Don't even get me started on Lucas replacing the original Boba Fett voice with the voice of the guy who plays Jango. Bah.
"Between Two Ferns" is not that funny. Comedy needs another element besides sociopathy and gay panic. Well, it didn't always, but now it does.
Oh, and Wrongshore is right about "Between Two Ferns".
What's funny about Between Two Ferns is Cera's facial expressions.
What's funny about your mom is Cera's facial expressions.
Oh, and Wrongshore is right about Ben's mom.
Gallifinakis is hilarious as ogged's mom doing Ben's mom singing Fiona Apple songs about half-disasssembled cyborgs trying to sell me things in a field.
What?
Ogged's mom does Ben's mom? Does that make Ogged and Ben incestuous?
What the hell is up with that?
Hott sexxy tech geek mixogyny is what. Next question?
miSogyny. I have no idea where that "x" came from.
I have no idea where that "x" came from.
Probably wandered over from its rightful place in "sexxxy."
Come to think of it, ogged hasn't told us what the ad was for.
It looks like it's for an animatronic RealDoll. Or half of one.
So, anyone want to tell me what there is to do in Salt Lake City?
The fact that I knew immediately what it was an ad for makes me feel a little bad about myself.
The Kanye West video is one of the funniest things I've seen in ages. Cloggers! Galifianakis is a postmodern genius, haters.
The Kanye video is probably funnier, but the Fiona Apple one is adorable.
So, anyone want to tell me what there is to do in Salt Lake City?
Like Teo said, ski. Lot of powder right now.
You in downtown SLC, or off in the boonies somewhere?
So, anyone want to tell me what there is to do in Salt Lake City?
If you are into that kind of thing, Temple Square is worth a visit. You can't get inside the main temple, but it can be an interesting little tour nonetheless. (It is somewhat better in the summer with the gardens, however.)
So, anyone want to tell me what there is to do in Salt Lake City?
Your mom?
That would be whom there is to do.
It is somewhat better in the summer with the gardens
Yeah, kind of cold out there.
If you have access to a car, Park City is fun. Nice little restaurants, shops, art galleries, etc. Or you could go north a bit to Impact Guns and rent a machine gun. If you're around downtown, the light rail (light rail map) will take you to The Gateway, which is basically an open air mall. Shops, a Barnes and Noble, a movie theatre, etc. Happy Sumo, on the lower level near the theatre has good sushi. The Gateway is across the street from the Delta Center.
There's also a Jazz game tomorrow, but the only tickets left are probably pricey.
The Kanye West video looks like it was shot where I live, clogging included. Best moment for me: how ya stay faithful in a room full of hos, with a nod to the Holsteins.
Cera's from Brampton. That explains a lot.
Zach Galifianakis [...] doing [...] Kanye West.
Are you on my backporch? We were just talking about this right before I came in to check the blog. Weird.
Leblanc, you have to see the Visitors Center in Temple Square. There is a rotunda painted like the Milky Way, with a big white statue of Jesus in the middle, waving across the stars. I'm describing it badly; it has to be seen for its full kitschy weirdness to be understood. When I first saw it, I was kind of mortified, but I've become rather fond of it since. Most of the other "artwork" there---oil painting illustrations of the Book of Mormon, etc.---is unredeemably ghastly. The diaramas have become famous in the wake of Angels in America.
28: wait zach is still there? They filmed that video months ago.
Is that some kind of beard joke? Get 'em in quick. Beard comes off tomorrow.
Speaking of too many stimuli, I'm trying a drug titration experiment tonight (after cooking a delicious meal):
--one solid bong hit (about half what I'd normally take if I wanted to get stoned)
--one half a Percocet tablet (prescribed for a painful nasty, but not fully used).
--one half a glass of wine
--smoked a half a cigar, which I'm not used to.
So far, I think the Percocet is dominating. Glad I didn't take a whole one of those.
Not sure if yet if the highs are going to clash or harmonize. So far, clashing a little -- the single-drug classics are classics for a reason.
A shame I feel called to be Presidential on this one. What a paranoid society this is.
Can we bid on this thread for Stanley's beard?
34: Sorry, M/tch. I'm donating it to the Society for Individuals with Pubic-Hair Undercoverage (SIPHU).
31: what? Why?!
33: you're halfway there at best, man. I'd take another couple-three bong hits just for starters.
35: oh that better be pronounced sip-hop. Ain't nobody cast aspersions on my verdant forest.
That was way, way, way too easy, Siphu.
I'm making it easy on you; you must be distracted with Gallifinakis hovering over you with a beard trimmer.
you're halfway there at best, man. I'd take another couple-three bong hits just for starters.
I was hoping you'd comment Sifu. You seem to be the most informed and thoughtful in this area. I didn't take more because I'm paranoid about the Percocet -- never really taken it. Also, got to admit I'm getting old. But you're right that a bong hit is the most logical addition. Maybe I'll go try that now.
Also, opiates give me a lazy whole-body high where I don't like to think, and this pot makes me manic and hyper-intellectual, so they might work at cross purposes.
William Howard Taft: You didn't say if the wine was white or red. Personally, I think I'd go with red at this time of year (that is if you live in the Northern Hemisphere), probably a nice Shiraz or Syrah. (The Marquis-Phillips Shiraz are always amazing, especially the '03). Then, if you can get it, I'd definitely take a Tylox over a Percocet any day. People who know tell me that there's very little difference between the two, but my experience is that Tylox delivers more and better warm toasty feelings. Also, unless you just like them, ditch the cigar. You won't need it. Then you should build a fire (or have built one before all this, preferably), put on some music of your choice, put the Fish channel on TV, and kick back.
The Fish channel? Live hot hermeneusis?
Live hot hermeneusis?
Dude, The Fish Channel delivers a pink beam of light directly to your forehead. Dig it!
I hear it's actually run by the KGB.
Shit. Replace 48 with:
Ah, so anamnesis, then.
The NYT reports that the US military is actually studying the war game Malcolm Gladwell described in Blink to prepare for a possible conflict with Iran:
If the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, proved to the public how terrorists could transform hijacked airliners into hostage-filled cruise missiles, then the "Millennium Challenge 2002" war game with General Van Riper was a warning to the armed services as to how an adversary could apply similar, asymmetrical thinking to conflict at sea.
General Van Riper said he complained at the time that important lessons of his simulated victory were not adequately acknowledged across the military. But other senior officers say the war game and subsequent analysis and exercises helped to focus attention on the threat posed by Iran's small, fast boats, and helped to prepare commanders for last weekend's encounter.
If it were me, 33 sounds like a recipe for puking, but maybe not with that little wine.
Wow, that's some poorly harmonized grammar there, me.
I wonder if I killed Taft. I'm really not the one to ask about how much of which drugs mix well, since my answer tends to be "yes".
Sifu's now an assassin!
Half a percocet (aren't they tamer than percodan, or the opposite?), a glass of wine, a bong hit: sounds fine if not perhaps my thing.
Add the cigar and I commence barfing.
Of course I'm an assassin; what do you think ninja armies are for, anyhow? But yeah, the cigar part sounded kind of grody.
Every time a dentist gives me percocet or the like I save it for a real emergency, and every goddamn time a younger relative gobbles them down. Kids these days.
You Americans seem to be pain-killer enthusiasts.
I don't think I've ever been prescribed anything stronger than what I believe is marketed as 'Darvocet' in the US.
Some of us don't have access to the Scottish street, ttaM. These aren't painkillers we're talking about.
re: 58
You're still getting them from doctors even if you're not actually taking them for pain control. I can't really remember anyone I know ever being prescribed those sorts of painkillers.
59: It's so you can stay sufficiently dour.
re: 60
That's true. Plus, as Emerson hints, they maybe don't want to undermine the heroin dealers.
I don't think I've ever been prescribed anything stronger than what I believe is marketed as 'Darvocet' in the US.
Darvocet is a poor choice for recreational opiate use because it is mixed with acetaminophen (in the U.S. at least). You risk liver failure abusing that shit.
My experience is similar to ttaM's . I had some painfully impacted wisdom teeth extracted in Germany, and they wouldn't give me anything stronger than Benurol (acetaminophen). I put on my most pitiful face and begged for codeine, and the doctor adamantly refused. What a disappointment that was: from what I knew from my friends, the only consolation of getting your wisdom teeth out was that you could squirrel away a little surplus of prescription painkillers.
By contrast, I've had GP's in the U.S. cheerfully prescribe me Vicodin and Oxycodone for a knee injury and back injury, respectively.
Add the cigar and I commence barfing.
Same here. Even if I make it through the night, I'll be carrying a repulsive taste in my mouth the next day. (OTOH, the only time I ever smoke cigars is when I am drunk enough to overcome my natural disinclination to, so I am probably mentally associating the after-effects of the cigar with the hangover symptoms.)
re: 62
Yeah, I don't think it's abused at all. I picked it as that [a relatively mild synthetic opiate with acetaminophen, iirc] is about the strongest you'll get.
I had some minor surgery earlier this year -- nothing major but still with the potential for a fair bit of discomfort after -- and was given no post-operative painkillers at all.
'If it hurts, just take some aspirin', quoth they.
Ditto knee injury, back injury, etc. I came off my bicycle a couple of years back -- bruised/cracked ribs, torn shoulder muscle, harsh looking road rash, etc. No prescribed pain killers.
CA routinely gets vicodin for sore throats.
I got percocet for 7 stitches in my thumb.
'If it hurts, just take some aspirin', quoth they.
They told you to take an anticoagulant after they cut you open? Geez, maybe I should start lending more credence to those right-wing horror stories about socialized medicine.
re: 67
Might have been paracetamol [acetaminophen] they recommended. It was an over the counter thing anyway.
The operation didn't involve a major incision, so blood-loss wasn't really a risk. It was one of those minor but painful things. But still, I'd imagine that in the land of private medicine I'd have been sent away with a fistful of opiates.
I got percocet for 7 stitches in my thumb.
I bet they started to become suspicious after the fourth time you came in after a "cooking accident".
They mix Vicodin with acetaminophen, too. Vicodin doesn't strike me as all that strong.
mmm, vicodin. I forgot I have some in the fridge.
!
In the land of Socialised Medicine ™ I have an open ended repeat prescription for pure codeine. Call me if you're hurting, ttaM. Also, you need a new quack.
But still, I'd imagine that in the land of private medicine I'd have been sent away with a fistful of opiates.
My sense is that it's not the socialized medicine that's driving it; at least, shivbunny never had problems getting opiates from his doctor for pain in Canada. I think codeine + acetaminophen is over-the-counter in Canada, though, so maybe Canadians just like their opiates.
Well, I added a tab of Flexeril and a few more bong hits. That totally did the trick. As you'd expect, I slept extremely well and I feel great right now.
Every time I take a CNS depressant I realize that they must be *way* more addictive than pot, yet they are widely available. Doctors hand out Xanax like candy, and that stuff is like junior heroin.
re: 72
This applies at hospitals in Scotland, and England, and with four or five different GPs -- it's not specific to one doctor.
There may be an element of 'you're a young guy, just suck it up'.*
* the worst example of that -- in my early twenties I got sent to hospital with a suspected heart attack [it was a misdiagnosis and the chest pain and difficulty breathing was an allergic reaction to something]. Fuckers made me wait 2 hours while women and kids with minor injuries got seen first. And this wasn't because some l33t triage nurse had correctly noted it wasn't a heart attack -- the first two consultant doctors I saw both thought I'd had one.
69: True fact: I hate all pain killers with the exception of sweet, sweet codeine.
Also true, however, is that my knife skills are very poor and I really am forever slicing myself open or cutting bits of myself off. I once served a tart that had more than one fingery morsel in it.
I think codeine + acetaminophen is over-the-counter in Canada
Yep. Tylenol 3. Used to be available OTC in the U.S., before the crazies took over.
76: are you going to be seeing "Sweeny Todd" soon?
they must be *way* more addictive than pot
I'll say. In my misspent past I was reasonably up for abusing the occasional substance, but taking opiate painkillers (which I've never done other than as prescribed for actual pain), gives me the willies. I accidentally went three days without eating once because I was taking codeine for something. Everything was fine, and noticing that I was hungry would have been not-fine, so I didn't. Had to faint in the doctor's office to tip me off that I'd given up on basic self-care, like feeding myself.
Fuckers made me wait 2 hours while women and kids with minor injuries got seen first.
Seriously, dude? That's crazy fucked up.
re: 77
A mild form is over the counter here. Dihydrocodeine + acetaminophen = Paramol [advertised as the strongest over the counter analgesia].
74: Flexeril was on Forensic Files last night! Did you know if you take too much it has the reverse effect and makes all of one's muscles SEIZE UP?
79: The CNS depressants (Flexeril is one too, it's a muscle relaxant) also seem to work as appetite suppressors. I guess your muscles don't feel like doing anything, including digestion. That was one benefit of taking them with pot -- I didn't eat everything in the house like I usually do.
78: Hey, I made full disclosure when I served it, and my weirdo friends were all excited.
80 is an understatement. In that position I'd have fired off a letter to the chair of the trust, cc. my MP.
re: 83
Yeah, I've noted this a few times. I've seen pretty egregious examples of 'young man triage' both on the couple of times I've been to the ER myself [3 times in 20 years I think] and times when I've been there with other people.
re: 86
Well, I was young, and just relieved to find out I hadn't had a heart attack. It was more when I discussed with my parents [both ex nurses] that I realized how outrageous it was.
82: Wow, I'll make sure not to OD in the hope of turning into a puddle of jelly. Actually, even the small dosage of Flexeril I was prescribed didn't seem to make my muscles relax -- it just made me nod out in a happy haze. That is weird stuff, but better than the Percocet. Kind of reminded me of valium or Xanax.
Man. Is that a Scottish machismo (that is, externally imposed machismo) thing, or a UK-wide problem? I haven't heard stories like that here.
90: that's because we don't have evil socialized medicine!
Actually, I'd suspect it's more because we have strong malpractice laws.
re: 90
Might just have been bad luck, I suppose. But I'm pretty sure that the process of down-rating the importance of treating young(ish) guys is real -- although I'm sure it's not deliberate policy, more just a matter of individual triage staff unconsciously rating 'vulnerable' people like women, children, and the old as higher priority.
89: that's pretty much what muscle relaxants do, I believe. Except for Amyl Nitrate, which as far as I can tell just causes headaches (unless you're having anal sex, I guess, but I didn't try that part).
Taft, my usual commentary on this is that youprobably don't want to mix phenaphin, demarol, vodka, pot, beer, hash and a bit of dirty speed. Particularly to pick yourself up coming down from acid.
Other than that, though, it's all good.
92: Definitely. Although if you can bleed on them from across the admissions desk, they pay attention quick.
I used to think that Valium was OTC in Honduras, where I bought a big box of it off the shelf in a pharmacy. Lately, though, I've been wondering if that's just how the pharmacy operates there.
I really did need it, though, to get on those crazy 10-seat planes where all the signage is in Cyrillic letters.
Taft avoid dropping acid while coming up on a massive gin hangover.
96: my mom took a flight on Aeroflot once where, in absence of working navigational gear, the pilots were following local roads. At one point, curious, a passenger opened the emergency equipment hatch to find a neatly coiled rope.
It's fairly widespread. Kids get seen quickly (at least, I've been twice with mine and there was no problem), and old people. My exboyfriend got knocked off his motorbike - low speed, was fine in the end - and thought he'd better get checked out. Went to A&E before lunch on a weekday (so theoretically a quieter time), sat there for about 5 hours, gave up and came home.
Although my exexboyfriend did get seen reasonably quickly at the same A&E in ttaM's current city for cutting his hand open (deeply - we were pissed, and only went to the hospital because "we had no plasters in the house" and he ended up with several stitiches).
I gave away all my drugs after surgery; I hate how that stuff makes me feel. Seems I should have auctioned them off on the blog.
Ooh also Taft if you're tempted to mix dilaudid with fistfuls of high quality cocaine, do yourself the favor of googling it first and reading all about John Belushi. Don't let it stop you, but that's one interesting dude to read about.
ttaM probably gets triaged because of his fearsome appearance and reputation. Young Scottish men do not have a warm fuzzy image, especially not in Scotland. "But wait, wait-- I'm not a yob, I'm an analytic philosopher!" just make things worse.
I worked in a mental health unit at one point. Young crazy guys with muscles get special treatment, which mean that they get put in four-point restraints the minute they show any attitude. (This was the crisis unit, where people are first stabilized; I don't know much about extended care.)
In other news, I saw a young angry drunk with muscles bounced froma tavern last night. People are pretty mild mannered around here, so the place didn't have a bouncer. The two cute little barmaids didn't enjoy their experience, though the other guys in the tavern dida good job of ushering the guy out.
93 - oh, I loved poppers! Amazing how many people will oblige if you stick a little brown bottle under their nose in a public place and say "sniff that" - very entertaining. And poppers + acid = lovely.
A propos of triage, any of you UK commenters remember the advertising campaign that the British armed forces ran a few years ago (I think they were mostly cinema adverts rather than television spots) where the camera showed a scene from a deployment from the point of view of the soldier? (This being before the Iraq war, the scenes did not depict combat, but other kinds of high-stress situations a soldier might find himself in.)
In of the spots, a soldier is looking on the scene of an accident where a transport is overturned and two soldiers lie injured. One of them, who is black, is pinned under the truck and screaming in pain. The soldier from whose point of view the scene is shown goes over and treats another, white soldier. The injured man under the truck is howling in pain and accusing the rescuer of racism for treating the white soldier first. Then a narrator intones, "Your training has taught you: Always treated the silent injured first."
There was some amazingly powerful emotional content in those spots. I don't know how effective they were at meeting recruiting goals, but they sure did make you take notice.
The first time I got percocet for a tooth extraction was within the last 15 years. My brother stole that one, my son stole the next bottle, and my goddamn little niece stole the third one.
The only times I've ever wanted a painkiller were once when I had a throbbing three-day toothache which kept me from sleeping, and once when I had a tiny but apparently very deep burn which had the same effect. And of course, I didn't have any painkillers for either.
I don't know how effective they were at meeting recruiting goals
If it was before the war, they were probably too damn effective - the government decided the army was too expensive and started sendingredundancy letters to people who were under fire in Bosnia (... and why exactly don't you like Tony Blair?)
Since 2004, of course they can't recruit hyperactive street people.
101: Ogged does not strike me as a drug-type guy, he likes to be in control. Maybe he'd like cocaine if it gave him the illusion of being even wittier than he is.
I'm with Sifu on poppers, they gave me a fierce migraine-class headache and did nothing else. Smell terrible.
Asilon, you sound cool. I find it romantic when women enjoy illegal drugs, yet am turned off by crazy dysfunctional people. Leaves me searching in a small niche market.
OK, my last Presidential post. Also my last time with those prescription things for a while. The addictive potential scares me. I slept so wonderfully I can see the potential to take them regularly. One nice thing about drugs like acid is that most of us come out of a trip with no desire to take them again for quite some time.
My son calls that the "Please don't make me do this again" effect.
Yes, opiates are good for times when you want help going to sleep in the face of your pain, especially situations where if you can manage to get to sleep you might just wake up and discover the pain has passed: migraines and back spasms come to mind.
I slept so wonderfully
Yeah, boy, the main highlight of recreational Vicodin for me was the wondrous, restorative, luxurious sleep. Luxe, calme et volupté.
I bet they started to become suspicious after the fourth time you came in after a "cooking accident".
"You don't come here for the stitches, do you?"
Drug thread! Man, I watched "Music & Lyrics" last night. Coulda been taking vicarious vicodin.
I find it romantic when women enjoy illegal drugs, yet am turned off by crazy dysfunctional people. Leaves me searching in a small niche market.
um, NA meetings, maybe? interestingly, if you do real amounts of opiates you cannot sleep. you go on the nod, sometimes have fascinatingly banal hallucinations, move in and out of a fugue like state. but you don't actually sleep. personally I would cut out the stogies and triple up on the percocet. and percodan is better; everything -cet has acetominephen.
Lots of non-addicts join AA or NA for dating purposes. (Two sources, one of them my sister the counselor). Bad reason: recovering addicts are vulnerable. Good reason: recovering addicts are often fun, interesting people who are trying to put the self-destructive stuff behind them.
Dating fellow recoverees is called "The Thirteenth Step", but many jump it up the queue several slots.