But Ogged, don't you want to look like a bad boy of mystery?

A slimfit white shirt with a light gray pinstripe, sleeves rolled up. You can't go wrong.

fashion and poop.

Such a thin line between the two.

I'm wearing a solid black button-down shirt right now! I was also wearing it yesterday, with black pants, as an experiment in looking ridiculous.

I wonder if it's only a sin to wear such an article if you do so thinking it will make you look edgy.

I wear black button-downs. Is the meaning different for women?

is this guy AN ogged?
i thought you look more asian, just a little bit
not this whitish
and what is mut - a goddess or mutton?

Is the meaning different for women?

Slut.

Is that explanation or vocative?

I wonder if it's only a sin to wear such an article if you do so thinking it will make you look edgy.

I was wondering whether I should pin my hopes on this ambiguity.

I wear light-blue oxford cloth buttondown shirts, but I do it recklessly, with the devil-may-care cycicism of Lee Marvin.

I told you. But did you listen? Oh no. And now look at you, with your twenty-sided dice and the Fiend Folio.

Cynicism. Moloch damn it.

Nothing says "edgy" for the middle eastern looking fellows like a vest with a bunch of road flares strapped to it.

Flat black and red tie? Nyet.

Subtly patterned dark gray with jeans or dark gray slacks? Oui oui.

Further confirmation.

14: But those aren't button-down shirts.

Those aren't collared shirts.

13: Yes.

The black-on-black look on men says Dan Ackroyd circa 1985.

Why does his tie end above his belly button? Normally I would think that presentation meant the wearer was going for a Go-Daddy-O thing. But here? Is it just tied badly?

Who? Where's the tie supposed to end? Below the waistband?

at the belt buckle. someone needs to explain the nutsack rule to this guy.

At the belt buckle.

Wow, his tie ends one inch too high. Who on earth could possibly give a fuck?

Well, obviously there is some variation. But they do not end above one's bellybutton. (This guy is maybe leaning back a little, tho?) Unless you play the stand-up bass and wear a porkpie hat. Or are Archie Goodwin.

I wonder if it's only a sin to wear such an article if you do so thinking it will make you look edgy.

I think it's only a sin if you wear it with a tie.

The look of the guy in the picture reminds me of Billy Mitchell's look as displayed King of Kong. Always a dark button-down, purple or black, with a brightly-patterned patriotic tie and black pants, and a mullet. Hot-sauce king, baby.

That said, I really don't think about things like whether black button-downs look stupid on dudes, especially if there's no criminally-ugly tie involved. The main problems with the guy in the picture are the grandma's couch tie and the pants that are the wrong black with the shirt. Gray pants and a different tie would look fine.

Wow, his tie ends one inch too high. Who on earth could possibly give a fuck?

The shade of Beau Brummell will visit you later this night.

Unless you play the stand-up bass and wear a porkpie hat.

Or if you wear suspenders and are portly, no? You don't need the hat.

You would be committing yourself to a certain ``look'', I admit.

28--
well, portly looks good in anything.
to be honest.

``look''

What, you too now?

Yes, Ben, that would sure be a look. Sort of Jonathan Winters chic, no?

I don't know who Jonathan Winters is.

I'm thinking of people from movies in the 40s, of course. Maybe a tommy gun to round things out.

I'm a firm believer that the CK gray herringbone shirt with dark gray slacks and a Bud longneck in the back pocket is a good look.

I agree, if this guy was overweight and wearing a porkpie hat he would look cool.

Would a black and grey pinstriped shirt be equally nerdcore?

I like a man in a zip front nylon jumpsuit. Practical, waterproof, and a continuous smooth surface for stroking.

Union suits are okay too.

32: Infant! (But yes, ok, I see what you mean now.)

34: Then he could even wear a fedora.

Oh yeah.

Black shirts show dandruff very well, which tends to be a typical nerd problem.

The obvious solution is to get a black sharpie and color in all the spaces on your scalp.

Holy shit, is that apostropher?

So, is the general guy-aesthetic here an attempt to hate hipsterism while never passing for obvious-nerdery, tending toward haute couture but without the cash to achieve it?

40
remarkable hairyness, hm. no

Isn't the real problem that a button-down shirt with a tie looks nerdy no matter the color if it isn't worn with a jacket?

40 is too good, esp. for those of us who lived through it.
(no, i never had or wore one like that. but saw a lot of them, actually in the wild. ditto the facial hair).

Honey, haute couture tends toward me.

44: assumes facts not in evidence. What leads you to believe there's a "guy-aesthetic" at all?

Well, at least among the guys who engage with ogged in long discussions of "what is done" and "what is not done."

Isn't the real problem that a button-down shirt with a tie looks nerdy no matter the color if it isn't worn with a jacket?

But Sipowicz does it!

36: "Speedsuit! I don't want to hear you say the word 'jumpsuit' again, Dean."

I lived through it but never saw one of those; saw, had, the facial hair.

Flippanter knows where it's at. I was this close to making that reference.

Goddammit, Flippanter beat me to the Doc Venture line.

44: "Hate hipsterism"? By heaven, we come to it in perfect love!

Obvious nerdery established threefold.

You're gonna take the advice of some fashion blogger about what to wear??

In a speed suit, a man says to the world "Look out! I know what I'm wearing for the rest of my life!"

Go, Team Venture!

44: That's me.

men in blax

Is the ad copy in 40 a joke?

I was wearing a black button-down and a black undershirt when I saw you last, B. Feel free to tell me how hot it looked.

re: 44

No, I think hipsterism in its least obnoxious form is fine. I can't really carry it off, but I think fashionable verging on 'hipster' clothes look good on other people. If I was skinny and 5 years younger, I'd be aiming for it more myself.

tending toward haute couture but without the cash to achieve it?

"Cash" s/b "body", at least in my case.

So, is the general guy-aesthetic here an attempt to hate hipsterism while never passing for obvious-nerdery, tending toward haute couture but without the cash to achieve it?

jeans and a black t-shirt will take you very far in the world.

I think there are a lot of good ideas here.

40 is hilarious in about a thousand ways, but with all the sexy talk in the ad, I can't help but wonder if a tight, stretchless full-body white garment wouldn't be just about the single most humiliating and painful thing to wear if one got an erection. No?

67: The key is to have a small penis.

a tight, stretchless full-body white garment wouldn't be just about the single most humiliating and painful thing to wear if one got an erection

Not to mention the zipper. Ouchies.

AWB and mrh get it completely right. Honestly, ogged, you should listen to *real* imaginary people.

I was wearing a black button-down and a black undershirt when I saw you last, B. Feel free to tell me how hot it looked.

I already praised your attire, with specific mention of your excellent ironing skills (or excellent laundry service, whichever). Don't get all attention-whorish or people will start to get us confused.

I didn't mean "hot like an iron," B.

Yes, Ogged, you were a total hottie. *And* I had a hotel room right around the corner. But noooooo.

I've been looking at 40 long enough that I've decided the ad has convinced me to tell people I have a 70's jumpsuit fetish.

Maybe if your kid hadn't kept threatening to murder me.

Hawaiian shirts, those are cool, right?

Sigh. The mens are always so afraid of the mommy sex.

I would definitely wear that thing in 40. It's one of the best things I've ever seen.

Are you man enough to fill it, Brock?

Brock, how can you call yourself a Catholic while violating the Vatican encyclical against white jump suits?

AWB: If that's your new fetish, I suggest you click the link in 66.

I had seen 66 before. No, I cannot force myself to develop a men-in-sleepshirts fetish, even ironically. How horrible.

Isn't the real problem that a button-down shirt with a tie looks nerdy no matter the color if it isn't worn with a jacket?

Yep.

Isn't the real problem that a button-down shirt with a tie looks nerdy no matter the color if it isn't worn with a jacket?

A related realization: I am old enough to feel underdressed in town without a jacket.

I don't know what you mean by "in town," but I always feel underdressed without a jacket. Somehow I manage.

78: Brock, I would totally get one too and hit the bars together in our jump suits. We would get so much tail.

I don't know what you mean by "in town"....

Byzantium.

I wear a jacket maybe twice or three times a year. That's probably going to drop some now that the rest of Roberta's siblings are married (3 in the last 3 years).

I feel compelled to mention that "button-down" properly refers to the collar, not to the placket. Pictured here is a nerd in a black forward-point dress shirt, not a nerd in a black button-down.

A button-down collar would prevent the ends from flipping up during intense activity, a situation which would give a -2 to rolls for combat initiative.

Huh, thanks for the clarification, ed. I had no idea.

88: Surely you're not recommending that the Oggeds of the world take their fashion advice from rednecks like yourself.

89: Gianni Agnelli left all his button-down collars defiantly unbuttoned, a grace note imitated by some of us to this day, notwithstanding the occasional "hey, your collar buttons are undone, you know."

91: That wasn't advice, simply a statement.

Oddly, an ex of mine once wore his orange jumpsuit (well-worn, used for working on cars) to a christmas party at which the hostess was wearing some sort of low-decolletage dress and other men were wearing jackets or rolled-up-sleeve button-downs, and I heard from women for a couple of years after that how funny/sexy it was.

Funny thing is, I hadn't really noticed, having seen him in that thing often enough. I guess it was the careless combined with thousand-yard-stare that garnered notice. I probably wouldn't try this without the hot body to go with.

ogged should turn to other cultures for his clothing options. indian formalwear is quite dashing.

When I think of a man in an orange jumpsuit, I find myself thinking of a convicted felon.

96: Which one?

Not necessarily convicted, but detained and wearing issued clothes for sure.

Okay, maybe it was light brownish. God knows why it worked, but apparently it did.

Wearing orange should be a criminal offense itself.

Wearing orange should be a criminal offense itself.

Agreed there.

I like orange. So there.

99: I can see it working. The entire time I was dating my last bf, he was totally enamored of a blue/white striped pair of work overalls he'd gotten for Halloween, and often wore them with T-shirts. He looked a little like a heavily bearded five-year-old (obligatory link to ogged's porn omitted) and it was, I declare, quite cute.

I own an orange sweater. It looks pretty cool. So fuck y'all.

Furthermore, it's a tight fighting, light wool/cashmere Euro-sweater sort of thing.

bluepink

My parents went through a wear matching outfits phase, and one of the outfits was jumpsuits, blue if I recall correctly despite attempts to erase that portion of my memory. Let's just say that I do not share the jumpsuit fetish.

Some people look very good in orange.

I have to buy a jumpsuit at some point, for competition. I am not looking forward.

I don't know what tight fighting is, but it sounds uncomfortable in a garment.

105: With your gut?

(Though actually I wholeheartedly approve.)

Bah. That's some sort of Freudian shit happening. Tight fitting.

re: 111

Yeah, I haven't worn it for a while. It's surprisingly forgiving if you're only a bit portly, rather than the full-on Billy Bunter [like at the moment].

I like orange. So there.

Your love of the Carolinas' leaf has clearly dulled your eyes.

I own an orange sweater.

Orange as in bright, loud, and bursting with tangy citrus flavour? or orange as in muted, autumnal and perhaps better described as 'rust'?

Either one would be great, of course.

I don't like rusty oranges. Citrusy oranges, or pinky ones, though? Awesome. I am, in fact, wearing a citrusy pink/orange pair of velvet jammies with a long-sleeved citrusy pink/orange tshirt underneath *right this very moment*.

I read 105 and 110 both twice as "tight-fitting", and couldn't figure out what the hell 112 meant. Jesus. The funny part is that I agered with 110 anyway.

I have a very bright yellow sweater that I've never had the guts to wear, except to an 80's theme party. It's very exceptionally hideous and I love it. I found it on the Manhattan Bridge, abandoned. A wonderful gross yellow-yellow color not seen in clothing for a few decades.

Oh wow! I just looked down and noticed that I am currently wearing a hideous sweater! It's yellow and orange and magenta and purple and black, all in stripes. I used to think it was really adorable on me, but have since changed my mind. Only wore it today because I just did errands, with a coat over it.

You know what color ought to come back? Chartreuse.

In other news, Into Great Silence is really very beautiful.

I am wearing this very minute a bright orange turtleneck that I purchased at the Annapolis Mall Benneton in 1989. (It spent the day covered up under a chunky sweater in our 20 degree weather.)

I have a really awesome wrap dress in various shades of purple, fuscia, and orange, which I love. Ogged, who has seen me in it, apparently was too blinded by the gorgeousness of my tits to even notice the dress. Certain other Unfogged people who have seen it in person and think it's hideous will politely go unnamed.

||

Want to know what's terrible? The combination of carrot cake and V-8, that's what. Blech.

I wore a fantastically comfortable autumnally orange sweater today. I think it's part cashmere.

Wow, Brock. Why? Why would you do that?

123: Why? Why on earth would one combine such things?

122: Hey, I have an orange, purple, and fuschia wrap dress! But mine is mostly orange. I like orange but it really isn't my color. I am see-through blue/white with black hair.

Speaking of Chartreuse, I hear that ouzo is popular at goth clubs because of its interaction with blacklights.

Because it's a completely awesome dress, that's why. And the color combo is a major part of the awesomeness (although I also own it in more subdued blues and greens. But the purple/orange/fuscia combo is much, much better).

Would you say, oudemia, that you have skin white as snow, lips red as blood, and hair black as ebony?

128: Don't they all posture with their absinthe?

127: Ah. I'm more cali-girl color, with yellow rather than pink skin, so that kind of thing is fine for me. It's the gothy colors that I shouldn't wear.

130: Yes. And all my friends are very, very short.

129: Oh, I thought the "why" question was about the colors, not the food. Agreed, v8 and carrot cake does not sound like a good combination.

125/126: they were both right there in front of me. And I like them both. But it turns out I don't them them both together.

130: Is "...as a raven's wing" only for men?

If it's the day for pronouncements: rusty or autumnal orange is okay. Bright orange, let's just say that people would blink once or twice and not say anything if I showed up in such a thing. Native coloring, you know.

Shorter me: no guts.

Don't they all posture with their absinthe?

This is just what I've heard. I've never been in one. Also my intelligences are some years old by now.

Since the interaction presumably derives from the clouding when mixed with water, I assume absinthe or plain old pastis would work, too, but ouzo (and I think Swiss absinthes?) has the additional advantage that when it clouds up it turns an enchantingly pale white. Ooh ooh ooh.

Is "...as a raven's wing" only for men?

I had remembered it as "… as coal", but google came up with "ebony" and doesn't that seem more complimentary? Raven wings would also be an improvement on coal.

Not that there's anything wrong with coal, you understand.

Not that there's anything wrong with coal, you understand.

Say what? There are several things wrong with coal.

To wit?

138: Yeah, me neither. But I'm sure you're right. Turkish raki (is that is what it's called?) would presumably have the same delightful effect.

Ben w-lfs-n is proud to be a coal miner's daughter.

To wit?

For one thing, it's chock full of pollutants and carbon, which are released into the atmosphere when it's burned (which is, of course, what is generally done with it), and it's extracted in extremely environmentally damaging ways as well. This is not an exhaustive list.

On the other hand, it sure is pretty. Very black and shiny.

On the other hand, it sure is pretty. Very black and shiny.

I prefer obsidian, the frozen black tears of the Earth.

Yeah, obsidian's awesome.

Guy in the picture, besides a string tie, needs a good Resistol, Bailey or Charlie.

144: And if you squeeze it very tight, presto! A sparkly diamond!

I have several excellent jumpsuits, and more orange clothes that I can count, including orange pants with kung fu dudes all over them, and let me tell you these things have enriched my life tremendously.

Orange pants with kung fu dudes? Awesome.

Hematite is supposedly pretty cool.

149: Sifu, that is awesome. I've always kind of imagined you as Dignan, but now you have confirmed it.

Awesome in a totally banned kind of way, she means.

Oh, my clothing is so banned. I'm not even talking about the stuff I'm embarrassed by.

There's a site dedicated to back dimples? I guess the answer is: of course there is.

I look good in orange. I have three orange shirts.

I look good in the following colors:
- red
- orange
- dark colors

I've always kind of imagined you as Dignan

I read this as D/eignan, and assumed you knew something about him that I didn't.

157: Oh holy Christ. I had forgotten about that guy entirely. We shouldn't even mention him. Gah!

My high school colors were black and orange, so I don't own much orange (horrid shade on me anyway), but I do wear a lot of brighter colored sweaters: pinks, yellows, greens, blues. Usually with jeans, over a tank top. This is why I am mistaken for an undergrad.

155: Huh. There's a fetish I didn't realize I had!

There's a site dedicated to back dimples?

Nice.

Beefo Meaty, Prince of Peace.

155 is probably the least offensive pseudo-porn site ever.

Except that the author refers to women as "females."

This wasn't offensive.

Oh please. It was too. Hilarious, but offensive.

Humor, B, humor.

Fucker.

Everyone's off looking at back dimples.

I imagine they're not just looking. Else we'd have links and comments about "oh, this is nice."

It's just you and me now.

Uh oh.

I think B is calling for a hand check.

Oh thank god someone else is here.

She was this close to showing me her tits, mrh.

Geez aim a little higher there, ogged.

What, those veiny things?

Damn, Sifu. That's cold.

Sifu's just bitter because he hasn't seen 'em.

The last bitter man on earth; poignant.

What can I say, Tweety drew the short straw.

Back dimples are sexy. Someday I'll look at that hilarious baby porn video.

If you start downloading it now, parsimon, you can watch it over breakfast.

I don't think it's worth it, ogged.

That's because you haven't seen it yet.

So, mrh, were you the first one back from the back dimple page because you have DownThemAll? Tell the truth!

Ogged, even admitting that you're familiar with DownThemAll is incriminating, isn't it?

What's up with these back dimples? I totally do not have these things.

I only know what you've told me.

I don't have them either, leblanc. It's some racist thing.

It's kind of like not having perky tits or six-pack abs, I think. You can possibly get 'em if you try, and if you think they're worth it. For visual appeal.

I guess it is racist: "Ive noticed that Arabians like in my country Lebanon people dont have them."

I only know what you've told me.

Holy shit. I don't know if that's technically pwnage, but I sure feel pwned.

It's kind of like not having perky tits ... You can possibly get 'em if you try
Really? It's just a matter of effort?

Technically, it's megapwnage.

193 is a valid question.

What's wrong with DownThemAll? I use it on mp3 blogs.

Turns out that parsimon is some guy named Dan.

195- If you're going for anonymity, you need to find a better alternate name.

Ogged would look good in a Mao jacket.

It's just a matter of effort?

Uh. You could get plastic surgery. For visual appeal.

Christ, Dan could etch his initials in a windshield with those nips.

200: Lower back implants.

197 is especially cruel because parsimon herself cannot view it. Never in my life have I seen male nips remotely like that.

Mao jacket, hm... hold on, ogged, I have an answer for you.

197: Videos are not in my purview, so. Dan may or may not be a good guy, who knows.

205: his nipples have a sinister air, you should know.

Dan is singlehandedly keeping 3 or 4 steroid factories in business. Also, he should look into being a wet nurse.

That link in 197 is way more disturbing than the baby porn.

The truly nerdy outfit is a short sleeved black shirt with a tie. [Or dog-collar, if you don't mind being mistaken for a priest.]

Personally, I've always like the black shirt/bright coloured tee combination. It bespeaks a promising underneath-the-clothes kind of thing.

I, too, used to have a dress of purple, fuschia and orange. In the proper hues, the combination works quite well.

Must we call them "nips"? I don't know why, but that word gives me the creepy-crawlies.

210 seconded.

Ah, I see, about Dan. Thanks.

It's a sad indictment of either my acceptance of misogyny or my homophobia that that video bothers me not only more than the baby porn, but also more than 2 girls 1 cup.

Here you go, parsimon, a still image from the Dan video. Unfogged is a technologically-disabled friendly blog.

210, 211: You prefer lamantocks, perhaps?

Shit, ogged, you watched that for a full 34 seconds?

He's been watching it for days.

WHY DID I CLICK ON THAT PICTURE? I knew what it was going to be.

I hate all of you.

But read the comments at YouTube; some people find it totally sexy.

Ok, I'm off for a bit. I expect pictures of everyone's nipples to be posted by the time I get back. Remember, apo has already done it, you cowards.

214: Thanks, I got the idea.

207: dude thanks for the image of him lactating.

Must we call them "nips"?

Manipple?

222: whatever, Nipplethorpe.

Must we call them "nips"?

I'm quite certain we must not.

213:

It's a sad indictment of either my acceptance of misogyny or my homophobia that that video bothers me not only more than the baby porn, but also more than 2 girls 1 cup.

B., if you're still around. I didn't watch either of those other videos, but I'm not sure I understand this: it means that those videos are misogynistic?

Pulls?

225: her acceptance of homophobia; she's fine with the baby porn, but JUICY MALE NIPPLES have her bothered.

225: Yes.

tending toward haute couture but without the cash to achieve it?

Pretty much.

But what's even worse than the style in question is the red shirt with black pants. That's true nerd. The other day I encountered a guy wearing a red long-sleeved oxford-style shirt, black pants, black sneakers, and a "goofy" cartoon tie. Immediately, I knew he was in the sciences. He was. And he was faculty!

228: I figured so. (And getting up to speed on them isn't a priority.)

I don't know that you can really classify the rattler as misogynistic. Its psychological motivations are pretty opaque.

231: I like calling it "The Rattler". It makes it sound like a roller coaster.

231: You don't think there's a certain degredation involved?

I mean, it's offensive on other levels, too, and also completely hilarious. But if you think about the fact that it was surely produced for an audience, well....

233: You mean for the midget?

B thinks butt sex is necessarily degrading, apo.

God good this sounds like one hell of a video.

Why haven't you watched it yet, Brock?

235: SPOILER ALERT!

235: That too.

I was watching a movie, and you've all been ogling man boobs? I don't know what B's deal is. They're big, but you know whose I've heard are longer and pointier? Charlize Theron's. Seriously.

Back dimples aren't just a skinny/muscly girl thing. I'm overweight and I have them.

B thinks butt sex is necessarily degrading, apo.

She does?

(Sorry, I'm not B., but she does?)

you know whose I've heard are longer and pointier? Charlize Theron's. Seriously.

This is unsavory knowledge. Does the woman have no privacy whatsoever?

236 was a joke, Parsimon.

This is unsavory knowledge. Does the woman have no privacy whatsoever?

Uh, topless in wide release motion pic.

They're big, but you know whose I've heard are longer and pointier? Charlize Theron's.

Evidence against. (NSFW)

I never joke.

243: Actually, I shouldn't have shared. It's knowledge only a handful of people on earth have at their disposal. And now you, the reader of that comment, also share in this knowledge! How wonderful!

Well, shit, Sifu. I havdn't watched it yet because I haven't left my office chair since ogged posted it (whcih yes believe me I do realize was yesterday), and Apo told me it wasn't work totally safe. But I buckled and watched it just now. Verdict: genuinely not work safe. I hope I don't get fired.

Charlize Theron's. Seriously.

Not. (nsfw)

246: I don't think those are hers. At least they don't match the description I got first-hand.

Maybe I was lied to for comical purposes! How upsetting!

And he was faculty!

Probably tenured.
At which point, you don't have to care.

Dude, did I just pwn Apo on a nudity-related internet search? Proudest moment ever.

244: Thank fucking god. I asked because it's not clear whether your judgment on what's degrading (to women) is the same as mine.

249: eh you don't need that kind of square-ass job anyhow.

Also, no back dimples.

Now I'm mad. My friend gave me only one detail about seeing her naked, and it was "Nipples like thumbs. Seriously." I have been robbed of a wonderful secret.

Now that I'm officially a workplace porn viewer, I clicked on 246 with impunity. This is an amazing feeling.

256->255.

Well, if you do get fired Brock, you know it was for a good cause.

You should click on the second, because then you can say you got fired for looking at Charlize Theron, rather than the baby porn.

Also, why are you still at work, you lunatic?

a still image from the Dan video.

Oh, the huge man titty!

262: also, who the fuck is going to be offended about what he's looking at after eleven PM?

263 reads like Populuxe is happy to be reminded of an old favorite.

Brock, doesn't the church frown on porn?

262: I'm still here because I've wasted approximately 45 of the last 48 hours dicking around on thw internet, and I have to get a memo out before tomorrow morning.

I'm beginning to understand why your wife might be pissed off to find out about Unfogged.

Now's when you start playing Flash games.

How does one waste 45 of 48 hours on the internet without porn?

That video's going to be very hard to get out of my head, isn't it?

270: Here.

#265. An oldie but goodie, Apo.

Charlize Theron's nipples are an acceptable substitute for the nipples of the Unfoggetariat.

Posted by: zBrock Landers

From now on all questions about the meaning of the "z" in "ZOMG" can be directed to that comment.

I have nothing to add about nipples, buttsex, porn or nerd fashion. I just think more people should see this.

And I'll tie Slack's link together with the thread as a whole by offering a link to is-it-or-isn't-it-offensive? (my vote: no) anti-misogynist porn.

Damn you, DS. Nothing sends me into a youtube vortex like anything Bollywood.

Your Loony Bun is Fine, Blumey Lava.

One must admit the awesomeness of 279.

Must one? What does it even mean?

281: Try to keep up, w-lfs-n.

Y'all don't even know.

277 is awesome. "I want BAGGAGE!" Love it.

Huh. It seems one must after all.

I just want to point out that if you were truly 31337, you would have a level 70 druid.

Venture Bros references are way back at 52, Brock. Where were you?

Different Brock, mrh.

Does it matter?

Right. Brock Samson. Unfortunate name-collision, that.

There is only one Brock, and that Brock is time.

TOO MANY BROCKS!

BROCKOVERLOAD!

BROCKALAMITY!

The abrockalypse is nigh.

I will brave the possibility of being pwned...

It's not the black dress shirt that gives the D&D propensity away - it's the bunkbed.

I got a shirt like that at a garage sale and was really excited about it, but I could never wear it because my wife became visibly agitated whenever I put it on. "I am NOT going out with you dressed like that!" I never quite got what was bothering her. Also, I played D&D up until my freshman year of college.

Secret to wearing a black dress shirt: linen! Linen solves everything. Untucked helps, too.

Linen wrinkles like a sunnuvabitch.

The wrinkles look good, though. Anyhow? Worrying in advance about how much your clothes will wrinkle? Teh Nerd. Also, Irish linen doesn't wrinkle that bad.

Oh, I meant the wrinkles that accrue from the time I do laundry to the time, one week later, that I bother to fold and hang things.

Noted. The wrinkles look good, though.

Comity, sir.

Hang your garment in the bathroom while you take a long, hot shower, and that should take care of the major wrinkles (I don't speak for the minor creases, mind you).

Or else just iron the garment, of course, but some people don't want to do that.

And always wear clean underwear, needless to say. What your mother once told you is all too true: you never know when you might be in an accident, and what might the nurses think of you?

"that man's linen undergarments are wrinkled, but untracked."

Also, Irish linen doesn't wrinkle that bad.

Cos of the alcohol. Keeps the wrinkles out like it keeps the hair in. Have you ever known an alcoholic who was bald?

"I can't believe he keeps junk that fine in dirty underwear."

Worrying in advance about how much your clothes will wrinkle unravel? Teh Nerd

Great, great line.

Have you ever known an alcoholic who was bald?

Come to think of it...No. Some of them have bad teeth, though.

Wearing orange should be a criminal offense itself.

Oh I don't know, on some people it works.

You just have to leave behind outmoded, bourgeois ideas of fashion.

Also that guy in the original picture? He so wishes he was a nerd. Nerds dress for themselves, while this dude just dresses to impress others, without pulling it off. Strictly wannebe.

What your mother once told you is all too true: you never know when you might be in an accident, and what might the nurses think of you?

What Mama Adjunct really meant to say was:

Even at the highest intensity of desire, a lot of classy guys are totally turned off by stained panties (regardless of the source of the stain).

You never know when Prince Charming will show up. Emergency room doctors are great catches, but they've been trained to look very closely at panty cleanliness.

Have you ever known an alcoholic who was bald?

Paternal grandfather. Bald as an egg.

310: This is my mom's theory about all clothing. I tell her I've thrown on some running shoes and put my hair up to run to the grocery store, and she freaks out because what if the man I'm supposed to marry is there?! She doesn't ask after the state of my underwear. (Clean, thankyouverymuch. For women, it's a health thing. I don't know how guys stand it.)

she freaks out because what if the man I'm supposed to marry is there?!

So great. I don't go to my in laws anymore, so this helps get me my fix of Crazy Tales With A Christian Flavor.

(Clean, thankyouverymuch. For women, it's a health thing. I don't know how guys stand it.)

Whoa, is infrquent changes SOP for the guys you know or something? That's just wrong.

312: Many men are charmed by ladies with a plausible excuse for being ill-clad, but the real prizes are the few and the proud who find panty stains exciting.

Bless her heart, your mom didn't understand this.

312: Many men are charmed by ladies with a plausible excuse for being ill-clad, but the real prizes are the few and the proud who find panty stains exciting.

Bless her heart, your mom didn't understand this.

312: Many men are charmed by ladies with a plausible excuse for being ill-clad, but the real prizes are the few and the proud who find panty stains exciting.

Bless her heart, your mom didn't understand this.

I don't go to my in laws anymore

Reeks of juicy story or a PBUH situation. If the latter, um, sorry. PBUH.

She doesn't ask after the state of my underwear. (Clean, thankyouverymuch. For women, it's a health thing. I don't know how guys stand it.)

I don't know about the health thing. Clean clothes can be stained, after all. Are guys in the habit of wearing unclean stained underwear ... is that what I hear you saying???

312: Many men are charmed by ladies with a plausible excuse for being ill-clad, but the real prizes are the few and the proud who find panty stains exciting.

Bless her heart, your mom didn't understand this.

I blame Ogged and his abominable software.

I blame Ogged and his abominable software.

I blame Ogged and his abominable software.

Come again?

"Isn't the real problem that a button-down shirt with a tie looks nerdy no matter the color if it isn't worn with a jacket?"

yeah, but at some point aren't we all just tired of wearing shirts with undone buttons? Theres only so much inscouciance one can wear at a time, and using some of it up on one's shirt is a waste. But crewnecks are kinda boring and require jersey knit. I need to find some henleys maybe and wear them under jackets. at least its the time of the year when one does die wearing one.

Reeks of juicy story

Nothing entitles one to guilt free shunning like finding out dad in law is a pedophile.

black shirts are also really good at showing dandruff. But i wear my black dress shirt with pride, since the vast array of semi-legal chemicals i put on my head to keep the hair there ensures an amazingly healthy scalp.

325: Ooh, yeesh. Yes. You had mentioned that. Wine makes a man forget. I should go to bed.

re: 324

What is a 'henley'?

Nerds dress for themselves
Truer words are rarely spoken.

And always wear clean underwear, needless to say. What your mother once told you is all too true: you never know when you might be in an accident, and what might the nurses think of you?

Bad advice.

A friend was in a car accident through no fault of her own. They had to cut off her best bra, favorite pair of jeans, and favorite pair of underwear.

She might have been battered, bruised, and bloody, but she had on nice stuff.

Although I made sure that her recovery included the price of those items, she was still sorry to lose them.

You never know when you might have your clothes cut off of you. Never wear your good stuff.

They had to cut off her best bra, favorite pair of jeans, and favorite pair of underwear.

EMTs are such sleezebags.

Never wear your good stuff.

Never do. Much cheaper, because you don't have to have any.

Why would you think that, Rob?

328: A collarless pullover with a couple of buttons opening up the neck, like a polo/golf shirt without the collar.

Ah, ok. If it's what I think, they can look quite nice.

333: His commitment really is... touching.

335 comments, as of this writing, and only one oblique attempt to correct ogged's perception that it's a D&D dig? It's a World of Warcraft dig and a badly dated one that renders the original author's opinion completely invalid to the nerd in the street. Christ, 60th level? Really? What's wrong, can't save up the cash from the paper route for that expansion?

This opinion brought to you by someone who maybe did, maybe didn't wear black shoes, black socks, black undies, black undershirt and black with tasteful gray pinstripes to work yesterday under a black pea coat with dark black sunglasses. Today I'm in jeans and white with gray stripes, though. Maybe.

Also, I refuse to watch this infantilization porn that's going around the blog. Ew.

337.3: Good call. That shit will burn into your brain.

I refuse to watch this infantilization porn

Don't be a pussy, Pantsman. It's hilarious.

they can look quite nice.

They sure can.

I tell her I've thrown on some running shoes and put my hair up to run to the grocery store, and she freaks out because what if the man I'm supposed to marry is there?!

That's funny. And oddly poignant.

Although it does give you an image of God as someone who's not all that good at fixing people up. He can get your destined mate to the grocery store to organize a meet-cute, but can't pick someone who doesn't mind your being a little unkempt?

You talk as if God doesn't care about right and wrong, LB.

God as someone who's not all that good at fixing people up

His track record isn't that great.

The wise virgins in the story know what time it is, and seem to have a clear idea of the immanence of the bridegroom's appearance. Probably the best biblical protoype is the story of Rebecca at the well, and while she is described as beautiful, it's her behavior that sets her apart.

I want a jumpsuit. It would have to be just the right one, though.

Does anyone else remember the six months or so in 1994 or 95 where catsuits (as in stretchy jumpsuits for women) were reasonably normal as fashiony dress-up-to-go-out-wear? Immediately after returning from the Peace Corps, my big sister compelled me to buy this designer thing (from a thrift ship) that was like a long-sleeved unitard with feet like footie pajamas, except high heels, in a gray wool knit. I wore it a couple of times, usually with a sweater over it..

312: AWB, your mother's worries about your trips to the grocery store remind me of this memoir I read once by a woman (Australian, I think) who married a Frenchman after a whirlwind romance and moved to Paris to live with him.
If she pulled up her hair, threw on a pair of gym pants and a tshirt to run across the street to buy croissants her husband would ask: Where are you going? In your gymnastic pantaloons? It is *not* very nice for the baker man!

Gymnastic pantaloons. *snort* That's pretty good.

re: 347

I remember PJ Harvey rocking one around that time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxc8tYDEwvE

Does anyone else remember the six months or so in 1994 or 95 where catsuits (as in stretchy jumpsuits for women)

I do, because in those pre-internet-at-work days I was reading the Styles section at work. Paper. The sort of thing you read about but never see out here—he says, shifting grass stem in his mouth.

Yeah, that kind of thing, except mine was comparatively sedately high-necked and gray. Demure, really. But I was seeing them on other people as well.

Come to think of it, I think it's still in a closet somewhere. I should bring it to DCon and see if I can find someone who it would fit to give it to -- while ridiculous, it was a fun garment, and you never know when a 90's nostalgia costume party could happen.

There's also these flattering suits:

http://fr.youtube.com/watch?v=hj-O2kVYS5o

I do remember the aforementioned Styles article saying it was a fashion for the "aerobicized."

Probably why the fashion died so fast; they were certainly unforgiving on anyone who wouldn't have been equally comfortable going out in a bathing suit or similar. There's a reason I'm talking about giving the silly thing away rather than daydreaming wistfully about fitting back into it.

Come to think of it, I think it's still in a closet somewhere. I should bring wear it to DCon

You know you want to.

"bring" was supposed to be struck. I'm sure I typoed that correctly. I hate html.

That's ten years and two children ago -- the decision not to wear it is compelled not by good taste (although it would be if I got that far) but by the laws of physics. Perhaps if I fasted for the remainder of the month, I could be wheeled into DCon on a gurney after having been shoehorned into the thing.

I don't think catsuits ever hit Pittsburgh (thank heavens), but we did have a string of those leotards that snapped under the crotch.

re: 360

aka 'bodies'. Those were ubiquitous in the late 80s/early 90s.

I've said before that fashions would more profitably be segregated in such ways: for the aerobicized (cat suits)! For the long-distance runners (straight-leg Levis)! For the back dimples (low-riders)! For the hippies slouchers (draw-string pants)!

Oh, those were around for years. I found them terribly annoying -- the snaps were always kind of cheap and unreliable. Getting them snapped was a hassle, and they were always coming half-unsnapped while you were wearing them.

Cala, LB: Do either of you remember "Units" (I think that was the name) -- which were all sorts of different horrible stretchy things all of the same palate that you were supposed to be able to group together in various ways like Adult Gurranimals?

You'll wear any damn thing at least once, won't you, LB?

362: Yeah, one of the most annoying things about fashion is that when fashions change, different body-types come in and out of fashion. Different fashion tracks for what's flattering on different people would be nice.

Different fashion tracks for what's flattering on different people would be nice.

That's it. Let us hereby revolutionize the fashion industry. Then Ogged won't have to worry that not only has he nothing to wear, but nothing exists for him to wear (or however that went).

361: It's fun watching fashion diffuse across the country. Bodysuits were in fashion when I was in eighth grade (92-93) and pretty much exclusively for preteens and teens and women who really should have known better. It wasn't long-lived, and it seems like it was over everywhere else by the time it took off. This is part of a larger theory of fashion, where the reason that what some would call 'flyover' seems so unstylish is not that they're clinging to a twenty-year-old style, but that the style didn't get there until five years ago.

Now, my mother reports that her friends in Smallville are gushing about how their daughters want Uggs, they're the hot new thing for this season.

I never bought one of those bodysuits. I was in junior high when they were really big, and I remember one of my girlfriends kept reporting that she'd accidentally peed in hers, again, forgetting to undo the snaps in the bathroom! I tried to figure out if my friend was developmentally disabled, but she seemed otherwise to be normal, so I decided that the bodysuit must just be evil.

I always found those things with the crotch snaps quite compelling.

re: 370

There was a satisfying 'pop', yeah.

[There isn't any non-sleazy way to say that]

368: It's weird, but even Long Island is, fashion-wise, exactly like a fly-over state. Some of my students come in from out there and they sneer at their citified classmates in their new H&M styles. Lots of Uggs, which you simply don't see in the city anymore.

365 was said in admiration, by the way. I'm recalling the translucent dress, and these new revelations.

I always found those things with the crotch snaps quite compelling.

I had a mildly embarassing experience with one of these leotard things once. I was in bed with my then GF, and I had planned in advance to surprise her by tying her wrists to the bedstead. She started laughing, and saying "you're making a big mistake." I continued undressing her with her bound up like that, and came to realize that her leotard thingy didn't have snaps in the crotch. There was no way to get it off her without untying her! It kind of took the juice out of what was supposed to be a super-sexy encounter.

The LB line of clothing: What, this old thing?

The Ogged line: I dunno, I think this is the done thing.

The AWB line: Please, that's so last year.

The Sifu line: Oh yeah? Says who?

Aren't those bodysuits just the things that babies wear, onesies?
Someone please attach video link.

There was no way to get it off her without untying her!

You didn't have any scissors or sharp knives in the house?

354 - ttaM, is that the kind of thing you said you have to buy for a competition? If you do, can I come and watch?

347, 355 - a girl I hated (hmm, well, my then boyfriend's ex-girlfriend) once wore a black velvet one to a party. All the girls were grimacing about the size of her arse. All the boys were just drooling.

376 - yes, bodies are like baby's vests. But babies get to wear nappies under them and protect their genitals from the poppers. Also their parents tend to buy them too big, rather than slightly too small ...

373: Yeah, I've never been good with clothes in the whole 'having a personal style' sense, so my dress-up-and-go-out clothes have always been "What someone whose judgment I trust tells me will look good." Which has resulted in some reasonably out-there getups.

Aren't those bodysuits just the things that babies wear, onesies?

This is why they could never strike me as sexy.

You didn't have any scissors or sharp knives in the house?

I threatened, but she objected, saying it was an expensive garment. Ours was still a pretty new relationship at the time, so I didn't have enough chits stored up to get by with taking advantage of her being trussed up.

re: 378

Yes. Not everyone wears one at the British league matches, but if I ever wanted to compete outside the UK, I'd have to.

374, 377: Scissors would have extra pwnd the sexy, I think. A little too ultra violence.
Come to think of it, that was quite a bodysuit.

Woodrow, those things are stretchy, you know. Just saying.

Come to think of it, that was quite a bodysuit.

The demonstrative seems to imply personal acquaintance?

Woodrow, those things are stretchy, you know. Just saying.

Just use it like a body-suit-condom.

Just use it like a body-suit-condom.

Oh, ick.

I was in bed with my then GF, and I had planned in advance to surprise her by tying her wrists to the bedstead

I don't know what I'd have done had I ever been asked to do this. It would never occur to me to do it in a million years, which for all I know is incredibly frustrating and unsatisfactory to some substantial number of people. But it's just not on my radar at all.

Oh, ick.

Because it would be all stretched out afterwards?

386: Me and Woodrow. You know how it is, both of us being from NJ and all.

No. The bodysuit from A Clockwork Orange.

But it's just not on my radar at all.

WASN'T on your radar...until NOW! Go git 'em, IDP.

LB! I want your catsuit! We're about the same siZe basically, right?

Scissors would have extra pwnd the sexy, I think. A little too ultra violence.

Indeed. Basic Instinct had come out not too long before that, so having your new S.O. tie you up and then pull out a sharp object would have been especially distressing.

It would never occur to me to do it in a million years, which for all I know is incredibly frustrating and unsatisfactory to some substantial number of people.

That many? I'm surprised at you.

393: If I find it, it's yours. It may have a couple of mothholes, but nothing that couldn't be darned by a decent tailor.

And I was thinking of you -- I think you're slimmer than I was even in '95, but probably close enough for a decent fit.

nothing that couldn't be darned by a decent tailor

Darn you! Darn you to Heck!

That many? I'm surprised at you

"a million" or "some substantial number?"

I'm just giving you a hard time. It was the picture of a 'substantial number' of women, scattered across the Midwest, frustrated and unsatisfied by your failure to bind and ravish them.

WOOt! Aw yeah!

389: Other people thought of it, so there is that.

#375. What's my line--standard contestant round--parsimon?

Wait, it has attached high heels? Could anything be done about that? (Like maybe hacking them off at the ankles?)

nothing that couldn't be darned by a decent tailor.

Wait, mothholes can be darned by a decent tailor? Dammit!

404: Yeah, that's kind of its weirdest feature. But they could be surgically removed, I'm sure.

I think you should make Brock wear it, LB.

405: Even better if you can find an invisible mender (that's hard, these days).

"some substantial number" doesn't refer to my missed opportunities, but to the prevalence of the taste. This blog and its first-order linkees, have made me aware of this as something beyond hackneyed joke; I had no idea.

Since this doesn't seem like the sort of thing you bring up to the clueless or disinclined, I really have no idea whether it would ever have been welcome from me or not.

On my wedding night, my slightly tipsy SIL took me aside and asked "Did I ever tell you what your brother did on our wedding night?"

Before I could say, "No, and I hope I will go to my grave before you get the opportunity," she told me that he had tied her up, had his way with her, and then fallen into an alcohol and drug-induced slumber from which he did not awake until late the next morning.

403: Hm.

The Populuxe line: I do declare, hey there.

ravish

Is there a word for words that are only written but never spoken? A word-specific version of diglossia. The PJ harvey link is nice, thanks!

I'm dying to see it with the attached high heels. Please don't detach them before Unfoggedycon.

Even better if you can find an invisible mender (that's hard, these days).

They made clothes for the emperor?

410: You have to test boundaries on these marriage things early, right?

412: You live in a bizarro world where `ravish' is never spoken?

I'm probably not going to make it to the dCon, so Heebie will have to model the catsuit in my place.

414: ha! They do pretty insane close-work.

#411. Ding! Ding! Now let's go to our mystery guest!

Since this doesn't seem like the sort of thing you bring up to the clueless or disinclined,

I'd venture that it may well be the sort of thing you float, just as a thought, you know, somewhere along the line.

"Late the next morning" is bad. The idea of drifting uncomfortably off to sleep, and then awakening the next morning still tied up with one's new husband still wrapped in swinish slumber next to one sounds as if it could provoke hostility.

The french for "ravishing" (ravissant) is so commonly used by street-harassers that it's lost all meaning for me. Fucking caillera.

I'm probably not going to make it to the dCon

What??

Is there a word for words that are only written but never spoken? A word-specific version of diglossia.

I've wondered about this. "Ravish" would be one of the words. The best examples I can think of are words that have become journalistic cliches that just happen to consist of one word instead of a cliched phrase, like "distaff".

I've mentioned this before, ogged-joon.

418:

#411. Ding! Ding! Now let's go to our mystery guest!

These are lines from The Dating Game, right? Which I barely remember, but it was hysterical.

You've been dithering, JM, but now you sound like you won't be there.

I've certainly said "ravish."

wrapped in swinish slumber

Another superb collection of words.

I'd venture that it may well be the sort of thing you float, just as a thought, you know, somewhere along the line

1)An experience for another life.

2.)Might non- or adverse- reaction be a dealbreaker? I'm just trying to imagine here; if this ever happened to me I either didn't notice or repressed it.

bizarro

Heard it once, but she turned out to be a poet. It's a complicated question I guess-- I hear people say grill or cholo when I ride the bus, but not otherwise, and "disaggregate" I hear pretty often. How about "enchanting," which has the same stuffy overtones in English but is common in French as enchantee.

Why Oh why is there no bakery within 100 miles that makes those great flaky croissants?

Doesn't that sort of thing usually begin as gentle restriction with the hands?

428, I seem to recall Bertie Wooster's Aunt Dahlia referring to him as "sunk in hoggish slumber". Of course my memory and LB's may be similar, so the original phrase was possibly neither of the two.

429.2: Yes.

It's certainly plagarized from something, and might well be Wodehouse.

The idea of drifting uncomfortably off to sleep...

In her re-telling, it was worse than that; she is one of those people who is incapable of going to sleep on her back, so she stayed awake all night.

Despite the inauspicious start, they have been married over 20 years, so he must have redeemed himself somehow.

he must have redeemed himself somehow.

The pegging was merciless.

Might non- or adverse- reaction be a dealbreaker?

A dealbreaker for a long-term relationship? Depends on how the sexual relationship overall is, and how important tying-up is. For some people, not a big deal either way; for others, the dynamic involved is more important.

Like any other sexual activity, I'd think.

You've been dithering, JM, but now you sound like you won't be there.

I still haven't bought my ticket home yet, but I'm hopeful that I'll be able to obtain some form of valid state-issued ID before long and that I'll be able to board an airplane and see my nephews and niece before they're all grown up, etc., etc.

The pegging was merciless.

Entirely plausible.

437: JM: The DMV at 125th St. at about 2:30 pm. Not nearly so terrible as I was expecting.
Also, if you meet certain qualifications, you can go to the "express" location, somewhere in the west 30s. I don't really know more about it.

The passport people took my birth certificate, so I'm not sure I'm going to add up to the six points of ID for the NY DMV. Oh, it's not pretty, people.

I would have thought that in a long-term relationship, ther e was more, not less, incentive to play with new things.... I'd hate to fall in a rut. Also, by that point you should be comfortable enough with each other that floating a suggestion you aren't sure about is fine, and also you know each other well enough that if something isn't working it's no big deal.

Make sure you plan your Bay Area trip to avoid me and Ben, JM, you faithless wench.

Um, JM is having a travel problem? With ID?

six pieces of ID? What, are the cars there made out of e/nriched u/ranium and have 8ft spikes on the front?

With ID?

No, sadly, without any form of valid ID whatsoever. But I'm working on it!

re: 441

Not in my experience. It tends to be the other way round -- if the boundaries are set at 'wild and crazy' early on, that's one thing, but if not, it's not really something that gets reset easily. Or at least, that's been the case more often than not.

Six points of ID, ttaM. Wierdly, a (valid) fracking US Passport is only worth four points.

Not six pieces, six points. Different sorts of ID of differing levels of reliability count for different point values -- a passport might be three, while a utility bill with your name and address on it would be one.

I've actually had luck whining at the DMV -- I changed my name kind of informally (that is, my current name isn't on my marriage license). I showed up with a utility bill and a credit card saying 'Fotherington-Smythe', and a marriage license saying 'Lizard Smythe married Buck Fotherington', and they gave me a drivers license saying 'Fotherington-Smythe' even though they shouldn't have.

Depends on how the sexual relationship overall is, and how important tying-up is

Implies as I imagined, that desire for this has become, if it wasn't always, widespread—if you'll pardon the expression.

Reinforces the sense I have that should I, as a result of some disastrous occurrence ever have sex with a new partner, she would almost certainly be somebody now at least 40 years old, and I sometimes think 50. The gulf, the chasm beyond that seems to me too great.

444: It's a silly point system. So not six pieces of ID, but rather various forms of ID that add up to "six points." A passport is 4 and an expired license 2. So there's six. But once you start coming in with library cards and electricity bills it becomes more difficult. Also, in NY, you must without exception produce your actual Social Security card (which most Americans don't have handy -- we've all got the numbers memorized).

Uber pwnd.

Also, you'll be pleased to know I bought a black shirt to wear out tonight, in honour of this thread.

To get shivbunny a driver's license, he had to bring his passport, the I-94 & visa in the passport, proof that he had married me, proof that he had filed for his green card, and proof of address.

Implies as I imagined, that desire for this has become, if it wasn't always, widespread--if you'll pardon the expression.

Whoa, I don't think it's widespread.

I'd say the actual desire for it is not widespread. However, people think "maybe this would spice things up", and are not immediately horrified by themselves for thinking this. But then it turns out to not actually spice things up.

without exception

That's new -- I'm pretty sure I didn't, six years or so ago.

445: Shit. I missed whatever mention there's been of this. What happened to lose all forms of ID?

455: Yep. New as of 2003 I think. I had to go apply for a replacement card, because I hadn't seen mine since 7th grade. They're serious about it too. My IL license had my Soc. Sec. number printed right on it, but that wasn't good enough.

Also, IDP, tying someone up isn't always about ravishing them. It can be more about the tied than the person doing the tying. Sure, some take the approach of "you're tied up and now I can use you as I please" but others take the approach of "you're tied up and now I can tease you to the breaking point and you can't stop me". The latter can be very good for someone who wants to rush quickly through foreplay into sex or who you feel is so focused on your pleasure that they don't take enough time for their own. It can be saying "I'm going to focus entirely on you tonight and I'm going to restrain you from having the option of pleasing me instead".

454: Yeah, I'd say bondage is a mainstream enough part of peoples' awareness now that it's very common for people to have given it a shot to see if they like it, but still probably a minority taste on an ongoing basis. But I haven't done surveys.

I've actually had luck whining at the DMV -- I changed my name kind of informally (that is, my current name isn't on my marriage license).

I think that's standard, isn't it? Where we married the license has everyone's pre-marriage names; what you do after you marry is cart around the license to the social security office & DMV & then from there to the credit card companies. There's no change-your-name office. I think. I dealt with this by deciding not to bother changing my name at all.

457: You replace the drivers license last, is what you do. You can get a new SS card without all the hoopla of a new DL.

Also, you'll be pleased to know I bought a black shirt to wear out tonight, in honour of this thread.

Are you going to wear it with your orange sweater?

What happened to lose all forms of ID?

Don't wanna talk about it.

460: State by state, like the rest of the marriage laws -- I'm pretty sure that in NYS there's a box on the license for 'what's the woman's [not the man's] name going to be after marriage' and mine just said Smythe.

464: Makes sense. If there was a box on the form I totally didn't fill it out. We received a pamphlet on 'how to change your name once you're married' and it really looked like a lot of bother. And the marriage record in the county will be filed under my maiden name.

Where were you born again? I found my birth certificate to be the easiest thing to replace, but I'm from a small town. Then again, when I did get it, it looked like something I could have made myself at Kinko's.

Yglesias found getting a new SS card super-easy.

Bay Area. Unfortunately, to get a new SS card, you apparently need to show valid state-issued photo id. Which is the problem in the first place.

Miraculously, however, I actually have my SS card. In the process of applying for a new one, I called my parents to get their SSNs, and my dad dug my original card out of the bowels of a filing cabinet. It has my eight-year-old signature on it and everything. Not that the passport people were particularly interested in it, mind you.

466: I just had to sit around in an office on 125th St. for a couple hours. On the elevator on the way back down, a 90 year old man told me, "I like your titties, cuz sometimes those little ones are nice."

My apologies for your harassment, oudemia, but that is so great.

468: wisdom comes with age.

re: 462

No, a charcoal gray suit.

469: it would've been even funnier if she'd punched him.

No, no. I cracked up instantly and said thank you.
And that isn't my normal response to that kind of thing.

I once ordered my birth certificate because the passport people had it, and it took about a week to arrive in the mail.

474.---Huh. I should look into that, then.

473 -- Huh, I should look into that, then.

476: Look into it when you're 90. Before that you will still get maced.

452, 471 - photo needed to assure the unfoggetariat that you're not a nerd.

472 - punching seems like the right response.

I'm very tired and people are arriving to celebrate my birthday ...

478: Happy Birthday.

472 - punching seems like the right response.

No! It's totally charming! Asilon is just tired. I'd love to have an interaction like that in a freakin' elevator. It'd totally crack me up.

474.---Ordered! It'll probably take longer than a week, seeing as the Super Premium Courier Delivery (7-10 days) cost 80 dollars and that just seemed excessive.

459:

Yeah, I'd say bondage is a mainstream enough part of peoples' awareness now that it's very common for people to have given it a shot to see if they like it, but still probably a minority taste on an ongoing basis.

It should probably be noted that bondage is often associated with discipline, which it should not be. In other words, 458 gets it exactly right.

478, 480: He really was like 90. As in a teeny, tiny, birdlike, ultra-elderly 98 lb. man. It was so completely unexpected a comment and he was so past being in any way a threat to me that I burst out laughing.

Ordered!

Except that now I need to find a notary public who will accept my dubious forms of ID so as to attest that I proved to him or her that I was who I said I was. Christ.

As in a teeny, tiny, birdlike, ultra-elderly 98 lb. man.

He likes the little ones because they're to scale!

484: Know anyone who works in a lawfirm? Usually more than one notary public can be found in a law office. My mom could do it, but she lives in NJ.
I once traveled into Mexico with a "notarized affidavit of citizenship." I still have it because it ends with "further affiant sayeth naught." Indeed.

484: You've got a passport, right? That should satisfy a notary just fine.

Banks also have notaries.

There is definitely a large cadre of extremely old men who use the fact that no one feels threatened by them to get away with all sorts of crazy comments.

I was at the annual Bob Wills festival in Turkey, Texas some years back, and it was, like, mecca for just that sort of old man. I saw a man *remove his oxygen mask* so he could compliment the rack of a friend of mine.

It totally worked, too. She frequently complained about harassment, specifically comments about her rack, but thought this old guy was just darling.

I have an expired passport. I also have three expired driver's licenses, four expired student IDs, and about fifteen years of random expired photo IDs from museums and other various non-state agencies.

That should be plenty to get you by a notary.

You're so soothingly calm about this, LB! Yay!

Did she complain about having her breasts referred to as a rack?

Invisible mending is expensive- I had pants from a suit that wore out in the crotch, they said they would have to be sent to NY and it would be $200 to re-weave them. I just had the on-site tailor restitch it, it's noticable but only if you're staring at my crotch...

Actually, the only way I could come to UnfoggeDCon is if I can't get TSA-ready ID, so it's a trifle impolite for me to whine about this around here.

Reweaving is worth it just because of the high level of craft involved.

The on-site tailor was awesome, though- stereotypical short old Italian tailor who was excited by the thought of fixing my suit. He re-attached the lining of the coat where some threads had broken loose, and did the restitching of the pants, all for $10. This was a Brooks Brothers suit I had bought 10+ years ago and brought back to one of their stores thinking maybe they could match some new pants to it.

Ben, supporting craft in this world is akin to harboring a love of handmade paper.

You're so soothingly calm about this, LB!

Since I can't find the original thread, is there any news about your interview LB?

Kobe can wear black if he wants.

IDP, I think 454 was right. I'm not trying to suggest that all sorts of people some number of years younger than you have massively different sex lives than you think --- just people experiment sometimes. I suspect they did in your cohort too, just talked about it less.

446: My experience differs from yours then. I guess that's the problem with generalizing this sort of thing.

Kobe can wear black if he wants.

Arrrgggh. I could swear that I've seen photos of him wearing black, but this is all I can find right now.

499: Rescheduled for Monday.

JM, why not take the DC2NY bus? No ID required, and wifi! We're taking it back, and I think Bave is taking it down. Plus, cheaper than flying!

Erm, totally OT, but I restarted my blog, FWIW.

FINALLY!!!

I'm taking the bus down, but not back.

Of course the bus doesn't solve the seeing-family problem.

503: Good luck.
504: Yay.

Erm, totally OT, but I restarted my blog, FWIW.

I'm so glad! I've missed your blog and your writing.

Um, you don't know me, and that's a little creepy. I promise not to stalk you.

Erm, totally OT, but I restarted my blog, FWIW.

Woohoo!

Woot!

509: Not creepy. Nice!

LB, good luck! I'm excited for you.

LB: Good luck on Monday!

AWB: Yay! Your blog helps. So there.

498: I do like handmade paper but also I like AWB's blog, w00t.

My level 70 warlock will kick any level 60 druid's ass. And there is nothing wrong with a black dress shirt!

o cool

lulz