sexier, and tell her how much hotter she smells with the new products.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:50 AM
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Get a group of them together in a small room for a while and you won't be able to get the smell out for weeks.

Pervert.


Posted by: tla | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:50 AM
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65

Is there anything to the concerns about aluminum? I've used it for years and think maybe I'm getting dumber.
Also, I don't really know what patchouli smells like, though I have suspicions from smelling something in certain places you might expect people to be wearing it. Again, too embarrassed to go buy some to confirm.


Posted by: dog | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:50 AM
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66

Don't get deodorant obsession, particularly by teenaged boys now, either. But it's real enough.


Posted by: apc | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:50 AM
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67

Controlling conversational tics is hard.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:51 AM
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He instructed her to start answering the phone with GPT, and she flatly refused, informing him that the company name is a French homophone for "I farted".

Ha! Indeed, so it is.


Posted by: kwrl | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:51 AM
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69

I am never going to get through this thread without mimicking every single commenter here and ogged hating me. So I'm bowing out.

..or am I?


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:52 AM
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I don't really know what patchouli smells like

Bad.

And yes, the aluminum is making you stupid.


Posted by: lol | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:52 AM
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71

I think I just sussed out who baton rouge is.


Posted by: fat | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:52 AM
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58: "What's that scent you're wearing? It's very sophisticated. Worldly-wise, even."


Posted by: cfm | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:52 AM
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I just worked out the other day that there's a line in a song about "incense and patchouli" that for years I thought was "innocence but surely."


Posted by: bins | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:53 AM
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74

I don't really know what patchouli smells like

Blissful ignorance.


Posted by: god | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:53 AM
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75

should I quit my job to become a high end prostitute?


Posted by: curses | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:53 AM
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76

The three letter names are too short for conversation. I agree with formerly-Soy above.


Posted by: Chet Chetworth | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:54 AM
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77

That New York Times article is wrong to say that deodorant and antiperspirant are perfectly safe. Deodorant is fine, but aluminum salts, the ingredient that minimizes perspiration, may be neurotoxic and carcinogenic.


Posted by: Meh | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:54 AM
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I think this is a general deficiency of the internets- if I want to know what something smells like, I can't search for it. Please fix this, google.
This is similar to the problem of knowing a tune or seeing a picture/painting but not being able to find out more information. Supposedly people are working on the image thing.


Posted by: dog | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:54 AM
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75: While you complain about it a fair amount, I doubt practicing law is really bad enough to justify the career change.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:55 AM
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Controlling conversational tics is hard

I didn't think that was the point; just the name change with everything else in place.


Posted by: apc | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:55 AM
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81

There's a new thread up now, bitches.


Posted by: foo | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:55 AM
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82

should I quit my job to become a high end prostitute?

No. Law school costs too much.


Posted by: POS car | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:56 AM
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83

75: depends on whether you really think you could command high end wages (and the associated freedom and selectivity). If not, no. If yes, of course.


Posted by: lol | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:56 AM
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84

78: People are working on it.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:57 AM
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85

83: I already know I can command high end wages. I tried it for the first time recently and got $1000.


Posted by: curses | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 8:58 AM
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85: I'm not sure that's really high end, but it's probably high end enough. So yes, quit your job. Unless you like your job.


Posted by: lol | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:00 AM
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18: Women: Better Seen From Behind Than Heard?

"... than heard from behind"? yes.

23: Wow. I use deodorant daily whether I plan to work up a sweat or not, but those people take it to ridiculous extremes. (Duh, if it's worth writing a NYT article about, but...) Most of them, at least. I thought the one guy they found who didn't wear deodorant was funny:
For those who managed to avoid underarm products, the idea of using them is anathema. "I never use deodorant," said Ken Friedman, an owner of the Spotted Pig, a restaurant in the West Village. "I like girls who don't use anything. They sort of smell like sex."


Posted by: Lev | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:00 AM
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88

Heavens to Murgatroyd. How does that break down as an hourly rate?


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:00 AM
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89

I use an unscented deodorant.


Posted by: Chet Chetworth | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:02 AM
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90

89 picked the wrong name. Chets smell.


Posted by: Anon A. Moose | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:04 AM
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91

oh, I'm no English Courtesan. I was there two and a half hours, some of it sleeping. And I hate my job. I don't expect to love my new one, but it will take less of my time.


Posted by: curses | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:05 AM
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92

I just got a licence to kill this thread


Posted by: 007 | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:05 AM
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93

O untimely death!


Posted by: slapioca | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:09 AM
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94

I've rarely used it myself, and appreciate the smell of others who don't, perhaps a little less graphically and more generally than Mr. Friedman, but "anathema" seems silly, and I hope that's the reporter not him.

There was a marked feminist reaction to the product introduction of "Feminine Deodorant Spray"—which is an unclaimed 3-letter pseud I won't be using—in the seventies. What do people think of the stuff today? Limited practical uses, not to be scorned? (I almost wrote "sniffed at").


Posted by: apc | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:10 AM
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95

One of the partners was extremely annoying again, but when I got home my two kids were adorable and my wonderful husband catered to my every whim.


Posted by: mac | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:11 AM
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94: I had no idea it was still sold.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:12 AM
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97

*frowns at Cala*


Posted by: slapioca | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:13 AM
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98

So yes, quit your job. Unless you like your job.

Totally disagree. Regardless of what type of work you're thinking of moving to, becoming a self-employed contractor is a big leap. Whether you're painting kids' faces at a birthday party, doing event planning, dogwalking, or providing escort services, having done it once is absolutely no reason to think that you'd be happy (or even less UN-happy) doing it on an ongoing basis.

It's like any other career change, except this one also has unusually high physical stakes and some social stigma. Do a lot of research before you leap.


Posted by: Coconut | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:16 AM
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curses: are you in Nevada, or somewhere else where this is a lawful exchange? Or is that $1000 tax-free? Do you think you can locate enough clients to scale that $1000 night up to a reasonable annual income? Have you spoken with any longer-term prostitutes about their experiences (i.e. beyond your one night, do you know what to expect)? Are you intimately involved with anyone, and, if so, how does he or she feel about it? How do you feel about it, other than hoping it will take less time than your current job?


Posted by: lol | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:16 AM
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I just remembered that A/ngela V/aldez of the Washington City Paper is a family friend. I was wondering if I should smuggle her into the F/lophouse to get the scoop on liberal sexual behavior to go with her Late Night Shots expose.

"Five different women propositioned me within two hours......"


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:17 AM
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Tolerable client acquisition would have to be a huge practical problem at that pay level. There can't be many people who can afford a thousand dollar evening often.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:18 AM
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What do people think of the stuff today?

Like many medications, more likely to cause harm than to solve the (purported) problem it claims to treat.

In this case, upsetting a bacterial balance and causing yeast infections.


Posted by: Coconut | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:18 AM
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103

I mean me. These high-tech thingies always confuse me.


Posted by: mac | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:18 AM
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104

101: door-to-door sales might be promising.


Posted by: lol | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:20 AM
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105

I like Dr. Hauschka deodorant. It smells like flowers! And if you compare the price to perfume---not other deodorants!---it seems less expensive.


Posted by: Peevish | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:23 AM
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To be technical, I'm looking at kept woman sort of arrangements. So the money is a gift. That first thousand dollars was like a gesture of seriousness from the gentleman in question; it's unclear to me at this moment whether I'll keep seeing him. He emailed me yesterday to wax romantic about the sex, but I wasn't around to email him back, since I'm running around so much for work, and now today he hasn't emailed me. But interested, serious parties don't seem to be scarce, and I'm sure I can match my current (paltry) income. No, I haven't spoken to anyone who's done this longer term.

I'm not currently involved with anyone and would continue dating. At some point, I'd have to stop doing this and start working again if I met someone, but there are reasons why I want to not be working right now.

As for how I feel about it, I don't really love it, but it also doesn't bother me that much. So far I've found that in the absence of love, like, or desire, having sex doesn't really touch anything emotional. My feelings aren't hurt by things that would hurt my feelings if any of those elements were present.


Posted by: curses | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:25 AM
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107

She should definitely become a high-end prostitute, and tell us all about it regularly. Unfogged needs to become a sexblog, and Ogged definitely isn't going to provide enough material.

I've always dreamed of becoming a high-end prostitute, but I don't think I could make it.


Posted by: sin | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:26 AM
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108

The ladies' intimate spray had always seemed like a bad joke to me---I had Sex Ed teachers in middle school warning me away the stuff, which was I think the first I'd ever heard of it---but just recently, I noticed that a high-end cosmetics drug-store was selling a whole line of snazzily packaged, soi-disant organic douche products. So what's the deal?


Posted by: Peevish | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:26 AM
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109

Unless you're close enough to buy her something sexier

Oh, close enough. Thing is, the smell doesn't come from a fragrance, it's from three(?) different skin care products which presumably have special purposes, and which, combined, have a geriatric kind of smell. I wouldn't know what to substitute. I should probably just tell her, but it's one of those conversations that could either go smoothly or end in tears, because of peripheral issues.


Posted by: god | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:26 AM
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110

If you ever stop being kept, that gap in your employment history might be hard to explain.


Posted by: underdunk | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:26 AM
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111

Being a kept woman seems like it would lend itself to writing historical novels. (Penetrating and useful observation, me!)


Posted by: kwrl | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:28 AM
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112

Shouldn't this be the confessional thread? No need for dead presidents now.


Posted by: ejm | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:28 AM
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113

It wouldn't be hard to explain. There would be an obvious and in fact true explanation I can use to fill the gap.


Posted by: curses | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:28 AM
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114

One thing that's always bothered me about exposes of sex work is the shocking revelation that many sex workers are depressed and hate their jobs.

That's really terrible, because almost no one else is depressed, and almost all of us love our jobs. Those poor sex workers!


Posted by: mac | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:28 AM
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115

110: could you *imagine* a more boring reason not to become an exotic kept woman? Please.


Posted by: sin | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:29 AM
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116

I love the single blind idea -- are we assuming full (pseud-)identity disclosure afterwards? That would make it most interesting.


Posted by: Barbara Manatee | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:30 AM
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Gap in employment: Lived with fiance. Didn't work out.

Not sex work at all. Legit.


Posted by: Mac | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:30 AM
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118

"I like girls who don't use anything. They sort of smell like sex."

"Because sex with me smells horrible."


Posted by: Junius Ponds | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:31 AM
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119

Curses, I just can't imagine how you're going to feel about having gone that route, say, five years from now, looking back on it. I guess there are some people who could be kept women without regrets or shame or dependancy; I know I wouldn't be one of them. From your asking about it here, I wonder whether you could possibly be.


Posted by: Peevish | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:31 AM
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120

Maybe not curses? If her career plans were public, they probably wouldn't have come up only today.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:31 AM
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116: definitely not. Bad idea. The anonymity was just starting to make things interesting.

Now, who has committed a non-drug related felony?


Posted by: sin | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:31 AM
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102 would have been my guess, but I don't have any experience and have learned to be aware of the variety of possible needs and reactions.


Posted by: apc | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:31 AM
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Being a kept woman seems a lot easier and safer than being an escort. Self-respect might be an issue. Even if the woman is at peace with the decision, it will have to be kept secret from a lot of people, and having to keep parts of one's life secret is usually not fun.


Posted by: stu | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:32 AM
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There would be an obvious and in fact true explanation I can use to fill the gap.

That you were working as a prostitute?

I'm confused about your intended arrangements--I understood "kept women" generally to be "kept" by one man, rather than having a variety of "clients". I'm not sure which you propose.


Posted by: lol | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:32 AM
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Nah, there are lots of ways to explain a gap in employment.

I still think curses would benefit from more due diligence. If she's living close to the bone with few savings now, with a payroll job, what if this doesn't work out?

Not being able to make rent *and* being ineligible for unemployment seems pretty scary. (I'm assuming that she doesn't live somewhere as cheap as Elgin, N.D.)


Posted by: Coconut | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:34 AM
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121: Does possessing a bottle of Cuban rum count?


Posted by: dud | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:34 AM
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I might be kept by one or two men, depending on how much money each of them has.

I'm doing other things right now besides my job which look perfectly respectable on a resume.


Posted by: curses | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:34 AM
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There can't be many people who can afford a thousand dollar evening often.

Don't bet on it. But I thought the real money was in niche services like domination.


Posted by: fnord | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:36 AM
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Seriously, there's no difference between being a kept woman and living with a generous boyfriend who you know isn't going to marry you. Unless your standard is True Love, which it apparently is for some of the phony cynics around here.

Perhaps a generous overage boyfriend whom your shallow looksist, ageist friends would ridicule.


Posted by: Mac | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:36 AM
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are we assuming full (pseud-)identity disclosure afterwards?

I was thinking yes, but given the direction things are taking, we'll just make it voluntary and I figure most people will out themselves.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:37 AM
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Dud, is that you?


Posted by: mac | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:37 AM
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Not exactly OT: Did anyone see the full-page Allstate ad on the back of yesterday's Wall Street Journal? The gist of it was that women are going to spend, on average, 11 years out of the workforce, and this should be addressed in their retirement savings plans.

I was reminded of it because one of the things that worries me about curses's plan is how economically dependent it will make her.


Posted by: Coconut | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:37 AM
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Some identities are transparent already.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:38 AM
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there's no difference between being a kept woman and living with a generous boyfriend who you know isn't going to marry you

Doesn't "kept woman" usually imply a more instrumental, less emotional connection than "boyfriend?"


Posted by: stu | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:39 AM
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I've never called myself dud before, if that's what you're asking. Maybe others have described me that way.


Posted by: dud | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:40 AM
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125: Dude, why all that hating on NoDak? And wouldn't say, Mott, be less expensive?


Posted by: DAG | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:40 AM
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At $1000 per, you can get by on once a week. I can't see it "not working out" financially unless she raises her standard of living.

Twice a week at $1,000 is only $100,000 a year. Lots of big time guys can afford that. DC has a lot of international bigtimers who're really bored there, too.


Posted by: mac | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:41 AM
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128- yeah, but there are a lot more business-related expenses, like buying wetsuits.


Posted by: dog | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:42 AM
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15 remains correct. This thread would be better with regular pseuds and judicious presidentiality.


Posted by: lol | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:44 AM
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I like identifying people. I wouldn't want to do it much, but for a day it's okay.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:45 AM
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Dud: Someone just offered me a bottle of rum.

North Dakota is the anti-yuppy paradise. Where you can buy a house for $7000.

Well, a lot of kept woman sort of like their guys, and lots of girlfriends are pretty noncommital about theirs. The difference would be, as I said, the abandonment of the dream of True Love.

Unless you're in a Julia Roberts movie.


Posted by: mac | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:46 AM
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I left my last job this July and started my current one this August. Just got my my stuff back asking for a gap explanation. No shit.

Taking suggested explanations for that 3-week period.


Posted by: toy | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:47 AM
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It's a day-long experiment, lol; go with the flow.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:48 AM
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Drinking problem, rehab.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:48 AM
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Helping a friend set up a dog rescue operation.


Posted by: mac | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:49 AM
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"Napping."

That is seriously ridiculous.


Posted by: kwrl | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:49 AM
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The difference would be, as I said, the abandonment of the dream of True Love.

Um, and the validation that in our society comes with a paid, recognized-by-the-outside-world job; with payroll deductions and Social Security contributions; and a certain degree of economic independence (even at low wages), etc.

It's not just about the emotions.


Posted by: Coconut | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:50 AM
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Seriously, there's no difference between being a kept woman and living with a generous boyfriend who you know isn't going to marry you.

This is sort of true, except potentially for the "living with" part. I'd imagine the greater mutual freedom involved with living separately is part of the deal.

In fact, it's true enough that I think the biggest issue with charging $1000 an hour would be that guys in this range would already have girlfriends where they'd informally worked this sort of arrangement out.

I do think she might be over-confident about the extent of the market for her services. Her desired lifestyle seems to rely on lots of repeat business. But men like variety.


Posted by: sin | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:50 AM
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$1000 USD isn't what it used to be. I hope curses is charging in loonies.


Posted by: Zing Zang | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:51 AM
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asking for a gap explanation

Who's asking? Sounds ludicrous, unless you work for an alphabet-soup agency.

I'd call it "Transition planning and management" and be done with it. Unless your HR department is profoundly humorless.


Posted by: Coconut | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:51 AM
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And "the flow" is open to individual interpretation anyway: just here, sometimes but not always in other threads, everywhere today. Choose your own.


Posted by: apc | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:52 AM
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145- Damn. Now I feel guilty.


Posted by: toy | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:53 AM
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Her desired lifestyle seems to rely on lots of repeat business. But men like variety.

She needs to cultivate some skill that cannot be replicated elsewhere.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:53 AM
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142: "Our records show you're not rich enough for a vacation. Were you dealing drugs? Were you?!?!"


Posted by: dud | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:53 AM
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This is some celebrity on prostitutes, although I can't recall who: "You're not paying them to have sex, you're paying them to go away when it's over."

Which means that I think 148 has a point. It could work as long as curses has a solid exit strategy, but I wouldn't want to make serious economic plans assuming that it was going to work.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:54 AM
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A lot of men like stability. I'm pretty sure there are a lot of these guys. I take my month's "gift" upfront. My Saturday date says he will have my money when I arrive. If they're bored in a month, I move on. I am not finding them to be scarce. My issue right now is that my previous commitments are preventing me from making myself available to them.


Posted by: curses | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:55 AM
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148: I've know people on both sides of this sort of arrangement. She got to live in a nice apartment he already owned, mostly do whatever she wanted (no lovers), and got 8-10k /month play money and some really nice gifts. A lot of that she spent on clothes etc, which was arguably to his benefit as well. Flip side is, she expected to have to change her plans on a whim, whenever he called, and always be available (she didn't actually see that much of him, but it wasn't scheduled always). He had a place to go relax, someone who would pamper him whenever he wanted, and arm candy whenever he wanted.

I have no idea how much she saved out of this, as she liked to live well. They both seemed happy. She had, of course, no security at all.


Posted by: Anon A. Moose | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:56 AM
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I think you aren't considering another kind of motivation: the illusion of having a younger, prettier girlfriend than they could get if they tried seduction with no money at all. Plenty of these men want to be romanced, to pretend that our relationship isn't instrumental.


Posted by: curses | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:57 AM
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73: "Year of the Cat," Al Stewart.


Posted by: lib | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 9:59 AM
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Question: if we've been commenting under our old pseuds in threads started yesterday (or before), should we now switch to the new pseuds in those threads?


Posted by: Zing Zang | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:03 AM
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147: at $500 an hour you can take care of a lot of the security stuff yourself, just like any other self-employed person or independent contractor.

The validation that comes from society with most jobs isn't worth much, especially if you hate your job. It's not as though people admire and respect HS teachers, for example. Much less anyone with a lesser job.

Someone making that kind of money could also go to school to retrain for a later-life career.


Posted by: mac | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:03 AM
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157- No security? If you're making 100k+ annually, paying no rent (and possibly no tax), stop buying so many clothes and save some of it- 100k take-home in a year should support you through a couple years of unemployment.


Posted by: dog | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:06 AM
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I had no idea [FDS] was still sold.

It is marketed primarily to African American women, so if you don't consume the media targeted at that audience, you might never see it.


Posted by: pox | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:08 AM
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160: no, that would defeat the purpose, wouldn't it.


Posted by: Anon A. Moose | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:08 AM
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The arrangement in 157 seems too confining for what Curses wants (she said she'd like to continue to date, although I wonder about the psychology of that).

But her description of basically contracting on a monthly basis seems quite workable -- a fake-romance lasting a couple of months is very compatible with variety.


Posted by: sin | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:09 AM
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In the population of people holding down office jobs, your future earning potential is likely to be your biggest financial asset. While it sounds as though curses is thinking reasonably about this, a long period of unemployment during which she was a kept woman could be financially damaging long term even if she built up enough savings to carry her through a transition back to conventional work.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:10 AM
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158: Seems reasonable to suppose that if that's your target market, you're excluding the guys who could get younger, prettier girlfriends with no money at all, naturally, as well as the guys who could get younger, prettier girlfriends (as opposed to arm candy)with significant funds, so you're left with a pool that's either got a specific kink they want fulfilled, or a guy that sounds pretty unpleasant.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:10 AM
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164: I concur. For continuity's sake—and to mask my super-secret new identity—I'll keep old conversations going under the normal handle.


Posted by: Zing Zang | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:11 AM
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163: That's obnoxious.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:11 AM
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This kind of arrangement isn't a career, but it's better than the jobs most people have. Unfogged is full of ambitious professionals and career people with reputations to maintain, but the bottom end of careers are no fun at all, and most people don't have careers anyway.


Posted by: mac | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:11 AM
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I pretty much hate working. I'd happily not have any kind of career at all if I could fund a moderate lifestyle and my interests.

I'd still do work-type stuff -- just not really as work.


Posted by: Chet Chetworth | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:14 AM
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167: Many of them are married. Many of them are too busy to seduce someone. Some of them seem to want to drop a bunch of money on this for some reason. And plenty of them are unpleasant in one way or another.


Posted by: curses | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:14 AM
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God bless curses, BTW. That frying-pan thread was going to kill me.


Posted by: mac | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:15 AM
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Anyway, I am ambitious, and I aspire to have a career. Right now my job is inhibiting my career development.


Posted by: curses | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:15 AM
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121: I've committed all sorts of non-drug related felonies (along with plenty of drug related felonies), mostly in the mail fraud, unauthorized computer intrusion, telecommunications fraud realms. What do you want to know?


Posted by: Beer Nuts Gang | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:15 AM
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I would like to, ah, procure your services.


Posted by: JFK | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:15 AM
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There used to be a blog called Postmodern Courtesan that was supposedly written by a high end prostitute.


Posted by: zigzag | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:16 AM
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172: Too many Female Persons, not enough Women.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:16 AM
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I can't believe that people would rather discuss high-end prostitution than body odor.

A drunken bum (free-spirited wayfarer, whatever) wandered onto our porch late last night. His odor was so strong that after he left I could smell it without even opening the door.


Posted by: god | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:16 AM
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169:163: That's obnoxious

I take it you mean because it can be successfully marketed to the anxieties of black women, thus illustrating unpleasant truths.


Posted by: apc | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:16 AM
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What kind of kink is "high end"? I can't even guess.


Posted by: Mac | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:17 AM
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It's scarily easy to commit a felony. Similar to the discussion about being barred from the country- if a prosecutor decides they don't like you, there's something that can be pinned on you.


Posted by: dog | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:17 AM
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"zigzag"? I protest.


Posted by: Zing Zang | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:18 AM
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176: If that's straight, I'd take it to Craigslist. I would not trust this class of anonymity at all.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:18 AM
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So, anyone involved in any illegal activity? 'Cause I could sure go for some!


Posted by: Homer Simpson | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:18 AM
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The validation that comes from society with most jobs isn't worth much, especially if you hate your job. It's not as though people admire and respect HS teachers, for example. Much less anyone with a lesser job.

Maybe I wasn't clear. I meant the validation in having a legit job. I wasn't saying a high-status job. I'm well aware that there are exhausting, miserable low-wage jobs out there. Still, the people I know who work for $7.25/hour at Boardwalk Fries can say that to their friends, family, and random strangers they meet on the El.

People can be snobbish and horrible about careers in any direction (ask a stone mason what he thinks of a professor). But I still think there is an additional stigma when a person doesn't have a legit job.


Posted by: Coconut | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:18 AM
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Oops, sorry. I'll pick another z word!


Posted by: zigzag/zoom | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:19 AM
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Yeah, criticisms of escorting always leave out the comapred-to-what question.

But I am curious about whether the nature of that kind of work would subtly erode your ability to make emotional/sexual connections more broadly. It seems like there could be an impact of using sex that instrumentally.

But it's also quite possible that this is just sentimentality. Everyone who's lived a little knows that sex is an enormously mutable and changeable thing, from time to time and partner to partner.

It seems to me that it would be most psychologically damaging if you genuinely disliked the other person, but felt economically compelled to totally conceal that when with them. Liking but not loving doesn't seem as much of an issue.


Posted by: sin | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:19 AM
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182: I've done some things that are probably criminal, but most likely all misdemeanors.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:19 AM
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What kind of kink is "high end"?

Well, first you stick your ass in the air...


Posted by: stp | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:20 AM
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184- I don't think it was straight, read the pseud.


Posted by: LBJ | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:20 AM
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176 to 175 or 174?


Posted by: lol | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:20 AM
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187: Okay! Zoom!


Posted by: Zing Zang | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:20 AM
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JFK are you serious? You don't know where I live. Or maybe you have a theory.

OK, anyone who knows a potential patron can email me at the email address I just set up: cursesfoiledagain1@gmail.com


Posted by: curses | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:24 AM
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I take it you mean because it can be successfully marketed to the anxieties of black women, thus illustrating unpleasant truths.

I hope that's what she meant, because there wasn't anything obnxious about my comment as such; it was a statement of fact.


Posted by: pox | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:25 AM
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A potential patron where, curses? Your point about not knowing where you live is a valid one.


Posted by: lol | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:26 AM
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Location could be determined by email.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:27 AM
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I'm not going to say where I live. I was just flummoxed by the possibly serious offer. To stay on the good end of the law, I'm only interested in people who want continuing relationships where the money could be characterized as a gift exchange.


Posted by: curses | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:27 AM
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195: That's right, the marketing is obnoxious, not your comment.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:27 AM
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What's another $400 for airfare on top of $1000?


Posted by: dog | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:27 AM
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If JFK is serious, then curses must be an undercover cop.


Posted by: cfm | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:27 AM
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This was a joke about womanizing presidents, please forgive the misuse of pseudo-pseudonyms.


Posted by: JFK | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:29 AM
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It's a trap, people!


Posted by: dud | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:29 AM
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186: In some circles, people who can live without working are admired more than people who work. There are all kinds of cover stories you can make up and all kinds of way to tell people to mind their own business.

Seriously, in terms of social validation, poor but honest doesn't fly outside rural areas. Poverty and low status are punished much more harshly than illicit wealth. My guess is that curses isn't aspiring to being the leader of a church group.


Posted by: Mac | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:29 AM
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182 -> 201, 203.


Posted by: dog | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:30 AM
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I'm still unclear on 192, but everyone else seems convinced.


Posted by: lol | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:31 AM
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I've committed all sorts of non-drug related felonies (along with plenty of drug related felonies), mostly in the mail fraud, unauthorized computer intrusion, telecommunications fraud realms. What do you want to know?

Did you make a lot of money? Were you ever caught? How do you feel about it now?

If this was just some teenage hacking that you didn't profit from, it's not so interesting.


Posted by: sin | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:31 AM
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Seriously. Changing your pseud and not listing your email does not mean anonymous. Just ask the record companies.


Posted by: cop | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:32 AM
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Oh, 202 is convincing.


Posted by: lol | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:32 AM
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This neo-anonymity is fine with me, but I can't actually conceal myself or even impersonate someone else very well.


Posted by: mac | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:33 AM
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Changing your pseud and not listing your email does not mean anonymous.

Most all internet privacy -- hell, most privacy in the modern world -- depends on the authorities just not bothering to take an interest.


Posted by: sin | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:33 AM
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Perhaps 176 -> 175 and 174 simultaneously to solve 208.


Posted by: dog | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:34 AM
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210: Yeah, it's perfectly obvious who you are, Tweety.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:34 AM
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An friend of mine was busted by the Feds at the age of 12 for credit card fraud. They came to the house & dragged him away. Unfortunately, none of my stories of illegality are nearly so interesting.


Posted by: paronomasia | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:35 AM
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Excuse me! I'm Heebie!


Posted by: mac | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:35 AM
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er, A friend. A.


Posted by: paronomasia | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:35 AM
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207: nothing particularly profit-motivated or perpetrated in full adulthood, no.

We used to open FedEx boxes and take the contents, but because we generally did it at night we never got anything that cool.

Pre-9/11 I did smuggle relatively large quantities of drugs via airplane a few times, as well as by mail. That always carries an edge of excitement.

Basically I did enough to realize that the potential rewards weren't worth the potential cost, so that when (for instance) I was offered the opportunity to buy a bunch of illegal guns at low, low prices I declined.


Posted by: Beer Nuts Gang | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:36 AM
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162: Of course --- I have no idea how much she saved. By `no security', I meant only that she had no guarantee that this arrangement would continue. She should have been able to put aside a decent amount of cash, and give herself a buffer.


Posted by: Anon A. Moose | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:37 AM
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I mean, my impersonation of LB was only just good enough to tell you who I was trying to impersonate.


Posted by: Mac | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:37 AM
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Statutes of limitations and various youth acts probably protect BNG. I suspect that he's researched this.


Posted by: Mac | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:38 AM
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217: were you involved in gang-type circles (violence, etc.), or were you just a middle-class kid who branched out from smoking dope on weekends?

This thread is teaching me that my voyeurism is unbounded.


Posted by: sin | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:39 AM
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Most all internet privacy -- hell, most privacy in the modern world -- depends on the authorities just not bothering to take an interest. not having an Middle Eastern name.


Posted by: toy | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:39 AM
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218- By that definition, most jobs aren't secure. My company could go under or be acquired in a relatively short time frame. The only relative security from a real job is COBRA, unemployment benefits, etc.


Posted by: dog | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:39 AM
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I was just flummoxed by the possibly serious offer.

Far be it from me to encourage you in the pursuit of this new and exciting career (if anything, I'd want to discourage you, but this being a sex-positive blog, I'll try to remain neutral). But I'm pretty sure "flummoxed" by an anonymous offer on the internets does not convey the necessary sang-froid that you'd need to cultivate.


Posted by: cfm | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:40 AM
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Excuse me! I'm Heebie!

Of course you are! "Immaculate ass". Totally transparent.


Posted by: pox | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:40 AM
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223: And a presumably easier transition to the next job created by a respectable looking employment history.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:40 AM
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215: Booga booga!


Posted by: Scary Carp | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:42 AM
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224: I don't know what you mean. It seemed weird to me, but then I thought, who knows what logic people use. Maybe someone wants an Unfogged commenter for a paramour. If there's anything these communications have taught me, it's that men who will offer this direct their desire in unpredictable ways. By "flummoxed" I meant that if someone wants to email me, they can, though I'm surprised.


Posted by: curses | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:44 AM
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223: Think of the possiblities of a bad fight here --- very few jobs can result in you losing your livelihood, your apartment, and potentially many personal possesions in the space of a few minutes.

Usually you get a bit more time to plan.


Posted by: Anon A. Moose | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:44 AM
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someone wants an Unfogged commenter for a paramour

Truly, the Internet is an endless source of strange and exotic new kinks.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:45 AM
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As Emerson might say, what curses is talking about is hardly worse than many the various other things people frequently deal with: involuntary celibacy, unsatisfying serial dating, nightmare marriages, boring marriages, being dumped. It sounds like second best to a happy committed relationship, but those other things are worse than second best.


Posted by: Mac | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:45 AM
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There was a time when I would have been genuinely suprised if you told me anyone I knew hadn't commited felonies.


Posted by: Anon A. Moose | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:46 AM
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181- High end kink apparently could be commenting on Unfogged during the act.


Posted by: dog | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:47 AM
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re: 232

Apart from smoking weed post high school and a couple of other minor teenage things, I don't think I've ever committed a felony.


Posted by: Chet Chetworth | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:48 AM
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There was a time when I would have been genuinely suprised if you told me anyone I knew hadn't commited felonies.

When you get put in federal prison you need to maintain your friendships on the outside, heebie.


Posted by: Junius Ponds | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:49 AM
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High end kink apparently could be commenting on Unfogged during the act.

C'mon, now! We've all done *that*! Errr, haven't we?


Posted by: pox | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:49 AM
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but this being a sex-positive blog

The only sex-positive blog run by a monk.

curses, for what it's worth, I would encourage you not to pursue your change of plans. I see little coming of it but regret and more regret. Echoing someone upthread, I don't think you would have posed the question here if you really thought it was a good idea.


Posted by: slapioca | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:50 AM
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You know, that Emerson is a goddamn genius if you ask me. I know that it embarrasses him to hear people say this, but truth is truth.

For several years of my life almost everyone I knew was committing felonies (minimally by harboring felons and witnessing their actions.)


Posted by: Mac | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:50 AM
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does not convey the necessary sang-froid

I dunno, her posts have made her seem plenty cold-blooded and businesslike to me.


Posted by: sin | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:52 AM
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I don't think I've ever committed a "real" felony, but as I said in 182, I'm sure someone could find something that would have been prosecutable. I mean, isn't it felony reckless driving in some states to go more than 20 over the limit?


Posted by: dog | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:52 AM
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You know, that Emerson is a goddamn genius if you ask me.

Heebie, the no-relationship policy is doomed to keep the two of you apart. Try to reconcile yourself.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:52 AM
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You know what's ironic? I call myself Mac, but I use a PC! Can you top that?


Posted by: Mac | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:53 AM
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When you get put in federal prison you need to maintain your friendships on the outside, heebie.

Anon A. Moose is not heebie, but rather a commenter whose pseud normally sounds like a food item. I think.


Posted by: Zing Zang | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:53 AM
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a long period of unemployment during which she was a kept woman could be financially damaging long term

Ideally, curses has (or picks up) a skill like massage therapy, aromatherapy, Feng Shui consultant, etc., which will be A) the talent her callers are actually paying her to use and B) the profession she can put on any resume if/when she wants to re-enter the traditional job market.


Posted by: fnord | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:54 AM
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155, I believe, was Al Goldstein in the inaugural issue of Screw. But that could be wildly misremembered.


Posted by: no gnus | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:54 AM
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re: 241

In that sense, sure.


Posted by: Chet Chetworth | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:54 AM
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There was a time when I would have been genuinely suprised if you told me anyone I knew hadn't commited felonies

I'll bet that an expansive reading of U.S.C. Title 18, § 1001 would brand us all as felons.


Posted by: pox | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:55 AM
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were you involved in gang-type circles (violence, etc.), or were you just a middle-class kid who branched out from smoking dope on weekends?

I was a computer nerd who branched out. You'd be surprised at the variety of nonviolent nefariousness you used to run across in the "computer underground." I certainly was when, at the age of 17, I found myself drinking in a bar with a fifty-something biker who -- when he got busted for making meth -- was found to have a .50 cal machine gun mounted to his couch, facing the front door.


Posted by: Beer Nuts Gang | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:55 AM
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We're all Spartacus, but no one is Heebie.


Posted by: Mac | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:56 AM
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I did very nearly get prosecuted for a felony, but thankfully the other party didn't have to go to the hospital, and it remained a misdemeanor.


Posted by: Beer Nuts Gang | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:57 AM
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I know that it embarrasses him to hear people say this, but truth is truth.

Emerson is a delicate flower, and a shrinking violet. Modest to a fault.


Posted by: cfm | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:57 AM
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Or "artist" or "musician," etc. Whatever. Any vocation which answers the question "So what do you do?"


Posted by: fnord | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:57 AM
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I mean, my impersonation of LB was only just good enough to tell you who I was trying to impersonate

Got at least that part of it right.


Posted by: apc | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:58 AM
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Smoking weed isn't a felony!


Posted by: dud | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:58 AM
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Curses, why must the two choices be mutually exclusive? Couldn't you start doing the kept woman thing for a while while keeping your job, just to see if it's working out for you? Or would your job limit your availability to your sugar daddy to an excessive degree? It seems like a lower risk bet to ease into the kept woman role without burning any bridges.


Posted by: pox | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:58 AM
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It wasn't that long ago that sodomy was a felony. I suspect that we have all conspired to commit a felony or, at the very least, harbored a person who has committed such a felony.


Posted by: POS | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:59 AM
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248: While my son was in HS the younger bro of one of his friends dabbled in burglary. He filled a garage with electronics, etc. At some point he cleaned up his act and became an average law-abiding guy. Some young kids are crazy.

Some say that kids like that are gaming the system, knowing that juveniles don't get permanent records. Others say that not giving guys like that permanent records gives them a second chance in life. That's as classic a liberal / conservative breakdown as you can get, I think. The guy's doing fine now.


Posted by: Mac | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 10:59 AM
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Because I'm too busy, pox.


Posted by: curses | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 11:00 AM
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My take on curses: while escorting, at least dabble in some sort of mainstream freelance career. Your hookerlife will give you the freedom to take it slowly.

That's setting aside my personal prejudice of HOLY JEEBUS, BAD SOUL CRUSHING IDEA. But you know, I'm looking for fun, non-officebound work myself.

My pseud is really dumb.


Posted by: No Gnus | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 11:00 AM
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257:

If it is their child or a friend's child, then the kid deserves a second chance. If it is a young black male, then "we need to get tougher on these criminals!"

[Your child/friend] doesnt need jail; they need rehabilitation. Only strangers need jail.


Posted by: POS | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 11:02 AM
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257: Yeah, that makes the Christianity/conservativism nexus extremely weird. Aren't those people supposed to be really into redemption?


Posted by: dud | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 11:02 AM
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I suspect that we have all conspired to commit a felony

I wasn't talking about the kind of boring felony that someone as bland as me might have committed. I'm talking about the kind of felony that you might see on TV. The kind that lets drones like me live vicariously.

Beer Nuts got the idea.


Posted by: sin | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 11:03 AM
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Yeah, I've been putting aside my personal prejudices to the extent I can manage it because they're perfectly obvious and I assume curses has considered and is all right with those factors. But I'm pretty sure she said that she's got a resume-filling gig with career potential that's compatible with the kept-woman thing -- she's thinking of quitting her 'day job'.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 11:03 AM
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This thread should be called "The Art of the Slightly Funny Deal."


Posted by: fnord | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 11:04 AM
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Curses hating her job is the premise of the whole thing.

Putting together a cover story is a necessity, agreed. Shouldn't be hard.

She'll have a lot of time on her hands, so "Living on savings and studying X" should work, especially if X is career-related. I know a guy who did exactly that when preparing himself for a hi-tek career (he mastered Visual Basic, MS Access, and a few related things.)


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 11:05 AM
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[Your child/friend] doesnt need jail; they need rehabilitation. Only strangers need jail.

This is actually a perfectly reasonable position. Not Kantian, but reasonable.

Although my Mom did once sit me down and tell me the felonies for which she would not fund my defense or support me at trial. It was a pretty limited list.


Posted by: sin | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 11:05 AM
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Don't worry, all, I have other things I'm pursuing. It's to be able to pursue those things that I'm considering this.


Posted by: curses | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 11:06 AM
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"Hooker" isn't right. "Courtesan" is the word, as a guest reminded us last year.


Posted by: Mac | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 11:07 AM
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Do you have artisitic ambitions, Curses?


Posted by: sin | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 11:07 AM
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He whored and coded? That's even cooler than Beer Nuts.


Posted by: No Gnus | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 11:08 AM
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I don't want to talk too much about my ambitions. But I'm pursuing a career and there's really no issue whatsoever with what to put on my resume.


Posted by: curses | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 11:10 AM
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Hell, if she's in NYC, aren't there enough trust fund kids around to make it plausible that a youngish person just took off a couple years to find herself while pursuing her interest in acting/flowers/journalism? That seems to be the least of the concerns compared to the rest of the prostitution, lack of security, and general unpleasantry.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 11:11 AM
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yeah, as I said above the whole "gap in resume" thing is ridiculous. What a boring aspect of this to be worried about. No wonder people feel trapped in careers they hate.


Posted by: sin | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 11:14 AM
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It seems to me that it would be most psychologically damaging if you genuinely disliked the other person, but felt economically compelled to totally conceal that when with them. Many marriages are like this; if "economically" is broadened to "for the kids' sake" which encompasses more than money. In some cases the judgement of what's best for the kids is mistaken, but the compulsion to stay in an unpleasant situation is old. It's only the me-me-me ethos that makes people think this is avoidable.


Posted by: lunk | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 11:14 AM
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Aren't those people supposed to be really into redemption?

Conveniently available from Prison Fellowship.


Posted by: pox | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 11:17 AM
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274: yeah, but this is exactly why marriage has such a reputation for killing your sex life. It's not like a kept woman gets to turn down sex or even be unenthusiastic.


Posted by: sin | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 11:19 AM
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It sounds to me that if curses is coolio with the sexploitativeness of it all and is taking steps toward the next career, it's a sound plan. What would any of us do if we gave up our steady jobs to build a new career and it went horribly wrong? We'd temp, come crawling back to our old employer, or move in with Mac.

The scariest part would be if curses gave up is her living space to be truly "kept". I gather that's not the deal; if it were, well, we've all couchsurfed.

Thus: escorting rendered boring.


Posted by: No Gnus | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 11:22 AM
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I'm not moving. I also have to go in a bit. Just letting you know I won't be around for the ensuing conversation.


Posted by: curses | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 11:24 AM
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Also: wouldn't it be as psychologically damaging if you genuinely *liked* the other person but felt economically compelled to conceal it? Or is this just the plot of Pretty Woman, and not a real problem?


Posted by: No Gnus | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 11:25 AM
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Clearly I don't know this place as well as I thought, because I don't have a clue who anyone is.

247: Ah. Yup, I've done that. I did it badly, too; I got caught about 30 seconds later. I suppose I'm lucky it was such a minor thing.


Posted by: Lev | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 11:26 AM
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If curses is gonna go all Midnight Cowboy, she'll need her Ratso Rizzo.

The floor is open for nominations.


Posted by: No Gnus | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 11:27 AM
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261: Only if you're already dead.


Posted by: Lev | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 11:29 AM
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Is coerced cohabitation and all that goes with it more or less damaging than coerced sex? It seems that the ongoing, no way out part is worst, possible brutality excepted. Just saying that living with something pretty bad and pretending otherwise is and has been part of life; not trying to minimize, just to broaden.


Posted by: lunk | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 11:29 AM
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Ha! I cleverly fooled one person!

As I understand, curses will not be trapped in these relationships the way wives get trapped in marriages. Or husbands, AFATG.


Posted by: Mac | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 11:33 AM
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283: Sure, lunk, but the difference here is that we don't usual counsel people to seek out bad marriages on those grounds.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 11:36 AM
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We do encourage people to marry, knowing full well that marriages are harder to get out of than cohabitation relationships.

I'm working on the assumption that curses has pretty good smarts and will take care of herself.


Posted by: mac | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 11:40 AM
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Clearly I don't know this place as well as I thought, because I don't have a clue who anyone is.

I think I know who "Cala" is.


Posted by: cfm | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 11:47 AM
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It's got to be pretty obvious by now who "pox" is as well.


Posted by: pox | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 11:58 AM
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247: nah, I mean the real deal.


Posted by: Anon A. Moose | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:03 PM
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248: One of the guys I used to ride/drink with walked away from a flat out double homicide with a minor weapons charge (2 months) --- successful self defence defence.

Maybe if he had a couch mount like that they would have thought twice about kicking in his door, but maybe not.

He was actually really shook up about it, but I doubt anyone tried that again.


Posted by: Anon A. Moose | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:06 PM
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I'm actually having quite a bit of difficulty figuring out who people are. I'm assuming it's dead obvious who I am.


Posted by: Beer Nuts Gang | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:08 PM
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262: sin, you'll just have to imagine the list, I'm not typing it from this terminal. It isn't short. On the other hand, I don't feel badly (or feel I should) about any of it.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:09 PM
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I'm sure of a couple of people but for you I've got a weak theory that I wouldn't bet much on. I also assume I'm obvious, but that may just be vain overreliance on how distinctive I am.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:10 PM
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crap, that wasn't intentional (redact?)


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:10 PM
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And an even weaker guess for 'pox'.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:10 PM
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291 - probably true, but based on content rather than style.


Posted by: Junius Ponds | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:13 PM
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I can't decide if mine is obvious, or blindingly obvious.


Posted by: Anon A. Moose | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:13 PM
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I have a theory on Beer Nuts Gang, but I would also be disinclined to bet much money on it.


Posted by: pox | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:15 PM
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People, people, the simple fact that all these new pseudonyms are gender-neutral makes it virtually impossible to recognize anyone based on the small number of posts in these new threads.


Posted by: Junius Ponds | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:16 PM
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297: The latter, at least to me. Same for pox.


Posted by: stp | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:16 PM
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299, meet 300


Posted by: Anon A. Moose | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:17 PM
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296: I think we've made the same guess about Beer Nuts, or at least mine is more strongly content than style based as well.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:17 PM
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Guessing isn't cool.


Posted by: dud | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:22 PM
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I'm not really sure how you avoid it, dud. Assume that everybody's a stranger?


Posted by: Beer Nuts Gang | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:24 PM
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And where's the fun if you don't guess? But I thought I'd have a better handle on style than I do. Everyone I'm sure of, it was content rather than style.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:25 PM
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And where's the fun if you don't guess? But I thought I'd have a better handle on style than I do. Everyone I'm sure of, it was content rather than style.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:25 PM
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Comment wordlength has dropped.


Posted by: lunk | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:27 PM
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Is it just me or is this experiment leading to shorter comments? I speculate that it takes away some of the easy assumptions of shared history and context and makes people more cautious.


Posted by: bbh | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:27 PM
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I'm making a note of my guesses to see how well we do when the veil falls. Then we can isolate curses by process of elimination.


Posted by: pox | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:27 PM
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Some people must be trying out different styles, or parodying, as Cala claims she wouldn't be able to resist doing. She must be attached to a consistent identity in that case; why doesn't she do that now?

I'm just using the exact style I always do, with a different pseud, and several others appear to be doing the same.


Posted by: apc | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:29 PM
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Everyone I'm sure of, it was content rather than style.

Writing style here is shockingly uniform. I had been wondering at that even before this exercise.


Posted by: yay! | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:29 PM
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309: Oh, everyone knows curses is ogged pretending to be female for purposes of anonymity.

Don't they?


Posted by: Beer Nuts Gang | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:29 PM
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310: You I've got on style rather than content, and am in no doubt at all. I've been halfheartedly trying to flatten out distinctive tendencies of mine, but I haven't been consistent, and I'm sure I have quirks that I don't notice.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:31 PM
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Just dropping in to provide a public service announcement for anyone thinking of seeing Anton Corbijn's Control: it is a very nice-looking film. And SPOILER: Ian Curtis was a wanker who offed himself for no good reason.


Posted by: TOBC | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:33 PM
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I haven't detected any anonymous posts from the people who should be recognizable from their use of all lowercase, their use of very short lines for no reason, their habit of making bizarre, paranoid political pronouncements, or their love of condescension.


Posted by: Junius Ponds | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:34 PM
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love of condescension

But I am here.


Posted by: lunk | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:36 PM
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315: I can't imagine who you're talking about!


Posted by: pox | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:37 PM
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317: I think that covered maybe 10 or 12 people.

Also, I'm on the lookout for people who have unique comment-quoting styles.


Posted by: Junius Ponds | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:38 PM
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%%%Also, I'm on the lookout for people who have unique comment-quoting styles.%%%

You rang?


Posted by: Aardvark | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:40 PM
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I've been halfheartedly trying to flatten out distinctive tendencies of mine

That probably accounts for the slight doubts I've had about your identity; otherwise it seems pretty clear.


Posted by: stp | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:41 PM
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Junius, you need to get creative about smoking some of those folks out with baiting posts. Something like: "Of course men want sex more than women. Gun ownership should be a felony. Larry Summers was totally right about women, at least as regards mathematics. Cold Play is quite possibly the best band ever. Oh, and Tom Brady: overrated."


Posted by: pox | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:44 PM
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That Randy Moss would be maybe a good fifth outfielder if he played a real sport.


Posted by: Junius Ponds | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:45 PM
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314: Ooh! I have been wanting to see it for a while now! Is it worth going? Nice-looking is backhanded praise, right?


Posted by: cps | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:46 PM
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I think I've figured everyone out. Not by posting style, but frequency.

[But I've been wrong before.]


Posted by: richard hiscock | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:46 PM
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Can we play the reference game again?


Posted by: Eddy Merckx | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:51 PM
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Just dropping in to provide a public service announcement for anyone thinking of seeing Anton Corbijn's Control: it is a very nice-looking film.

I'm definitely going to see it, although I'm a little worried I'm going to find it disappointing.

And SPOILER: Ian Curtis was a wanker who offed himself for no good reason.

Made good music though (although is "for no good reason" the movie's conclusion, or yours?)


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:51 PM
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323: It's the filmic equivalent of saying "that girl has a wonderful personality." Game performances from everyone, it's just not much of a script.


Posted by: TOBC | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:52 PM
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Sure, lets


Posted by: Fausto Coppi | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:53 PM
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326: And he flapped like a flightless bird. Love him.


Posted by: cps | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:53 PM
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326: is "for no good reason" the movie's conclusion, or yours?

The movie tries to make a case for a good reason, I think, but mostly fails.

The trouble with musical biopics is that some of the most arresting pop musicians of our time were just not that interesting as people.


Posted by: TOBC | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:55 PM
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Let's play Botticelli, but using new pseudonym rules:

"I've made up a pseudonym for the person I'm thinking of. It starts with q."

"Are you a pseudonymous 19th Century physicist?"

"No, I do not have the pseudonym qft."


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:55 PM
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I think I've figured everyone out. Not by posting style, but frequency.

This is not unlike the claim in Cryptonomicon that one could construct a street map of London given enough precise altimeter measurements from the heels of pedestrians.


Posted by: pox | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:56 PM
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Maybe I'll go just for the music and the depressing/meaningless fun. I get especially pumped up about depressing things that have no purpose.


Posted by: cps | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:57 PM
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For some people, it's a data point. If I were trying harder to hide, I wouldn't be posting so much.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:57 PM
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We know who posts the most and their general style. Like on that other thread, "Adam Kotsko" is obviously SEK.

[Or Labs. Or possibly m. leblanc. One of them, certainly.]


Posted by: richard hiscock | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:58 PM
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The three-letter rule would make Presidential anonymity that much harder. If you posted as "rbh", how would anyone know you're trying to be anonymous?


Posted by: lbj | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:59 PM
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The musical sequences are admittedly great.

331: I've made up a pseudonym for the person I'm thinking of: it starts with "l."


Posted by: TOBC | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:59 PM
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I'm just using the exact style I always do, with a different pseud

Same here.


Posted by: kwrl | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 12:59 PM
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I have no idea who baton rouge is.


Posted by: Booze Not Bombs | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:00 PM
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The trouble with musical biopics is that some of the most arresting pop musicians of our time were just not that interesting as people.

Very true.

I did immensely enjoy 24 Hour Party People.

And he flapped like a flightless bird. Love him.

It's Jagger's rooster forced through an Iggy Pop and Thatcherism meat grinder.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:00 PM
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339: Cool. I'm all stealthy and shit.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:02 PM
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Curses, for god's sake, no, do not quit your job to become a prostitute. Find another, non-sucky job. The depression and ennui you feel now because of your crappy job, whatever it is, are not going to get better when you've got some asshole who thinks it's okay to own a woman taking care advantage of you.


Posted by: ack | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:08 PM
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It seems like 127 is true. And in 342, "prostitute" could be replaced with "housewife".


Posted by: Junius Ponds | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:14 PM
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"prostitute" could be replaced with "housewife".

How charmingly old skool sexist.


Posted by: ack | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:17 PM
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345

"housewife" could be replaced with "scullery wench"


Posted by: Beer Nuts Gang | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:18 PM
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346

"Scullery wench" could be replaced with "scurvy dog." And then compelled to walk the plank.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:20 PM
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347

Arr! Ye be a kept pirate!


Posted by: Beer Nuts Gang | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:22 PM
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348

Curses, only quit your job to become a glamorous Hooker with a Heart of Gold who is then rescued from the life by a wealthy, handsome rogue who turns out to be a prince from a foreign country.


Posted by: TOBC | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:22 PM
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348: Alternatively, be rescued by your father, long since presumed to be dead as a result of native uprising, who returns from India at long last, having escaped from captivity at the hands of the cruel Satrap.


Posted by: pox | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:25 PM
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I'm finding curses' kept-woman plan too depressing to comment on. So let's turn our newfound anonymity into an excuse for crude sexual come-ons. Mac, I would just like to take you over my knee and spank you! Talk Randy Moss to me all night long!


Posted by: Booze Not Bombs | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:36 PM
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351

We could keep talking about my criminal history; that's always fun.


Posted by: Beer Nuts Gang | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:37 PM
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I think that I know who BNB is.

I was already depressed before curse's plan came up.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:37 PM
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That clears it up: Beer Nuts is AWB.


Posted by: Booze Not Bombs | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:39 PM
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I'm proving to be really bad at guessing. There are about three people who I think I know, but that's it.


Posted by: kwrl | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:40 PM
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We could keep talking about my criminal history; that's always fun.

where did you hide the drugs when you smuggled them on the plane?


Posted by: sin | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:41 PM
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350: Agreed. I don't even want to date guys with money anymore. Even though he didn't pay for things, except for fancy dinners out, etc. (i.e., no major gifts or trips) people assumed he was (or should) pay for my rent, take me abroad for free, and so forth. I just kept saying, "What the fuck do you take me for, a prostitute?" I got really defensive and pissed off about it, and it felt really depressing, the expectation that I should want to be bought.


Posted by: cps | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:42 PM
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It is interesting that styles are by-and-large not so distinctive as many of us expected. Experiment successful at least in that.


Posted by: apc | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:44 PM
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355: Usually in my socks, but once, in a fit of cleverness I cut a whole pack of clove cigarettes in half, filled the bottom half of the pack with ecstasy, and replaced the half-cigarettes on top of them. I figured the foil would make it look like a regular pack of cigarettes as it went through the X-ray machine. Once I also bought a bag of cheap pens, cut the ink reservoir off the tip, and filled the body of the pens with foil-wrapped E capsules. Then I mailed the pens to my friend. Arguably, a large quantity of cheap pens is a weird thing for somebody to mail, but hey, it worked.


Posted by: Beer Nuts Gang | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:45 PM
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And so there came the saddest day
When I had to tell myself plain:
the upper classes are just a fraud,
you'd better get down again.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:48 PM
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Anytime I wanted to take drugs anywhere, I'd use tampons as a foil. (Like into a concert or something. I never took drugs onto a plane because I'm not insane.)


Posted by: old lady | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:48 PM
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356: Eh, having a man pay your rent is a bit much but I see nothing wrong with the partner who has money footing the bill for vacations.


Posted by: ack | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:49 PM
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It is interesting that styles are by-and-large not so distinctive as many of us expected. Experiment successful at least in that.

It reminds me of how freakin' hard it was to get a sense of continuity of people when I first started lurking/reading Unfogged.


Posted by: old lady | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:49 PM
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I got really defensive and pissed off about it, and it felt really depressing, the expectation that I should want to be bought.

The presumption that women want a rich man so they can quit their jobs plays a similarly prominent and corrosive role in pop culture to the presumption that men will do anything to get sex and therefore you should lock up your daughters.


Posted by: Junius Ponds | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:50 PM
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A couple of people are really easy to identify, though. (I would be amazed if anyone figured out who I am, though. My distinctiveness is that of a single leaf on the oak tree of Life.)


Posted by: Booze Not Bombs | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:51 PM
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360: Aw, it was fine in the old days. Double-bag the pot, put some oranges and garlic in the outer bag, stick it in your underwear, and you're fine. Probably not anymore.


Posted by: Beer Nuts Gang | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:53 PM
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363: Couldn't agree more.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:53 PM
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put some oranges and garlic... in your underwear

This sounds... how do I put it... bulgy?


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:54 PM
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Double-bag the pot, put some oranges and garlic in the outer bag, stick it in your underwear, and you're fine.

This is also how I shake things up on a date.


Posted by: old lady | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:55 PM
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367: Baggy pants were all the rage in those days.


Posted by: Beer Nuts Gang | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:55 PM
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Styles are not distinctive enough; the few people I think I id'd I did through pseud slippage or else previously revealed details from lives.

I think I know who Beer Nuts is now.


Posted by: sin | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:55 PM
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Are there drug-sniffing dogs in airports now, thanks to the GWOT?


Posted by: sin | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:56 PM
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I never have smuggled pot, but it always seemed that a jar of face cream would be the way to go. Baggie of pot poked into the bottom of the jar, the face cream hides the smell, and you're golden.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:57 PM
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"So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time."


Posted by: kwrl | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:57 PM
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360: I did this once by accident, on a domestic flight, and not a garlic or an orange to be seen. Realizing it as I debarked at my destination was... entertaining.


Posted by: TOBC | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:59 PM
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the face cream hides the smell, and you're golden

Don't count on anything masking the smell. The dogs have very sensitive noses, and they're psyched to get a milkbone.


Posted by: pox | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 1:59 PM
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363: Except that both presumptions are more detrimental to women than to men.


Posted by: ack | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 2:02 PM
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I'm not planning to actually do this, but a couple layers of plastic, and then a jarful of stinky face cream? If they were alerting to that little pot-smell, wouldn't they be alerting to anyone who'd touched any that day, regardless of whether they'd brought it to the airport?


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 2:03 PM
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377: I would worry that it might show up on the X-Ray.


Posted by: Beer Nuts Gang | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 2:04 PM
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377: Give it a try, BR. Just be prepared to be unpleasantly surprised.

Someone very close to me could have spent a long time in prison if he hadn't been able to hire a really good lawyer (referred to him by NORML, god bless 'em).


Posted by: pox | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 2:06 PM
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Besides which, I don't think you could fit very much pot in the amount of face cream you can bring on a plane.


Posted by: Beer Nuts Gang | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 2:06 PM
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It reminds me of how freakin' hard it was is to get a sense of continuity of people when I first started lurking/reading Unfogged.


Posted by: dog | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 2:08 PM
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I was thinking checked, rather than carryon. And I was also thinking personal use type amounts, rather than commercial resale. And I don't even smoke pot; it's never done much for me. This was idle musing about smuggling techniques.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 2:09 PM
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NPR had a report a couple of days back about an NC drug cop who quit, got hassled by local police, and has decided to make money by peddling a "never get busted again" DVD. IIRC the recommendation was decoy salami in the same bag.


Posted by: lunk | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 2:11 PM
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373: What is that from? One of my college friends always said that.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 2:12 PM
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IIRC the recommendation was decoy salami in the same bag.

I remember hearing a story about Keith Richards coming through Heathrow in the early 80s, a time when the UK was much more serious than the US about drugs. A dog alerted to his bag as if he had exactly what you'd expect Keith Richards to have in it. Richards denied having any contraband, and was very adamant about it. Then they opened his bag, and he saw a brown paper package, and blanched, explaining "I'm bringing that into the country for a friend, she didn't tell me what it was. Honestly, it's not mine!"

Turned out to be high-end dog treats.


Posted by: baton rouge | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 2:16 PM
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384- Grandpa Simpson telling a story.


Posted by: dog | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 2:17 PM
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384: It's a Simpsons reference.

I'm not commenting again until the usual names come back. I'm not reading any of the threads until the usual names come back. And I'm not reading any of the blind threads all the way through even after the usual names come back. I'm sure this will affect no one else.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 2:18 PM
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I'm kind of hoping that curses isn't a frequent commenter because I really don't want to read anyone's comments with that attached. Not because it's horrible, although I'm skeptical that it would work out very well, but because the implications are rich enough that I don't want to add "and possibly interested in becoming a high-end courtesan" to my mental image of random members of the urban female commetariat.


Posted by: sven | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 2:35 PM
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Here's the NPR story about not getting busted. Apparently you should hide a cat in your pants to fool the drug dogs.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 2:50 PM
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389: That story led to a really good conversation with my kid about drugs and laws and stupidity, unfortunately cut short by arrival at school.


Posted by: sven | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 3:03 PM
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I just read the curses comments. I don't think it's a good idea, but what do I know.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 3:10 PM
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Nice try, eb, but we already know that curses is you.


Posted by: Booze Not Bombs | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 3:26 PM
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I am currently building a gap on my resume, just to prove it's not me.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 3:29 PM
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I once walked through downtown of a mid-sized metro with a (quadruple bagged) glad bag of pot over my shoulder at midday. It was maybe 30 lbs of so-so stuff, but not cleaned yet, so no mor than a couple/few pounds of buds.

I figured nobody would possibly think the bag was full of pot. Still, it made me pretty nervous to walk by a couple of cops.


Posted by: Anon A. Moose | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 3:29 PM
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I just had a nice little experience where I read something in another thread, thought "I feel exactly the same way! I wonder who that kwrl person is."


Posted by: kwrl | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 3:34 PM
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To return to curses for a moment: I have a friend who did this -- to be able to afford her horse, if you can believe it -- and she made $1,500 a pop for BD/SM in which she played dominant. She advertised discretely, and even had an online sex site under an assumed name ...

... I'm sure you know how this story ends.


Posted by: richard hiscock | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 3:38 PM
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She lived perfectly happy ever after and learned that really, deep down, we all just want to be whipped?


Posted by: Beer Nuts Gang | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 3:40 PM
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I'm sure you know how this story ends.

Godamnit, no we don't! Now tell us!



Posted by: sin | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 4:24 PM
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She was found out by some other graduate students in the department -- to this day, I'm still not sure how -- and soon enough, the entire department knew about it. She was embarrassed, but privately, never acknowledging the rumors at all. You'd be surprised at how juvenile a group of graduate students could be.

(Then again, maybe you wouldn't.)


Posted by: richard hiscock | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 5:32 PM
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396 & 399 should have been identifying. Only one person has an endless supply of that sort of story.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 6:01 PM
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You'd be surprised at how juvenile a group of graduate students could be.

Have you been here before?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 6:06 PM
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399: I met a girl who was paying her way through med school like this. She was entirely brazen about it.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 6:23 PM
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"Met"?


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 6:25 PM
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Despite Curses's contentions that this is effectively a career move to allow her more time to work on her own things, I really have to question that. From my own incredibly limited experience of sex work, and from my friends who are or have been sex workers, this is very much a myth. You have to be "on" and performing the entire time you're in the presence of your patron, and even when you aren't. It is much more work, practically speaking, than most people want to believe it is. Even, once we consider the amount of "prep time" involved, Curses ends up spending fewer "working hours" as a courtesan than an office monkey, there's a big cost to be paid in maintaining boundaries and so on. If she doesn't have the time to do this outside development while working a 9-5, it seems unlikely she'll be able to do so while working as a courtesan. It's not "taking time off" in the way that actually taking time off is; it's just reapportioning it and mixing up the emotional work/life balance. There are a huge host of purely practical concerns: security of all kinds (physical, social, electronic), finding health professionals who are sex-worker-friendly, making sure one is trained in CPR and first aid and keeping the training current, stalk-proofing and blackmail-proofing, etc etc. The blackmailing/stalking can come from any number of different angles, by the way, not just obsessive patrons, including and especially law enforcement. Any kind of sex work that involves interacting with patrons is very, very intensive.

On top of all that, if you're not sure, keep in mind that this is a career where it is very, very hard to have a normal "bad day at work" that does not slide into questioning one's entire line of work and career choices. The closest of my sex-worker friends has an amazingly sex-positive and accepting support network, including most of her healthcare professionals, and the impression I've gotten from talking to her is that unless she's 110% into it at all times, someone is going to be second-guessing her, which almost inevitably leads to her second-guessing herself. This is a woman for whom sex work is her first choice, not an avenue to anything or escape from anything else.

There are plenty of other reasons not to do it, from the personal to the political to the "this thread is way fucking creepy and has made me hate Unfogged more than I have in months", but I'm trying to stay as non-judgemental as possible. At the very least, Curses, if you're serious, I really hope you have someone experienced that you're talking to and getting guidance from - and if you'd like to talk to me, feel free to send me an email or ask B for my AIM.


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 6:33 PM
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400: Only one person has an endless supply of that sort of story.

Well, as 402 attests (confesses?), it's much more common than you think. I actually know another person (male) who whores himself in West Hollywood (to pay for blow and student fees).


Posted by: SEK | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 6:34 PM
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And I made any number of grammatical errors in that, but seriously: Curses, if you're even 50% serious about that, please please make sure you have all the safety aspects worked out beforehand.


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 6:36 PM
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403: Yeah, I was with a girl in her class. Ended up talking to her date a bit, because we were the only people there who weren't in med school.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 6:36 PM
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405: I don't doubt it at all. I'm just sheltered.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 6:39 PM
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406 is good advice.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 6:40 PM
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407: Was just funning.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 6:40 PM
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405: hell, I used to know dozens. But it is somewhat rare in academic circles etc. More than some would think, though.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 6:41 PM
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And 404 sounds like excellent advice. I was trying to be sensibly discouraging above, but I don't know thing one about sex work, so there's not that much I could say. But Curses, if you're reading, you should really be checking this idea out with someone who already does it for a living and knows what they're talking about.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 6:44 PM
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RE: 412, I can put you in touch with the woman I mentioned, if you're looking for advice and/or support. (You seem fine with it, but reading your tone -- a mistake, no doubt -- I sense some resignation, and that troubles me.)


Posted by: SEK | Link to this comment | 11- 8-07 6:47 PM
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